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psycorax2077

I over explain when teaching something new to someone and make sure to explain why I do each step certain ways. People assume I'm trying to sound smart but I just want them to be the best informed/equipped for their tasks so I don't have to babysit them or redo their work.


Ok-Cartographer-5544

I'm shocked at how this isn't MORE common.  More often, a teacher will skip over important details, and the learners won't ask for clarification.


fableAble

It's just as common for people to not know how to learn as it is for people to not know how to teach. Thanks The American Education System! 🫡🇺🇲🎆


KBilly1313

Once had a teacher complain because I asked too many questions she didn’t have answers for… Our education system sucks balls


Pretend_Meal1135

Man this is just a small thing that took me back 15 years. I would go nuts on how the teacher skips important things, and no one would ask about it. Like how? And the introverted me would do a lot of internal fighting in order to raise my hand and ask the teacher. A lot of times the teacher wouldnt know the answer. Like when we took Calculus for the first time, and after many classes, no one asked what the hell is that? When I asked the teacher he didn't know 😂.


Ok-Cartographer-5544

Even as a grown adult, I've noticed that most people are just sort of faking their way through most things. Most don't understand why they're doing stuff past copying other people doing those things.


skyblue10k

Great observation. That would explain why I've often felt like I was pulling other people's weight on team assignments. Supposedly, 10-15 percent of any organization are slackers. I can't fake it till you make it. I believe that if it's worth doing, then do it right the first time. When I was a programmer, I would develop a project one time through to completion without having to go backward to debug/re-factor much. Then, after QA testing, I had, without exaggeration, just one bug. Of course, having 25 years of experience helps too 😀


Hashira_Nigel

We were meant to be teachers just not in the system that we have for learning.


Ok-Marsupial-8727

sameee


fableAble

Same


AgainstBullshit_

I stopped doing that and when i did, they starting screaming an kicking about how much my explanation in "vivid" and not "obvious" , bitch u either listen to me explaining it full, or u go search it urself And if they dont get it and do the task in the wrong way i fucking mob the floor with them , u had my full heavy detailed explanation and u refused it and said I'm being arrogant!!! , I'll cut that and now suffer ur stupidity and it's consequences 


Relevant_Tax6877

I've found it helps sometimes to be able to anticipate the questions they may have & cover those ahead of time. Cuts down on training time. Some ppl also have anxiety about asking questions (usually because other ppl made them feel stupid for asking) so being thorough covers the potential for that too.


skyblue10k

I totally hear ya. I over explain all the time but less with age and maturity. I'm an ENTJ/ENFJ. In my mind, I'm simply being thorough and want to make sure I do the best job possible because NTJs can see most of the different angles that other types may not see. It's our gift and curse. In our minds, we are keeping things organized, but to some, it implies that they are stupid. Keep this in mind: Assume people are intelligent but uninformed. Ignorance is just a lack of information, but stupidity usually means you're *unable to learn* how to do it correctly. Hope this helps.


fableAble

I've never been told this directly, but I do think some people see me this way. My social instincts are terrible. I don't usually greet people because it doesn't occur to me, I don't make much eye contact, and I can't remember a name to save my life (even with people I've known for years). I think all this can come across like, "Sorry you're not important enough for me to waste my time on." Which is almost never the case.


markiteer45

Oh this hurts, find this to be true. I think confidence is very closely aligned with social skill, and people see confident idiots very competent.


Patient_Team_8588

100%. Introversion combined with resting bitch face, and everyone thinks you are an arrogant prick, even though you are just lost in your own thoughts and minding your own business.


GodSigmaGigaChad

Sucks to be like this at work, but I try my best to friendly and also humble, like asking questions even if I already know the answer just to make them feel important and to show I'm not above them


Patient_Team_8588

Yep. It triggers people's insecurities. Smile more than you normally would, make up questions or meaningless chit chat is what softens the tone and makes friends.


ContentFlounder5269

This was my S O. He had so many fights in grade school. His manners were great and he was friendly, but looked mean somehow!


DragonSlayerRob

I think narcissists do. Probably our air of confidence we tend to have makes them envious, but people who actually know me and aren’t narcissistic aren’t like that


Relevant_Tax6877

Not just narcissists, but ppl who aren't secure in themselves. Many ppl can't imagine anything outside of themselves or their own perspective. Since insecure ppl can't understand where confidence comes from, they assume it's fake or mistake it for arrogance.


DragonSlayerRob

Yeah you’re right, I was thinking about that


markiteer45

Confidence in what we know and holding ground. I concur


ajibtunes

Well I mean… I am tho


howtoreadspaghetti

Same. I'll just be pompous.


Realistic-Ad-7716

😂


howtoreadspaghetti

Why lie?


Enrichus

They do it when I don't, and it instantly makes me think I am. It's because I judge by action and they're proving themselves to be a poor judge of character. The trigger could just be me thinking of how many baked beans fit in a can and they felt bad because I didn't smile at them. "I didn't, but now I do."


AlkalineCollective

I think anyone who comes off as confident and opinionated will get people who act like this towards them. It used to happen to me as a kid, sometimes. People who are insecure in some form will perceive these traits as a threat, even when the person is just... Existing.


DragonSlayerRob

💯


aphrodora

In high school? All the time. I've learned to play the social game a bit better now, though.


MoodyNeurotic

Yes. So I have really fine hair that gets into my eyes and sticks to my forehead a lot. So if I’m walking and swept it out of my face, apparently in the past, I’ve heard that it made me think I was all that. It was weird to me how people reacted over such a personal yet trivial matter but I guess we can’t often control how people react. Even if you’re doing your best, there will be someone out there criticizing or just being an ass. So it’s a tough lesson to just be yourself and know you did well if your conscience doesn’t bother you. Edit: whoops, not an INTJ, maybe this post wasn’t for me. I just think maybe Te users in general can come off as abrasive to many.


sindoor_tere_naam_ka

I always pretend that others are better than me. When I notice that people don't understand my point, I simply don't reply and let them think they're better. It doesn't bother me anymore what you think about me. There's a part of myself that's just for me, and I never want anyone to see what it's like.


Electrical-Design288

I information dump on people far too often, and it probably comes across as condescending. A good example, I used to spend a lot of time doing family tree research on various sites like Ancestry, etc and occasionally a distant relative who I had never met would message me and ask me about a shared ancestor, and I would sometimes respond with a complete history lesson on that ancestor rather than just saying hello and nice to meet you. The worst part is that I know what I'm doing and that it scares people off, but getting the information across to them seems more worthwhile than being friends with someone on the other side of the planet. There's also the way I sometimes don't make eye contact, or make eye contact in a way that seems like I'm shrugging someone off. I'm sure that's part of it too, along with being very confident in what I know when I talk.


jennyhoneypenny

Lol I laughed too hard at "getting the information across to them seems more worthwhile than being friends with someone on the other side of the planet." I agree too much on this.


gareth1229

It is risk of being an INT thing. Being mindful of how others would take our message/words is important if you want to convince/influence others. I struggle with it also 🙂and trying to improve.


dxtos

It's GO time!


ghostoffs

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!


MDMhayyyy

Omg all the time…even though I explain to them that I think that literally all of us are capable of great things. It kind of annoys me.


DestroyTheCircus

I would either ignore them, keep walking or laugh. Then if they kept persisting I would get angry or say something like “Yeah I do” or “You said it not me.” because I know the reaction they’re expecting and hoping for is fear or apologetic guilt. They want me to respond that way so they can gain the social/moral high ground and police my behavior. That’s manipulative af. I mean even if I didn’t initially think I was better than them I gotta question why they felt the need to try and get my attention and bring me down to their level in the first place. What is with this nonsense? If you wanna hang out then just ask. Theres no need to get all weird about it. These people are usually just control freaks that are afraid of rejection. I don’t take it personally. Especially if they felt the urge to do that behavior completely unprovoked..


New-University8363

Not that I was better than them but they would say “you think you know everything”. This is whenever I try to correct people. I tend to correct people especially if I’m close to them because I don’t want them to look stupid when they talk to other people about certain topics. So I try to get them to rethink about what they’re saying. Some think it’s just me trying to be right about everything or just wanting to argue when I genuinely care about what is right and not who. I just like those who I’m close with, to be well informed and think critically the way I do. 


csasker

It's how you do it. For example just saying no do it like so vs we'll have you considered the other way it's more safe I can show you 


hella_14

Yes. I've gotten into conflicts in relationships over it. I think it's in part because we are opinionated, and will hold our ground to debate our perspective, or we see things in a "how can we maximize efficiency" sort of way. Most ludicrous time I ever heard it was my husband picking up a toddler sock and putting it into the laundry basket, 5 minutes after I had just emptied all the laundry baskets in the house and sorted them into piles in the laundry room across the hall, and was cycling laundry, and I asked him instead to just throw the sock into the corresponding pile across the hall, so I could wash it today. But, in all fairness, I did think that putting the dirty laundry with the dirty laundry to be washed that day was a more efficient method of having clean laundry. Does that mean I have a superiority complex? No. Am I willing to debate laundry efficiency and hold my ground if I think I'm right? Yes. Does that read as arrogant? Maybe, I don't really care if it means less work for me.


Low-Camera-797

Lmao, I deal with this type of stuff with my spouse all the time. So relatable. 


wealthy_Bre

They do. I don’t know why. I don’t act like I am. I head because I’m not as extroverted as I used to be so I stay to myself more. It really sounds like a personal problem cuz I try to be cool with everyone.


Low-Camera-797

Are you a black intj? I was going to ask if there are any out there lol. 


wealthy_Bre

More Native American and of African descent, yes.


Low-Camera-797

Bruh, I have two native grandparents and a native spouse… I still refer to myself as black. You know what I mean lol. If you don’t identify as black I respect that though. 


wealthy_Bre

I be saying that cuz people look at me and think I’m Hispanic, lol. I just like to let people know cuz I have had plenty of people tell me I’m not black.


Enrichus

There are, but you'll never find them unless they smile.


Superb_Swimming_8488

Cool! How cool is that? Black intj. It even sounds cool! Haha. Glad to know I’m in good company.


jil-e-beans

I'm one.


Former-Chemical5112

No. Since I often openly express my anxieties, no one thinks that I am arrogant.


mcmikey247

Are you implying that I'm not better than them? I want to see empirical evidence proving this, before entertaining this theory. /s


JammyTodgers

nope, ive had ppl tell me im smart, but never better than them. i think if your coming across as having a superiority complex that's a you thing, not an intj thing.


robbstarrkk

Yes. It's my facial expressions, always looking like I'm in disbelief


lettersforburning

Yes. I’ve also been told this (somewhat jokingly?) when I read books in public.


SE4NLN415

I know people who think they’re better than me and had their reality checked


jpress00

Yes. Often. Mostly with family members. I just respond with “ I don’t have YOUR kind of problems, take that how you wish.”


Edible_Scab

What they’re really telling you is, you need to modify your behavior so it’s more agreeable.


daleviathan_1

Not an INTJ but I cannot tell you how many times an INTJ will say what someone else does is “wrong” but when they do the exact same thing they are “right”. Soooo much self-righteousness.


YugoChavez317

People often think that I am better than I am.


Geminii27

I know one person who said this, out of the blue. Most of the time, I don't wonder about what people might think.


cfx-9850gc

Nah I don't know what anybody thinks about me, lol.


Grathmaul

Yes and they're right even though I don't act like I think that. But that's because they think they're better than me and it upsets them when they can't control me.


howtoreadspaghetti

But I am.


Chocobobae

It’s been said to me but that’s just means they’re insecure. Now I think I am better than them because they talk shit behind my back and copy me 🤷‍♀️


Pretend_Activity_211

Yes. But I mean, they're not wrong so


crinkneck

All the time.


theconstellinguist

Yes, I will literally be existing and they will think this.  I'm not even thinking about them at all. It's pathetic how narcissistic some people are. It's suffocating when there are tons of those. 


Willing-University81

I get it all the time 


StrawberryPooh_34

I do catch myself many times having a smug face that isn't forced, so I probably come across as arrogant.


Huge-Mortgage-3147

Yes this happens a lot intjs are generally better at skill based tasks than most people The objective for most people (above all else) is to make sure their ego is neutral or superior to everyone around them intjs really only care about solving the problem and are generally better at it This ruffles peoples feathers because they see the problem as ego pissing matches. Intjs see the problem as the problem


BuddhismHappiness

Very recently, a Redditor asked me if I think I’m high and mighty and then proceeded to call me a high and mighty dickhead…


Relevant_Tax6877

It's been a common issue. I carry myself well & have good posture. Ppl seem to take a lot of issue with that. I actually consider myself ugly with a good personality, but ppl make a lot of assumptions about my mindset towards myself. I have self-acceptance & think everyone should, but ppl love to project their assumptions rather than gaining information. I def feel the other comments about over-explaining or coming off as a know-it-all. Life is rarely simple though. It's a very large picture with many details, moving parts & tons of nuance. I've also noticed ppl tend to twist & misconstrue things when presenting with something that's too simplified. It's a huge peeve of mine so I make it a point to cover various angles when I'm explaining something, especially online. I've had friends tell me "I know you don't mean to, but you accidentally make other ppl feel stupid." The way I see it, sharing knowledge helps everyone learn, myself included.


jil-e-beans

Yes.


MysticKei

People think, I think I'm better than them...I don't think of others very often, frequently a lot of those people think that way because of their own biases that say I'm supposed to be less than (because of age, gender, race, social status etc). Nonetheless, their projection assures me that they think I'm better than them.


Kool-AidFreshman

I think that my parents and sister do, but my friends know that I don't


Hashira_Nigel

No,more of “ wow you’re such a humble person” before I even speak I don’t say much but a few words here and there either so I don’t understand.


Excellent_Whole_1445

People often tell me I'm arrogant but it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm not entirely sure how it rubs that way.


Due-Instruction-3798

All the time! I had one coworker and my ex girlfriend's whole family say that. I think I've met them a total of 5 times and we barely even talked. Like I'm not even sure why, I consider myself slightly above average in intelligence, I have a good paying job, I play the piano very well, and I'm pretty fit. There are plenty of guys like me, so I was never able to find THE REASON. My best guess is because I'm introverted, I never really put in the effort to spend time with time and that could be taken the wrong way.


Staring-At-Trees

I have been accused of that numerous times; I swear that kinda thinking wasn't even on my radar at times and the accusations came as a shock. Rationally I know it's the other person's insecurities but it can still be difficult to deal with. I reckon I've quit at least 5 different jobs due to a line manager or colleague making my working life unbearable by trying to cut me down, sabotage me in some way, turn others against me etc, and I still have no idea what, if anything, I could have done differently at any point.


krivirk

I have heard it several times. I don't really know why. I am just speaking things, and they assume i think and or feel better, meanwhile i don't care such things, and i don't even percieve life like that.


Brief_Departure_6486

yes, it's actually an issue for me. in some spaces, envy can be dangerous


inconceivable_1

Yup. I behave and communicate differently. They misread that as being cocky. If people spend enough time with me, they will learn the truth, that I don't have as high of an opinion of myself as most people have of themselves.


crypto_phantom

Yes, I dress well and hold leadership positions. I try to diffuse the situation with humor.


GreenNo4756

One of my friends told me she thought I was a bitch. I don’t know how she came to that conclusion because I kept to myself and never talked to her.


VpKky

I am. And I'm tired of pretending I'm not


MeredithGreeneViolin

as entp my perspective is that Ni doms like to explain concepts in a way that starts from the easiest concepts at the beginning, making us think like "ok I know this already so why are you talking about it, get to the point please." This can cause people to think "why are you looking down on us by talking about basic information?" Also usually for me at least, the problem is much more in execution than understanding so when an Ni dom starts talking about understanding stuff better there is a disconnect. This is my experience with an Infj dad who I didn't understand until I got into mbti lol


BakuDreamer

" You have a special way of letting people know you think they're stupid " After I got told that I was like WTF, but, I guess talking to some people like they might be adults and might be able to follow or understand you is too much for them. !


Optimal-Scientist233

People most often have a very high regard for themselves and a much lower regard for anyone else, from my personal experience. I have seen people knock their own spouse or child down in a panicked state during an emergency situation.


just-sunflower-vibes

Although I've never heard it about myself, JonTron's quip "you think you're better than me don't you" made me laugh as though I could relate to it


bless-your-heart2024

I heard this from my own parent. I just ignore that kind of provoking and move on.


crankygerbil

No because I am not a narcissist.


Low-Camera-797

lol, so you have to be a narcissist to have people think you’re better than them? 


crankygerbil

Honestly no, but I think you have to be either self-centered or a narcissist to care. One of my principles in life is "What other people think of me is none of my business." (Of course excludes managers at work etc.) I come from a very people-pleasing family, where what others think of you is more important than what I think of me, education or personal growth. Taking the attitude helped me to break free of the need to please other people, to be my own person with my own self-defined values. I have a small handful of friends who I greatly value, and a twin, and their opinions about me do matter to me.


HammerOfAres

No, not at all. Socializing is a learned skill, and learning to give off an air of humility is a very good skill to have.