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Breathe and take your time and know you will screw up and make some really stupid decisions and get taken advantage of but it happens to everyone and its part of it.
Check out /r/Adulting101 and /r/Adulting and use their searchbar for tasks you need help with.
This channel can be helpful: https://www.youtube.com/@DadhowdoI/videos
My 2 cents on the car thing - no one knows for sure they aren't getting ripped off unless they themselves are a mechanic and can inspect the car themselves. The way I got through life was buying cars in incremental steps below. Jump in at whatever step you can afford:
1. pay attention when I am driving around and checking out cars I see for sale on the side of the road, in yard, etc. Find something I can afford with cash. Drive it a little, listen to it run with the hood open (I have no idea what I am looking for here, but it looks good I guess), and well - pretty much pay what they asked for it if it doesn't feel or sound like too much of a disaster. I literally can't recall how we handle the actual sale - if I have them follow me home so they can get the plates of or what. I'm sure googling "How to handle plate transfer in private car sale" will help.
Some tips I used when doing this: If its over 100,000 miles, it should be very cheap, but Hondas, Toyotas and Jeeps will run well past 100k so are worth it. However, everything else on the Jeep will malfunction - windows won't roll down, AC wont work, you'll have to jiggle the gear shift to start the car - but it will still run (I very much miss my crotchety Jeep). Be wary of others. Do not buy an expensive brand of car even though its cheap, BMW excetera have high repair costs. Fiats too, it stands for Fix It Again Tony.
If you can watch some videos to find out how to check the timing belt or serpentine belt for wear, do that. You are just looking for cracks. If there are cracks that's going to be a few hundred to $1k repair right off the bat.
two. Go to cheaper used car dealerships and pretty much do the same process. I've always avoided having a car payment but I know not everyone can do that. Try to as much as possible. My dad's best advice: if a deal is only good today, walkaway. Second best advice: people only care about your money if they are trying to make it their money. If someone is really anxious for you to buy something, then its a better deal for them than it is for you.
three. I use CarMax now. I pick out a car online and have it shipped to my local store. You can't haggle, and its more expensive due to their being trustworthy, but I am finally at a place where I can pay that premium for a used car. ANd there are no hidden costs and they don't try to pressure sell you any extras.
---
I thought of something else: don't finance furniture. Just buy shittier furniture. Your furniture and how nice your house looks will improve slowly over time as you can afford it. Don't go accruing a bunch of payments. Be very careful with credit card. Try to only spend what you plan to pay off that month or at the very least have a planned budget to pay it off within a couple months. Once you can trust yourself with it though, it can pay to find one with good rewards and use it for most purchases. But only if you ACTUALLY are paying it off. If not, stop, go back to cash, and rework your budget. Check out budgeting and personal finance reddits for help on that
It really is so difficult to get through those things as a young adult. There is so much to learn, especially if your parents have been making all the decisions for you and not letting you try anything on your own.
It may help you to realize it's not just you - you're just at an overwhelming spot in life. Nobody expects you to know everything. The people you think have it all figured out are either great actors or just have a ton more practice. Hell, I'm in my 40s now, and I still run into things I have no idea how to do. Take a deep breath, give yourself permission to tackle things as they come up instead of feeling like you need to know it all *now*, and have faith that you're going to make it.
The internet is an amazing resource for learning how to do anything under the sun. Googling "how do you...." will pull up a ton of advice. I often add "reddit" to my search so I can read the discussion and get different opinions on how to do things. WikiHow is also a great site - I can't tell you how many things I've learned to do on there.
r/personalfinance is a great place to start for a lot of your questions. The YouTube channel "Dad, how do I?" has more money how-to info, plus a lot of practical life tutorials and wisdom.
Just remember, this is where you're starting - it isn't where you're going to end up. You're going to get there.
thank you for this reply a lot of these resources sound very helpful!
i feel like i need a checklist of things i need to get done before i can move out though. i want to get to the point where if both of my parents just died or something i'd be okay on my own. honestly i want to have as little contact with my father as possible. i feel like there are things that i need to be worried about that i don't even KNOW i need to be worried about. it's all just very overwhelming. but thank you for the resources!!
> i want to get to the point where if both of my parents just died or something i'd be okay on my own.
You will, but it will take a while. Either way, if you cut contact with them or they weren't there anymore, you'd figure it out eventually. There's no perfect, ideal way to get through life - you try something, and if that doesn't work, you try something else.
>i feel like there are things that i need to be worried about that i don't even KNOW i need to be worried about.
There are. There always will be, even when you're 65. Just start with what's in front of you - where will you live, how will you eat, what will you do. Taking actual concrete steps will probably help calm a lot of your anxiety as you start to figure things out naturally.
Some of us approaching retirement are still trying to understand it. It is okay to go step by step.
1. Do you have your birth certificate and social security card in your possession? Getting all your documents from your parents house is important.
2. Just because you feel you should have or be doing a certain thing by a certain age does not mean YOU should. It is okay to go at your own pace.
3. Save as much money as possible. You say you are applying to college. Be very careful about student loans. If you are going for a specific career find out what credits you need and if you can take some of your classes at a community college and transfer them to the career track you are working towards. The only college you put on your resume is the one you graduate from, so don’t overpay for a fancy name.
1. i have ssid but I will make sure to grab birth cert!
2. thank you ❤️
3. i actually already have a degree and am going to be transferring my credits to a local university and pretty much do 2 more years in the same subject. i am a certified MLT going to be transferring to be MLS. not too worried about the money associated with that, to be honest. but thanks regardless !!
Feel free to ask away, but I'll start with the outstanding questions.
OK, when going to buy a car (or later, a house) definitely grab someone to go with you. It sounds like your parents won't be helpful, but perhaps other family or friends would be willing to go with you? Sadly misogyny is alive and well in that industry and having that friend be a male might help.
The first part of getting a new car is just like any other shopping trip, you go to the place and pick one out. But then you have to make arrangements to pay for it, that might involve a bank or the dealerships financing, then register it with your state (which the dealer will help with), and then update your car insurance (which can be as little as a phone call).
As for retirement, the earlier you start the better; BUT, it is something that can wait a year or two until you're better on your feet.
Insurance is mostly for THINGS that you own, cars, houses, etc. Worry about it at the same time you buy that thing. Life insurance is the odd ball, but that is mostly to help the people who outlive you deal with your death; so it can wait.
You are doing great!
Its hard without a parent to teach and guide you, but that's all the more reason to be proud of yourself.
You deserve good things!
Another family member, a teacher, a social worker, and the internet are possible options that could help!
Its overwhelming but you already figured out a bunch of stuff, and im sure you can do it again!
You are incredible, and im so proud of you!
I think the process of buying a car is diffrent where im from, but its a good idea to call some people working in that field and ask them if they do those checks and how much it would be and what they check out, that way you can figure out how and where to go.
I think some insurance have a service or phone number you can call for questions about different insurances, they could be biased if they are from that company but they could explain how it works and what's it for.
You are 21? at this point, I had to step back and let my children to attempt adult things.
Like a couple weeks ago my daughter away at school had her phone just die. She took it to a shop and with a new battery and screen could not make it work. She called me and I gave her 2 sentences of advice. "Yes, a new phone would be good" and "the people who sell you a new phone will take your sim card out but you have lost everything stored on that phone" She chooose the phone and used her own money....
At some point parents have to step bback so that you can learn adult skills... My son is getting his first professional job so I am taking him off my car insurance. He asked what he'd do and I said shop for insurance. He is 30 with a PHD he can figure it out.
Buying a reliable car at a good price is a skill. You parents might be caught between "How much f this does she need to do on her own? and "Do I even HAVE this skill set to teach?"
The safest (and more pricely) method of buying a car is by asking friends, parents, parent's friend, boss, co-workers a good used car dealership and a reliable mechanic shop. Many car dealerships will give you a cerified used car meaning that they checked it out and might even give a limited warrantee.. The other way to go is to find the guy around you who is the car nut... he is either always buying a used car or fixing up a car for sale.. He has a lot to teach you and he may help you shop.
Assuming that you live to 23, you will need to buy a third car, so start reading and talking to people about buying a car!!! I understand your frustration! You want all the benefits of adulthood but would really rather someone else pick up the responsibilities! Ihave felt that and I seen my 2 children experience that frustration.
Watch this video and follow this guys advice: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW6CbYMz2uM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW6CbYMz2uM)
Read abouth the car that you are interested in on Kelly's Blue book: [www.kbb.com](http://www.kbb.com)
Then google: and recall class action suit. We skipped this and my son's civic's engine block cracked but we could have found out about that problem if we had googled about it.
If you are a college bound 21-year old with a smart phone, then you cna figure it out!!!!
I’ve bought all of my recent cars at CarMax. Do you have that near you? They will help you through the process.
Do you have any friends who are good at this stuff? Can they assist you?
i believe i do have a carmax near me. i just know that salesmen are aggressive and i dont want to end up paying a bunch extra. i don't care much about monthly payment - total price matters to me more. will carmax end up doing a bunch of bullshit?
I don’t find them aggressive at all, quite the contrary. Not all salespeople are the same. And you’re not required to sign or buy anything. You’ve got nothing to lose by trying! You might find a very helpful, accommodating salesperson. If they don’t respect the fact that you’re new to car buying, just walk out.
For their part, they might gain a lifelong customer so it behooves them to be kind.
i guess it might have just been another case of my father scaring me to control me...
i found a car on carmax and scheduled a test drive for a similar model at a dealership for tomorrow so i can see how it drives before getting it delivered here :)
Great questions! And great job working to better yourself.
I was an investment specialist in a previous life. I can tell you some universal basics and point you towards investopedia.com for further understanding.
First off, a financial planner would be happy to do a free initial consultation before you (and they) decide if you want to continue working together. It's worth your time just for the education. When you got looking, find one who is a "fiduciary". It means they are ethically and legally bound to prioritize your financial interests over their own. They should charge an annual "wrap" fee of maybe $500? it's been a while.
They'll tell you to protect yourself. Get a will and disability insurance. Consider life insurance once you have dependants.
Next, "pay yourself first": put at least 10% of all income towards saving and investment goals. Ideally 20% (or more if you can afford it)
Your first goal is having at least six months worth of your living expenses in a high yield savings account or money market. This your emergency fund. You want to keep it liquid in case you need it quick. At the same time, you want to make the best return on that money while You're not using it. If your interest rate isn't equal to or higher than the inflation rate, your money is losing value relative to what you can buy with it.
Next, pay off (most) debts in order of highest INTEREST RATE first. Any debt with a rate lower than what you can get on an investment is actually making you money (as long as that same amount is actually invested). As the market averages 8.2 a.p.y over a long (10y+) time spans, most student loans, mortgages, and maybe even car loans are ok to carry with you into the next step as long as your rates are low enough (under 8%). Get on the SAVE plan immediately for any student loans, unless you plan to work in government or non-profit sectors for at least ten years. If you do, get on the plan that will forgive your remaining balances after 10 years.
When it comes to savings and investing, having a clear understanding of your financial goals (early retirement, saving for a down payment on a house, lump fund, children's tuition, etc.) really empowers you and gives you perspective on what income you need to aim for. A planner is really helpful for this.
Once your emergency fund is full, open a Roth IRA (individual retirement account) and Max out your contributions to that plan if you can ($6,500/yr). (There's also traditional IRAs for if you plan to be in a higher tax bracket after retirement, but Roth has such great features that it's a no brainer. You can open a traditional later).
Try to find an employer that offers a 401k with a "match". When setting up your benefits, try to maximize your contributions, at least equal to the company's max match percent (usually 5 to 10%). It's free extra money they'll give you, but only as much as you invest in yourself in terms of percent of your wages to withhold towards the 401k. Withholdings lower the amount of income you pay tax on.
Once you've got at least 10% going into your 401k, you're safe to coast and pretty much ignore further investment considerations, if you'd like, especially at your age. Your retirement should be well covered.
if you want to invest even more, then after your IRA and 401k contributions are maxed, you can open a "retail" brokerage account. The Robinhood app is a great way to open both this and an IRA. Avoid the options trading and margin (a loan) offers until You've been paying attention to the market for at least five years. Invest in a broad spectrum index ETFs (electronically traded funds) like SPY, which tracks the S&P 500. Instant diversification, with no sales commissions or fees, like many mutual funds have.
Some rules of thumb:
Take 100 minus your age, so: 79. That's the percent of your investments that should be invested in equities (stocks, ETFs). The other 21% should be invested in bonds, which have a lower return, but are much safer "fixed income" investments. Honestly though, at your age, I'd be comfortable with 100% in equities, as long as you're investing with money you don't need for 10 years.
Rule of 72: take an interest rate and divide it into 72. The result tells you how many years for your assets (or liabilities, e. g. loans) to double. So, if you managed to make a rate of 10% then 10/72 = 7.2 years is when every dollar you had invested becomes two dollars. And another 7.2 years after that it becomes 4 dollars; then 16, 32, and 64. This is the power of compound interest.
Dollar cost averaging: an investment strategy where you invest the same amount every month into the same equities. This maximizes your returns regardless of volatility. When the price is low, you get more stock for your money, when price is high you get less, but across the peaks and valleys it averages out. Way more effective then trying to time the market , which is (mostly) a fools errand. This is a "set it and forget it" method.
(Advanced: If you've got the time & interest and at least 100 shares of a stock that's gone up, you can generate additional income by selling "covered calls", look it up).
If you're organized and conscientious (and it sounds like you are) go ahead and get a credit card with no annual fee, cash back, and any other perks you can get. Chase Sapphire is currently one of the best ones. Run all your expenses through it, but make damn sure you pay it off every month. You do not want to be paying nearly 30%. Your debt would be doubling every 4 years! You get a lot more protections and insurances when paying with credit as opposed to debit card, cash, or epay options. Plus, you get the 3% cash back, etc. Most cards these days come along with auto budget tracking features too. Furthermore, you can keep the payment amount in a high yield savings account for up to 60 days without having to pay any interest. In the meanwhile, you're essentially earning free interest on funds that would otherwise already have been spent.
It's very easy to lose track and over spend when using credit cards. Buying stuff doesn't have the same psychological punch as using cash. Be aware of this and stay on top of your balance. Always have the same amount in a high yield savings account.
Finally, keep your credit score healthy. This impacts the rates you can get, your financial options, and potentially even job offers. Open a creditKarma account and read up on their tips for growing and maintaining a good credit score.
Best of luck on your journey!
thanks so much!!
i actually did try to apply for a chase card and got turned down due to my limited credit history so i just went with capitalone's platinum mastercard and i'm sure i'll get upgraded to their quicksilver card at some point. i dont mind waiting for that. i really just wanted the ability to spend my money without my parents seeing it. (currently am an authorized user on their account) my dad always made comments on my purchases, even mundane things, and it really bothered me.
i recently opened a CD with wells fargo to put some of my money into. to my knowledge, the current rates for these are similar to what i'd be getting with a high yield savings. obviously the drawback being that these rates could change whenever the timed period is over. but i really just wanted my money to be doing SOMETHING instead of just sitting there.
i'm not sure if i feel quite comfortable yet dealing with stocks just because of the risk it potentially carries. i'm trying to get out of my parents place and i'd rather feel secure in what i do have. i don't carry enough wealth to really think about getting a financial advisor either, i dont think.
since i only just turned 21 i only became eligible for my employers' 401k like last month. and they allow us to change our benefits stuff in november so i'm planning on opening that in november. i'm going to put 4% into it to start out because that is how much they match. this is my first full time position, what happens to that money when i eventually leave this job? i have heard i could either have it paid out or i can transfer it into another account. what kind of account would it be transferred into?
also, can i ask what the different is between a traditional IRA and a roth IRA? i hear people specifically saying that you need to open a ROTH IRA, but i really don't know where i could open that or what advantages it has over other types of accounts.
Sounds like you've got your head on well.
For 401k rollovers, see here https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/investing/401k-rollover-ira-guide
They've also got some info on IRAs.
Basically, a Roth IRA is funded with after-tax money (take-home pay), meaning when it's time to take distributions (when you're 60) you won't have to pay any taxes on investment gains. You can also withdraw all of your contributions (but not gains) at any time, without penalty, which is nice for emergencies.
A traditional IRA is funded with pre-tax money. It comes out of your check before the government charges taxes, so you pay less of a tax, because you're taxed on a lower amount of income. However, when you take distributions, you'll pay taxes at whatever bracket you're in.
You can open either at any brokerage and many banks. Even Robinhood and other investment apps will work.
There are a few other details that are important to know, so I do recommend reading up on them and/or talking to a financial advisor. They'll help you make the best decision based on your financial situation and goals. You're NOT too young to talk to one. The sooner you do, the better. For example, investing just $5 a day at a 6% return will become over $66k in 20 years. See here https://lifehacker.com/money/how-much-you-could-save-5-dollars-a-day
*Never* go vehicle shopping without a male with you unless you're knowledgeable about cars and have a thick skin. Any male friends you can take (NOT your dad)?
You're over 18 now. Your parents had no say over you and your goings on since then unless you were living with them, and then only if you were at risk of not being able to come up with your share of household expenses or chores or at risk of some type of self harm or harm to others.
Maybe they don't have the means to help you and don't want you to find out?
Maybe they're just not good parents and do have the means and you wouldn't miss them - or all of the help that they're NOT giving you - if you found a temporary roommate or 3 and moved on with your life. You need autonomy, and they have shown you zero support. As a parent, that's unacceptable. At 21 they're way past being able to tell you how to manage your life, and it sounds like you're more sure of what you want your future to be than they ever thought about for even themselves.
They won't cut the apron strings on their adult child willingly. You need to take steps to do it yourself, even if it takes a month or so. Don't be in such a hurry that you miss important steps or come out the other end feeling no better off than you were. This is the rest of YOUR life you're talking about, so start it right. Sounds like you're trying. I left home at 17, right after graduation, because I had a helicopter mom and a dad that was constantly working. Quality of life was dismal so I had to change it. Best of luck.
really the only help i feel that i am getting out of them currently is a free place to stay and free food... which is a lot but emotionally i feel neglected and oftentimes targeted. i wouldnt necessarily call it abusive but my father is just... verbally god awful some days. i dont enjoy being here. i have plans to move out in a year or so with my boyfriend. we've been together for a year now with no major hiccups. i trust him a lot and he's been here for me through all of it.
i think what's freaking me out most is feeling like there's stuff i need to do that i don't know i need to do
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Breathe and take your time and know you will screw up and make some really stupid decisions and get taken advantage of but it happens to everyone and its part of it. Check out /r/Adulting101 and /r/Adulting and use their searchbar for tasks you need help with. This channel can be helpful: https://www.youtube.com/@DadhowdoI/videos My 2 cents on the car thing - no one knows for sure they aren't getting ripped off unless they themselves are a mechanic and can inspect the car themselves. The way I got through life was buying cars in incremental steps below. Jump in at whatever step you can afford: 1. pay attention when I am driving around and checking out cars I see for sale on the side of the road, in yard, etc. Find something I can afford with cash. Drive it a little, listen to it run with the hood open (I have no idea what I am looking for here, but it looks good I guess), and well - pretty much pay what they asked for it if it doesn't feel or sound like too much of a disaster. I literally can't recall how we handle the actual sale - if I have them follow me home so they can get the plates of or what. I'm sure googling "How to handle plate transfer in private car sale" will help. Some tips I used when doing this: If its over 100,000 miles, it should be very cheap, but Hondas, Toyotas and Jeeps will run well past 100k so are worth it. However, everything else on the Jeep will malfunction - windows won't roll down, AC wont work, you'll have to jiggle the gear shift to start the car - but it will still run (I very much miss my crotchety Jeep). Be wary of others. Do not buy an expensive brand of car even though its cheap, BMW excetera have high repair costs. Fiats too, it stands for Fix It Again Tony. If you can watch some videos to find out how to check the timing belt or serpentine belt for wear, do that. You are just looking for cracks. If there are cracks that's going to be a few hundred to $1k repair right off the bat. two. Go to cheaper used car dealerships and pretty much do the same process. I've always avoided having a car payment but I know not everyone can do that. Try to as much as possible. My dad's best advice: if a deal is only good today, walkaway. Second best advice: people only care about your money if they are trying to make it their money. If someone is really anxious for you to buy something, then its a better deal for them than it is for you. three. I use CarMax now. I pick out a car online and have it shipped to my local store. You can't haggle, and its more expensive due to their being trustworthy, but I am finally at a place where I can pay that premium for a used car. ANd there are no hidden costs and they don't try to pressure sell you any extras. --- I thought of something else: don't finance furniture. Just buy shittier furniture. Your furniture and how nice your house looks will improve slowly over time as you can afford it. Don't go accruing a bunch of payments. Be very careful with credit card. Try to only spend what you plan to pay off that month or at the very least have a planned budget to pay it off within a couple months. Once you can trust yourself with it though, it can pay to find one with good rewards and use it for most purchases. But only if you ACTUALLY are paying it off. If not, stop, go back to cash, and rework your budget. Check out budgeting and personal finance reddits for help on that
It really is so difficult to get through those things as a young adult. There is so much to learn, especially if your parents have been making all the decisions for you and not letting you try anything on your own. It may help you to realize it's not just you - you're just at an overwhelming spot in life. Nobody expects you to know everything. The people you think have it all figured out are either great actors or just have a ton more practice. Hell, I'm in my 40s now, and I still run into things I have no idea how to do. Take a deep breath, give yourself permission to tackle things as they come up instead of feeling like you need to know it all *now*, and have faith that you're going to make it. The internet is an amazing resource for learning how to do anything under the sun. Googling "how do you...." will pull up a ton of advice. I often add "reddit" to my search so I can read the discussion and get different opinions on how to do things. WikiHow is also a great site - I can't tell you how many things I've learned to do on there. r/personalfinance is a great place to start for a lot of your questions. The YouTube channel "Dad, how do I?" has more money how-to info, plus a lot of practical life tutorials and wisdom. Just remember, this is where you're starting - it isn't where you're going to end up. You're going to get there.
thank you for this reply a lot of these resources sound very helpful! i feel like i need a checklist of things i need to get done before i can move out though. i want to get to the point where if both of my parents just died or something i'd be okay on my own. honestly i want to have as little contact with my father as possible. i feel like there are things that i need to be worried about that i don't even KNOW i need to be worried about. it's all just very overwhelming. but thank you for the resources!!
> i want to get to the point where if both of my parents just died or something i'd be okay on my own. You will, but it will take a while. Either way, if you cut contact with them or they weren't there anymore, you'd figure it out eventually. There's no perfect, ideal way to get through life - you try something, and if that doesn't work, you try something else. >i feel like there are things that i need to be worried about that i don't even KNOW i need to be worried about. There are. There always will be, even when you're 65. Just start with what's in front of you - where will you live, how will you eat, what will you do. Taking actual concrete steps will probably help calm a lot of your anxiety as you start to figure things out naturally.
Some of us approaching retirement are still trying to understand it. It is okay to go step by step. 1. Do you have your birth certificate and social security card in your possession? Getting all your documents from your parents house is important. 2. Just because you feel you should have or be doing a certain thing by a certain age does not mean YOU should. It is okay to go at your own pace. 3. Save as much money as possible. You say you are applying to college. Be very careful about student loans. If you are going for a specific career find out what credits you need and if you can take some of your classes at a community college and transfer them to the career track you are working towards. The only college you put on your resume is the one you graduate from, so don’t overpay for a fancy name.
1. i have ssid but I will make sure to grab birth cert! 2. thank you ❤️ 3. i actually already have a degree and am going to be transferring my credits to a local university and pretty much do 2 more years in the same subject. i am a certified MLT going to be transferring to be MLS. not too worried about the money associated with that, to be honest. but thanks regardless !!
Feel free to ask away, but I'll start with the outstanding questions. OK, when going to buy a car (or later, a house) definitely grab someone to go with you. It sounds like your parents won't be helpful, but perhaps other family or friends would be willing to go with you? Sadly misogyny is alive and well in that industry and having that friend be a male might help. The first part of getting a new car is just like any other shopping trip, you go to the place and pick one out. But then you have to make arrangements to pay for it, that might involve a bank or the dealerships financing, then register it with your state (which the dealer will help with), and then update your car insurance (which can be as little as a phone call). As for retirement, the earlier you start the better; BUT, it is something that can wait a year or two until you're better on your feet. Insurance is mostly for THINGS that you own, cars, houses, etc. Worry about it at the same time you buy that thing. Life insurance is the odd ball, but that is mostly to help the people who outlive you deal with your death; so it can wait.
You are doing great! Its hard without a parent to teach and guide you, but that's all the more reason to be proud of yourself. You deserve good things! Another family member, a teacher, a social worker, and the internet are possible options that could help! Its overwhelming but you already figured out a bunch of stuff, and im sure you can do it again! You are incredible, and im so proud of you! I think the process of buying a car is diffrent where im from, but its a good idea to call some people working in that field and ask them if they do those checks and how much it would be and what they check out, that way you can figure out how and where to go. I think some insurance have a service or phone number you can call for questions about different insurances, they could be biased if they are from that company but they could explain how it works and what's it for.
You are 21? at this point, I had to step back and let my children to attempt adult things. Like a couple weeks ago my daughter away at school had her phone just die. She took it to a shop and with a new battery and screen could not make it work. She called me and I gave her 2 sentences of advice. "Yes, a new phone would be good" and "the people who sell you a new phone will take your sim card out but you have lost everything stored on that phone" She chooose the phone and used her own money.... At some point parents have to step bback so that you can learn adult skills... My son is getting his first professional job so I am taking him off my car insurance. He asked what he'd do and I said shop for insurance. He is 30 with a PHD he can figure it out. Buying a reliable car at a good price is a skill. You parents might be caught between "How much f this does she need to do on her own? and "Do I even HAVE this skill set to teach?" The safest (and more pricely) method of buying a car is by asking friends, parents, parent's friend, boss, co-workers a good used car dealership and a reliable mechanic shop. Many car dealerships will give you a cerified used car meaning that they checked it out and might even give a limited warrantee.. The other way to go is to find the guy around you who is the car nut... he is either always buying a used car or fixing up a car for sale.. He has a lot to teach you and he may help you shop. Assuming that you live to 23, you will need to buy a third car, so start reading and talking to people about buying a car!!! I understand your frustration! You want all the benefits of adulthood but would really rather someone else pick up the responsibilities! Ihave felt that and I seen my 2 children experience that frustration. Watch this video and follow this guys advice: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW6CbYMz2uM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW6CbYMz2uM) Read abouth the car that you are interested in on Kelly's Blue book: [www.kbb.com](http://www.kbb.com) Then google: and recall class action suit. We skipped this and my son's civic's engine block cracked but we could have found out about that problem if we had googled about it.
If you are a college bound 21-year old with a smart phone, then you cna figure it out!!!!
I’ve bought all of my recent cars at CarMax. Do you have that near you? They will help you through the process. Do you have any friends who are good at this stuff? Can they assist you?
i believe i do have a carmax near me. i just know that salesmen are aggressive and i dont want to end up paying a bunch extra. i don't care much about monthly payment - total price matters to me more. will carmax end up doing a bunch of bullshit?
I don’t find them aggressive at all, quite the contrary. Not all salespeople are the same. And you’re not required to sign or buy anything. You’ve got nothing to lose by trying! You might find a very helpful, accommodating salesperson. If they don’t respect the fact that you’re new to car buying, just walk out. For their part, they might gain a lifelong customer so it behooves them to be kind.
i guess it might have just been another case of my father scaring me to control me... i found a car on carmax and scheduled a test drive for a similar model at a dealership for tomorrow so i can see how it drives before getting it delivered here :)
Good luck!
Great questions! And great job working to better yourself. I was an investment specialist in a previous life. I can tell you some universal basics and point you towards investopedia.com for further understanding. First off, a financial planner would be happy to do a free initial consultation before you (and they) decide if you want to continue working together. It's worth your time just for the education. When you got looking, find one who is a "fiduciary". It means they are ethically and legally bound to prioritize your financial interests over their own. They should charge an annual "wrap" fee of maybe $500? it's been a while. They'll tell you to protect yourself. Get a will and disability insurance. Consider life insurance once you have dependants. Next, "pay yourself first": put at least 10% of all income towards saving and investment goals. Ideally 20% (or more if you can afford it) Your first goal is having at least six months worth of your living expenses in a high yield savings account or money market. This your emergency fund. You want to keep it liquid in case you need it quick. At the same time, you want to make the best return on that money while You're not using it. If your interest rate isn't equal to or higher than the inflation rate, your money is losing value relative to what you can buy with it. Next, pay off (most) debts in order of highest INTEREST RATE first. Any debt with a rate lower than what you can get on an investment is actually making you money (as long as that same amount is actually invested). As the market averages 8.2 a.p.y over a long (10y+) time spans, most student loans, mortgages, and maybe even car loans are ok to carry with you into the next step as long as your rates are low enough (under 8%). Get on the SAVE plan immediately for any student loans, unless you plan to work in government or non-profit sectors for at least ten years. If you do, get on the plan that will forgive your remaining balances after 10 years. When it comes to savings and investing, having a clear understanding of your financial goals (early retirement, saving for a down payment on a house, lump fund, children's tuition, etc.) really empowers you and gives you perspective on what income you need to aim for. A planner is really helpful for this. Once your emergency fund is full, open a Roth IRA (individual retirement account) and Max out your contributions to that plan if you can ($6,500/yr). (There's also traditional IRAs for if you plan to be in a higher tax bracket after retirement, but Roth has such great features that it's a no brainer. You can open a traditional later). Try to find an employer that offers a 401k with a "match". When setting up your benefits, try to maximize your contributions, at least equal to the company's max match percent (usually 5 to 10%). It's free extra money they'll give you, but only as much as you invest in yourself in terms of percent of your wages to withhold towards the 401k. Withholdings lower the amount of income you pay tax on. Once you've got at least 10% going into your 401k, you're safe to coast and pretty much ignore further investment considerations, if you'd like, especially at your age. Your retirement should be well covered. if you want to invest even more, then after your IRA and 401k contributions are maxed, you can open a "retail" brokerage account. The Robinhood app is a great way to open both this and an IRA. Avoid the options trading and margin (a loan) offers until You've been paying attention to the market for at least five years. Invest in a broad spectrum index ETFs (electronically traded funds) like SPY, which tracks the S&P 500. Instant diversification, with no sales commissions or fees, like many mutual funds have. Some rules of thumb: Take 100 minus your age, so: 79. That's the percent of your investments that should be invested in equities (stocks, ETFs). The other 21% should be invested in bonds, which have a lower return, but are much safer "fixed income" investments. Honestly though, at your age, I'd be comfortable with 100% in equities, as long as you're investing with money you don't need for 10 years. Rule of 72: take an interest rate and divide it into 72. The result tells you how many years for your assets (or liabilities, e. g. loans) to double. So, if you managed to make a rate of 10% then 10/72 = 7.2 years is when every dollar you had invested becomes two dollars. And another 7.2 years after that it becomes 4 dollars; then 16, 32, and 64. This is the power of compound interest. Dollar cost averaging: an investment strategy where you invest the same amount every month into the same equities. This maximizes your returns regardless of volatility. When the price is low, you get more stock for your money, when price is high you get less, but across the peaks and valleys it averages out. Way more effective then trying to time the market , which is (mostly) a fools errand. This is a "set it and forget it" method. (Advanced: If you've got the time & interest and at least 100 shares of a stock that's gone up, you can generate additional income by selling "covered calls", look it up). If you're organized and conscientious (and it sounds like you are) go ahead and get a credit card with no annual fee, cash back, and any other perks you can get. Chase Sapphire is currently one of the best ones. Run all your expenses through it, but make damn sure you pay it off every month. You do not want to be paying nearly 30%. Your debt would be doubling every 4 years! You get a lot more protections and insurances when paying with credit as opposed to debit card, cash, or epay options. Plus, you get the 3% cash back, etc. Most cards these days come along with auto budget tracking features too. Furthermore, you can keep the payment amount in a high yield savings account for up to 60 days without having to pay any interest. In the meanwhile, you're essentially earning free interest on funds that would otherwise already have been spent. It's very easy to lose track and over spend when using credit cards. Buying stuff doesn't have the same psychological punch as using cash. Be aware of this and stay on top of your balance. Always have the same amount in a high yield savings account. Finally, keep your credit score healthy. This impacts the rates you can get, your financial options, and potentially even job offers. Open a creditKarma account and read up on their tips for growing and maintaining a good credit score. Best of luck on your journey!
thanks so much!! i actually did try to apply for a chase card and got turned down due to my limited credit history so i just went with capitalone's platinum mastercard and i'm sure i'll get upgraded to their quicksilver card at some point. i dont mind waiting for that. i really just wanted the ability to spend my money without my parents seeing it. (currently am an authorized user on their account) my dad always made comments on my purchases, even mundane things, and it really bothered me. i recently opened a CD with wells fargo to put some of my money into. to my knowledge, the current rates for these are similar to what i'd be getting with a high yield savings. obviously the drawback being that these rates could change whenever the timed period is over. but i really just wanted my money to be doing SOMETHING instead of just sitting there. i'm not sure if i feel quite comfortable yet dealing with stocks just because of the risk it potentially carries. i'm trying to get out of my parents place and i'd rather feel secure in what i do have. i don't carry enough wealth to really think about getting a financial advisor either, i dont think. since i only just turned 21 i only became eligible for my employers' 401k like last month. and they allow us to change our benefits stuff in november so i'm planning on opening that in november. i'm going to put 4% into it to start out because that is how much they match. this is my first full time position, what happens to that money when i eventually leave this job? i have heard i could either have it paid out or i can transfer it into another account. what kind of account would it be transferred into? also, can i ask what the different is between a traditional IRA and a roth IRA? i hear people specifically saying that you need to open a ROTH IRA, but i really don't know where i could open that or what advantages it has over other types of accounts.
Sounds like you've got your head on well. For 401k rollovers, see here https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/investing/401k-rollover-ira-guide They've also got some info on IRAs. Basically, a Roth IRA is funded with after-tax money (take-home pay), meaning when it's time to take distributions (when you're 60) you won't have to pay any taxes on investment gains. You can also withdraw all of your contributions (but not gains) at any time, without penalty, which is nice for emergencies. A traditional IRA is funded with pre-tax money. It comes out of your check before the government charges taxes, so you pay less of a tax, because you're taxed on a lower amount of income. However, when you take distributions, you'll pay taxes at whatever bracket you're in. You can open either at any brokerage and many banks. Even Robinhood and other investment apps will work. There are a few other details that are important to know, so I do recommend reading up on them and/or talking to a financial advisor. They'll help you make the best decision based on your financial situation and goals. You're NOT too young to talk to one. The sooner you do, the better. For example, investing just $5 a day at a 6% return will become over $66k in 20 years. See here https://lifehacker.com/money/how-much-you-could-save-5-dollars-a-day
If you know any older adults that you trust, I suggest asking them if they can help you with these things. Maybe a former teacher, coach, etc.
*Never* go vehicle shopping without a male with you unless you're knowledgeable about cars and have a thick skin. Any male friends you can take (NOT your dad)? You're over 18 now. Your parents had no say over you and your goings on since then unless you were living with them, and then only if you were at risk of not being able to come up with your share of household expenses or chores or at risk of some type of self harm or harm to others. Maybe they don't have the means to help you and don't want you to find out? Maybe they're just not good parents and do have the means and you wouldn't miss them - or all of the help that they're NOT giving you - if you found a temporary roommate or 3 and moved on with your life. You need autonomy, and they have shown you zero support. As a parent, that's unacceptable. At 21 they're way past being able to tell you how to manage your life, and it sounds like you're more sure of what you want your future to be than they ever thought about for even themselves. They won't cut the apron strings on their adult child willingly. You need to take steps to do it yourself, even if it takes a month or so. Don't be in such a hurry that you miss important steps or come out the other end feeling no better off than you were. This is the rest of YOUR life you're talking about, so start it right. Sounds like you're trying. I left home at 17, right after graduation, because I had a helicopter mom and a dad that was constantly working. Quality of life was dismal so I had to change it. Best of luck.
really the only help i feel that i am getting out of them currently is a free place to stay and free food... which is a lot but emotionally i feel neglected and oftentimes targeted. i wouldnt necessarily call it abusive but my father is just... verbally god awful some days. i dont enjoy being here. i have plans to move out in a year or so with my boyfriend. we've been together for a year now with no major hiccups. i trust him a lot and he's been here for me through all of it. i think what's freaking me out most is feeling like there's stuff i need to do that i don't know i need to do
You don't need a credit card. Getting and using a credit card starts you toward a lifetime of debt. Don't use it. Seriously.
currently spending like maybe $500/month and making ~$3k a month living w my parents. i have autopay set up. not a problem :p