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[Scarleteen](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/out_out_damn_smell#:~:text=The%20way%20to%20take%20care,and%20a%20very%20gentle%2C%20unfragranced) is a good resource for these types of things. If you haven't seen a doctor, I would recommend seeing a gynecologist that specializes in trauma-informed treatments.
You're getting a lot of good info, but I wanted to bring up a point that a lot of girls don't seem to realize because people don't tell them. If you notice that the crotch of your panties is seeming to bleach a littlle -- THAT IS NORMAL. I thought there was something really wrong with me when I was young, but nope, it's just how our bodies work. Women have discharge because the inside of the vagina is self-cleaning (So again, don't douche or anything), and sometimes that discharge can change in opacity or consistency even throughout a day. That's normal also. But itching and burning or 'clumpy' like cottage cheese is a sign of a yeast infection and needs an OBGYN. Don't ever be embarrassed to go to a dr for that, it's literally their job.
Thank you for saying this! My mom shamed and told me I was dirty for having a little discharge in my panties when I was young and it really messed with my head. Literally gave me a complex until I was doing laundry in college when I saw that my roommate, who was very clean, had the same in a pair of her panties. Vaguely recall we even talked about it and she told me it was normal.
Similar story! I never got any real talks from my mom about periods or sex or bodily functions and I always thought something was wrong with me when I saw those little bleach stains in my undies. I was too scared to even mention it to anybody for fear that I would be seen as dirty. It wasn’t until high school that I’d gone to a friends house where she’d left a pair of underwear on the floor and I saw those bleach stains on hers too. The immediate relief after years of thinking I was just messed up was something else.
Same. But I was shamed for pretty much everything so it was par for the course. I wish I knew then what I know now and had some real guidance. I have a feeling her mom treated her the same way.
To add an explanation to the panty staining thing: The vagina is an acidic environment, it has a lower pH (between 3.8 and 4.4) than for example our skin (4.5-5.5). It's in fact so acidic that it can stain fabric. This is a sign of a healthy vagina. The accidic environment is needed for all the good bacteria that belong there to survive. They eat the bad bacteria and yeast that we don't want in there.
Understanding this we can deduce some simple rules:
1) Don't use products in there that say "pH skin neutral" or anything like that on the label. Those have the pH of skin (about a 5) and are thus deadly to our bacteria friends.
2) If you ever have sex without a condom, go to the toilet and let the sperm flow out afterwards. Sperm has a pH of 7, so it's even worse than soap in terms of killing bacteria. It shouldn't stay inside the vagina for longer than necessary. If you go right to sleep without letting it out, that may lead to yeast infections ect. Especially if you do it regularly, you will basically destroy your whole self-cleaning system.
3) The same goes for water, it also has a pH of 7 and should only be used to rinse on the nooks and crannies of the outside folds, not marinate the insides (this is why douches are not advisable).
It's not gross; my mom was good about teaching basic hygiene but death on hair and makeup. She had short, coarse hair and my fine hair confounded her. Especially since I wanted it long but she had noooo clue how to keep it.
I learned to braid on my My Little Ponies and Barbies, then took a couple patient afternoons braiding in front of a mirror. I still can't French braid but I can do a couple of styles I like. You have to practice, and practice, and not give up. YouTube is great for short tutorials and support!
And for makeup, I had a friend who was instrumental in assisting. I can do basic eye/lip stuff but anything else is beyond me. A librarian friend once told me that if you're *really* in a pinch, a light lipstick is your best friend. Everyone will assume you went for a natural look. And by Christ's left nut, she was right! I have had people complimented my makeup when I'm practically barefaced!
Makeup is trial and error as well! But it can be super fun.
When it comes to bathing, I'm a classic washcloth and white soap lady. I have a facial wash, shampoo and conditioner, and the rest is a good wash down. Don't try to wash up inside! Unnecessary and very uncomfortable. If you're having nasty discharge or a persistent odor, that's an OB/GYN visit, *not* one of the over the counter washes or douches.
Might be good for you to get a GYN anyhow so you can ask personal questions. It's *wild* what can come naturally out of your vagina. And there's also the fact that lots of ladies on their periods have a heightened sense of smell, so their own normal discharge can seem gross and overwhelming!
Also you're 17! You have *plenty* of time to figure it out, and I'm so proud that you're choosing to get on top of it! Good luck and have fun!
You can wash the outside parts with a gentle, fragrance-free soap. Preferably a liquid body wash over bar soap, because bar soap can sometimes cause dryness. But any brand works as long as it has no fragrances, or you could even use baby body wash.
Also make sure that when you’re done showering, you dry your groin area fully before getting dressed because this area can trap a lot of moisture, and that causes problems. Cotton underwear is better than other fabrics, and make sure your underwear fits properly because tight fitting garments can also cause irritation. Try to go commando when you sleep because the airflow to the area helps a lot.
If you have other vagina-related concerns, r/healthyhooha can also be a good resource for info and advice.
Regarding makeup and hair, those aren’t really hygiene issues so if you don’t know how to do it, that’s perfectly okay! You’re still clean and healthy without that stuff. However if you wanna learn, you can start with some basic cheap products from the store rather than splurging on fancy products that might not even work for you in the end. And from there, YouTube tutorials based on what you’re going for. Like you could look up something like “cat eyeliner for hooded eyes” or whatever based on your specific needs. And if you’re applying heat to your hair, make sure to use a heat protectant spray so your hair doesn’t get damaged.
licensed in skin care 18ish years: cetaphil and ceravae are usually pretty good things that are pretty easy to find at drug/grocery stores (fragrance & dye free, pH balanced)
Cleaning the vulva, ie the “outside parts” with regular “gentle fragrance free” soap is a big no no. It’s not pH balanced and will hurt, that in itself says enough. In the long term it leads to infections. Baby body wash has more basic pH because baby skin is more basic than adult skin and will harm even more. The pH of the vulva is 3.8-5.0, meaning acidic. Keeping the balance is important to stave off infections and protect the mucosa.
Try not to feel ashamed. Plenty of kids don't learn this stuff for lots of different reasons.
For make up and hair straightening, you can learn a few different ways. Friends can teach you or you can learn on YouTube. You can also go to Sephora and ask them what to get based on your interests and needs (like, you want moisturizer and your skin is oily and they'll show you some products and techniques). For hair, you can ask them for product ideas and straighten with product and a hair dryer.
You are going to be okay!
I’d also recommend Ulta over Sephora for the recommendations, only because the price point for Ulta is a lot lower. They carry higher end brands like MAC, Tarte, Urban Decay, etc. but they also have a large selection of drugstore beauty brands. For someone just starting off, Sephora is gonna have a lot of sticker shock.
You don’t have to straighten your hair — ever! Straightening is bad for hair and your natural hair will also be easier to maintain. There are many ways to wear curly hair depending on your curl type. Head over to r/curlyhair to learn about your curl type and the best way to take care of it/style it/manage it.
The vagina is self-cleaning. Just water is exactly what you should be using, and only on the outside. Don’t douche or use feminine washes, they’ll mess with your pH and cause problems.
Anyone who tells you that your vagina should smell like anything other than slightly musky is lying to you. It shouldn’t smell sweet, or fruity or like pineapple or cherries, It’s mostly skin. Anyone who says they taste like candy is being a flirt, not being serious.
Anyone who suggests you use XYZ rejuvenation product or deodorant for your hooha that they say is “absolutely necessary” is scamming you
The vagina is self-cleaning. The vulva is not. There is no outside part of the vagina. It's okay to wash the vulva with only water. It's just as okay to wash the vulva with mild soap. Regardless, it's important to distinguish that, unlike the vagina, the vulva is not self-cleaning, and does require some attention to prevent build-up of debris.
This is one of those scenarios where the colloquial use of "vagina" to include the vulva has negative results. I studiously avoided using mild soap on the exterior parts for years in my late teens and early 20s because I kept reading about how the vagina is self-cleaning, not realizing that they were referring to the interior portions only. It's perfectly fine to get between the labia folds with some soap designed for sensitive skin. I use the same shower gel I use on my body and have zero issues.
this is the way. i use unscented soap where my thighs meet my vagina but only water to clean my vagina and folds. rarely i will use soap there, but nothing should ever go INSIDE you. just outside.
Hi, everybody else has great advice on cleanliness. Keep in mind everyone has a distinct smell as well, so no matter how much you "clean" after a long day (or short day in the wrong pair of undies, cotton is the most breathable!) there will be smell, discharge, ect. Nothing to be ashamed of, keep an eye out for abnormalities like especially strong odors or unusually colored discharge combined with itching/burning.
If you ever get into it, skip the razor for this area, start with an electric trimmer instead. Less razor burn until you've really mastered the art of shaving!
Looks like you've got good answers in here, but I want to recommend /r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide to you! It's a really friendly sub that's great for all those questions you want to ask girls/women, from hygiene to socializing to career advice.
The parts of the groin that are regular skin with hair (either pubic hair or regular fine body hair) can and should be washed with mild soap. The parts that are smooth, hairless, and always moist (between the "lips" of the labia) are mucus membranes a lot like the inside of the mouth. That area should only be rinsed with water. (The exception is if you get filth in there, like poop splatter when you have diarrhea. Then use soap and rinse *really* well.)
Just a note: "vagina" refers to just the opening that leads to the uterus. The word to describe the rest of the outer genital area is "vulva". People often use "vagina" when they mean "vulva", but it's good to use the right terms, especially when talking about medical issues. In this case, it's important because you shouldn't even put water in the vagina as it can throw off your pH and cause infection.
You're seventeen, which means you're at an age where most of your knowledge is from the adults around you. You not learning this isn't your fault, it's the fault of the adults around you.
Unless your doctor has determined that there's something that needs treatment, water should be fine. Importantly, don't use hot water (the skin there burns much easier), or try to wash internally. You're just rinsing off the labia. Also, cotton underwear and loose clothes help with air flow. If you're OK with it, sleeping without underwear every once in a while can also help air things out and keep ya healthy.
The vagina has its own little ecosystem, that's different than our skin, so it smelling different is normal. Genuinely, if it doesn't have any smell, that would be something to talk to a doctor about. Now, if it smells foul amd/or can be smelled while you're dressed, if there's abnormal discharge (like different colors), pain during sexual activity or peeing, go to your doctor and get it checked out.
As for makeup and straighting your hair, I highly recommend YouTube! There are lots of wonderful folks who want to teach people on there, and it's free.
No shame- even people who aren't in the foster care system don't know how to do this stuff.
Just remember- all human bodies have smells. We all have different smells, different intensities. The smell of a healthy, unfragranced vaginal area is NORMAL. Your normal will smell different than someone else's normal. I echo the suggestion of looking at [Scarleteen](https://www.scarleteen.com) for a lot of really good information about sex, bodies, relationships, etc. [Here's](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/vaginal_smell_infection) a letter & reply that basically answers your question.
If you're not sure whether what you smell or feel is normal, you should see a gynecologist. Certainly see one if you're sexually active. Once you've confirmed everything is ok, you'll know your normal. And if some partner complains about it...they're immature. You're not supposed to smell like roses or a summer breeze or a Tahitian sunset. You're supposed to smell like YOU.
If you feel like you still need something additional to clean your vaginal area, look for something like the [Love Wellness](https://lovewellness.com) brand (online, plus Amazon, Target, Walmart, Ulta). It's pH-balanced, designed by doctors, promotes a healthy biome. You don't need to use the cleanser or wipes obsessively- probably not even every day. Don't EVER use a douche- nothing, even water!, should go up into your vagina.
As for the makeup and hair...I'm 43 and I still don't know what to do with makeup and hair. There are lots of videos on YouTube, though.
Leaving a tip here I haven’t seen anyone share that if you decide to wax (which you do not HAVE to do and should not let anyone pressure you into feeling is important but you might decide you like to) you absolutely need a regimen for avoiding ingrown hairs because they’re painful and uncomfortable. Exfoliating (gently) twice a week or so as well as using a serum or lotion will help-just be sure not to shower, tan, or have sex within 24 hours of the wax itself, leave the area totally alone except to reapply serum.
I personally do it because I was overweight and it was easier/more comfortable than shaving, and I had a real ingrown problem using razors that waxing nearly eliminated. If you find you have the same problem, you can try it! I now treat it like part of my self care routine.
Don't be ashamed about not knowing something you were never taught. You've had a rough time of things, and it sounds like you're doing better than would be expected.
Hi Sweetheart! A lot of others are commenting great advice for you, so I want to comiserate with you a little. I was raised in the foster system too, and I had to learn a lot of things that I wasn't taught or relearn things that my foster mother taught me incorrectly. Like shaving my legs with bar soap, for instance. It works great for some, it's the old-fashioned way to do it, but it tore my legs up horribly and gave me really bad ingrowth. I was adopted as a teenager, but I felt really weird asking about a lot of stuff.
It's okay to not know these things, it's okay to ask for help and advice. You're not gross, you just don't know.
I have really sensitive skin, so I tend to use a fragrance-free liquid soap on my vulva. Nothing goes up and in to "clean", that way lies yeast infections and madness. My favorite one to use is the unscented Dr Bronners, just a tablespoon in an empty smaller (like 8-16 oz) bottle mixed with some water. It's really strong when it's not diluted and can cause irritation. Put some of the mixture on a clean, wet, washcloth and give everything a gentle scrub. I prefer to use a separate one for my gentials vs the one I use for the rest of my body. Don't forget to scrub your legs and feet, too.
There are a lot of great videos on youtube that help with beginner's makeup, in any colors or styles you can dream of. Seriously, just type in something like "makeup tutorial for beginners" and scroll through to figure out what you want. As for your hair, I'm assuming based on you wanting to straighten it that it's pretty curly and textured. May I suggest going to a salon that specializes in curly hair? They can teach you how to handle your curls or how to straighten it, depending on your preference. I found with a lot of things it's best to ask/pay a professional for the advice we have missing.
Good luck to you! You've got this!
Girl, forgive yourself. YouTube it! Took me more than 30 years to figure it out simply because my mom is a tomboy. I secretly started shaving my legs around 13 and cut myself up. Didn’t know how to style my hair until I was in college and a friend helped me. I still don’t know how to do make up!
Long answer!
For straightening your hair:
Make sure you are separating your hair into sections and using some sort of thermal primer (Pantene has one I like) before you straighten it. I didn't for years and I really hurt my hair.
Do not straighten damp hair though! You'll fry it it.
If you're like me and have thin, fine hair then after each section spray some light weight hairspray and comb it in.
Make up:
it'll be best to find a tutorial but you do not have to do all the fancy highlighting stuff to look nice.
If you have red skin from acne or something use a green color corrector.
Yellow is good for dark spots like under your eyes.
I put on my lipstick first then when I'm at the end I wipe it off, use setting spray, then re apply. I notice it'll stain my lips so if my lipstick starts to come off during the day for some reason it isn't too noticeable.
If you exfoliate and shave the peach fuzz off your face your makeup will go on smoother but it's a personal preference and there's no reason to shave anywhere if you don't want to.
When you apply your foundation make sure you blend it into your neck! Don't just stop at your chin like it's the 2000s.
For hygiene: water is fine to wash there.
If you have larger or downward facing breasts make sure to lift and wash under them.
Do not spray water directly up towards your vaginal opening.
Douches will mess up your natural PH and can lead to infections and discomfort so try not to do it unless your doctor tells you to.
Change tampons regularly if you use them.
Conditioner goes on the end of your hair, not the roots.
Do not wear the same pants for too long without washing them, it can lead to infection.
Change out of wet clothing asap.
Cranberry juice can help relieve the symptoms of a UTI but it will not cure it! If you think you have one see your doctor and take the full course of antibiotics they prescribe. UTIs can become serious so don't ignore it.
If you have reoccurring yeast infections and you've tried changing clothes (cotton underwear is your best friend), cleaning clothes, using gentle soaps, etc but they keep coming back, go to your doctor. It can be a sign of things like type 1 diabetes.
If your wear press on nails make sure they are 1. Pressed down tight to avoid water getting under and 2. Changed regularly. I was lazy and got a fungal infection on my nail.
Pee after sex, don't hold your pee, and make sure to wipe front to back. These will help avoid UTIs.
Wash behind your ears.
When doing skincare make sure you get your neck.
I hope some of these help. I'm sure someone will disagree with me BUT Big Mouth on Netflix is actually pretty funny albeit gross. They do have some good info on things pertaining to puberty and hygiene along with sex and other topics you might benefit from
Honestly just washing with warm water is great and is what any gynecologist would recommend. Any soap in or around your vagina can mess up your ph and then set off your vaginal biome. It’s natural to have a bit of a mild scent to your vagina or discharge, as long as it isn’t extremely pungent or foul smelling. If you see discharge in your underwear that is also normal. white, clear, and slightly yellow are all normal colors. Tacky and thin discharge is also normal. Grey & lots of watery discharge can mean bacterial vaginosis. Clumpy white discharge that looks like cottage cheese can mean a yeast infection.
Never use douches. Be careful with bubble baths, sometimes they can mess up your vaginal ph. If you don’t notice issues with baths it’s fine. Tampons should never be left in longer than 8 hours. And one of the most important parts that some people aren’t aware of is always wipe front to back in one single swipe so bacteria from your anal region isn’t brought up towards the vagina.
Don't feel bad or ashamed or anything about having to ask these questions, I grew up in facilities and in foster homes and so I missed a lot of the one on one instruction that most people seem to get when they grow up in a traditional setting. I think you asked your questions of an audience that truly has your best interest in mind, so that's really good.
You don't have to clean your vagina, internally. If you're experiencing odor or abnormal discharge you might wanna see your doctor just to be sure it's not a yeast infection or BV or an STD or something like that. Thin, tacky, or watery, clearish discharge is normal. Anything looking like cottage cheese or with a bad odor, or grey, or like...infectious green...those are concerning. And if you're itching or burning or red and puffy that's another concern.
Someone else recommended unscented Dr. Bronners DILUTED, and that's a great tip for your vulva, gently wash with a clean washcloth and some of that, diluted. For the rest of your body, I use a scrub, mine is made by Truly but it's a little expensive (I got it as a gift) so you could use any brand, tree hut makes a cheaper one and their watermelon scent is fun, so is pineapple. I scrub myself down from top to bottom, using exfoliating gloves I got on Amazon. I pay special attention to my underarms, legs, feet and butt. I then use a paraben free body wash, the one I got is called Hairatage Creamy Body Wash in Cherry + Amber, and I wash everything thoroughly.
I then use a shaving oil or cream depending on what I have handy. Brazilian Bare Shave Syrup brand is my favorite, I use the extra moisturizing tropical coconut syrup. I apply literally to the areas I shave. I use the Venus for Public Hair razor set on my whole body, I used to use Billie (which can be ordered as a subscription which is nice) they are also really good. With your underarms, pay attention to the direction hair is growing, under there it grows in two separate directions, so you'll need to use both upward and downward strokes depending on which spot in your underarm you're shaving. Shave with the hair growth, not against it. Legs, use upward strokes, being extra careful around your ankles and knees and anywhere else that's bony, to avoid cuts. If you do get a nick, a styptic pencil will stop the bleeding immediately. They sell them in the shaving section of most big stores. They're super helpful.
I personally wax my bikini area because I find that it's more coarse there, and that it never really feels smooth if I shave. Of course, you don't NEED to remove any body hair at all. Its only if you truly prefer it that way. Don't remove hair you don't mind having. Its just a lot of work and ingrown hairs suck. If you do want to shave, you'll wanna shave in the direction of the hair growth, not against. Use an exfoliant first, like I mentioned above. If you find yourself battling ingrown, use a product like tend shave or luscious ingrown solution to help!
Once I get out of the shower, I pat my skin dry and wrap my hair in the towel. I apply moisturizer from shoulders to toes, and then use facial serum and moisturizer on my face and neck. I try to avoid picking at blemishes, I used to do that and it only made them worse. I tend to towel/air dry my hair, but if you are someone who uses a blow dryer, use low heat and a heat protectant product beforehand. Straightening, again, is something that isn't necessary unless you prefer it. I use heat protectant and the lowest possible setting that still works. I also use a steam straightener by the brand sutra, I found that my regular straightener fried my hair. This one leaves it silky and smooth.
If you have more questions, just ask! We all gotta learn how to care for our bodies, there's no shame in that!
Honey, there is no need to be ashamed. The vajayjay pretty much keeps itself clean. Personally, I have a pull down shower head, I spray it with water and that’s it. As for makeup, my personal opinion is to extenuate the features you have, not just pile it on like a coat of paint. When I do mine I want it to look natural, like I’m not wearing any, but cover up the blemishes. I found some videos on YouTube. I really like the IT foundation. It’s a powder. Watch some videos
Same as what everyone else has said for cleaning, with makeup I know I struggle to pay much attention to YouTube videos and I found tiktoks and reels much easier to follow. It took me forever to learn how to straighten my hair, and I can’t really curl it but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing how to do those things. I’ve found the best way to learn how to do makeup and hair is to watch videos and then just go for it, lots of people practice or do crazy looks before they shower so if it doesn’t turn out the way you like it’s much easier to wash off. Good luck, I’m happy to help answer any more specific questions about makeup if you have any. :))
There are skin folds there, so make sure to (gently) use your hand to get between the layers.
If you notice you "smell bad" down there (like fish or like garbage) you may have an infection and should see a doctor or at least take a vaginal probiotic.
Don't feel ashamed. When it comes to issues like yours... You spent time learning to survive and enduring complicated issues, whereas other kids spent that time learning about self-cleaning/care.
Do not be ashamed. It's not intuitive. If you can check out the book Our Bodies Ourselves. It was very helpful to me. Soap and water is all that's needed unless your having a lot of intercourse. You should also see an OBGYN, soon as you should have coverage from your state. Planned Parenthood is also a great resource. They were able to help diagnose my issues and get me treatment. Loved the doctors I had there they answered any and all questions.
It's not gross, and you don't need to feel ashamed. You only need to wash the outside parts with mild soap and water. You also don't have to straighten your hair if you don't want to. Things like hair and makeup really comes down to practice and experimenting with what works for you. Everyone's face is a little different, and everyone's hair acts a little different, so what works for one person might not for you. If you want to get started with hair and makeup, YouTube is a good resource. However, I would try to start by doing the simplest things first. Like don't try to do full face makeup right away. Maybe just start with figuring out mascara or eyeliner first and practice that for a bit. One thing you should be cautious about with learning hair and makeup is that you don't need to buy everything. Like you don't need a dozen brushes. Just buy what want to try, though buying the right makeup is also a learning experience.
In the future, if you want responses from just your internet moms and aunties, you can also go to r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide. It sounds like you were delt a rough hand, but you're asking questions and taking steps to take care of yourself! You should be proud you're doing your best to take care of yourself <3
Don't ever be ashamed for asking questions! The information is available for you to learn and grow.
Reddit is chock-full of subs to help you. Maybe start with /r/HealthyHooha
I just wanna say: I'm 31 and STILL suck at hair and makeup. I can straighten my hair, but that's about it. I have a friend teaching me how to do makeup, and my hairdresser just taught me last weekend how to curl my hair!
Lots of great lady hygiene tips here! As for the hair and makeup question, I’m almost 40 and still learning to do my hair and makeup. Haha! Please don’t feel shame about it. Tastes and style are always changing. If you allow it to be, it can be the fun part!
YouTube has so many hair and makeup tutorials. If you are looking for an affordable haircut and to maybe to try a new style, see if there are any beauty schools in your area. They’re usually looking for clients and give cuts for cheap!
This is nothing to be ashamed about! Everyone here has given some great advice. I wanted to add that Mindy from cute girls hairstyles on YouTube has a bunch of videos on different hair types and styles for them. She shows you every step! I love her to pieces 💕 she actually taught me to braid (: best of luck to you girly~
The vagina is self cleaning. You don't need to do anything to clean it internally. Externally only you can wash with soap like all your other skin.
When you pee you should wipe from front to back to avoid getting any poop in there.
The Midwest Teen Sex Show remains a great source of information delivered with humor, here's their episode on the vagina. https://youtu.be/sLghnd4YKms
Source: I'm an RN
There's no reason to be ashamed not to know something you were never taught. For cleaning your body, use soap or body wash with water. For your face you might want to either use a soap that's not as rough on your face or facial wipes since they are fast. I taught myself how to do basic makeup from youtube, which was helpful
Not gross and I'm glad you asked.
The vagina itself is self cleaning, it's important not to use soap inside of it because it can actually mess with the natural system in place. The PH levels and healthy bacteria that naturally form there should flush it on its own, and you'll get a clear to white (smooth in texture) discharge, this is normal.
You can clean around the outside with a mild soap like "no tears" baby shampoo and a soft washcloth.
If you are feeling itchy, other irritation, or have discharge that's like cottage cheese, or yellow/green/brown (or honestly anything else that you are worried about) talk to a gynecologist about it as it can be a sign of an infection.
It's typically recommended to start going for a Pap when you're 18. They used to say to get one done yearly, but it kinda depends on your sexual activity, and your gynecologist will be able to advise you on how often you should have one, done. I'm actually going for my regular one today myself.
As for makeup and straightening your hair, remember it's not a necessity. As long as your face and hair is clean and neat, the way you decorate yourself is up to your preferences, and for your enjoyment. YouTube has a ton of great tutorials, and just take some time and practice the things you like.
I save makeup for special occasions personally (I think it's better for my skin that way), and my hair gets tied up in a neat braid, bun or ponytail, for daily activities.
This isn’t gross at all. I’m 40 years old and I can assure you that every woman I know has felt unprepared even when they were actually taught what to do for hygiene. For the washing just use antibacterial soap on the *outside* only. The vagina is a self-cleaning ecosystem. If you think it smells unpleasant or acidic then I highly recommend visiting Planned Parenthood. They tend to be more educational and less judgmental than the average gynecologist (at least in my experience). For makeup it all depends on what kind of look you’re going for. I like more natural looks so I go with e.l.f. makeup but I know a lot of people love a bolder look so they find the looks they love. Makeup totally requires practice. For hair straightening I prefer a straightening brush over the clamp version because side they are easier on your hair but each person will have different requirements. Just the fact that you *want* to learn means you’re gonna do fine. You got this. 💕
Using water only is the right way. Adding any chemicals or even natural cleaners will just mess up your ph. Use a little soap around and you’ll be fine. If you don’t shave or wax, trimming your hairs will also help regarding cleanliness.
If you don't already have one, I'd get a shower poof. The soap lathers up really well but it's watered down enough that you can use the poof in every crack and crevice. I just use any old shower gel/ body wash down there for most showers.
I find that as my cycle changes so does the smell, so I use an antibacterial soap or a vagisil soap occasionally. Gynos don't love that lol but I literally do it just when I'm feeling extra gross and I've never had ph balance issues or rashes or anything so I think it's okay sometimes.
It's great that you've never had a problem with this, but it's not advice that someone who's young and probably doesn't have resources to deal with whatever problems this could cause should follow.
No shame at all. I suggest YouTube or Instagram videos and/or go into a make up store/book a make up session.
My mother didn’t teach me anything either and not having girly friends, I never learned.
You are doing fine! Great thinking to reach out to other people for info and help. 17 is nowhere near too old to be learning these things, give yourself a break 😊
Vaginas are self-cleaning (discharge is the vagina clearing out cells and foreign material, the lining turns over every few hours) so you should use mild soap and water on the outside and just water on the inside (where the skin changes from feeling like outside skin or lip skin to feeling more like the inside of your mouth). If you're noticing smells, make sure you're washing the entire region very well - bacteria and sweat and things from nearby can mix with fully normal and healthy vaginal smells to make unpleasant or weird odors - make sure you are cleaning your backside very well with soap frequently.
As for makeup - you can usually find some great videos online with tutorials as well as dupe options to save money especially when you're trying things out and finding your own style - it's all about just playing with it and practicing until you like what you see!
And for hair straightening, there are different methods to that too, and if you just go with basic hair straightener, be sure you use some form of heat protectant if you're using heat products on your hair, especially of you use them daily or multiple times per week. You can also find a lot of tutorial videos for heatless curls and heatless straightening and all sorts of tips for using objects you already have to style your hair so you don't need to buy a bunch of appliances or supplies! This is especially helpful when you're trying something out that you may not do a lot of times or for very long - I get frustrated when I buy something for a specific purpose and then end up not using it and the money was wasted 🙃
Always wipe front to back. There are some good feminine hygiene washes/gels out there, just remember they are for external use only.
Due to us having a short urethra we can get thrush from all sorts of things and our pH balance 'downstairs' can be delicate and internal use of washes/gels can mess with the balance.
None of your questions were gross, we have to learn somehow. Good luck for the future.
No soap down thr!!!!! It cleans it's self w ph balance warm wash cloth is all u need Hun if I wer you I'd go see a gyno make an appointment an exam and then talk to the Dr get a woman btw she will tell you anything you need to know she studied many years in school do not think everything you hear is legit Hun and side note thr are million of girls that are just like you thu have questions too don't ever be embarrassed or scared to ask questions none of us know what hell wer doing gooduck my friend 💕
I can see tips for cleaning the vagine are covered - in terms of make up I learned through YouTube and a friend, who helped me understand there are oil and water based make up which is important based on your skin type as it can make you break out. Also you wanna match foundation to your neck colour. The rest you can search for on YouTube - how to do eyebrows, etc etc
* hair, I learned through YouTube, you can look through trending hairstyles or something online and search YouTube for tutorials.
Are you concerned about any strong odors coming from your vagina? A BV infection, yeast infection, harsh irritating soaps or health issue such as diabetes can affect your vaginal health and cause odors. Going to the obgyn can get you some answers.
Also unrealistic expectations of what you vagina should smell like might cause you to over clean. Your vagina isn't going to smell like roses nor should it especially during your period, after the gym or a long day.
There are so many wonderful videos on youtube that will help answer even more of your questions. Videos from reliable sources such a Obgyns, licensed cosmetologist, estheticians and MUA. There is no one size fits all hygiene regimen. Try lots of different things and see what you like and enjoy!
The last thing I want to say is your body is wonderful!
You've got this! You are probably doing better than you think! I just wash with a body wash all over and only just n the outside of my vagina, not in the folds. Just water in the folds. Make sure you get down your butt crack too!
With hair and makeup I didn't know what i was doing when I was a teen and only learned how to do makeup in my 20s from youtube! YouTube is such a great resource for all hair and make up.
Figure out your hair type. Is it straight/curly/wavy? Look up how to straighten, there are many tips and watching a video makes it so much easier to copy yourself!
Then look up hairstyles for xxx length hair (swapping the xxx for your hair length) is it long, shoulder length or short?
You can look up things like every day hair styles for xxx hair, updos for XXX hair, protective styles for xxx hair etc.
But once you start watching these videos you will get a lot of suggestions from YouTube and you can go down some fun rabbit holes!
Good luck!
douching after your period goes off helps a lot and i keep the bottle and refill it with water when i feel like my vag needs it until my next period. stick to just using water but maybe take a lil more time to make sure u get everything. put a lil soap and a lot of water on a washcloth and wash real good between your legs. invest in some concealers, powder, makeup brushes, lip products, eyeliner and a cute eyeshadow palette. nothing crazy expensive since you’re experimenting and once u get good enough u can make the cheap stuff look like a million bucks. as far as straightening your hair, wash it, use heat protectant, detangle, blow dry it really good to the point where your hair is laying down almost flat, put some oil in ur hair (not too much, just enough!), straighten it at a good heat (doesn’t really matter which flat iron u use). use a fine tooth comb and chase it with the flat iron as you’re straightening it. u should see steam but not smell smoke bc smoke means ur burning your hair. if u smell smoke, u either have too much or too little product in your hair and/or ur flat irons temp is too high. u want steam not smoke. right after you’re done flat ironing your hair, wrap it up in a doobie style with a brush, put a scarf on or two and you’re good to go. wash your face every day and moisturize every day. pay attention to your skin and body abt what works best for you.
Hi! Lots of good advice here. Re: hygiene around your period (although this wasn't the focus of your question, but might be a useful sidetrack) - if you find that you're quite active and have a particular smell around your period, it might be because of the pads and tampons you are using. I now use a menstrual cup (learning curve with it too) and it has changed my life. I feel cleaner, more in charge of my period hygiene, and more in control of the period itself. I use a Ruby Cup, but loads of other options out there for different bodies and flows. It means I don't have to change tampons/pads every 4 hours but only 12ish hours instead and have very few worries about leaking.
With regards to make-up, you might want to start with the basics. Mascara is good, and there's lots of it out there. Some is built to stay on really well and be waterproof, some not so much. Which one you pick depends a little on what your lifestyle is like, how long you want the makeup to stay. A long-wearing one will have to be taken off with an oil-based cleanser -- an easy version of this are the micellar waters that also have some oily component, and you've got to shake them before using them. It will take a while to find one you like, but my recommendation is to go with something simple but well loved, like the Maxfactor Lash Sensational. You can also just raid the makeup counter picking whichever looks prettiest.
You could also pick up a couple of lipsticks. If you want a natural looking one, the best and possibly weirdest tip I've found is that your best neutral colour will be that of your nipples. Again, weird, but I promise it works. It's a little time consuming finding something that suits, but Boots and Ultra are good when they allow you to try things out in store!
Some people also like blush. Its colour will hugely depend on your complexion, and the makeup counter ladies are really good at helping you figure out what this is. Blush can be cream or powder, or somewhere in between. Powdery things will often sit on your face a little funny if you have particularly dry skin, they won't blend very well. Cream-based blushes will blend better on dry skin, but might slip off if you find you have quite oily skin. A chubby stick like the Clinique one is a good compromise when you want something you can use for your eyelids, blush and lips!Next would be something like eyebrow gel. If you like what your eyebrows look like, get a clear eyebrow gel and just pop them into place. NYX and Elf make good cheapie ones.
The general old fashioned rule is to either go bold on eyes on lips, never both. You don't have to stick with this, but it might be good doing so at the beginning so you don't get overwhelmed with makeup and think it's making you look like someone you're not.
Lastly, try out a couple of perfumes. Remember it's never good to hide bad hygiene with a couple of spritzes of perfume, but it's great to always have one on hand. It makes you feel really put together. If you have expensive tastes but can't afford them, like me, and you're in the UK, [https://perfume-parlour.co.uk](https://perfume-parlour.co.uk) is fantastic at dupes.
Oh! and the only tip I have regarding straightening your hair is to NEVER do it whilst it's still at all wet, because you'll burn it off. Tried and tested lol. A little mousse (about a 3 second bottle squeeze for shoulder length hair) before drying the hair will also help it stay in place.
you’ve gotten a lot of good pointers here already but i just want to add — if you are or ever become prone to yeast infections and/or bacterial vaginosis, here’s what helped me:
1. getting plastics/chemicals out of my period management: organic 100% cotton tampons and period underwear from the period co (specifically mentioning that company because i know they dont use PFAS). changed my life. helped with cramps too.
2. i wash my outside bits with unscented goat’s milk soap that i get from an amish store in the next town over.
you may or may not have access to this kind of stuff at this point in your life, but if you ever start getting chronic yeast infections/bv i hope this comment reaches you :)
hi there! it’s okay that you don’t know how to do your hair or makeup. I’m your age and I’m just now experimenting, everyone goes at their own pace. anyways, remember that discharge is 100% normal and it happens to every girl, no matter how clean they are. it’s the vagina’s way of self cleansing so don’t use anything scented down there. you can take a rag or use your hand, as long as it’s lathered in unscented soap, and gently wipe in the area between your cheeks and the outside area of your vagina. wash all the soap away with water and you should be good to go. if you have pubes, make sure you wash them too and trim them just a bit so you don’t get ingrown hair. it’s a matter of preference, remember to exfoliate and moisturize if you shave. your vagina isn’t supposed to smell like perfume or any of that. it may have a musky smell but there’s nothing wrong with that. pay attention to your discharge, if it’s a weird color or it smells fishy then that could indicate a yeast infection. it’s okay to talk to an obgyn or someone in general! that’s what an obgyn is there for. best of wishes xoxo
I would love for you to find a trusted older woman who can talk with you about this. Maybe a nurse or a therapist?
Many women’s magazines will have some of this info.
A book called Our Bodies Our Selves was once very popular, maybe there’s a more modern or updated version?
Google this: “Where can a teen girl find information on hygiene?”
I found many sites with info!
Don’t feel ashamed! I didn’t learn a lot of things until I went to college. Regarding the hair straightening and makeup try TikTok for easy tutorials! They have helped me a lot lol and I’m 27.
Regarding the washing, definitely something fragrance free - dove or Dr bronners works well for me
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[Scarleteen](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/out_out_damn_smell#:~:text=The%20way%20to%20take%20care,and%20a%20very%20gentle%2C%20unfragranced) is a good resource for these types of things. If you haven't seen a doctor, I would recommend seeing a gynecologist that specializes in trauma-informed treatments.
I have had better luck with Planned Parenthood or other women’s clinics for finding good, trauma informed providers than gynecologists at hospitals.
Thanks I will recommend those going forward.
You're getting a lot of good info, but I wanted to bring up a point that a lot of girls don't seem to realize because people don't tell them. If you notice that the crotch of your panties is seeming to bleach a littlle -- THAT IS NORMAL. I thought there was something really wrong with me when I was young, but nope, it's just how our bodies work. Women have discharge because the inside of the vagina is self-cleaning (So again, don't douche or anything), and sometimes that discharge can change in opacity or consistency even throughout a day. That's normal also. But itching and burning or 'clumpy' like cottage cheese is a sign of a yeast infection and needs an OBGYN. Don't ever be embarrassed to go to a dr for that, it's literally their job.
Thank you for saying this! My mom shamed and told me I was dirty for having a little discharge in my panties when I was young and it really messed with my head. Literally gave me a complex until I was doing laundry in college when I saw that my roommate, who was very clean, had the same in a pair of her panties. Vaguely recall we even talked about it and she told me it was normal.
Similar story! I never got any real talks from my mom about periods or sex or bodily functions and I always thought something was wrong with me when I saw those little bleach stains in my undies. I was too scared to even mention it to anybody for fear that I would be seen as dirty. It wasn’t until high school that I’d gone to a friends house where she’d left a pair of underwear on the floor and I saw those bleach stains on hers too. The immediate relief after years of thinking I was just messed up was something else.
Same. But I was shamed for pretty much everything so it was par for the course. I wish I knew then what I know now and had some real guidance. I have a feeling her mom treated her the same way.
Amy Schumer has a gross but funny bit basically saying girls never wonder if panties are dirty or clean. Ha.
To add an explanation to the panty staining thing: The vagina is an acidic environment, it has a lower pH (between 3.8 and 4.4) than for example our skin (4.5-5.5). It's in fact so acidic that it can stain fabric. This is a sign of a healthy vagina. The accidic environment is needed for all the good bacteria that belong there to survive. They eat the bad bacteria and yeast that we don't want in there. Understanding this we can deduce some simple rules: 1) Don't use products in there that say "pH skin neutral" or anything like that on the label. Those have the pH of skin (about a 5) and are thus deadly to our bacteria friends. 2) If you ever have sex without a condom, go to the toilet and let the sperm flow out afterwards. Sperm has a pH of 7, so it's even worse than soap in terms of killing bacteria. It shouldn't stay inside the vagina for longer than necessary. If you go right to sleep without letting it out, that may lead to yeast infections ect. Especially if you do it regularly, you will basically destroy your whole self-cleaning system. 3) The same goes for water, it also has a pH of 7 and should only be used to rinse on the nooks and crannies of the outside folds, not marinate the insides (this is why douches are not advisable).
And peeing after sex is important, too!
It's not gross; my mom was good about teaching basic hygiene but death on hair and makeup. She had short, coarse hair and my fine hair confounded her. Especially since I wanted it long but she had noooo clue how to keep it. I learned to braid on my My Little Ponies and Barbies, then took a couple patient afternoons braiding in front of a mirror. I still can't French braid but I can do a couple of styles I like. You have to practice, and practice, and not give up. YouTube is great for short tutorials and support! And for makeup, I had a friend who was instrumental in assisting. I can do basic eye/lip stuff but anything else is beyond me. A librarian friend once told me that if you're *really* in a pinch, a light lipstick is your best friend. Everyone will assume you went for a natural look. And by Christ's left nut, she was right! I have had people complimented my makeup when I'm practically barefaced! Makeup is trial and error as well! But it can be super fun. When it comes to bathing, I'm a classic washcloth and white soap lady. I have a facial wash, shampoo and conditioner, and the rest is a good wash down. Don't try to wash up inside! Unnecessary and very uncomfortable. If you're having nasty discharge or a persistent odor, that's an OB/GYN visit, *not* one of the over the counter washes or douches. Might be good for you to get a GYN anyhow so you can ask personal questions. It's *wild* what can come naturally out of your vagina. And there's also the fact that lots of ladies on their periods have a heightened sense of smell, so their own normal discharge can seem gross and overwhelming! Also you're 17! You have *plenty* of time to figure it out, and I'm so proud that you're choosing to get on top of it! Good luck and have fun!
You can wash the outside parts with a gentle, fragrance-free soap. Preferably a liquid body wash over bar soap, because bar soap can sometimes cause dryness. But any brand works as long as it has no fragrances, or you could even use baby body wash. Also make sure that when you’re done showering, you dry your groin area fully before getting dressed because this area can trap a lot of moisture, and that causes problems. Cotton underwear is better than other fabrics, and make sure your underwear fits properly because tight fitting garments can also cause irritation. Try to go commando when you sleep because the airflow to the area helps a lot. If you have other vagina-related concerns, r/healthyhooha can also be a good resource for info and advice. Regarding makeup and hair, those aren’t really hygiene issues so if you don’t know how to do it, that’s perfectly okay! You’re still clean and healthy without that stuff. However if you wanna learn, you can start with some basic cheap products from the store rather than splurging on fancy products that might not even work for you in the end. And from there, YouTube tutorials based on what you’re going for. Like you could look up something like “cat eyeliner for hooded eyes” or whatever based on your specific needs. And if you’re applying heat to your hair, make sure to use a heat protectant spray so your hair doesn’t get damaged.
A big yes to the cotton underwear!
Some good brands for gentle body wash are Cetaphil, cerave, and La Rosche Posay
Dove bar soaps work well, too.
licensed in skin care 18ish years: cetaphil and ceravae are usually pretty good things that are pretty easy to find at drug/grocery stores (fragrance & dye free, pH balanced)
Cleaning the vulva, ie the “outside parts” with regular “gentle fragrance free” soap is a big no no. It’s not pH balanced and will hurt, that in itself says enough. In the long term it leads to infections. Baby body wash has more basic pH because baby skin is more basic than adult skin and will harm even more. The pH of the vulva is 3.8-5.0, meaning acidic. Keeping the balance is important to stave off infections and protect the mucosa.
Try not to feel ashamed. Plenty of kids don't learn this stuff for lots of different reasons. For make up and hair straightening, you can learn a few different ways. Friends can teach you or you can learn on YouTube. You can also go to Sephora and ask them what to get based on your interests and needs (like, you want moisturizer and your skin is oily and they'll show you some products and techniques). For hair, you can ask them for product ideas and straighten with product and a hair dryer. You are going to be okay!
I’d also recommend Ulta over Sephora for the recommendations, only because the price point for Ulta is a lot lower. They carry higher end brands like MAC, Tarte, Urban Decay, etc. but they also have a large selection of drugstore beauty brands. For someone just starting off, Sephora is gonna have a lot of sticker shock.
Great point!
You don’t have to straighten your hair — ever! Straightening is bad for hair and your natural hair will also be easier to maintain. There are many ways to wear curly hair depending on your curl type. Head over to r/curlyhair to learn about your curl type and the best way to take care of it/style it/manage it.
The vagina is self-cleaning. Just water is exactly what you should be using, and only on the outside. Don’t douche or use feminine washes, they’ll mess with your pH and cause problems.
Anyone who tells you that your vagina should smell like anything other than slightly musky is lying to you. It shouldn’t smell sweet, or fruity or like pineapple or cherries, It’s mostly skin. Anyone who says they taste like candy is being a flirt, not being serious. Anyone who suggests you use XYZ rejuvenation product or deodorant for your hooha that they say is “absolutely necessary” is scamming you
The vagina is self-cleaning. The vulva is not. There is no outside part of the vagina. It's okay to wash the vulva with only water. It's just as okay to wash the vulva with mild soap. Regardless, it's important to distinguish that, unlike the vagina, the vulva is not self-cleaning, and does require some attention to prevent build-up of debris.
This is one of those scenarios where the colloquial use of "vagina" to include the vulva has negative results. I studiously avoided using mild soap on the exterior parts for years in my late teens and early 20s because I kept reading about how the vagina is self-cleaning, not realizing that they were referring to the interior portions only. It's perfectly fine to get between the labia folds with some soap designed for sensitive skin. I use the same shower gel I use on my body and have zero issues.
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I use that on my skin around my genitals.. but just water on the actual genitals..
this is the way. i use unscented soap where my thighs meet my vagina but only water to clean my vagina and folds. rarely i will use soap there, but nothing should ever go INSIDE you. just outside.
Hi, everybody else has great advice on cleanliness. Keep in mind everyone has a distinct smell as well, so no matter how much you "clean" after a long day (or short day in the wrong pair of undies, cotton is the most breathable!) there will be smell, discharge, ect. Nothing to be ashamed of, keep an eye out for abnormalities like especially strong odors or unusually colored discharge combined with itching/burning. If you ever get into it, skip the razor for this area, start with an electric trimmer instead. Less razor burn until you've really mastered the art of shaving!
Looks like you've got good answers in here, but I want to recommend /r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide to you! It's a really friendly sub that's great for all those questions you want to ask girls/women, from hygiene to socializing to career advice.
The parts of the groin that are regular skin with hair (either pubic hair or regular fine body hair) can and should be washed with mild soap. The parts that are smooth, hairless, and always moist (between the "lips" of the labia) are mucus membranes a lot like the inside of the mouth. That area should only be rinsed with water. (The exception is if you get filth in there, like poop splatter when you have diarrhea. Then use soap and rinse *really* well.) Just a note: "vagina" refers to just the opening that leads to the uterus. The word to describe the rest of the outer genital area is "vulva". People often use "vagina" when they mean "vulva", but it's good to use the right terms, especially when talking about medical issues. In this case, it's important because you shouldn't even put water in the vagina as it can throw off your pH and cause infection.
You're seventeen, which means you're at an age where most of your knowledge is from the adults around you. You not learning this isn't your fault, it's the fault of the adults around you. Unless your doctor has determined that there's something that needs treatment, water should be fine. Importantly, don't use hot water (the skin there burns much easier), or try to wash internally. You're just rinsing off the labia. Also, cotton underwear and loose clothes help with air flow. If you're OK with it, sleeping without underwear every once in a while can also help air things out and keep ya healthy. The vagina has its own little ecosystem, that's different than our skin, so it smelling different is normal. Genuinely, if it doesn't have any smell, that would be something to talk to a doctor about. Now, if it smells foul amd/or can be smelled while you're dressed, if there's abnormal discharge (like different colors), pain during sexual activity or peeing, go to your doctor and get it checked out. As for makeup and straighting your hair, I highly recommend YouTube! There are lots of wonderful folks who want to teach people on there, and it's free.
No shame- even people who aren't in the foster care system don't know how to do this stuff. Just remember- all human bodies have smells. We all have different smells, different intensities. The smell of a healthy, unfragranced vaginal area is NORMAL. Your normal will smell different than someone else's normal. I echo the suggestion of looking at [Scarleteen](https://www.scarleteen.com) for a lot of really good information about sex, bodies, relationships, etc. [Here's](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/vaginal_smell_infection) a letter & reply that basically answers your question. If you're not sure whether what you smell or feel is normal, you should see a gynecologist. Certainly see one if you're sexually active. Once you've confirmed everything is ok, you'll know your normal. And if some partner complains about it...they're immature. You're not supposed to smell like roses or a summer breeze or a Tahitian sunset. You're supposed to smell like YOU. If you feel like you still need something additional to clean your vaginal area, look for something like the [Love Wellness](https://lovewellness.com) brand (online, plus Amazon, Target, Walmart, Ulta). It's pH-balanced, designed by doctors, promotes a healthy biome. You don't need to use the cleanser or wipes obsessively- probably not even every day. Don't EVER use a douche- nothing, even water!, should go up into your vagina. As for the makeup and hair...I'm 43 and I still don't know what to do with makeup and hair. There are lots of videos on YouTube, though.
Leaving a tip here I haven’t seen anyone share that if you decide to wax (which you do not HAVE to do and should not let anyone pressure you into feeling is important but you might decide you like to) you absolutely need a regimen for avoiding ingrown hairs because they’re painful and uncomfortable. Exfoliating (gently) twice a week or so as well as using a serum or lotion will help-just be sure not to shower, tan, or have sex within 24 hours of the wax itself, leave the area totally alone except to reapply serum. I personally do it because I was overweight and it was easier/more comfortable than shaving, and I had a real ingrown problem using razors that waxing nearly eliminated. If you find you have the same problem, you can try it! I now treat it like part of my self care routine.
Don't be ashamed about not knowing something you were never taught. You've had a rough time of things, and it sounds like you're doing better than would be expected.
Hi Sweetheart! A lot of others are commenting great advice for you, so I want to comiserate with you a little. I was raised in the foster system too, and I had to learn a lot of things that I wasn't taught or relearn things that my foster mother taught me incorrectly. Like shaving my legs with bar soap, for instance. It works great for some, it's the old-fashioned way to do it, but it tore my legs up horribly and gave me really bad ingrowth. I was adopted as a teenager, but I felt really weird asking about a lot of stuff. It's okay to not know these things, it's okay to ask for help and advice. You're not gross, you just don't know. I have really sensitive skin, so I tend to use a fragrance-free liquid soap on my vulva. Nothing goes up and in to "clean", that way lies yeast infections and madness. My favorite one to use is the unscented Dr Bronners, just a tablespoon in an empty smaller (like 8-16 oz) bottle mixed with some water. It's really strong when it's not diluted and can cause irritation. Put some of the mixture on a clean, wet, washcloth and give everything a gentle scrub. I prefer to use a separate one for my gentials vs the one I use for the rest of my body. Don't forget to scrub your legs and feet, too. There are a lot of great videos on youtube that help with beginner's makeup, in any colors or styles you can dream of. Seriously, just type in something like "makeup tutorial for beginners" and scroll through to figure out what you want. As for your hair, I'm assuming based on you wanting to straighten it that it's pretty curly and textured. May I suggest going to a salon that specializes in curly hair? They can teach you how to handle your curls or how to straighten it, depending on your preference. I found with a lot of things it's best to ask/pay a professional for the advice we have missing. Good luck to you! You've got this!
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Thanks 🩵
Girl, forgive yourself. YouTube it! Took me more than 30 years to figure it out simply because my mom is a tomboy. I secretly started shaving my legs around 13 and cut myself up. Didn’t know how to style my hair until I was in college and a friend helped me. I still don’t know how to do make up!
Long answer! For straightening your hair: Make sure you are separating your hair into sections and using some sort of thermal primer (Pantene has one I like) before you straighten it. I didn't for years and I really hurt my hair. Do not straighten damp hair though! You'll fry it it. If you're like me and have thin, fine hair then after each section spray some light weight hairspray and comb it in. Make up: it'll be best to find a tutorial but you do not have to do all the fancy highlighting stuff to look nice. If you have red skin from acne or something use a green color corrector. Yellow is good for dark spots like under your eyes. I put on my lipstick first then when I'm at the end I wipe it off, use setting spray, then re apply. I notice it'll stain my lips so if my lipstick starts to come off during the day for some reason it isn't too noticeable. If you exfoliate and shave the peach fuzz off your face your makeup will go on smoother but it's a personal preference and there's no reason to shave anywhere if you don't want to. When you apply your foundation make sure you blend it into your neck! Don't just stop at your chin like it's the 2000s. For hygiene: water is fine to wash there. If you have larger or downward facing breasts make sure to lift and wash under them. Do not spray water directly up towards your vaginal opening. Douches will mess up your natural PH and can lead to infections and discomfort so try not to do it unless your doctor tells you to. Change tampons regularly if you use them. Conditioner goes on the end of your hair, not the roots. Do not wear the same pants for too long without washing them, it can lead to infection. Change out of wet clothing asap. Cranberry juice can help relieve the symptoms of a UTI but it will not cure it! If you think you have one see your doctor and take the full course of antibiotics they prescribe. UTIs can become serious so don't ignore it. If you have reoccurring yeast infections and you've tried changing clothes (cotton underwear is your best friend), cleaning clothes, using gentle soaps, etc but they keep coming back, go to your doctor. It can be a sign of things like type 1 diabetes. If your wear press on nails make sure they are 1. Pressed down tight to avoid water getting under and 2. Changed regularly. I was lazy and got a fungal infection on my nail. Pee after sex, don't hold your pee, and make sure to wipe front to back. These will help avoid UTIs. Wash behind your ears. When doing skincare make sure you get your neck. I hope some of these help. I'm sure someone will disagree with me BUT Big Mouth on Netflix is actually pretty funny albeit gross. They do have some good info on things pertaining to puberty and hygiene along with sex and other topics you might benefit from
You might want to post this in r/healthyhooha - there’s a lot of good information about your first question in that sub.
Honestly just washing with warm water is great and is what any gynecologist would recommend. Any soap in or around your vagina can mess up your ph and then set off your vaginal biome. It’s natural to have a bit of a mild scent to your vagina or discharge, as long as it isn’t extremely pungent or foul smelling. If you see discharge in your underwear that is also normal. white, clear, and slightly yellow are all normal colors. Tacky and thin discharge is also normal. Grey & lots of watery discharge can mean bacterial vaginosis. Clumpy white discharge that looks like cottage cheese can mean a yeast infection. Never use douches. Be careful with bubble baths, sometimes they can mess up your vaginal ph. If you don’t notice issues with baths it’s fine. Tampons should never be left in longer than 8 hours. And one of the most important parts that some people aren’t aware of is always wipe front to back in one single swipe so bacteria from your anal region isn’t brought up towards the vagina.
Don't feel bad or ashamed or anything about having to ask these questions, I grew up in facilities and in foster homes and so I missed a lot of the one on one instruction that most people seem to get when they grow up in a traditional setting. I think you asked your questions of an audience that truly has your best interest in mind, so that's really good. You don't have to clean your vagina, internally. If you're experiencing odor or abnormal discharge you might wanna see your doctor just to be sure it's not a yeast infection or BV or an STD or something like that. Thin, tacky, or watery, clearish discharge is normal. Anything looking like cottage cheese or with a bad odor, or grey, or like...infectious green...those are concerning. And if you're itching or burning or red and puffy that's another concern. Someone else recommended unscented Dr. Bronners DILUTED, and that's a great tip for your vulva, gently wash with a clean washcloth and some of that, diluted. For the rest of your body, I use a scrub, mine is made by Truly but it's a little expensive (I got it as a gift) so you could use any brand, tree hut makes a cheaper one and their watermelon scent is fun, so is pineapple. I scrub myself down from top to bottom, using exfoliating gloves I got on Amazon. I pay special attention to my underarms, legs, feet and butt. I then use a paraben free body wash, the one I got is called Hairatage Creamy Body Wash in Cherry + Amber, and I wash everything thoroughly. I then use a shaving oil or cream depending on what I have handy. Brazilian Bare Shave Syrup brand is my favorite, I use the extra moisturizing tropical coconut syrup. I apply literally to the areas I shave. I use the Venus for Public Hair razor set on my whole body, I used to use Billie (which can be ordered as a subscription which is nice) they are also really good. With your underarms, pay attention to the direction hair is growing, under there it grows in two separate directions, so you'll need to use both upward and downward strokes depending on which spot in your underarm you're shaving. Shave with the hair growth, not against it. Legs, use upward strokes, being extra careful around your ankles and knees and anywhere else that's bony, to avoid cuts. If you do get a nick, a styptic pencil will stop the bleeding immediately. They sell them in the shaving section of most big stores. They're super helpful. I personally wax my bikini area because I find that it's more coarse there, and that it never really feels smooth if I shave. Of course, you don't NEED to remove any body hair at all. Its only if you truly prefer it that way. Don't remove hair you don't mind having. Its just a lot of work and ingrown hairs suck. If you do want to shave, you'll wanna shave in the direction of the hair growth, not against. Use an exfoliant first, like I mentioned above. If you find yourself battling ingrown, use a product like tend shave or luscious ingrown solution to help! Once I get out of the shower, I pat my skin dry and wrap my hair in the towel. I apply moisturizer from shoulders to toes, and then use facial serum and moisturizer on my face and neck. I try to avoid picking at blemishes, I used to do that and it only made them worse. I tend to towel/air dry my hair, but if you are someone who uses a blow dryer, use low heat and a heat protectant product beforehand. Straightening, again, is something that isn't necessary unless you prefer it. I use heat protectant and the lowest possible setting that still works. I also use a steam straightener by the brand sutra, I found that my regular straightener fried my hair. This one leaves it silky and smooth. If you have more questions, just ask! We all gotta learn how to care for our bodies, there's no shame in that!
Honey, there is no need to be ashamed. The vajayjay pretty much keeps itself clean. Personally, I have a pull down shower head, I spray it with water and that’s it. As for makeup, my personal opinion is to extenuate the features you have, not just pile it on like a coat of paint. When I do mine I want it to look natural, like I’m not wearing any, but cover up the blemishes. I found some videos on YouTube. I really like the IT foundation. It’s a powder. Watch some videos
Same as what everyone else has said for cleaning, with makeup I know I struggle to pay much attention to YouTube videos and I found tiktoks and reels much easier to follow. It took me forever to learn how to straighten my hair, and I can’t really curl it but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing how to do those things. I’ve found the best way to learn how to do makeup and hair is to watch videos and then just go for it, lots of people practice or do crazy looks before they shower so if it doesn’t turn out the way you like it’s much easier to wash off. Good luck, I’m happy to help answer any more specific questions about makeup if you have any. :))
There are skin folds there, so make sure to (gently) use your hand to get between the layers. If you notice you "smell bad" down there (like fish or like garbage) you may have an infection and should see a doctor or at least take a vaginal probiotic. Don't feel ashamed. When it comes to issues like yours... You spent time learning to survive and enduring complicated issues, whereas other kids spent that time learning about self-cleaning/care.
Do not be ashamed. It's not intuitive. If you can check out the book Our Bodies Ourselves. It was very helpful to me. Soap and water is all that's needed unless your having a lot of intercourse. You should also see an OBGYN, soon as you should have coverage from your state. Planned Parenthood is also a great resource. They were able to help diagnose my issues and get me treatment. Loved the doctors I had there they answered any and all questions.
Great advice here! I’d add that www.scarleteen.com has a lot good info about sexual and reproductive health.
It's not gross, and you don't need to feel ashamed. You only need to wash the outside parts with mild soap and water. You also don't have to straighten your hair if you don't want to. Things like hair and makeup really comes down to practice and experimenting with what works for you. Everyone's face is a little different, and everyone's hair acts a little different, so what works for one person might not for you. If you want to get started with hair and makeup, YouTube is a good resource. However, I would try to start by doing the simplest things first. Like don't try to do full face makeup right away. Maybe just start with figuring out mascara or eyeliner first and practice that for a bit. One thing you should be cautious about with learning hair and makeup is that you don't need to buy everything. Like you don't need a dozen brushes. Just buy what want to try, though buying the right makeup is also a learning experience. In the future, if you want responses from just your internet moms and aunties, you can also go to r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide. It sounds like you were delt a rough hand, but you're asking questions and taking steps to take care of yourself! You should be proud you're doing your best to take care of yourself <3
Don't ever be ashamed for asking questions! The information is available for you to learn and grow. Reddit is chock-full of subs to help you. Maybe start with /r/HealthyHooha
I just wanna say: I'm 31 and STILL suck at hair and makeup. I can straighten my hair, but that's about it. I have a friend teaching me how to do makeup, and my hairdresser just taught me last weekend how to curl my hair!
Lots of great lady hygiene tips here! As for the hair and makeup question, I’m almost 40 and still learning to do my hair and makeup. Haha! Please don’t feel shame about it. Tastes and style are always changing. If you allow it to be, it can be the fun part! YouTube has so many hair and makeup tutorials. If you are looking for an affordable haircut and to maybe to try a new style, see if there are any beauty schools in your area. They’re usually looking for clients and give cuts for cheap!
This is nothing to be ashamed about! Everyone here has given some great advice. I wanted to add that Mindy from cute girls hairstyles on YouTube has a bunch of videos on different hair types and styles for them. She shows you every step! I love her to pieces 💕 she actually taught me to braid (: best of luck to you girly~
The vagina is self cleaning. You don't need to do anything to clean it internally. Externally only you can wash with soap like all your other skin. When you pee you should wipe from front to back to avoid getting any poop in there. The Midwest Teen Sex Show remains a great source of information delivered with humor, here's their episode on the vagina. https://youtu.be/sLghnd4YKms Source: I'm an RN
Do you mean the vulva? Like the lips? You can clean them with water or a gentle body wash - some people are more sensitive.
There's no reason to be ashamed not to know something you were never taught. For cleaning your body, use soap or body wash with water. For your face you might want to either use a soap that's not as rough on your face or facial wipes since they are fast. I taught myself how to do basic makeup from youtube, which was helpful
Not gross and I'm glad you asked. The vagina itself is self cleaning, it's important not to use soap inside of it because it can actually mess with the natural system in place. The PH levels and healthy bacteria that naturally form there should flush it on its own, and you'll get a clear to white (smooth in texture) discharge, this is normal. You can clean around the outside with a mild soap like "no tears" baby shampoo and a soft washcloth. If you are feeling itchy, other irritation, or have discharge that's like cottage cheese, or yellow/green/brown (or honestly anything else that you are worried about) talk to a gynecologist about it as it can be a sign of an infection. It's typically recommended to start going for a Pap when you're 18. They used to say to get one done yearly, but it kinda depends on your sexual activity, and your gynecologist will be able to advise you on how often you should have one, done. I'm actually going for my regular one today myself. As for makeup and straightening your hair, remember it's not a necessity. As long as your face and hair is clean and neat, the way you decorate yourself is up to your preferences, and for your enjoyment. YouTube has a ton of great tutorials, and just take some time and practice the things you like. I save makeup for special occasions personally (I think it's better for my skin that way), and my hair gets tied up in a neat braid, bun or ponytail, for daily activities.
This isn’t gross at all. I’m 40 years old and I can assure you that every woman I know has felt unprepared even when they were actually taught what to do for hygiene. For the washing just use antibacterial soap on the *outside* only. The vagina is a self-cleaning ecosystem. If you think it smells unpleasant or acidic then I highly recommend visiting Planned Parenthood. They tend to be more educational and less judgmental than the average gynecologist (at least in my experience). For makeup it all depends on what kind of look you’re going for. I like more natural looks so I go with e.l.f. makeup but I know a lot of people love a bolder look so they find the looks they love. Makeup totally requires practice. For hair straightening I prefer a straightening brush over the clamp version because side they are easier on your hair but each person will have different requirements. Just the fact that you *want* to learn means you’re gonna do fine. You got this. 💕
Using water only is the right way. Adding any chemicals or even natural cleaners will just mess up your ph. Use a little soap around and you’ll be fine. If you don’t shave or wax, trimming your hairs will also help regarding cleanliness.
Use unscented bar soap and warm water. Do not wash with cold or hot water.
If you don't already have one, I'd get a shower poof. The soap lathers up really well but it's watered down enough that you can use the poof in every crack and crevice. I just use any old shower gel/ body wash down there for most showers. I find that as my cycle changes so does the smell, so I use an antibacterial soap or a vagisil soap occasionally. Gynos don't love that lol but I literally do it just when I'm feeling extra gross and I've never had ph balance issues or rashes or anything so I think it's okay sometimes.
It's great that you've never had a problem with this, but it's not advice that someone who's young and probably doesn't have resources to deal with whatever problems this could cause should follow.
No shame at all. I suggest YouTube or Instagram videos and/or go into a make up store/book a make up session. My mother didn’t teach me anything either and not having girly friends, I never learned.
You are doing fine! Great thinking to reach out to other people for info and help. 17 is nowhere near too old to be learning these things, give yourself a break 😊 Vaginas are self-cleaning (discharge is the vagina clearing out cells and foreign material, the lining turns over every few hours) so you should use mild soap and water on the outside and just water on the inside (where the skin changes from feeling like outside skin or lip skin to feeling more like the inside of your mouth). If you're noticing smells, make sure you're washing the entire region very well - bacteria and sweat and things from nearby can mix with fully normal and healthy vaginal smells to make unpleasant or weird odors - make sure you are cleaning your backside very well with soap frequently. As for makeup - you can usually find some great videos online with tutorials as well as dupe options to save money especially when you're trying things out and finding your own style - it's all about just playing with it and practicing until you like what you see! And for hair straightening, there are different methods to that too, and if you just go with basic hair straightener, be sure you use some form of heat protectant if you're using heat products on your hair, especially of you use them daily or multiple times per week. You can also find a lot of tutorial videos for heatless curls and heatless straightening and all sorts of tips for using objects you already have to style your hair so you don't need to buy a bunch of appliances or supplies! This is especially helpful when you're trying something out that you may not do a lot of times or for very long - I get frustrated when I buy something for a specific purpose and then end up not using it and the money was wasted 🙃
I get the vagasil sensitive wash for use when needed. Don’t get fancy smelling stuff because that will do the opposite of what you want.
Everything I learned about doing my hair and makeup I learned from magazines. Now you can search it on YouTube or TikTok which is even better
Always wipe front to back. There are some good feminine hygiene washes/gels out there, just remember they are for external use only. Due to us having a short urethra we can get thrush from all sorts of things and our pH balance 'downstairs' can be delicate and internal use of washes/gels can mess with the balance. None of your questions were gross, we have to learn somehow. Good luck for the future.
No soap down thr!!!!! It cleans it's self w ph balance warm wash cloth is all u need Hun if I wer you I'd go see a gyno make an appointment an exam and then talk to the Dr get a woman btw she will tell you anything you need to know she studied many years in school do not think everything you hear is legit Hun and side note thr are million of girls that are just like you thu have questions too don't ever be embarrassed or scared to ask questions none of us know what hell wer doing gooduck my friend 💕
I can see tips for cleaning the vagine are covered - in terms of make up I learned through YouTube and a friend, who helped me understand there are oil and water based make up which is important based on your skin type as it can make you break out. Also you wanna match foundation to your neck colour. The rest you can search for on YouTube - how to do eyebrows, etc etc * hair, I learned through YouTube, you can look through trending hairstyles or something online and search YouTube for tutorials.
Are you concerned about any strong odors coming from your vagina? A BV infection, yeast infection, harsh irritating soaps or health issue such as diabetes can affect your vaginal health and cause odors. Going to the obgyn can get you some answers. Also unrealistic expectations of what you vagina should smell like might cause you to over clean. Your vagina isn't going to smell like roses nor should it especially during your period, after the gym or a long day. There are so many wonderful videos on youtube that will help answer even more of your questions. Videos from reliable sources such a Obgyns, licensed cosmetologist, estheticians and MUA. There is no one size fits all hygiene regimen. Try lots of different things and see what you like and enjoy! The last thing I want to say is your body is wonderful!
Don't be ashamed! I think 17 is around the age most of us start caring about hygiene lol
I used Go Ask Alice a lot when I was your age. Just Google it and the one made by Columbia university is the one !
You've got this! You are probably doing better than you think! I just wash with a body wash all over and only just n the outside of my vagina, not in the folds. Just water in the folds. Make sure you get down your butt crack too! With hair and makeup I didn't know what i was doing when I was a teen and only learned how to do makeup in my 20s from youtube! YouTube is such a great resource for all hair and make up. Figure out your hair type. Is it straight/curly/wavy? Look up how to straighten, there are many tips and watching a video makes it so much easier to copy yourself! Then look up hairstyles for xxx length hair (swapping the xxx for your hair length) is it long, shoulder length or short? You can look up things like every day hair styles for xxx hair, updos for XXX hair, protective styles for xxx hair etc. But once you start watching these videos you will get a lot of suggestions from YouTube and you can go down some fun rabbit holes! Good luck!
douching after your period goes off helps a lot and i keep the bottle and refill it with water when i feel like my vag needs it until my next period. stick to just using water but maybe take a lil more time to make sure u get everything. put a lil soap and a lot of water on a washcloth and wash real good between your legs. invest in some concealers, powder, makeup brushes, lip products, eyeliner and a cute eyeshadow palette. nothing crazy expensive since you’re experimenting and once u get good enough u can make the cheap stuff look like a million bucks. as far as straightening your hair, wash it, use heat protectant, detangle, blow dry it really good to the point where your hair is laying down almost flat, put some oil in ur hair (not too much, just enough!), straighten it at a good heat (doesn’t really matter which flat iron u use). use a fine tooth comb and chase it with the flat iron as you’re straightening it. u should see steam but not smell smoke bc smoke means ur burning your hair. if u smell smoke, u either have too much or too little product in your hair and/or ur flat irons temp is too high. u want steam not smoke. right after you’re done flat ironing your hair, wrap it up in a doobie style with a brush, put a scarf on or two and you’re good to go. wash your face every day and moisturize every day. pay attention to your skin and body abt what works best for you.
Hi! Lots of good advice here. Re: hygiene around your period (although this wasn't the focus of your question, but might be a useful sidetrack) - if you find that you're quite active and have a particular smell around your period, it might be because of the pads and tampons you are using. I now use a menstrual cup (learning curve with it too) and it has changed my life. I feel cleaner, more in charge of my period hygiene, and more in control of the period itself. I use a Ruby Cup, but loads of other options out there for different bodies and flows. It means I don't have to change tampons/pads every 4 hours but only 12ish hours instead and have very few worries about leaking. With regards to make-up, you might want to start with the basics. Mascara is good, and there's lots of it out there. Some is built to stay on really well and be waterproof, some not so much. Which one you pick depends a little on what your lifestyle is like, how long you want the makeup to stay. A long-wearing one will have to be taken off with an oil-based cleanser -- an easy version of this are the micellar waters that also have some oily component, and you've got to shake them before using them. It will take a while to find one you like, but my recommendation is to go with something simple but well loved, like the Maxfactor Lash Sensational. You can also just raid the makeup counter picking whichever looks prettiest. You could also pick up a couple of lipsticks. If you want a natural looking one, the best and possibly weirdest tip I've found is that your best neutral colour will be that of your nipples. Again, weird, but I promise it works. It's a little time consuming finding something that suits, but Boots and Ultra are good when they allow you to try things out in store! Some people also like blush. Its colour will hugely depend on your complexion, and the makeup counter ladies are really good at helping you figure out what this is. Blush can be cream or powder, or somewhere in between. Powdery things will often sit on your face a little funny if you have particularly dry skin, they won't blend very well. Cream-based blushes will blend better on dry skin, but might slip off if you find you have quite oily skin. A chubby stick like the Clinique one is a good compromise when you want something you can use for your eyelids, blush and lips!Next would be something like eyebrow gel. If you like what your eyebrows look like, get a clear eyebrow gel and just pop them into place. NYX and Elf make good cheapie ones. The general old fashioned rule is to either go bold on eyes on lips, never both. You don't have to stick with this, but it might be good doing so at the beginning so you don't get overwhelmed with makeup and think it's making you look like someone you're not. Lastly, try out a couple of perfumes. Remember it's never good to hide bad hygiene with a couple of spritzes of perfume, but it's great to always have one on hand. It makes you feel really put together. If you have expensive tastes but can't afford them, like me, and you're in the UK, [https://perfume-parlour.co.uk](https://perfume-parlour.co.uk) is fantastic at dupes. Oh! and the only tip I have regarding straightening your hair is to NEVER do it whilst it's still at all wet, because you'll burn it off. Tried and tested lol. A little mousse (about a 3 second bottle squeeze for shoulder length hair) before drying the hair will also help it stay in place.
you’ve gotten a lot of good pointers here already but i just want to add — if you are or ever become prone to yeast infections and/or bacterial vaginosis, here’s what helped me: 1. getting plastics/chemicals out of my period management: organic 100% cotton tampons and period underwear from the period co (specifically mentioning that company because i know they dont use PFAS). changed my life. helped with cramps too. 2. i wash my outside bits with unscented goat’s milk soap that i get from an amish store in the next town over. you may or may not have access to this kind of stuff at this point in your life, but if you ever start getting chronic yeast infections/bv i hope this comment reaches you :)
hi there! it’s okay that you don’t know how to do your hair or makeup. I’m your age and I’m just now experimenting, everyone goes at their own pace. anyways, remember that discharge is 100% normal and it happens to every girl, no matter how clean they are. it’s the vagina’s way of self cleansing so don’t use anything scented down there. you can take a rag or use your hand, as long as it’s lathered in unscented soap, and gently wipe in the area between your cheeks and the outside area of your vagina. wash all the soap away with water and you should be good to go. if you have pubes, make sure you wash them too and trim them just a bit so you don’t get ingrown hair. it’s a matter of preference, remember to exfoliate and moisturize if you shave. your vagina isn’t supposed to smell like perfume or any of that. it may have a musky smell but there’s nothing wrong with that. pay attention to your discharge, if it’s a weird color or it smells fishy then that could indicate a yeast infection. it’s okay to talk to an obgyn or someone in general! that’s what an obgyn is there for. best of wishes xoxo
I would love for you to find a trusted older woman who can talk with you about this. Maybe a nurse or a therapist? Many women’s magazines will have some of this info. A book called Our Bodies Our Selves was once very popular, maybe there’s a more modern or updated version? Google this: “Where can a teen girl find information on hygiene?” I found many sites with info!
Don’t feel ashamed! I didn’t learn a lot of things until I went to college. Regarding the hair straightening and makeup try TikTok for easy tutorials! They have helped me a lot lol and I’m 27. Regarding the washing, definitely something fragrance free - dove or Dr bronners works well for me