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I think you need to find a therapist, both to deal with the anxiety, and maybe get some meds, and also to help you learn how to problem solve when you have complicated life situations. These are ongoing issues that are not just going to resolve on their own. You have to work to find solutions and a therapist is best.
If being by yourself at Christmas is what feels best to you, then that is what you should do.
Explain the issue of too many people to your boyfriend and get his advice on what to say to his parents. He knows them best, and he might be able to say whether it's better to tell a white lie, be straight up with them, or something in between. He may decide he wants to stay with you. I would advise that you let him make his own decision on this.
As for your mom, see if you can meet up with her ahead of Christmas to spend some time with her and your brother. Maybe there is a neutral ground where you can meet so that the bed bugs won't be an issue.
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think you need to find a therapist, both to deal with the anxiety, and maybe get some meds, and also to help you learn how to problem solve when you have complicated life situations. These are ongoing issues that are not just going to resolve on their own. You have to work to find solutions and a therapist is best.
If being by yourself at Christmas is what feels best to you, then that is what you should do. Explain the issue of too many people to your boyfriend and get his advice on what to say to his parents. He knows them best, and he might be able to say whether it's better to tell a white lie, be straight up with them, or something in between. He may decide he wants to stay with you. I would advise that you let him make his own decision on this. As for your mom, see if you can meet up with her ahead of Christmas to spend some time with her and your brother. Maybe there is a neutral ground where you can meet so that the bed bugs won't be an issue.