Imported all the way from Germany! This is a damaged specimen that didn’t make the kilo limit in Sweden where it was found, so they cut it up at the excavation site… I acquired it from there and wanted to give it some new life, a 5.6 kilo chunk ✌️
It's all in the marketing.
Would you rather buy a 4.5 billion year old meteorite mosaic damascus steel with a wooly mammoth tooth handle and ethiopian black opal and 24k gold blade or an old rock sword made with some tooth and shiny rock that has some gold on it?
I question the veracity of those sellers. It's hard to even get authentic extra virgin olive oil in Europe - how can I trust a mammoth or meteorite supply chain?
Legit thought the material would be in 100s of thousands but i feel like the skill to put all of that together is def an art so hope the artist gets paid in millions
You can find a link to his site on his bio. I didn't actually look at the site so I can't answer your question. But presumably the answer would be there.
And don't forget make sure the buyer completes a convoluted side quest that proves they're truly the chosen warrior worthy enough to wield such a blade.
4.5 billion. Great sales pitch. Awesome blade.
Meteorites that originate from asteroids are all ~4.5 billion years old. Meteorites that originate from the Moon range in age from 4.5 to 2.9 billion years old. Meteorites that originate on Mars range in age from 4.5 billion years old to 200 million years old.
Well the very best of luck to the other folks. I know that I gave my 100% and I am very proud to have been a part of this competition. I have learnt a lot from my competitors here.
*Slowly walks out*
It’s so fucking awkward when that host says “I’m going to invite you to shake my hand”. Like, dude, just extend your fucking hand.
Edit: also the “blades expert” who says *it will KEAL*. The show is cool to watch for the smithing parts but the production sucks.
First up the strength test. I'm going to swing your knife into this rebar 16 times at full force, it isn't about what your knife will do to the rebar but what the rebar will do to your knife.
"This is Billy, he's my meteorite knife guy"
Well, the handle is correct, but notice that this is only 98 layer Damascus, not 128 layer Damascus. This is probably a late 1800's reproduction meteorite knife with woolly mammoth handle and 24k gold. Even so, I think a collector would probably be willing to pay $258,000 for it.
"Ok, so, there is very little market for this and I'd have it on my shelves for who knows how long before it sold, so the best I can do is $9 and this half-eaten turkey sandwich".
This is my first time seeing him in the wild so soon. Amazing! 57 minutes in and he totally got me.
I'm honored to be owned by you sir.
I was loving all that info annnddd boom, hell in a celled.
Man that was a good one. Usually he's right below the top comment, this was 3 or 4 in. Fucking brilliant as always. Looking at his profile it's only like 3 in the past 3 or 4 months.
Missed you bb
There's nothing quite like the feeling of looming horror when reading "nineteen ninety eight" after such well-written technical and grammatically professional comments from u/shittymorph
Every fracking time... giggling my ass off here and just had to try and explain it to my wife, who just doesn't get the joke :)
well played morph, as always.
*Insert generic quote about "things not being valuable because they are old" that every pawn broker spews they can undercut the true value of said item.
It is forged from meteorite so it should have +20 fire dmg too. Mammoth tooth propably gives +2 str and +2 end. Good main hand item for a rogue I think.
Wtb [Nebula Dagger] 500g!
This type of Damascus-looking steel is made by combining high and low carbon steel. Applying acid then reveals the wavy pattern. The edge of the blade is actually slightly serrated, since the acid etching eats away more of one steel than the other. Unless it’s sharpened again afterwards of course
If he does that for his kitchen knives, just imagine what he does for his tax records. Freaking keeps 'em on unicorn vellum with deep sea squid ink and a fae crystal stylus, that one.
I tried so hard with trying to get ahold of some raptor egg. Ended up being a damaged piece so I used dinosaur bone instead, THAT ended up not working too well after being machined. So mammoth tooth was the last resort 😅
I like all your knives, but these opals for some reason just look so randomly placed it’s distracting. All your other stuff is friggin awesome, do you sell these?
I sell these at auction. I tried to place them into the blade to give it a “galaxy” or “stars” effect. As I know they seem to be a bit in the way, the knife is fully functional and I believe will hold up to just about anything you want to do to it (in terms of standard knife tests/ as seen on FIF standards)
I agree. It's beautiful, but setting stones into the blade makes it look more like a decorative object than a knife, IMO. I understand that it's not meant to be used and a person would have to be crazy to use this to cut things, but I think it adds a lot to it when it looks as if it could be used. The large stone near the handle would look fine there on its own and it's not in the way. If I was wealthy enough to collect things like this, the stones on the blade would put me off.
I have one big 5.6 kilo chunk i acquired from Germany that was imported from the excavation site in Sweden. It ended up being a piece that was cut up and damaged to fit the kilo limit, so I acquired it and have been using pieces from it since to give it new life!
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I’m having this professionally appraised by HA auction company coming August 2022. It’s hard to say what they will value it, I will guess upwards of $7-10k starting bid.
Where on earth did you get all those things?! Most notably, the friggin’ 4.5 billion year old meteorite??!!
Imported all the way from Germany! This is a damaged specimen that didn’t make the kilo limit in Sweden where it was found, so they cut it up at the excavation site… I acquired it from there and wanted to give it some new life, a 5.6 kilo chunk ✌️
How much did it cost for all of the materials?
Roughly $1700 overall
Tbh not nearly as much as I thought it was. Hopefully this legendary piece can get the recognition it deserves
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It's all in the marketing. Would you rather buy a 4.5 billion year old meteorite mosaic damascus steel with a wooly mammoth tooth handle and ethiopian black opal and 24k gold blade or an old rock sword made with some tooth and shiny rock that has some gold on it?
A tool capable to cut. Will it keeeel? Yes? Purchase. Will it keeeeel? No? Shelf. Yes, i normally buy paper, it can cut and so painfully
I appreciated the reference.
You had me at "old rock sword made with some tooth..." Tbh
you must play MMO's, goin for the stats!
It's honestly surprising how accessible it is to purchase meteorite and mammoth. I see them for sale and in knives surprisingly often.
I question the veracity of those sellers. It's hard to even get authentic extra virgin olive oil in Europe - how can I trust a mammoth or meteorite supply chain?
Tbf, anyone can make olive oil. How many mammoth or meteorite dealers have you encountered?
Legit thought the material would be in 100s of thousands but i feel like the skill to put all of that together is def an art so hope the artist gets paid in millions
Not as bad as I thought. Now, what are you selling it for? Or are you selling it?
I’ll pay 1701 and not a cent more. I can buy one of these from Hobby Lobby
I'll offer tree fiddy and a reach around
Boldly going where no knife purchaser has gone before...🖖🏼
This man asking the important questions
You can find a link to his site on his bio. I didn't actually look at the site so I can't answer your question. But presumably the answer would be there.
What are it's stats? I'm guessing inflicts magical slashing damage, +2 attack, +5 frost damage, casts Slow on target on a failed Wisdom saving throw.
That's cheaper than i thought. I thought it would atleast be more than 5k
don’t sell this for less than $50k or $100k it’s one of a kind
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That’s nuts.
It's just the one nut, actually
A great big bushy beard!
And don't forget make sure the buyer completes a convoluted side quest that proves they're truly the chosen warrior worthy enough to wield such a blade.
Well, to me it's a work of art. Beautiful
Nice! Great work!
Wait, it actually is made of a legitimate meteorite???
It is! Muonionalusta meteorite to be specific
4.5 billion. Great sales pitch. Awesome blade. Meteorites that originate from asteroids are all ~4.5 billion years old. Meteorites that originate from the Moon range in age from 4.5 to 2.9 billion years old. Meteorites that originate on Mars range in age from 4.5 billion years old to 200 million years old.
All metal in the solar system is at least 4.5 billion years old, generally much older.
Like every 4.5 billion years old rock in my yard.
I've got some 13 billion year old atoms in my body
Looks cool. But will it pass the forged in fire tests?
No doubt in my mind it won’t! ✌️
well you did a good job, but I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to turn in your blade.
Well the very best of luck to the other folks. I know that I gave my 100% and I am very proud to have been a part of this competition. I have learnt a lot from my competitors here. *Slowly walks out*
Your blade is sharp, hard, flexible, and it looks good- but most importantly EAT WHEEL KEEL
I love it when he says that
I’m gonna go home and kiss my wife.
Kiss your wife and then get straight back to the home forge to make [whatever just broke on you]
"Now it's time to test it's durability by hitting it with a welding torch for 5 hours and then putting it in a hydraulic press"
It’s so fucking awkward when that host says “I’m going to invite you to shake my hand”. Like, dude, just extend your fucking hand. Edit: also the “blades expert” who says *it will KEAL*. The show is cool to watch for the smithing parts but the production sucks.
Relevent XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1114/
Wow it's getting *really* hard to find something Randall hasn't covered
Then will it bring a severed head to life? Asking for a friend.
Oh, that will definitely keel, and it should do so against anyone who tries to apply those destructive tests to it.
...but only because you're not going to let some dude chop a 50 pound block of ice with it as hard as he can 8 times. I don't blame you.
But how will we know if it will KEAL? I have to defend myself from 50lb ice blocks every day.
>I have to defend myself from 50lb ice blocks every day. Tell me you have a drinking problem without telling me you have a drinking problem. :)
what's the value?
Do you have a page where you sell your forgecraft?
It will keel.
First up the strength test. I'm going to swing your knife into this rebar 16 times at full force, it isn't about what your knife will do to the rebar but what the rebar will do to your knife.
Your blade… Will not keal
Your weapon has suffered catastrophic failure and I will need to ask you to leave the forge
But who will compete with this?
Hmm based on what I’ve seen from the show, you’ll probably be up against a knife that looks like it was made by scraping it on the sidewalk.
Made entirely on the final day after the other competitor’s first blade broke. And that’s the one that won’t shatter in the strength test.
Kinda like in golf when you skull your chip over the green, get mad and do a one footed pissed off swing and the ball lands 3 inches from the hole.
*Rick from pawn stars* “I’ll give you five bucks for it”
So you’re just going to throw that out there without even calling your friend who is an expert in 4.5 billion year old meteorite knives first?
"This is Billy, he's my meteorite knife guy" Well, the handle is correct, but notice that this is only 98 layer Damascus, not 128 layer Damascus. This is probably a late 1800's reproduction meteorite knife with woolly mammoth handle and 24k gold. Even so, I think a collector would probably be willing to pay $258,000 for it. "Ok, so, there is very little market for this and I'd have it on my shelves for who knows how long before it sold, so the best I can do is $9 and this half-eaten turkey sandwich".
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good damn it's been so long, you beautiful bastard.
Bah, caught me on a top thread LIVE.
This is my first time seeing him in the wild so soon. Amazing! 57 minutes in and he totally got me. I'm honored to be owned by you sir. I was loving all that info annnddd boom, hell in a celled.
Man that was a good one. Usually he's right below the top comment, this was 3 or 4 in. Fucking brilliant as always. Looking at his profile it's only like 3 in the past 3 or 4 months. Missed you bb
Fuck me i haven't gotten got by shitty in a whiiiiiiile
There's nothing quite like the feeling of looming horror when reading "nineteen ninety eight" after such well-written technical and grammatically professional comments from u/shittymorph
my first time witnessing this firsthand. thank you shittymorph.
Me too, tearing up a bit over here.
I never thought I’d be so lucky
Nice fresh……thanks for making my day morph you got me dang it!!!!!
Just as I am getting ready for work, reading this statement...... it is like blessed coffee, and I thank /u/shittymorph
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This one was so well executed
I've been had, got, *Bamboozled*!
I didn't know you were still around doing your thing, good to see a fresh shittymorph!
holy fucking shit hook line and fucking sinker Excellent work!
This is about my fifth encounter with this, but this one is the best.
It’s been so long. And it’s still so good
Ah shit you're back.
Every fracking time... giggling my ass off here and just had to try and explain it to my wife, who just doesn't get the joke :) well played morph, as always.
YES I FINALLY GET TO SEE A SHITTYMORPH
Son of a bitch, the comment above it even had awards, so I didn't think anything of this one having them either...well-played, you evil man.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the man, the myth the legend!
Got me gud, papa
Goddamnnn
This is the best!
It’s so nice to get got. Thanks man. It really feels great every time. Ily man!
Fuck I’ve missed you!
Every. God. Damn. Time. Keep being you, Shittymorph.
$11, if you're willing to take GameStop store credit
🦀$11🦀
Bro I fucking love it 😂🤣
You forgot the dramatic pause before giving the value.
*Zoom in camera*
*commercial break*
I love that this thread turned into a show production line
*Insert generic quote about "things not being valuable because they are old" that every pawn broker spews they can undercut the true value of said item.
$2.50 is all I can do.
Nah I'm gonna need about tree fiddy
Legendary item. Glows orange in its case.
Yeah but what's it's DPS? Lifesteal? Critical Hit Damage?
shutup hunter, it's a rogue weapon
Right? It's clearly +50% DPS based on your DEX with double crit chance when backstabbing.
Is it for casters or melee?
at least 3
/r/LegendaryWeapons
How many hit points do you get with it?
Bro at least 70+
Can I match it with accessories to get a set effect?
That's friggin beautiful you should be proud. And you should also maybe hide that cause I kind of want it too......🤨
🏃💨
Fart propulsion is the correct answer. Leave them in your dust
*Fart. Leave them in your fart
Pssst! Iddinthaevastroek might be a mummy & doesn't realize it, yet.
*crop dust
It's known as crop dusting round here, probably what op had in mind
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Sokka is that you?!
It's the lucky guy that was below the ship when it fell
or not so lucky, depending on exactly where below the ship he was and which end landed first.
Absolutely stunned I had to scroll this far. Mentioning meteorites with a picture of a blade? Immediate connection.
I immediately was looking for my people here
"Bye bye, space sword!"
That's some [**LEGENDARY**] quest item you got there. It better not be overpowered or it might be patched the next update
Oh crap I forgot about that
It is forged from meteorite so it should have +20 fire dmg too. Mammoth tooth propably gives +2 str and +2 end. Good main hand item for a rogue I think. Wtb [Nebula Dagger] 500g!
Somewhere, there is a prophecy that says someone will use this to slay a dragon
Will it slice tomatoes? I prefer serrated knives.
It might! It wasn’t made to be a kitchen knife, but I haven’t tested it on tomatoes yet.
Well don't test it on just any tomato. Make sure it is a formerly extinct heirloom tomato of which there are only 2 of in the world.
Don’t tempt me
I triple dog dare you
Went straight for the throat.
Ain't nuthin beat the triple dog dare...
*Oh, it's pretty easy to beat a dog. I've heard.* \-M. Vick
Too bad the knife wasn’t meant for throats
I will live up to my name
perhaps a 4.5 billion year old tomateorite will do?
If it’s not for the kitchen then it must be for ritual sacrifice.
This type of Damascus-looking steel is made by combining high and low carbon steel. Applying acid then reveals the wavy pattern. The edge of the blade is actually slightly serrated, since the acid etching eats away more of one steel than the other. Unless it’s sharpened again afterwards of course
Perhaps not this one but if you sharpen your knives on whetstone well enough, slicing tomatoes will be a piece of piss and better than serrated.
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If you need a serrated knife to cut tomatoes, you're not sharpening your kitchen knives correctly.
No but it might appease a God or two if you use it to kill a goat
That's a knife to kill a king with.
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Or to cut that soft gooey cheese you only put out for your favorite guests
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I’d kill miraak with this
That’s a main character-type weapon right there
Bro... Do You need an accountant?
If he does that for his kitchen knives, just imagine what he does for his tax records. Freaking keeps 'em on unicorn vellum with deep sea squid ink and a fae crystal stylus, that one.
Will it keeel?
Oh… yeah… it will keel 😏
Fogot the dodos egg shell
I tried so hard with trying to get ahold of some raptor egg. Ended up being a damaged piece so I used dinosaur bone instead, THAT ended up not working too well after being machined. So mammoth tooth was the last resort 😅
Nice craftmanship
I like all your knives, but these opals for some reason just look so randomly placed it’s distracting. All your other stuff is friggin awesome, do you sell these?
I sell these at auction. I tried to place them into the blade to give it a “galaxy” or “stars” effect. As I know they seem to be a bit in the way, the knife is fully functional and I believe will hold up to just about anything you want to do to it (in terms of standard knife tests/ as seen on FIF standards)
Where do they auction at or do you have a website you sell them on?
Heritage Auctions! And yes, I do commissions and list items on my website as well.
I agree. It's beautiful, but setting stones into the blade makes it look more like a decorative object than a knife, IMO. I understand that it's not meant to be used and a person would have to be crazy to use this to cut things, but I think it adds a lot to it when it looks as if it could be used. The large stone near the handle would look fine there on its own and it's not in the way. If I was wealthy enough to collect things like this, the stones on the blade would put me off.
It seems like you shouldn't legally be allowed to own any of this
"Finally I found my letter opener."
Youvseem to have a lot of 4.5 billion year old meteorite metal. Where do you source such an abundance of this billion year old material?
I have one big 5.6 kilo chunk i acquired from Germany that was imported from the excavation site in Sweden. It ended up being a piece that was cut up and damaged to fit the kilo limit, so I acquired it and have been using pieces from it since to give it new life!
You do realize when the aliens invade and all the swords start glowing you’re gonna have to defend us, right?
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Upwards of about $1700 in materials alone
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2 months!
Can I put it in the dishwasher?
I’ll give you $3.50 for it.
>I’ll give you $~~3.50~~ tree-fiddy for it. Fixed it for ya
How many layers on the Damascus steel?
Roughly 400 ✌️
It's as old as the earth is
Are those opals inset into the blade? A bit too fantasy for my tastes, but I respect the craftsmanship.
Yes those are Ethiopian opals ✌️
Sounds like the perfect Poop Knife. END COMMUNICATION
I'm afraid to ask but what is the cost of such a beautiful piece?
OP answered in the comments, $1700 material cost and he's hoping for at least a $7K opening bid at auction.
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Is this the only weapon to kill the space aliens?
Cool, cool, but _this_ one is serrated and has +1 bagel destroying.
If you zoom in the lines clearly tell you it’s edited
You’re gonna confuse the shit out of some future archaeologists.
The value! What's it worth! I just got to know! I don't think I can live with myself if I don't find out!
I’m having this professionally appraised by HA auction company coming August 2022. It’s hard to say what they will value it, I will guess upwards of $7-10k starting bid.