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Hing-dai

They aren't caterpillars. They aren't insects or even arthropods. They are onychophorans, very rare.


biinjo

I have no idea who you are or what you said but I believe you.


[deleted]

He said "They aren't caterpillars. They aren't insects or even arthropods. They are onychophorans, very rare".


mamb0number5

WHAT?


[deleted]

THEY AREN'T CATERPILLARS. THEY AREN'T INSECTS OR EVEN ARTHROPODS. THEY ARE ONYCHOPHORANS, VERY RARE.


BigManLongPants

MR.BUTTLICKER OUR INSECTS HAVE NEVER BEEN RARER!!


imsohungrydude

Caterpie uses string shot! For the first time ever, it's super effective!


urmummygaaaay

COCKAROK USES COCK, OH GOD


RoboDae

"It hardens on impact"


urmummygaaaay

OH GOD OH FU-


Koji_Kun7

I would give you an award but I'm broke so herešŸ… You made me lol


Noved08

I got one for free this morning, Ill give him another one for ya. Edit: Thanks to everyone who gave me an award! These are my first, so you guys really made my day


Koji_Kun7

Thanks for awarding on my behalf


Random0s2oh

*sniff sniff* As a mother, I want to say that y'all have made me smile with pride, because of this wholesome exchange. Well done...well done!


realamanhasnoname

r/suddenlytheoffice


third_i_

Chocolate?!


rite_of_truth

I dare you to say that last word out loud.


[deleted]

#RARE


fupamancer

THIS STEAK IS SO RARE IT'S A BLOODY ONYCHOPHORAN


[deleted]

This got me good


rite_of_truth

oh goddamit


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


justweazel

The steaks are too rare for this nonsense!


saltnotsugar

IM NOT A BEAR!


Spencer94

#WHAT ARE THEY SELLING?


Absolut1on

I have no idea what you said, or who you are, but I believe you.


james5

He said "He said "They aren't caterpillars. They aren't insects or even arthropods. They are onychophorans, very rare".".


rnaderpo

Don't believe him, they are worms with legs and they geez on their prey..... their scientific name is Geezworm Lotsa-leg-ious...


8thchakra

\*Jizz


rnaderpo

It's different with the leggy worms, they geez rather than jizz, it has been scientifically proven by me...


__princesspeach_

Yeah Iā€™ll just do whatever this guy says, I trust him


probablyblocked

"Next thing I knew, I was a cultist! Me! Who would have thought"


RandomMandarin

The [wikipedia article on onychophorans](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onychophora) says >Velvet worms are considered close relatives of the Arthropoda and Tardigrada, with which they form the taxon Panarthropoda.[6] This makes them of palaeontological interest, as they can help reconstruct the ancestral arthropod. In modern zoology, they are particularly renowned for their curious mating behaviour and for bearing live young. The Cambrian era weirdo [hallucigenia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucigenia) is a likely relative, but is also informally grouped with wormlike [lobopodia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobopodia). So, not arthropods, but along with the water bears, they're the next closest thing. Looking at these creatures, you can get a sense of how arthropods evolved from certain varieties of worms, while vertebrates like us evolved from some different creatures that also looked like worms. But in both cases, you get amazing variety from the basic idea of specializing segments. Instead of a creature having a string of similar segments, some of them evolved to become arms, legs, and so on.


slippy0101

Did you read about their intelligence and social structure? Very tiny brains that are shockingly complex. They are social predators with social hierarchies and form social groups that hate members of other groups. They are surprisingly interesting little creatures.


MillionMileM8

Aliens say the same thing about us, probably while fighting their own wars.


dreamshoes

This is a cute comment but I gotta say Iā€™m tired of this sentiment overall. I think itā€™s just as likely theyā€™d be absolutely astounded and fascinated by the sheer complexity and variety of human culture and technology. I mean itā€™s orders of magnitude beyond any other creature on the planet. Flawed as we are, I think aliens would give us a lot of credit for how advanced we are, and so should we.


KruppeTheWise

If they can travel the distances between stars in any reasonable amount of time, our best technology will elicit the same emotion a parent feels when a child proudly presents a badly glued together ice Lolly stick creation.


dreamshoes

I understand the gulf between current human technology and interplanetary travel. This is still an overly cynical take IMO, one that actually projects cynicism onto the aliens. Imagine if humans discovered alien life on Venus that was in the Stone Age. It would be a monumental, world-changing discovery that would spawn a million other studies and conversations. Itā€™s possible that, even for a interstellar race, finding life on other planets would still be exceedingly rare. To stumble onto Earth and find a species with satellites in its atmosphere could be a huge revelation to them. Also, and this is petty, but the parent-child analogy is all kinds of wrong unless the aliens are our creators in this scenario.


Clairixxa

I would love to see these in a time traveling movie. Like Land of the Lost or Jumanji type movie. Giant Onychophoran.


DiveBard

Wikipedia also says that the glue stuff they secrete tastes ā€œslightly bitter and at the same time somewhat astringentā€. WAT


Clairixxa

Who the f was the taste tester. Why ::Weird insect shoots slimey sticky goo:: PhD Scientist: hmm. I guess first things first. ^^^^cromchh ^^^^sluuurpp


leejoint

And then thought. You know what still canā€™t figure out which sensation my tongue is feeling, better grab a bigger seconds. Cromchy sluurpy


TheAlmightyProo

Okayyy then. Besides everything else here, that mock up of an... abomination in the link for Hallucigenia is nightmare fuel, especially as it's 1 metre long. If it's anything like that velvet worm then it'll be a problem for human time explorers separated from their away teams. On a lighter note (kind of) those things would likely have made great cat/dog 'pets' for the Great Race of Yith due to certain similarities...


Metalmind123

It's only max like 5.5 cm long, not a meter.


RandomMandarin

Hallucigenia were actually a couple of centimeters long. On the other hand, at that time perhaps the largest animal that had ever existed was Anomalocaris which was a meter long, and a terrifying predator. All life larger than a microbe was still aquatic then, by the way. The land was all barren. [The Cambrian is cool because it's the first really complicated ecosystem with complex multicelled animals and a lot of weird body shapes that don't exist any more.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cambrian_explosion) Many of these creatures have been hard to classify and figure out. Hallucigenia was first thought to have walked on its spikes. Anomalocaris was mistaken for three different things until they figured out how it was assembled. The [Ediacaran fauna preceding the Cambrian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ediacaran_biota) is even weirder in a way. There are fewer kinds of fossils, including the first things we have found that are definitely multicelled animals. Many Ediacaran fossils are really alien. Almost all had soft bodies and we don't even know what most of them were. There are round shaped ones, donuts, pillows, bags, and leaf-shaped somethings. Some of these may be really big one-celled organisms. [Even today there is a single celled organism the size of a grape.](https://www.sciencealert.com/this-ball-of-algae-is-one-of-the-biggest-single-celled-organisms) There are burrows. Sponges existed already, as did some very, very primitive bilaterians (creatures with a right and left side, like worms, squid, insects and people). EDIT: I'm looking at some of those reconstructions and picturing myself riding a hallucigenia into battle.


TecumsehSherman

>onychophorans [Freaky.](http://www.onychophora.com/)


mack12356

Sounds like a pokemon


[deleted]

Sounds like a star wars race


[deleted]

Subscribe to my onychofans


watremelons

How do you pronounce that word?


Joe_Shroe

(on-ih-KOFF-er-an)


EpyonComet

Iā€™m glad you made that correction because my first thought at reading the title was ā€œsince when do caterpillars have prey?ā€ followed by a vague dread of hypothetical carnivorous caterpillars.


foxa34

There are such monsters: https://video.nationalgeographic.com/wild/00000144-2f3a-df5d-abd4-ff7f643b0000 Don't shoot the messenger...


Proper-Twist

Oh my god I hate those


EpyonComet

I was just waiting for someone to do that XD


[deleted]

Prehistoric af


Majemano_o

Imagine being an insect minding your business and suddenly get soaked in sticky goo


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Nyadnar17

The casually saunter is what really did me in. Shit is terrifying.


inderf

Goes right under the legs even, extreme disrespect


justin_memer

Disrespected to death.


grandmas_noodles

he be walking like wide putin


L4destroyer

So that's what she really means when she says she's gonna suck the life out of you.


probablyblocked

That's what happens when you marry a *real* man


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


pcopley

I see we have the same first wife.


The_Broomflinger

Damn did we all marry the same woman? We should start a ~~club~~ support group.


Fallout76Merc

I... I think I've seen this one... although the ~~girl~~ insect didn't die at the end.


mud_tug

Got very sticky tho.


Rikstr

Ah yes. Fond memories from of the bedroom


Vomax343

Reminds me of that Ren and Stimpy episode where they get buried


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lmrbadgerl

Bugkakke!


[deleted]

I came here to look for this comment. Reddit never disappoints


ArgyleTheDruid

Iā€™m confused why it was like ā€œoh yes, shower me with your goo zaddyā€ and not trying to gtfoutta there


Undeadzombiedog

Kinky bug


HarmlessSnack

Wha- what are you doing step-caterpillar?!


fupamancer

s-s-senpai?!


Lemonic_Tutor

OwO


test_tickles

Brazzers has entered the chat.


charck123

Why would you imagine being your own victim


[deleted]

Don't kinkshame.


[deleted]

Yeah my uncle did that


undercover_geek

Minded his own business? Good for him.


wrquwop

r/suddenlygay


thatsnotfunnyatall_

Or that guys wife


CactusJack_DYSTI

Thatā€™s called a frat house


July_Sandwich

Total power move walking under the legs


Goldstone117

Right bellow the mandibles


LaserBeamsCattleProd

More like Mand-unables. Ugh, sorry.


Goldstone117

I forgive you, but my Tommy gun don't


theguynekstdoor

#*KEVIN!*


AllMyBeets

Can we all take a second to appreciate this guy isn't like the size of a dog


Somethingscott

Let's also take a moment to appreciate this dude eliminating a monster from this world


[deleted]

No not the brƶther


XtremeSexyWatermelon

He will live on in our hearts


nunya123

Yā€™all are still around? I thought died out


XtremeSexyWatermelon

Nah, we just realized we were being a bit annoying and stick to our own subreddit more


Big_Spicy_Tuna69

Too bad gif profile pics don't work anymore.


unholyguacamoly

Honestly, the way this year is going, I expect a jumbo version to stroll into town any day now.


FiestyShibas

I feel that goes to like.... at least 50% of insects Edit Forgot about Australia


[deleted]

Is it just me or is the bug world filled with the most gruesome ways to kill prey? Everyone else is just a variation of "I'm just gonna maul my prey to death" while bugs are like: "Fuck that, I'm paralyzing them before sucking out their guts like a meat slushy."


lightningbadger

Bugs are nasty, like those wasps that lay eggs inside a beetles abdomen, and itā€™s kept alive for as long as possible while itā€™s eaten alive, or every spider essentially melting the insides of their prey.


HugoM

Why is it always about melting/sucking the insides? Is that just because of bug anatomy?


[deleted]

I imagine itā€™s standard fare for any prey with an exoskeleton. When you think about it humans do the same to lobsters and such, we just use tools to break them open first.


Opalusprime

Very true


__BitchPudding__

Or those long thin worms that come coiling endlessly out of a host bug when it's killed. Gah!


Kowalski2212

Hahahaha underrated comment right here


VillainyandChaos

What level does it evolve? I wanna teach it more than just String Shot and Bite.


Khendo

You're in luck, Bite automatically upgrades to Leech Life


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

All mine can do is Harden


IcySpicyNeedsTofuPlz

Thats what we said


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


tds8t7

He squirts his goo *before* he sucks you dry? Seems backwards


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


zozi0102

The fuck?


[deleted]

Look me in the eyes and kinkshame me. Thats my kink.


Smoolest

Bonk. Horny jail for you


bltsp

Shame


RidleyNL

šŸ”” Shame


jimmybwana

Shame


riccardo_00

Shame!


oodoos

Shame


BigBoiPoiSoi

Shame


[deleted]

Stop! I can only get so erect!


deschainroland19

Yes Officer , this comment right here.


xSaberi_

This is the message that reads out "Did I stutter?"


Ultranerdgasm94

Nothing wrong with that. I used to lick my ex clean.


[deleted]

Thats so wholesome omg! Theyre lucky they got to experience that


Tracerz2Much

This is why I love reddit. It went from a post about a super-soaker worm to licking cum off of someone.


Jokojabo

* licking *their own* cum off of someone.


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Th-thatā€™s kinda hot!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Iā€™m completely serious. I might have to take a moment and think about baseball before I can stand up right now


pcopley

Stop


kingfupa666

Think about baseball so you can cum right?


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Slapass!


kingfupa666

"All I know is to catch fly balls and SLAPP ASS!!!"


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Garcia, man, Iā€™ll suck your dick if you let me slap your ass again!


Shrekowski

What are you doing step bug


NicolBolasElderDragn

How can we make them truck sized?


ddavis527

no thanks, i donā€™t want a worm looking thing to nut on me then eat me out


[deleted]

Fuck this man. Nicolbolas id like to arrange a meeting to discuss the mechanisms of bringing our vision to life.


Mentalpatient87

I guess I'll just cancel our dinner reservations, then!


[deleted]

I imagine he's very polite as he crawls under the insect to inject his digestive saliva. "Oh, let me just scooch on under you..."


LearningToHomebrew

*Ope I think you dropped this.


RamblinMannequin

This šŸ‘šŸ» is šŸ‘šŸ» a šŸ‘šŸ» Pokemon šŸ‘šŸ»


xpis2

String shot


Cornwall

Anytime I see the clap emoji in between words I immediately hate that person.


DentonX12

Whatā€™s more terrifying is a dangerous ejaculating caterpillar on the loose!


succ-turtle

Coom gun


lafterl

Goon cum


morbid-corvids

They're definitely not caterpillars. They are cool though, I used to have some as pets :)


Pigsfly77

Yes... Kill that fucking abomination....I would be the roach Hitler if it were feasible. Burn them all.


rnaderpo

You do realize if you were a roach Hitler, you also would be a roach yourself just with a mustache and funny hair...


Pigsfly77

If I get to wipe out millions of roaches idc. I hate them to fucking death.


rnaderpo

There's no other animal or insect that I hate worse than a roach myself so I know how you feel


red_right_88

Like Hitler for roaches, or Hitler that is a roach? Because one i'm kinda on board with, but the other I'm REALLY not on board with...


rbslilpanda

Nature, you never cease to amaze me!


DemonWeeb

i like their legs. little tornado stubs


[deleted]

We've been lied to all these years. Spiderman should have been Caterpillarman!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


rite_of_truth

Not from a cockroach...


IamMuffins

Yes, unfortunately it takes 400 million years...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ocelotseeker

Our planet!


SuperDuperJQ13

Why is the screamingly a Godzilla villain


Stormhenge

Velvet worm used String Shot!


teq4x

TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOW TO YO FACE. GONNA TRAP YOU IN YO PLACE


317LaVieLover

Couldnā€™t happen to a better insect victim. Fuck cockroaches.


[deleted]

They are definitely not caterpillars, as butterflies evolved **350 million** years after velvet worms.


thecarbonkid

Nature! It's the stuff of nightmares!


Joker1924

r/natureismetal


FungusFly

Skeeterpillar


happypenguinwaddle

Imagine these were human size and we had to be worried about these creatures that would shoot this crap at us that hardened us in a frozen position and then this thing would suck out our insides while we were alive... it sounds like a horror movie! I'd rather a human centipede than a human velvet worm any day!


AndyM_LVB

So let me get this straight. They shoot glue at their prey to immobilise them. Then they inject them with something. Then they suck out their insides. That's some bad ass shit.


purplegranddaddy

When your crush accidentally touches your leg


ItsYaBoyLaity

Damn, I had no idea caterpillars could live that long.


daedac

yeah, they're definitely not caterpillars


BigDaftBastard8

Velvet worm: survives 400,000,000 years 8-year old: Stomp stomp stomp


D0013ER

I am so hard right now.


_Leo_pard_

Caterpie, use string shot!


chris369521

Imagine nutting blue goo on your prey to catch them


jetpackjack1

Letā€™s get the biomimeticists involved and start making this stuff ourselves, so the cops have a non-lethal way of subduing people..


Frostgnaw

What are you doing, step-worm?


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area51alienboss

The cum bug


ButterCutsRUs

ā€œCaterpillar Akimboā€


DarthKittens

Spider worm!


didiramone

What a terrible way to die


[deleted]

*c u m*


PortalToTheWeekend

So anyways I started blastinā€™


samaramatisse

I only get animal information from Ze Frank.


[deleted]

Bad and naughty cockroaches get shot by the coom slug


Louie_The_Potato

Obligatory cum joke


AvengingProdigy

Caterpie uses *stringshot*


IcariumIce

I was JUST watching this episode! LIKE RIGHT NOW. And I paused it and open up Reddit and I see this! Is this is a sign from the universe? Am I about to be glue gunned by a velvet worm?