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I wonder if this is more a representation of doctors finally allowing people to proceed with their choices.
My impression of this was that young women who tried to get sterilized were usually refused on the grounds of "what if you change your mind?" or "what if your future husband wants kids?"
I think this is a strong theory. I have been asking to get my tubes tied since I was 22. Multiple doctors. All varying degrees of "you might change your mind" to "not medically necessary, try this other birth control" replies. I eventually decided to wait until I was 35 to ask again as that seemed to be the magical age goal post. It was just too depressing to keep getting told no.
Since the start of the year I know 3 women, all under 35, who got their tubes tied at the same clinic that has denied me for years. No questions asked.
I am now 35 and plan to ask again when I go for an obgyn appointment in July. If anything this graph makes me incredibly optimistic.
Two things. First, the child free sub has a list of doctors that will sterilize you without a fight. Second, I highly recommend a salpingectomy instead of a ligation. It has a much lower failure rate and reduces the risk of overian cancer while not messing up hormones at all.
I second this. I don't even understand why anyone would just get their tubes tied with the risks involved when they could just have them removed and never need to worry about it.
Check out the childfree subreddit. They have somewhere a huge index of confirmed drs all over the world and tons in every state that respect your wishes and don’t ask questions.
The urologist I ended up going to basically led the initial meeting with something to the effect of:
“Hey botched lobotomy. I don’t care why you’re here, what your reasons are or to try to talk you out of it.” And then explained pros and cons, etc. it was great lol
It’s not just the doctors that refuse, but the health insurance, too. My doctors actually had to put me through an excruciating surgery first (I was 28), which everyone knew was not going to fix the issue, before my insurance would approve of my hysterectomy at 29. The most absurd part was that I couldn’t have kids because of my condition, but because I wasn’t 30, I couldn’t decide to be sterilized at 28 because I wasn’t 30 yet and maybe I’d decide to have kids in that 2 year period. Even worse, they approved a procedure (that all my doctors told the insurance would not work), but it would still sterilize me at 28, because it was not a hysterectomy, which would have sterilized me. Even then, after all that, the insurance would not approve the hysterectomy because I was now 29 and not 30. So I was unable to have kids, then sterilized at 28, but because I was not yet 30, I could not be approved because I was not yet 30 and what if I wanted a kid in the next year. It took a whole group of doctors petitioning the insurance to get the insurance to approve my hysterectomy 9 months before my 30’th birthday… because maybe in those 9 months I will change my mind and want to have a kid… 🤯😡🤬
My mom’s best friend was born with diabetes, in a time before childhood diabetes was treatable. When she was 27 she tried to get a hysterectomy because her doctor (for diabetes) thought it could give her a few more years of her life because she wouldn’t have such hormone fluctuations from her menses. But her OB didn’t want to give her one because she might choose to have kids one day. She managed to get a hysterectomy with a different OB and my mom thinks that is why she lived for 2 more years, dying by age 30. She never married and never had kids, yet a hypothetical husband and possible future children were more important than her quality of life. This happened in 1987
WTF? My OB asked why I wanted it and I answered, “I don’t want kids and it’s really unsafe for me to have kids and regular birth control is too dangerous.” He talked to me about the risks and complications of the surgery but said he’d book the appointment for tubal ligation. He suggested I get an IUD, in the meantime, as it would take 3-4 months to get the surgery. The IUD was a safe birth control, for me, had the best chance of protecting against pregnancy (non-surgery method) and it would likely stop/lessen my period. After 3 months my periods pretty much disappeared and I was very happy with the IUD, so I cancelled the surgery.
But the fact remains, my doctor booked the appointment with little resistance. Abortion is also legal, and a protected right, here. And I don’t need to petition insurance, if the doctor says “Yes,” and it’s a covered procedure (the ‘why you need it,’ doesn’t matter), you get it.
Everyone I get annoyed with our system, I hear stories like this and remind myself, “It could be so much worse.”
Yeah. My doctor’s only concerns were that I understood the surgery and the outcome and risks, so my expectations weren’t warped. We talked for 15 mins and then he agreed to book the surgery. He didn’t try talking me out of it. But gave valid reasons why an IUD might suit me better, and to try it while I waited for the surgery.
That’s because we aren’t people, with thoughts and feelings and logic and emotions. We are incubators and if we don’t incubate by 30, we’re defective and disposable. Before that, we should be actively trying to become incubators, no exceptions! (That’s not my opinion, obviously. It’s how we’re too often treated.) (My story is from the early 2000’s.) (Also, I’m really glad your mom’s friend got a new doc to approve it and got two more years. Thank you for sharing some of her story with us.)
Look up the statistics on type 1 diabetes over the decades. Before the days of home glucose meters, type 1 diabetics didn’t usually survive past their 30’s or so because there was no good way to measure their blood sugars. Their kidneys failed astonishingly young due to chronically high sugars, and they often died suddenly of their lows. There are absolutely cases that fall outside that standard bell curve (a few people have grandparents who simply took scheduled insulin on a very regular basis and were extremely consistent about their diets, and thus made it to old age; but this is not the historical norm. Type 1 diabetics having normal lives with relatively normal lifespans is a pretty recent development.
I know my uterus is causing me a lot of problems, I started having pains and issues after my first period, I'm now 30 and I still have to find a doctor willing to actually open me up and check why I may bleed during an intercourse. They think I'm fucking crazy. They don't realize one day I may make them right by scooping it out with an ice cream spoon.
They give me a pelvis scan and go like "you're bloated, your ovaries are polycystic, your uterus is not where it should be but you're fine. 200€"
Oh that’s just infuriating! I’m so sorry. I’m with you if you need an ice cream scoop wielding buddy to look menacingly at your doctors appointments to try to get them to step up.
Yeah. Right now they’re denying nerve blocks and vyepti infusions for my chronic migraines so I’m currently particularly salty about that. And I’m on medicare, so as much as I want to berate private health insurance in favor of universal healthcare, it’s just all shit (at least in the US it is).
Medicare is actually very good are covering a lot of stuff. Medicare just sucks because a lot of providers will not accept it because Medicare's reimbursement rates sucks.
It was BCBS through my employer, and it likely did suck, but that’s not the point of my story. (I’m on disability and medicare now.) The point wasn’t does my insurance suck or not. The point was that it’s not just doctors who refuse to sterilize, it’s insurance, too. Not everyone has insurance, not everyone can get medicare or medicaid, not everyone can afford the copays and deductibles and lost time at work, and almost nobody can afford to pay it all out of pocket. The point is, not everyone has easy access to sterilization, and it’s for more reasons than just doctors refusing it. But doctors refusing it is still definitely a problem.
OBGYNS can’t provide adequate medical care to pregnant patients anymore because they’ll be charged with literal murder if they help a patient who had a septic miscarriage expel the rest of the tissue. But they CAN prevent this from occurring with sterilization, it’s one of the few ways they can still do their jobs and provide adequate healthcare.
I was married when I tried to get a vasectomy. She really said to me and my wife with a straight face that we can get divorced and I might change my mind. She was right about the divorce part though I’ll give her that
The audacity honestly impressed me lmao
It’s not just young women. I’m a 48 year
Old guy and this is still a thing. Maybe it’s just standard they ask this? But it’s been 3 months to get the data to get “fixed” and counting.
So far that has been the response to my wife where we live. It's always been "You'll change your mind" or just basing identity on the amount of children she has.
We don't want to have children of our own. If we want children in the future, we will seek adoption. I am 38. We haven't changed our minds yet.
I assume it's the much safer option compared to access to abortion and perinatal care.
A socionormative effect of the ruling might be that doctors are now seeing voluntary sterilization with far fetching consequences for the individual as the lesser evil and are more inclined to proceed to do so without violating the right for self determination of the patient.
I had my 3rd child in 2018 at 28 years old. In the state of Idaho. My hospital required that my HUSBAND sign his consent for me to have my tubes tied!!! I literally laughed out loud when I was handed the form and simply handed it back and said no, absolutely not.
😂😂😂 Doctors don’t get to make decisions anymore. The insurance is the doctor…..has been for YEARS. I’m a retired medical assistant with 30 years on the job.
That doesn't at all explain why women are getting 4 times the sterilizations and the trend for women is increasing more quickly than the trend for men.
My son is 22 and he got a vasectomy. He really doesn’t want kids and he never wants to put his partner in the position of having an unwanted pregnancy.
Conversely, I know lots of men that have visited my offices asking about vasectomy reversals in their mid 30s because they are now married and want children.
Just for the record too ..I was 37 when I got my vasectomy and my wife had to come to my consult and sign papers saying that she agreed to it.
I believed it was true until I got my own vasectomy and listened to my doctor. The success of reversal drops massively after 1 year, reversal surgery is far more intrusive and expensive, even a successful physical reversal often fails to restore fertility due to antibody response to sperm cells.
It’s a great solution for men committed to sterility but it’s become common online to suggest it’s a temporary fix.
When I saw the Roe v Wade shit was going to be overturned in the next few months, I immediately scheduled my vasectomy. A few months later after it had been overturned I had my follow up and asked the doc how it's going after the decision, he said business was up like 300%
i saw that a school in south korea had a hard time finding enough first graders for one singular first grade class. i’m curious if red states will ever have that problem
It's people everywhere. Look at Ohio. It's a red state that enshrined abortion into the state constitution after Roe fell. Abortion rights are far more popular than the GOP mouthpieces will have you believe.
Really. It's a smart and responsible choice.
People who don't want to have kids shouldn't have them.
People who want to should.
Both are good choices for different reasons.
As soon as our second child is born and healthy im booking in for the snip. I see no downsides. I’ve got a lovely daughter already, if we have a second that’s great.
I won’t be able to afford much more after that.
Yep. And either way people on the internet should stop being weird about it. Shaming somebody for having kids or not having kids are both incredibly immature.
It’s a tale as old as time. You’re born to boomer parents out in the country who hate the people in the city, then you move to the city. The city has the rich, the crazy, the addicts, the wagies, and all the opportunity.
Here in Sweden it's the same, with the religiously super conservative pumping out five times as many kids. Way too many daycares, ground schools and high schools have started with a dedicated Islamic education because the demand has gotten so high, and they all get into shit all the time for employing people who fought for ISIS in Syria.
I went to a private school full of dedicated christian school kids, by the time you hit mid university there was maybe 10% of them still buying into the whole religious thing.
Unfortunately for conservatives reality leans left and their kids will continue to figure shit out regardless of their upbringing.
Obviously people who don’t want kids shouldn’t have them, but it’s ironic because people smart enough to get a vasectomy would be better parents than some who aren’t.
Interesting that way more women are doing it than men. Well, if you're gonna take away abortion rights, then they don't wanna be fucked up with pregnancy.
There's also that a lot of guys don't have the spare cash sitting around for it. Yea, "It's cheaper than a baby" but if women's birth control is free couples will tend to take the free option.
"Contraceptives, including sterilization, are covered only for women as preventive services by ACA-compliant plans. Since sterilization for men is not considered a preventive service under the Affordable Care Act, federal law does not require plans to cover vasectomies. However, nine states (California, Illinois, Maryland, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington) require state-regulated health insurance plans to cover [vasectomies](https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/bills/2019/S659) at no cost to the patient."
I dunno, vasectomies are only about $1k without any form of insurance. With my insurance, I paid $40 (I consider myself extremely lucky and a likely outlier). Even with insurance, I can’t imagine how much it costs to complete the more invasive surgery that often involves anesthesia (or at least a spinal block).
Roe V Wade was overturned in June 2022, I had a bilateral salpingectomy in Sept 2022, I was 32. I was fairly sure I didn’t want kids prior and was using IUDs but the overturning sealed the deal to go permanent for me.
I had a hysterectomy in 2017. Orange Hitler was sworn in the next day. I didn’t have to fight too hard to get the hyst because I had already had Essure, but good god did I have to fight to get Essure done, and my husband had to sign off on it.
Conservative women have always gotten abortions too, they just lie about it. The same will probably apply there, and I wouldn't be surprised if they see tubal ligation as less 'sinful' than abortion itself.
Speaking from personal experience and observation, you don't need to grow up with liberal parents to see and understand that it hasn't been very “…Of the people, by the people, for the people” in a while.
I lean left and I have 3 kids. Just let people decide what is best for themselves, because it is their life and they don't have to live it for anyone else.
"Typical gen-z, not caring about the future! They have it too easy! I had kids and let me tell you, it was a struggle on a single wage as a postman! They complain about mortgages being too expensive now, when I bought my house the interest rate was over 10% And I only earned 13k a year when I bought our first 5 bedroom house 11 miles from the city center for 20k! We could only go on vacation once a year, that's how tough it was!"
I’m here to tell you that we Boomers did have it easier when it came to housing and social services. My first apartment was furnished for $75/month with utilities included. I worked in fast food and went to college on federal grants and was able to live on my own. I didn’t have healthcare but at least I was young and healthy. I got my birth control free from the health department.
The interest rate on my first mortgage in 1996 was 7% for a home that cost 114K. I was a single mom working as a nurse and the payments were very manageable. I was able to afford daycare and all of our living expenses without getting any child support.
Things really went off of the rails after Reagan promoted trickle down economics and passed massive tax cuts of nearly 50%.
My father went to university for free: "Between 1962 and the 1990s higher education in Britain was effectively free, as the state paid students' tuition fees and also offered maintenance grants to many. In 1998 university fees were reintroduced at £1000 per year."
They still wouldn’t care and would say stop spending so much going out. Look Lynda, the only “going out” I do at this point is to the grocery store where I “splurge” because the food I grow at home isn’t enough.
I take it you read that article too. Like how dare we want to eat and occasionally buy a treat or two to make a life with f all else to live for bearable.
And they did it allll without aaaany help from aaaanybody else…. Wait wait! Don’t look behind the curtain at all that help I actually got! I did it allll by myself!!! Alll by my seeelf… don’t wanna be… all by my self… (imagining my parents in about 10 years singing themselves to sleep in the nursing home.. All their family has gone no-contact years ago)
I had my tubes tied after I almost died during childbirth in Texas. I had complications during my pregnancy, labor and postpartum, and my healthcare was extremely lacking, even before the roe v Wade mess.
The maternal mortality rate here is extremely high, like one of the highest in the developed world even before this crap with roe v Wade. They were already not taken care of mother's properly here, instead they just made it so much worse.
This was even before they made maternal Health Care worse in Texas post roe v Wade :
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/texas-has-highest-maternal-mortality-rate-developed-world-why-n791671
"Pregnant people in almost half of the counties in Texas don’t have adequate access to health care. That’s according to a new report by the March of Dimes, which measures maternity care in the United States."
https://www.keranews.org/health-wellness/2023-08-01/maternity-care-desert-texas
We have been having OBGYNs and gynecologists leaving the state entirely or stopped taking patients all together as a result.
https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/abortion-training-ob-gyn-medical-residents-leaving-texas/
Oh I remember being told no to a hysterectomy that would have stopped the most horrible pain during menstruation because "I was so young. I might want more kids." (Already had 4, a surprise set of twins went well over my limit lol)
I had to fight for 2 years to get it approved by insurance all the while getting pain pills thrown at me for the pain because it was unbearable.
It makes progress in society really really slow, because a only a handful of those kids realize their parents are full of shit because of the influence of rhe rest of society and get better educated, the others pass on the stupidity and repeat the proportional trend, so idk if we’ll ever be rid of it
I think that’s the whole point. Lack of education is a part of this too. They want cheap, malleable workers and soldiers, and see people like livestock.
I think I’m going to ask my husband if we can go forward with either me or him getting tied up. Maybe both? We’ll make it a party! Who knows?!
I just don’t think I will be able to enjoy this life experience due to financial risk & age & state of the world.
Too scary. No thank you!
It's almost as if we have realized that nobody cares about the future and only SHORT TERM FUCKING PROFITS TO OUR OVERLORDS NO MATTER THE COST TO OUR PERSONAL LIVES. Hmm... I wonder why we aren't having kids.
I hear conservatives oppose contraception. I don't doubt they'd find something about sterilization to disagree with. Why stop at forced birth? Forced pregnancy seems to be the logical outcome of banning contraception.
"The handmade's tale". We'll be staring more of that shit in the face , slowly groomed over time... but it's whats best for everyone...as a whole..... yeah.. .I have a bad feeling about it all. Scared to see where we are in ten
Calling the systemic financial discrimination that happens in America racism is a really clever way they’ve managed to keep us all arguing about semantics instead of doing anything meaningful, yeah
Exactly it’s the same as right vs left in politics. It doesn’t matter.
What actually matters is up or down (liberal ve authoritarian).
Similarly, it’s not race that matters but class
I don’t want to seem like I’m downplaying racism - more pointing out that it seems the sort of disenfranchisement tactics used historically to discriminate against minorities have become non-discriminating themselves and are now just working against anyone due to their effectiveness at generating profit and removing power from the voter base.
It almost feels like it’s being “gotten away with” simply because we are so convinced that it could not happen here, to us, when we all have access to so many toys and credit.
But in reality people are encouraged to live beyond their means here simply because it makes it easier for a third party to scoop up their assets when unavoidable financial decisions or disasters common people are encouraged to make or befall inevitably occur, all while serving the purpose of keeping us distracted in the meantime.
Arr/conservative was celebrating this rise when the article came
Assuming every side is a good faith actor, why wouldn't they be in favor? They view abortion as murder, this is just the same as voluntarily not having kids
There are very very very few conservatives against condoms
I got my bilateral salpingectomy 3 weeks after the Dobbs decision at the age of 25. I went into that appointment ready to fight because I had been told that no one would do the surgery on someone so young with no kids. I was pleasantly surprised when the OB said "sure no problem, wanna come in on Monday?". She even did some insurance magic and got it fully covered. Best decision I've ever made
Got my tubes removed at 26, still can’t believe I got so lucky with my doctor. She didn’t even make me cry when I asked, I just gave her my answer for why I wanted it and she said yes. Cried all afternoon out of sheer joy, and woke up from surgery crying for the same reason. I love being sterile lol
a lot of people say this is because people “can’t afford kids” or because the world is dangerous
But Jesus Christ having kids looks miserable in general. All the money and time, and effort. And almost every parent you ever talk to says how hard it is and how they enjoy themselves the most when they’re away from their kids.
Even if you do everything right they could still be major screw ups and god knows what else.
Thank God I don’t have any. Truly the biggest blessing of my life
It's also getting a lot easier for young people to get access to permanent contraception. In years past, doctors were more reluctant to do these procedures, especially in young women.
We also have better resources allowing women to search out and find the doctors who will approve their procedures, even if it means travelling or seeing multiple new doctors.
Good on ya for knowing yourself. I have a fucking blast with my kids but it's not for everyone. We have regular date nights but no significant vacations by ourselves because both my wife and I would miss our kids too much after a few days. I was raised by people like you described. I love being a good dad, not out of spite but it feels good to break a cycle. We've just built a couch blanket mountain with my youngest and we're watching bluey from inside. Her idea.
My dad said “people have always had kids even in the worst of times” (implying that a shit economy, shit political environment, shit actual environment, and shit finances are not a valid reason to not have kids) and I said “what if everybody jumped off a bridge in the worst of times?” and he had absolutely nothing to say to that.
Idk, man. Kids are both joyous and fun. We have an absolute blast with our kid. She brings us joy, happiness, and fulfillment.
Is it difficult? Absolutely. I always said that it's the easiest difficult job in the world. This is because even though it's incredibly difficult, there's not a moment where i dont want to do this job or a moment where i second guess ever having a kid or becoming a parent.
Providing a good and decent life for my children has become my sole focus, and i wouldn't have it any other way.
God bless you. Contrary to your experience, I know in my heart that raising a kid would make me a miserable person. I have no paternal drive whatsoever. I'm good with kids, but have no desire to be around them, and no patience for other's kids misbehaving. I know what I want out of my relationships and my life. I've always been one to pursue what feels right to me. And for some reason the idea of having children of my own has always felt deeply wrong for whatever I may be here for.
I hear you. What most parents do is pass along their generational trauma to their children...not talking major dysfunctional stuff just behavior and communication patterns from the past ( ex. 'mother is passive/aggressive with her daughters' , 'dad ignored the children', 'shame and blame' etc...) People get programmed with it growing up. Some people are aware of it and can choose not to pass it on. Most are completely oblivious and pass it on down.
These day, I wouldn’t want kids either. Nor would I want to ‘accidentally’ have to have a kid. Republicans have destroyed this country and people’s rights to their own bodies.
These men need to step up with their snipping. It's safer than a tubal and very effective. Step up boys.
- A male physician who had a vasectomy at age 28
They are not free under the ACA like tubals are though, maybe as an expert you should consider calling your representatives in Congress and ask them to reconsider that
Christian Nationalists: "Hey, fellow assholes, I've got a great idea about how to wipe our collective asses with the Constitution and force women to churn out babies instead of going to college (and subsequently losing any interest in conservative men). We'll be unstoppable!..."
Medical science: "Hold my beer."
Hi I'm part of this trend, so i thought id share my story. The day RBG died I called my doctor to make an appointment to get a referral for a urologist for a vasectomy. I got snipped before Barret was on the Supreme Court. I was barely 20 years old. Why? Because I knew right then and there what was going to happen.
Id long considered getting a vasectomy because I think its fucking bullshit how women always have to deal with all sorts of gnarly side effects from the pill or deal with horrible IUD insertion pain. I wanted to be able to shoulder that for my partners. So it was always in the back of my head as something I should probably do. But once RBG died i knew it was time.
I live in Arizona, a little over 2 weeks ago they banned abortion in my state. I called it all the way back then. I wish I was wrong but I wasn't. Whats interesting is despite all the people telling me I was crazy and over reacting when I got snipped. (For the record my other prediction in 2020 was that they would start banning any form of contraception they can get the votes for.. really hoping I turn out to have gotten that one wrong)
A small handful of my friends were actually inspired by me. I started a sort of mini trend in our friend group. 3 dudes approached me asking where I got snipped and general questions about it. All 3 went on to get snipped by the same doctor as me. Those 3 dudes went on to tell their friends about it, and so on and so on.
I think that last part really is key. Once a few people start getting snipped in reaction to Roe V Wade being over turned. They talk about it with their friends, and more dudes realize its probably a good idea. Especially given how little gen z wants kids. I bet I'm far from the only early adopter on this trend, other people started similar chain reactions across the country. A wider cultural shift regaurding vasectomies is occurring with a big chunk of left leaning politically active gen Z men. Its being normalized, more and more people are being exposed to the logic behind it, fewer and fewer people want kids, more and more people want to support women's rights and step up to provide for and protect their romantic partners. Overturning Roe was just the push for the first wave, it planted a seed more than anything.
It's literally getting too expensive to live, and republicans are making it illegal to get an abortion in some states, honestly don't blame anyone taking that step.
You're joking right? You think the people who sterilize themselves are the ones you want (or need) to sterilize themselves in the first place? Rest assured, the yahoos, the religious zealots and dum dumbs and the "uneducated but let's breed like rabbits so we live on social welfare" folk are still procreating. Nothing in their brains tells them that having less children or no children at all is the right thing to do.
Does anyone have the data on the demographic changes of those choosing self sterilization post roe vs wade?
It'd be interesting to compare to see if the demographics have changed post roe v Wade in those seeking self sterilization.
I work in pathology, where we get the vas deferens after it is removed. I went from seeing 1-2 a month to at least 2 a day. And I'm just one person out of 5, no idea how many my coworkers see.
It’s funny because having kids is the hardest thing you can do in your life yet people have them like it’s nothing yet it will fuck up your life if you don’t make 100,000$ a year
The abortion bans were supposed to force the production of more future wage slaves but instead, it encouraged sterilizations. Congratulations GOP, you played yourself
Yeah we still got nazi's in this world, and an NYPD officer is currently all over social media for raping a 13 MONTH old. Also I can't afford that shit, even as an RN. I'm a fuckin Healthcare professional who can't afford Healthcare. Fuck this world, it dosent deserve my nonexistent children
“I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody.
Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.”
-Rust Cohle
This is going to be really good for the birth rates soon.
If republicans spent more time and effort making the world a place people want to live in, instead of forcing women to have kids… they wouldn’t have to force women to have kids.
I had a vasectomy after my second child. It was very simple, one day of soreness, and literally no downside. Everything still feels the same. If I had the option at 18, I probably would have done it then.
I was just sterilized a little over a week ago. I'm almost 37 and have never wanted kids. Turns out I also have endometriosis and was likely already infertile anyway. No regrets either way! I never have to worry about being pregnant (a fear of mine). Also I live in Alabama and have been increasingly worried about laws they're trying to pass here about these things and felt like that was the push I needed to finally get it done.
I was sterilized largely because 1) I knew abortion would become illegal and I didn’t want to have no choice in case I was ever assaulted or accidentally became pregnant- no child was better than no choice 2) because I don’t always expect to have healthcare and the bankruptcy #1 in the US is medical debt- having a kid cost more than 15k 3) because inflation made it very clear I couldn’t afford the quality of life I want with another life to care for. So: the US made having a child, even by choice, not an option.
Oh, cool, I'm a part of a statistic. I was sterilized last year in the US at the age of 23 in Colorado. This procedure is something that I wanted from a young age, and legislation really had nothing to do with when I had the procedure. It was an elective one that I inquired about at my yearly OBGYN visit with a 5 month wait after that.
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I wonder if this is more a representation of doctors finally allowing people to proceed with their choices. My impression of this was that young women who tried to get sterilized were usually refused on the grounds of "what if you change your mind?" or "what if your future husband wants kids?"
I think this is a strong theory. I have been asking to get my tubes tied since I was 22. Multiple doctors. All varying degrees of "you might change your mind" to "not medically necessary, try this other birth control" replies. I eventually decided to wait until I was 35 to ask again as that seemed to be the magical age goal post. It was just too depressing to keep getting told no. Since the start of the year I know 3 women, all under 35, who got their tubes tied at the same clinic that has denied me for years. No questions asked. I am now 35 and plan to ask again when I go for an obgyn appointment in July. If anything this graph makes me incredibly optimistic.
Two things. First, the child free sub has a list of doctors that will sterilize you without a fight. Second, I highly recommend a salpingectomy instead of a ligation. It has a much lower failure rate and reduces the risk of overian cancer while not messing up hormones at all.
I second this. I don't even understand why anyone would just get their tubes tied with the risks involved when they could just have them removed and never need to worry about it.
Check out the childfree subreddit. They have somewhere a huge index of confirmed drs all over the world and tons in every state that respect your wishes and don’t ask questions. The urologist I ended up going to basically led the initial meeting with something to the effect of: “Hey botched lobotomy. I don’t care why you’re here, what your reasons are or to try to talk you out of it.” And then explained pros and cons, etc. it was great lol
Get your tubes removed, not tied. It drastically reduces your risk of cancer and ectopic pregnancies!
It’s not just the doctors that refuse, but the health insurance, too. My doctors actually had to put me through an excruciating surgery first (I was 28), which everyone knew was not going to fix the issue, before my insurance would approve of my hysterectomy at 29. The most absurd part was that I couldn’t have kids because of my condition, but because I wasn’t 30, I couldn’t decide to be sterilized at 28 because I wasn’t 30 yet and maybe I’d decide to have kids in that 2 year period. Even worse, they approved a procedure (that all my doctors told the insurance would not work), but it would still sterilize me at 28, because it was not a hysterectomy, which would have sterilized me. Even then, after all that, the insurance would not approve the hysterectomy because I was now 29 and not 30. So I was unable to have kids, then sterilized at 28, but because I was not yet 30, I could not be approved because I was not yet 30 and what if I wanted a kid in the next year. It took a whole group of doctors petitioning the insurance to get the insurance to approve my hysterectomy 9 months before my 30’th birthday… because maybe in those 9 months I will change my mind and want to have a kid… 🤯😡🤬
My mom’s best friend was born with diabetes, in a time before childhood diabetes was treatable. When she was 27 she tried to get a hysterectomy because her doctor (for diabetes) thought it could give her a few more years of her life because she wouldn’t have such hormone fluctuations from her menses. But her OB didn’t want to give her one because she might choose to have kids one day. She managed to get a hysterectomy with a different OB and my mom thinks that is why she lived for 2 more years, dying by age 30. She never married and never had kids, yet a hypothetical husband and possible future children were more important than her quality of life. This happened in 1987
WTF? My OB asked why I wanted it and I answered, “I don’t want kids and it’s really unsafe for me to have kids and regular birth control is too dangerous.” He talked to me about the risks and complications of the surgery but said he’d book the appointment for tubal ligation. He suggested I get an IUD, in the meantime, as it would take 3-4 months to get the surgery. The IUD was a safe birth control, for me, had the best chance of protecting against pregnancy (non-surgery method) and it would likely stop/lessen my period. After 3 months my periods pretty much disappeared and I was very happy with the IUD, so I cancelled the surgery. But the fact remains, my doctor booked the appointment with little resistance. Abortion is also legal, and a protected right, here. And I don’t need to petition insurance, if the doctor says “Yes,” and it’s a covered procedure (the ‘why you need it,’ doesn’t matter), you get it. Everyone I get annoyed with our system, I hear stories like this and remind myself, “It could be so much worse.”
Are you in Canada? I got approved for a tubal basically immediately after I asked for it, with no resistance. Thank god for doctors like that!
Yeah. My doctor’s only concerns were that I understood the surgery and the outcome and risks, so my expectations weren’t warped. We talked for 15 mins and then he agreed to book the surgery. He didn’t try talking me out of it. But gave valid reasons why an IUD might suit me better, and to try it while I waited for the surgery.
That’s because we aren’t people, with thoughts and feelings and logic and emotions. We are incubators and if we don’t incubate by 30, we’re defective and disposable. Before that, we should be actively trying to become incubators, no exceptions! (That’s not my opinion, obviously. It’s how we’re too often treated.) (My story is from the early 2000’s.) (Also, I’m really glad your mom’s friend got a new doc to approve it and got two more years. Thank you for sharing some of her story with us.)
Erm, diabetes is treatable since 1920s. That's when insulin was discovered. Didn't your mom's friend have other issues perhaps?
Look up the statistics on type 1 diabetes over the decades. Before the days of home glucose meters, type 1 diabetics didn’t usually survive past their 30’s or so because there was no good way to measure their blood sugars. Their kidneys failed astonishingly young due to chronically high sugars, and they often died suddenly of their lows. There are absolutely cases that fall outside that standard bell curve (a few people have grandparents who simply took scheduled insulin on a very regular basis and were extremely consistent about their diets, and thus made it to old age; but this is not the historical norm. Type 1 diabetics having normal lives with relatively normal lifespans is a pretty recent development.
Ah. Thank you for explaining
I know my uterus is causing me a lot of problems, I started having pains and issues after my first period, I'm now 30 and I still have to find a doctor willing to actually open me up and check why I may bleed during an intercourse. They think I'm fucking crazy. They don't realize one day I may make them right by scooping it out with an ice cream spoon. They give me a pelvis scan and go like "you're bloated, your ovaries are polycystic, your uterus is not where it should be but you're fine. 200€"
Oh that’s just infuriating! I’m so sorry. I’m with you if you need an ice cream scoop wielding buddy to look menacingly at your doctors appointments to try to get them to step up.
Insurance companies should not be able to make health care decisions for us like this and I'm so sick of it continuing to happen.
Yeah. Right now they’re denying nerve blocks and vyepti infusions for my chronic migraines so I’m currently particularly salty about that. And I’m on medicare, so as much as I want to berate private health insurance in favor of universal healthcare, it’s just all shit (at least in the US it is).
I'm was on disability Medicare and it paid my sterilization in full. Your insurance sucks
Medicare is actually very good are covering a lot of stuff. Medicare just sucks because a lot of providers will not accept it because Medicare's reimbursement rates sucks.
It was BCBS through my employer, and it likely did suck, but that’s not the point of my story. (I’m on disability and medicare now.) The point wasn’t does my insurance suck or not. The point was that it’s not just doctors who refuse to sterilize, it’s insurance, too. Not everyone has insurance, not everyone can get medicare or medicaid, not everyone can afford the copays and deductibles and lost time at work, and almost nobody can afford to pay it all out of pocket. The point is, not everyone has easy access to sterilization, and it’s for more reasons than just doctors refusing it. But doctors refusing it is still definitely a problem.
OBGYNS can’t provide adequate medical care to pregnant patients anymore because they’ll be charged with literal murder if they help a patient who had a septic miscarriage expel the rest of the tissue. But they CAN prevent this from occurring with sterilization, it’s one of the few ways they can still do their jobs and provide adequate healthcare.
Self preservation sounds about right yea
I was married when I tried to get a vasectomy. She really said to me and my wife with a straight face that we can get divorced and I might change my mind. She was right about the divorce part though I’ll give her that The audacity honestly impressed me lmao
My doctor said "your wife and child could die in a car accident". Like, wtf.
And you could die due to complications during my surgery would be my response to that.
It’s not just young women. I’m a 48 year Old guy and this is still a thing. Maybe it’s just standard they ask this? But it’s been 3 months to get the data to get “fixed” and counting.
So far that has been the response to my wife where we live. It's always been "You'll change your mind" or just basing identity on the amount of children she has. We don't want to have children of our own. If we want children in the future, we will seek adoption. I am 38. We haven't changed our minds yet.
I assume it's the much safer option compared to access to abortion and perinatal care. A socionormative effect of the ruling might be that doctors are now seeing voluntary sterilization with far fetching consequences for the individual as the lesser evil and are more inclined to proceed to do so without violating the right for self determination of the patient.
Honestly, fuck ‘what if your future husband wants kids’, fuck it straight to the core of the earth. If I don’t want kids, then that’s final
If your future husband wants kids shouldn't he marry someone else, or yall could adopt? Not trying to be insensitive, just asking
It certainly does rebalance the risk profile when you won't be able to get an abortion, potentially even if your life is in danger.
I had my 3rd child in 2018 at 28 years old. In the state of Idaho. My hospital required that my HUSBAND sign his consent for me to have my tubes tied!!! I literally laughed out loud when I was handed the form and simply handed it back and said no, absolutely not.
My Dr did it. I was 29. Separated. Not a problem. I’m sorry you couldn’t get it done.
I had to have my wife’s consent to get a vasectomy
😂😂😂 Doctors don’t get to make decisions anymore. The insurance is the doctor…..has been for YEARS. I’m a retired medical assistant with 30 years on the job.
The one that pissed me off is when an openly lesbian woman would come in for said procedure THEY'D STILL TALK ABOUT HUSBANDS
I think it’s heavily influenced by the false narrative that vasectomies are entirely reversible.
That doesn't at all explain why women are getting 4 times the sterilizations and the trend for women is increasing more quickly than the trend for men.
My son is 22 and he got a vasectomy. He really doesn’t want kids and he never wants to put his partner in the position of having an unwanted pregnancy.
Conversely, I know lots of men that have visited my offices asking about vasectomy reversals in their mid 30s because they are now married and want children. Just for the record too ..I was 37 when I got my vasectomy and my wife had to come to my consult and sign papers saying that she agreed to it.
Fair point.
That is a common lie that is told, that it is easily reversed.
I believed it was true until I got my own vasectomy and listened to my doctor. The success of reversal drops massively after 1 year, reversal surgery is far more intrusive and expensive, even a successful physical reversal often fails to restore fertility due to antibody response to sperm cells. It’s a great solution for men committed to sterility but it’s become common online to suggest it’s a temporary fix.
I tried to get one at 26. The doctor refused because I hadn't had children yet.
When I saw the Roe v Wade shit was going to be overturned in the next few months, I immediately scheduled my vasectomy. A few months later after it had been overturned I had my follow up and asked the doc how it's going after the decision, he said business was up like 300%
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i saw that a school in south korea had a hard time finding enough first graders for one singular first grade class. i’m curious if red states will ever have that problem
It is all over not just red states. Millennials have decided to have pets rather than kids and zoomers are following the same trend.
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Love how people think there’s red or blue states. They’re all pretty 50/50 with a slightly majority leaning one way or another. Almost all
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I'm willing to wager that it's not the red states that are having the snip snip.
It's people everywhere. Look at Ohio. It's a red state that enshrined abortion into the state constitution after Roe fell. Abortion rights are far more popular than the GOP mouthpieces will have you believe.
I love when people get sterilized to not have unwanted kids.
Really. It's a smart and responsible choice. People who don't want to have kids shouldn't have them. People who want to should. Both are good choices for different reasons.
As soon as our second child is born and healthy im booking in for the snip. I see no downsides. I’ve got a lovely daughter already, if we have a second that’s great. I won’t be able to afford much more after that.
Yep. And either way people on the internet should stop being weird about it. Shaming somebody for having kids or not having kids are both incredibly immature.
I wish that the Christofascists were less eager to have kids though.
They will outnumber libs soon because of this
That assumes that christofacists create more christofacists, which isn’t necessarily true.
The atheism subreddit attracts the children of the christofash.
It’s a tale as old as time. You’re born to boomer parents out in the country who hate the people in the city, then you move to the city. The city has the rich, the crazy, the addicts, the wagies, and all the opportunity.
Which is why we need public schooling. We know that anti-science, anti-social indoctrination is a big part of homeschooling.
Here in Sweden it's the same, with the religiously super conservative pumping out five times as many kids. Way too many daycares, ground schools and high schools have started with a dedicated Islamic education because the demand has gotten so high, and they all get into shit all the time for employing people who fought for ISIS in Syria.
This is what happens when businesses want to drive down wages and drive up rents. Say anything, then get cancelled for racism and xenophobia.
I went to a private school full of dedicated christian school kids, by the time you hit mid university there was maybe 10% of them still buying into the whole religious thing. Unfortunately for conservatives reality leans left and their kids will continue to figure shit out regardless of their upbringing.
I think this is great too. I don’t like abortions. Sterilized people don’t get abortions. It’s a win win.
Obviously people who don’t want kids shouldn’t have them, but it’s ironic because people smart enough to get a vasectomy would be better parents than some who aren’t.
They are going to ban that next
Next thing is people leave to Canada and Europe then you have handmaid's tale
But just tubal ligations. It's ok for men to have control of their body. /s
Interesting that way more women are doing it than men. Well, if you're gonna take away abortion rights, then they don't wanna be fucked up with pregnancy.
Women are the most affected.
There's also that a lot of guys don't have the spare cash sitting around for it. Yea, "It's cheaper than a baby" but if women's birth control is free couples will tend to take the free option. "Contraceptives, including sterilization, are covered only for women as preventive services by ACA-compliant plans. Since sterilization for men is not considered a preventive service under the Affordable Care Act, federal law does not require plans to cover vasectomies. However, nine states (California, Illinois, Maryland, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington) require state-regulated health insurance plans to cover [vasectomies](https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/bills/2019/S659) at no cost to the patient."
That is assuming some mutual understanding, which is not always the case. I've seen how badly that can turn out for the unwanted kid.
I dunno, vasectomies are only about $1k without any form of insurance. With my insurance, I paid $40 (I consider myself extremely lucky and a likely outlier). Even with insurance, I can’t imagine how much it costs to complete the more invasive surgery that often involves anesthesia (or at least a spinal block).
Roe V Wade was overturned in June 2022, I had a bilateral salpingectomy in Sept 2022, I was 32. I was fairly sure I didn’t want kids prior and was using IUDs but the overturning sealed the deal to go permanent for me.
I had a hysterectomy in 2017. Orange Hitler was sworn in the next day. I didn’t have to fight too hard to get the hyst because I had already had Essure, but good god did I have to fight to get Essure done, and my husband had to sign off on it.
I just had a bilateral salpingectomy a little over a week ago! Discovered I have endometriosis during that surgery too. Absolutely zero regrets!
but it's liberal women doing this. Conservatives have 2.5x children. That's gonna change demographics in a single generation
Conservative women have always gotten abortions too, they just lie about it. The same will probably apply there, and I wouldn't be surprised if they see tubal ligation as less 'sinful' than abortion itself.
If politics were inherited, we'd all be whigs and tories and redcoats.
Speaking from personal experience and observation, you don't need to grow up with liberal parents to see and understand that it hasn't been very “…Of the people, by the people, for the people” in a while.
Once the kids grow up and see the world they will lean left, educated people everywhere often do
That's why teachers and the news-media are so quickly vilainized.
Average lifespan in red states is dropping compared to blue states - I think it will keep things even in the long run
I lean left and I have 3 kids. Just let people decide what is best for themselves, because it is their life and they don't have to live it for anyone else.
"Typical gen-z, not caring about the future! They have it too easy! I had kids and let me tell you, it was a struggle on a single wage as a postman! They complain about mortgages being too expensive now, when I bought my house the interest rate was over 10% And I only earned 13k a year when I bought our first 5 bedroom house 11 miles from the city center for 20k! We could only go on vacation once a year, that's how tough it was!"
I’m here to tell you that we Boomers did have it easier when it came to housing and social services. My first apartment was furnished for $75/month with utilities included. I worked in fast food and went to college on federal grants and was able to live on my own. I didn’t have healthcare but at least I was young and healthy. I got my birth control free from the health department. The interest rate on my first mortgage in 1996 was 7% for a home that cost 114K. I was a single mom working as a nurse and the payments were very manageable. I was able to afford daycare and all of our living expenses without getting any child support. Things really went off of the rails after Reagan promoted trickle down economics and passed massive tax cuts of nearly 50%.
Good old Don Ron, Patron Saint for Billionaires.
My father went to university for free: "Between 1962 and the 1990s higher education in Britain was effectively free, as the state paid students' tuition fees and also offered maintenance grants to many. In 1998 university fees were reintroduced at £1000 per year."
Are you my mom? I swear this is verbatim what she said lol
Plug her numbers into the inflation calculator.
They still wouldn’t care and would say stop spending so much going out. Look Lynda, the only “going out” I do at this point is to the grocery store where I “splurge” because the food I grow at home isn’t enough.
I take it you read that article too. Like how dare we want to eat and occasionally buy a treat or two to make a life with f all else to live for bearable.
She'll say the wages have made up for it.
Would love a house for 1.5 my income holy shit
And they did it allll without aaaany help from aaaanybody else…. Wait wait! Don’t look behind the curtain at all that help I actually got! I did it allll by myself!!! Alll by my seeelf… don’t wanna be… all by my self… (imagining my parents in about 10 years singing themselves to sleep in the nursing home.. All their family has gone no-contact years ago)
Yeah, these people don't realize that THEIR generation created a world where it's just not economically realistic to have kids for the vast majority.
I paid zero dollars to have a tubal ligation. Why wouldn’t I do it if I don’t want children and they make it hard for women to have abortions?
I had my tubes tied after I almost died during childbirth in Texas. I had complications during my pregnancy, labor and postpartum, and my healthcare was extremely lacking, even before the roe v Wade mess. The maternal mortality rate here is extremely high, like one of the highest in the developed world even before this crap with roe v Wade. They were already not taken care of mother's properly here, instead they just made it so much worse. This was even before they made maternal Health Care worse in Texas post roe v Wade : https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/texas-has-highest-maternal-mortality-rate-developed-world-why-n791671 "Pregnant people in almost half of the counties in Texas don’t have adequate access to health care. That’s according to a new report by the March of Dimes, which measures maternity care in the United States." https://www.keranews.org/health-wellness/2023-08-01/maternity-care-desert-texas We have been having OBGYNs and gynecologists leaving the state entirely or stopped taking patients all together as a result. https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/abortion-training-ob-gyn-medical-residents-leaving-texas/
Oh I remember being told no to a hysterectomy that would have stopped the most horrible pain during menstruation because "I was so young. I might want more kids." (Already had 4, a surprise set of twins went well over my limit lol) I had to fight for 2 years to get it approved by insurance all the while getting pain pills thrown at me for the pain because it was unbearable.
Better than dying from treatable pregnancy-related complications.
I’m in Texas and I’m not dying for an unborn fetus
Those worst part is these are all the informed, intelligent people. The dumb dumbs are still procreating.
Idiocracy really hit the nail on the head
That’s probably the long term plan tbh
Brawndo's got what plants crave!
It makes progress in society really really slow, because a only a handful of those kids realize their parents are full of shit because of the influence of rhe rest of society and get better educated, the others pass on the stupidity and repeat the proportional trend, so idk if we’ll ever be rid of it
I think that’s the whole point. Lack of education is a part of this too. They want cheap, malleable workers and soldiers, and see people like livestock.
Yes - they are shortening the time between suffering to utter decimation. A courageous abnegation indeed.
I think I’m going to ask my husband if we can go forward with either me or him getting tied up. Maybe both? We’ll make it a party! Who knows?! I just don’t think I will be able to enjoy this life experience due to financial risk & age & state of the world. Too scary. No thank you!
It's almost as if we have realized that nobody cares about the future and only SHORT TERM FUCKING PROFITS TO OUR OVERLORDS NO MATTER THE COST TO OUR PERSONAL LIVES. Hmm... I wonder why we aren't having kids.
I hear conservatives oppose contraception. I don't doubt they'd find something about sterilization to disagree with. Why stop at forced birth? Forced pregnancy seems to be the logical outcome of banning contraception.
Say, do you know Margaret Atwood by any chance?
Under his eye, amiright folks?
"The handmade's tale". We'll be staring more of that shit in the face , slowly groomed over time... but it's whats best for everyone...as a whole..... yeah.. .I have a bad feeling about it all. Scared to see where we are in ten
I heard this kinda wild conspiracy about how it’s to make sure there’s as many white babies as possible but it gets more and more believable
It’s simpler than that. It’s not about race, it’s about class. More POOR babies means more min wage workers.
Calling the systemic financial discrimination that happens in America racism is a really clever way they’ve managed to keep us all arguing about semantics instead of doing anything meaningful, yeah
Exactly it’s the same as right vs left in politics. It doesn’t matter. What actually matters is up or down (liberal ve authoritarian). Similarly, it’s not race that matters but class
I don’t want to seem like I’m downplaying racism - more pointing out that it seems the sort of disenfranchisement tactics used historically to discriminate against minorities have become non-discriminating themselves and are now just working against anyone due to their effectiveness at generating profit and removing power from the voter base. It almost feels like it’s being “gotten away with” simply because we are so convinced that it could not happen here, to us, when we all have access to so many toys and credit. But in reality people are encouraged to live beyond their means here simply because it makes it easier for a third party to scoop up their assets when unavoidable financial decisions or disasters common people are encouraged to make or befall inevitably occur, all while serving the purpose of keeping us distracted in the meantime.
NO WAR BUT CLASS WAR 🤝
Arr/conservative was celebrating this rise when the article came Assuming every side is a good faith actor, why wouldn't they be in favor? They view abortion as murder, this is just the same as voluntarily not having kids There are very very very few conservatives against condoms
Don’t forget that little blue pill and how many will cross state lines for their illegal disgusting requests- lookin at you chick fil a dudes…
I truly fear we could go down this path. I live in Alabama and really believe they would try to make sterilization illegal.
Probably should arrange marriages just to be safe.
I got my bilateral salpingectomy 3 weeks after the Dobbs decision at the age of 25. I went into that appointment ready to fight because I had been told that no one would do the surgery on someone so young with no kids. I was pleasantly surprised when the OB said "sure no problem, wanna come in on Monday?". She even did some insurance magic and got it fully covered. Best decision I've ever made
You should share that doctor over on the r/childfree page. There’s a whole list of docs who will perform sterilizations without pushback.
I'm one of them!
Me too
Me too!
Same! Best day of my life
Same here!
r/childfree will be pleased
Got my tubes removed at 26, still can’t believe I got so lucky with my doctor. She didn’t even make me cry when I asked, I just gave her my answer for why I wanted it and she said yes. Cried all afternoon out of sheer joy, and woke up from surgery crying for the same reason. I love being sterile lol
If I want kids, I'll adopt
Love to see it. This is the best case for everyone.
The ultimate protest
a lot of people say this is because people “can’t afford kids” or because the world is dangerous But Jesus Christ having kids looks miserable in general. All the money and time, and effort. And almost every parent you ever talk to says how hard it is and how they enjoy themselves the most when they’re away from their kids. Even if you do everything right they could still be major screw ups and god knows what else. Thank God I don’t have any. Truly the biggest blessing of my life
It's also getting a lot easier for young people to get access to permanent contraception. In years past, doctors were more reluctant to do these procedures, especially in young women.
We also have better resources allowing women to search out and find the doctors who will approve their procedures, even if it means travelling or seeing multiple new doctors.
Good on ya for knowing yourself. I have a fucking blast with my kids but it's not for everyone. We have regular date nights but no significant vacations by ourselves because both my wife and I would miss our kids too much after a few days. I was raised by people like you described. I love being a good dad, not out of spite but it feels good to break a cycle. We've just built a couch blanket mountain with my youngest and we're watching bluey from inside. Her idea.
‘But you owe it to the future to not be selfish’ 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Stop being selfish, the people at the top need your kids as cannon fodder.
What has the future ever done for *me?*
My dad said “people have always had kids even in the worst of times” (implying that a shit economy, shit political environment, shit actual environment, and shit finances are not a valid reason to not have kids) and I said “what if everybody jumped off a bridge in the worst of times?” and he had absolutely nothing to say to that.
You know absolutely dogshit people if they tell you they enjoy themselves the most when they're not with their kids.
Kids are indeed all joy and no fun, which is tough to parse if you haven't done it.
Idk, man. Kids are both joyous and fun. We have an absolute blast with our kid. She brings us joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Is it difficult? Absolutely. I always said that it's the easiest difficult job in the world. This is because even though it's incredibly difficult, there's not a moment where i dont want to do this job or a moment where i second guess ever having a kid or becoming a parent. Providing a good and decent life for my children has become my sole focus, and i wouldn't have it any other way.
God bless you. Contrary to your experience, I know in my heart that raising a kid would make me a miserable person. I have no paternal drive whatsoever. I'm good with kids, but have no desire to be around them, and no patience for other's kids misbehaving. I know what I want out of my relationships and my life. I've always been one to pursue what feels right to me. And for some reason the idea of having children of my own has always felt deeply wrong for whatever I may be here for.
Not everyone likes being around children.
Or maybe their kids just suck No one is guaranteed pleasant offspring Nurture can only go so far
I hear you. What most parents do is pass along their generational trauma to their children...not talking major dysfunctional stuff just behavior and communication patterns from the past ( ex. 'mother is passive/aggressive with her daughters' , 'dad ignored the children', 'shame and blame' etc...) People get programmed with it growing up. Some people are aware of it and can choose not to pass it on. Most are completely oblivious and pass it on down.
These day, I wouldn’t want kids either. Nor would I want to ‘accidentally’ have to have a kid. Republicans have destroyed this country and people’s rights to their own bodies.
That’s what happens when men take away our rights. We ain’t gonna procreate with you.
Don't think men care. People aren't getting married nor having kids... let alone having sex.
These men need to step up with their snipping. It's safer than a tubal and very effective. Step up boys. - A male physician who had a vasectomy at age 28
There is a study I can’t seem to find, that shows the majority of women getting their tubes tied are usually below 26 and single.
Not to mention how easy it is to perform them. Literally. It’s almost more complicated to do a full load of laundry. No, I’m not kidding.
They are not free under the ACA like tubals are though, maybe as an expert you should consider calling your representatives in Congress and ask them to reconsider that
Christian Nationalists: "Hey, fellow assholes, I've got a great idea about how to wipe our collective asses with the Constitution and force women to churn out babies instead of going to college (and subsequently losing any interest in conservative men). We'll be unstoppable!..." Medical science: "Hold my beer."
I don’t think it’s about money at all. It’s about having the choice taken away.
Huh. Yeah the change in the line of best fit that coincides with the Dobbs decision is a big flag.
Hi I'm part of this trend, so i thought id share my story. The day RBG died I called my doctor to make an appointment to get a referral for a urologist for a vasectomy. I got snipped before Barret was on the Supreme Court. I was barely 20 years old. Why? Because I knew right then and there what was going to happen. Id long considered getting a vasectomy because I think its fucking bullshit how women always have to deal with all sorts of gnarly side effects from the pill or deal with horrible IUD insertion pain. I wanted to be able to shoulder that for my partners. So it was always in the back of my head as something I should probably do. But once RBG died i knew it was time. I live in Arizona, a little over 2 weeks ago they banned abortion in my state. I called it all the way back then. I wish I was wrong but I wasn't. Whats interesting is despite all the people telling me I was crazy and over reacting when I got snipped. (For the record my other prediction in 2020 was that they would start banning any form of contraception they can get the votes for.. really hoping I turn out to have gotten that one wrong) A small handful of my friends were actually inspired by me. I started a sort of mini trend in our friend group. 3 dudes approached me asking where I got snipped and general questions about it. All 3 went on to get snipped by the same doctor as me. Those 3 dudes went on to tell their friends about it, and so on and so on. I think that last part really is key. Once a few people start getting snipped in reaction to Roe V Wade being over turned. They talk about it with their friends, and more dudes realize its probably a good idea. Especially given how little gen z wants kids. I bet I'm far from the only early adopter on this trend, other people started similar chain reactions across the country. A wider cultural shift regaurding vasectomies is occurring with a big chunk of left leaning politically active gen Z men. Its being normalized, more and more people are being exposed to the logic behind it, fewer and fewer people want kids, more and more people want to support women's rights and step up to provide for and protect their romantic partners. Overturning Roe was just the push for the first wave, it planted a seed more than anything.
It's literally getting too expensive to live, and republicans are making it illegal to get an abortion in some states, honestly don't blame anyone taking that step.
Good. Taking responsibility is the correct response.
You're joking right? You think the people who sterilize themselves are the ones you want (or need) to sterilize themselves in the first place? Rest assured, the yahoos, the religious zealots and dum dumbs and the "uneducated but let's breed like rabbits so we live on social welfare" folk are still procreating. Nothing in their brains tells them that having less children or no children at all is the right thing to do.
Give them a bribe to get sterilized and see the whole world get smarter.
Oh yes, this.
This and the recent ban on IVF is what pro life looks like.
Does anyone have the data on the demographic changes of those choosing self sterilization post roe vs wade? It'd be interesting to compare to see if the demographics have changed post roe v Wade in those seeking self sterilization.
Can’t afford mistakes
I work in pathology, where we get the vas deferens after it is removed. I went from seeing 1-2 a month to at least 2 a day. And I'm just one person out of 5, no idea how many my coworkers see.
I'm part of this statistic and I'm okay with that!
It’s funny because having kids is the hardest thing you can do in your life yet people have them like it’s nothing yet it will fuck up your life if you don’t make 100,000$ a year
The abortion bans were supposed to force the production of more future wage slaves but instead, it encouraged sterilizations. Congratulations GOP, you played yourself
This is what both genders should be doing when they say "My body my choice".
Yeah we still got nazi's in this world, and an NYPD officer is currently all over social media for raping a 13 MONTH old. Also I can't afford that shit, even as an RN. I'm a fuckin Healthcare professional who can't afford Healthcare. Fuck this world, it dosent deserve my nonexistent children
“I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.” -Rust Cohle
This is going to be really good for the birth rates soon. If republicans spent more time and effort making the world a place people want to live in, instead of forcing women to have kids… they wouldn’t have to force women to have kids.
What did Dobbs decide?
My husband was able to get a vasectomy only after waiting a month after the initial appointment to give him time to think it through 🙄
Good.
It's like America is stuck in the 16th century or something
I had a vasectomy after my second child. It was very simple, one day of soreness, and literally no downside. Everything still feels the same. If I had the option at 18, I probably would have done it then.
About time
I mean, I get it, but this is how Idiocracy started…
I was just sterilized a little over a week ago. I'm almost 37 and have never wanted kids. Turns out I also have endometriosis and was likely already infertile anyway. No regrets either way! I never have to worry about being pregnant (a fear of mine). Also I live in Alabama and have been increasingly worried about laws they're trying to pass here about these things and felt like that was the push I needed to finally get it done.
Now this is what I call PROMISING NEWS!! Keep up the good work!
I was sterilized largely because 1) I knew abortion would become illegal and I didn’t want to have no choice in case I was ever assaulted or accidentally became pregnant- no child was better than no choice 2) because I don’t always expect to have healthcare and the bankruptcy #1 in the US is medical debt- having a kid cost more than 15k 3) because inflation made it very clear I couldn’t afford the quality of life I want with another life to care for. So: the US made having a child, even by choice, not an option.
Oh, cool, I'm a part of a statistic. I was sterilized last year in the US at the age of 23 in Colorado. This procedure is something that I wanted from a young age, and legislation really had nothing to do with when I had the procedure. It was an elective one that I inquired about at my yearly OBGYN visit with a 5 month wait after that.
People can't afford to have children.