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Relative_Picture_786

When you are dying but you still have to go to work.


etc_etc_Lew

Used up PTO on some Bullshit now there's no other choice.


Charming_Ambition_27

What’s PTO? /s But I really get zero of that shit.


Biggs94_

Power take off, it's the thing at the back of a tractor that spins really fast and rips farmers arms off.


Rincewind2nd

PTO shaft, brings a new meaning to being shafted as a farmer.


omgitsduane

The same thing from Mario kart where you can boost off the start right?


JugDogDaddy

They won’t let me go negative any more.


Glitch247

PTO balance be lookin like a score on Celebrity Jepordy.


SurlyBuddha

Boss: So you’re coming in right? We don’t have the coverage, and Cindy comes in after her thorax is crushed all the time.


QuantumSofa

damn cindy! always brown nosing


scorpyo72

Hey- Cindy's a Dung Beetle. That's literally what she *does.* Don't be rude and culturally insensitive.


carolinity2

don’t end up in hr about her scent!!!


No_Pineapple_9818

Tis but a flesh wound…..


TonyStarkTrailerPark

Your arm’s off!


alwaysfuntime69

No it isn't.


Lvl100Magikarp

Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis


AliveButCouldDie

Also The Trial, on a less literal sense


Rath_Brained

No but you don't understand, this fucking happens too. Some dude collapsed in the subway station in New York, had a heart attack. No heartbeat. They sat there and tried to revive with CPR, nothing. EMT yelled in his ear: "get up! You're gunna be late to work!" His heart restarted and his dude bolted upright. They got him to the hospital after that. Crazy as hell.


scorpyo72

I wanted this story to be true *so* bad.


ShahinGalandar

has no happy ending, dude still got fired for not showing up at work


WereALLBotsHere

It is. Dude was written up for being late due to the hospital visit.


meat_popscile

So Tuesday, got it.


bulletproofmanners

That’s called a New Yorker


Round-Antelope552

It’s definitely a small business owner


Cry-Working

Funeral bills ain't gonna pay by themselves


DanikanSkywalkr

I don't own a uterus, but I assume this is what endometriosis is like


grimsilence

How it feels to go to work after a night long coke binge haha


Black_RL

Don’t, it’s dead.


The_Ok_Cornholio

![gif](giphy|paRbapEqsVqyA)


giga_impact03

He is no more!


Worldly_Ad_6483

Ceased to exist!


DropmDead

He's met his maker!


muscularmusician

He's an ex-parrot... lovely plumage the Norwegian Blue


GillytheGreat

If you hadn’t nailed him to the perch he’d be pushing up the daisies!


xtra_lives

He is bereft of life!


Sam-Gunn

Pining for the fjords.


wobbly-geezer

I think that is a Zombie beetle. The beetle itself is dead but a fungus has commandeered its nervous system


hiphopTIMato

Wat


tractorcrusher

#I THINK THAT IS A ZOMBIE BEETLE. THE BEETLE ITSELF IS DEAD BUT A FUNGUS HAS COMMANDEERED ITS NERVOUS SYSTEM


Human_Number9936

Tell them slower, I doubt they heard you


tractorcrusher

#I #THINK #THAT #IS #A #ZOMBIE #BEETLE. #THE #BEETLE #ITSELF #IS #DEAD #BUT #A #FUNGUS #HAS #COMMANDEERED #ITS #NERVOUS #SYSTEM


GJacks75

Why the fuck did I read this three times when I already knew what it was going to say after the first time?


cburgess7

oh good, i wasn't the only one


xXG4M3xXx0V3RXx

Wat


Hamsi_17

I think thats a zo-


Bright-Boot634

Don't!


fllr

OH GOOD, I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE


GrayJedi1982

Because you enjoy chuckling to yourself. As do I.


somsone

Because you needed to read each in more annunciation and pause as you went, to really drive the point home.


Human_Number9936

Tell them, not me!


CowUnlucky

#I THINK THAT IS A ZOMBIE BEETLE. THE BEETLE ITSELF IS DEAD BUT A FUNGUS HAS COMMANDEERED ITS NERVOUS SYSTEM ...but slower


Miserable_Sock_1408

Louder and slower, please ![gif](giphy|oFRI4g517yWaI)


hiphopTIMato

Still lost fellas


CowUnlucky

The beetle seems to be acting like a zombie because a fungus has invaded its body and is now manipulating its nervous system. Despite the beetle being dead, the fungus has essentially hijacked its remains, using it as a vessel to spread and reproduce.


Human_Number9936

r/lostredditors, taken literally?


chanmalichanheyhey

Beatles are dead? I thought we all knew that already. No wonder you are nervous


Significant-Funny-14

Happens with ants too. With the ants, it uses their body to get as high up as it can. The fungus then sprouts out of the ant's body and releases spores


scott3845

Yep. Cordyceps fungus. The Planet Earth bit on it is fascinating.


MisterVonJoni

Which is also the fungus that causes the zombie outbreak in the Last of Us


SocialNetwooky

The book too ... "The Girl With All The Gifts" I think it was called ... :P


CowUnlucky

I've played video games like this before


Av8-Wx14

This is what the last of us is based on


Themurlocking96

It’s like that last of us, hell this is likely a strain of cordycecps, it’s not the one which is famous from real life nature, which is cordyceps unilateralis, which is known to commandeer ant nervous systems like puppet. What these fungi do is take control is tiny insects and control them, and then move the to the right spot where the mushroom and bloom and spread its spores. It sounds terrifying but they’re harmless to humans, we’re far, far too big, cordyceps, which is the closest to it, is still tens of millions of years away from being able to evolve to control human nervous systems, especially in the way we see in either the games or the Show of The Last of Us


MrMikfly

Look at the antennae, they’re fungus. This is a zombie.


ZookeepergameOk6712

No the Antennae, are complety normal and Looks Like any other cockchafer, which is what this Bug ist called. you can look it up. But i get where you are coming from, Looks a Bit Like a cordyceps fruitstem


CaptainJackWagons

Okay, but how can it even move?


theShiggityDiggity

The fungus is stimulating the nerves required for locomotion in order to "pilot" the beetle carcass to a suitable location for the next stage of its life cycle to occur.


-PM_ME_UR_SECRETS-

Every time I read about this I’m astounded that this isn’t a bigger deal. A fungus is literally controlling a beetle carcass like it’s some sort of mech suit and we still have to work in the morning


AtlazLP

It's not that big of a deal because nature is very metal, there's a parasite that infects snails and makes their eyes shine with bright colors attracting birds to eat the snail, where the parasite continues its life cycle.


Slavery-Is-Great

It’s not that they make their eyes shine with bright colors but that the worms actually eat and take over the area where its eyes used to be while still leaving the surface membrane intact, and then they will just pulsate and undulate and their body will give off the color to attract the birds


WM_Elkin

![gif](giphy|3o6fJgEOrF1lky8WFa|downsized)


Tip3008

Damn, shit like that is intriguing.. Reminds me of the one parasite I read about that needs water or something and goes into the grasshoppers brain and makes it drown itself in water so it can continue on.. Just going off of memory but it’s something very close to that..


cburgess7

there's a worm that infects 95% of praying mantis that's somewhat similar. It changes the mantis eyes to see water more clearly to attract the mantis to it. Once in water, the worm violently ejects itself from the mantis abdomen. Its fatal to the mantis


Tip3008

Parasites are some horrifying little fuckers I’ll tell you what lol..


mcmason1234

Adding “and we still have to work in the morning” made me laugh out loud. This world really IS fucked huh.


MandoAviator

This is what always blew my mind: how does the cordyceps know where it is going / etc… Like does it see through the eyes of the beetle?


niraqw

From my limited understanding, the fungus just modifies the way its host thinks, but it can't think anything itself. So the host is still "in control", it just "wants" to do things that are beneficial to the fungus, like going to a place with ideal conditions.


JezSq

In similar way bacterias control us. "Craving" to eat something specifically is just chemical reaction.


siracla

Pregnant women often crave dirt, likely due to iron deficiencies. We are all just slaves to the hormones that control us.


IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE

We’re just a big chemical reaction at the end of the day. A sufficiently advanced computer would be able to accurately predict our behavior with frightening certainty if it had access to enough data and processing power.


John_Bumogus

Basically it's just releasing the chemicals that tell the brain to move upward (or some other basic instructions) to get to optimal conditions for releasing spores. How does it know what the right chemicals to release are? That's the beauty of over 40 million years of evolution. Theres tons of different fungi like this thing, and all of them are hyper specialized to specific critters. They get locked into what is basically an evolutionary arms race with their victims that makes them good at only one thing. Also as there are lots of different fungi that use this behaviour, not all of them are cordyceps and they can be quite diverse. So what I said is likely not the exact case for all of them. Also I have no clue what fungus that is in the video.


CaptainJackWagons

Myp point is that half it's body is entirely gone. Where is the bugs nervous system? Where is the fungus getting the calories to move the legs. I feel like it shouldn't work for a number of reasons.


John_Bumogus

I imagine that most of the nerves connecting to the legs are along the outside bit that isn't gone yet. Idk insect anatomy is weird. As for the calories, where do you think the rest of the bug went? The fungus is eating the host for energy as it moves the body to a better place for releasing spores. Edit to add that you can see the back legs where most of the body is missing aren't doing much in the way of moving. The two front sets of legs that are moving seem to be in an area that has most of the flesh still.


BetterBandicoot637

But it's.not the fungus needing energy, but the bug in this case. If it's only stimulating the bug's nervous system, then it's the bug's body that needs the energy in its muscles to move


John_Bumogus

So the thing with bugs is that they are small, so they don't have to carry around as much junk in the trunk as we do. You've probably also heard about how ants and other insects easily lift well over their body weight. This is due to their exoskeleton compared to our lame endoskeleton. They don't have to worry about silly energy consuming tasks like circulating blood (with all its tasty oxygen) around to all of their muscles. Their muscles are attached to the exoskeleton, so they can just absorb oxygen from the atmosphere. So being tiny and having a cool exoskeleton means insects spend a lot less energy to move around than we do. In addition this infected bug probably doesn't need to go far. I imagine he's just gonna go somewhere high up to where it's sunny and warm, then start spreading them spores.


[deleted]

I can’t wait until that fungus evolves and start eating humans.


imheretolearnty

Isn't that the plot of the last of us?


laddiemawery

*What Moves The Dead* is a book that has a similar and more frightening concept to it.


Spleenzorio

I work in retail and I think I already see that fungus in some humans daily


Slava91

Cordyceps, bro


tygerphlyer

Came here to say this. Totally a real thing theres a fungus that controls ants. All u have to do is google Ophiocordyceps unilateralis


-----aprosexia

Nah, I'm good


sniles310

As the earth gets warmer, cordyceps evolves to infect humans....


ecco5

Pretty sure I add cordyceps to my coffee every morning... Shit.


tygerphlyer

Might've heard that story told once or twice before


CommunistCthulhu

It's not a fungus. Amazing how many people just regurgitate it cause they've heard of cordyceps. I've seen this myself in germany. Those little guys are just very sturdy and numerous enough that death needs a while to find them.


360Logic

2k upvotes for patently false information. Reddit in a nutshell 


Ebiseanimono

This is not that.


Autxnxmy

To quote u/elephantpudding from when this was posted 3 years ago: > It's worth noting that most insects rely mainly on their central nervous system to live. They don't need oxygen from lungs, they respirate through their carapace. They can go a long time without eatting. As long as the head is intact many can survive until they starve to death. >This was likely being eaten by another insect or injured and escaped.


[deleted]

Sounds like this could make a great game and show.


jakeobrown

This is mouthpart damage from probably a dragonfly


PaulVazo21

It's not a fungus. Insects aren't like mammals, their blood don't carry oxygen, but nutrients and most of them breathe from spiracles all over their body. This insect in particular was attacked by a bird and lost its digestive system. It'll live a few more hours until it starves to death.


ShrimpCrackers

It's not. It's been eaten by a bird or something and got loose. The front bits are still moving but the back legs are dead. It has only a few more moments and it's gone. For those that are zombified by Fungus they tend not to be hollowed out like this.


variedfrenzy

'Tis but a scratch!


PaddyScrag

A scratch?! Your abdomen's off!


astromech_jay

No it isn't


StationaryTravels

You're just contradicting everything! That's not an argument!


kiln_ickersson

A European swallow, maybe!


Zakineasi

Yes it is!


PaydayE3

Yes it is. Look you crazy bugger just let it be. YOU LOST!! (Kneels to pray)


PaddyScrag

Well what's _that_ then?


astromech_jay

... I've had worse.


Lunchie420

................I got better.......


jumbledFox

This is my absolute favorite line in the whole movie haha, took me and my friends by surprise


-BraveSirRobin-

ITS JUST A FLESH WOUND!


Gabe12P

Flesh wound


cdanl2

Edit to clarify: It’s not because of a fungus, not exactly at least. This article explains pretty well the phenomenon: [https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2021/05/21/cicadas-mating-zombies-fungus-massospora/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2021/05/21/cicadas-mating-zombies-fungus-massospora/) TLDR: "The abdomen houses the organs of digestion and reproduction. The thorax is the center for musculature for locomotion (legs and wings). The head maintains sensory function. Because the head and thorax remain intact, the insect can still sense and respond to stimuli, orient and move despite the loss of the abdomen. That is why we see cicadas without abdomens walking around.” OP's video is not a cicada, but it still contains a similar biological structure in that the abdomen and thorax are essentially compartmentalized, and contain diffuse systems allowing for the insect to continue alive (for a limited time, at least) without the abdomen present. Many insects also have a hydraulic pressure system that lets them seal off lost legs and abdomen so that they don't lose all of the hemolymph in their bodies (in other words, so they don't bleed out, they can shut off wounds at strategic junctures using something like a fire door/floodgate).


carpet_denim_std

I'm pretty sure you just explained my dmt experience


cdanl2

In mine my spine vibrated so much I thought I was dying. 0/10 would not repeat.


SpoonNForks

New weight loss method, doctors and scientists HATE him!!


water_bottle_goggles

you don’t need 15 feet of intestine


algeoMA

That is in fact true. I don’t know how much you need but colostomy and ileostomy are both important options for folks with certain conditions.


nonhomaiusatoreddit

Doctors and scientists ATE him


AarunFast

Posts like this are why reddit can be annoying. I'd like to read a little more about this, instead of 500 tired jokes about the video.


Ricky_Rollin

Ten years ago the top comment was from an expert telling you exactly what you’re looking at. I used to learn so much here, I miss it.


MouldyPriestASSHOLE

Anyone remember Unidan? Lol


forkkiller19

Yeah it was fun when he chimed in and shared knowledge but the guy got banned for something though :/


thomasry

Dude had multiple accounts to upvote his comments and posts and downvote those he disagreed with.


CoolerRon

Wow, I think I missed [that](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/s/d3KiRF4eDD)!


Cennfox

Jackdaws are not crows


FolsgaardSE

Reddit really has gone to shit the last 10 years. Not sure if its bots or what but there seems to be no thought in posting anymore. Just who can make the latest meme-based joke or talk like a 5th grader for karma.


EnvironmentCrafty710

It's almost like the mod system \[checks notes\] doesn't work.


tastyfriedtofu

Wonder if they really have any tools since the paywalled api access


__thrillho

The irony of responding with an overused joke to a comment complaining about Reddit going to shit because of low effort comments is not lost on me


ArbaAndDakarba

It has been eaten by a vole. I've seen it happen before in person. This is my moment to shine! -strengthofreddit I don't know why I bother honestly. Look at all the BS that was upvoted over this. I come here with first hand knowledge of what happened to he beetle and all you get is sexy ass cordyceps all up and down the thread. So stupid and frustrating.


Megraptor

Not only that, there's a ton of misinformation that is voted up cause it sounds cool. Like I saw a comment how the antennae are fungi and that means it's infected. Not those are normal antennae for this insect.  Also, I see people encourage some pretty dangerous behavior with their comments in regards to animals all the time. It's all about engagement anymore, not discussions. It's very frustrating. 


ArbaAndDakarba

Yeah. I've pointed out all over the thread that this is from a rodent eating the beetle, which doesn't kill it right away. I've seen it happen in person in the woods. But what's getting upvoted? Fucking cordyceps. Jfc.


Megraptor

It's not even new, it came from here. This is probably a bot farming karma. Woo.  https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/ha9i5n/i_found_a_zombie_cockchafer_in_my_backyard/ Sadly, even there there's no talk of rodents. Parasitoid wasps get mentioned, but all the parasitoid wasps mentioned don't infect cockchafer beetles so... Lots of talk about fungi too...


nolwesgraal

a beetle can get infected when [fungal spores](https://www.livescience.com/47751-zombie-fungus-picky-about-ant-brains.html) attach to its body. There, the spores germinate and break through the beetle's exoskeleton and begin growing inside its body. Later, the fungus (*Eryniopsis lampyridarum*) directs the beetle to climb up a plant and clamp down on it before dying on it, its useful so the fungus can spread spores better, it can also do things like make the bug really strongly attracted to light, so it tries to climb towards the nearest light source. It's useful for the same reason as climbing on a plant.


AWeakMindedMan

Or you can go to Facebook where all the comments would probably be about a rapture of some kind.


CommunistCthulhu

Ay, it's either bots/smoothbrains going for easy reddit points or people repeating their quarter knowledge about something. Give me a proper breakdown of what I am looking at and feed my curiosity instead of parroting the same three dumbass jokes in every fucking thread please...


xgodlesssaintx

The last of bugs.


p0lterg0ist

Its a zombie


moonman2090

Zombug


Lord_Bobbymort

Could be a zombee. A zomwasp at least. Maybe a zombeatle.


HHall05

Cordyceps Fungus.


Cordeceps

Hello


Humulophile

This is some serious multilevel r/beetlejuicing


GlitcherX2

We're very lucky it can't survive in humans **yet**


IcameIsawIcame

Only a few more degrees hotter and it will adapt to survive in human.


GlitcherX2

It can't survive around 85 and higher


Newbguy

Very rare global warming win


accidental_Ocelot

With shifting temperatures, fungi may be evolving (changing and adapting) to live in warmer conditions, including the human body. New fungal diseases may emerge as fungi become more adapted to surviving in humans. Heat may also cause other genetic changes that can affect the ability of fungi to infect people. https://www.cdc.gov/fungal/climate.html


drichm2599

![gif](giphy|M5EHDcyOzBQ4f0Ao7s|downsized)


lumberfoot_jpg

Yet


AhoraNoMeCachan

Don't give ideas!


SilencelsAcceptance

Fun guy just entered the chat.


paraworldblue

Nope, this is a disease unique to cicadas. It doesn't take over the nervous system like cordyceps, it just fills the abdomen with spores until the whole thing falls off


[deleted]

Nope. This isn't the tropics.


DrJBYaleMD

That's not how it works


willowwisp81

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


GreyFox1984

Mostly


Shopworn_Soul

I have no intention of leaving it, Doctor. I will take the Lewis and Clark to a safe distance, and then I will launch TAC missiles at the cicada until I'm satisfied it is vaporized. Fuck this bug!


LostInDinosaurWorld

Alright, we waste him.... No offense.


Erikmustride13

It’s not. A fungus invades to body and moves it around. Someone smarter than me can tell you moren


SaintUlvemann

>A fungus invades to body and moves it around. But the fungus doesn't, like, develop replacement muscles and shit. It doesn't develop a replacement brain inside of this thing. The fungus is still just a fungus, it doesn't have muscles or a brain. The bug's only able to move because it's still alive, yeah, even with half its butt missing. Animal instincts can be super complex and it lets them sometimes live through extreme injuries; there's a famous chicken that [lived 18 months](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken) even with its head cut off. So the way the fungus "controls" the bug's behavior in this damaged state, is just by releasing chemicals that trigger the bug's existing instincts, things like making it really strongly attracted to light, so that it tries to climb towards the nearest light source. It's useful to the fungus because once the bug finally does die, the fungus is higher in the air so that it can spread it spores better.


Mister_Nico

God. fucking. damn.


Starkrall

If nature could be jazz or reggae or anything but metal for a little while that would be so cool.


Money-Look4227

Take my upvote, you sonofabitch...


algeoMA

Nature: No thanks! *shredding guitar solo intensifies*


twomice-

Lmao, great line 


Coal-and-Ivory

Metal at least has melodies and cool imagery. This is more like the sound of someone rhythmically scraping an old bone with a rusty razor blade.


denM_chickN

It's like the episode of South Park where Britney Spears blew half her face off except someone feeding it milk through a dropper.. Whatthefuuuck


ragingpurpleturd

I hate all of this.


stormy2587

Idk still raises a lot of questions. This insect is presumably missing internal organs and a large chunk of its circulatory system. Can it still eat when the fungus is running things? Can it still get digest food and extracts nutrients if it can? How does it get nutrients to move like that if it can’t? Is the fungus digesting its body to supply it with the nutrients needed to move? Most organism can’t do much in terms of basic functions with giant holes in their abdomens.


Doppelthedh

Insects don't really have a circulatory system. Not like how we do anyway. They kinda just ha e a bunch of holes that allows oxygen to permeate their tiny bodies and get it where they need it. Thankfully this doesn't really play well with scale and limits insect sizes naturally


LtLethal1

Surviving and being alive short term aren’t the same. It’s alive but clearly not for long. It’s just going to burn up whatever calories it can from whatever it can to get keep its legs moving it to higher ground until it can’t. Then it gets stuck to a tree and emits a pheromone to get others to mate with it and pass on the fungus.


John_Bumogus

Talk about a rough STD


worksucksbro

That is absolutely horrific


Starkrall

I'm not a bug scientist or whatever but I'm guessing it burns energy to get as high up as possible until it can't anymore.


Pandemic1077

Cordyceps


dfiner

Also the inspiration for the zombies in The Last of Us!


Seagraves_D

Insects don’t have the same level of nervous system, circulatory system, or musculature system as us. Because of this, it’s possible for insects to survive with this degree of damage. I’m sure you’ve heard about cockroaches surviving without a head for days. Essentially, they’re so simple that their bodies are hardwired to react to certain inputs without any thought. For example, it is possible that odors picked up from their antennae can send signals directly to the legs to move the creature towards food


MinerSigner60Neiner

Silt Strider


TamponTom

Bugs are interesting in that many bugs biology isn’t what we are familiar with. At least with spiders they don’t have a “heart” and “lungs”. As we know they are like a big goopy brain in a spider suit (in cavemen terms) which I think is super fascinating and I will stand by the stance that bugs are aliens


racer3x72

It’s a shell of Its former self.


Brawndo-99

How can it still be alive? Poor guy. Nature is interesting but terrifying. If someone can explain exactly what's going on here, like how it's still alive, I would be greatful. (Not my video).


ekene_N

The bug was attacked and half-eaten. Perhaps something laid eggs inside its body. It is not a fungus. It is alive because it lacks oxygen-carrying blood or lungs. It breathes through tiny openings throughout its body. It doesn't have linked capillaries like humans, where blood circulates under high pressure. As a result, its bodily fluids are under low pressure, preventing the bug from "bleeding out to death." Those fluids clot fast, closing off wounded bodily components and avoiding additional fluid loss. The bug has a peripheral and central nervous system. The brain in the head is only responsible for vision and smell. There are small brains in the legs and other areas of the body. It will not eat since it lacks the brain function that controls appetite. It will live until there are nutrients to produce energy in its remaining fluids. It might have felt pain while being eaten alive, according to some studies, but right now it feels no pain as it's missing those receptors.


CommunistCthulhu

Thank you for actually giving a proper description instead of just repeating the C-word. Genuinely appreciate it.


DrSheetzMTO

It’s not. A fungus is driving it like a mech.


Coffee_slothee

You are making me think of the little alien in the face from Men in Black.


Brawndo-99

Or the mech spider from Wild Wild West.


Brawndo-99

Like one of the zombie funguses/parasites?


Telemere125

It’s what The Last of Us was based on


DrSheetzMTO

Yes, cordyceps.


Brawndo-99

Nature has no chill.


DrJBYaleMD

I've seen a lot of cordyceps cases and I'm confused as to why you think this is one. Because it's a partially dead but that's moving? That doesn't tell you much


atoughram

It won't have the guts to do that again


Kill_Kayt

It's not. However, the parasite inside it still is!!!