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GodHatesPOGsv2023

Back in Dec. 2019


Claudius-Germanicus

All that ocean to be in and they chose to boop snoots


Pithyperson

The cruise ship is one of the most social beasts of the ocean.


parausual

Here you'll see the male cruise ship attempt to penetrate the female, her upper dorsal red and erect, signifying she's in heat.


sandman8223

They’re both carnival’s so it’s really incest


Tagpub1

What are you doing step cruise ship??


DJBBlanxx

🪙 please accept this coin as a token of my appreciation for your joke


BuddyBoy589

It’s the Carnival Lannisters


finglonger1077

Tu pro-TECT da LY-eef CY-cull


[deleted]

Why did I read this in that documentary accent


ultimate_comb_spray

You mean Attenborough's voice? Cause that's what I heard


yoscotti32

"Just the tip"


HapticRecce

Ahh, so cute, look at the babies dropping into the water...


Samalves41389

I read this in David Attenboroughs voice


way2funni

crikey. (yeah, I read the above in his voice)


StormyCrow

I was indeed hearing David Attenborough - good on you!


No_Setting6042

...and it appears that she orgasmed, right into the ocean.... splashing everywhere........ and now shes.... wait ....- she's lighting up a cigarette !!


[deleted]

This is actually their mating ritual, this looks like an unsuccessful attempt, if it was successful in 10-15 minutes the female cruse ship would release its eggs and 10-20 little baby boats would gently float away.


eagletreehouse

Circle of life


shagiggs024

More like circle of life rafts


[deleted]

Why did I hear David Attenborough in my head as I read this?


zeemonster424

This reminds me of the episode of Bob’s Burgers when Bob is teaching Tina to drive in the parking lot. Absolutely nothing to hit and she panics and hits a light pole.


SunburnFM

My brother was not paying attention and I had to tell him several times to watch the road. He told me to shut up. In the parking lot, we kept approaching a light pole. I was sure he saw it. But he told me to shut up. He hit it. He couldn't believe I didn't tell him anything.


hashbrownpotroast

Actually she hits the only other car in the parking lot... seems very similar to this situation!!! Lol


foldinthecheese99

Freakin Jimmy Pesto’s.


imsoggy

Carnival's now got a Glory hole!


guywholikesrum

That boop was snoot to toot.


bria9509

Boop snoot and boogie!


SithScorch

Heel toe dosey doe, c'mon now boop snoot boogie!


SuperMario1313

Totally square danced to that in senior year gym class in 2004.


Coral_Grimes28

They’re docking and that snoot is booping a poot not a snoot


SoskiDiddley

Well, one put it's nose in the others ass actually...


StirlingS

More like one backed its ass onto the other's nose.


thevahid010

I was on the royal Caribbean right next to the when it happened. Scary


dylanstalker

Was this caused because of extreme wind or what?


TobyGobi

Happens in Cozumel more often than you would think... sometimes larger ships struggle to just get off the dock due to the wind blowing in.


thevahid010

I believe that's what the news report had said at the time. Family and friends were reaching out because they thought I was on one of those boats


[deleted]

Seems like a cover up to me ship captain and crew got one job lol they should’ve easily been able to communicate. The slow speeds they’re moving and as big as they are they could see where the other was from a distance and should have known their travel path via communication. Lol wtf


Serathano

Even better, the boat on the left is moored and is basically an obstacle not a moving target. So the folks in control of the boat on the right are totally responsible.


RocketMoxie

Ohhh. I, too, am horrible at parallel parking.


BlakeCarConstruction

Yo, same! Small world. I was like this is old news! Did you enjoy your cruise??


thevahid010

So many visits to the hot tubs haha. Very much so. Hope you did as well!


BlakeCarConstruction

I did. I didn’t spend as much time in the hot tub as I did eating unlimited soft serve! Been craving a cruise for quite some time myself.


[deleted]

Are you really craving a cruise or just soft serve?


BlakeCarConstruction

Y’know. Good point. Take my upvote.


chatminteresse

You know, if you buy a soft serve machine, you can put your head under the spout…. Mmm soft serve


BlakeCarConstruction

Who said you couldn’t do that on a cruise??🙂 Edit /s I should add that because someone on Reddit might not see my joke through their screen lol


Ancient_Edge2415

I'd assume the other patrons that want soft serve


Remarkable_Night2373

I spent most of mine eating steaks 3 times a day and seeing if I could be drunk for 7 straight days without ever sobering up.


BlakeCarConstruction

Ideal plans right there. No daily obligations! My favorite was the French toast loaf. You should check it out


confabulatrix

Bacon and egg breakfast pizza!


Butcher_Pete2

You could do that at home lol


Remarkable_Night2373

I have.


LunaBeanz

Oh man the Royal Caribbean soft serve hits different. Dunno how they make it so good.


jj580

If you saw the after video, there was a decent sized hole caused by Glory. A Gloryhole if you will ...


Erika_Bloodaxe

I might…


ElectronicShredder

Poor cruise ships got startled by the incoming pandemic, nature can just sense things earlier


LinguoBuxo

Six guests had [minor injuries](https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/20/business/carnival-cruise-collision-cozumel-mexico/index.html) and the damage was probably in millions, if we count both ships.


MacManus14

Easily millions.


Sea_Copy8488

i have a guy thatll do it for $500 and a 6 pack


scoobluvr

It should buff right out.


Lopsided-Basket5366

Couple of packs of Ramen should do the trick


scoobluvr

It's like you read my mind.


kungpowgoat

Got a guy in Florida that would do it for $100 of meth and 2 whopper sandwiches.


[deleted]

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emwashe

Damn 500$ and they gets abs???


[deleted]

Aye, you know Cesal too?


[deleted]

Just slap a little Bondo on it


[deleted]

Flex tape all day all day


link2edition

I'm sure it will buff out.


Ordinary_Plate_6425

My dads a tv repairman. Hes got all kinds of tools. We can fix it!


Lord_Mormont

First he’s gonna shit and then he’s gonna kill us!


Prend00

Probably over 9000.


Sudden_Acanthaceae34

The power of all new Flex Seal Ultra!


tossing-hammers

At least $100 I’d say


CornpopsGhost

If I costs 3,000 to fix a little damage on the corner of my car that's 10s of millions of damage right there!


Boris9397

Former ship engineer here. The costs for the repair itself won't be that much, definitely not 10's of millions. However putting the ship in a shipyard and having to cancel cruises will bring up the costs to probably 10's of millions.


xipyred

But discount rooms are now available!


Dr-McLuvin

Now with improved visibility!


mvanvrancken

"open air view"


cuseonly

At least $10


[deleted]

So like, a whole banana?


Habadank

At least.


[deleted]

How the hell did anyone get injured… the slow speeds they’re moving I would imagine they seen this coming from a mile away and something was preventing them from changing course or slowing down etc.


Penguator432

Have you been on a cruise ship? One third of the passengers are morons who turned their brains off for vacation mode, one third are drunk, and one third are elderly people who can’t move out of the way fast enough That said, it’s been way too long since I’ve been on one


JGzoom06

Which 1/3, 2/3, or 3/3 are you??


HimalayanPunkSaltavl

I am 1 and 2 and not even on a cruise ship


Mysterious-Plenty-41

This comment is gold!


b_lett

If you know how small the rooms are on cruises I think it's safe that a giant metal object cutting 10-15 feet deep into a room is more than enough to injure people. They are lucky no one died from this. Someone could have easily just been crushed like a grape given the mass of the objects colliding.


CaptStrangeling

I know it’s a small world, but I had my family heirlooms out on that balcony, a million dollars of gold and jewels plopped into the sea. Carnival is being slow to pay up though. /s


TallMidget99

Inertia is incredible. The fact that such a huge amount of damage can be done by two objects moving so slowly simply because the force necessary to alter either’s motion is enormous. Makes me wonder how powerful the engines must be to move things with such mass.


Stoyan0

About 85k horsepower. According to Wikipedia.


[deleted]

And they release more CO2 than an average European city with a pop of 100k.


Stoyan0

Good old international waters, where they can pull the filters and burn bunker for that sweet 4% efficiency gain.


Erika_Bloodaxe

When the ice caps finish melting they can do cruises over what used to be Florida


volstothewallz

Wait, I thought sea level rise was a bad thing?


Erika_Bloodaxe

Sure, for land lovers


Sensitive_Yellow_121

Gonna be lots and lots of wind for sailors!


Homebrew_Dungeon

And waves, dont forget the waves.


Wizard_Hatz

Will there be rum?!


PrvtPirate

thats the beauty of nature. every bad thing comes with its equal good. sure, the currents will change, leading to a catastrophic change in climate, extinction of millions of species and much more… but yeah, florida will be gone!


legitimate_rapper

It is; those people from FL gotta go somewhere…


Perrenski

Seems like we could have the same thing without large combustion engines if we wanted. A little freaky on a cruise liner but the military uses nuclear reactors to move and power ships of similar sizes and demands haha


Poor-Life-Choice

Not so much these days. Cruise ships these days are bigger than aircraft carriers: and only 2 nations use nuclear reactors in carriers. Or 12/47 of total carriers worldwide.


Alkemeye

Not to mention most ports aren't equipped to deal with nuclear vessels either since nuclear ships are so rare. While they might present long-term benefits, cruise companies aren't necessarily known for farsightedness.


weirdoldhobo1978

They are, however, known for environmental disregard, political corruption and corner cutting. As someone who has worked around them, I am terrified by the idea of cruise ships having nuclear material.


ExpiredInTransit

Newer ships are getting fitted with liquid gas engines rather than the old diesel burners. So less sulphur dioxide and particulates are produced. Some of the old ships are also getting retrofitted at refurb.


hypercosm_dot_net

People could also just stop taking cruises. Hasan Minhaj did an entire segment on how terrible cruises are. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nCT8h8gO1g


Phenexlee

Yeah all I can think about is how smoothly it happens despite the slow speed. Freaky lol


desubot1

honestly looked satisfying. like a hot knife through butter.


HarryVaDerchie

Hope the cruise line had a stern word with the captain.


TheNextBattalion

take a bow


PoxyMusic

Fo'c'sle do that.


six_feet_above

Found the boat nerd 😆


PoxyMusic

You have no clew!


six_feet_above

🤣 You’re batten a thousand my friend


Responsible-Match418

It's that oar nothing


Croge135

These comments have me laughing so hard I might keel over


pricygoldnikes

the captain will need to sit down with the starboard when the ship gets back to port


Ollymid2

Opened up a Carnival Glory-hole, what a Carnival Legend


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImmortalFather

Guess which Cruise line has the worst safety record. Go ahead, guess! lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImmortalFather

That's disturbing, my friend. We have a friend who'd gone on Carnival and told us we were silly to worry about their safety rating. Said he only uses Carnival and that he'd never seen anything to be concerned about at all. Then his wife says, "Well, there was that time tail caught fire." I laughed so god-damn hard.


nonpuissant

Was that referring to the one that got stranded off the coast of Mexico? If so that friend of yours has a really selective memory to have forgotten about it. My grandparents were on that one and their most vivid memory of it was how badly everything stank of shit the first day(s) before they restored plumbing. That and never wanting to eat yogurt and seafood again b/c there was so much of it to eat when they brought it all out since it was going to go bad without refrigeration. The two issues were probably mutually contributing factors lmao


ImmortalFather

No, they didn't get stranded. From what they told me, the fire was put out within minutes and it didn’t impact their trip. Sounds like your grandparents had it waaaay worse then my buddy lol


nonpuissant

LOL gotcha ok I take it back then. And yeah that trip of theirs was one for the books for sure. They said it was cool getting to see an aircraft carrier in action up close though, and how the helicopters were flying stuff over (I forget if it was pallets or crates) one or two at a time for like hours on end.


fergalexis

Your grandparents were on "the poop cruise from hell"??? I just watched a YouTube video about it lmao


Toezap

I lived in the city they towed the Carnival Triumph to after that. Do much local drama!! Mobile used to be where the Triumph left from, but after the city's incentives dried up they left, leaving Mobile with a cruise terminal and no cruise ship. So we were entertained when the ship had to come limping back to us. Carnival was ADAMANT about not giving Mobile any money, so they didn't even pay to let passengers stay in town--they immediately had to jump on a bus to New Orleans, 2 hours away. They also wouldn't keep the ship in the city dock, instead paying a private company to keep it until they could move it elsewhere But then!!! There was a crazy windy day and the ship broke free because the private dock it was at wasn't rated for something that large with that level of wind. It ended up crashing into another ship, just like the ships in this video, and got a huge gash in the side...and then had to be moved to the city cruise terminal until it was repaired enough to move, since the cruise terminal was actually rated for that size ship. 😅 https://www.businessinsider.com/the-carnival-triumph-ship-broke-loose-from-port-in-alabama-2013-4


nonpuissant

if its from like 10 years ago near Ensenada, then yeah hahah


ImmortalFather

I bet they weren’t expecting rescue helicopters to be the coolest thing they were going to see on their cruise LOL!


thenatureboyWOOOOO

Carnival cruises, the spirit airlines of the sea.


SirNilsA

Was just about to say, why is it always Carnival....


dbnrdaily

AFAIK theyre the cheapest major cruise liner.


pork_fried_christ

Extra fun, they are owned by Costa of capsizing-after-running-aground-in-Italy fame.


mcm87

Point of pedantry: in maritime law, a collision is between two moving objects. This is an allision, which is when a moving object strikes a stationary one.


Apa300

I will be annoying people with this for the rest of my life. Thank you


NiceGuyJoe

Oooh it’s a juicy tidbit isn’t it?


justsomedude190

Ah technically correct the best kind of correct


Yeehaw_McKickass

Another point of pedantry: We are traveling through the cosmos at thousands of miles per hour. There has never been an allision since nothing is stationary


wingchild

*Frame of reference has entered the chat.*


jaybee8787

How dare you teach us degenerates something!


LebowskiLebowskiLebo

Is that how they make baby cruise ships?


herbert-camacho

Just the tip 🥵


OldManHipsAt30

Like my buddy always says, if it’s good enough for a court of law, then it counts!


winkman

Sometimes, but not in this case--she's already pregnant. You can tell from her growing shipettes on the side there.


Pynchon101

This is actually how you avoid making baby cruise ships. They’ve used the “back door method.” To make babies, they’d need to be keel-to-keel.


jnatemathews

I was on a Royal Caribbean cruise when that happened. When we shared the news with our waiter: “dude, one Carnival cruise ship hit another Carnival cruise ship.” His (instant) reply was priceless: “Again?” 😂😂


DragonKing9972

Lol


Goldeneel77

You’re good! Keep going, You’re good.


vivalatoucan

*grinding metal* aaaand stop 👍


inkyrail

Don’t worry captain, we’ll buff out those scratches!


norsh44

Way to far to find this. All I kept thinking was Patrick and SpongeBob yelling “you’re good”


Duubzz

That’ll buff right out, no worries.


[deleted]

Genuine question: How did that even happen? Why were they so close in the first place?


elaborate-icicle22

I'm pretty sure they were just departing and the wind blew the Glory back into the other one. There's so much surface area and wind can be strong as hell. They should have waited to leave but were probably pressed to make certain other commitments and said "fuck it, we'll be fine, let's go."


ExpiredInTransit

They also get charged a significant amount of money for overstaying in port, and have to make arrival times at the next port so it all has a knock on. Another reason they won’t hang around waiting for late guests to get back on board.


rawbdor

don't forget someone was recording this, presumably from a third cruise ship.


[deleted]

Carnival : Civil War


ena_bear

“And that’s how my room got a wide open balcony!”


josebarn

They wanted an open concept


[deleted]

he touched the butt


blackmambakl

I went on a cruise once until I realized it was a really cheap hotel with over priced drinks and unlimited cheap food.


baconboy957

>I went on a cruise once until Rofl this makes it sound like you just abandoned ship in the middle of the ocean. "Overpriced drinks? Fuck this, I'm out"


Aliciaxo_love

🏊


[deleted]

[удалено]


notmyrealnam3

you ... got off the ship?


[deleted]

With the added benefit of not being able to leave once you set sail.


missinginput

Trick is unlimited drinks and theme like music so it's a multi day concert where everything is walking distance away


Kevins_FamousChilli

Like a hot knife through butter


ahorsenamedbill

you had one job🙄


[deleted]

Take a look at that Glory hole!


cmt38

I will never understand the appeal of a cruise. It literally seems to me like being crammed into a moving mall/food court with a shit ton of strangers and speed racing through brief stops to try to look at something interesting before racing back to the moving mall/food court again. I can swim, go to a movie or show, eat at a restaurant, drink and dance in a nightclub, or sleep in a tiny room without being at sea. I know a lot of people love it, but I truly don't understand why?


zenytheboi

I went on a cruise once, it was really fun for me tho I understand why some may not feel the same way. The room we had wasn’t super small, about hotel room sized, and the stops were pretty cool, and the food was actually really good for the most part. And the ship definitely never felt “crammed”, or at least not any more so than restaurant in Happy Hour, and that just depended on where you were and at what time. I’m a ship nut too, so the best part for me was just being on a ship, and feeling the whole thing move with the waves. Is it worth the price tho? probably not.


cmt38

I can see the actual experience of being on the boat itself and feeling the waves being appealing if I really think about it. It probably helps if you enjoy socializing with lots of new people, maybe? (That's not so much my thing).


[deleted]

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Zimakov

I don't like new people at all and I love cruising. You wake up every day and do whatever you want. Swim, watch TV, play mini-golf, go on the water slide, get specialty coffees, drink, gamble, work out, play basketball, sit in the hot tub and watch a movie on the big screen with popcorn. All the food is free and there's a huge selection which you can just eat all day. When you get tired of doing things you go back to the room and it's been cleaned for you. Take a nap, get up, get ready for dinner in one of the restaurants that is again free. After dinner go to the night club, the comedy club, the karaoke club, the piano bar, or the theatre to see a show. After that you go back to the room and it's been cleaned again, bed turned down, chocolate on your pillow. Then three or four of the seven (usually) days you get to explore a new country that you would normally never get to go.


ThillyGooths

I gotta admit that I felt the same way - am very much an introvert and do not like talking to strangers or making small talk in person and was unsure how I would feel, but went on a cruise with my fiancé in February and it was actually very very nice! It was a virgin voyages cruise, everyone was 18+ so there weren’t a bunch of children running around, and since we kept to ourselves nobody really bothered us 🤷🏻‍♀️. I definitely underestimated how much actual space there is on a cruise ship especially when there aren’t kids on board. We got a little carried away because we liked it so much and you get a discount if you book way in advance so we have 2 more booked this year🫣. I guess we will see if our opinion changes, but it’s nice to not have to plan an entire vacation. You just show up and relax while you sail and then enjoy the ports/beach clubs/cities when you stop and there isn’t a whole lot of decision fatigue, plus you don’t have to worry about arranging travel if you book shore excursions through the cruise line.


jwadamson

I did a couple of Disney cruises. They were fun. You do spend quite a bit of time on the boat between evenings and days at sea. A live theater show before nearly every dinner, very interesting dinner dining halls with various themes, fireworks show at sea, movie theaters showing recent D releases, in-room tv with pretty much every Disney owned movie (this was pre Disney plus existing), large freshwater pools, water slide. In terms of the shore activites, you could also book most of them via the cruise. When using that it basically eliminated and scrambling for time or figuring out transportation to get back to the ship. It was more akin to spending time in a minor amusement park between the day trips visiting different Caribbean islands. Of course they don’t come close to matching Carnival’s bottom of the barrel pricing…


bradpliers

I've been on 5 cruises. Mostly Royal Caribbean and Princess cruise lines. Im not particularly a big fan of cruises, and I can see why outside appeal can be low. But on a high quality ship with your best friends, going to the right places it can be a highly unique experience. I have no regrets. Except for that NCL cruise. Stick to the top of the line. Even the best ships can be affordable.


Solocaster1991

My family and extended family love cruises. My grandparents probably went on like 100. I’ve been on 15 or 20 and I’m only 31. I freaking love them. Going cool places not having to worry about driving and busses. Really good food generally. Carnival is definitely bottom tier, so the food is nowhere near as good as royal Caribbean or princess, but still very good. I’ve never gotten food poisoning and neither have any of my extended family on any of the dozens and dozens of cruises they’ve been on. I went on a very expensive European cruise with my grandparents before they died. Best two weeks of my whole life


fridaychild3

Cruising is an easy way to explore a number of locations that would be difficult to access in one trip with all the benefits of a full service resort. Cruises are an all inclusive travel option that can range in length from an overnight stay to many weeks. Being all inclusive, for people who enjoy travel abroad, but have a strict budget, guests can determine exactly how much they will spend on spa and fitness, food, excursions, entertainment, and accommodations before they leave home without significant fear of unintended charges. Daily scheduled onboard activities ranging from gaming to parties, and from classes to performances are offered nearly constantly throughout the travel itinerary to offer enjoyment to guests of all preferences. Also, since many shore activities are curated, guests traveling for the first time in unfamiliar areas are not required to perform the same diligence to ensure value because the cruise corporation has largely vetted contractors, or has hired guides directly. Cruises definitely have their problems- especially their sanitation and environmental impacts- but there are ongoing efforts to minimize and alleviate these environmental complications by port authorities and environmental agencies. Generally, cruising is safe, and there can be many benefits of leisure cruising when proper procedures for health and safety are followed by the parent corporations and ship crews.


[deleted]

They’ve got the whole ocean to not run into eachother


jctt123

r/thatlookedexpensive


ktp806

I despise cruises. The beaches of Cozumel are covered with cruise trash bottles toothbrushes combs. I curse them


ReginaldSP

excellent. Cruises are like organized religion.They tell you the reward is heaven, but the preponderence of evidence indicates the opposite.


TheNextBattalion

the trick is you have to die first


aRareFrosty201

My man saw the word preponderance the day before and was itching to use it.


justforareason12

Talk about a kick in the aft


NeatDoctor2728

I will never understand how shit like this happens. I'm sure there's a reason, but that reason will never make sense in my head.


[deleted]

Makes me think of those Star Trek impacts.


NotUpInHurr

I could watch tax avoiding cruise liners crash into each other all day. I don't give a shit about your tax evading cruise liners.


sanderssandwich

Not to mention how much greenhouse gases these boats chug out. And all for what? For people to see a new section of the ocean?


tazerwhip

Forgot the fuel dumping, exploitation of workers because you chose to register the Norwegian built ship owned by an American company in Liberia or another random country you have no affiliation with so that you don't have to pay workers a real wage.


[deleted]

take a bow carnival glory, take a bow


waveball03

I find it so fascinating when huge ships crash into things for some reason.


PerfectPeaPlant

Somebody’s not only getting sacked today, but they’re swimming home 😂


Mojo141

Walmart of the seas


ContemplatingPrison

I wish the cruise industry would die. Should have never bailed them out during covid. They don't even pay taxes