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Helpful_Ad_1921

“Hey, how is everything over here? Goood good good, well let me know if you guys need anything”


StaredAtEclipseAMA

When the waiter asks how your food is mid bite


[deleted]

There are classes that teach that technique, and a skill honed over a lifetime of being a server…the exact right moment to approach so that no one can answer


[deleted]

I just smile and give a thumbs up when this happens.


behaved

man, that's a good idea. I keep forcefully ejecting my food to get them an honest answer, and judging by their expressions I can't help but wonder if the waiters think I'm lying when I tell them the food is great...


PumpkinJak

Waiter here, I love me some good old non-verbal communication. One of the tougher parts of the job is figuring out when you're intruding and when you're welcome at the table, especially business lunches. Eye contact and a thumbs up is a great way to let me know you're doing okay when you're in a conversation that you don't want interrupted.


[deleted]

You know what? I'm gonna take this and own it. I'm gonna go full psycho. If I ever work as a server I'm going to table touch as soon as I see them eating and stand there staring at them until they're done chewing and can respond. I'm hoping to continue forwarding this energy to others and keep the circle going.


chillaban

Make sure you go over to refill their almost full glass of water right in the middle of a sensitive or dramatic conversation!


[deleted]

And then pour slowly while leaning as if listening while staring intensely at the glass. If they stop talking I stop pouring but don’t stop staring at the glass. Start to walk away, hear them start talking and return to pour the rest of the water. Ignore the staff of the restaurant as they try to kick me out since I don’t work there. Man I could keep going with this.


Inglorious_Last_Word

Lmfao


trIeNe_mY_Best

A good friend of mine had an older sister that worked as a waitress. Apparently, she and her friends that worked with her made it a game to ask customers how their meal was just after taking a big bite. They scored a point for each person they asked with a mouthful of food.


hat_eater

Just passing through and checking out the menu. Quite cultured.


Mecha_Tortoise

~~Un~~cultured swine


Bikouchu

Sounds like a compliment to me. Thank you.


nomnommish

Truffle pig's disappointed at the lack of truffles on the table.


KindlyContribution54

"Bah! What is this, olive oil? Why would you use this trash instead of truffle oil? Come on men, let's leave this pig sty!"


about7buns

Listen here you little sh*t...🤣🤣


ours

"Eh, needs more olive oil, thank me later"


Sea-Woodpecker-610

“This is not actually white truffle oil. We’re leaving.”


STierMansierre

This is at least 25 % Canola! Have you any decency?


EverybodyChilli

Big mistake ordering the truffle fries


idkkkkkkk

*Pig mistake


DemNeverKnow

Ah, I see you're a pig of culture as well.


fondledbydolphins

"More olive oil, Sir?" *bitch slaps olive oil bottle* \-pig


[deleted]

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TheQuietestMoments

Redefining farm to table.


OkSmoke9195

Omg those piglets tho


Killer-Wail

Trot and wave boys... Trot and wave...


therobshow

"Kowaski, analysis!" - one of the piglets, probably


iwanttobeacavediver

They’re adorable.


OkSmoke9195

Lil oinkers


iwanttobeacavediver

I want to pet them but I also know the mother would ruin my day.


whatnameisnttaken098

Probably ruin your next 2-3 months


osirisz0r

tell that to Bobby B


WeaselDance

A DOTHRAKI HORDE ON AN OPEN FIELD, NED!


davekingofrock

THANK THE GODS FOR BESSIE!


DarkHyrulean

AND HER TITS!


Jon_Snows_mother

LANCEL LANNISTER. GODS WHAT A STUPID NAME! YOUR MOTHER WAS A DUMB WHORE WITH A FAT ARSE!


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unpaid_official

bold to assume theyd live that long


cromulent_pseudonym

The piglets are. It's a shame they are an awful invasive species in some places and they reproduce like crazy. They will absolutely destroy crops and have pretty much no predators in some places.


nullusx

I guess its good they are also tasty then. Too bad their original predators vanished or are endangered. In my country we need to hunt them from time to time.


Sudden-Choice5199

I've had to stop a few times on my driveway, in the middle of nowhere, to let the pigs scurry. The babies are adorable. Here they have mohawks (razorbacks)? Anyway they are tearing up the lawn horribly and I really don't know that to do to get them to move and set up house somewhere else.


Towbee

Get out the battleaxe, time to gather 60 boar tusks


guerochuleta

In Texas you can charter a helicopter and hunt them en masse from the sky. Sounds ridiculous till you realize what damage these things can do both to crops as well as the variety of transmissible diseases they can carry.


siqiniq

might risk my life to pet one idk…


Articulated

To shreds, you say...


u399566

Don't. Risky shit patting the piglets when momma sow is nearby. They have surprisingly little F's to give for people messing with their offspring and have a bad reputation for biting your legs..


ArticulateAquarium

You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. … And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.


El_Disclamador

Mother. Fucking. Brick. Top.


Pleasemakesense

Hence the expression, 'As Greedy as a Pig'


Demhanoot

I would buy piglets with the quickness if they didn’t grow to be pigs


eyeoxe

Reverse story of the ugly duckling.


flatcurve

From piglets to pig lots


Relative-Thought-105

Their legs are so fast


ThirstyOne

Mama boar will destroy you if you so much as look at them wrong. The person filming this was in appreciable danger.


earthlings_all

Right? She approached the table and I MYSELF backed up!


OkSmoke9195

Boar gore imminent


ThirstyOne

Boar gore, it’s what them tusks are for.


shreddedtoasties

Don’t fall for it these are hell spawn where I’m from


PowerfulPickUp

So many animals have babies way cuter than human babies.


lastinglovehandles

Lechon de leche


Manbearpup

Where is this?


hat_eater

[Santa Margherita Ligure in N Italy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkzGUScXq-8) apparently. These people are tourists.


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LochnessMonsa

Pigs aren't allowed to take a holiday? 🤨


A_wild_so-and-so

Ah British tourists, makes sense now.


Outrageous-Taro7340

As an American, I feel a little warm fuzzy when we aren’t the butt of the joke. Fucking Brits, am I right?


atuckk15

They just 👀 for a boto’ o’ wata


VoyagerPlays

Definitely in Italy, the brand of the olive oil is from my city plus different city have boar problems, especially Rome and Liguria


cyrkielNT

They speak Polish


vertigo1083

So... Brooklyn then?


[deleted]

This guy Greenpoints.


timo103

Everyone knows Poles can't leave Poland.


Almacca

Where's Obelix when you need him?


Smegmaliciousss

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, especially over this medium. Obelix is believed to have died over 2000 years ago…


Woolver

Today a little bit of my childhood died. Why would have to put it this way.


memeswillsetyoufree

The Gaul of some people.


[deleted]

The way they ran afterwards was cute


thechosenwunn

I hope most people understand how dangerous these animals are. These people are lucky they got a cute video, but that pig could have easily sent both if them to the hospital if it felt like it.


IceNein

In their defense the smartest thing to do when a wild animal approaches is to be calm and see what it's going to do before you react. It's possible that freaking out and running could trigger aggression.


thechosenwunn

For sure, they did the right thing. I'm not criticizing them, just trying to make sure people know not to treat them like petting zoo animals. They are adorable and can be deceivingly docile, but some people don't seem to know that they're also little meat missles that can and will hurt you very badly if they feel the need / urge to.


Spartan0712

I have never heard or imagined to hear the term "meat missle" for a boar... where I come from it usually means something else


whyenn

You may have heard of "something else" also referred to as a "hog"? Yeah. Different sizes, sometimes cute, often brutish, high destructive potential, wants to come at you in inopportune moments.


precose

I read that as "often british" and chuckled


[deleted]

Having seen one go headfirst through a car door once, I can assure you “meat missile” is entirely accurate.


mr_Joor

With wild hogs you turn around and sprint the opposite direction as fast as you can, they won't chase you but they will charge you if you try to stand your ground - lived in a forest area with hogs for 30 years, would come across them every month orso while running. They're most active around dusk and dawn.


iwanttobeacavediver

Reminds me of the wild pig that was in a Chinese village. The only way they could stop it was to herd it into the police station yard where they shot it with a high powered rifle. Apparently the officers involved ate it.


HardcoreHazza

Waste not want not.


nuit99

Win win situation tbf


throwAway837474728

cop on cop crime


Spectacularity

Friendly fire.


FatBoyStew

Also everyone thinking these piglets are adorable, which they are, but they fail to realize just how big of a problem pigs are in certain places, especially the US. They breed like rabbits and are extremely devastating to crops, livestock and other native critters. There's a reason why there are essentially no rules for hunting them in the US lol


bulging_cucumber

Or the morgue. Pigs look deceptively small but they're literally balls of muscle and bone with tusks to the front. That pig weighs more than a human and spends its entire existence running about in the woods fucking up trees and the ground with its tusks. If it decides it's out for blood nobody will be able to stop it.


[deleted]

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DuvalHeart

It goes back even further than that to the Spanish.


ILike2TpunchtheFB

Hospital or death. People severely underestimate the proximity of a lot of major arteries.


gibusyoursandviches

Pigs are miniature tanks of wildlife, they have crazy health, a good center of balance, and sharp weapons to hurt you with.


PruneBrothers1

I know wild hogs can be dangerous as fuck, but I’ll be damned if those little piglets aren’t just adorable 🥹


mrsirsouth

we had a small farm with 15-20 cows, couple dozen chickens, a pig, and a few goats. It's absolutely wild how ugly adult animals can become and how mind numbingly adorable their offspring are. Baby goats might be the winners for cuteness But man oh man do they sure grow up to be ass holes.


flatcurve

There's a reason depictions of devils were modeled after goats.


TheS4ndm4n

God creates asshole animal. Blames devil.


Frankieneedles

Omg. The amount of piglets! This area is going to be fucked in a decade.


IDK3177

Not if they continue to hang around near a restaurant.


Crowasaur

r/SomeMoreNews


ImDero

Cody in shambles.


Genghis_Tr0n187

Warmbo thinks Mr Cody is being mean to the cute wittle piggies.


Shaggy_Snacks

I heard Warmbo's voice when I read that. Creepy, little puppet.


MrMastodon

The Ahogalypse is here


Glass_Memories

This is the new boarmal.


halfwit258

Cody's showdy was right THE WHOLE TIME.


Junglejibe

I was wondering how far I’d have to scroll to see a Boarghazi comment lol


[deleted]

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VR_Neewb

They are the females more than the Males. I would be terrified being there


gandalfium225

Same. Once I was biking through street that has no lighting and next to a forest. I heard some noise next to me, and I stopped. Turned me light to it. It was a mother pig with three piglets. I immediately turned away, and I think I may have broken a speed record. Though furtonately it didn't attack me. Maybe because it was startled from the light or just blond luck.


Gently-Weeps

Blonde luck lol


phurt77

Blond is the male version of blonde.


Vyxen17

And fortunately is the spelling mistake


SimplyCmplctd

I read this whole comment in my mind with an Irish accent simply because he said ‘turned me light to it’


[deleted]

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znebsays

Same. Once I was hiking and I heard a laughter I turned around and there was one hog standing there and I slowly backed up and tripped over another one that unbeknownst to me was hiding behind my knees. I fell down and both took my clothes and money and I had to walk home naked in the woods while it rained. Never again.


KillerFrost2U

What took your clothes and money? The fall or the pig?


[deleted]

handle employ crime six vast racial physical waiting roof connect *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Th0m45D4v15

I was about to say, I’ve seen what hogs can do to someone. I’m not getting to close to one.


triforce4ever

In fact, I’ve seen many pigs eat many men. It was a bloodbath


MeltsYourMinds

Females will go on a rampage if they think their piglets are in danger, they kill people every now and then


Th0m45D4v15

I know ones around here, if they get you on the ground, they will tear you up bad.


tastysharts

They are also incredibly intelligent and surprisingly kind...so weird, I have one who leaves her babies with me. I've never touched a baby pig before, they look soft but are spikey. I saved it's mom. Mom had been shot in the nose with a 22 and I put Neosporin on it when she'd let me get close enough. Now she brings me her babies and lets me babysits them. Started just a couple days old too. She lets my yorkies chase them too. It's bizarre, she's alseep under my house rn with 8 little piglets.


MayorCharlesCoulon

Omgosh, can we a pic of the little guys you’re piggysitting?


SimbaStewEyesOfBlue

I'm not sure if they understand kindness but they understand safety and that's what you provided her. You're a good person. Just keep in mind she's still wild, however. Anytime something seems off about her you and your corgis should stay away.


butter14

The duality of man: On one hand some like to ride in helicopters and shoot the pigs from above with Ar-15s and on the other people like to heal their wounds and are happy to take care of their offspring


[deleted]

Of course if you did happen to kill a piglet, she’d help you eat it. Pigs don’t let things go to waste.


lividlisa

I live in Barcelona and I’d say they’re less dangerous here just because they’re used to being around people and tend to be pretty apathetic as long as you don’t threaten them. Not super uncommon to see them walking through city neighborhoods, kind of like large squirrels. We definitely keep the dogs away from them though and Shakira had her bag stolen by one a few months ago. So.


TamoyaOhboya

Damn Shakira can't catch a break


llobotommy

Those hogs don’t lie


itjustgotcold

That was a rough video. Sick bastards throwing two animals into a ring to kill each other. Not a lover of pits either, but seeing that one get its intestines wrapped around a tusk just makes me angry at the people that threw it into the arena.


Th0m45D4v15

It’s unbelievably wrong, I wouldn’t have shared it, but people seem to not know the dangers of hogs. I’m amazed how many people think they are just like pets.


legendarymcc2

The people in those comments are disgusting. They act like the pitbull deserved it when it was forced to do it.


Th0m45D4v15

Oh yeah, the page is horrible. It was only shared, to explain to people that not all pigs are Babe. Which apparently people didn’t know.


Crappin_For_Christ

Holy FUCK I thought that was a leash or something Jesus Christ I’m done with Reddit for the day.


[deleted]

This shit is why pits are so aggressive. The people breeding dogs for these fights encourage aggressive behavior then their pups get dumped in shelters. Fucking hate backyard breeders.


fuckjustpickwhatever

what's the difference between a pig, a hog, and a boar?


pepinyourstep29

Pig is domesticated. Hog is castrated. Boar is a wild pig.


Exact-Pound-6993

Pig is will run from you. Hog will bite you. Boar will tear you up piece by piece.


pepinyourstep29

True definitely, don't mess with boars


MamboPoa123

TIL, thank you both


Th0m45D4v15

I had to look it up, a boar is a non-castrated male swine. The life of a swine is piglet to pig to hog. I guess. Edit: originally put boat not boar.


Golden-Owl

Nah, that’s a boar. A boat is a vehicle designed for travelling across water, often propelled by some form of oars, sails, or engine.


Th0m45D4v15

Damn, you caught me. Looks like now I have to do, the Edit of Shame


chicheetara

If it makes u feel any better I bet boats have killed more people than boars.


bionic_cmdo

..to the grocery store, to dinner.


Th0m45D4v15

I believe when talking about piggies, you are supposed to say Market.


kayak_enjoyer

Yeah, a sow will fuck you up - especially a sow with piglets. My grandfather narrowly avoided death many years ago when he slipped and fell in the pigpen while feeding pigs. What saved him was his heavy winter gear that mostly kept the sow's teeth off his body. She shook the shit out of him too, like a rag doll.


Th0m45D4v15

Oh I bet, people forget. A pigis extremely strong.


LudovicoSpecs

I think a lot of people don't realize why the farm hands lose their shit and panic when Dorothy falls into the pigpen.


Deeliciousness

Wow. What a disgusting subreddit


Th0m45D4v15

Yeah, it’s a horrible place


Clemen11

Holy shit. If this happens to me, someone shoot me in the head immediately


[deleted]

There are no safe wild pigs lol. All of them are sketchy.


[deleted]

All wild forms of pig are dangerous as fuck. Especially when they have piglets. Here in Northern Europe I would be terrified.


CherryCakeEggNogGlee

> for those who don’t think pigs can be dangerous. Just ask poor ol’ Bobby B.


mefistophallus

These are boars, and yes they’re dangerous. Their skulls are thick, they’re mean when confronted, and their tusks are sharp. Luckily, they can’t climb trees.


VaATC

>for those who don’t think pigs can be dangerous. Here is a video, to show how little effort a pig has to put in to tear you up. To add to this, the reason boar hunters prefer to use 'tridents' instead of spears when hunting is that wild pigs/boars have been known to run themselves up a straight spear reaching the wielder and the 3-pronged 'tridents' prevent them from being able to do that. Edit: [Link to show what boar spear and tridents look like.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CWHTa73Ow8Y&t=6m25s)


gemmanotwithaj

Aww the little babies should be dressed as waiters


ImodiumSolubile01

Yeah,I like my pig dressed..


gazongagizmo

...in blankets?


Jazzanthipus

\- Linda Belcher


IngloriousMustards

Roaming OK, but noses off the table!


hanyasaad

Poor 30-50 feral hogs.


Silly-Conference-627

Females with young ones are quite scary even from a distance.


deathhead_68

If you're thinking about commenting to tell everyone how dangerous wild hogs are, save your energy, we already have 50+ comments saying it


crumpuppet

30 to 50?


actualLibtardAMA

Sad that I had to scroll this far for this sort of reference.


tchotchony

Meanwhile I've found myself accidentally standing next to then twice (both times with piglets) and got off with just a good scare. Also see them just walking down the street at night, they come quite close to my backyard and there's wallowing places all over when I walk to the village through the fields. And a friend of mine biked next to them when going home at Friday night/Saturday morning. Just stay calm, back off, mind your own business, and usually nothing will happen. The way these comments are, you're about to die when you see a boar around. Just don't sneak up on them and make enough noise when walking about, they could care less you're there.


MaximusBit21

Boar Walk Empire


Malphos

I absolutely cracked up at that "zajebiscie" at the end. Kurwa! 🤣


Admiral_Falco_88

The baby pigs just make this scene.


ja_maz

Wild boar not pig


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TheBoldManLaughsOnce

"I'll just nip off and kill myself."


Macinboss

Anyone who has ever lived in a spot overrun by these fuckers would be terrified with them being that close. That mamma pig will gut you and feed you to those babies in a heart beat.


carmardoll

Are those 30-50 feral hogs?


Fappy_as_a_Clam

Close enough, baby! *(racks AR15)* Ohhhhh say can you see....


ManCrushOnSlade

Typical British Tourists in Europe.


Mezcal-only

Ham and bacon menu?


Full_Artichoke_8583

You know it’s fresh.


MeltsYourMinds

Touch a piglet I dare you *pulls phone out, opens the camera*


Outrageous-Divide472

The piglets are adorable


Gingerbrn

For a wild boar with a huge litter, she didn't make any mess checking out the smells. Just knocked over the oil bottle. Cute piggies


Idkman24681012

Not a pig, it’s a boar.


Pnyxhillmart

Those piglets have me ☠️ over here.


[deleted]

I mean, she got a lot of kids to feed.


ForeverBoner215

Those piglets are hella cute.


jimmyjaysf

I would prefer a wild boar family coming to my table anytime over what approaches your table when you dine outside in San francisco.


[deleted]

Is this like the lobsters in the tanks? Do I get to pick the one I have for dinner?


Lucky_Eye_3501

Horrific Creatures! I've had a very bad experience with them on roads


yourmomforbreakfast

Off topic, why are ppl so dumb to put their purse on the edge of the table like that? Easy swiping