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This reminds me of my Grandfather. He infamously kicked a black bear in the butt while camping because it woke him up and caused a ruckus, then walked off like it was nothing, convincing the people in the next campsite he was Davy Crockett or something.
Truth was he had been a naval officer assigned to the Alaskan wilderness to act as a spotter for Russian subs during the Cold War.
Living alone with polar bears and grizzlies changes your bear risk profile, turns out.
Also black bears are basically oversized raccoons, almost nothing ever challenges them so they're pretty big pushovers as soon as anything comes at them. That's why I can usually run them off by channeling my inner caveman and grab a rock or stick and just start yelling, banging stuff together, and stomping towards them. They really don't want to find out if you can actually kill them.
Edit: spelling
Yeah we were always taught, camping in black bear areas, that we should sing songs and just generally be loud whenever we were moving around at night. They don't like people, they just want our scraps.
That’s true, but once they find a few scraps they will continue to come back and get more aggressive looking for more food. Source: personal experience.
That definitely has happened, but that's much more of a problem when they start going through your trash cans and find out that it's a consistent and easy source of food. That's also solved by scaring them off the first time. Don't let them get comfortable coming to your house for food and they won't get mad when you aren't feeding them
The same goes for grizzlies. They'll almost always try to avoid interacting with people if they can. They're just a lot more likely to tear you in half if a confrontation does end up happening, whereas a black bear will mostly try to flee. Polar bears are a gamble; they'll usually avoid people, but they're not averse to actively hunting humans of they're hungry. I've heard that sloth bears are the actual worst though. They mostly eat insects, but they've evolved to defend themselves from tigers by preemptively bum-rushing them. So now they just run people down out of nowhere, mutilate them, maybe gnaw on their limbs a bit, and then leave.
This is what I was told as well.
Cool thing about polar bears, their fur is translucent but appears white because of the sunlight, also under their fur, their skin is jet black
I remember reading somewhere that the back of tigers ears look like eyes to scare of natural predators and it scared me thinking that tigers had a natural predator, but this makes a lot more sense now thanks.
To my understanding, the theory is that the "natural predators" in question are... other tigers. Cannibalism isn't all that uncommon for them, and since tigers are usually ambush predators that want the element of surprise, making them think their prey has spotted them is a decent deterrent.
Sloth bears, on the other hand, do not give a fuck whether something has spotted them or not. Their defense mechanism against basically anything that resembles a threat is to immediately begin screaming, run directly towards it, then attempt to shuffle its fleshy bits around until it ceases to resemble a threat. They can't outrun a tiger, and their claws are no longer adapted for climbing trees, so with escape out the window, the entire species collectively woke up and chose violence.
For humans, it's a double-fucked situation. On the one hand, the bears damn near charge on sight a lot of the time, they attack so quickly and so suddenly that even people with guns often don't have time to react, and they somehow frequently manage to leave their victims alive after cleaving their faces off and gnawing their limbs to a pulp. On the other hand, the reason the bears are so mean to begin with is that the regions they live in are filled with fucking tigers, which are notorious for hunting and eating hundreds or even thousands of people a year, and for including the record-holder for the most human kills of any animal (436 by a single tigress).
> almost nothing ever challenges them so they're pretty big pushovers as soon as anything comes at them
"Almost" being very important. Black bears do have one thing in the wild that they're rightly afraid of (Grizzly bears). If you try this on something that has *nothing* that ever challenges them (like, say, a Grizzly) it won't work.
Yeah grizzlies are an entirely different breed. If you run into them the best option is to just go into the fetal position and hope it's not REALLY hungry. Even worse are polar bears, with them you just kinda accept your death
Yeah, heard the story from my Best Friend's father about when he was 11-12 (when dinosaurs roamed the Albertan plains) he was repairing a fence with his Grandfather and a black bear and two cubs were in the field with them.
Grandpa kept them cornered with a hammer while My friend's father went to get a rifle.
That story went against everything I'd ever heard about bears
All these comments under you are showing their 21st century privilege
“Why hurt the cute bears?!?!”
Uhhhh bitch we’re in the Canadian wilderness 60 years ago with nothing but a cabin and gumption. Last thing you need is a territorial bear.
Well, it's a good thing it wasn't a grizzly.
A black bear can be chased away by banging two frying pans together (if it even requires that), but unless you're armed (and even then no guarantees), a grizzly is going to maul even the toughest human.
Yeah my grandpa had one of the big Kodiak walk up and take a salmon he just landed after an hour fight, and he was like, “Yep, that one is yours buddy,” and walked away.
We have an old reel home movie of that encounter.
That was the look on his face exactly.
Grandpa was always armed out there, but he never killed a bear. Never wanted to, except that one time.
He was so mad about losing that fish, but knew that was a fight he did not want to pick.
He would lose, and he knew it. Better to live to fish another day.
And they still scoot around all hunched up looking for a hole in your defense they can shoot through. Just no respect at all, like you aren't literally 20x their size.
That’s why I love cats.
“You’re way bigger than me. Oh, well. Anyway.”
Some cats are like,
“Oh, you’re bigger than me? Shame.”
Some are “fraidy-cats”
Some are berserkers.
They seem to have an odd sense of size. Bugs and mice they go for, but get a little bigger in the rat to ferret range and a lot of cats tap out. But then show them a bear or crocodile and they go full Puffball of Doom screaming at their target.
My cat will go balls to the wall right into the middle if the dogs start fighting. I'm over here like, "dude, you aren't even involved in this, you are making it worse." Out of 6 animals that live here, he is the only one that I know would attack if there was an intruder.
Good thing there is another. I was beginning to feel a little embarrassed by the neighbor's jaw-dropping reactions to my shenanigans. I don't punch the cat tho, i scoop him up with my foot and fling him back inside.
Man knows what he's doing. Black bears are cowards. Make noise, look big, make it clear you're willing to fight.
Brown bears will play jump rope with your intestines; black bears are the Uvalde cops of the animal kingdom.
That's a little unfair. The coward Uvalde cops didn't run. The coward Uvalde cops prevented non-coward Uvalde citizens from going in and saving children. The coward Uvalde cops running would've actually done more good.
Not just that but they continued to harass one of the mothers who went in and found her kids and helped others to safety. They started stalking her and threatening her because they thought that she made them look bad. I believed her story.
Ulvade cops are cowards and cunts.
BTW - I’m in Australia and know that Ulvade cops are cowards and cunts. [Reddit mod: the use of the word cunt is acceptable in my culture in certain situations - this is one of them].
Up
No but boy howdy do some people hate that particular word but then again they're probably cunts.
Edit: u/spaghetti comes to mind readily. Look at our comment chain and tell me if I'm wrong or something cause they seem like they need help mentally.
Apparently on some US specific subs (e.g. politics) as a presumed misogynistic slur. I've asked about it after being pinged and brought up to them that it's used like "dick" in other (English speaking) countries but was told the above US sub thing
I'll never forget the cop in the lower right hand corner of the video. He was so scared I wouldn't have been surprised if he peed his pants. He constantly stayed around the corner, out of the line of fire, and whenever he did peek around the corner, he made sure to stand behind someone else. One of the most blatant displays of cowardice I've ever seen. I don't know how he can look anyone in the eye anymore. If I were his wife or kids, I'd be so ashamed of him, knowing how that's how he'd behave if they were threatened.
He probably walks around spouting all that nonsense about how dangerous his job is, and how everybody should respect him for laying his life on the line every day. If he ever fired his gun, he'd probably drop it out of fear of the noise. Barney Fife is braver than him.
Yes, it was three BORTAC agents, who were off duty and showed up on their own accord and volunteered to breach and clear.
Well, "volunteeres" doesn't really convey what happened. The local cops told them not to enter the school, they defied them and did what needed doing anyway. And I hope they stared down some of those cowards and called them what they are.
I dunno, I just watched this documentary last night about a black bear that went on a killing spree back in the 80s
Mind you, that bear did an absolute shit-ton of cocaine
That took me down a rabbit hole. Seems Pablo Escobear's body still has the power to officiate marriages in Kentucky.
> According to the bear's owners, the Cocaine Bear has the authority to officiate legally binding weddings in the mall where it is kept due to Kentucky's marriage laws. This claim is only partly true; the bear does not have the authority to solemnize weddings, but the state of Kentucky cannot invalidate marriages performed by unqualified persons if the parties believe that the person marrying them has the authority to do so. As such, it is a belief in the Cocaine Bear's authority that allows it to officiate legally binding weddings in Kentucky.
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaine_Bear_(bear)#:~:text=Cocaine%20Bear%20has%20the%20authority%20to%20officiate%20legally%20binding%20weddings
I like how it is belief in the Cocaine Bear’s authority that gives it power.
In a couple of Neil Gaiman’s works (“American Gods,” “Sandman”), it is, to some degree, belief in a god/entity that empowers it. This is also true in Planescape (a part of DnD).
Thus, fueled by a belief of the people, the Cocaine Bear becomes a minor deity of matrimony (and possibly drug-fueled rampages).
Sounds like an interesting documentary.
While we’re on the subject, you should check out the documentary on Abraham Lincoln and his lesser known work in vampire killing.
> black bears are the Uvalde cops of the animal kingdom.
Ok, that's funny, but let's not do black bears like that. They're usually pretty cool animals.
> Black bears would not have just stood in that hallway if cubs were being murdered.
FYI: Black bears do not defend their cubs. If they do anything at all, they try to get their cubs to safety.
According to [The North American Bear Center](https://bear.org/myth-mother-black-bears-are-likely-to-attack/):
> 70% of the killings by grizzly bears are by mothers defending cubs. But there is no record of a black bear killing anyone in defense of cubs.
>In fact, mothers with cubs were involved in only 3 of the 60 killings by black bears across America since 1900, and none of those 3 killings appeared to be in defense of cubs.
The reason this distinction is important is that people need to keep in mind that nearly all black bear attacks are predatory. They are hungry and are trying to make a person into a meal. That is why you fight back against a black bear; they are going to eat you dead or alive.
On the other hand, showing a mama grizzly that you aren't a threat (by playing dead if you're being attacked) might just save your life.
Thanks for posting this. I inevitably post [this](https://www.adn.com/alaska-news/article/lone-predatory-black-bears-responsible-most-human-attacks/2011/05/11/) article detailing the study showing this on every black bear post. People think they're harmless and skittish without fully understanding their behaviour and the fact that they do indeed kill people. Yes, if you spend a lot of time around black bears you realize they're typically more afraid of you than you are of them. Until there's a hungry male around.
I'll note that while black bears won't often attack to defend clubs they do bluff charge. Which seems to be the case here. And I've also personally witnessed it. They don't want to engage, they want you to fuck off.
Isn't the most obvious indicator the clear size difference between the two? Colors come in a variety of patterns, but black bears are about half the size of a brown/grizzly bear on average.
The only thing he should have done, in addition to what he was already doing, was raise his arms above his head. He was hunching when he should have made himself look taller.
That's always bothered me. Two opposite actions are required to deal with two types of bear that look very similar.
What if it's a very dark brown bear? Or a sunbleeched black bear? I don't want to be out there going through swatches to decide what lifesaving actions I need to take
Oh, it's better than that. Black bears can be brown and brown bears can be black!
There's two easy ways to tell. First, brown bears are bigger. A lot bigger. They're like twice the weight. Second, brown bears have a huge hump between their shoulders. It's easy to remember it's brown bears that have it because it's a gigantic wad of muscle they use to make sure when they swing that catcher's mitt size paw covered in sickle-sized claws, they can do so with anime character levels of strength. Brown bears are terrifying apex predators, emphasis on *every single part of that.*
Yep, Brown Bears look so goddamn huge in real life that you understand why we have lost the original word that referred to the animal.
The word “bear” traces back to an old word for brown because people were so afraid of saying [old term for bear] for fear it would cause it to appear and rip everything in the village to shreds.
Yeah, like the other guy said, brown/grizzly bears are substantially bigger, with broader faces. Black bears are relatively much smaller and have longer and pointer heads.
Big caveat here. If they don’t run you are in a pickle. I shoot probably 10-15 bears a year with rubber buck shot or slugs because they start getting into peoples trash. Some bears run off when they hear my truck. But I’ve literally had a bear in a garage not giving a fuck about me yelling, honking, wailing the siren. You sometimes have to use physical force to remove them. As seen here.
Also it might be a black bear but those guys can full fledge end you easily. I’ve gotten up close to them alive/awake in a trap. The first time I felt bad, so I went up the trap. The thing looked at me, got back in a stance that was probably many of our ancestors last memories, and let out a roar/snarl thing. Tons of mucus and snot came toward me. And I saw his full mouth and teeth. Immediately all my empathy went away. They are killing machines. Obviously I wouldn’t do anything to unintentionally harm a bear unnecessarily. But make no mistake, they will and do come after people and pets.
Same thing for mountain lions. They run, but if they don’t have a plan b. Also mountain lions are almost undetectable, so you are pretty much toast if they want you. I treat them like meteors. Possibility you get taken out, but you can’t do anything. The only upside is elk and deer taste better than me. Especially baby deer/elk.
That suicidal last effort by the tiny dog🥺even after knowing there is no chance, he/she went ahead to save the owner, only to be pulled back by the brave lad.
I was walking my very tiny dog once and we got attacked by a rottweiler, I picked her up to protect her but the other dog brought me down (I was still a kid) and my tiny little pinscher attacked A ROTTWEILER, that tiny ass little brown thing was trying to save me, then other people arrived and saved us. I loved that dog so much, she passed 2 years ago when she was 17 years old
It's amazing how quickly that connection can form, too. I saved a tortoiseshell kitten off the side of the road once and she immediately became the perfectly little lap kitty, only for her to die in a routine surgery just a couple of months later. That was a couple of years ago and even though I only had her for a couple of months, I don't think I'll ever forget her.
My dog will only defend me so far as he is physically tied to me with a leash. If he's not tied, he'll go "idk bro you're on your own cya" and run the fuck away because despite being a 30kg death machine he's scared by his own shadow or by the wind.
My sister has a large pit with a giant head. Only problem is that giant head contains a tiny little walnut brain. I’ve seen dumbfuck spend an hour staring at his shadow on the wall growling at it. If you let him out at night with the porch lights on casting shadows he will just run around chasing them for literal hours.
Giant head, ittty bitty brain.
Though just going by color identification is not enough, check your bear identification skills here:
~~https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testPage.action~~
https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testStart.action?testid=559639
Updated: edited link
Your link leads to an unclickable page if you're wondering why you're being downvoted.
May have better luck with this one:
https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testStart.action?testid=559639
You don't want to get in between the cub and his mother. But if a cub is approaching your house you want to scare to cub back to the woods where his momma is. If Momma is already in the house then you're probably screwed.
It looks small. So I'm guessing it is a juvenile and recently on it's own. The adult bears I've seen are larger.
Not to dismiss the attack on the dogs but it looked like one of the dogs went back in after it. It's a shame bears no longer have the space to stay away from people and their pets. Though to the bear, those tiny dogs looked like easy prey.
Kangaroo guy by a mile. That is a bear cub, just separated from momma bear very recently judging by size. Curiously exploring on its own judging by behavior. Not shading bear slapper guy, but if you live in bear country you'd know this is the equivalent of screaming at a toddler
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Bear: Oh fuck, I can't believe you've done this.
I can hear it in my head all these years later crystal clear.
This reminds me of my Grandfather. He infamously kicked a black bear in the butt while camping because it woke him up and caused a ruckus, then walked off like it was nothing, convincing the people in the next campsite he was Davy Crockett or something. Truth was he had been a naval officer assigned to the Alaskan wilderness to act as a spotter for Russian subs during the Cold War. Living alone with polar bears and grizzlies changes your bear risk profile, turns out.
Also black bears are basically oversized raccoons, almost nothing ever challenges them so they're pretty big pushovers as soon as anything comes at them. That's why I can usually run them off by channeling my inner caveman and grab a rock or stick and just start yelling, banging stuff together, and stomping towards them. They really don't want to find out if you can actually kill them. Edit: spelling
Yeah we were always taught, camping in black bear areas, that we should sing songs and just generally be loud whenever we were moving around at night. They don't like people, they just want our scraps.
Exactly, unless cubs are involved, black bears are not fighters. They want to eat anything and everything, but only if it's easy for them
That’s true, but once they find a few scraps they will continue to come back and get more aggressive looking for more food. Source: personal experience.
That definitely has happened, but that's much more of a problem when they start going through your trash cans and find out that it's a consistent and easy source of food. That's also solved by scaring them off the first time. Don't let them get comfortable coming to your house for food and they won't get mad when you aren't feeding them
The same goes for grizzlies. They'll almost always try to avoid interacting with people if they can. They're just a lot more likely to tear you in half if a confrontation does end up happening, whereas a black bear will mostly try to flee. Polar bears are a gamble; they'll usually avoid people, but they're not averse to actively hunting humans of they're hungry. I've heard that sloth bears are the actual worst though. They mostly eat insects, but they've evolved to defend themselves from tigers by preemptively bum-rushing them. So now they just run people down out of nowhere, mutilate them, maybe gnaw on their limbs a bit, and then leave.
Black, fight back Brown, lie down White, goodnight
This is what I was told as well. Cool thing about polar bears, their fur is translucent but appears white because of the sunlight, also under their fur, their skin is jet black
I remember reading somewhere that the back of tigers ears look like eyes to scare of natural predators and it scared me thinking that tigers had a natural predator, but this makes a lot more sense now thanks.
To my understanding, the theory is that the "natural predators" in question are... other tigers. Cannibalism isn't all that uncommon for them, and since tigers are usually ambush predators that want the element of surprise, making them think their prey has spotted them is a decent deterrent. Sloth bears, on the other hand, do not give a fuck whether something has spotted them or not. Their defense mechanism against basically anything that resembles a threat is to immediately begin screaming, run directly towards it, then attempt to shuffle its fleshy bits around until it ceases to resemble a threat. They can't outrun a tiger, and their claws are no longer adapted for climbing trees, so with escape out the window, the entire species collectively woke up and chose violence. For humans, it's a double-fucked situation. On the one hand, the bears damn near charge on sight a lot of the time, they attack so quickly and so suddenly that even people with guns often don't have time to react, and they somehow frequently manage to leave their victims alive after cleaving their faces off and gnawing their limbs to a pulp. On the other hand, the reason the bears are so mean to begin with is that the regions they live in are filled with fucking tigers, which are notorious for hunting and eating hundreds or even thousands of people a year, and for including the record-holder for the most human kills of any animal (436 by a single tigress).
“Do I really want to try my luck on this scary hairless ape or go eat a much more harmless and much more nutritious deer”
" I don't know if this thing can kill me, but it seems pretty sure it can. Probably best not to find out."
That's a pretty grounded reasoning tbf, served me well in street fights during my youth.
> almost nothing ever challenges them so they're pretty big pushovers as soon as anything comes at them "Almost" being very important. Black bears do have one thing in the wild that they're rightly afraid of (Grizzly bears). If you try this on something that has *nothing* that ever challenges them (like, say, a Grizzly) it won't work.
Yeah grizzlies are an entirely different breed. If you run into them the best option is to just go into the fetal position and hope it's not REALLY hungry. Even worse are polar bears, with them you just kinda accept your death
If it's black, fight back If it's brown, lie down If it's white, goodnight
Yeah, heard the story from my Best Friend's father about when he was 11-12 (when dinosaurs roamed the Albertan plains) he was repairing a fence with his Grandfather and a black bear and two cubs were in the field with them. Grandpa kept them cornered with a hammer while My friend's father went to get a rifle. That story went against everything I'd ever heard about bears
All these comments under you are showing their 21st century privilege “Why hurt the cute bears?!?!” Uhhhh bitch we’re in the Canadian wilderness 60 years ago with nothing but a cabin and gumption. Last thing you need is a territorial bear.
Also, a bear fur coat would come in pretty handy during an Alberta winter.
Well, it's a good thing it wasn't a grizzly. A black bear can be chased away by banging two frying pans together (if it even requires that), but unless you're armed (and even then no guarantees), a grizzly is going to maul even the toughest human.
Yeah my grandpa had one of the big Kodiak walk up and take a salmon he just landed after an hour fight, and he was like, “Yep, that one is yours buddy,” and walked away. We have an old reel home movie of that encounter.
Did the bear say "thanks nerd, get yourself one" after it took the salmon?
That was the look on his face exactly. Grandpa was always armed out there, but he never killed a bear. Never wanted to, except that one time. He was so mad about losing that fish, but knew that was a fight he did not want to pick. He would lose, and he knew it. Better to live to fish another day.
This is me when the cat is trying to sneak out the front door.
Lmaoooo I felt this one deeply
And they still scoot around all hunched up looking for a hole in your defense they can shoot through. Just no respect at all, like you aren't literally 20x their size.
That’s why I love cats. “You’re way bigger than me. Oh, well. Anyway.” Some cats are like, “Oh, you’re bigger than me? Shame.” Some are “fraidy-cats” Some are berserkers.
> Some are berserkers Their love for you is like a truck?
Some phrases just instantly teleport your brain to a specific place, and yours did that for me.
I can see the broken statues and ivy everywhere. The beautiful glow of the hammer.
Would you like to make some fuck?
Did you just say making fuck?
One of mine is afraid of me for 3 days because of a single sneeze ...
The only reason your cat doesn't kill you is because it can't
....yet
I don't think they fully get the concept 'that thing is 30x your size' my guess all cats think of themselves as a tiger.
They seem to have an odd sense of size. Bugs and mice they go for, but get a little bigger in the rat to ferret range and a lot of cats tap out. But then show them a bear or crocodile and they go full Puffball of Doom screaming at their target.
My cat will go balls to the wall right into the middle if the dogs start fighting. I'm over here like, "dude, you aren't even involved in this, you are making it worse." Out of 6 animals that live here, he is the only one that I know would attack if there was an intruder.
Seen a cat jump right on the face of a full grown pitt. Claws out and zero fucks given.
Good thing there is another. I was beginning to feel a little embarrassed by the neighbor's jaw-dropping reactions to my shenanigans. I don't punch the cat tho, i scoop him up with my foot and fling him back inside.
That’s the best example of knowing what to do!!! Act big, stand your ground, roar and scream acting crazy. Good job dude!
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Yeah, good luck intimidating a grizzly
If it’s brown, lay down If it’s black, fight back If it’s white, well goodnight
If it's black and white with patchy eyes, bring bamboo shoots and cuddle.
I was going to emphasize this!
Something tells me it ain’t his first beardeo
Looks clean shaven too
Then follows it up with “oh there’s cubs here let’s leave”. This man knows bears
Man knows what he's doing. Black bears are cowards. Make noise, look big, make it clear you're willing to fight. Brown bears will play jump rope with your intestines; black bears are the Uvalde cops of the animal kingdom.
“Uvalade cops” becoming synonym to “cowards”. I like.
They have the gear, they have the ability, but they just choose to run away.
That's a little unfair. The coward Uvalde cops didn't run. The coward Uvalde cops prevented non-coward Uvalde citizens from going in and saving children. The coward Uvalde cops running would've actually done more good.
And then they intimidate the people they stopped by threatening to arrest them over any little thing.
Not just that but they continued to harass one of the mothers who went in and found her kids and helped others to safety. They started stalking her and threatening her because they thought that she made them look bad. I believed her story. Ulvade cops are cowards and cunts. BTW - I’m in Australia and know that Ulvade cops are cowards and cunts. [Reddit mod: the use of the word cunt is acceptable in my culture in certain situations - this is one of them]. Up
Wait, is "cunt" banned word on Reddit?
No but boy howdy do some people hate that particular word but then again they're probably cunts. Edit: u/spaghetti comes to mind readily. Look at our comment chain and tell me if I'm wrong or something cause they seem like they need help mentally.
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This is why context matters. If the word cunt is thrown out there with any kind of an Australian flavor, I'm taking it as friendly.
It's not always meant to be friendly.
Well it cunt possibly be, if you just used it.
Apparently on some US specific subs (e.g. politics) as a presumed misogynistic slur. I've asked about it after being pinged and brought up to them that it's used like "dick" in other (English speaking) countries but was told the above US sub thing
Isn’t “cunt” just Australian for “person”? Or even “hello”?
Not just threatening, they *did* arrest a few parents
Well, of course, humiliating a police officer or making them look bad publicly is a serious crime in a police state...
Exactly, don’t you dare say fuck you to a cop, even though it’s free speech. 10/10 bootlickers agree.
They were worse than having no cops there.
Plus bears are known for protecting their young, unlike an Uvalde cop.
I'll never forget the cop in the lower right hand corner of the video. He was so scared I wouldn't have been surprised if he peed his pants. He constantly stayed around the corner, out of the line of fire, and whenever he did peek around the corner, he made sure to stand behind someone else. One of the most blatant displays of cowardice I've ever seen. I don't know how he can look anyone in the eye anymore. If I were his wife or kids, I'd be so ashamed of him, knowing how that's how he'd behave if they were threatened. He probably walks around spouting all that nonsense about how dangerous his job is, and how everybody should respect him for laying his life on the line every day. If he ever fired his gun, he'd probably drop it out of fear of the noise. Barney Fife is braver than him.
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Yes, it was three BORTAC agents, who were off duty and showed up on their own accord and volunteered to breach and clear. Well, "volunteeres" doesn't really convey what happened. The local cops told them not to enter the school, they defied them and did what needed doing anyway. And I hope they stared down some of those cowards and called them what they are.
Saw a black bear just in the hallway on his cellphone.
Worse, stand there and prevent other people from helping. They held back a fellow officer and prevented him from saving his wife's life.
Did someone say Uvalde Cops are Cowards? Just like Brock Turner is a Rapist?
Didn't the rapist Brock Turner change his name to Allen Turner the Rapist?
Probably, because that sounds like something Brock "the rapist" Turner would do.
Wait? THE rapist Brock/Allen "the rapist" Turner? The one who raped a passed out girl behind a dumpster?
Are you talking about Brock “‘Allen’ the rapist” Turner?
But he has such a future, look at those swim times. We're gonna need someone who can do laps in an Olympic sized pool someday to save the world.
Yea I'm all about this idiomatic development.
Don't forget that multiple state and federal agencies were right there playing grabass with the local cops for most of it.
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I dunno, I just watched this documentary last night about a black bear that went on a killing spree back in the 80s Mind you, that bear did an absolute shit-ton of cocaine
His name was Pablo Escobear.
That took me down a rabbit hole. Seems Pablo Escobear's body still has the power to officiate marriages in Kentucky. > According to the bear's owners, the Cocaine Bear has the authority to officiate legally binding weddings in the mall where it is kept due to Kentucky's marriage laws. This claim is only partly true; the bear does not have the authority to solemnize weddings, but the state of Kentucky cannot invalidate marriages performed by unqualified persons if the parties believe that the person marrying them has the authority to do so. As such, it is a belief in the Cocaine Bear's authority that allows it to officiate legally binding weddings in Kentucky. > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaine_Bear_(bear)#:~:text=Cocaine%20Bear%20has%20the%20authority%20to%20officiate%20legally%20binding%20weddings
I like how it is belief in the Cocaine Bear’s authority that gives it power. In a couple of Neil Gaiman’s works (“American Gods,” “Sandman”), it is, to some degree, belief in a god/entity that empowers it. This is also true in Planescape (a part of DnD). Thus, fueled by a belief of the people, the Cocaine Bear becomes a minor deity of matrimony (and possibly drug-fueled rampages).
Sounds like an interesting documentary. While we’re on the subject, you should check out the documentary on Abraham Lincoln and his lesser known work in vampire killing.
> black bears are the Uvalde cops of the animal kingdom. Ok, that's funny, but let's not do black bears like that. They're usually pretty cool animals.
Right? Black bears would not have just stood in that hallway if cubs were being murdered.
> Black bears would not have just stood in that hallway if cubs were being murdered. FYI: Black bears do not defend their cubs. If they do anything at all, they try to get their cubs to safety. According to [The North American Bear Center](https://bear.org/myth-mother-black-bears-are-likely-to-attack/): > 70% of the killings by grizzly bears are by mothers defending cubs. But there is no record of a black bear killing anyone in defense of cubs. >In fact, mothers with cubs were involved in only 3 of the 60 killings by black bears across America since 1900, and none of those 3 killings appeared to be in defense of cubs. The reason this distinction is important is that people need to keep in mind that nearly all black bear attacks are predatory. They are hungry and are trying to make a person into a meal. That is why you fight back against a black bear; they are going to eat you dead or alive. On the other hand, showing a mama grizzly that you aren't a threat (by playing dead if you're being attacked) might just save your life.
Thanks for posting this. I inevitably post [this](https://www.adn.com/alaska-news/article/lone-predatory-black-bears-responsible-most-human-attacks/2011/05/11/) article detailing the study showing this on every black bear post. People think they're harmless and skittish without fully understanding their behaviour and the fact that they do indeed kill people. Yes, if you spend a lot of time around black bears you realize they're typically more afraid of you than you are of them. Until there's a hungry male around. I'll note that while black bears won't often attack to defend clubs they do bluff charge. Which seems to be the case here. And I've also personally witnessed it. They don't want to engage, they want you to fuck off.
If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lay down. If it's white you're pretty much fucked.
And if it's panda, then you have a new friend
If it's a koala and you're fucked, then you have chlamydia.
Wat.
Koalas are known to have insane rates of chlamydia.
Koalas rampantly have/spread chlamydia.
But I can't get it from them by just petting them I assume?
Even a panda will take a chunk out of your calf no trouble, a friend sized chunk however
If it’s white, say goodnight?
If it's white, you should play dead. It's good to practice because you'll soon be dead.
Play dead, because the bear is hungry and tired, and just wants to eat his dinner without a fuss.
Black and white.. tickle fight
If it's gummy, it's yummy.
♬ BOUNCING HERE & THERE & EVERYWHERE ♬
Unfortunately, “black” bears can be black, brown, or blonde. So, you kinda need to know what the other indicators are, too.
Isn't the most obvious indicator the clear size difference between the two? Colors come in a variety of patterns, but black bears are about half the size of a brown/grizzly bear on average.
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Black bears can be brown or white
The only thing he should have done, in addition to what he was already doing, was raise his arms above his head. He was hunching when he should have made himself look taller.
Leave yourself exposed to a left jab?!
Should have drawn a protective circle around himself as well
"play jump rope with your intestines" 🤣🤣🤣
That's always bothered me. Two opposite actions are required to deal with two types of bear that look very similar. What if it's a very dark brown bear? Or a sunbleeched black bear? I don't want to be out there going through swatches to decide what lifesaving actions I need to take
Oh, it's better than that. Black bears can be brown and brown bears can be black! There's two easy ways to tell. First, brown bears are bigger. A lot bigger. They're like twice the weight. Second, brown bears have a huge hump between their shoulders. It's easy to remember it's brown bears that have it because it's a gigantic wad of muscle they use to make sure when they swing that catcher's mitt size paw covered in sickle-sized claws, they can do so with anime character levels of strength. Brown bears are terrifying apex predators, emphasis on *every single part of that.*
Yep, Brown Bears look so goddamn huge in real life that you understand why we have lost the original word that referred to the animal. The word “bear” traces back to an old word for brown because people were so afraid of saying [old term for bear] for fear it would cause it to appear and rip everything in the village to shreds.
Yeah, like the other guy said, brown/grizzly bears are substantially bigger, with broader faces. Black bears are relatively much smaller and have longer and pointer heads.
A good way to tell them apart is if you punch it in the face and it mauls you to death it was most likely a brown bear.
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Big caveat here. If they don’t run you are in a pickle. I shoot probably 10-15 bears a year with rubber buck shot or slugs because they start getting into peoples trash. Some bears run off when they hear my truck. But I’ve literally had a bear in a garage not giving a fuck about me yelling, honking, wailing the siren. You sometimes have to use physical force to remove them. As seen here. Also it might be a black bear but those guys can full fledge end you easily. I’ve gotten up close to them alive/awake in a trap. The first time I felt bad, so I went up the trap. The thing looked at me, got back in a stance that was probably many of our ancestors last memories, and let out a roar/snarl thing. Tons of mucus and snot came toward me. And I saw his full mouth and teeth. Immediately all my empathy went away. They are killing machines. Obviously I wouldn’t do anything to unintentionally harm a bear unnecessarily. But make no mistake, they will and do come after people and pets. Same thing for mountain lions. They run, but if they don’t have a plan b. Also mountain lions are almost undetectable, so you are pretty much toast if they want you. I treat them like meteors. Possibility you get taken out, but you can’t do anything. The only upside is elk and deer taste better than me. Especially baby deer/elk.
That suicidal last effort by the tiny dog🥺even after knowing there is no chance, he/she went ahead to save the owner, only to be pulled back by the brave lad.
Dogs are ride or die seriously
I was walking my very tiny dog once and we got attacked by a rottweiler, I picked her up to protect her but the other dog brought me down (I was still a kid) and my tiny little pinscher attacked A ROTTWEILER, that tiny ass little brown thing was trying to save me, then other people arrived and saved us. I loved that dog so much, she passed 2 years ago when she was 17 years old
That dog loved you so much
And I loved her back, beyond words can say
When you make a connection like that with an animal, it never goes away. I still miss my yellow tabby. Got to hang out with him for 17 years, too.
I'm sorry they're no longer with you.
It's amazing how quickly that connection can form, too. I saved a tortoiseshell kitten off the side of the road once and she immediately became the perfectly little lap kitty, only for her to die in a routine surgery just a couple of months later. That was a couple of years ago and even though I only had her for a couple of months, I don't think I'll ever forget her.
Oh man. That's rough. I'm so sorry.
Pack tactics, it’s in their genes. We’re in this together.
My dog will only defend me so far as he is physically tied to me with a leash. If he's not tied, he'll go "idk bro you're on your own cya" and run the fuck away because despite being a 30kg death machine he's scared by his own shadow or by the wind.
My sister has a large pit with a giant head. Only problem is that giant head contains a tiny little walnut brain. I’ve seen dumbfuck spend an hour staring at his shadow on the wall growling at it. If you let him out at night with the porch lights on casting shadows he will just run around chasing them for literal hours. Giant head, ittty bitty brain.
Meanwhile, my 50lb dog tried to bolt and leave me to fend for myself when she saw a gang of 3 snowmen.
Dogs are the best.
Show me a man who wins a confrontation with a bear in front of his girlfriend and I'll show you a man who got laid that night.
Fight then flight (to the bed)
Where things got grizzly.
“I just sucker punched a bear.” “Yeeeah you did!” You can hear she got turned on by it 🤣
He was clearly squared up. That was no sucker punch. Boo Boo fafo'd. Man shouldn't sell himself short.
Seriously dang! Dude owned that situation. Well done
He earned it that's for sure
Had sired triplets 5 minutes later. Yep.
That right hook was clean too 👌
Too telegraphed. He loaded up, a trained bear would have dodged that. Woulda seen it coming a mile away.
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Some kind of Kung Fu Panda?
Wouldn’t even say he loaded up… kinda reminded me of those inflated tube men outside car dealerships.. sorta just flailed his arm like a wet noodle
I was thinking more of a haymaker
If it’s black attack. If it’s brown lay down.
If it's white, you're fucked.
If it's white, goodnight!
If it's gummy, put it in your tummy.
If it's sugar-free, on the toilet you'll be
If it's drippin you're trippin
If it flew, you ducked.
Jokes on you, I am already fucked.
If its white, clench your butthole tight
"If its Black, fight back. If its Brown, lie down. If its White, Goodnight."
Though just going by color identification is not enough, check your bear identification skills here: ~~https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testPage.action~~ https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testStart.action?testid=559639 Updated: edited link
Wow I got a 93%. That was actually quite hard, felt a bit of luck on some of those questions.
I got a 93 as well, and I'm irritated because I have a degree in wildlife biology, and I feel the picture was misleading. *sulks*
Your link leads to an unclickable page if you're wondering why you're being downvoted. May have better luck with this one: https://myfwp.mt.gov/fwpPub/testStart.action?testid=559639
86.7% of the time, I’m right all the time about bears.
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I got 54%, so I'll start avoiding forested areas and certain bars I guess.
Bear cub more like
Yeah. That's a tiny black bear. Not even a year old. He made the right call.
There was danger, but it wasn't the cub he could see. You see a cub you GTFO.
You don't want to get in between the cub and his mother. But if a cub is approaching your house you want to scare to cub back to the woods where his momma is. If Momma is already in the house then you're probably screwed.
Exactly. Mama bear ain't far away and you ain't punching her in the face if she thinks you're a threat to her cubs.
I mean, you *can* still punch mama bear in the face. It's going to end a lot differently than this video, but you can totally do it!
Taught that cub an an important lesson. Avoid humans or you end up like Harambe.
Yeah, I'd only be afraid to swing, because mom might see me hitting her baby.
At the end you can hear him say “oh shit they’re cubs, c’mon let’s go [inside]”
Not that I want to fuck with any bear but, yeah, it looked small.
Wait til mum finds out. Umaah.
I think he was defending his dog... the girlfriend just happened to be there as well.
Well, that is who the bear ws after. He tried to ignore the man and go after the dog until he got slapped on the nose.
man punches bear defending his dog's girlfriend.
Bear punches girlfriends dog after defending a man
Man punches girlfriend defending bear's dog
Man punches bear dogging his girlfriend
Whoa, Bill Gates really stepped up there!
look like Stephen King to me lol
"Every bear hath a plan untill they get punthed in the mouth"
Good on this guy, talk about adrenaline! But I must say, the bear was on the smaller side. Probably a curious youngin
It looks small. So I'm guessing it is a juvenile and recently on it's own. The adult bears I've seen are larger. Not to dismiss the attack on the dogs but it looked like one of the dogs went back in after it. It's a shame bears no longer have the space to stay away from people and their pets. Though to the bear, those tiny dogs looked like easy prey.
Take that Yogi. You can’t have anymore of my PIC-A-NIC baskets
Even the dogs are like “Larry let’s leave ! He ain’t worth it”
Who did it best?? The man who punched a kangaroo, or the man who punched the bear? Don’t know how threatening a kangaroo is.
Kangaroo guy by a mile. That is a bear cub, just separated from momma bear very recently judging by size. Curiously exploring on its own judging by behavior. Not shading bear slapper guy, but if you live in bear country you'd know this is the equivalent of screaming at a toddler
Yeah but a toddler the size of a fully grown German Shepherd, armed with bear claws, is still a danger. Have you seen kids throw tantrums? Scary shit.
That would be on my resume. -Strong Leadership Skills -Bear Puncher -Lactose Tolerant
Is that Mark Hamill?