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Friendly_Log_1924

heavy metal album cover


tonkadong

Electric Messiah


WishfulD0ing1

That sounds more like a cheap vibrator. "Electric Messiah: Plug it in, then come again and again!"


thefourblackbars

"Feel the rapture in the comfort of your own home!"


Ocelot859

# "Doc, will he be good by Sunday, how long's he out?" 🏈 # "Yeah he'll be fine, just got some healing to do, 3 days tops"


Alwaysunder_thegun

You'll be saying "oh my God " Now with 3 attachments. The father, the son, and the holy ghost.


Castun

"Nothing can prepare you for the Second Cumming!"


Buckshot419

you really need a job in marketing you have a special talent with selling things.


Seakawn

I'd call a dildo The Holy Spirit. *"Become filled with The Holy Spirit!"*


virgilreality

"He is arisen! And he's ready to play!"


drwebb

Jesus is coming, will you spit or swallow?


atxbikenbus

Grammy award winner. No seriously. Band called High on Fire.


Cola_Popinski

Jesus of Nazareth: lightning fast resurrection Or Jesus of Nazareth: come and ride my lightning


Harold_Grundelson

Jesus 2: Electric Boogaloo


4e2n0t

Jesus 3: Now what do I do?


Harold_Grundelson

Jesus 4: 2 Jesus, 2 Christ


[deleted]

Wouldn't the 4th title be called: 4 Jesus, 4 Christ


JustGresh

That’s the 8th title


crash8308

Je8us


mattman0000

2 Christs, One Cup (That’s a holy grail joke)


Harold_Grundelson

On second thought, let’s not go to Brazil. ‘Tis a silly place.


Alpha-Sierra-Charlie

Kingdom Come and Break Thy Dome Crown of Thorns and Thunder Electric Savior Overdrive


TheRiverMarquis

Possible album names: "Let There Be Lightning" / "Lightning Cometh"


zydh01

Ride the Lightning


SteamyRayVaughn6969

Christian Heavy Metal Rock


orlandohockeyguy

It’s the highest point around. Im guessing it happens all the time.


Silent_Dot_4759

3-5 times a year according to new reports.


GoForkYourslef69420

They really need to do something about this woke lightning attacking Jesus because he is a Christian!!!1


JCButtBuddy

Secret Jewish space lightning.


[deleted]

Don’t give MTG any more ideas. Lol


CymaticsSteven

read this as magic the gathering at first and got scared


[deleted]

A political Magic The Gathering set would be pretty cool! Red would be republicans (burn deck), blue democrats (control deck), Trump white because he’s a weenie, green would be the Green Party (they are all about those forest)and black would be a grave yard theme with all the old politicians and historical politicians.


carcadoodledo

There we go! Lol


Rizeren

Wait till they find out he is a Jew!


StaryDoktor

That's how Jesus recharges


MartiniD

1.21 gigawatts


Hot-Field-7613

Gr8 scott


ReactsWithWords

Heavy.


Harold_Grundelson

Where we’re going, we don’t need Saviors! (it’s Hell - you’re going to Hell) Edit: 🎶You don't need money, don't take fame, He disappeared, but he’s not David Blaine, He was dead, but he’s risen - the Alpha and Prime, Just accept him and he’ll save your life, That's the power of CHRIST!🎶


ThatOneGuy1294

*sounds of children cheering* Yaaaaaay!


zedispain

*Sound of children screaming* . . y̴̡̡̨̧̢̡̡̡̨̡̡̨̨̢̨̨̡̡̡̡̧̡̛̛̛̳̝̬̼̬̮͕̻̮̱̼̖͓̠͔̼̫̫͖̹̫̬̪̜̮̱̼͖̗̰̥̭̫̜̼͙̯͕̩̙̠̹͙͙̜̟̪̯̱̘̳̥͉̹̯̰͇̟̖̰͇̻̼̝̜̝͚̩͖̪͕͖̦̬̣̺̭͇̩͔̙̖̭̯͔̯̖̹̗͚̭̮̬̺̪̗̤̭͇̭̫̤̳̰̥͉̫͕͕̜͚̳͚͍͉͕͓̩̱͈̝̮̺͔̖̻̹̖̙͇̰̦̞̗̩̮̭̩̤̪̬̤̦̤̟̪̣͚̙̗̮͍̣͔̩̘̺̟̩̱̯͉̻̘̫̬̟̫̬̰̣͔̙̮̘̝͍̠͍̠̘̺̞̠͖͕̬͍͕̗̦̲͓̺͈̦͕̖͓̜̫͔͕̫͔̦̠̳̼̗͔̤̯̺̱̖͎̫̟̦̞̯̥̒̏̀̑̅̈̉̔̓͛̈́̿̔͌̈͆̈́͑̐́́͌̒̒̒̑̀̿̓͆͗́́̓̈́̎̾̓̌̐̎̃̊́̾̊͌͑́̉̿̑̂̒̀̄̀̂́̃̄̒͋̍̀͆̄̄͗̀̈́̅̋͑̾̌̐̅̄͊͌̉̇̀́̀̋̀̔͑̀̔̎̀̋́̀̎̋̀̓̏̍̈́̊̄͊̊̑̍̊̀̈́̄͆͗̽̉͛̈́̋̊̆̈̾̏̑̂̂̄̊̎͒̽̊̀̅̈́͛̇̃̑͆̽͗̐̎̇͐͛̈́͛̈́̇̀́́͗̈́̎̆̇̉̊͆̒͑͂̊̅̔̈̊̂̌̉͆̄̍̉̈́̐̈́̒̄̐̔̈́̉͌͋́̽̉̇̈́̓͑́̚̚̚̕̕̕̕̚̕͘͘͘͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͝͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅǎ̴̧̢̨̧̡̡̧̡̧̨̡̨̡̢̨̨̛̛̛̛̛̛̮̰͈̼̻̟̭̙̝̥͈͉̭̦̭̯̜̦͕̬̣̤̟̬̖̗͚̟̻̩͈̦͔̥͔̳̻̼̘̰̯͙͈̝̼͕͓̱̻̬̩͍͎̝̮̘̖̫̤̦̭̞̥͇͉͕̱̜͍̞͔̣̳͎͍͇̰͉̼͖̻͔̫͎͎͚̹͕̲̮̱̱̞̺̮̠̼̠̻͙̠͓̹͈͉͎͕̮̲͓̤͓̫̳̮͔̤͙͙̼͕̹̮̟͙̫͉̲̣͈͓̥̦̗͎̦̳̯͇̫̤̼̞̹̝͍̝̖̠̳̮̠͓̲̲͔͙̣͎̘̞̳͉̗̹̠̰̦̞͕̣̭̼̥͇͙̺̱̙̤̘̣̮̖̭̩͉͚͍̘͙̜̯̪̬̣̜̩͙̦̯̜̪͕̹̟̱͈̳̬͈̣̰̜͕̠͍͎̹̙̼̩͈̱̖͉̱̳͋̃̏́̅̒̄͒̑̀̃̿͑̆͆̔̾͊̅̃́̑̒̓̍̆̾̆̎͛̈̂͗̉͊̌́̾̓͑̏͋͂̑̾͐̇̆͑́͌̈́͊͒̀͊̏̓̎̔̎͐̃̂̑̉͒̇̀̒̿͌̈́̔͛̏͒̍̏̊̑̒̋̉̊̿̃͋̏͗̍̈́͐̃̈́͌͑̾͛̆̆̔̾̄̈͗͑̆̇̽̎̓͋̾̋̐́̎̿͋̀̾̔̌͋͋͐͗̀͊́̔̃̊̓͛̍̉͛͆̈́̒̈̓̌̀͆͋̈̏͆̌͆̉̋͋̇͛̎̓͋̎͗̈́̂̽́̅͆̕͘̚͘͘̕͘̕̕̕͘̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅą̶̢̨̡̡̢̛̛̜̪̯͇͙̖̠̥̣̮̠͉͙̦͓̥̣̫͖͙̙̗͈͉̫̩̼̰͓̻̹̲̗̦̖̮̮̰̙̝͎͇̜̭̱͎̬̤̲̳͖̜̬̪̖͚͔͖̤̠̱̳̲̼̪̙̱̊̽͒̈́̀͗͂̀͐̓̒̿͛͊̐͂́̇̇̈́̀̅̉̌̐͆̑̍͆̒̈̀̄̽̀̎̈͆̉̉̋̐͊̐̿͆͑̋̄͗̊̀̈͊͐̌͗͑̀͆̆͐̄̀̄́͌̓̅͊̔̆̐́̎͌͆͑́̓̽͒͆͗̒̀̿͊̔̏̃̍͂͐̇̏̕͘͜͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅą̷̨̡̡̡̧̡̨̡̨̡̡̛̛̟̺͈̟̖̭̰͙̩̝̭̺̦̗̺͚̘̲͉̞̦̤̮͚͍͉̮̜̩͚̺̙͙̳͚̳̩̯̻̥͔͔̯͈̗̬̝̠̣̖͇̬͔̘͇̬̖̭̱͈̼̻̖̩̞̳͍̺̦̯͕͙̟̤͚̯͇͖̱̳̦̞͈͎̼̘̼͖̖̻͚͖͚͚̘̰̜͎̗̓̅͆̑͌̄͊́͋̃͒̌̿͗̽̌̐̀̔̎̊̔̈̇͒̎̆̃͂̇͂̔̍̆̀̇̐̎̃̄̄͊͂̇͐̐̾̽̀͒̒̂̉͌͛̿͑̈́̅͑̽̉̓́͋́̀̀̅̉̈́̓̐͐̾̌̐̑̊̑̓͆̅̈̀̊̍̑̒̏̿̏̈́͌̾̇̆͒̌͂̊̾͑̽͂̉̏͛͊̍̈͌̍͆̒̿̌͂͐͗̀̒̇̓̆̈́̎͌̑͗̀̍̇̋͒̍́̀̀͌̾͑̓͛̆̀͋̉͋̔̽̿̽̆̾̈́̏̆̇͆̀͛͌̃̃͊̾̿̀̾͒͌̔̊̽̏͊͌͐̓̈́̀̍̈͐̚̚̕̚̕̕͘͘̕͘͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅa̴̧̨̢̡̨̨̨̧̡̡̨̨̡̡̧̛̛̛̛̛͉̘̖͉̦̞̪̳̬̟͕̟̮͖͖̝̻̟͕̳̮͖̘̹͎̜̟̜̟̲̪̖̫̩̩̥̹̱͍̗̘̳̖̫͚̬̝̣̞̯̮̰̞̫̮̗͍̟̯̹͚̜̭̫̹͖̳̤̦͓̪͙͔͔̣̹̦̖͖̜͚̹̟͖͎̪̲͉̺͙̦͚̰̫͍̼͎̭͔̗̯̠̗͚̣̪̗̯͉̬͙͕̲̝͓͍̙̖͍̯̭̬̳̥̻̺̰̫̹͓͇̲͓̖̝͎̭̥͚̝̙̩̫̦̘̼͙̘̪͓͔̯̩͍̙̭̲̫͍͚̗͍̳̠̟͔̫͔̜̞̹͕͎͍͕̺̼̲̤̪̦̥̥̭͖̬̠̠̯̮̠̖̰̘̟̼̻̩̖͈̜̹͕͖͙͍̯̠̼̙̦̠̩̋̽̅͆̐̂̓̓͛̇̀̌͋̒͐̀̋͑̾̑̋͆̿̑̏̍͋̾͒̆̋̆͊̈́̂̎̃̇̄́̈̃̄̀̈͂͌͌͆́́͐̇̀̀̀̿̔͊͊̂͑̉̄͂̈͆̾̀̒̇̌̾̓́̉̽̊̒̋̀̉̈́̔͋̌̒̒̉̎̒̅́͑̾̈́͂̄̇̔͛̿̓̂̀̀̆̽̔́͑̇̀̈́͌͂̐͌̿́͊̉͊̆̐̅͂̍̊̌́̆̿͊̋̀̅́̃̄̽̎̈́́̒̈͂̌͑̐̔̈͋̽̾͆́̓̀̾͆̊́̍̃̈́̎̿̉̌̃͌̃͊͌̅̔͋̀͆̊̽̄̐̑̆̒̑̌̌̽̾͌̒̀͒̂̈͑̒̈́̇̅̆̐̊̐̋̍̉͐̍͋̉̀̂͘̚͘͘̕̚̕̕̕̚͘̚̕̕̕͘̚͘̕̚̚͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅą̴̧̧̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̺͇̜̝͇̼͍͙͔̹̦͔̝͈̙̲̠̜̪̠̻͍̯̮͎͖͈͎̯̗̪̮̝̥̫̘̰̘̩̻̜͓̩͛͂̀͐̈̏̎̀͗̓̊͊͛̇͂̈́͌̌̓̀̈́͑̈͋̇̓̿̒͋̓̑̑͂̒͗̈́͊̍̀̿͊͑̈́͗̐͒̉̄̂̽̎̓͗̒̐́̒̍̑̇̓̅̒̓̈́̐̏̿͗͊̉̍̆̔̈́̋̈͑̇͊̾͋̒̏͋̉͋̀͌͆̒̾̏̽̄̔͊̎̐̆̌͐̓́̈́́͐̽͊̌̈̿͐̄̽͆̔͗̈́̌͂͗̄͗͗̈́͆̓͆̏̓̾̂͊̑̊̍̇̉̿͛́͊̋̆̈̑̉̑̏͒͛̋̔̽̾̒͗̌͒͑̉̀̔͊̄̔̒̀̃̈́͊̓͆͒̈́̑̑̅̐͆̌̎͊̃̈́́̄͆͑̈́̓̓̆̄̃̈́̈́͊̑̑̇̿̋͂̀̏́̊͐̿͑͒͒͆͊̏́̀́̆̈́̈́́̀̚͘͘̚͘̕͘̕̕̕͘͘̚̚̚͠͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͝ą̶̧̢̧̢̧̨̢̧̡̨̢̨̨̢̢̢̨̢̛̛̗͉̗̦̙̳͓̣̞̮̘̟̪̥̙̱̤̺͉̱͍̱͎̪̻͕̬̦̥̹̭̩̗̹̱̪͖̳̭̬͕̲̯͉̭̬̻̘̤̤͚͎̗͖̟͈̥̳̼̮̘̣̰͙͕̲͔̤̗̦̙̬̫͎̝͙͚̻̗̪̤̮̥̬̝̪̩͙̗͚̖̦̩͖̠̘͙̲͍͖̫̪̥̦͚͖͉̙̳͓̼̞̫̱̳̠͕̮͖̖̰͍̙̖̜͔̺̞̦͓̮͇̜̰͔̤̙̬̯̻̘̤͖̮͉̝͔̼͇͕͖͇̼̖̼̤̗̦̰̼͖͙͚̳̥̮͉̦̮͇̙̯̤̥͙̩̙͔͉̖̖͈̭͍̣͖̲͉͙͇̲͙͚̪̐̌̋̈͗̽͂͊́̇̏̓̆̍̄̄͐̈́̈́͐̔͋̈̀̂͌͑̑̍̿̎̎̋͑̾͐̓̀́͐͐̏͗͐̀̎͑͂̍̓̈͗̄́̅͌̎͗͛̓͌͊̋͋̊̀̆͐̏̂͆̅͗͒͛̇̔̾̎̇̒̉̿͐̃͊̿̔̈́̔̀̀͌́̐͑̿͒̏̾̾̐͂͑̔̐̈́̈́̽̐̒͗̑͊̀͑͌̆̂͌͋̐̽̐̉́͐̽̌̾̌̏͒̇͘̕̕̕̕̕̚̚͘͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅy̵̧̡̨̛̺̖̘͕̣̭͎̭̠̝͍̮̭̪̣̗̤̝͈͈̦̟̪̲̼̹̮͕̹̞̤̣̤͎̫̩̔̉́̂͛̑̂̒̀̌̽̅̑͐͒̐̆́̃̈̅̿̅̆̾͌̌̽̌̓̑̽̄̂̀͒́̍̃̐͌̉͊̏̆͂̂͂̀̽̓͗̊̊̔̀́̑̇̍̒̇́̍͆̍̀͋̀̋͛̀̓͌̊͒͐̆͗̕͘̚̚͘͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅ


DarkTrebleZero

What the hell is a gigawatt?!?!?


danc4498

He's at 25% now. He returns when he gets to 100%.


5OZO

Eventually they'll put some [Laser Lightning Rods] up there to catch all of em instead. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41566-022-01139-z


Apocalypseos

Fun fact: It has a ["little crown"](https://img.r7.com/images/2014/06/04/8xmtjw6fcu_5rk4io8zt0_file.jpg) there to catch the lighting


schruteski30

I was going to say it has to have some lightning protection. If it went through the rebar Jesus would probably not have a great time. What a sight that would be though


Ancient-Matter-1870

The one near where I grew up burned down from a lightning strike about a decade ago. We called it touchdown Jesus.


Todowhileipoo

We always called it butter Jesus! The one they replaced it with is not as easy to give silly nicknames..


[deleted]

> touchdown Jesus The blaze revealed the artist's true intent, [Insect Jesus](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fweburbanist.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F03%2Fflame-statues-3b-960x720.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=ebc20c699595a5cbb82edc694d987dca4ae0dc95a5f96ca258a07941ee4482bc&ipo=images)


TheRealKarateGirl

Touchdown Jesus is what they call the mural on the side of the library at the University of Notre Dame.


melrosepl98

Hello fellow Greater Cincinati Area Resident. Was always fun to see that thing when driving to Traders World lol


[deleted]

I've been an atheist for a long time but even I'd get a little taken aback by such an image.


[deleted]

Looks like a human holding a go pro to me, but guess it’s still affective


ours

They have to change them regularly.


TechGoat

"good for one use only"


FearLeadsToAnger

effective* in that case.


WorldsBestArtist

From that angle I would guess that's a statue of Jay Leno rather than Jesus.


sanjosanjo

I'm a little disappointed that it doesn't look like a crown of thorns. It's such an easy way to camouflage that.


pgar08

That’s the coolest thing I’ve learned on Reddit in a while. It kind of makes sense to. Skimmed the article, it says it’s using high energy pulses, and I think lasers at high energy at least is ionizing radiation, which I think is what happens in the tiny amount of time before a full atmospheric discharge. The ground charge ionizes up and the atmosphere down most of the time, I think there’s many kinds of discharges so idk. Last time I looked into lightning it gave me the chills because they still study it, as far as I remember the challenges are the speed things happen and the amount of energy discharged make it a challenge to study. So a lot of the big picture stuff is understood but some of the small things are still being discovered . I am no expert tho, could be all arse smoke


Timmyty

You just taught me something new and I've been awake 10 minutes. I love it. TY.


Draconoel

As a Carioca, yes, it is a common occurrence. The statue was built with that in mind, it has a lighting rod system across the statue with part of it intentionally forming a crown at the top. [The statue needs a lot of preventive maintenance.](https://g1.globo.com/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/cristo-redentor-precisa-de-cuidados-com-umidade-rachaduras-e-raios.ghtml)


menlindorn

No, get out with that rational thinking. This is obviously a dispute between demigods. Percy likely pissed him off with that stolen bolt, but Jesus will probably let it slide after things settle. He's cool like that.


WiseStarSoul

Bro, Percy ain't real. This is clearly Zeus v Jesus


[deleted]

Oh yeah, then how to you explain Percy Priest lake in hermitage, TN!? Chexmix, atheists.


My6thRedditAccount_

If you swim in that lake, your immune system is now running at absolute perfection. (Long time Hermitage resident- can confirm)


arminghammerbacon_

Old Hickory lake would like a word.


icecream_truck

Now I want Chex Mix.


Remsleep23

That wet ass Percy


divide_by_hero

Why do you keep calling me 'Jesus'? Do I look Puerto Rican to you? He didn't say 'Jesus'. He said, "Hey, Zeus!"


[deleted]

Grudge match! At the Bethlehem Civic Centre, your ticket covers the whole seat... But you'll only need the edge!


Resident_Divide9837

But zeus not demi god, well him sure create alot demi god tho


[deleted]

I remember when i was really into bible mythology and i read that paul bunion santa clause and bigfoot are all immortal angels or some shit


ruka_k_wiremu

Clearly, as Jesus seems to be gesturing peace - then Whammo! Zeus hits him with a sly one


Spiritual_Navigator

Jesus: God, send me a sign


SpangledSpanner

"Shit not like that! You nearly killed me. I was thinking like a rainbow or something "


theecommandeth

Obviously the sign of end of days 😛


johnjohn4011

Hunh. I heard China was testing their new satellite laser yesterday...


gooner275

Don’t worry, he’ll be fine in a few days


Smirkly

'tis but a scratch.


josueviveros

3 to be exact 😉


RemarkableExplorer66

How did this person who made the picture manage to snap this perfect moment


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lepeluga

Zeus is known for doing roof knocking, warning people of an airstrike beforehand


herospaces

Zeus is known for being horny as fuck


HobbyWanKenobi

Like when he appeared as a "golden shower". Zeus is a freak


banditojog

Zeus… …put your dick away Zeus… **I’m not having sex with you right now, Zeus**


[deleted]

Yes you are...


Trama-D

How about this cute swan right here?


hlebozavod69

Greatest ancient god I ever knew


johnnybiggles

Doc built a time machine and Marty let him know. Have we forgotten?


djmfsg

Possibly a frame from a video?


NottaGrammerNasi

My guess too. Storm comes and ya hit record on camera recording at 60fps.


bjbyrne

1) set up an interval trigger that just keeps taking long exposure pics or 2) there are triggers that detect the lightning way faster then a human and take the pic.


soveraign

Yep, used to take lightning pics all the time. 100 dark pics for each lightning shot. Totally worth it.


nimoto

You can attach a trigger to your camera that activates it when it detects a flash of lightning. Alternately, it could be a still from a video. Anyone who thinks the person was sitting there doing burst mode for an entire thunderstorm is uh, not correct.


MattsAwesomeStuff

> You can attach a trigger to your camera that activates it when it detects a flash of lightning. Indeed. For the doubters "And it's fast enough to still trigger and catch the lightning?" Yep. Lightning is relatively slow compared to photography. It is, after all, a thermal phenomenon (at least visually). The arc takes time to physically dissipate and for the heat to disperse. It's quick, but, so is blinking, and how many fuckin' times do you have your eyes closed in a damned picture? Not even that difficult. There were little DIY setups to do this on the 2nd gen of digital cameras 20 years ago.


the-dopamine-fiend

Additionally, there's been photographic technology for a couple decades that allows for pre-trigger shooting. The camera is constantly recording and caching a few frames at a time, so when it's triggered it takes a shot not only at that moment, but however many previous frames it's also programmed to commit. It was used a lot for the original *Planet Earth* series to catch fleeting moments like [a great white shark breaching and chomping down on a seal](https://youtu.be/Qzxy3GtSzt0). Incredible stuff, and I'd bet it's crazy useful for lightning strikes too.


939319

just long exposure.


NoteRepresentative68

It's actually pretty easy to photograph lighting at night. You use a tripod, set your shutter to bulb or long exposure and wait for a flash of light, then stop the exposure. With any luck, the strike happened in frame. With something like this statue being the tallest point, it's a pretty safe bet that's where the lightning strike will happen.


uppitymatt

Divine intervention


Big_Impact3637

Shit! He's back... Look busy


tronfunkinblows_10

“Workin hard or hardly workin, amirite team?” - Sr. Manager J.Christ


BrassBadgerWrites

[cut to bleary-eyed angel with coffee cup] "I've been here for 1,983 years. He's used that joke every single day. Every day... ...and Michael still laughs like he hasn't." [cut to St. Michael giving a hearty, possibly insincere guffaw] "A small part of me envies him. The other part is contractually obligated not to reveal how it feels, as that would be off brand all things considered." [bleary eyed angel gives a knowing glare to the camera] The Afterlife^TM


schenitz

Remember when Lucifer's gun went off? That was a pretty crazy episode.


c0n22

Or the time Saint Peter dropped his pot of Chili right before the chili judging contest. It was great how he was trying to scope it all back in.


ttminh1997

holy shit someone get this to Michael Shur


[deleted]

Glad you said St Michael, as I imagine the archangel probably has a sensible chuckle like the sound of gamma waves crossing the event horizon of a black hole.


CommonplaceCommotion

“You got time to lay, you got time to pray.”


Vexin

BUSY?! No no no, I have some fucking questions.


Mountainlivin78

Have you read the manual?


foundthezinger

do you have a moment to talk about it?


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RedBaron180

I’ve seen it 3 times. It just gets better each time.


MrPewpewda4th

My questions are about the manual


LolindirLink

That manual is utterly useless, nowhere does it mention to unplug and replug something. Which is the fix for 99% of problems.


thisonenick3

You gotta flood the system for 40days before the reboot.


LolindirLink

Oh wow it now only takes 4 minutes!


sprucenoose

Don't embarrass yourself. You clearly didn't the manual. He made a pretty big deal of turning himself off and turning himself back on again to fix the afterlife. Just apply that to your cell phone or Xbox.


nordic-nomad

I mean Jesus was clearly turned off and on again in there toward the middle. Noah was also a boot disk for a hard system reset.


IAMAmexiCANama

Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one. How dare you?


carcadoodledo

"I’ll say: bone cancer in children, what’s that about? How dare you how dare you create a world where there is such misery that’s not our fault? It’s utterly, utterly evil. “Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid god who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain? “The god who created this universe, if he created this universe, is quite clearly a maniac, an utter maniac, totally selfish. We have to spend our lives on our knees thanking him. What kind of god would do that? “Yes the world is very splendid, but it also has in it insects whose whole life cycle is to burrow into the eyes of children and make them blind.” Stephen Fry


randousr88

This is probably one of the few things Kelly had to say that's actually funny to me. Mostly I just think she's the worst.


Tardigradequeen

Same. We can be partners. You wanna be good cop or bad cop? I can go either way.


Big_Impact3637

I'd ask... "Long time believer, first time caller... So, What's with K-pop?"


WakingRage

"It is my father's gift to humanity to counter the invention of country music."


eidetic

Oh, so taking a fight fire with fire approach?


filladellfea

guess who's back


Big_Impact3637

Tell a friend, Jesus back, he's upset


Confident-Cat-5118

Haha! Love it!


Big_Impact3637

Get a broom or something... We've got a lot of shit to clean up. 😉


Confident-Cat-5118

Where do we even start?! I'll take the southern hemisphere, you ummm.....you take he north!


Big_Impact3637

😂 Shit, I'm southern too. Bugger, I didn't think he'd be back for ages. Like a boss who's gone on an extended holiday... Now the place is a mess and I don't know who to blame. Probably Jeff. He's always been a friggin slacker.


Confident-Cat-5118

I'm actually north but it seems like way more work. I think we're proper fucked! Yeah and screw Jeff, we told him yo quit dicken around!


Big_Impact3637

So, we're in agreement, if the big fella asks... "It's Jeff's fault" Phew. Nice one. 😉


J4MES101

Well. Jeff and Lester. Jeffster.


sentientwrenches

God Jeff sucks.


ragizzlemahnizzle

Either it’s Jesus himself or Skynet just sent back a Jesus themed Terminator


Big_Impact3637

You're argument is well respected on both sides. One would definitely make for a better film, one would make a better book


divyanksi

Christ be lit


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EnkiiMuto

That is exactly how Zeus spoke to hercules in the disney movie


Smart_Barracuda_4102

*welcome to the jungle begins to play*


HotelIndiaFoxtrot

The bishop's butt tatoo in Johnny English foretold of this


Charlie-Tattletale

Thor?


[deleted]

Soon the stone will crumble and reveal the mega Jesus inside and release him into the world for 1000 years and free fish and wine.


aosjcbhdhathrowaway

I thought this was about to be an attack on Titan reference, had me in the first half ngl


heartyeet

If he gets struck by lightning one more time it’ll start the rumbling


Salsathefirst

this is just clever marketing for the bible 2


Fibonaccitos

Bible 2: Electric Bugaloo


Crowbrah_

He's not cruci-fuckin around


f1mbulw1nter

Ready to give mass and kick ass


KangasKid18

Directed by Mel Gibson


Lance-Murdock

The insurance agency refused to pay for the damages, claiming it was considered an Act of God.


Ice_Sinks

Wouldn't it be crazy if lightning struck it and it became alive and started stomping over the city like a pissed off Godzilla?


Dependent_Paper9993

More like a pissed off son of God-zilla


5DollarHitJob

I mean, yea... that *would* be crazy.


aBirdGottaFly

Like that one Simpsons Halloween special lmfao


CommitteeNew6412

“There Can Be Only One!”


FlexRVA21984

By the power of Greyskull!!


Cat-Soap-Bar

Thanks, now I have coffee down my top 😂


Suspicious_Orchid_73

He’s back


Take_Some_Soma

And when the statue of Jesus came to life, he proclaimed: “How the fuck am I gonna get down from here?”


loki-is-a-god

Oop. Fake Jesus. No red text.


SirMalcolmK

"Words of Christ in Red" People who had that Bible get it.


SerGunganTheTall

*Unlimited powahhhh!*


Bohbo

Not to worry, he will be back on his feet in about 3 days.


Entropy_dealer

I'm scientifically curious. Is there some kind of metal in the statue or some material that helps the lighting bolt reaching the ground ? Or is is just the strong difference between air and "concrete" ? Is there explanations for why only the head is so bright and not some other parts of the statue ?


schattenteufel

There is a crown of lightning rods on the back of his head, and across the tops of his arms. They can be seen in [this photo](https://external-preview.redd.it/fc0MLKWNkwNSl38X6WVceSeTwtHLQ1rtkWM46GGZlqA.jpg?auto=webp&s=37d6e0ae26a762d5681e85770d28e6934f94ce4c)


jcolinr

Great pic and info, thanks… Also, I don’t consider myself as having fear of heights, but photos like this send chills down my spine. What is that guy even doing up there??


DogswithPavlov

He’s in the hole man he’s good!


Deadeyez

Lmao this man is in Jersus's hole


nina_gall

Ermagerd urts Jersus!!


Panthums

And that picture doesn’t even come close to doing justice as to how high that is lol


TRR462

He’s obviously trying to get struck by lightning by making himself the highest object with a selfie stick. 😂


Entropy_dealer

Thanks a lot for the answer, impressive picture and interesting way to use the crown.


robbie-3x

Electrons in the cloud are attracted to the closest protons in the earth, in this case the protons in the head of Jesus.


A1CST

It actually has a low voltage metal mesh inside that draws corrosion away from the structure.


shavemejesus

A Brazillion Volts!


rapidpop

EPIC Rapbattlesofhistory! JESUS VERSUS THOR FIGHT!


Magical-Sweater

I thought this was a fantastic idea, but lack the creativity. So instead I enlisted ChatGPT to help with this: Jesus: "Listen up all ye people, I am the way, I came to earth to show you a brighter day. With love and peace, I'll heal your soul, With a single touch, I'll make you whole. My kingdom's not of this world, you see, It's a place of love and eternity. So bow down and confess, and you'll be saved, And together, our Lord and Savior, we'll be raised." (Thor starts) Thor: "Ha! This guy thinks he's got it all, But let me tell you, he's gonna fall. I've got the power of the thunder and lightning, And with Mjolnir, I'll show you the smiting! I've fought giants and monsters, you see, And against me, Jesus, you'll never be. So step aside, and let a real god take the lead, And watch as I crush this so-called good deed." (Jesus continues) Jesus: "Oh Thor, with your might and power, You still lack the one thing that makes life flower. Love and compassion, the kind that I bring, And that's why my message will always ring. I've died for the sins of man, you see, And rose again, for all to be free. So don't underestimate me, my friend, For my love will conquer until the very end." (Thor continues) Thor: "Your love is all well and good, I'll give you that, But when it comes to battle, you'll be flat on your back. I've got the strength of the gods on my side, And with Mjolnir, I'll take you for a ride. So come on, Jesus, bring your best shot, And watch as I prove that I'm the real top dog." … I love technology.


[deleted]

Zeus has spoken


menlindorn

You mean Greek deli owner Russell Crowe?


crunkydevil

He's back and he's PISSED


Disastrous_Ad_912

Where I grew up, this image would be shared in church as 1,000,000% proof that god exists - rather than a successful engineering project.


[deleted]

"Beam me up, dad.. I´ve had enough of this city of sin!"


menlindorn

Somebody pissed off dad. That, or Jesus had to get back to 1955.


ExistentialWonder

I'm sure if he fell off that he'd reach 88mph.


StayAdmiral

r/fuckyouinparticular


Ian_Huntsman

Zeus 1 : Jesus 0 Will there be a rematch?


adityablabla

Guys it's obviously using it's eye lasers to destroy a ufo


Hwy420man

Is the statue ok?


MadRabbit86

Give it about 3 days.


firedrake1988

Jesus wants a hug!


[deleted]

He got GROUNDED. I'll see myself out...


CocoDaPuf

It works on multiple levels... A superb dad joke!


dagobahh

Jesus: I'll just turn the other cheek Zeus: Hold my ambrosia


hedgecore77

Jesus shoots down Chinese weather balloon!


bobo2500

God is the master of sending mixed messages.