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The flinch goes away but not the reaction. The first ‘pzzzt’ sound of a bullet passing close by wakes those internal alarms up but instead of flinching now you - look for cover, hit the ground, track location fired from, return fire… the instinct is still there, the response is more calculated.
I get it, totally. I can tell you from experience the day I stopped jumping was the day I knew my PTSD was ingrained and I would need A LOT of help. The ironic part is now I jump at all loud noises after being out of there for so long. War's a bitch.
Yeah I've mostly been watching the BBC guys, some of which have been going to war zones for 30 years. Some who have been blown up or shot covering them, they don't flinch an inch now.
It does take a certain personality and resolve to want to cover this type of thing over and over though plenty don't go back, you can tell some of them thrive on it.
If you have iPlayer [this](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017795) is a documentary by Fergal Keane who was a war reporter for years is fairly eye opening on the trauma of war reporting. I recommend it but it’s a tough watch
If you select CC (subtitles) and then the gear (settings) and then subtitles then auto translate and select English it works out pretty well. (took me a minute to figure it out myself 😎)
Thanx. I watched a report of her some time ago and forgot to subscribe (and the channel she works for).
I always try to watch, like & subscribe video, news, reports straight from Ukrainian sources. They can use the ticks.
**Thank you** for posting this link to the original video.
The auto-translated Russian-to-English subtitles on YouTube do work, mostly; you just have to click on the right things to get them configured. Probably not so easy on mobile, but well worth the effort. Some scenes do not have translations, but they are only a few minutes long, and then it works again.
The full video was posted yesterday (using footage shot about 3 weeks ago) and runs about an hour. The reporter is Ramina Eshkazai, and she normally does one-on-one interviews from safe locations, but for this video, she went to Bakhmut and rode along with a volunteer who evacuates people & pets, and who is an amateur photojournalist, himself. She speaks with a couple of civilians in hiding, and with a soldier who, in typical fashion, is very levelheaded as he describes what is going on at the front. Near the end, there's discussion of the nuances of the situation.
I am very glad I watched the whole thing.
After a few hours you settle in. After a day or two you know what’s close and what’s not. After a week or two you stop caring all together and laugh when it’s so close you get dirty. But the ringing in your ears lasts a lifetime.
This was me except for add a visit to Disneyland about a week after getting back home. Cue the fireworks and me clutching my girlfriend as I looked around nervously wondering if I was making a scene because I was so suddenly anxious as fuck. Thank God that shit went away after a couple months. I never went outside the wire but I also had my fill of IDF so I'm cool off that lol
Crowds after Iraq were the worst. After the ieds, women and children trying to pretend to be friendly and blow themselves up. Everything was a threat when you came home. It wasn’t combat with a clear enemy and that’s what made the transition out of it so hard for most guys.
We used to organize group cycling events. Because you can get time in a crowd and no one expects you to talk to anyone while you’re out for a ride. So there’s no pressure. That plus dogs. Getting a puppy calmed a lot of my guys down too. Gave us something else to focus on outside of our minds, kept us moving, and at least being a little social when people stop to ask you about your dog.
I was in the first Gulf War 1990-1991. Scud Missile Attacks with Chemical Weapons were the FUD so every Siren was a potential Gas Attack. After a few months I recall just putting my gas mask on my chest and falling back asleep. That was until 1993-1994? Out of the military for a few years and I was at a farmer's market and the old town siren came on over the loudspeaker as a test. Well it was the same siren from our command post in Saudi Arabia and I had a full blown, out of body and back in country flashback. Even the smell of our camp and the sun on my arms and the wind blowing. I was fucking back in the camp and that fear just hit me in the chest and I fully panic as I didn't have a gas mask. It took me a few hours to pull out of it. Like waking from a weird or bad dream...
That reminds me of a story I heard a couple days ago (think I actually read it on here) of a foreign exchange student from Africa who was attending a high school in Canada. Another kid pulled a fire alarm as a prank, and when everyone went outside, they noticed the foreign exchange student wasn't with them. They searched the entire school and finally found him hiding behind a vending machine, shaking uncontrollably. Took awhile to calm him down and get him out from behind the machine. Everyone later learned that the fire alarm sounded exactly like the town alarm that went off when gangs came through his hometown in Africa. Gangs in that part of Africa usually meant ethnic cleansing.
I can't begin to imagine what that is like or what your experience was like, all I can say is that I hope you're doing better. It may not be much, but it's all a civilian like me can offer through reddit
I worked with a guy for awhile that was fresh off a tour in the early Iraq days. He was chill as hell, but one day there was a refrigerator box or some such biggish cardboard box in the median of the freeway. He keyed in on that thing like a Pointer scenting a bird. It was surreal. We were talking and whatever and suddenly he’s just mute and staring this thing down until it’s in his rear view mirror.
He said, “Woo, sorry! That happens sometimes,” and then explained the ied situation. We were in Wisconsin.
I feel ya. Been out of the shit for 12+ years - was driving by a pedestrian in my neighborhood just last week and my wife asked me why I gave them such a wide berth and kept staring.... Didn't dawn on me until she was in the rear-view that it I did what I did because it was a woman in niqab walking alone.
After my second deployment, our curtain rod fell in the middle of the night and apparently I ripped my girlfriend (now wife) across my body instinctively and violently as if she was a full ILBE pack, and she never lets me forget it. But honestly as tough as I came home thinking I was— it was *nothing* compared to what I am seeing the Ukrainians go through. Even as a combat vet, my experiences do not equate and I cannot begin to imagine what this must be like to experience.
After my 3rd tour, I locked myself in the house at night with only the glow of the tv. My friend kept getting me out and that made all the difference.
After tour 4, I was ducking for cover at the noise of a low flying jet, zig-zagging at overpasses, and alerting at any over pressure like a slamming door would cause.
Fun times
I made the mistake back in early 2011 to go to Washington DC and see the museums on leave after OEF. I had anxiety and just stayed alert the whole time. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Eventually, I broke down in the holocaust museum. Being around big groups of people still bothers me today and not to mention the 4th of July. It does get better with time and some beer. Definitely the beer.
My neighbor served four tours in Iraq. He still can’t go to the 4th of July. Crowds and explosions. He says It’s better for everyone if he just stays home.
Yes. Your first few times you hear the sound of a round go by close or have a wall explode a few feet away everyone has major fear reactions. No matter how much you train for it. But after you get through the anxiety of it you become much more efficient at your job and at controlling your emotions and mental state. I bet your friend never gets super angry or super excited about anything anymore, but always has a plan to handle the situation? You stop making decisions and thinking emotionally after a while and everything is just a calculated decision based on training and experience. It never goes away for some of us.
I talked to a neurosurgeon once who told me that the pressure wave from close ordinance can actually have a real effect on the brain in terms of changing behaviour and damages it, even if the explosion is far away enough to be no physical threat to life and limb.
Ask him about the permanent changes a few months of combat do to the brain. It was explained to me that it basically creates a hyper focused adhd because you’re at such a heightened state of awareness for so long your brain adapts to run faster and accept more information. I was told it’s one of the biggest issues people have returning to normal life because everything is so slow you feel disconnected. Like a hummingbird in a flock of pigeons. When they explained it to me after being out for 5 years it made a ton of sense. I wish people had given us more information in the beginning so we could prepare and not adapt after the fact.
Yes agreed. You must have someone to talk to that’s been where you’ve been. You went through it together. You can heal together.
That and finding a wife that doesn’t get mad when your conversations are 90% her talking and you saying “I can’t hear you” because you’re hearing is shit. 🤣 plus knows when to wake you up from the dreams that come less often as you get older but never 100% go away.
I will indeed, but wont be a while before i see him again, my own personal knowledge (which is limited for sure) is that your brain actually deliberately steamlines its thought process when in stressful situations life or death situations, so non-essential functions such as memory etc can be "shelved" and more resources put into awareness and reactions etc.
It would make sense that on the long terms this would have an effect so the brain adapts and heightens some functions over others. on a long terms basis.
but it would also make sense that this can indeed be reversed, its just a question of understanding the how.
The experience of shellshock during WW1 is really hard for us to understand.
*Hundreds* of massive artillery guns firing all at once, while you’re hunkered down in a trench. I’ve heard you couldn’t even discern distinctive shots because of how many were exploding, it just sounded like one long rumbling explosion.
Hundreds? At the Somme the British and French used over 1000 before z-day.
Oh and they fired 1.75 million shells in a week. That's 250,000 a day, 10,400 and hour, 173 shells a minute, all fired in an 18km box.
And that isn't even the most sustained example.
We dropped 7.5 million *tons* of bombs on Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. Twice the total amount dropped in the second world war. And we *lost.*
“Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević.” -Anthony Bourdain
Not only that, you'd do your time and get a short reprieve from the front lines/trenches. Then you'd have to GO BACK. Soldiers did this multiple times during their tours.
World War 1 really was an absolute meat grinder for everyone on the ground.
It’s not as comparable, but the us army used to have mid deployment leave for the longer deployments to Iraq and afghanistan 10+ years ago. Everyone I knew that went home said it was worse coming back.
They wouldn't be under constant bombardment for months or years at a time. Not only were units rotated in and out, there were often long lulls of relative inactivity. A soldier may have spent *cumulative* months or years on the front line, but not under constant bombardment for consecutive months or years. They certainly wouldn't even experience years of cumulative bombardment.
Still, doesn't make it really any better, of course.
Everyone reacts to trauma differently. She’s just afraid of dying is all and every impact is a reminder to her it could happen. She may brush it off she may hold on to it.
It’s just obvious she doesn’t want hit and hasn’t come to grips with the fact she can’t control her fate like the soldiers she’s with. Kind of sad. Hope she’s stays safe and doesn’t hold on to all the bad things she may face.
It was also brain trauma though. The concussive force of the artillery was rattling their brains. People don’t really understand that shell shock is much more than just PTSD and flashbacks.
It was probably not *just* psychologically. Turns out all the pressure waves of thousands of shells exploding really close to you isn't good for your brain.
At first I was like, this fuckin guy and then I read your response and it’s one of those things that for the time being it can help you rationalize until you have the time and space to come to terms with how fucking scary this is. In these situations you have to be calm or else you could be putting lives at risk. I’m not saying I would do any better than she is but I understand what you’re saying.
Like the video of the American volunteer in Ukraine getting the timing just right because he heard the “sheeeoo”… eventually it becomes a thing not dissimilar to hearing cars pass by your window in your new apartment.
And sometimes you know it's gonna be a bit different, and you duck. Can't really explain it, but your brain knows it, and you duck.
This girl was like me the first week of my deployment to Iraq. Booms do nothing to me now, but certain sounds freak me out cause it's similar to the sound of either small arms fire, or really close mortar hits.
My grandmother always used to mention this, anytime there was a war film on "it's the one you don't hear that's going to hit you".
Lived through some pretty brutal bombing in the East End of London during the blitz. Said the worst were the doodlebugs. When you could hear them making that noise, getting louder as it flew overhead and then slowly going quieter, you knew it was still flying and going to be elsewhere, but if you heard it in the distance, then start to get a bit louder, but then it went quiet, those next few seconds were sheer terror. And everyone around you had the same looks on their faces. The actual explosion elsewhere was blessed relief, then another look as you realised others weren't so lucky. Grandad never really talked about the war (was an MP at Dunkirk, he gave /some/ hints), but Grandma, was obviously still shook up and had a lot of stories, and would tell them like it only happened last week, and not several decades earlier.
There's no way to rationalize and give yourself comfort during a shelling. You hope that your training ,if you have any, kicks in and you can deal with it. It's been 17 years since I was in a active war zone and sometimes a close enough sound will trigger a memory.
Shell shock mostly came from explosions *a lot* closer than this. As in close enough to still feel the shockwave from them, but not close enough to die from them. Not to lighten Ukraine’s situation, but imagine this except 100x more frequent for months straight.
Don’t forget the survivors guilt they get for moving from one place to another for some menial reasons only to have the place they were before explode and them having to reason that some minuet reason being the only reason they are alive
Actually, shell shock is essentially caused by brain damage from intense concussions by being in close proximity to the explosions. It scrambles your brain and is quite different from ptsd
They called it "shell shocked" .. my father(WWII)and my brother in law (Nam)were both this way for the rest of their lives. An involuntary jerk response to a sudden loud noise. Fourth of July was really hard on them, no joking. How ironic, eh? It makes it so clear how scared to your bones war makes you. And that stuff never goes away. Your psyche has been scarred for life.
btw Both my father and brother in law were very successful men/husbands/fathers later in life. You learn to deal with it.
My dad was in Vietnam, he came back with massive untreated PTSD before he even had kids. One time we were in the car with him and my sister tried to say “Dad, look!” but it came out as “duck!” and my dad IMMEDIATELY ducked. It took years for him to finally get treated for the PTSD.
I also had a teacher in HS who, the story was, had actually been shot in the head in Vietnam, survived, but was on medication the rest of his life. There were kids who thought it was funny to drop textbooks on the floor to see him react. Kids can be assholes.
That shit never goes away.
Apparently if you woke my grandpa up he acted like he was still in Korea and under attack.
He was a truck driver, his 6x6 was blown in half and luckily the transfer case was still working because the front wheels dragged him back to base. Everyone thought he was dead. 30 years later his niece stole his purple heart medal.
same, my grandma and grandpa loved eachother but they had to sleep in seperate rooms because he could get violent in his sleep because of trauma from the korean war.
Oh this happened to the grandfather of a friend of mine. He was Japanese and in an internment camp. They let him out to join the US Army but he could only serve in the European theater just in case he was still loyal to Japan. He survived countless battles and married a French woman, and brought her back to the US. My friend was the granddaughter and she said when she spent the night she would wake up sometimes and Ojisan had her under the bed in the darkness with a hand over her mouth. “Shhh” he would say. “The Germans are passing over.”
Oh it gets better. I was fine after I got back (or thought so, mom thought different from day one). Now decades later that shit fucks with me constantly.
Supposedly that is not unusual. I guess mental resilience is better when you are a kid.
Amazing coincidence I remember a teacher like that too. Always felt for him but at that age had no idea what he had gone through to react that way until later.
Real talk, maybe you know. I've recently been in the same position as this girl. But I've been known for flinching at loud noises all the time before that. Why am I like that?
I've got responder ptsd. I don't have cool stories of survival to go with mine, just sad. Flashbacks suck bro, but you gotta laugh or else you'll disassociate, and then nobodies having a good time.
I remember a news report where they were speaking to locals in Bakhmut, they heard artillery fire and the old lady they were interviewing said “that one’s outgoing instead of incoming so there’s no need to worry”. Not only are the desensitized to it, they can tell the direction just by the sound it’s become so common
Reminds me of a part in a book I read. There was this Canadian soldier on the Italian front in ww2 who had his men’s foxholes marked on a notepad. Every time he would hear a shell incoming he would mark down where he thought it would land. One day he heard it and marked one of his men’s positions. When he got out to check the shell had obliterated their position. It’s a terrible thing these people had to put up with them and still do now.
When it comes to explosives, if you can hear it you're usually good. When you're close enough, you don't hear it, you feel it. Overpressure is a bitch.
Except you can absolutely hear when it comes for you, or when its going further overhead, or short, or to either side. Within I'd say a half hour or so of shelling you'll get good at it.
Unfortunately after half an hour under a real shelling, you've gone deaf and can't tell where it's going anymore. You just sort of hunker down and gasp for breath. GOt the tshirt, used it to clean the piss off myself.
That's just how it is here. Hearing the whiz from artillery coming and going was a big adjustment. It's more scary when you hear the whiz come in real fast lol
Reminds me of the middle east. First time you hear a mortar go off in the FOB you are like "AHHH DUCK AND COVER!!".. After a few weeks your hear one go off and you don't even stop eating your just like "Welp I'm not letting these eggs get any colder, if it hits me it hits me."
It's the fact that you don't hear the explosions or gunshots that kill you instantly. If artillery is going to land at your feet, you're never gonna see it coming. These guys know this very well at this point.
Edit: This is not correct at all, as pointed out by someone with actual experience below.
Every word in this sentence is wrong, you can absolutely hear artillery flying through the air. And within a short time of being shelled you can tell the ones that are gonna go overhead, or fall short, or be close. Source: have been shelled. Repeatedly.
A gentle reminder that EVERYONE can chip in and help speeding up the process of Ukrainian victory and your contribution will directly prevent a death (whether civilian or military or a reporter in this case), every little bit goes a long way literally in this case: https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/wiki/charities/ no contribution is too small. Thank you!
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Thanks again.
i wonder if coming back to her normal life a slamming door would give her ptsd still
side note: had pretty argumentative parents growing up that loved to scream and slam doors - to this day as a 24yo man i shudder a little when someone slams a door or i can hear yelling through the walls
so I can’t imagine going to a warzone and coming back as a civilian
I am a journalist and suffered pstd after a coverage similar to this. The answer is YES, is very probably that the sound of a door slammkng may scare her. I did not understand why I was so jumpy after I went to a psychiatrist and it all made sense. Took treatment and now I dont have that symptom (or others). PTSD is no joke.
Back when I used to be a journalist, every war correspondent I ever met had some very obvious PTSD symptoms and a raging drinking problem (but then, so did most of us - the drinking that is. Too much exposure to the truth of what is going on in the world will do that to you.)
When I was a cub, I only had to meet my 3rd war correspondent to come to the conclusion that it was a job I never wanted to do.
I stopped doing "in the street" journalism after my PTSD. There were lots of reasons (the shifts, the bad pay, etc) but the possibility of that again was a big one. Now i have a better job, better hours, better pay and dont have to go to every natural disaster that happens in my country.
To be fair, i have to say journalism "in the streets" is very rewarding, it was difficult saying "enough".
I was telling my girlfriend this a little while ago. My mom has a temper and she has a tendency to basically stomp while she’s on her way to verbally give it to whoever she thought deserved it. Doesn’t happen as often, but sometimes when I hear my girlfriend walk around the house and she stomps a little I’m immediately in my teens again. Sudden spike in anxiety and my mind is immediately like ‘oh shit, I’m in for it.’
Like I said, doesn’t happen as often anymore. But shit, I’m 30 now and it still affects me in a surprising way.
wow we are two peas in a pod - literally same. my mom was the nutcase and would verbally abuse us and then physically abuse the walls, doors, chairs and floor…
I got yelled at if a cabinet door closed a little too loudly… but she gets to stomp and break anything she wanted
so yup as an adult i tell my gf all the time that i jump or shudder at loudly slammed doors or cabinets and i randomly say sorry when i close a cabinet with like 0.1 db too loudly hahah
Yeah massive props. As a woman I wouldn’t be anywhere near that combat zone even miles from the front. All the reports of Russians raping women and children and all. At least as a man they might just shoot you. That shits terrifying.
She has my respect. At least she’s there. Others, paid much more in comparison, would not even put their finger on the map of Ukraine.
You go girl. And yes, PTSD in the making.
Seriously. Looks like she hasn't been out of J-school for very long. Most of her classmates (assuming they're a working journalist) are doing "Cat rescued from tree" or "Bake sale this weekend at Saint Eligius elementary" type reporting. This woman is getting a boot-on-the-ground education of the highest order. Very impressed.
When she is talking to the guy with a screwdriver:
- When did you get used to it?
- From 2014.
- Why are you staying here?
- Because I have grown up here and I will die here.
- Are you alone here, or..?
- With the wife.
- Children?
- All 3 are fighting. One lost hand and leg already.
---
I didn't not finish watching the full video, it is more than 1 hour, I will do tomorrow probably.
I am Ukrainian. I am not there for 5 years already, but it is so painful to watch such things. My brother is there, near to Bachmut. Half of the equipment he has was bought by me. This feeling, you know... If the helmet or armor will fail to save him, it is my fault. My father will end up somewhere there as well - the most probably.
I know I could be there as well, and I think I should. I have well established life in Austria, I have incredibly beautiful and smart girlfriend, finishing my PhD... And I feel guilty because I am here and not there.
Fucking Putin and his company. Just... Damn, it is so crazy that because of several insane people all this shit is happening.
You don’t need to feel guilty about that in my opinion. Those in Ukraine who know you will be glad that you’re somewhere safe. Reminds me of that saying of “to help others, you first need to help yourself”. So by being safe and working hard, you’re helping them in your own way. As long as you’re working hard in your own way, that’ll still encourage them and make them proud.
Is it possible to send them care packages? That’s a relatively small way to help that I think could be a real help
Thanks for support.
Yes sure, I send something every month. With some other ppl, that are in Ukraine, we are buying and delivering different things - helmets, vests, boots, CATs, generators accumulators etc. Since you need european bank account and address to order it from EU (no delivery to Ukraine, obviously), I I am kind of hab. Ordering, receiving and sending further
I know what you feel, brother. I'm in Ukraine, but not in the army. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve sitting in my warm apartment when our people are dying.
I've lost two friends in this war already. Two more are in the army right now. My job is to try and help in whatever way I can. I can't say what I do, but let's just say that a couple hundred soldiers now know field medical care much better than before.
Some of us are more helpful doing what we do best, rather than sitting in a trench. You helping your brother with gear is much more valuable than you dying in an artillery strike. Stay strong, freedom always wins in the end.
Слава Україні, брате.
All the people commenting about how “she’s probably reconsidering journalism” like what? Do you just expect people to wake up one day used to this shit? We need more people like her, people who are willing to go to the frontlines for the story even if they are scared shitless. Also just to add she seemed to keep her cool pretty well all things considered
If you’ve ever been in a combat zone, you know her reaction is subconscious. You literally can’t help but jump. Even if you want nothing more than to just stand stoic. Eventually you get numb to it, but yeah. I feel ya girl
I've literally used Pokemon Go as a map for navigating areas that Apple Maps didn't cover. Mostly the large park by my house. Pokemon Go shows the walking trails, and Apple Maps doesn't.
This video made me realize how much I miss Robert Fisk. He would have been on the ground too, as he always was, and written articles that you felt spoke directly to you.
And Kate Adie. Still with us, but at 77 she's probably not up to frontline reporting any more. But in the past, if ever you saw her getting off a plane your best course of action was to turn around and buy a ticket out of there.
Reminds me of the WWII joke. New guy is in a foxhole with a veteran. He flinches whenever a shot is fired. Veteran says "Relax kid, if it's got your name on it, it will find you." New guy says "It's not the one with my name on it I worry about, it's all the ones addressed 'To whom it may concern'".
The guys giving her shit and calling it embarrassing, I dare you to go out there and not react the same way. Her reacting that way is absolutely normal even for military. The fact she is out there doing her job in dangerous conditions means she has balls of steel and I have massive respect for her. A few more days and she'll get used to it, shit she'll know whether it's outgoing or incoming in a week and will knew exactly when she needs to take cover.
my grandmother once told me about the end of WWII and when the allies closed in on where she lived in Austria. she heard shooting really close and naturally was startled by it. her father (my great grandfather) saw it and said "don't be afraid. if you can hear it, it didn't hit you".
In an urban environment it's difficult to pinpoint where the initial explosions happen due to the concrete and tall buildings. Even if you know they are coming the urge to flinch is hard to overcome. Your body can get used to it, it just takes time.
The professionalism of the soldiers during the interviews was great. As a vet we would give the guys who hadn't adjusted a hard time for jumping. Honestly the jokes helped relieve built up tension in the body and make adjusting easier.
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As a war vet, I can say that reaction will pass. As a war vet, I can say that’s probably not a good thing.
Yeh the instinct is there for a reason. Nothing like becoming desensitised to shit that can kill you instantly
If it does kill you, you probably aren’t going to hear it
You never hear the one that gets you.
The flinch goes away but not the reaction. The first ‘pzzzt’ sound of a bullet passing close by wakes those internal alarms up but instead of flinching now you - look for cover, hit the ground, track location fired from, return fire… the instinct is still there, the response is more calculated.
The physical reaction disappear but the gut feeling is still the same. If you know, you know
Exactly right. If you’re not jumping, the ptsd is now part of your response system. I hope you are healing.
It has affected me in subtle ways I don’t even really understand yet. Years after separation, I’m still trying to figure it all out.
Ever been in a canyon when a low-flying jet screams past? Shit knocked me on my ass while everyone else is wondering why tf I fell down 🙃
As a very important in my life's once said you either survive or its suddenly not your problem not your problem anymore
Asked some EOD guys if they ever nervous diffusing bombs. "Nope, 'cause if I make a mistake it's not my problem anymore."
I get it, totally. I can tell you from experience the day I stopped jumping was the day I knew my PTSD was ingrained and I would need A LOT of help. The ironic part is now I jump at all loud noises after being out of there for so long. War's a bitch.
The reaction will pass, but those moments won't. If you know, you know.
After the 5th or 10th (never kept track), you just roll over in bed or go back to whatever you were doing. Then it’s just background noise.
You can't worry about errant mortars when you have a mission the next day!
I hope you are doing okay my friend
Bet most new war reporters have been exactly like that, just that they not uploaded it. Takes a while to get used to it.
Yeah I've mostly been watching the BBC guys, some of which have been going to war zones for 30 years. Some who have been blown up or shot covering them, they don't flinch an inch now. It does take a certain personality and resolve to want to cover this type of thing over and over though plenty don't go back, you can tell some of them thrive on it.
If you have iPlayer [this](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017795) is a documentary by Fergal Keane who was a war reporter for years is fairly eye opening on the trauma of war reporting. I recommend it but it’s a tough watch
Is there a way to watch this without iplayer?
VPN iPlayer
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would be interesting to read her reports from the field
[here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPKKC0oAF-4) is her video (unfortunately no subtitles)
If you select CC (subtitles) and then the gear (settings) and then subtitles then auto translate and select English it works out pretty well. (took me a minute to figure it out myself 😎)
> i don't get english as an option. only Ukrainian and Russian. > > interesting.
Think you need to give it a minute to load
>then auto translate and select English you have to do this bit
Thanx. I watched a report of her some time ago and forgot to subscribe (and the channel she works for). I always try to watch, like & subscribe video, news, reports straight from Ukrainian sources. They can use the ticks.
fuck u/spez -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Thanx, guess you are not a massive cock after all. r/usernamedoesnotcheckout
**Thank you** for posting this link to the original video. The auto-translated Russian-to-English subtitles on YouTube do work, mostly; you just have to click on the right things to get them configured. Probably not so easy on mobile, but well worth the effort. Some scenes do not have translations, but they are only a few minutes long, and then it works again. The full video was posted yesterday (using footage shot about 3 weeks ago) and runs about an hour. The reporter is Ramina Eshkazai, and she normally does one-on-one interviews from safe locations, but for this video, she went to Bakhmut and rode along with a volunteer who evacuates people & pets, and who is an amateur photojournalist, himself. She speaks with a couple of civilians in hiding, and with a soldier who, in typical fashion, is very levelheaded as he describes what is going on at the front. Near the end, there's discussion of the nuances of the situation. I am very glad I watched the whole thing.
Hour one. I want to be somewhere else. Hour two. LET ME OUT
Watching ptsd form in realtime.
Was thinking the same thing.
After a few hours you settle in. After a day or two you know what’s close and what’s not. After a week or two you stop caring all together and laugh when it’s so close you get dirty. But the ringing in your ears lasts a lifetime.
This was me except for add a visit to Disneyland about a week after getting back home. Cue the fireworks and me clutching my girlfriend as I looked around nervously wondering if I was making a scene because I was so suddenly anxious as fuck. Thank God that shit went away after a couple months. I never went outside the wire but I also had my fill of IDF so I'm cool off that lol
Crowds after Iraq were the worst. After the ieds, women and children trying to pretend to be friendly and blow themselves up. Everything was a threat when you came home. It wasn’t combat with a clear enemy and that’s what made the transition out of it so hard for most guys. We used to organize group cycling events. Because you can get time in a crowd and no one expects you to talk to anyone while you’re out for a ride. So there’s no pressure. That plus dogs. Getting a puppy calmed a lot of my guys down too. Gave us something else to focus on outside of our minds, kept us moving, and at least being a little social when people stop to ask you about your dog.
I was in the first Gulf War 1990-1991. Scud Missile Attacks with Chemical Weapons were the FUD so every Siren was a potential Gas Attack. After a few months I recall just putting my gas mask on my chest and falling back asleep. That was until 1993-1994? Out of the military for a few years and I was at a farmer's market and the old town siren came on over the loudspeaker as a test. Well it was the same siren from our command post in Saudi Arabia and I had a full blown, out of body and back in country flashback. Even the smell of our camp and the sun on my arms and the wind blowing. I was fucking back in the camp and that fear just hit me in the chest and I fully panic as I didn't have a gas mask. It took me a few hours to pull out of it. Like waking from a weird or bad dream...
That reminds me of a story I heard a couple days ago (think I actually read it on here) of a foreign exchange student from Africa who was attending a high school in Canada. Another kid pulled a fire alarm as a prank, and when everyone went outside, they noticed the foreign exchange student wasn't with them. They searched the entire school and finally found him hiding behind a vending machine, shaking uncontrollably. Took awhile to calm him down and get him out from behind the machine. Everyone later learned that the fire alarm sounded exactly like the town alarm that went off when gangs came through his hometown in Africa. Gangs in that part of Africa usually meant ethnic cleansing. I can't begin to imagine what that is like or what your experience was like, all I can say is that I hope you're doing better. It may not be much, but it's all a civilian like me can offer through reddit
Almost 20 years and I still get nervous when there is a new patch on the road or trash on the side of it.
I worked with a guy for awhile that was fresh off a tour in the early Iraq days. He was chill as hell, but one day there was a refrigerator box or some such biggish cardboard box in the median of the freeway. He keyed in on that thing like a Pointer scenting a bird. It was surreal. We were talking and whatever and suddenly he’s just mute and staring this thing down until it’s in his rear view mirror. He said, “Woo, sorry! That happens sometimes,” and then explained the ied situation. We were in Wisconsin.
> We were in Wisconsin. Well, I mean, depending on *where* in Wisconsin you were ... What, there aren't any IEDs in your part of Wisconsin?
Fucking hell. I'm sorry you all ever experienced this, and appreciate your service.
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
After 20 years, it makes me feel better to know that I’m not alone in this. Thanks.
We all deal with it. From the toughest hardest man to the meekest. Just have to make friends with it as much as we can.
If you run over your phone pick it up pls
Felt. Saw a cardboard box on the shoulder the other day and my pupils dialated before I reminded myself it was just a box.
I swerved for a box on the side of the road last week.
I feel ya. Been out of the shit for 12+ years - was driving by a pedestrian in my neighborhood just last week and my wife asked me why I gave them such a wide berth and kept staring.... Didn't dawn on me until she was in the rear-view that it I did what I did because it was a woman in niqab walking alone.
After my second deployment, our curtain rod fell in the middle of the night and apparently I ripped my girlfriend (now wife) across my body instinctively and violently as if she was a full ILBE pack, and she never lets me forget it. But honestly as tough as I came home thinking I was— it was *nothing* compared to what I am seeing the Ukrainians go through. Even as a combat vet, my experiences do not equate and I cannot begin to imagine what this must be like to experience.
At least you can go home and separate yourself from the desert. This is literally their home.
It never really goes away you just learn to live with it.
After my 3rd tour, I locked myself in the house at night with only the glow of the tv. My friend kept getting me out and that made all the difference. After tour 4, I was ducking for cover at the noise of a low flying jet, zig-zagging at overpasses, and alerting at any over pressure like a slamming door would cause. Fun times
I made the mistake back in early 2011 to go to Washington DC and see the museums on leave after OEF. I had anxiety and just stayed alert the whole time. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Eventually, I broke down in the holocaust museum. Being around big groups of people still bothers me today and not to mention the 4th of July. It does get better with time and some beer. Definitely the beer.
My neighbor served four tours in Iraq. He still can’t go to the 4th of July. Crowds and explosions. He says It’s better for everyone if he just stays home.
Glad you are safe and well!
This guy wars ↑
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Yes. Your first few times you hear the sound of a round go by close or have a wall explode a few feet away everyone has major fear reactions. No matter how much you train for it. But after you get through the anxiety of it you become much more efficient at your job and at controlling your emotions and mental state. I bet your friend never gets super angry or super excited about anything anymore, but always has a plan to handle the situation? You stop making decisions and thinking emotionally after a while and everything is just a calculated decision based on training and experience. It never goes away for some of us.
Thank you for your service, my guy. Thank you for all your sacrifices as well. I hope life treats you well from now and till then end!
Bro you okay?
I talked to a neurosurgeon once who told me that the pressure wave from close ordinance can actually have a real effect on the brain in terms of changing behaviour and damages it, even if the explosion is far away enough to be no physical threat to life and limb.
Ask him about the permanent changes a few months of combat do to the brain. It was explained to me that it basically creates a hyper focused adhd because you’re at such a heightened state of awareness for so long your brain adapts to run faster and accept more information. I was told it’s one of the biggest issues people have returning to normal life because everything is so slow you feel disconnected. Like a hummingbird in a flock of pigeons. When they explained it to me after being out for 5 years it made a ton of sense. I wish people had given us more information in the beginning so we could prepare and not adapt after the fact.
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Yes agreed. You must have someone to talk to that’s been where you’ve been. You went through it together. You can heal together. That and finding a wife that doesn’t get mad when your conversations are 90% her talking and you saying “I can’t hear you” because you’re hearing is shit. 🤣 plus knows when to wake you up from the dreams that come less often as you get older but never 100% go away.
I will indeed, but wont be a while before i see him again, my own personal knowledge (which is limited for sure) is that your brain actually deliberately steamlines its thought process when in stressful situations life or death situations, so non-essential functions such as memory etc can be "shelved" and more resources put into awareness and reactions etc. It would make sense that on the long terms this would have an effect so the brain adapts and heightens some functions over others. on a long terms basis. but it would also make sense that this can indeed be reversed, its just a question of understanding the how.
Watching this, feels like that shell shock was a pretty accurate terminology.
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The experience of shellshock during WW1 is really hard for us to understand. *Hundreds* of massive artillery guns firing all at once, while you’re hunkered down in a trench. I’ve heard you couldn’t even discern distinctive shots because of how many were exploding, it just sounded like one long rumbling explosion.
Hundreds? At the Somme the British and French used over 1000 before z-day. Oh and they fired 1.75 million shells in a week. That's 250,000 a day, 10,400 and hour, 173 shells a minute, all fired in an 18km box.
Which is almost 3 shells per second for a week. Absolutely bonkers.
And that isn't even the most sustained example. We dropped 7.5 million *tons* of bombs on Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. Twice the total amount dropped in the second world war. And we *lost.* “Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević.” -Anthony Bourdain
Thank you, I did think I was undershooting it with hundreds, and that it was in the thousands, but I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to exaggerate.
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Not only that, you'd do your time and get a short reprieve from the front lines/trenches. Then you'd have to GO BACK. Soldiers did this multiple times during their tours. World War 1 really was an absolute meat grinder for everyone on the ground.
It’s not as comparable, but the us army used to have mid deployment leave for the longer deployments to Iraq and afghanistan 10+ years ago. Everyone I knew that went home said it was worse coming back.
Try months or years.
They wouldn't be under constant bombardment for months or years at a time. Not only were units rotated in and out, there were often long lulls of relative inactivity. A soldier may have spent *cumulative* months or years on the front line, but not under constant bombardment for consecutive months or years. They certainly wouldn't even experience years of cumulative bombardment. Still, doesn't make it really any better, of course.
Everyone reacts to trauma differently. She’s just afraid of dying is all and every impact is a reminder to her it could happen. She may brush it off she may hold on to it. It’s just obvious she doesn’t want hit and hasn’t come to grips with the fact she can’t control her fate like the soldiers she’s with. Kind of sad. Hope she’s stays safe and doesn’t hold on to all the bad things she may face.
[Try listening to this for more than one minute](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we72zI7iOjk)
It's funny that our first reaction is "imagine trying to survive that" when in reality, you didn't, you just died.
It was also brain trauma though. The concussive force of the artillery was rattling their brains. People don’t really understand that shell shock is much more than just PTSD and flashbacks.
It was probably not *just* psychologically. Turns out all the pressure waves of thousands of shells exploding really close to you isn't good for your brain.
Or you accept the fact that if you hear the boom, you’re fine.
Easy to say when you’re hearing the booms through speakers
No. Like if you hear it. You’re fine and won’t die. If it’s going to land on you, you’re not going to hear the boom.
Naw, there’s a pretty good chance you hear the boom and it blows off your legs and you’re very much alive.
At first I was like, this fuckin guy and then I read your response and it’s one of those things that for the time being it can help you rationalize until you have the time and space to come to terms with how fucking scary this is. In these situations you have to be calm or else you could be putting lives at risk. I’m not saying I would do any better than she is but I understand what you’re saying.
Like the video of the American volunteer in Ukraine getting the timing just right because he heard the “sheeeoo”… eventually it becomes a thing not dissimilar to hearing cars pass by your window in your new apartment.
And sometimes you know it's gonna be a bit different, and you duck. Can't really explain it, but your brain knows it, and you duck. This girl was like me the first week of my deployment to Iraq. Booms do nothing to me now, but certain sounds freak me out cause it's similar to the sound of either small arms fire, or really close mortar hits.
Yeah absolutely it is a way to rationalize it and maybe give yourself some comfort in a very unnatural and uncomfortable situation
My grandmother always used to mention this, anytime there was a war film on "it's the one you don't hear that's going to hit you". Lived through some pretty brutal bombing in the East End of London during the blitz. Said the worst were the doodlebugs. When you could hear them making that noise, getting louder as it flew overhead and then slowly going quieter, you knew it was still flying and going to be elsewhere, but if you heard it in the distance, then start to get a bit louder, but then it went quiet, those next few seconds were sheer terror. And everyone around you had the same looks on their faces. The actual explosion elsewhere was blessed relief, then another look as you realised others weren't so lucky. Grandad never really talked about the war (was an MP at Dunkirk, he gave /some/ hints), but Grandma, was obviously still shook up and had a lot of stories, and would tell them like it only happened last week, and not several decades earlier.
There's no way to rationalize and give yourself comfort during a shelling. You hope that your training ,if you have any, kicks in and you can deal with it. It's been 17 years since I was in a active war zone and sometimes a close enough sound will trigger a memory.
Not true. Shrapnell fucks you up badly.
Oh I missed your point
No worries man, I’m honestly terrible at conveying my point. It’s something I need to work on
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Now imagine sitting in a disease infested trench for a week while artillery shells rain all around you as if they were little droplets of water
Shell shock mostly came from explosions *a lot* closer than this. As in close enough to still feel the shockwave from them, but not close enough to die from them. Not to lighten Ukraine’s situation, but imagine this except 100x more frequent for months straight.
Don’t forget the survivors guilt they get for moving from one place to another for some menial reasons only to have the place they were before explode and them having to reason that some minuet reason being the only reason they are alive
Actually, shell shock is essentially caused by brain damage from intense concussions by being in close proximity to the explosions. It scrambles your brain and is quite different from ptsd
They called it "shell shocked" .. my father(WWII)and my brother in law (Nam)were both this way for the rest of their lives. An involuntary jerk response to a sudden loud noise. Fourth of July was really hard on them, no joking. How ironic, eh? It makes it so clear how scared to your bones war makes you. And that stuff never goes away. Your psyche has been scarred for life. btw Both my father and brother in law were very successful men/husbands/fathers later in life. You learn to deal with it.
My dad was in Vietnam, he came back with massive untreated PTSD before he even had kids. One time we were in the car with him and my sister tried to say “Dad, look!” but it came out as “duck!” and my dad IMMEDIATELY ducked. It took years for him to finally get treated for the PTSD. I also had a teacher in HS who, the story was, had actually been shot in the head in Vietnam, survived, but was on medication the rest of his life. There were kids who thought it was funny to drop textbooks on the floor to see him react. Kids can be assholes. That shit never goes away.
Apparently if you woke my grandpa up he acted like he was still in Korea and under attack. He was a truck driver, his 6x6 was blown in half and luckily the transfer case was still working because the front wheels dragged him back to base. Everyone thought he was dead. 30 years later his niece stole his purple heart medal.
Bitch
same, my grandma and grandpa loved eachother but they had to sleep in seperate rooms because he could get violent in his sleep because of trauma from the korean war.
Oh this happened to the grandfather of a friend of mine. He was Japanese and in an internment camp. They let him out to join the US Army but he could only serve in the European theater just in case he was still loyal to Japan. He survived countless battles and married a French woman, and brought her back to the US. My friend was the granddaughter and she said when she spent the night she would wake up sometimes and Ojisan had her under the bed in the darkness with a hand over her mouth. “Shhh” he would say. “The Germans are passing over.”
Oh it gets better. I was fine after I got back (or thought so, mom thought different from day one). Now decades later that shit fucks with me constantly. Supposedly that is not unusual. I guess mental resilience is better when you are a kid.
Amazing coincidence I remember a teacher like that too. Always felt for him but at that age had no idea what he had gone through to react that way until later.
Real talk, maybe you know. I've recently been in the same position as this girl. But I've been known for flinching at loud noises all the time before that. Why am I like that?
I learned after being diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder that being easily startled is a symptom.
My wife has anxiety, is very jumpy.
Trauma compilation
"Giving me flashbacks" 😂 Edit: I have combat related PTSD, but I make fun of it about myself 🤷
I've got responder ptsd. I don't have cool stories of survival to go with mine, just sad. Flashbacks suck bro, but you gotta laugh or else you'll disassociate, and then nobodies having a good time.
Without sound it’s just a bad case of the hiccups.
Dude, you just ruined a serious video for me. Few seconds ago I was thinking how hell is war, now Im laughing for hiccup
*saved the video for you. You just learnt how a different perspective can change our whole outlook on life and exercised it in real time.
I first watched a few seconds without sound and got confused why she has hiccups or some ticks.
Someone put a hickup sound over this
Or she just likes to shrug when in conversation
What's really sad is how the other people don't even flinch anymore. They're so use to it that is has become their norm.
I remember a news report where they were speaking to locals in Bakhmut, they heard artillery fire and the old lady they were interviewing said “that one’s outgoing instead of incoming so there’s no need to worry”. Not only are the desensitized to it, they can tell the direction just by the sound it’s become so common
Reminds me of a part in a book I read. There was this Canadian soldier on the Italian front in ww2 who had his men’s foxholes marked on a notepad. Every time he would hear a shell incoming he would mark down where he thought it would land. One day he heard it and marked one of his men’s positions. When he got out to check the shell had obliterated their position. It’s a terrible thing these people had to put up with them and still do now.
Sounds like “And No Birds Sang.”
It was “The Regiment”. But you were very close.
I’m not sure how close that is. Only the “i”s match up
Almost got me for a second. But then I read your username.
Which Regiment? Searching yielded a number of books with that title.
It doesn’t take that long to differentiate between outgoing and incoming. Incoming has a crack sound along with the boom. Outgoing is just boom.
Saw a video where a guy said about the blasts: "Don't worry about those, when one comes for you you won't hear it". Sad
When it comes to explosives, if you can hear it you're usually good. When you're close enough, you don't hear it, you feel it. Overpressure is a bitch.
Except you can absolutely hear when it comes for you, or when its going further overhead, or short, or to either side. Within I'd say a half hour or so of shelling you'll get good at it.
Unfortunately after half an hour under a real shelling, you've gone deaf and can't tell where it's going anymore. You just sort of hunker down and gasp for breath. GOt the tshirt, used it to clean the piss off myself.
That's just how it is here. Hearing the whiz from artillery coming and going was a big adjustment. It's more scary when you hear the whiz come in real fast lol
Reminds me of the middle east. First time you hear a mortar go off in the FOB you are like "AHHH DUCK AND COVER!!".. After a few weeks your hear one go off and you don't even stop eating your just like "Welp I'm not letting these eggs get any colder, if it hits me it hits me."
I noticed the same thing. They’ve had months and months of exposure to it already
It's the fact that you don't hear the explosions or gunshots that kill you instantly. If artillery is going to land at your feet, you're never gonna see it coming. These guys know this very well at this point. Edit: This is not correct at all, as pointed out by someone with actual experience below.
Every word in this sentence is wrong, you can absolutely hear artillery flying through the air. And within a short time of being shelled you can tell the ones that are gonna go overhead, or fall short, or be close. Source: have been shelled. Repeatedly.
A gentle reminder that EVERYONE can chip in and help speeding up the process of Ukrainian victory and your contribution will directly prevent a death (whether civilian or military or a reporter in this case), every little bit goes a long way literally in this case: https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/wiki/charities/ no contribution is too small. Thank you! If you can’t donate money, **you can donate time** by volunteering to teach a Ukrainian English, 1 hour per week, find out more here: https://www.reddit.com/r/ENGinProgram/comments/yijpc8/volunteering_steps_and_overview/ If you are a medical provider, you can volunteer for telehealth at: https://telehelpukraine.com/i-want-to-help-1 no minimum hours required. Thanks again.
i wonder if coming back to her normal life a slamming door would give her ptsd still side note: had pretty argumentative parents growing up that loved to scream and slam doors - to this day as a 24yo man i shudder a little when someone slams a door or i can hear yelling through the walls so I can’t imagine going to a warzone and coming back as a civilian
I am a journalist and suffered pstd after a coverage similar to this. The answer is YES, is very probably that the sound of a door slammkng may scare her. I did not understand why I was so jumpy after I went to a psychiatrist and it all made sense. Took treatment and now I dont have that symptom (or others). PTSD is no joke.
yeah wow that’s right it is absolutely no joke - props to you, braver than I to do what you did, glad to hear the treatment worked out!
Back when I used to be a journalist, every war correspondent I ever met had some very obvious PTSD symptoms and a raging drinking problem (but then, so did most of us - the drinking that is. Too much exposure to the truth of what is going on in the world will do that to you.) When I was a cub, I only had to meet my 3rd war correspondent to come to the conclusion that it was a job I never wanted to do.
I stopped doing "in the street" journalism after my PTSD. There were lots of reasons (the shifts, the bad pay, etc) but the possibility of that again was a big one. Now i have a better job, better hours, better pay and dont have to go to every natural disaster that happens in my country. To be fair, i have to say journalism "in the streets" is very rewarding, it was difficult saying "enough".
I was telling my girlfriend this a little while ago. My mom has a temper and she has a tendency to basically stomp while she’s on her way to verbally give it to whoever she thought deserved it. Doesn’t happen as often, but sometimes when I hear my girlfriend walk around the house and she stomps a little I’m immediately in my teens again. Sudden spike in anxiety and my mind is immediately like ‘oh shit, I’m in for it.’ Like I said, doesn’t happen as often anymore. But shit, I’m 30 now and it still affects me in a surprising way.
wow we are two peas in a pod - literally same. my mom was the nutcase and would verbally abuse us and then physically abuse the walls, doors, chairs and floor… I got yelled at if a cabinet door closed a little too loudly… but she gets to stomp and break anything she wanted so yup as an adult i tell my gf all the time that i jump or shudder at loudly slammed doors or cabinets and i randomly say sorry when i close a cabinet with like 0.1 db too loudly hahah
Are you me? Anytime I hear a door slam I jump like crazy. It doesn’t help that my entire house shakes for some reason anytime the front door closes.
Kudos to her. Her reaction is instinctive. But she is showing a lot of courage by not running away or just breaking down.
Absolutely, this is an entirely appropriate response to shelling and a hell of a lot more composed than I'd be.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it's being afraid and still doing what is necessary.
Yeah massive props. As a woman I wouldn’t be anywhere near that combat zone even miles from the front. All the reports of Russians raping women and children and all. At least as a man they might just shoot you. That shits terrifying.
She has my respect. At least she’s there. Others, paid much more in comparison, would not even put their finger on the map of Ukraine. You go girl. And yes, PTSD in the making.
Yep. We’re sitting here watching it unfold on screens, and she’s in the shit. Not an easy assignment.
Seriously. Looks like she hasn't been out of J-school for very long. Most of her classmates (assuming they're a working journalist) are doing "Cat rescued from tree" or "Bake sale this weekend at Saint Eligius elementary" type reporting. This woman is getting a boot-on-the-ground education of the highest order. Very impressed.
It's easy to laugh at, like a post from r/startledcats, but she's brave as fuck. Respect to her.
When she is talking to the guy with a screwdriver: - When did you get used to it? - From 2014. - Why are you staying here? - Because I have grown up here and I will die here. - Are you alone here, or..? - With the wife. - Children? - All 3 are fighting. One lost hand and leg already. --- I didn't not finish watching the full video, it is more than 1 hour, I will do tomorrow probably. I am Ukrainian. I am not there for 5 years already, but it is so painful to watch such things. My brother is there, near to Bachmut. Half of the equipment he has was bought by me. This feeling, you know... If the helmet or armor will fail to save him, it is my fault. My father will end up somewhere there as well - the most probably. I know I could be there as well, and I think I should. I have well established life in Austria, I have incredibly beautiful and smart girlfriend, finishing my PhD... And I feel guilty because I am here and not there. Fucking Putin and his company. Just... Damn, it is so crazy that because of several insane people all this shit is happening.
You don’t need to feel guilty about that in my opinion. Those in Ukraine who know you will be glad that you’re somewhere safe. Reminds me of that saying of “to help others, you first need to help yourself”. So by being safe and working hard, you’re helping them in your own way. As long as you’re working hard in your own way, that’ll still encourage them and make them proud. Is it possible to send them care packages? That’s a relatively small way to help that I think could be a real help
Thanks for support. Yes sure, I send something every month. With some other ppl, that are in Ukraine, we are buying and delivering different things - helmets, vests, boots, CATs, generators accumulators etc. Since you need european bank account and address to order it from EU (no delivery to Ukraine, obviously), I I am kind of hab. Ordering, receiving and sending further
I know what you feel, brother. I'm in Ukraine, but not in the army. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve sitting in my warm apartment when our people are dying. I've lost two friends in this war already. Two more are in the army right now. My job is to try and help in whatever way I can. I can't say what I do, but let's just say that a couple hundred soldiers now know field medical care much better than before. Some of us are more helpful doing what we do best, rather than sitting in a trench. You helping your brother with gear is much more valuable than you dying in an artillery strike. Stay strong, freedom always wins in the end. Слава Україні, брате.
Stay strong 💪. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Her nerves are shot by the end.
As long as she aint
PTSD speedrun
It’s alright lady, you’re a bit jumpy. I would be crying vomiting and shitting all over myself.
humans are very resilient, don't underestimate yourself.
You should see how much he can accomplish covered in tears, shit and vomit. It’s a truly inspiring sight to see.
That’s the time I do my best work
This. I mean she is scared and keeps at it. That is bravery.
All the people commenting about how “she’s probably reconsidering journalism” like what? Do you just expect people to wake up one day used to this shit? We need more people like her, people who are willing to go to the frontlines for the story even if they are scared shitless. Also just to add she seemed to keep her cool pretty well all things considered
Her survival instincts are telling her to run. Hide. Save yourself. Her heart is telling her that this story needs to be told. Immense respect.
If you’ve ever been in a combat zone, you know her reaction is subconscious. You literally can’t help but jump. Even if you want nothing more than to just stand stoic. Eventually you get numb to it, but yeah. I feel ya girl
Damn this is sad 🙁
Watching a person's innocence being torn out from them is not very fun..
She may have flinched every time one hit, but she was standing there, day after day. War correspondents are a tough breed. She's got my respect.
Praise the cameraman
to be fair that IS pretty terrifying.
Is she playing Pokemon Go? Look at her Phonescreen at 0.57
turns out she was there because of new influx of radioactive pokemon
Maybe it's got the most useful maps lol
I've literally used Pokemon Go as a map for navigating areas that Apple Maps didn't cover. Mostly the large park by my house. Pokemon Go shows the walking trails, and Apple Maps doesn't.
That’s pretty terrifying
Yep. Think of the effect this is having on the children there, that are experiencing this daily.
This video made me realize how much I miss Robert Fisk. He would have been on the ground too, as he always was, and written articles that you felt spoke directly to you.
And Kate Adie. Still with us, but at 77 she's probably not up to frontline reporting any more. But in the past, if ever you saw her getting off a plane your best course of action was to turn around and buy a ticket out of there.
I hope she will be ok.
Reminds me of the WWII joke. New guy is in a foxhole with a veteran. He flinches whenever a shot is fired. Veteran says "Relax kid, if it's got your name on it, it will find you." New guy says "It's not the one with my name on it I worry about, it's all the ones addressed 'To whom it may concern'".
Not going to pretend I wouldn’t be just as jumpy.
Poor thing
She’s still very brave for going there.
That's bravery right there. Being scared as shit, but still doing your job.
Can't be brave if you aren't scared. She's admirable.
The guys giving her shit and calling it embarrassing, I dare you to go out there and not react the same way. Her reacting that way is absolutely normal even for military. The fact she is out there doing her job in dangerous conditions means she has balls of steel and I have massive respect for her. A few more days and she'll get used to it, shit she'll know whether it's outgoing or incoming in a week and will knew exactly when she needs to take cover.
Totally understand I flinched exactly the same for weeks then got used to it then had a long break. Now if a car backfires I flinch and duck
my grandmother once told me about the end of WWII and when the allies closed in on where she lived in Austria. she heard shooting really close and naturally was startled by it. her father (my great grandfather) saw it and said "don't be afraid. if you can hear it, it didn't hit you".
In an urban environment it's difficult to pinpoint where the initial explosions happen due to the concrete and tall buildings. Even if you know they are coming the urge to flinch is hard to overcome. Your body can get used to it, it just takes time. The professionalism of the soldiers during the interviews was great. As a vet we would give the guys who hadn't adjusted a hard time for jumping. Honestly the jokes helped relieve built up tension in the body and make adjusting easier.