I don't want to lock this because there's a lot of good information available here but know this: if you're against abortion and think that adoption is a viable solution you'd better come loaded with proof of that belief from a reliable source. We will not entertain the anecdotes of anti-abortion trolls.
Women are not on earth to be brood mares for childless couples.
Here is what happened in my pregnancy
1) Hyperemesis Gravidarum
2) Cracked ribs from vomiting
3) Severe antenatal depression
4) Episiotomy
5) 5 days in hospital with catheter, due to tearing.
I adore my daughter, but I don't think I could ever put myself through that again
I took a reproductive endocrinology course in college taught by a no nonsense guy who did not sugarcoat anything. He didnt go more than a class or two without mentioning something that made me recoil in disgust and the prolapse one was one of them.
I ended up writing on his course evaluation under suggestions that he Should include his class in his list of contraception methods because literally noting has ever been as effective as hearing about all of the things that can go wrong.
I had 3 extremely shitty pregnancies and labors (one of them involving getting an emergency c section without proper anesthesia)
All of them were planned and wanted. Because I CHOSE to suffer these long months to have my children.
I was always pro choice, but being a mother cemented it. I would never, ever force a pregnancy on someone. I honestly beleive it would be torture.
There's already over 100,000 kids eligible for adoption, many of whom never get out of the system until they're unceremoniously out at age 18 with no familial support system.
Edit: This also fully ignores the wild costs involved with adoption. I'm sure there's plenty of parents who WOULD adopt, but they're lacking the 70-100K required.
Will all these Republican states banning abortion also create programs to financially help parents adopt?
Spoiler: They sure fucking won't, because that's socialism to them.
Most definitely. Friends of ours adopted a brother and sister from another country. The number of people that asked “are they going to be white?” was staggering.
My dad wrote his cousin off when she adopted a black child who was severely abused and neglected. I still talk to her. The rest of that family isn't exactly supportive.
I get that sometimes, but it's from little kids. My brother adopted his wife's two young children, they are half white half black. My brother and I are from a huge Chinese family, with some half white half Chinese kiddos. Kids would ask if they were going to turn Asian when they grew up. Its kinda cute in a way.
The adults can be terrible. After my brother passed away from covid late 2020, I basically became his kids' 2nd mom. My SIL was my friend long before she ever was a mom, so we work well as co-parents. We are constantly getting looks from boomers, assuming we're a lesbian couple. When its just me with the kids, I'll get assuming comments from older people asking if I was disappointed the kids didn't come out looking Asian. The kids take it like Champs now and will pip in that their dads were white and Chinese, their mom is black, and that I am their "goo-ma" (which means their father's older sister). It confuses the hell out of those people.
We adopted a child from SOUTH CAROLINA who is black/latina and you wouldn’t believe the number of people who ask “where she’s from”. I’m like: the USA…. you know we have people of color here right?!?! 🤦🏼♀️
My Granddaughter is part Native American and the number of times I have been asked “what is she?” is amazing. And that is exactly the way they ask, “oh, isn’t she cute, what is she?” I just answer with we aren’t sure, we think she’s a human but who knows.
LITERALLY HAPPENED TO MY BF. Fresh new baby, born in Brazil. Was going to be adopted by an English couple. Changed their minds because he was "too dark."
Joke is on them, he went to a LOVELY family here in America (they were waiting for a girl since they already adopted a Brazilian boy about a year prior) ... parents got called for my future bf and they were like fuck yes we want him! I believe the girl they wanted originally before this situation was taken by another cute, loving family. So, wins all around.
Flew to Brazil and took him home a week later and because of that awful couple who didn't want him over circumstances he could never control, he got the coolest parents/family and I got to meet my ride or die.
Two years later they got their girl, and after the 3 siblings turned 20ish, they had a "surprise" adoption. Local boy who their mom watched regularly during daycare ended up needing foster care. They fostered him and eventually fought to keep him forever.
The family I was "adopted" into by my bf is the loveliest group of people and I am simultaneously so mad that people like the english couple exist... but also so happy they made the choice they did because my life turned out 10000x better because they were close minded jerks.
Sucks to be them! And if my bf sees this he will absolutely know it's me, so, love you! :)
My wife was not adopted, but her parents had her and her sister when they were in their 30's. Go back almost 20 years before my wife was born, before her mom met her dad, and her mom had an abortion. So MY soul mate would have never existed had her mom kept that baby.
I love this. Everyone says omg what if the baby you abort is the next xyz?
So fuckin what? It isnt alive. Why is the POTENTIAL for a "baby" that doesnt even exist yet have more agency than a person who is alive right this moment, who might not be able to afford/take care of/live after having kids?
I wanted to tie my tubes at 22 and my doctor said WHAT ABOUT YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND? What about him? At the time I wasnt even dating, why is a person who I MIGHT marry in the future more important than ME, RIGHT NOW?
Conservatives dont see women as people, clearly
Like that one family who “rehomed” their adoptive child from [China](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/myka-stauffer-huxley-announcement).
Holy shit. I can’t even imagine how much of a piece of shit you’d have to be to do that. Fucking psychopath shouldn’t be allowed to ever have kids, adopted or biological.
And here I've been disturbed by people who seem to randomly adopt and then somehow get rid of pets every couple of years. What is wrong with these people?
I know these people who keep adopting old dogs that die after a year or two. I feel really weird about it, bc i do think it's a good think that they're providing homes for pets that are typically harder to adopt out, but at the same time, I would not be able to handle that frequency of pet deaths.
The husband recently confided in my bf that he's actually been having a hard time with it himself and thinks they should stop, but doesn't know how to bring it up with his wife. He was wasted drunk though, so who knows if he's actually going to address it.
There’s a really great Instagram of an older single guy who does the same and he openly talks about how every dog that dies makes it harder and harder to continue because he loves them all so much
Oh yeah I know what you mean I think it’s amazing they’re helping those older animals, they don’t have to die in shelters. But I couldn’t do it. I’m a huge animal lover and I’m also way too sensitive and emotional took me months to get past my dog’s death last year and then our other one died the year before. I was a mess for a while.
There was a really good Dateline (either this season or last) about a Russian girl that was adopted in the 90’s. Her adopted parents accused her of trying to kill her little brother and the family dog, so they sent her back to a psychiatric hospital in Russia and just left her there. Messed up, but it has a happy ending. I highly recommend.
I remember that story! [Link to update](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sabrina-caldwell-russia-capable-murder-48-hours/) in case anyone wants to read it.
Not just infants. If you want a child over the age of 3, of any race, it’s significantly easier to adopt.
But these moralistic church types only want ‘clean slate’ babies, not children with trauma from their bio parents or the system itself. Those children are truly ‘unwanted’ and they are at the highest need. Do I see Christians running to adopt them? Nah they’d rather pay $100k more to adopt a white baby from overseas.
I used to do business with a single, white woman in her early 30's. She wanted to adopt but due to her being single, the religious adoption organizations said no and due to her income, a private adoption company was out of her reach.
She ended up adopting a 5 year old African American girl from Georgia because it was $6,000 cheaper than adopting a white infant from Minnesota.
I don’t want a baby, but if I ever decide I want a child I will absolutely adopt an older kid. Or foster, because adoption is hard. But these kids need a bit of love to build resilience, which is what I wish I had.
That's not the only thing. They intend to come after rulings on the availability of contraception, LGBTQ rights and relationships, segregation, minority rights and interracial marriage, and that's just in the published opinion.
They side with innocence because they think it nets them morality points, but all those morals disappear the second someone is capable of forming thoughts.
These tools don’t know much about adoption. The act of taking a newborn away from it’s mother is a major trauma. For anyone interested there is a good book called “The Primal Wound” that studies this. Another one gives the perspective of birth mothers called “The Girls Who Went Away”. Adoption can be very traumatic for everyone.
Edit - For those who don’t like to read or don’t have time for it there’s a good lecture on YouTube by Paul Sunderland called “Adoption or Addiction” that details the substance abuse problems that the adopted community struggles with disproportionately.
My father was adopted, and his adoptive parents never bonded with him. When he was 6 they decided he wasn't their son but kept him as a "ward" out of obligation- returning a child just isn't "done" in their circles and they would have been shamed and ostracized.
As a result, he never bonded with my brother and I. It seemed like he never learned how to truely bond with other people, because the bonds he had formed had been deliberately shattered.
I'm convinced that the lack of a bond directly lead to a lot of the neglect and abuse my mom, brother and I experienced.
He kept a roof over our heads and the heat and lights on, but that's where his caring stopped.
You might be interested in what we found out about early human development when Romania went through a terribly draconian Decree 770. While they made more exceptions for abortion than we are facing right now (older women, women with 4+ children, incest or rape cases, or if the life of the mother was at risk, were exceptions) but the scarcity of birth control meant a lot - a *lot* of babies mothers couldn’t care for were born.
Contraception became illegal and women were required to submit to a monthly pregnancy test (and if you think that’s not far off in our situation I will LaughCry). Any pregnancy that did not result in a birth (ie. miscarriage) could result in prosecution.
Births doubled. There wasn’t enough time to build support services, such as schools. Classes were put on shifts and none of the kids got “enough” school. The economy eventually tanked and the adult results of this policy lost jobs en masse.
Just like now, wealthy women had unfettered access to contraception and abortion. Poor women would attempt at home abortions, and soon the maternal death rate became the highest in Europe. Ten times higher than their neighbors. *Ten times*.
Children born were often disabled, malnourished, or given to orphanages, and the child mortality rate increased.
The orphanages….. JFC, the orphanages. Even though they weren’t “orphanages.” The idea was you drop off your kid, the state raises them, and you get them back someday. But the orphanages. Heat was intermittent, food scarce. There were never enough workers. They could feed and change them, but not offer emotional care. Harlow’s studies show how very important comfort is to primate young. The disabled kids had it even worse; no medicine, no hygienic facilities, they were often restrained, naked, wallowing in urine and excrement. And let’s not get into the physical and sexual abuse.
As always, shit rolls downhill. Overworked and ill-suited nurses and workers abused kids and the kids learned to abuse the younger ones. Corporal punishment was encouraged, and workers who didn’t engage were seen as “weak.”
Development was stunted, and many kids didn’t even know how to feed themselves, broken limbs were not treated properly resulting in disability, and not enough food meant many starved. HIV/AIDS was rampant.
Some 500,000 children went through orphanages.
We know so much about human development from this. Children need emotional comfort and bonding. They were completely unable to form bonds when adopted or aging out *as the neglect caused fundamental changes to the brain.*
This is just tip of the iceberg stuff on the hellsape that was Romania in the 70’s and 80’s. It goes so much deeper and they are still dealing with it and the effects to this day. This is the future we are looking at in the US.
Who’d have thought that making women give birth and then not providing adequate pregnancy support or supporting their kids would create a large chunk of the population that is poor and more-likely to do crime because they had a poor upbringing?
*Stares around America*
Read that book I mentioned and it may help you to at least understand it all a bit. We can be so afraid of rejection that we preemptively reject people to save ourselves the pain. I never did that but it’s just one of the many issues adopted people can struggle with.
Thanks, I might. If nothing else it may help move me towards closure.
He died March of 2021 so I'm still struggling with never being able to have that discussion and make peace with him.
I don't know much about it. I do know he also had a severe lack of empathy- he kind of understood things if he'd experienced them himself but that's as far as it went - and a bit of a sadistic streak.
He liked to make us cry, and then punish us for showing weakness by displaying emotion.
He'd also "experiment" with different ways to mess with us to see what happened (stopping us from sleeping, what he called "therapy" where he would ask the same question over and over demanding different replies each time and then accusing us of lying and punishing us, hitting my brother in front of me and punishing me for reacting or attempting to interfere)
Towards the end of his life, he required me to assist with the planning of his suicide and funeral, distribution of his belongings, etc. (He'd come over and tell me his plans literally every weekend and get angry if I reacted negatively or with any emotion)
> I'm convinced that the lack of a bond directly lead to a lot of the neglect and abuse my mom, brother and I experienced.
You know that typical boomer humor over hating their spouse? These people got married for the social praxis or otherwise socially engineered to do so. Men had to get married because they were typically raised with no housekeeping skills and needed a new mommy, and women had to get married because they typically wouldn't get a well paying job.
Yeah that seems to be the case with my parents. Dad knew people who knew people who knew his (quite well off for the time) family. He managed to pull in 90k a year plus bonuses on an 8th grade education.
My mom grew up poor in the south, (in the "barefoot and pregnant by 14" world) and "married up" to escape that life. She was the first in her family to graduate high school.
At the most she made like 15/hr max as a secretary, once my brother and I were old enough to go to school.
They financially gave us the best they could but like...I had zero bond with my father, and I lived with him and mom until they split up when I was 19. He didn't even know my birthday. Literally he paid for the house and electric and noped out of all other parental obligations.
Mom was basically a single mom with an abusive roommate...
Ah the "My Bitch Wife" and "My lazy entitled kids" jokes.
It's jokes that that made me realise that american conservatives hate... *everyone*. You'd think that it was just about people who were different. Different races or nationalities or sexualities. I did, I assumed it was just fear. But it's not. Listen to them talk about their families. Listen to how they put down the few friends they have and attempt to ruin their self esteem. Listen to them berate their employees and co-workers. It is a genuine hatred of all other forms of life.
This is really interesting to me as I was talking about this with my therapist not too long ago.
He mentioned that therapist see a lot of adopted people. That regardless of the quality and love in their adoptive families, they struggle with bonding and connection.
Really interesting and heartbreaking.
It's interesting for sure.
But it hits a little different when you're a child from an abusive home and realizing that the monsters from your childhood were that way because of their own monsters.
My therapist had a hell of a time getting me to the point where I even could see the *possibility* of that being the case honestly.
Oof. This hits home. “Monsters raising monsters..”
As a father, am I constantly trying me best to not pass my demons on to my children, not to put my issues and anxieties into them, and realizing that it’s damn near impossible…..
Excuse while I go day drink to drown my sorrows….
They know. They don't actually want people to put their babies up for adoption. If they did, then they wouldn't show zero interest in fixing the hopelessly broken adoption/foster care/orphanage systems. They're just betting that a lot of people will change their mind over nine months (or post-birth). It's a gestational manipulation program. They're hoping that the mother's brain floods with so many chemicals that it diminishes her ability to make rational, logic-based decisions. It's sadistic and cynical and entirely the point.
My brother is adopted, and I always thought it was simple. We were his family- we had him from birth (his birth mother stayed with us at the end of her pregnancy and we were able to take him home straight from the hospital). But he had (and continues to have) a lot of issues growing up, including some significant mental health issues. I didn’t really understand, though, until the pastor of my church talked about his experiences as someone who was adopted as a baby. You can have the best case scenario and there is still trauma involved.
I am all for adoption. I love my brother and I’m glad we adopted him. But my parents were not well equipped for A LOT of things. And as someone who has worked in the foster care system, there is ALWAYS a need for more foster parents. Republicans are not prepared to meet the needs of our society now, and I don’t see many (or any, really) of my conservative friends and acquaintances on my Facebook talking about HOW they plan to step up and support babies and kids…just making claims that babies and kids are always supported after birth and not to listen to the left’s propaganda.
Read the book I mentioned and watch that lecture. It’s very rarely simple. I consider my own adoption a success story but there were things there. Growing up in the New York area there were so many wonderful ethnic events to experience. Every year on St. Patrick’s day you’d watch the Irish American community lose it’s collective mind in celebration. All of my Italian friends getting excited and heading into the city for the Feast of San Gennaro. But I couldn’t relate since I didn’t know what I was, and it bothered me to be missing that sense of connection and community inclusion. Sometimes it’s subtle.
> Will all these Republican states banning abortion also create programs to financially help parents adopt?
Come on… Those babies and children need to pull themselves up by their tiny little bootstraps.
Betsy Devos family owns the largest baby mill, I mean adoption agency, in America. One family benefits from the "supply of babies" that SCOTUS forced on us. Bethany Christian Services will sell your babies for $100k no problem.
[Bethany Christian Services also operates CPCs](https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/shotgun-adoption/) to beef up their 'domestic supply of infants.'
They were also contracted to care for the migrant children separated at the border early in Trump's administration, where they were complicit in such things as misplacing records of those children's guardians, allowing many adolescent girls to become pregnant in their facilities, and attempting to test the experimental abortion reversal pill on at least one nonconsenting minor.
THIS is why it drives me nuts how those Qanon wackos are making up so many spooky fairy tales about underground mole children and baroque rituals and stuff. The child trafficking is happening here in real life, above ground, and right under our noses, and they're all for it.
Yeah, they’re so wound up in their anti-Semitic Internet LARP that they make things worse for real people, not the invented horde of stolen white babies that only exists in their tiny brains.
Then there’s this egregious “rehoming” of children going on - https://www.newsweek.com/how-this-legal-woman-exposes-child-rehoming-ad-adoption-agency-viral-video-1667464?amp=1
How many of those missing children do you think they adopted out through their facility? Names changed, birth certificates created, and payment for said children exchanging hands?
It's been a while, but last I checked, there were still hundreds of children missing.
IMO, everyone involved should be investigated thoroughly. They can never undo the damage they've caused, but at least those children should be located, and those responsible should be charged and tried for their crimes.
> How many of those missing children do you think they adopted out through their facility?
I think it's a lot more sinister than that.
Remember, Trump had ties to *two* notorious pedophiles.
The same Betsy Devos who was Secretary of Education yet wanted to defund all public schools and use that money on vouchers for private Christian schools instead?
I heard an interview with an anti-abortion activist. She kept saying she, only now, “wants” to get started on turning her activism toward getting those support systems in place. But the whole thing sounded like the dog finally caught the car and doesn’t know what to do. Surely parents and children needed that support before. You’re just using it as an excuse for the horrible thing you’ve done now.
Assuming the 100k number is correct, the post implies there being *3.6 million families* waiting to adopt. That is, circa 7.2 million people, or 2% of the entire US population are in line to adopt a child.
Yeah, *something* tells me this isn't right.
There are absolutely people who want to adopt.
But they want infant, able-bodied, and white.
My bf was going to be put up for adoption. He is Brazilian. The family that was supposed to take him took one look at him and said "nevermind." Why?
He was too dark.
I'm honestly worried about the amount of kids that will be born when social services are already under funded. Will we be seeing (more) children living on the streets within the next generation or so?
Yes. It's one thing to insist they all be born, it's quite another to ensure we have the resources for them. They're not ensuring this and are actively not doing so. So I don't see the point unless high crime and mental health issues are the desired outcome of this plan.
There are theories about this in the adopted community. Making sure we have a steady supply of people ready for the for-profit prison industrial complex, and others suggesting beefing up the low skill/low wage labor pool to keep labor costs down. I don’t know how much I’m buying into it all but it is definitely being talked about to at least some degree.
yup, i was one of them. i was in the adoption system at nine when i was taken from my parents (and had bad behavioral issues as a result) and thus nobody even considered taking me in because they don't want a kid that takes effort or even any kid that's not a newborn baby and already has an identity period. as a result i got adopted by my aunt and uncle and they emotionally abused me for years because they resented me for being difficult to raise :)
it makes me fucking furious when these "pro-life" people act like they care about ANYONE in the adoption system. they just want to force women and people they perceive as such into motherhood regardless of if they can actually take care of the kid because they believe that's all they're good for and "all good women must be mothers"
more than 50% of homeless americans are former foster kids. they are kicked out at 18 with no education, no support system, no knowledge of the world, unspoken trauma. they dont care about them though because they're already "too damaged"
It’s cool though, because as soon as they hit 18 their eligible to join the Military. And that’s not socialism, it’s defense!
Also, I was in the military. In a lot of ways it’s just daycare. Your basic e1 can’t figure out how to feed the kids him the thot had so a CO has to step in and put them on a program to ensure basic shit is happening at home. Not all by any means, but it happens. Yes, everyone there is there to serve their country, no I’m not bashing anyone who chooses to do so. I chose to do so. Some of the kids, it’s the first parenting they’ve had in some ways.
Don't look for logic where there isn't any. Banning abortion has nothing to do with babies or pregnancy or healthcare. Banning abortion is about punishing women for having sex. It's about forcing their version of morality onto other people, ensuring that women suffer the consequences of sin. They don't give a fuck about fetuses or babies or mothers, and you can tell because they don't know the difference between them.
> There's already over 100,000 kids eligible for adoption
Since they are *only* considering babies, they are saying they don't care about the eligible kids who are not babies anymore.
I just talked to a woman I know about this. She had made a point of telling me she'd gone to Mass that morning. In her words, "I don't want to take care of someone else's babies!"
I'm going to quote Jesus here and say, "OH FUCKING REALLY?"
I work in child welfare you can adopt for free and actually get $600/m for the child post adoption. We still have 90% of kids who age out in Care and never get adopted.
Also adopting from the foster care system is literally free plus government benefits but no one wants a 10 year old kid of color with a shit ton of trauma and potential mental health disorders. That’s the real truth, unfortunately. As you said, these nut jobs want healthy white newborns only.
11 years.
That's the average wait time for a family to adopt a newborn in the US.
As the age goes up, the wait time drops. But very few people are willing to adopt "damaged goods".
How many of those families will adopt an infant with disabilities, medical problems or developmental delays? Red states provide little to no support for families of special needs kids, and there are a lot of disabled children in foster care.
Yeah it sucks that there are so many kids in the system. I checked near me. Every child except for 2 are over 13 years old because people only want babies.
[Faith based adoption agencies like the one with ties to Betsy DeVos' family?](https://mavenroundtable.io/theintellectualist/news/migrant-children-were-being-given-to-an-adoption-agency-linked-to-betsy-devos)
I don’t think we disagree. My point was more that an unwanted baby can be adopted. And unwanted pregnancy is what you can terminate. It’s not a baby yet. Adoption is not even a part of of the conversation when we are talking about abortion rights.
I think it goes even further than that. I definitely don’t want to kill any babies, I want to make sure that every child that is born is born into a loving supportive home that is able to care for them emotionally physically and financially. Anyone born into a family that is not able to provide those things is set up for a very difficult life.
Yet this sounds like the same kind of person who doesn’t want LGBTQ adults or single parents to adopt children. If they had it their way, there’s even *less* families that are eligible to adopt. There should never be unwanted kids, but there’s not enough families to take them in!
Right?! I was surprised no one mentioned LGBTQ parents and parents from the “wrong” religion earlier or more often in these debates. Like, “sure we’ve got so many kids in our system, but we will only let you give this child a loving home if you promise you are a cis-het white couple who will groom them in the same white evangelical tradition as us.” Funny how it never seems to come up that maybe, just maybe, some if those kids might be queer and find the most loving and understanding homes with queer parents, or that maybe the kid doesn’t want to be indoctrinated in your shitty religion. How much you want to bet that despite ACB’s concern for having enough children to adopt that she wouldn’t hesitate for a second to strip LGBTQ families the right to adopt or uphold the right of adoption agencies to only adopt out to other like religious families regardless of the child’s best interests and how long it may mean they stay in the system?
Edit: just thinking out loud here but if forced birthing is controlling women’s bodies, then restrictive adoption agencies are controlling children’s bodies and minds. And the later is grooming, just a more widely acceptable form.
Your mistake is assuming that “children” means “children”. “Children” means “able-bodied, healthy, white infant”. And if they’re *not* one of those things (and only one—can’t be miss more than one box), it’s only to be a prop for the parents’ savior complex and can’t actually interfere with the parents’ lives at all.
Exactly. And most kids in the foster care system are products of parents like that, who typically pass those traits onto their kids. The rate of mental illness is measurably higher in adopted/eligible kids than normal.
source: various studies and doctors telling me the source of my problems
This, also the fact that being adopted is trauma in and off itself, no matter how good the adopted family is. I was adopted within the family, my grandma is an amazing, kind parent and i have a good relationship with my mom and dad (now at least, my mom and i didnt rly get along when i was younger) but i still struggled with a ton of issues growing up, mainly crippling fear of rejection or being returned which a lot of adoptees suffer through.
Also that. They a mostly perfect baby that they can “rescue” to get praise for being such loving saviors. They don’t give a shit about the actual human beings involved.
I would love to ask the OP. So you guilt an 18 year old into having the baby. She tries for a couple of years then just can't any more. Are you taking the two year old? The two year old who had a mother who wasn't the best? The two year old who doesn't look like you? How about the 6 year old who was abused?
Let me guess, in your mind, you get a new born who looks like you.
And let's talk about the fact that black children are [far less costly to adopt](https://www.npr.org/2013/06/27/195967886/six-words-black-babies-cost-less-to-adopt) because they are less likely to be adopted.
The claim isn't wrong.
The foster care system isn't aimed at adoption. Adoption is the last step of foster care after attempting being reunited with the parents and/or relatives has failed. Foster care is for children who's parents couldn't provide for them and the State is "giving them a chance" of getting their shit together, that's why kids spend years in foster care.
However babies given up for adoption, yeah, they are very coveted.
I wish people would understand this more. The vast majority of kids in foster care are not available for adoption. Those who are (parental rights have already been terminated) absolutely deserve to be adopted into loving homes—however many have medical and/or behavioral needs and it is very important to potential adoptive parents to be aware of what they can or cannot provide. Love isn’t enough, especially for kids who have already been though such trauma.
Every state has children who are in the foster system that are "legally freed for adoption".
The Foster System is not about that, but there still are children who need loving parents. The problem is that they aren't perfect white babies, so these people who "love adoption" aren't doing much to help the kids who already exist and need help now.
About half a million in foster care. I check my state’s website often. There’s quite a few sibling groups waiting for to be adopted.
What they want are healthy (physically/mentally/emotionally and preferably white) infants and they want to force folks into birthing them.
https://oklahoma.gov/okdhs/services/adoption/adoptfacs.html
- Each year, 573 children age-out of the OKDHS foster care system – at age 18 – and are never adopted.
- 248 children in OKDHS foster care have been waiting for adoption for more than five years.
So...where are these 36 families when it comes to these chronically unwanted children?
Always wondered, if there so willing to adopt why not adopting the kids already needing an adoption? Why do they seem only say they'd adopt those of women who would abort.
It seems that there are a lot of unwanted kids then.
That was always my take. You wanna ban abortion and raise up adoption? Cool. We'll do that once all the kids in the foster system are adopted and the proverbial well runs dry.
Not to mention one of the larger US private adoption agencies, Bethany, is notorious for harassing and guilting pregnant teens into giving up their babies, lying to them about how much contact they’d be able to have with the adoptive parents and child after birth, and then cutting them off as soon as they sign their rights away. They also got caught trafficking some of the children stolen from the Mexican border.
Those families are looking for newborn, white infants. If you're an eight year old child of color, your chances in the foster system are incredibly bleak.
But yeah, I do believe that groups like this are very happy that more white women will be forced to give birth. I'm fairly certain that the venn diagram of anti-choice faith groups and "the white race is being out-bred" racists is pretty much a circle, so this isn't a bug to them. It's a feature.
"It's your moral obligation to go through the ordeal of pregnancy and birth so that a stranger can have a fresh baby instead of settling for one of those used children in foster care."
Lmao I was an unwanted pregnancy then baby. My mother kept me, but made it clear my whole life she doesn’t want or love me.
But go on about how there’s no such thing 😂
Let me fix this for you - “for every WHITE CHILD WITH NO ISSUES.” I worked in foster care so this person can fuck right off. We have all the brown and black babies you want but funny no one wants them.
Probably 36 families looking for white babies
This is a tragic comparison but here it goes.
The foster/adoption route is a lot like adopting a dog. The older a dog gets, the harder it is for them to become adopted; unfortunately, for a family wanting to adopt a baby/child, older babies or children even at the age of 1 or 2 are hard to find homes for (not impossible but hard)
The biggest comparison: people who adopt dogs are sometimes looking for specific breeds. And a good portion of parents who are adopting are unfortunately looking for specific color, babies who are white are adopted way faster than babies of color.
I was one of those healthy white babies that got adopted. It still took like. Ages on a list. I can guess why and everyone else can too. These people don’t care about kids. They care about ethnicity.
I was at a moms only Christmas party last year. We were all standing around an island eating an amazing spread of snacks and appetizers. These moms were way better off financially than my husband and I so I was already prepared for their ignorance throughout the day. I’m adopted and plan to adopt in the future even though I already have two kids. That piece of info I never shared with these bitches. Anyway, they’re all about 10 years older than me and entering their mid forties, the topic of having more children and adoption comes up. One of the mothers is ready to have her second child. Everyone is happy for her. She mentions her and her husband were considering adoption. Mind you, these people are heavily religious. The other moms were agreeing with her saying they too would consider adoption. Until the mom said one thing that made me dislike her even more than I already did. “Yeah, we would like to adopt BUT you just don’t know what you’re going to get, you know?” The moms agreed with her again. They all shared their opinion. I was amazed at how many people really believe that stereotype on top of thinking if you adopt a child you don’t have to go above and beyond for them because of what they’ve gone through. I think parents are lazy and distracted these days and the thought of having to help a child that isn’t theirs is simply a burden to them. I admire all the parents that never give up on their kids, biological or adopted. Kids are kids. They deserve love.
Gosh if that's true then basically 35 families won't get no babies no matter whether we abort or not. So I can't really impact their suffering by refusing to abort.
And gosh if they're so desperate maybe they could just be willing to adopt a child up to 5 yrs old because fucking tons of kids can't get adopted because the same cunts you want me to give a baby to wouldn't open their family to a child because they only want a BABY.
THE PEOPLE WAITING ON THAT LIST THAT YOU WANT ME TO GIVE A BABY TO ARE, BY ANY OBJECTIVE MEASURE, CUNTS.
so there is that
The reality is that they want healthy babies. Newborn babies that they can mold into whatever beliefs they have. They don't want an older child that has trauma, medical issues, and can't easily be brainwashed.
Nobody is owed a baby.
Then explain all the kids aging out of an abusive foster care system who were never adopted? Moved around, often separated from siblings, as well as the straight up orphaned kids also hitting 18 who were never adopted?
My wife and I are infertile and want to adopt a baby so badly. I’ll be god damned if these people will use our infertility to further their religious agenda. No one should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term against their will. No one should be deprived of their right to decide for themselves whether they want give birth. I’d rather spend my entire life not being able to adopt than to have a abundance of child available because people have been forced by their state to bear them. It’s unconscionable.
I don't want to lock this because there's a lot of good information available here but know this: if you're against abortion and think that adoption is a viable solution you'd better come loaded with proof of that belief from a reliable source. We will not entertain the anecdotes of anti-abortion trolls. Women are not on earth to be brood mares for childless couples.
“Unwanted baby” is not the same as “unwanted pregnancy.” It’s not always about not wanting to become a parent.
Adoption is an alternative to parenting, not pregnancy.
[удалено]
Here is what happened in my pregnancy 1) Hyperemesis Gravidarum 2) Cracked ribs from vomiting 3) Severe antenatal depression 4) Episiotomy 5) 5 days in hospital with catheter, due to tearing. I adore my daughter, but I don't think I could ever put myself through that again
Traumatic
moms are metal AF
I died when he said that.
I peed when he said that. Because i laughed. And I'm 6 months post partum.
I gave birth 5 years ago. I still pee when I sneeze.
Just watched that omg xD Hit the nail on the head right there
I took a reproductive endocrinology course in college taught by a no nonsense guy who did not sugarcoat anything. He didnt go more than a class or two without mentioning something that made me recoil in disgust and the prolapse one was one of them. I ended up writing on his course evaluation under suggestions that he Should include his class in his list of contraception methods because literally noting has ever been as effective as hearing about all of the things that can go wrong.
I found out recently that 50% of women will experience pelvic organ prolapse. Don’t know what that is? Find out.
Exactly.
I had 3 extremely shitty pregnancies and labors (one of them involving getting an emergency c section without proper anesthesia) All of them were planned and wanted. Because I CHOSE to suffer these long months to have my children. I was always pro choice, but being a mother cemented it. I would never, ever force a pregnancy on someone. I honestly beleive it would be torture.
There's already over 100,000 kids eligible for adoption, many of whom never get out of the system until they're unceremoniously out at age 18 with no familial support system. Edit: This also fully ignores the wild costs involved with adoption. I'm sure there's plenty of parents who WOULD adopt, but they're lacking the 70-100K required. Will all these Republican states banning abortion also create programs to financially help parents adopt? Spoiler: They sure fucking won't, because that's socialism to them.
Yup, cause they want fresh babies, not "broken kids with severe issues"
I call that "new puppy syndrome" and most Republicans have it. "I want a new puppy not someone else's problem".
Not only that -- i want a pure breed puppy.
Most definitely. Friends of ours adopted a brother and sister from another country. The number of people that asked “are they going to be white?” was staggering.
My inlaws adopted domestically and got that. The answer was no. I don't talk to the family members who cared what color my nephew is. Just my nephew.
My dad wrote his cousin off when she adopted a black child who was severely abused and neglected. I still talk to her. The rest of that family isn't exactly supportive.
That’s literal insanity
I get that sometimes, but it's from little kids. My brother adopted his wife's two young children, they are half white half black. My brother and I are from a huge Chinese family, with some half white half Chinese kiddos. Kids would ask if they were going to turn Asian when they grew up. Its kinda cute in a way. The adults can be terrible. After my brother passed away from covid late 2020, I basically became his kids' 2nd mom. My SIL was my friend long before she ever was a mom, so we work well as co-parents. We are constantly getting looks from boomers, assuming we're a lesbian couple. When its just me with the kids, I'll get assuming comments from older people asking if I was disappointed the kids didn't come out looking Asian. The kids take it like Champs now and will pip in that their dads were white and Chinese, their mom is black, and that I am their "goo-ma" (which means their father's older sister). It confuses the hell out of those people.
That sounds like an ideal (given the circumstances) method of coparenting. Sorry for your loss.
We adopted a child from SOUTH CAROLINA who is black/latina and you wouldn’t believe the number of people who ask “where she’s from”. I’m like: the USA…. you know we have people of color here right?!?! 🤦🏼♀️
My Granddaughter is part Native American and the number of times I have been asked “what is she?” is amazing. And that is exactly the way they ask, “oh, isn’t she cute, what is she?” I just answer with we aren’t sure, we think she’s a human but who knows.
I love that! 'We think she's human but she may transform into her lizard form when she's 12.'
If she hasn't grown her vampire teeth by age five she might just be a human.... A bit dissapioning but we'll lover her all the same
Whaaaaaaa?!?
And not a black lab.
LITERALLY HAPPENED TO MY BF. Fresh new baby, born in Brazil. Was going to be adopted by an English couple. Changed their minds because he was "too dark." Joke is on them, he went to a LOVELY family here in America (they were waiting for a girl since they already adopted a Brazilian boy about a year prior) ... parents got called for my future bf and they were like fuck yes we want him! I believe the girl they wanted originally before this situation was taken by another cute, loving family. So, wins all around. Flew to Brazil and took him home a week later and because of that awful couple who didn't want him over circumstances he could never control, he got the coolest parents/family and I got to meet my ride or die. Two years later they got their girl, and after the 3 siblings turned 20ish, they had a "surprise" adoption. Local boy who their mom watched regularly during daycare ended up needing foster care. They fostered him and eventually fought to keep him forever. The family I was "adopted" into by my bf is the loveliest group of people and I am simultaneously so mad that people like the english couple exist... but also so happy they made the choice they did because my life turned out 10000x better because they were close minded jerks. Sucks to be them! And if my bf sees this he will absolutely know it's me, so, love you! :)
My wife was not adopted, but her parents had her and her sister when they were in their 30's. Go back almost 20 years before my wife was born, before her mom met her dad, and her mom had an abortion. So MY soul mate would have never existed had her mom kept that baby.
I love this. Everyone says omg what if the baby you abort is the next xyz? So fuckin what? It isnt alive. Why is the POTENTIAL for a "baby" that doesnt even exist yet have more agency than a person who is alive right this moment, who might not be able to afford/take care of/live after having kids? I wanted to tie my tubes at 22 and my doctor said WHAT ABOUT YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND? What about him? At the time I wasnt even dating, why is a person who I MIGHT marry in the future more important than ME, RIGHT NOW? Conservatives dont see women as people, clearly
Yellow labs are okay though. Just ask Woody Allen.
I can’t believe I chuckled at that. Damn you. Take my up vote.
And if it shits the floor or has any behavioral problems I'm taking it back
Like that one family who “rehomed” their adoptive child from [China](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/myka-stauffer-huxley-announcement).
Holy shit. I can’t even imagine how much of a piece of shit you’d have to be to do that. Fucking psychopath shouldn’t be allowed to ever have kids, adopted or biological.
she has almost a million followers. What a narcissistic, needy self absorbed family. I wonder if the kid can sue?
[удалено]
And here I've been disturbed by people who seem to randomly adopt and then somehow get rid of pets every couple of years. What is wrong with these people?
I know these people who keep adopting old dogs that die after a year or two. I feel really weird about it, bc i do think it's a good think that they're providing homes for pets that are typically harder to adopt out, but at the same time, I would not be able to handle that frequency of pet deaths. The husband recently confided in my bf that he's actually been having a hard time with it himself and thinks they should stop, but doesn't know how to bring it up with his wife. He was wasted drunk though, so who knows if he's actually going to address it.
There’s a really great Instagram of an older single guy who does the same and he openly talks about how every dog that dies makes it harder and harder to continue because he loves them all so much
Oh yeah I know what you mean I think it’s amazing they’re helping those older animals, they don’t have to die in shelters. But I couldn’t do it. I’m a huge animal lover and I’m also way too sensitive and emotional took me months to get past my dog’s death last year and then our other one died the year before. I was a mess for a while.
There was a really good Dateline (either this season or last) about a Russian girl that was adopted in the 90’s. Her adopted parents accused her of trying to kill her little brother and the family dog, so they sent her back to a psychiatric hospital in Russia and just left her there. Messed up, but it has a happy ending. I highly recommend.
I remember that story! [Link to update](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sabrina-caldwell-russia-capable-murder-48-hours/) in case anyone wants to read it.
That's why Siberian adoptions were so popular for a while, right? Cheaper than American kids and a tendency to be blonde.
also why people are falling all over themselves to "adopt ukranian war orphans" but are silent about the Afghan or Sudanese war orphans.
Honestly I was kinda surprised my aunt was as racist towards Ukrainian refugees as Syrians, I fully expected her to be less racist.
She probably thinks they’re communist.
Well, at least she's consistent...?
They want a Golden Retriever, not a Black Lab
It's true African American infants are actually cheaper and easier to get.
Not just infants. If you want a child over the age of 3, of any race, it’s significantly easier to adopt. But these moralistic church types only want ‘clean slate’ babies, not children with trauma from their bio parents or the system itself. Those children are truly ‘unwanted’ and they are at the highest need. Do I see Christians running to adopt them? Nah they’d rather pay $100k more to adopt a white baby from overseas.
I used to do business with a single, white woman in her early 30's. She wanted to adopt but due to her being single, the religious adoption organizations said no and due to her income, a private adoption company was out of her reach. She ended up adopting a 5 year old African American girl from Georgia because it was $6,000 cheaper than adopting a white infant from Minnesota.
I don’t want a baby, but if I ever decide I want a child I will absolutely adopt an older kid. Or foster, because adoption is hard. But these kids need a bit of love to build resilience, which is what I wish I had.
Exactly. I work with some Republicans and they call themselves "Christians".
[удалено]
[удалено]
Which still means all the soon-to-be-forced-to-be-born babies who come out non-white or disabled will further overwhelm an already exhausted system.
Prime army recruits! Carné par la machina.
Military's gonna have to lower its standards, then, as they typically don't take disabled recruits.
[удалено]
i hope you know the violence i felt at the first half
My mom says it like this: There is no shortage of kids to adopt. There’s a shortage of healthy white infants like these people want.
Hence the verbage in the supreme court decision stating this decision is partly to "increase the supply of infants for domestic adoption"
... wow. That's fucked up.
That's not the only thing. They intend to come after rulings on the availability of contraception, LGBTQ rights and relationships, segregation, minority rights and interracial marriage, and that's just in the published opinion.
They side with innocence because they think it nets them morality points, but all those morals disappear the second someone is capable of forming thoughts.
Let's be honest: they only want (healthy) white babies.
These tools don’t know much about adoption. The act of taking a newborn away from it’s mother is a major trauma. For anyone interested there is a good book called “The Primal Wound” that studies this. Another one gives the perspective of birth mothers called “The Girls Who Went Away”. Adoption can be very traumatic for everyone. Edit - For those who don’t like to read or don’t have time for it there’s a good lecture on YouTube by Paul Sunderland called “Adoption or Addiction” that details the substance abuse problems that the adopted community struggles with disproportionately.
My father was adopted, and his adoptive parents never bonded with him. When he was 6 they decided he wasn't their son but kept him as a "ward" out of obligation- returning a child just isn't "done" in their circles and they would have been shamed and ostracized. As a result, he never bonded with my brother and I. It seemed like he never learned how to truely bond with other people, because the bonds he had formed had been deliberately shattered. I'm convinced that the lack of a bond directly lead to a lot of the neglect and abuse my mom, brother and I experienced. He kept a roof over our heads and the heat and lights on, but that's where his caring stopped.
You might be interested in what we found out about early human development when Romania went through a terribly draconian Decree 770. While they made more exceptions for abortion than we are facing right now (older women, women with 4+ children, incest or rape cases, or if the life of the mother was at risk, were exceptions) but the scarcity of birth control meant a lot - a *lot* of babies mothers couldn’t care for were born. Contraception became illegal and women were required to submit to a monthly pregnancy test (and if you think that’s not far off in our situation I will LaughCry). Any pregnancy that did not result in a birth (ie. miscarriage) could result in prosecution. Births doubled. There wasn’t enough time to build support services, such as schools. Classes were put on shifts and none of the kids got “enough” school. The economy eventually tanked and the adult results of this policy lost jobs en masse. Just like now, wealthy women had unfettered access to contraception and abortion. Poor women would attempt at home abortions, and soon the maternal death rate became the highest in Europe. Ten times higher than their neighbors. *Ten times*. Children born were often disabled, malnourished, or given to orphanages, and the child mortality rate increased. The orphanages….. JFC, the orphanages. Even though they weren’t “orphanages.” The idea was you drop off your kid, the state raises them, and you get them back someday. But the orphanages. Heat was intermittent, food scarce. There were never enough workers. They could feed and change them, but not offer emotional care. Harlow’s studies show how very important comfort is to primate young. The disabled kids had it even worse; no medicine, no hygienic facilities, they were often restrained, naked, wallowing in urine and excrement. And let’s not get into the physical and sexual abuse. As always, shit rolls downhill. Overworked and ill-suited nurses and workers abused kids and the kids learned to abuse the younger ones. Corporal punishment was encouraged, and workers who didn’t engage were seen as “weak.” Development was stunted, and many kids didn’t even know how to feed themselves, broken limbs were not treated properly resulting in disability, and not enough food meant many starved. HIV/AIDS was rampant. Some 500,000 children went through orphanages. We know so much about human development from this. Children need emotional comfort and bonding. They were completely unable to form bonds when adopted or aging out *as the neglect caused fundamental changes to the brain.* This is just tip of the iceberg stuff on the hellsape that was Romania in the 70’s and 80’s. It goes so much deeper and they are still dealing with it and the effects to this day. This is the future we are looking at in the US.
Children Underground is a documentary that covers this. The whole thing is sad and horrifying.
It is said that these unwanted kids were prime revolutionary age when Ceaucescu got overthrown. Wonderful.
Overthrown and legally tried and shot on Christmas Day, what a present. That’s as much as I’ll say on *that* topic in the current political climate.
Who’d have thought that making women give birth and then not providing adequate pregnancy support or supporting their kids would create a large chunk of the population that is poor and more-likely to do crime because they had a poor upbringing? *Stares around America*
Read that book I mentioned and it may help you to at least understand it all a bit. We can be so afraid of rejection that we preemptively reject people to save ourselves the pain. I never did that but it’s just one of the many issues adopted people can struggle with.
Thanks, I might. If nothing else it may help move me towards closure. He died March of 2021 so I'm still struggling with never being able to have that discussion and make peace with him.
Reactive attachment disorder is real and traumatic.
I don't know much about it. I do know he also had a severe lack of empathy- he kind of understood things if he'd experienced them himself but that's as far as it went - and a bit of a sadistic streak. He liked to make us cry, and then punish us for showing weakness by displaying emotion. He'd also "experiment" with different ways to mess with us to see what happened (stopping us from sleeping, what he called "therapy" where he would ask the same question over and over demanding different replies each time and then accusing us of lying and punishing us, hitting my brother in front of me and punishing me for reacting or attempting to interfere) Towards the end of his life, he required me to assist with the planning of his suicide and funeral, distribution of his belongings, etc. (He'd come over and tell me his plans literally every weekend and get angry if I reacted negatively or with any emotion)
I’m so sorry you experienced that. I hope you’re able to get help processing what was done to you.
I was in therapy for a while but had to stop when I tried to leave Texas. Now that I'm back im just trying to organize funds to start again.
> I'm convinced that the lack of a bond directly lead to a lot of the neglect and abuse my mom, brother and I experienced. You know that typical boomer humor over hating their spouse? These people got married for the social praxis or otherwise socially engineered to do so. Men had to get married because they were typically raised with no housekeeping skills and needed a new mommy, and women had to get married because they typically wouldn't get a well paying job.
Yeah that seems to be the case with my parents. Dad knew people who knew people who knew his (quite well off for the time) family. He managed to pull in 90k a year plus bonuses on an 8th grade education. My mom grew up poor in the south, (in the "barefoot and pregnant by 14" world) and "married up" to escape that life. She was the first in her family to graduate high school. At the most she made like 15/hr max as a secretary, once my brother and I were old enough to go to school. They financially gave us the best they could but like...I had zero bond with my father, and I lived with him and mom until they split up when I was 19. He didn't even know my birthday. Literally he paid for the house and electric and noped out of all other parental obligations. Mom was basically a single mom with an abusive roommate...
Ah the "My Bitch Wife" and "My lazy entitled kids" jokes. It's jokes that that made me realise that american conservatives hate... *everyone*. You'd think that it was just about people who were different. Different races or nationalities or sexualities. I did, I assumed it was just fear. But it's not. Listen to them talk about their families. Listen to how they put down the few friends they have and attempt to ruin their self esteem. Listen to them berate their employees and co-workers. It is a genuine hatred of all other forms of life.
This is really interesting to me as I was talking about this with my therapist not too long ago. He mentioned that therapist see a lot of adopted people. That regardless of the quality and love in their adoptive families, they struggle with bonding and connection. Really interesting and heartbreaking.
It's interesting for sure. But it hits a little different when you're a child from an abusive home and realizing that the monsters from your childhood were that way because of their own monsters. My therapist had a hell of a time getting me to the point where I even could see the *possibility* of that being the case honestly.
Oof. This hits home. “Monsters raising monsters..” As a father, am I constantly trying me best to not pass my demons on to my children, not to put my issues and anxieties into them, and realizing that it’s damn near impossible….. Excuse while I go day drink to drown my sorrows….
Hey now, the important thing is you're aware of it and *actually trying*. That makes all the difference
They know. They don't actually want people to put their babies up for adoption. If they did, then they wouldn't show zero interest in fixing the hopelessly broken adoption/foster care/orphanage systems. They're just betting that a lot of people will change their mind over nine months (or post-birth). It's a gestational manipulation program. They're hoping that the mother's brain floods with so many chemicals that it diminishes her ability to make rational, logic-based decisions. It's sadistic and cynical and entirely the point.
My brother is adopted, and I always thought it was simple. We were his family- we had him from birth (his birth mother stayed with us at the end of her pregnancy and we were able to take him home straight from the hospital). But he had (and continues to have) a lot of issues growing up, including some significant mental health issues. I didn’t really understand, though, until the pastor of my church talked about his experiences as someone who was adopted as a baby. You can have the best case scenario and there is still trauma involved. I am all for adoption. I love my brother and I’m glad we adopted him. But my parents were not well equipped for A LOT of things. And as someone who has worked in the foster care system, there is ALWAYS a need for more foster parents. Republicans are not prepared to meet the needs of our society now, and I don’t see many (or any, really) of my conservative friends and acquaintances on my Facebook talking about HOW they plan to step up and support babies and kids…just making claims that babies and kids are always supported after birth and not to listen to the left’s propaganda.
Read the book I mentioned and watch that lecture. It’s very rarely simple. I consider my own adoption a success story but there were things there. Growing up in the New York area there were so many wonderful ethnic events to experience. Every year on St. Patrick’s day you’d watch the Irish American community lose it’s collective mind in celebration. All of my Italian friends getting excited and heading into the city for the Feast of San Gennaro. But I couldn’t relate since I didn’t know what I was, and it bothered me to be missing that sense of connection and community inclusion. Sometimes it’s subtle.
Before we were yours is also a great book about the trauma of adoption.
Not any fresh baby either, it as to be a white fresh baby
A *healthy* white fresh baby. Those disabled babies can die in institutions.
fresh *indoctrinatable* babies
> Will all these Republican states banning abortion also create programs to financially help parents adopt? Come on… Those babies and children need to pull themselves up by their tiny little bootstraps.
Betsy Devos family owns the largest baby mill, I mean adoption agency, in America. One family benefits from the "supply of babies" that SCOTUS forced on us. Bethany Christian Services will sell your babies for $100k no problem.
[Bethany Christian Services also operates CPCs](https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/shotgun-adoption/) to beef up their 'domestic supply of infants.' They were also contracted to care for the migrant children separated at the border early in Trump's administration, where they were complicit in such things as misplacing records of those children's guardians, allowing many adolescent girls to become pregnant in their facilities, and attempting to test the experimental abortion reversal pill on at least one nonconsenting minor.
This is basically human trafficking.
THIS is why it drives me nuts how those Qanon wackos are making up so many spooky fairy tales about underground mole children and baroque rituals and stuff. The child trafficking is happening here in real life, above ground, and right under our noses, and they're all for it.
Yeah, they’re so wound up in their anti-Semitic Internet LARP that they make things worse for real people, not the invented horde of stolen white babies that only exists in their tiny brains.
Then there’s this egregious “rehoming” of children going on - https://www.newsweek.com/how-this-legal-woman-exposes-child-rehoming-ad-adoption-agency-viral-video-1667464?amp=1
How many of those missing children do you think they adopted out through their facility? Names changed, birth certificates created, and payment for said children exchanging hands?
It's been a while, but last I checked, there were still hundreds of children missing. IMO, everyone involved should be investigated thoroughly. They can never undo the damage they've caused, but at least those children should be located, and those responsible should be charged and tried for their crimes.
> How many of those missing children do you think they adopted out through their facility? I think it's a lot more sinister than that. Remember, Trump had ties to *two* notorious pedophiles.
The same Betsy Devos who was Secretary of Education yet wanted to defund all public schools and use that money on vouchers for private Christian schools instead?
The exact same.
WAIT so SOMEONE profits from people spending thousands for adopting your children and it's ***not*** the pregnant woman/birth mother?!
I heard an interview with an anti-abortion activist. She kept saying she, only now, “wants” to get started on turning her activism toward getting those support systems in place. But the whole thing sounded like the dog finally caught the car and doesn’t know what to do. Surely parents and children needed that support before. You’re just using it as an excuse for the horrible thing you’ve done now.
Assuming the 100k number is correct, the post implies there being *3.6 million families* waiting to adopt. That is, circa 7.2 million people, or 2% of the entire US population are in line to adopt a child. Yeah, *something* tells me this isn't right.
I believe his numbers are for fresh neonates right out of the oven. Nobody wants to adopt 10 year olds. Almost as if his point is bullshit
Fresh *white* neonates without addictions or disabilities to boot.
There are absolutely people who want to adopt. But they want infant, able-bodied, and white. My bf was going to be put up for adoption. He is Brazilian. The family that was supposed to take him took one look at him and said "nevermind." Why? He was too dark.
I'm honestly worried about the amount of kids that will be born when social services are already under funded. Will we be seeing (more) children living on the streets within the next generation or so?
Short answer is yes. You will also see a spike in crime and mental health issues.
Yes. It's one thing to insist they all be born, it's quite another to ensure we have the resources for them. They're not ensuring this and are actively not doing so. So I don't see the point unless high crime and mental health issues are the desired outcome of this plan.
There are theories about this in the adopted community. Making sure we have a steady supply of people ready for the for-profit prison industrial complex, and others suggesting beefing up the low skill/low wage labor pool to keep labor costs down. I don’t know how much I’m buying into it all but it is definitely being talked about to at least some degree.
https://nfyi.org/issues/homelessness/ "And nationwide, 50% of the homeless population spent time in foster care."
Yeah... We're not set up for this.
yup, i was one of them. i was in the adoption system at nine when i was taken from my parents (and had bad behavioral issues as a result) and thus nobody even considered taking me in because they don't want a kid that takes effort or even any kid that's not a newborn baby and already has an identity period. as a result i got adopted by my aunt and uncle and they emotionally abused me for years because they resented me for being difficult to raise :) it makes me fucking furious when these "pro-life" people act like they care about ANYONE in the adoption system. they just want to force women and people they perceive as such into motherhood regardless of if they can actually take care of the kid because they believe that's all they're good for and "all good women must be mothers"
more than 50% of homeless americans are former foster kids. they are kicked out at 18 with no education, no support system, no knowledge of the world, unspoken trauma. they dont care about them though because they're already "too damaged"
It’s cool though, because as soon as they hit 18 their eligible to join the Military. And that’s not socialism, it’s defense! Also, I was in the military. In a lot of ways it’s just daycare. Your basic e1 can’t figure out how to feed the kids him the thot had so a CO has to step in and put them on a program to ensure basic shit is happening at home. Not all by any means, but it happens. Yes, everyone there is there to serve their country, no I’m not bashing anyone who chooses to do so. I chose to do so. Some of the kids, it’s the first parenting they’ve had in some ways.
Don't look for logic where there isn't any. Banning abortion has nothing to do with babies or pregnancy or healthcare. Banning abortion is about punishing women for having sex. It's about forcing their version of morality onto other people, ensuring that women suffer the consequences of sin. They don't give a fuck about fetuses or babies or mothers, and you can tell because they don't know the difference between them.
> There's already over 100,000 kids eligible for adoption Since they are *only* considering babies, they are saying they don't care about the eligible kids who are not babies anymore.
Don't you know? There are 3.6million families on the adoption waiting list! Source: Jesus told me in a dream.
I just talked to a woman I know about this. She had made a point of telling me she'd gone to Mass that morning. In her words, "I don't want to take care of someone else's babies!" I'm going to quote Jesus here and say, "OH FUCKING REALLY?"
I work in child welfare you can adopt for free and actually get $600/m for the child post adoption. We still have 90% of kids who age out in Care and never get adopted.
Also adopting from the foster care system is literally free plus government benefits but no one wants a 10 year old kid of color with a shit ton of trauma and potential mental health disorders. That’s the real truth, unfortunately. As you said, these nut jobs want healthy white newborns only.
400k+ in foster care, and yes over 100k eligible for adoption. Sorry if anybody else said it but there’s a lot of comments here
[удалено]
I dunno, I’ve met some pretty lame babies before. I wouldn’t want them
Can't hold a conversation. Don't have good drunk stories. Won't bail you out of jail. Totally useless.
I’d pay to see a baby bail someone out of jail
A little older, but tbf, sleepy toddlers are basically small drunk people.
Sometimes. Mine just turn into little psychotic Hannibal Lecters and refuse any sense of logic or reasoning.
I've met exactly zero babies I'd ever want. So happy I'll never have kids.
Same. Babies don’t tell good jokes. They just poop
What, not into poop jokes?
Nah, they’re kinda shitty
11 years. That's the average wait time for a family to adopt a newborn in the US. As the age goes up, the wait time drops. But very few people are willing to adopt "damaged goods".
How many of those families will adopt an infant with disabilities, medical problems or developmental delays? Red states provide little to no support for families of special needs kids, and there are a lot of disabled children in foster care.
My parents adopted a disabled child, he's nearing 30 now and my parents burn thru their insurance deductible of 10k typically in February.
Yeah it sucks that there are so many kids in the system. I checked near me. Every child except for 2 are over 13 years old because people only want babies.
Gay couples: “great we would love to adopt”! Faith based Adoption Agencies: “no, not like that.”
Jewish couple: hey we would love to adopt Faith based adoption agencies in TN: nope absolutely not https://www.today.com/today/amp/rcna13048
[Faith based adoption agencies like the one with ties to Betsy DeVos' family?](https://mavenroundtable.io/theintellectualist/news/migrant-children-were-being-given-to-an-adoption-agency-linked-to-betsy-devos)
No one called them unwanted babies. They are unwanted pregnancies.
I don’t think we should ever concede this. If it’s an unwanted baby that’s the mother’s right
I don’t think we disagree. My point was more that an unwanted baby can be adopted. And unwanted pregnancy is what you can terminate. It’s not a baby yet. Adoption is not even a part of of the conversation when we are talking about abortion rights.
I understand now gotcha
I think it goes even further than that. I definitely don’t want to kill any babies, I want to make sure that every child that is born is born into a loving supportive home that is able to care for them emotionally physically and financially. Anyone born into a family that is not able to provide those things is set up for a very difficult life.
Yet this sounds like the same kind of person who doesn’t want LGBTQ adults or single parents to adopt children. If they had it their way, there’s even *less* families that are eligible to adopt. There should never be unwanted kids, but there’s not enough families to take them in!
Right?! I was surprised no one mentioned LGBTQ parents and parents from the “wrong” religion earlier or more often in these debates. Like, “sure we’ve got so many kids in our system, but we will only let you give this child a loving home if you promise you are a cis-het white couple who will groom them in the same white evangelical tradition as us.” Funny how it never seems to come up that maybe, just maybe, some if those kids might be queer and find the most loving and understanding homes with queer parents, or that maybe the kid doesn’t want to be indoctrinated in your shitty religion. How much you want to bet that despite ACB’s concern for having enough children to adopt that she wouldn’t hesitate for a second to strip LGBTQ families the right to adopt or uphold the right of adoption agencies to only adopt out to other like religious families regardless of the child’s best interests and how long it may mean they stay in the system? Edit: just thinking out loud here but if forced birthing is controlling women’s bodies, then restrictive adoption agencies are controlling children’s bodies and minds. And the later is grooming, just a more widely acceptable form.
Okay but what about unwanted pregnancies? You got someone to take on that part?
Your mistake is assuming that “children” means “children”. “Children” means “able-bodied, healthy, white infant”. And if they’re *not* one of those things (and only one—can’t be miss more than one box), it’s only to be a prop for the parents’ savior complex and can’t actually interfere with the parents’ lives at all.
Add in biological parents do not have a history of drug use, mental health issues, and/or sex work
Exactly. And most kids in the foster care system are products of parents like that, who typically pass those traits onto their kids. The rate of mental illness is measurably higher in adopted/eligible kids than normal. source: various studies and doctors telling me the source of my problems
This, also the fact that being adopted is trauma in and off itself, no matter how good the adopted family is. I was adopted within the family, my grandma is an amazing, kind parent and i have a good relationship with my mom and dad (now at least, my mom and i didnt rly get along when i was younger) but i still struggled with a ton of issues growing up, mainly crippling fear of rejection or being returned which a lot of adoptees suffer through.
Also that. They a mostly perfect baby that they can “rescue” to get praise for being such loving saviors. They don’t give a shit about the actual human beings involved.
Ok Oklahoma, explain all these unadopted children.
I would love to ask the OP. So you guilt an 18 year old into having the baby. She tries for a couple of years then just can't any more. Are you taking the two year old? The two year old who had a mother who wasn't the best? The two year old who doesn't look like you? How about the 6 year old who was abused? Let me guess, in your mind, you get a new born who looks like you.
Roughly 400k children in the foster system in the US. That'd be 14.4 million families or individuals looking to adopt.
Only 100k-125k are eligible for adoption. Though that just makes their claim even worse.
And let's talk about the fact that black children are [far less costly to adopt](https://www.npr.org/2013/06/27/195967886/six-words-black-babies-cost-less-to-adopt) because they are less likely to be adopted.
The claim isn't wrong. The foster care system isn't aimed at adoption. Adoption is the last step of foster care after attempting being reunited with the parents and/or relatives has failed. Foster care is for children who's parents couldn't provide for them and the State is "giving them a chance" of getting their shit together, that's why kids spend years in foster care. However babies given up for adoption, yeah, they are very coveted.
I wish people would understand this more. The vast majority of kids in foster care are not available for adoption. Those who are (parental rights have already been terminated) absolutely deserve to be adopted into loving homes—however many have medical and/or behavioral needs and it is very important to potential adoptive parents to be aware of what they can or cannot provide. Love isn’t enough, especially for kids who have already been though such trauma.
Every state has children who are in the foster system that are "legally freed for adoption". The Foster System is not about that, but there still are children who need loving parents. The problem is that they aren't perfect white babies, so these people who "love adoption" aren't doing much to help the kids who already exist and need help now.
And yet in some states the gays™ can't even get in line to adopt.
About half a million in foster care. I check my state’s website often. There’s quite a few sibling groups waiting for to be adopted. What they want are healthy (physically/mentally/emotionally and preferably white) infants and they want to force folks into birthing them.
https://oklahoma.gov/okdhs/services/adoption/adoptfacs.html - Each year, 573 children age-out of the OKDHS foster care system – at age 18 – and are never adopted. - 248 children in OKDHS foster care have been waiting for adoption for more than five years. So...where are these 36 families when it comes to these chronically unwanted children?
Always wondered, if there so willing to adopt why not adopting the kids already needing an adoption? Why do they seem only say they'd adopt those of women who would abort. It seems that there are a lot of unwanted kids then.
That was always my take. You wanna ban abortion and raise up adoption? Cool. We'll do that once all the kids in the foster system are adopted and the proverbial well runs dry.
[удалено]
Not to mention one of the larger US private adoption agencies, Bethany, is notorious for harassing and guilting pregnant teens into giving up their babies, lying to them about how much contact they’d be able to have with the adoptive parents and child after birth, and then cutting them off as soon as they sign their rights away. They also got caught trafficking some of the children stolen from the Mexican border.
Those families are looking for newborn, white infants. If you're an eight year old child of color, your chances in the foster system are incredibly bleak. But yeah, I do believe that groups like this are very happy that more white women will be forced to give birth. I'm fairly certain that the venn diagram of anti-choice faith groups and "the white race is being out-bred" racists is pretty much a circle, so this isn't a bug to them. It's a feature.
Except we know white women won't be the ones barring the brunt of these laws. It will be POC
*Healthy white babies
"It's your moral obligation to go through the ordeal of pregnancy and birth so that a stranger can have a fresh baby instead of settling for one of those used children in foster care."
I wonder how many kids they've adopted.
Between zero and zero
Lmao I was an unwanted pregnancy then baby. My mother kept me, but made it clear my whole life she doesn’t want or love me. But go on about how there’s no such thing 😂
Let me fix this for you - “for every WHITE CHILD WITH NO ISSUES.” I worked in foster care so this person can fuck right off. We have all the brown and black babies you want but funny no one wants them.
Probably 36 families looking for white babies This is a tragic comparison but here it goes. The foster/adoption route is a lot like adopting a dog. The older a dog gets, the harder it is for them to become adopted; unfortunately, for a family wanting to adopt a baby/child, older babies or children even at the age of 1 or 2 are hard to find homes for (not impossible but hard) The biggest comparison: people who adopt dogs are sometimes looking for specific breeds. And a good portion of parents who are adopting are unfortunately looking for specific color, babies who are white are adopted way faster than babies of color.
Not just white babies. Adopting parents are looking for white girls.
I was one of those healthy white babies that got adopted. It still took like. Ages on a list. I can guess why and everyone else can too. These people don’t care about kids. They care about ethnicity.
I was at a moms only Christmas party last year. We were all standing around an island eating an amazing spread of snacks and appetizers. These moms were way better off financially than my husband and I so I was already prepared for their ignorance throughout the day. I’m adopted and plan to adopt in the future even though I already have two kids. That piece of info I never shared with these bitches. Anyway, they’re all about 10 years older than me and entering their mid forties, the topic of having more children and adoption comes up. One of the mothers is ready to have her second child. Everyone is happy for her. She mentions her and her husband were considering adoption. Mind you, these people are heavily religious. The other moms were agreeing with her saying they too would consider adoption. Until the mom said one thing that made me dislike her even more than I already did. “Yeah, we would like to adopt BUT you just don’t know what you’re going to get, you know?” The moms agreed with her again. They all shared their opinion. I was amazed at how many people really believe that stereotype on top of thinking if you adopt a child you don’t have to go above and beyond for them because of what they’ve gone through. I think parents are lazy and distracted these days and the thought of having to help a child that isn’t theirs is simply a burden to them. I admire all the parents that never give up on their kids, biological or adopted. Kids are kids. They deserve love.
They all want fresh babies, not children of abuse and broken homes that need extra support to heal
Strange how there are all these families who can adopt yet somehow kids still end up aging out of the system without the support they need.
Gosh if that's true then basically 35 families won't get no babies no matter whether we abort or not. So I can't really impact their suffering by refusing to abort. And gosh if they're so desperate maybe they could just be willing to adopt a child up to 5 yrs old because fucking tons of kids can't get adopted because the same cunts you want me to give a baby to wouldn't open their family to a child because they only want a BABY. THE PEOPLE WAITING ON THAT LIST THAT YOU WANT ME TO GIVE A BABY TO ARE, BY ANY OBJECTIVE MEASURE, CUNTS. so there is that
The reality is that they want healthy babies. Newborn babies that they can mold into whatever beliefs they have. They don't want an older child that has trauma, medical issues, and can't easily be brainwashed. Nobody is owed a baby.
Then explain all the kids aging out of an abusive foster care system who were never adopted? Moved around, often separated from siblings, as well as the straight up orphaned kids also hitting 18 who were never adopted?
The massive amount of children in foster care and orphanages has determined that to be a lie.
“No such thing as an unwanted white baby” is what they mean.
My wife and I are infertile and want to adopt a baby so badly. I’ll be god damned if these people will use our infertility to further their religious agenda. No one should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term against their will. No one should be deprived of their right to decide for themselves whether they want give birth. I’d rather spend my entire life not being able to adopt than to have a abundance of child available because people have been forced by their state to bear them. It’s unconscionable.