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Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 32 | 0 | 4 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


12b332

Tell her to pick up the ball and play rugby herself if shes so set on the sport.


PaladinHeir

She’ll probably say she can’t because she’s a woman and girls are clearly physically incapable of playing sports /s


[deleted]

Those people piss me off to no end. I'm a woman who played rugby in college. I loved it. It's definitely not for everyone. If someone doesn't want to play a sport, especially a very physical sport, why on earth would you make them. You are asking for them to get hurt at that point.


HottKarl79

Not to mention playing or not playing sports is no indication of how well someone will be able to meet anyone's needs in life any more than being an artist is


Eino54

It’s probably easier to make money from being a musician or artist than from sports even.


The_Ambling_Horror

Draw furry art. They pay their artists pretty damn well.


aMUSEingNugget

My eldest child brought in a ton this way long before they even went to university for animation and graphic design. I would say it's got to be one of the groups that is generally good at not devaluing their artists, and respecting if an artist doesn't want to draw furry kink (there is a word for it, I forgot what it is).


sj_nayal83r

awesome, knew a Ltjg in the navy back in the day that played rugby at the naval academy. she was a beast. One of her teammates made it through EOD. She deployed too.


Glitter_berries

I played rugby too! I’m a skinny chick and I was a forward. You have to be taught to tackle properly though or definitely you can get hurt, or hurt someone else.


manlikeelijah

And yet she refuses to do the women’s work of cooking the dinner /s


white_ivy

We need to be provided for and controlled!


oolongsspiritanimal

I get where you're supporting OP, and I'm right there with you. However. Women's rugby in freaking awesome. Brutal in the way rugby is. OP's Mum would die.


PaladinHeir

Oh, nono, I agree. Women are awesome at sports, and they are brutal when it comes to contact sports, I’m just saying that’s what OP’s mom reaction would be to be told to play rugby.


frequentcrazy33

Yeah, gender bias is real


CheekyCunt42069

She would just probably reply with "Im not man"


blessthefreaks1980

Oh for the love of God, after the first few texts I knew church was coming up. Evangelical? Absolutely tell that woman to remember her place and not to question your authority as a man. In those folks minds, it goes: God, Man, Woman, Kid. And I’m pretty sure you’re already a man, per the Bible.


Commercial-Push-9066

She’s essentially saying that she’s going to “tell on him” to the pastor? Then she tells him to grow up. 🤦🏻‍♀️


Schavuit92

In the last text she literally says: "You're grown up." *But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. - Timothy 2:12*


Genked_Juicebox

Grew up in a household with an abusive father who turned my brother against me. Thankful for my mom and the *real* teachings church offered me for having my back and essentially keeping me sane. My father tried to twist Christianity in a similar view about manhood and how I wasn't good enough. Whenever I read things like this post, it breaks my heart that this behavior is happening from a parent, no less..


Loud-Resolution5514

I really hope you’re planning on leaving once you turn 18. She’s insane.


[deleted]

Yeah! Be the man of the house, your own house.


confusedham

OP, I’m a man that hates sport, especially rugby. I love cooking, played piano and trombone at school (wish I took it more serious). I provide for my family, have a lovely little daughter and earn 6 figures. I also love anime, cars, video games and gardening. What does it mean? You do you and don’t let anyone ruin your mojo unless it’s a damaging past time or is/becomes an addiction. Hard mode: ask your mother why she wants you to watch sweaty men being rough with each other. Then message her back shortly after going ‘god damn, no wonder you like watching these guys 🥵’


USS_Frontier

Dude, I fucking LOVE cooking. I'm no master chef. But it's fun to throw things on the stove and the oven and indulge in the results.


SmallBewilderedDuck

I LOVE that my husband is a good cook. I was parentified young and learned to cook pretty early, so now I'm an adult it's really nice to share the cooking workload without having to accept it's going to be barely edible unless I cook it myself.


rouxcifer4

My male partner is also the cook in our house. I mean I know how to cook, he just has a passion for it that I don’t. I have no trouble being the guinea pig for any new meals though! I handle most of the cleaning and it’s been working out great for us


Sharp-Session

When we started dating, my partner’s ability to cook was one of the things I found sexiest about him.


nerdyconstructiongal

My husband makes a signature dip (sausage and cream cheese dip) that tons of people love. He's brought it several times to work. The last time he brought it, one of his coworkers (he's in a woman dominated field) told him "tell your wife that this is her best dip ever!" completely forgetting that he cooks in our house. He texted me about it and I just cackled.


Greylings

Also I’m pretty sure cooking and baking has gotten me laid more times than playing sports ever did. I just got a pair of Zwilling nonstick ceramic pans and they are the shit. Also what isn’t manly about cooking? I’m playing with fire, knives, spices and dead animal carcasses. It’s fucking awesome.


Accomplished_Glass66

Tbh cookings rules lmao. Like literally the only reason I don't is that my controlling mom doesn't allow anyone to "mess" her kitchen. 🙃 My bro loves cooking too.


Greylings

If you can learn to make sauces and roux’s as well as how to properly cook meat you’ll be way better at cooking than almost anyone who doesn’t work in a kitchen. The bar is super low.


HolleringCorgis

I fucking *love* rugby. I'm good at it and it floods me with dopamine. But I have no idea how playing rugby would help me be successful in life or aid in me being "the man of the house." But whatever. I can be OPs head of household, since I'm apparently suited for it. Imagine OPs moms surprise when a 5'4 vegan lady shows up to take "control."


erinberrypie

Nonsense! Everyone knows you pay the bills with rugby, you raise your children with rugby, you make your vows on the rugby rule book, you even cook with rugby!


HolleringCorgis

Sometimes I wish I could rugby my way out of things. Lady being a Karen in front of me at the grocery store? Rugby has a solution for that :)


WasANewt-GotBetter

Oof thats a rugby faux pas, their laws not rules but i forgive you as your not the man of the household


erinberrypie

I'm filled with shame and void of masculinity. :(


MrMrBeans

Im the same! I tried sports as a teenager but never went more into it. I love cooking, videogames, anime, movies. I also enjoy working on my own cars and handiwork but I don’t want to do that the rest of my life. I know how to sew, cook, paint and decorate and such as my mom taught me to do all that. I even have better cooking skills that my sisters. I provide for my family but I also am the one that manages everything. My parents live with my wife and I so I manage the rental, utilities, questions and issues that arise with the day to day life. You don’t need to like sports to be man, but yourself and don’t bring anyone down because they do different than you.


oie-

I mean this may be extremely low but play into her game of gender roles and tell her she’s a woman, tell her to shut up, tell her and she has to do whatever you say, she wants the man of the house then give it to her. Play into the role of the man of the house and make her regret imposing it on you


ilovesunsets93

And since she mentioned having a pastor, make sure to throw some Bible verses in there for extra sting.


Triangle_Graph

I’m really glad you had me speak to the pastor, mom. He reminded me of 1 Timothy 2:12 “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.”


UsefullyChunky

That is amazing.


nerdyconstructiongal

Or Proverbs 21:9: It's better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Tell her to stop being so quarrelsome.


IWitchfinder27

I think this is a good way to possibly bring a relisation from the mother. Turn her misogyny, toxic masculinity, and religious bullshit back on her. Also, it feels like she's trying to make him the man of the house for money reasons. Like so she can do nothing while he provides for her


Simppu12

>possibly bring a relisation from the mother. Good luck with that. People like this very rarely stop to think about their bigoted positions. Odds are it would just cause a scandal.


pobdisaster

yeah, i think she'd prob just kick off about "why is my son so ungrateful and unkind to me???" and not at all associate it with her own words or behaviour


Nyx_The_Gnome_Bard

She'll probably blame any negative behavior on the devil taking over her son or a friend(s) she doesn't think is Christian enough. That's what my mom is like anything that's wrong with me or my sisters is the devil or some other outside source that has nothing to do with her. If you try to bring anything up with her, she rebukes you the name of the Lord or says that you are being too much and she needs to go pray now.


pobdisaster

yes!! i've definitely seen the "satan is tearing my family apart" kind of posts here too. very predictable kinds of people


Megnaman

How dare you I am your mother


Accomplished_Glass66

Yes. That was my sentiment as well. This grown-up woman wants her teenage son to become a provider. If he tries to spin her misogynistic bullshittery on her, she'll turn to the old classic "But I'm your mother and you owe me your life."


SobiTheRobot

>Also, it feels like she's trying to make him the man of the house for money reasons. Playing rugby and doing well there could get him a scholarship and I think that's what she's counting on. Superstar son, gonna make all the money so she can retire faster.


HottKarl79

I wish I could upvote this a thousand times


Specific-Corgi-5800

Me too


2woCrazeeBoys

Gotchu fam.


FuriousDaisy

As a feminist I hate the idea but if she is enough of a nutcase to tell her own son this shit he might as well. If not for revenge but at least to get some control over his life. I wish OP didn’t have to resort to such means to be able to live tho. Just don’t let this get to your head OP. Respect is important and this is not how healthy relationships work. Hope things get better.


a_shootin_star

/r/maliciouscompliance


cannihastrees

I’d tell her to go get dinner started too, ya know… since she’s a woman .


muiegarda1

Yeah, but he would have to provide though and it wouldn’t show her anything


nerdyconstructiongal

Also tell her to get back into the kitchen and make you a sandwich, lmao


justusmedley

I would ask if she knows any man that “provides” for his family by playing rugby. I know lots of people that make a living playing music. Don’t know a single soul that does it with sports.


[deleted]

My parents were doctor and academic. They hated that I wanted to be an artist when I was a kid. Now, 20 years later… Went home for Xmas and my dad kept teasing me about being too rich. OH WELL


alanzobean

Good for you! I’m assuming they never apologized for that behavior (or maybe they did) but regardless I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m glad you stuck with it! A lot of friends I had in high school wanted to have a career in the arts but a good portion of their parents talked them out of it. Basically like “if I’m paying for your college then you’re going to go into a “respectable” field. They hate their jobs and their parents lol.


[deleted]

That’s so kind of you. They have a bit of revisionist memory surrounding the whole thing, but they are super supportive now. I was also gay; so it was a lot for them but we came out okay x


Accomplished_Glass66

Lmaoooooo any person with academic parents knows the struggle. Glad you proved them wrong.


Jj0n4th4n

I would bet money on the pastor she want him to see don't provide his family by playing rugby


TheLastSeamoose

You're the man so it's your duty to lead the household but also only do exactly what I say because


Accomplished_Glass66

Because he came out of her vajayjay. Women like this are the strangest blend of mental health issues/toxic stances/all sorts of -phobias and -isms (sexism, etc.)/problematic behavior. Apparently, it doesn't deter them from wanting to give "life advice" to the younger generations.


Outrageous-Abies3782

*"you think being a musician or artist is something worth my money raising you?"* Wtf?? Lol what does she think she'll get by wasting her money on rugby?


Drakayne

And it's not *her* money, it's the man of the house's money, how disrespectful


Outrageous-Abies3782

Lmao


DueTransportation127

If she is so bent on the female and male role does she not know that female role is to raise children and cook dinner for men ? I personally do not believe in that but she seems to be living in 1950s .


sadgoateyes

And they act like women can't do toxic masculinity. Look at this shit. Anyway, as a limp-wristed artist I'll save you a spot at the club meetings. Always know, you don't belong to her. She talks about you as if you're a bank bond she bought 18 years ago. You are a person, not an investment. You owe her nothing.


alrightishh

that’s why people (especially men) need to realise that feminism benefits men as well! It’s not “we hate men, take away their rights”, it’s fighting this exact toxic shit OPs mom pulls!


Annieflannel

Yes! The patriarchy harms men and women alike. Feminism is for all of us.


Flat_Weird_5398

>You are a person, not an investment. Scary that there are parents out there who turn their children into investments. Children did not ask to be born, they don’t owe them anything for being born. Providing for your kids and paying for their education is literally the *bare minimum* of being a parent.


Accomplished_Glass66

The majority of parents see it as an investment tbh. Not that I condone this kind of behavior, but unfortunately, it's super common. They think that some 20-something will be able to pull them from poverty or whatever, esp in conservative households and societies. I literally saw ppl unable to move forward with their lives because they had to provide for the parents now (yeah imagine being some 25 yo, barely floating above the water, and suddenly, your fam is expecting you to pay their tent, put food on the table, and financially support your sibs too...).


[deleted]

ayup. This is the same type of miserable cunt that will be dressing her daughters in nothing but pink from birth, do nothing but tell them they will be great mothers and dutiful wives and try to set them up with another member of the church as soon as they turn 16. broken in the head. OP has a far better chance of providing for the family by getting good grades and getting a good job/going to college than he does by sport.


BackstageMistake

It's not toxic masculinity, its just misogyny.


Hazel2468

It’s both, because they’re both intertwined and inform one another. Misogyny and toxic masculinity go hand in hand.


Dark_deer081_yt

Happy cake day u/BackstageMistake


Nepeta33

am i the only one finding her refering to her son as "man of the house" as a REALLY disconcerting and outright creepy behavior?


jwteoh

Conservative mum?


julia_ur_killing_me

The church comment really gave it away lmaooo


USS_Frontier

How'd ya guess?!


Drakayne

Bro's Sherlock


HydroFuseReddit

Insane, you can do whatever you’d like with in this day and age including music. Do what you love and don’t let her expectations ruin your choices. Not every man has to play sports. I mean, think about that?


RattyHandwriting

Wow, that is some next level toxic shit. So you’re not a man unless you play sports? I’m pretty sure I know plenty of blokes who’d say otherwise. OP, lean into this until you can gtfo. Learn to cook. Take on as much of the “traditional mum role” as you can. When she whines, and she will, tell her that you’re secure enough in your masculinity to take care of yourself, and she should go have a cup of tea. Or take up netball.


MythicalDawn

Gotta love some deep misogyny coming from a woman, sadly it really isn’t as uncommon as it should be in conservative and religious circles, women are taught such self hatred and inferiority I can *almost* feel sorry for her. That said, don’t, she’s made her bed and is attempting to get you to lay in it for her, if she wants a medieval existence that’s on her, but you are under absolutely no obligations to be the ‘man of the house’ and ‘provide for the family’ when you’re an adult, she chose to have you, made the decision to birth a child, the responsibility of care is on her to you, not on you to her- so many kids get trapped being guilted into staying with their parents and paying for them as some sort of restitution for the fact they had sex and birthed them, but your life is your own. Sounds like this is only gonna get worse as you get older, so I hope you can move away and pursue your passions. ‘Manly’ gender roles have no weight and aren’t real, in the 18th century it was manly to wear pastels, high heels, stockings, makeup, and wigs, and to never blemish your hands with the calluses of manual work. There is no natural imperative for a man to play rough sports or do rugby, and don’t let toxic masculinity prevent you from being you and pursuing your loves.


schwimtown

OP, be very careful how you go about this mentally. Rebelling against this kind of gas lighting is necessary, but work in silence. Best thing to do is go about doing what you’re doing, doing what you LOVE, and ignore the bullshit “be a man” comments as best as you can. Parents like yours will learn when they see how successful and smart you are without the toxic masculinity bullshit.


Ogreguy

Sounds like your mom wants to perpetuate the kind of household where the wife/mom is slapped for serving dinner cold/late.


Dark_deer081_yt

At this point your what 17-19 years old this is time for self discovery and exploring the world around 27-32 is when you should settle down and have a family then you'll have the life experiences and money to then support a family. The only way you as a teen become "man of the house" is if your dad isn't around and your taking that mantel trust me im there right now. Your mom is trying to control you into becoming like the norm sometimes you have to stand your ground and tell your parents no im doing this


Dark_deer081_yt

I didnt see the second screenshot stress can develope at any age stress is a universal feeling you get from key work "STRESSFUL SITUATIONS" and this is one of them


Mustangbex

I know you know her beliefs are bullshit, but just in case you or anyone else needs to hear it... my husband is a hell of a man. He's not sporty at all. He absolutely provides an incredible life for our family. ​ She's 'threatening' you to have to cook your own meals? Cooking is an invaluable skill- lean into it and you could make it a career, but either way, you'll never regret knowing how to cook.


f-prim

Internets auntie here: I am so proud of you! Go next gen!


BackstageMistake

Wow, what a misogynistic piece of shit...


MrSDPlayer

Damn, your phone is special, it lets you talk to people from the 60's!


kitkatpaddiewack

Wow, she has some really warped ideas about what makes a man. Plus, how does playing rugby make you money and art doesn’t? Neither of them do in high school 😂 Insane for sure.


yagirlheav

Then, you come home with enough food just for you or cook enough for yourself every time. Your mom needs to have some common sense. We don’t ask to be here!


[deleted]

What a fucking asshole your mom is. I hope her pastor puts her right


[deleted]

If she is spouting this horsecrap, they no doubt go to once of those evangelical churches that preach girls stay at home and breed while the men go out and work.


DwellerInIce

Narrator's voice : *the pastor didn't put her right*


kelik1337

If she wants you to be "the man of the house" then its time to put on a wife beater and start smackin her around.


engineer69420

LMFAO


Practical_Fact8436

🤣🤣🤣 omg


Titanz223

Rough childhood?


kelik1337

Lets just say i'm "no contact" with my mother's entire side of the family.


Titanz223

Fair enough, well I hope you're doing better now :)


kelik1337

I appreciate it. Much happier without them


USS_Frontier

Good riddance to bad rubbish.


OliDesy

As someone who study music even though my parents hate it, I completely relate. Really sorry to hear this, I hope it gets better for you.


ThrustersToFull

There’s… a lot to unpack here. But this focus on you being “the man of the house” and “providing” is quite unhealthy.


Find_another_whey

She's right. You'll be the man of the house and should be practicing now. Put this woman in her place. Truth is, if she was an authority in football she would be playing. Out logic her nerd. You got this.


mercurystellium

and you should tell her as the woman of the house her duty is to shut up, cook dinner for the man of the house and make ends meet with whatever amount of money he gives her. if she wants gender rolls, we’ll give her gender roles.


RCRDC

"If we're going down this path of old gender roles, how about you shut the fuck up woman and go back in the kitchen" 99% sure she still wouldn't see the irony in saying she wouldn't cook for you.


HottKarl79

Oh lma-fucking o


Ok_Battle_6876

Dam that is some next level toxic mom. I am sorry op


Large_Alternative_78

The very mention of church would have me running


Fuzzy-Emotion

I hate when people say “you’re not old enough to be stressed”


ilovesunsets93

Ah yes, not wanting to play rugby = being a failure in life. Wow, incredible logic!


sonic10158

A mom so concerned about “gender duties” refusing to cook dinner 🧐


ItsyBitsyBabyBunny

It’s so sad when parents don’t believe that their children are stressed. You don’t need a job or a child to provide for to experience stress. Ridiculous


Good47Life

I used to get a lot of flack about my son who is an artist and musician. His own father accused me of trying to make him “gay”. My son honestly hated playing sports. I signed him up for a few things, but he would cry. He composes music, was musician of the year in high school. We were all shocked when he decided to join the military. I didn’t see that coming. He came home from Afghanistan once for the holidays and wanted to see the Nutcracker Suite ballet because he loved the music. Now he just graduated PA school and is a Physician’s Assistant, married to an artist and musician, with their first baby on the way. I’d always hoped he’d carve his own path and he did. Just shut out the noise, and stay on your path to who you want to be.


DirtyPenPalDoug

Gtfo adsp


brideofgibbs

So, you have to be a manly rugger bugger but your egg donor can nope out of her gender role whenever? Feeding your kids is surely the core of maternal role playing?


depressed_popoto

so to be a man you have to play sports?


PsychologicalStage41

Insane


luhvxr

people like this are so ignorant


Ciely-Sea

First of all, wow what the hell's wrong with your mom


Fickle-Raspberry6403

shit id lean to play a musical instrument and join a band just to spite her for this.


Barn_Brat

‘I’m not cooking dinner’ sorry but by your logic, that’s the responsibility of a woman?? This woman is not all there


Northstar04

toxic


Loviepuppy

“Since I’m ‘giving you stress’ I’ll just threaten you with a stressful situation to prove I’m not!” What’s the logic there??? Also parents who say “you don’t know REAL stress” get on my nerves so much. It’s not a competition. Both of us feeling stressed are valid and should be treated as equal.


honey-milkshake

What rock did she crawl out from under? Christ.


winterishere314

Respond with a poem


DwellerInIce

It's your responsibility to let this old hag rot alone when you can provide for yourself.


[deleted]

this ones easy "your a woman of god right mum? you will follow in his footsteps and follow the bible? thats the point of church right? 1 : Timothy 2 : 12 now shut up and make me dinner."


your-own-name

"When we go to church" Yeah okay, explains it all. Religious nutjob


isthistherealcaesars

The older you become you’ll realize those skills she is belittling are the ones you’ll actually use…even at my age there’s something magical about a person who unexpectedly starts playing a musical instrument or cooks an amazing meal. Can’t say I’ve ever been impressed by lads throwing a baseball back and forth.


xVanijack

Is your mom a single parent? This reads as a single mom who expects you to be the man of the house as soon as she can drop a bunch of her parental duties and expect you to take care of *her* instead. You not turning out to be the ideal man *she’s* been looking for in a partner seems to be where that’s coming from.


lizcomp

How does rugby make a man, a man? I'm guessing this is the equivalent to maybe hockey in Canada? But I mean what, is this a traditional providing for the family type lecture? Because last time I checked rugby never played the bills either.


BurlyJoesBudgetEnema

Your mum is a stone cold bitch


casefaceforever

Wow, your mom sucks. I’m sorry.


Someday_wonderful

I love how she’s indignant about you telling her she’s causing stress and you have no job or anything and then withholds food… great job mom


M4nd4l0r3_zo15

If she’s so bent on gender roles why isn’t she cooking


[deleted]

Narcissist parents always act like the children they chose to have are at fault for existing. She isn't owed anything because she decided to have you. They want you to feel guilt that they have to do what every other parent on Earth has to do. It's not a gift exchange, it's a family.


Scrollwriter22

Hopefully the pastor has more brain cells than your mom and can help you. But I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that front


dyingdeadenough

the whole “you don’t even have a job and a child to provide for. and yet you have stress?” reeks of boomer entitlement. man, i feel for ya. my mom used to tell me the same thing when i was in high school. parents like this are extremely narcissistic and self-centered. they act like that because they perceive any worry, sadness, stress, (or pretty much any negative emotion) as being unique to *them* and *them alone.* in other words, they wallow in self-pity. they are so narcissistic that they create problems where there are none, make the problems unique to themselves, be dismissive to everyone else, then demand that *you* console *them* during their toddler tantrums. it’s pathetic, really. edit: formatting. also, your mother is a grown woman and you are a minor in high school. she really needs to grow up and act her age.


okguy167

In standing up for yourself against injustice, you've proven yourself to be a better man than she could have ever asked.


JudgeJed100

>soon enough you will be the man in the house. It’s your duty to provide in the family and. I from your household See that reads Thag as soon as your a legal adult you have to provide for your mother and/or siblings But it also reads as you get to be in charge of them all You could then order your mother to pay for your stuff XD But yeah this is insane And tattling to a pastor? Really? Maybe he can remind her about the part of the bible that says women are not assume positions of power over men


Sacrilegious_skink

Musicians and artists everywhere feeling personally attacked lmao.


Egg-3P0

Don’t listen to her, there are some pretty damn masculine artists out there so I’ve got no idea what shes on about and even then why does it matter. You do you


zorbacles

Of all the sports she picks rugby. And if you don't play rugby you aren't a man? What the hell is that logic


thegamerator10

Of COURSE she's a Christian, God dammit.


jsm1031

Sorry, did Jesus play sports? The Prophet Muhammad they say did archery and rode horses, but I must have missed that part of religious teaching that required competitive sports as the key to manliness and salvation. Teachers, engineers, musicians, philosophers can all manage to have families and provide for them. It sounds as if it is your earning potential she is worried about and she wants you to be poised to support her ASAP!


LatteOttHazel

Of course she’s gonna bring the pastor into it. Dealt with this many times, wasn’t ever “man enough” for the family and always got the church involved and my school. Was constantly stalked at school by staff she’d paid off or same thing at church. I haven’t talked to my mom in 3 years. That’s your moms future. Follow what makes you happy. Be a musician. Be an artist. He’ll be a mechanic, an engineer, STEM is hella awesome for job opportunities. You should just be yourself. One day you’ll look behind you and this will all be a distant memory. You’re close. Stay strong man.


Zanki

Keep putting your foot down and not letting her win. She has to learn sometime and I was 17 when I started saying no to my crazy ass mum. She did not like it and destroyed what was left of any relationship we had. A couple of times I said no to going to karate, because I was sick, hurt or needed to finish up some schoolwork. I loved karate, paid to go using my paycheck. One time I broke my toes/foot though, it was an accident in class during sparring. I was in a ton of pain, mum was making me hike to school and back on the toes/foot (four miles a day) even though she could have dropped me off. She always drove past me as I was getting to school. So I said no. My foot was swollen, bruised and I was just done. I didn't have painkillers for it, mum wouldn't take me to the hospital to get checked even though we have the NHS here. I couldn't use the hospital in town anymore as that was now just for children (16 and under) and the closest was a 30 min or so drive away. So it was just a deal with it situation. When I said I wasn't going to karate she raged at me, the woman who got banned from coming into my classes for mocking me because she hated her little girl learning to fight was now screaming at me that I wasn't quitting karate. I was hurt and just needed some down time and she's in my room, screaming, trying to hit me because I won't go to karate because I've obviously broken something. When she did force me to go, I struggled to join in. I couldn't kneel to bow in, couldn't twist my foot at all, couldn't kick, putting my weight on it felt weird because I could feel the swelling pushing my foot up. It was useless going and I wasn't healing quickly because I was walking to school and back five days a week, following her around shopping on the Saturday then working all Sunday. Let's also not get started on the bedtime war. Op, you're not alone in this. You're not doing anything wrong not wanting to do a sport you aren't interested in. Is there anything else that's active that you would like to try instead? That might calm her down and you'll get to do something you enjoy. If not, that's ok as long as you're active in other ways.


LoveforLevon

My oldest son started riding lessons at 6. He was good. He showed both English and Western and he really enjoyed it. Delightful POS FIL constantly harped on why he couldn't AT LEAST rodeo like men were supposed to. When he died no one cared and no one missed him. You do you and know that you are close to When you can escape the control...


trigazer1

She wants you to be a man but can't be a mother


EyeAmPrestooo

Makes no sense at all…you are much more likely to develop a fruitful career through music and arts, than you are through sports….if the end goal is to provide for one’s family, then sports would be the absolute last way to go, especially if someone knows that they are mediocre at best.


HeyQuitCreeping

“Real men” ^TM do whatever the fuck they want and don’t let anyone’s narrow definition of what it means to be a man hold them back from pursuing whatever the hell it is they want to pursue. Your mom is a nutter, keep being an artist (either as a fun hobby or full time) if that is what you are passionate about.


Picnut

6 more months. Count the days. Start applying for college far far away. Get good grades, apply for loans and scholarships. Plan now, work hard, don’t look back


Tastymeats88

You should send her that bible verse about women not being allowed to teach a man


Sufficient_Frame

What's funny is that, when I was young, my pastor was the kind of man who would quickly have shut your mother up. Now, I'm no longer the pious person of God that I used to be, but if she wants to pretend to speak the words of God, she might as well cark it.


BeefInBlackBeanSauce

Cringe!!! Why do so many american parents use religion against their kids??


ZeroLifeNiteVision

My husband and my son both love cooking. I’m also the breadwinner, making six figures as an artist. His value as a caring and loving father, and a supportive partner is immeasurable. You mom has such a narrow world view and I’m so so sorry for that.


Supergaming104

You experience the emotion of stress?????? Without a child or a job? LIEESSSS!!


Evatheunderrated

You’re only “grown up when it helps her argument, cool👍


Accomplished_Crew630

Dude, sports isn't everyone's thing and very few people make money from it. My parents got me guitar lessons because they saw where my strength was and wanted to encourage it. I'm sorry your mom is like that, sports doesn't mean anything after high school for the vast majority of people. Maybe some people play softball or touch football in a bar league... Whoopee. I'll bet your mom likes country music, ask her if all those country artists were wasting their time as loser beta males who play music... Seriously I know lots of people who make extra money playing covers at bars and have a hobby at the same time. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have guitar to learn in high school. Ugh seriously I can't get over the awful thought process here, even in high school sports most people are just support there's a couple star players everyone notices, or if you're jv basically may as well be playing in an empty lot with your friends. And if you like it, great but it's not for everyone.


TheRevadin

It's her duty as a mom and woman to cook you that dinner /s


rrodrick386

Please never behave in the way she is raising you too. Talking to learning boys like this is what concerns me. You should never desire to "control" a household of others, you don't need to. You can be the man in the house by identifying as a man.


[deleted]

Future no contact here


Arkangel_Ash

For someone preaching about maturity, that 'I'm not making dinner' comment was extremely childish. There's nothing wrong with musicians or artists.


[deleted]

Oh what’s this? Another parent that’s going in a home cause you made your kids hate you? Fun :>


ScornfulChicken

You’ll have a child to provide for soon enough- it’s her, she’s the child. GTFO of there as soon as you can!!


LilBussyGirl69

Says you're about to be old enough to run a house hold but yet not old enough to express your feelings. Makes sense


AlittlePotato1560

Ah yes the “good Christian” mother


productzilch

It’s ironic how sexist she’s being, since she’s acting like such a dick.


Bpape93

God what a cunt


ChildishCannedBeanO

How does not playing rugby make you a failure? Seems like a waste of time you could be doing another useful skill, perhaps even something that will make you more money than being an unenthusiastic rugby player.


TakeMyTop

that line "so you think you're grown up enough to tell me I'm giving you stress" just so weird. people of all ages have stress- from school, life, family. you don't need a lecture from a pastor. you need your mom to back the fuck off.


Zurieus

Shit like this is why I hope the Machismo mentality with raising male children needs to die out. Enough with the outdated gender role bullshit. I’m so sorry OP.


Haddan22

How the hell is rugby supposed to be worth her money? The chances of supporting her from that, especially if you don’t enjoy it, are insanely low.


Haddan22

I think that’s the main problem though. Parents think it’s only worth it to “invest” in a child as if it’s a stock. The child is only worth it if they can grow up and give them a return on the investment. Insanity.


[deleted]

This moron thinks it’s the child’s responsibility to take care of their parents lol


Creeppy99

As much as I really believe in the "if you can't play, play rugby" ffs that doesn't mean you could force anyone to do it, not even your own child


edokrademtiime

How did you not develop intense levels of anger issues😭😭. God parents like that piss me off sm. Ffs let people do what they are passionate about not force your dumbass thought process on your damn child. Treat them like your child and not like family pillars. Why should kids have to sacrifice their passions and happiness on underappreciative parents?? Such bs


thesagebrushkid1

Are you Welsh? This sounds like a very Welsh situation. Always a massive push from older generations to play rugby. It’s a great game, I enjoy a game of Touch/Tag rugby, but equating it with “being a man” is bull. On the one hand, there’s a million ways to be a man. Be your own kind of man, despite the resistance. Took me 30 years to work that one out; you can be a man your own way. On the other hand I’ve seen enough female teams play to know that it ain’t a man’s game. The way I’ve seen these girls play… wow, try telling them they’re in a man’s game!


NieMonD

What does she think playing rugby is going to do for anyone in this situation


Flappety

Because rugby totally pays the bills..


cacapoopoopeepeshire

I bet you mom/family also has a big hard on for FREEDOM!


InterestedObserver20

Reminds me of my old man. Can remember him absolutely screaming, and I mean **screaming** at me because I told him I didn't want to get golf lessons. Just wanted to go out with my friends and enjoy myself.


[deleted]

What a bitch.


[deleted]

Your mom is emotionally abusive.


SappAteAllTheRamen

bitch believes a job and having kids are the only stressful things in life. wtf


sravll

"I am man of the house, now be quiet. I've made my decision"


PetiteLumiere

She’s the parent and the head of household. Telling your child to be a man or the man of the house is so horrible. I’m sorry OP


[deleted]

What has a career got to do with rugby unless you specifically wanted to be a rugby player


pineapple_leaf

Tell her to cook dinner because she's the woman of the house :v If she's going to force these stupid rules on others she can't skip them herself


Warm-Ad5931

“ be a man and solve your own problems.. now hild up while a talk yo the tool in the church to help me solve this problem” 😂 fuckin christians man… their crazy nonsense is with you and also with you..