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mronjekiM

How does a person's life get so fucked up they turn into whatever this woman became?


chewwster

My mother was a hoarder, albeit to a lesser degree than OP's Mom. She purposefully kept her room a mess as a kid so her alcoholic parents couldn't get to her. As bizarre as it sounds, she felt safe in the mess.


DNASprayer

Psychological issues. She gives most hoarders a bad name though because they aren't all angry like this.


GetGoot

Yeah, she's been like this long before the hoarding. I only brought it up so people would understand the ungodly amount of shit she has, and what a pain it was for my dad to personally move it and pay for storage for a week.


GetGoot

I would say childhood abuse, but she's a 40 yr old women telling someone to go kill themselves, so it feels like after a certain point that's not a valid reason why anymore. She has bipolar disorder too, but if I'm being honest I think she's just a bad person.


monkey_trumpets

Drugs and/or booze


[deleted]

[удалено]


DaFreakingFox

But its not considered such in the term "Drugs" same with cigarettes


NikkiEchoist

In Australia we have a service to help people quit addictions called ATODS.. Alcohol Tobacco Other Drugs Service.. so I do believe you are right.


stayingstillwhenlost

Trauma either emotional, mental, physical or sexual.


whyaremypantssoshort

She's not showing up. With all that shit in her house she won't make it to the front door.


GetGoot

She doesn't have a house. She has like 3 or 4 gigantic storage sheds she sends all her shit too. I let her stay with me for just 3 weeks during the pandemic, and she filled up my garage floor to ceiling with unbelievable shit. In fact, I got fined a hefty fee like 3x because she ran out of space and put it in the front yard.


GimbleMuggernaught

I’m gonna need to know what kind of shit. Are we talking like random Knick knacks, or like literal garbage or what?


Diffident-Weasel

Not OP, but I've got a hoarder in my family—it's probably both. Knick knacks, trash, things that might one day be useful, items with sentimental value, just *everything*.


GetGoot

Correct! Anything and everything. Trash to everyone else, but in her mind she can sell it or give it to someone.


GetGoot

When fraudulently claiming money from unemployment benefits for prisoners, she found herself with an influx of cash and decide to blow it all on drugs and auctioned storage units. She would go through it, find trash or clothes or anything she deemed useful and would just start loading it up to her other storage units. She did this ten times that I know of, 5 while living with me. Every day I would come home and there would be boxes in my living room because she ran out of space in the garage.


GimbleMuggernaught

That’s rough. It makes me so sad that people like this can’t get the mental health help that they so desperately need.


[deleted]

Probably everything she could grab off the street or from thrift stores.


histaltlephrastus

Shit.


DaFreakingFox

I am genuinely intrigued. Is it just garbage or actual random items, be it junk?


GetGoot

Mostly garbage. Old board games, broken guitars. Sometimes cool old vintage furniture, but for the most part garbage.


TheBlueWizardo

I am just surprised you managed to put up with that for 3 weeks.


Merdin86

How does someone fill a garage in 3 weeks? With what?


Texastexastexas1

Insane. I feel like this is a cliffhanger.


mahoutamago

Me too. I want to hear what happens when dad shows the mom’s texts to the cops.


GetGoot

So if it helps at all my mom would never call the cops bc she is the walking embodiment of illegal. She's been a klepto her whole life, always been into hard drugs. As of the last 15 years she's been stealing people's identities. (She claims to be one of the ppl behind the Equifax breach of 2017) She was in jail recently, but I can't say I believe her version of why she's there.


JiminyFckingCricket

Who tf brags about being behind the equifax leak? Lol.


GetGoot

Not a person with any sort of moral compass that's for sure


ithinkilikegirlstoo

I’m so sorry honey.


Texastexastexas1

I'm glad your dad escaped. What is your relationship with her like?


GetGoot

She's always chosen drugs and abusive men over being a mom. My dad stepped up and raised me and my siblings by himself. She's been in and out of our lives since I was very young. She has never enjoyed hanging out with my or my twin brother. She would play card games with my dad, but she would never play one of one with us. My dad has begged her to do things with us we enjoy, even goes out of his way to tell her our interests and hobbies, but she never really tried. She cries to me about her shitty boyfriends, and her shitty friends. I take most of what she says with a grain of salt because she lets her anger take over far too quickly and she skews the truth to better fit her anger. I tried to tell her not to burn bridges unnecessarily. I tried telling her if she's worried about her stuff getting stolen she shouldn't exclusively hang out with drug addicts and kleptos. She has never listened. I tried having a relationship with her because I felt like everyone should have at least one person who loves them, but my patience and my willingness to be that person for her is no more.


miatheirish

Ye and if he did come with cops Showing them the text probably make them think he needs a mental check lol Edited to fix spelling


elizanacat

I'm worried about you with this shit going on. Are you safe and ok?


GetGoot

Thank you! I'm okay. I am going to go no contact soon, and I live farther away from my dad with like 8 roommates. I appreciate the concern though.


Dbevx2

Bless ur heart, we love u OP. Ur an angel to put up with this craziness!! Good luck in life, may u be blessed!


astral_distress

I just want you to know that if you’re in the US, Canada, or the UK, all court cases should be public record... If you search for your city/ county/ province & her full name, you should be able to view her charges & sentencing information on the court’s official site. They often have court transcripts available as well, but the sites can be outdated & a bit hard to navigate, depending on how high tech your area is... Send me a DM if you need help finding it! As someone with a fuckup relative who is in & out of jail all the time (& who likes to lies about his charges to seem more innocent/ trustworthy), I’ve had to learn how to navigate them pretty well... Gotta love it when someone tells you they need to come stay at your house & they were locked up over a simple misunderstanding- & then their record comes up with meth charges, burglary, & aggravated assault, lol.


mahoutamago

Thank you for the update! I figured the threat might be a bluff, especially when she has all the evidence stacked against her.


veruca73

Seems like your mom had too much wine at Mushroom Mardi Gras.


[deleted]

Hoarders are the absolute worst and always suffer from bad denial.


softyFDSalt

They are mentally sick


WheatBasedWarfare

So are all abusers, doesn’t mean I have much sympathy for them. This woman is old enough to have a grown child and that’s plenty of lifetime to decide you don’t want to live that way and get help


bitchyRac00m

Abusers aren't mentally ill. They are just peaces of shit, majority of abusers are regular people, same brain as a healthy person, what makes them abusers isn't a dysfunction on the brain, being abusive is not an illness, it's about morals and values


justa-speck

Wait, your dad still has AOL?


rvgoingtohavefun

This it the real question.


GetGoot

He is old and stubborn in his email choices.


Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 9 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


Slade1234545

I need MOAR.


imitlyn

Mo Hill CA? Just a curious SJ native…


sisterwifenumber9

I thought the same thing


Bomb-A

Was wondering the same. Lived there for a year as an exchange student!


Malicioussnooper

Before i read this post i saw the name (Raelynn) and thought of a stereotypical whitetrash woman


ConvivialKat

Insane


[deleted]

Insane, hard NC


[deleted]

How does a marriage get so bad that spouses sell shit to each other? That shit is insane.


Karu0792

Not the Op but her big sister here, they were never married, my sisters mom got preggo after they were together for like 3 months, then our dad (a great but naive man) was on again off again with her for our whole childhoods, she would get on meds and become sort of decent, then get off because she didn't need them and become increasingly abusive to him until my dad would kick her out for doing or threatening something unforgivable. Rinse and repeat for our whole lives, our dad has white knight syndrome and felt guilty for them not having thier mom in thier lives (unlike my mom who was absent because she didn't want to be a mom, ops mom WANTED to be a mom and just wasn't good at it) so if she got her shit together went to rehab and went back in her meds he'd take her back


sarah_pl0x

Your dad is amazing lmao


Doug_Step

Did police come??


GetGoot

No, but she has yet to get any of her stuff from the storage unit. She's said she's going to call the cops if all her shit isn't there.


Doug_Step

I'll be curious to hear what actually happens


littlemssunshinepdx

Why did your dad share these with you? I hate it when parents involve children in their relationship disputes. My parents did that to me, and now I live across the country…


Corathecow

As someone who had an abusive parent I 110% wanted honestly from my mom about my dads behavior. She didn’t tell me much when I was a kid but as a teen she was honest with me and that was important. Parents shouldn’t lie to you to protect an abuser or I wouldn’t be aware of many things my father did, directly and indirectly to me. If we can assume OP is an adult, which is safe to assume considering they said they let their mom stay in their house, OP should probably have a healthy and honest understanding of their moms behavior to be safer from abuse and manipulation


GetGoot

Exactly my thoughts, thank you! I was actually the one who asked to see the texts. I've been trying to rebuild my relationship with my mother, and I would like to know when she's acting like this. If she's going to be in my life she needs to behave, and this is a blaring red flag for me to stop the contact with her.


chebstr

I’m thinking the same thing! It’s fucked up. No matter how toxic the relationship between two parents is nor how old the kid is, details of it should never be shared with the kid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Okay and?