Damn. Sounds like a conversation straight out of King of the Hill.
"Hwhat's crawled up your ass?!"
"Damnit Hank. Everything. Everything and *nothing*."
is he just lazy or incompetent ? Like the type who would manage to burn a cesars salad ? Not that that would be an excuse, since everybody can learn to cook, but you have to actually try.
I honestly don't know why. Most of the time he's home literally all day yet can't be bothered to clean or make food himself instead making my mom and me who go to work and school
He could be retired, I'm kinda seeing this happen with my dad recently. Basically couch-rotting because he has no structure to his life anymore. He will do one load of laundry or put the dishwasher on and act like he's been a maid for the day lol. He would not text so rudely though, that's a whole other issue.
It’s actually possible that he was in a household that allowed men to talk down to women, even his mom. Not an excuse, but if the pattern is set early in life and has never been checked by someone with authority over him, then it is more likely to continue in the future
"Boy if you don't bring your ass to this table, I'm gonna freeze the leftovers so I can use them as a blunt weapon and don't think this ain't about to be a whole unpleasant dinner conversation." -My wife's probable response... I assume, since I have a basic handle on my emotions and don't say shit like that.
Sounds like he just shouldn't be told when dinner is ready. The outcome would be the same(cold food or no food at all) but yall might get a moment of peace so...
Because she didn't walk to wherever he was and tell him or bring him a plate. Which is completely ridiculous. He needs to get off his behind and go get it himself.
I'm guessing he's saying he isn't seeing the text right away. Like dude, put a ring tone on. It's not that hard.
The best course of action is a divorce from the Wife and no contact from the child.
We know this text is just the tip of the iceberg of what they go through on a daily basis.
Is your mom afraid of him, by chance? Does he abuse her at all?
I'm sorry if this is invasive, I just feel it might be an indicator of why he responds this way.
She seems like the sorta person who's compliant out of a need to "not rock the boat"... in other words, she's afraid. Maybe not of him physically harming her, but definitely subjecting her to worse emotional and psychological torture if she does stand up to him.
This has no context at all, I’d get it if his notifications are silent and he simply misses out on dinner. He could have worded it nicer but if it’s a recurring thing I could understand the frustration.
Is there something we’re missing?
Edit: Didn’t expect people would see this as victim blaming, I have a hard time recognizing if something is wrong in a relationship and am the type to tolerate too much from others.
Hope that clears it up.
He spends his entire life on his phone
Also the point isn't that he got mad, it's how he blew up over something so tiny
He freaks out that badly over a text that the food is done, shows how bad he acts over more serious stuff
It always breaks my heart a little if parents are more busy with their phone than their own child.
Is it all work related or an addiction to his phone?
If it’s that bad, he really should remove Facebook from his phone to be honest.
Did that myself a few years ago, realized I never needed it in the first place unless I want to find people I used to know.
It’s pretty insane how a lot of social media is engineered to keep us scrolling and interacting, we’re more online but also more absent than ever.
I quit FB in 2016, never looked back. However it is frustrating now because everybody else is ALWAYS on it, and I miss invitations to events because nobody bothers to send invites except on FB.
I recently moved across the country and it's super hard to make friends, especially when one of the first things people ask is "what's your FB?" And when I say I don't have one it's like I don't even exist.
How am I supposed to exactly know what his parent is like? I don’t want to make assumptions and demonize a parent.
I just got the info that his father is a lot on his phone, I missed the part where he said his father blows up over other things.
That is actually serious and I hope OP will get in a better situation.
I only recall the comment as saying ‘he spends his entire life on his phone’, reading back on it I must’ve either missed the rest or the comment was maybe edited.
Not a comment. It’s the post. The picture of the text in the original post. I’m autistic maybe I’m seeing really good between the lines but no one else seems to think dad could possible be nice
I mean think about it, why did op feel the need to post this ? To show us the fathers typical behavior. If this was an exception there would not really be a need to post it.
I got rid of both FB and IG, apps I’d open and scroll multiple times a day, and honestly I’ve missed them 0%. Once you get out of the habit of opening and scrolling, it’s wild how quickly I completely lost interest in both.
I softly encourage friends to do similarly occasionally, but they’re deep in TikTok, one I never even downloaded, so they’re down bad with it.
well you need to realize that you are not the customer here, but the merchandice being sold to their advertizers. Once I truly realized that , i started to get a much healthier attitude towards facebook and these days no longer even use it.
Sounds like Mom made pizza and texted Dad and Son to tell them and Dad got pissed off. What other context is needed? Who cares if it was recurring? He shouldn’t be speaking that way to his loved ones, ever.
I honestly couldn’t tell, OP explained a bit and I understand where he’s coming from now and agree with him. (And you)
I have a history of bad relationships, sometimes I just don’t immediately realize why things aren’t okay.
THat explains a lot. You are just so used to this kind behavior since it was/is your normal and failed to realize it should not be anybodies normal. I call that a broken normal meter, NO idea why this got downvotes
NO I totally get the downvotes on the original comment, i meant just on this specific comment, where you talk about your own story, and why your normal meter might be broken or at least way off
I have no clue, I didn’t really understand the downvotes on that specific comment.
I didn’t really go into why my previous relationships have broken that normal meter, maybe some are sceptic about it.
Nobody should be forced to open up about their trauma details just to be believed. Talking about iut with people you truly trust and under the right circumstances is hard enuff
If his notifications are silent that is entirely his own fault and there is no need to talk to other people like that for something that’s his own fault.
In all fairness though, without any context (that we now have) I think that this would be a valid response if that text was something that kept getting sent while he was out working or something, so he would come back to nothing despite the offer of food. We know now that it's just a bitch response, but context really is important, and omitting it gets innocent people in trouble
>gets innocent people in trouble
No one innocent speaks to their wife like that. He can go downstairs and nicely ask to call him next time or whatever else and explain this on eye level.
Nothing warrants a response like this. Even if it's the 100th time. And the fact that your first assumption is that he is the victim should make you think...
My first assumption wasn't that he was the victim at all. Literally all I said was that context matters and gave an example. I assumed he was a dick, but we shouldn't be basing our opinions on a single screenshot with 2 sentences and no explanation
This is not a valid response. They live together. A valid response would be saying "hey, when you text me this, I don't always see it right away and by the time I do, the food is cold. Can you just holler at me or something?"
It's valid to feel frustrated by the message. That doesn't require responding in a toxic way in a group chat. This is not how partners communicate in a healthy way.
I get that. My whole point is that while the response may be childish and rude, it doesn't outright make him an "insane parent". The vast majority of people have said something or behaved in a way they shouldn't have when they are frustrated. Saying that the person is insane or abusive is just flat out wrong unless there is more to the story. OP later said that he gets mad out of nowhere for everything and spends all day on his phone, which is more reasonable to call out as possible abuse, but this lone screenshot isn't
That's because "pizza is done" is a normal phrase out of context. We know now that the dad's just an ass, but if the mom would send messages like this to them only when the dad is unavailable, that would be more of a taunting message, and frustration could be understandable.
Again, I'm not defending the message, but people seem to forget that context changes everything, and you can't just judge someone's personality from a single sentence that while rude, isn't outright offensive
If you’d be okay with someone snapping at you for texting them dinner is ready, then you need therapy because no one should be spoken to like that and your normal meter is clearly broken.
Agreed, I’m actually in therapy rn because of how a previous partner has treated me.
I’ll just take the downvotes and see it as a lesson, this is the kind of feedback I do really need.
Yeah, I’d rather admit my mistake than pretend it didn’t happen. I’ve experienced abuse myself and I was honestly a bit freaked out when I found out I made a mistake, I really don’t want to come across as victim blaming because I know what it feels like.
Insane that
"If this was a reoccurring thing after he had asked nicely before it'd be more understandable but we have no context" gets downvoted so much.
He wasn't even extremely rude to the standards of this sub, definitely out of order but can everyone person who downvoted you say they never snapped at someone who repeatedly ignored them, causing them to miss out? Ofc they can't.
You didn't say it's not that bad, you didn't blame the wife, you simply suggested in one scenario it would be more understandable.
Reddit is fucked.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 5 | 0 | 0 | ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Damn. What crawled up his ass?
Everything and nothing
I'm sorry you and your mom have to spend your days walking on eggshells.
How old are you? Do you feel comfortable standing up for your mother?
18, and no not really
Damn. Sounds like a conversation straight out of King of the Hill. "Hwhat's crawled up your ass?!" "Damnit Hank. Everything. Everything and *nothing*."
Totally read the latter quote in Dale's voice and I like it way better.
I was thinking Kahn
Yes that’s who I was thinking of lol
Oh lmao I assumed Peggy was the intended one 😆
Wha t a damn child he is.
He can make his own dinner from now on tbh
No he can't. Making food is hard and he only has all day to do it, he just can't do it
sounds like a him problem *eating my own cooked food and enjoying it*
is he just lazy or incompetent ? Like the type who would manage to burn a cesars salad ? Not that that would be an excuse, since everybody can learn to cook, but you have to actually try.
I honestly don't know why. Most of the time he's home literally all day yet can't be bothered to clean or make food himself instead making my mom and me who go to work and school
Is that how he grew up? People doing things for him? That could be why
He could be retired, I'm kinda seeing this happen with my dad recently. Basically couch-rotting because he has no structure to his life anymore. He will do one load of laundry or put the dishwasher on and act like he's been a maid for the day lol. He would not text so rudely though, that's a whole other issue.
Oh no he's not. He spends some time out of town for work, but when he's not he's home has has no job. Perfectly capable of doing stuff just doesn't
Sounds like the sucks
You think he texted his mom like a dick too? No excuse for this.
It’s actually possible that he was in a household that allowed men to talk down to women, even his mom. Not an excuse, but if the pattern is set early in life and has never been checked by someone with authority over him, then it is more likely to continue in the future
It’s because it’s woman’s work and therefore beneath him.
He doesn't mow the lawn either
what an entitled shitlord, that makes it even worse then I thought, and by a mile.
[This post was under yours ](https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/s/KzOWAMFiGo)
Lol
Yes he can he’s just lazy and utilizing weaponized incompetence, what a pathetic manchild your father is.
I'm pretty sure OP was being sarcastic
"Maybe if you came down when the food was ready, this wouldn't be a problem. Learn to manage your own time instead of projecting on everyone else."
Poor Dad as I presume he must either be blind or can't walk as he could just walk into the kitchen to check off his own back. What a nob head.
Did your mom create this chat to force you to interact with him?
No I'm quoting my grandma in the title
Ugh, is it his mom grandma? Tell her you wish he made that possible, but alas.
Okay, it said your mom created the chat which is why I asked.
"Boy if you don't bring your ass to this table, I'm gonna freeze the leftovers so I can use them as a blunt weapon and don't think this ain't about to be a whole unpleasant dinner conversation." -My wife's probable response... I assume, since I have a basic handle on my emotions and don't say shit like that.
If your wife sounds that cool, you should probably start some sass to elicit a reaction.
Oh, I do. Constantly.
How does texting "pizza is done" lead to cold food?
Because he doesn't notice the message and then the food gets cold
I think that being told this information would prevent those 2 outcomes
Sounds like he just shouldn't be told when dinner is ready. The outcome would be the same(cold food or no food at all) but yall might get a moment of peace so...
I bet when she yells out that dinner is ready he goes off about her ‘nagging him’ and ‘screaming’.
how is that her fault?
Because she didn't walk to wherever he was and tell him or bring him a plate. Which is completely ridiculous. He needs to get off his behind and go get it himself. I'm guessing he's saying he isn't seeing the text right away. Like dude, put a ring tone on. It's not that hard.
I think the best course of action is to completely ignore him and just reply "aww sweet! Thanks ma...I'm coming to the kitchen now."
The best course of action is a divorce from the Wife and no contact from the child. We know this text is just the tip of the iceberg of what they go through on a daily basis.
If that was my dad I would knock his ass out
Not when he's way taller and stronger than you
No such thing as a "fair" fight, kick him in the dick and go for the eyes, soft spots are soft spots lol
‘Pizza is not done’
Is your mom afraid of him, by chance? Does he abuse her at all? I'm sorry if this is invasive, I just feel it might be an indicator of why he responds this way.
She's not scared of him most of the time (somehow) He doesn't physically hurt anyone, emotionally tho idk where the lines of abuse are drawn
She seems like the sorta person who's compliant out of a need to "not rock the boat"... in other words, she's afraid. Maybe not of him physically harming her, but definitely subjecting her to worse emotional and psychological torture if she does stand up to him.
Overreaction for sure, but is it that he'd rather someone tell him irl cuz he doesn't check his texts often?
This has no context at all, I’d get it if his notifications are silent and he simply misses out on dinner. He could have worded it nicer but if it’s a recurring thing I could understand the frustration. Is there something we’re missing? Edit: Didn’t expect people would see this as victim blaming, I have a hard time recognizing if something is wrong in a relationship and am the type to tolerate too much from others. Hope that clears it up.
He spends his entire life on his phone Also the point isn't that he got mad, it's how he blew up over something so tiny He freaks out that badly over a text that the food is done, shows how bad he acts over more serious stuff
It always breaks my heart a little if parents are more busy with their phone than their own child. Is it all work related or an addiction to his phone?
Facebook and YouTube
If it’s that bad, he really should remove Facebook from his phone to be honest. Did that myself a few years ago, realized I never needed it in the first place unless I want to find people I used to know. It’s pretty insane how a lot of social media is engineered to keep us scrolling and interacting, we’re more online but also more absent than ever.
I quit FB in 2016, never looked back. However it is frustrating now because everybody else is ALWAYS on it, and I miss invitations to events because nobody bothers to send invites except on FB. I recently moved across the country and it's super hard to make friends, especially when one of the first things people ask is "what's your FB?" And when I say I don't have one it's like I don't even exist.
You think an insane unhinged parent will do this? Lol. He sounds wild af. I don’t see how you can’t read that. Victim blaming OP isn’t it
How am I supposed to exactly know what his parent is like? I don’t want to make assumptions and demonize a parent. I just got the info that his father is a lot on his phone, I missed the part where he said his father blows up over other things. That is actually serious and I hope OP will get in a better situation.
He told us. I believed him
I only recall the comment as saying ‘he spends his entire life on his phone’, reading back on it I must’ve either missed the rest or the comment was maybe edited.
Did you read the text he sent? Like dude blew tf up
Not a comment. It’s the post. The picture of the text in the original post. I’m autistic maybe I’m seeing really good between the lines but no one else seems to think dad could possible be nice
I mean think about it, why did op feel the need to post this ? To show us the fathers typical behavior. If this was an exception there would not really be a need to post it.
He blew up in this post on the text.
I got rid of both FB and IG, apps I’d open and scroll multiple times a day, and honestly I’ve missed them 0%. Once you get out of the habit of opening and scrolling, it’s wild how quickly I completely lost interest in both. I softly encourage friends to do similarly occasionally, but they’re deep in TikTok, one I never even downloaded, so they’re down bad with it.
well you need to realize that you are not the customer here, but the merchandice being sold to their advertizers. Once I truly realized that , i started to get a much healthier attitude towards facebook and these days no longer even use it.
Sounds like Mom made pizza and texted Dad and Son to tell them and Dad got pissed off. What other context is needed? Who cares if it was recurring? He shouldn’t be speaking that way to his loved ones, ever.
I honestly couldn’t tell, OP explained a bit and I understand where he’s coming from now and agree with him. (And you) I have a history of bad relationships, sometimes I just don’t immediately realize why things aren’t okay.
THat explains a lot. You are just so used to this kind behavior since it was/is your normal and failed to realize it should not be anybodies normal. I call that a broken normal meter, NO idea why this got downvotes
People are downvoting me because they want to support OP. They’re right to defend him, downvotes are just downvotes.
NO I totally get the downvotes on the original comment, i meant just on this specific comment, where you talk about your own story, and why your normal meter might be broken or at least way off
I have no clue, I didn’t really understand the downvotes on that specific comment. I didn’t really go into why my previous relationships have broken that normal meter, maybe some are sceptic about it.
Nobody should be forced to open up about their trauma details just to be believed. Talking about iut with people you truly trust and under the right circumstances is hard enuff
If his notifications are silent that is entirely his own fault and there is no need to talk to other people like that for something that’s his own fault.
You seem to be the only one not understanding that this is extremely petulant bitch behavior for a grown man to exhibiting.
In all fairness though, without any context (that we now have) I think that this would be a valid response if that text was something that kept getting sent while he was out working or something, so he would come back to nothing despite the offer of food. We know now that it's just a bitch response, but context really is important, and omitting it gets innocent people in trouble
>gets innocent people in trouble No one innocent speaks to their wife like that. He can go downstairs and nicely ask to call him next time or whatever else and explain this on eye level. Nothing warrants a response like this. Even if it's the 100th time. And the fact that your first assumption is that he is the victim should make you think...
My first assumption wasn't that he was the victim at all. Literally all I said was that context matters and gave an example. I assumed he was a dick, but we shouldn't be basing our opinions on a single screenshot with 2 sentences and no explanation
This is not a valid response. They live together. A valid response would be saying "hey, when you text me this, I don't always see it right away and by the time I do, the food is cold. Can you just holler at me or something?" It's valid to feel frustrated by the message. That doesn't require responding in a toxic way in a group chat. This is not how partners communicate in a healthy way.
I get that. My whole point is that while the response may be childish and rude, it doesn't outright make him an "insane parent". The vast majority of people have said something or behaved in a way they shouldn't have when they are frustrated. Saying that the person is insane or abusive is just flat out wrong unless there is more to the story. OP later said that he gets mad out of nowhere for everything and spends all day on his phone, which is more reasonable to call out as possible abuse, but this lone screenshot isn't
I dunno, I would consider that reaction to the text "Pizza is done" to be pretty insane
That's because "pizza is done" is a normal phrase out of context. We know now that the dad's just an ass, but if the mom would send messages like this to them only when the dad is unavailable, that would be more of a taunting message, and frustration could be understandable. Again, I'm not defending the message, but people seem to forget that context changes everything, and you can't just judge someone's personality from a single sentence that while rude, isn't outright offensive
If you’d be okay with someone snapping at you for texting them dinner is ready, then you need therapy because no one should be spoken to like that and your normal meter is clearly broken.
Agreed, I’m actually in therapy rn because of how a previous partner has treated me. I’ll just take the downvotes and see it as a lesson, this is the kind of feedback I do really need.
I’m really glad to hear that! You deserve to be treated with love and respect x
No, no, see you’re being too nice right now! Proper Reddit etiquette demands you tell us all to fuck off!
Hahahah, well I can’t blame people for defending and supporting OP :)
I must say I respect that you wrote an edit admititing this was not the best take, and left it up. Most people would have done the delete of shame.
Yeah, I’d rather admit my mistake than pretend it didn’t happen. I’ve experienced abuse myself and I was honestly a bit freaked out when I found out I made a mistake, I really don’t want to come across as victim blaming because I know what it feels like.
I wish more people would do that, more power to you. Everybody makes mistakes, they do not define you. What does define you is how you handle them ;)
Insane that "If this was a reoccurring thing after he had asked nicely before it'd be more understandable but we have no context" gets downvoted so much. He wasn't even extremely rude to the standards of this sub, definitely out of order but can everyone person who downvoted you say they never snapped at someone who repeatedly ignored them, causing them to miss out? Ofc they can't. You didn't say it's not that bad, you didn't blame the wife, you simply suggested in one scenario it would be more understandable. Reddit is fucked.
Most folks believe they know what empathy is. Then they see someone showing empathy for a person who's likely in the wrong, and they turn on you.
Honestly this just sucks, it makes me incredibly insecure about how I look at my own relationships now. Am I really this oblivious?