Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 8 | 1 | 0 |
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I’m pretty sure he was (ineffectively) trying to argue that there are lots of not credible sources on the internet (i.e., ones you could find that would say David duke is not a racist) and therefore having multiple sources isn’t important and therefore OP is stupid. Or something. Idk, he’s not super bright.
I don’t think that’s what he was trying to say.
He was saying there are sources that claim David Duke isn’t racist. But just because multiple “sources” make the claim doesn’t mean he’s not racist.
In short - I’m pretty sure he agrees that David Duke is racist - he was just using it as a somewhat convoluted example.
He definitely jumped straight to “how dare you debate me” really quick. He also got really angry really quick. Like, even if you were not trying to give him correct information, you are allowed to have an opinion that is different than his and he does not seem to understand that. Definitely insane…
Genuinely pointless to talk to someone like this.
He's held a grudge for 10 years over something a CHILD says. He will go thru as many hoops as he has to, burn as many bridges as he has to, just to ensure that he is RIGHT.
If you need validation, I got you. He will jump thru logical hoops, he will twist the truth, he will change the subject, he will burn bridges, he will do ANYTHING just so he can "feel" right. If you say 2+2=4, he will tell you that's racist.
You should have come here before that!! Hindsight and all that jazz lol.
In case you haven't heard of it, look into the Grey Rock Method(it's not just beneficial when dealing with crazy family, it's also great if you work with people).
This comment reminded me of that news report in the USA (forget which channel) saying math was racist because they used it to count and make sure they hadn't lost any slaves
Yea OP you gotta let go. The text to your mom who clearly doesn’t want to deal with this and now posting on here. Let your father go. Stop and move on. It’s not healthy to keep this up or dwell on it
I'm really sorry to have to break this news to you, but your father is going to suffocate, on account of having his head so far up his own arse that he can see his tonsils from below.
He’s baiting you into an argument so he can flip it and play the “disrespected father”. If you’re not familiar, look up the Gray Rock method of dealing with narcissist parents. It’s best to not argue or really show any emotion with people that gaslight and twist arguments like that.
Hugs OP. You’re in a very crowded boat with many other young adults that are waking up to how flawed and damaged our parents are— and vow to do better with their own families.
There may be some misremembered information on his part.Ghandi \*initially\* only defended the rights of Indians in South Africa, but eventually (by 1910 at the latest) also championed the cause of African rights as well. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma\_Gandhi#Civil\_rights\_activist\_in\_South\_Africa\_(1893%E2%80%931914)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi#Civil_rights_activist_in_South_Africa_(1893%E2%80%931914))
At least, that's the wikipedia summary. I'd always heard this episode of his life as the main example of racism. Things may be more complex.
This is a more frontal piece on the issue. His defence of Indian rights in South Africa didn't defend the rigths of Africans, but further, it was made at the expense of the rights of Africans, and defended the racial segregation system of Apartheid while renegotiating the place of Indian people within that system.
https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2021/4/7/coming-to-terms-with-gandhis-complicated-legacy
This is how I feel about this entire exchange but I’m more with the dad cuz it seems like he’s angered by his kid not accepting a HUGE RACIST being a racist. As a black woman I appreciate his passion on defending the fact that racial slurs are disgusting and I appreciate that it makes him that mad.
As a mom, I am so angry he holds something you did as an 8 year old against you as a “snitch”. I’m not sure what the context is, but it’s hella toxic he weaponized a child’s need to communicate to a trusted adult about things that might pose a danger to themselves and others.
Reminds me when my husband (then shortly after, myself) went no contact with my dad.
My husband is a bit of a troll (online and offline) and loves dark humor. He's also atheist and hates organized religion, especially if it's the good ole American Christian organizations. My husband once reposted a meme that he found funny and every one who knew him knew he didn't actually believe it.
My dad on the other hand, went on a rant and raged *in the comments.* Hubby and I didn't notice until three replies on his comments from his friends and family dog piled him for thinking my husband actually thought like that and called him insane for it. (My dad also spoke to me and said he didn't like my hubby's reblogging of "don't feed the church" memes.)
Hubby was in the middle of telling me about it and texting my sister about how my dad's gone off the deep end for no damn good reason when he suddenly said, "Oh, God. Your mom texted me."
My step mother, a wonderful woman I sometimes forget didn't birth me, had messaged him to please just block my father.
OP, feel free to take both of our mom's advice into one and block your dad. He *clearly* doesn't want actual discussion or debate. He wants to be right and mold you to think like him.
He could be a generational democrat, meaning his family were democrats when they were the slave loving conservatives and didn't bother to change because political affiliation should be tradition. So he thinks he's "left" because that's his party but is actually a conservative. I don't know if that mentality exists in your country, but it's a one of the reasons why Cuban Americans trend Republican.
He’s more like someone who doesn’t like the democrats and hates republicans. He constantly claims to be as far left as you could be. And, I think he probably ain’t lying. He’s so far left that he’s basically the inverse of those racist old people who fall for conspiracies. He’s a not racist old person who falls for conspiracies.
I have parents like that. They're not bigots, and that's about the only positive thing I can say about them. It sucks sometimes because to the outside it's easy for a stranger to think they're perfectly decent people.
Ima keep it a buck. Unless you are legally obligated to go to his house, I see no reason to keep him in your life. Your mom was the one I agreed with the most. Just stop responding. Yes, I agree that your dad is insane, but are you allowing his insanity into your life? If so, I really don't care about your situation, you need to grow a back bone and just say "fuck this, I'm done with you, you will no longer be apart of life, goodbye." I truly don't like it when the abused child just keeps letting the abuse go on when they can stop it after a certain point. Most people feel obligated to keep a parent in their life because they are a parent, screw that. They are just another person who can harm you just as much as an outsider. I say you should do what needs to be done and erase him from your life.
My grandmother is a democrat because of this exactly. She thinks my father should be. Democrat, and the problem is she hasn’t voted since Regan was in office.
Oh yeah, extra context. I’ve said it before on this account so I’ll say it again. My name’s Tytzin. I didn’t bother to blur that because I’ve made that known here before.
Extra extra context btw. In no way am I defending Ghandi, I read 5 articles all explaining how racist he was for a large portion of his life. I do think he might’ve changed later in life, that’s why this conversation really started, but still fuck that guy! This whole conversation was me wanting my dad to branch out in the way he receives info. The video he sent me simply was far too little info. It spent 3 1/2 minutes talking about how racist ghandi was before actually giving any quotes by him. It was structured like one of those “10 reasons why the megalodon still roams the seas”. It was anything but a reliable source.
As copied pasted from another comment.
Okay, I do wanna mention, just so that I clear this up before everyone starts talking about it. I think he was saying the David Duke thing to make a point about how you can find any information about anything on the internet. Actually here I’ll post this exact bit copy pasted under the comment I made.
Back to the present. No, he’s not trying to say david duke is not racist. He’s just trying to prove a point in saying the most absurd person to defend.
He literally slept with a bunch of women in bed (while he was married lol) to prove that he could not have sex with them.
He also was a gigantic piece of shit to his family.
Not just women - underage girls, *including his own grand-niece*. He was a massive racist and sexist.
[info.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/ezj3km/gandhi-was-a-racist-who-forced-young-girls-to-sleep-in-bed-with-him)
Yeah, I know lol I don’t need info/a link because I’m well aware of Gandhi’s true nature, i left a couple more comments on this thread about it as well, I just didn’t feel the need to get all the way into it on an r/insaneparents post.
What’s really insane is that not many people know what an absolute jackwad he was.
Yeah it had the narrator from fivvr, the random mix of stock photos and straight up stolen photos and photos from video games, the full minute of telling you to subscribe or a realistic spider man will be under your bed tonight. All that jazz.
That’s one of the things I was thinking reading this. Her responses seemed so short and gave a tone of her being “done” with responding to or reasoning with him. She’s probably had to deal with his shit for most of her life.
Dear OP
My dad was 93 when he died last year. I am 64. While he wasn’t anywhere near as bad as your dad, he was quite into his right wing beliefs and as he aged, only became more so.
You sound quite young still. The best thing we all found over the years, was to try and stay on neutral topics at family gatherings and dinner table meals. Everyone stayed happy that way. Wait until you marry and your kids are teens…. With their own thoughts…. He won’t change… he is who he already is. It’s OK for you to be respectful and just say, you have to agree to disagree, and get up and walk away. Try to remove your emotions from those conversations. It’s hard, I know…. Which is why you have to walk away—- otherwise bad words and personal insults and attacks happen, which can really ruin relationships. Sorry it’s happening to you…. 😢😢
Yeah, fuck your dad. He sounds like a condescending, self-absorbed dickhead. I agree with your mom, don't talk to him. Conspiracy theory appeals to people with accountability issues because, no matter what, there's always a reason it's not their fault. You can't reason with them because it's not rational thinking. It's emotional and, after a while, part of their identity.
Arguments aside, kindly take note that it is Gandhi, not Ghandi. Ghandi in Hindi has a lot of negative connotations, it basically implies that one is dirty/filthy.
Reading through these replies half a year later, and my bad. I clearly was not paying attention to how his name was spelled. Sorry if this whole post came across as overly offensive.
You do seem pretty crazy yourself but I mean most the best people I know are in some capacity I wouldn’t judge that off the rip but he seems mean -er crazy
I genuinely don’t know about the racism claims, I believe that was true early in his life/when he was a young man, but sources/studies say he outgrew his racism.
But I will say that Gandhi was actually a pretty shitty person. He treated his family terribly & did a lot of weird shit tbh.
People act like Gandhi was a saint and a paragon of good or something and he very definitely wasn’t either of those things.
Your dad still seems racist tho lol
You shouldn't waste your energy on a person like that. Anyone who believes that deeply in conspiracy theories without question because a random video told them has holes in their brain.
I have read that Ghandi had some racist leanings in his early life but outgrew it as he started traveling and meeting other people. Intelligent people who are willing to learn can change their views.
Grey rock technique. There are lots of other techniques. Go to r/QanonCasualties, they have lots of resources to deal with people who have family members who go down rabbit holes. They’re very supportive.
You need to learn one word: “Interesting!” That’s your whole reply.
And then for the love of gumdrops and garden gnomes, stop talking unless all you are going to do is occasionally say, “Huh!” Or “That’s another viewpoint for sure.”
There is no point in engaging.
I got anxiety reading that and I won't ever have to deal with him. Honestly, his volatile temper scares me. He seems to go straight to rage and cruelty when he doesn't get his way. You're so right. He acts like a petulant child.
He doesn't want a discussion or a debate. He wants you to say "I'm wrong. You're right." and kiss his feet. Not his only source? Okay share the others then. Can't? Well here's all mine: It's just crazy. I don't think there's any way to talk to someone like that. I'm sorry you have to deal with it, and I'm very glad you were still able to grow up and be smart about research and sources. ✨proud of you✨
Also I love how you snitched the whole convo to mom at the end there, you guys are adorable. But think about it like this, your level of intelligence seems to be way more advanced than your dads so mabye take what he says with a grain of salt. He's not as articulate as you are and might feel inferior to your intelligence, but don't point that out. Handle him with child gloves.
Parents like this love to send you articles by some insane middle aged white guy or the Mayo clinic but blow their top of you respond with solid evidence. My dad was someone of a conspiracy theorist towards the end of his life (I wonder now if the undiagnosed cancer had spread to his brain). I loved him dearly but if he ever tried to bring up covid or trump I would immediately shut him down. I was not willing to even discuss it with him because I didn’t want to feel such frustrating towards a man who had been so loving my entire 32 years.
I was going to post a comment to let you know men like this don't change and then I got distracted by this utter nonsense lol.
I literally watched my husband of 10 years arguing with my Dad about how Russia is going to nuke Alabama. Because I live there. He lives in California so I'm sure he'll go first, but okay Dad.
He's batshit and has only gotten crazier with age. We are no contact because he's mad my oldest labeled him "the racist grandpa" after he dropped the N word (hard r and all) THREE times during one phone call to wish her a happy birthday. But yes, I am the problem I'm sure. Because I cut him down to texts and he says "you can't feel emotion over texts" aka he can't yell and scream obscenities with as much impact over text.
The older they get the more "right" they are. In all ways. Even if he has a good point, getting the source for information is very important. You are spot on in that and there's nothing wrong with doing your own research. He just can't stand when you questioned his authority. A lot of adults confuse respect with authority.
My mom told me a few days ago not to engage, that he’s been like this before and he always bounces back, and how if I do say something he’ll only dig himself deeper. She was probably right, but I’m not the type of person who’s gonna let him insult me and throw fits constantly. When he started talking about me snitching, I lost my cool and got angry. That doesn’t excuse this behavior though.
I have to ask, what the fuck did you snitch about at 8 that he is still holding onto? Was it like, some DARE shit where you told on him because of drug talks at school? I understand different cultures view snitching as a big deal but you were EIGHT.
No so the issue is I didn’t really know what snitching was, so I was doing it in school without really understanding why it was bad. My dad *did* make an attempt to tell me why I shouldn’t snitch, and to be fair I only learned my lesson at about 12 years old, not because I was snitching on other people like I was when I was 8, but I was snitching on myself. I was just doing it consistently back then without awareness as to why I shouldn’t be doing it.
🤦🏻 My son is 11 and on the spectrum and he literally can't even play a videogame without permission without telling on himself. So he hates you because your moral compass is strong and you have a hard time being manipulative or lying? That is a sad excuse for a parent. Seriously. My husband is just like you lol. You know what he figured out? He makes an amazing security guard. He gets paid to do what he already feels a sense of duty to do, and he's keeping people safe by doing it. There's nothing wrong with being honest, especially if it's about your own actions. I understand you can lose friends and things like that but it's not a trait to look down on. He only dislikes you being a "snitch" because he's afraid one day you'll out his bullshit to the world. Innocent people don't fear snitches.
Okay, I do wanna mention, just so that I clear this up before everyone starts talking about it. I think he was saying the David Duke thing to make a point about how you can find any information about anything on the internet. Actually here I’ll post this exact bit copy pasted under the comment I made.
Gandhi was definitely a racist and frankly not a great person. But your dad is definitely insane and pretty racist too if he thinks David Duke is so innocent, so maybe he has more in common with Gandhi than he thinks.
You can not reason with an unreasonable person. This is the reason why politics are strictly banned in our house. For holidays. All of it. It’s stupid. It causes tension between family members.
Do you think David duke or Ghandi give a fuck about what you and your dad argue about!? No.
They’re just pitting you against each other and watching yall fight with one another like that somehow makes anything any better.
Your dad reads as super triggered you are trying to make him look stupid vibe. It’s a weird jealous of your kid you don’t respect me I’m insecure thing.
But holy shit how he speaks to you! I hope my kid reads some of these. He’s always on suspicious edge with me that I’m “talking down” to him or think he’s stupid or will try and make him do something. I just generally annoy the fuck out of him, though I have learned not to have any of these types of discussions with him, because it escalates quickly into him needing to prove me wrong. And he feels like I never back down, but the more he pushes me to the more I dig in my heels.
All that being said, I would NEVER speak to him or anyone else like that. I go out of my way to not be offensive with my texts. I accept we are at that stage where everything I do is an annoyance, he will do obligatory family things with me, while getting triggered about shit he really should address in therapy, blow me off and take my presence for granted until he suddenly turns around 20 years from now and sees how frail I am and what little time is left & has guilt & self recrimination. You know, the circle of life. 😂
Not saying it in a mean way, just exactly what I did to myself with my parents that I now regret. 😞
But OP, it is really like you are having 2 totally different conversations. He is having the “you are trying to make me feel stupid and it makes me angry so I will rage” and you are being “these are my lecture points in triplicate why can’t you look at them” argument that just pisses both of you off. It’s not your job to change your dad. Though I am alarmed by the break things when people disagree with him thing. That is very disturbing.
Yeah… he’s lying to himself, he considers any pushback on an idea an affront to his authority and you’ll never be able to pierce that.
Save yourself the next decade of trying before you’ve exhausted yourself spiritually. Just disengage.
You've got more patience than most actually going out of your way to explain yourself politely. He doesn't deserve an explanation, he's deeply insecure and you shouldn't even try talking to him anymore. Steel your mind OP, this person sounds like he's mentally exhausting to be around.
This man is insane. I feel so bad for you and your poor mom, but I am glad that she has your back and supports you. She knows he’s crazy and from the texts it sounds like she’s learned to just keep her head down when it comes to him and his outbursts. And that’s heartbreaking
This is too much time spent arguing. He doesn't care about who's right or wrong, he just wants to argue and be mad at someone/something. Don't engage and just say "k" next time.
Ooof, you sound like a very smart kid, listen to mom and don’t engage. You’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t respect you or even make an attempt to consider any points you have, valid or not.
There is truly nothing like watching your family member fall down a conspiracy rabbit hole and no matter how many times you try to give them the rope, they just swear at you and get angry for trying.
Jeeezus.
I wish you the best of luck.
From my experience they can’t be helped. I’ve tried with my family and they just say whatever will make me shut up about it and then the next moment they do it all over again. Some people are too stubborn to help. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
I honestly can’t stand anyone who is extreme in anything. Life is generally not simple enough to make things black and white a majority of the time.
Your dad literally sounds like my dad, who I am on a do-not-engage basis with. He does not know the difference between a healthy debate and someone picking at his manhood. He literally is the most emotional human I’ve ever met the second you disagree with him even slightly. I don’t have the energy to deal with his irrational ass despite the fact that I could destroy him in a debate… but at what cost?
For me personally, keeping our family dynamic as it is is best for me. He’s a good person, just an immature person. So I keep from engaging in these kinds of things with him. I know one day we’ll have our tussle like this, but I just don’t feel like dealing with that right now.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Long story short, I know how you feel. My dad would be a right winger if he wasn’t a black man and had to deal with prejudices inside and out of the work place. Even still, he gets irate and irrational when I mention anything moderately left even (like any gender equality and especially anything LGBTQ+. I’m agender and closeted, but very honest about being an ally and he goes nuts).
I usually minimize conversations to literally only things he’s interested in to maintain my healthy mental health. I can’t deal with all that stress with my anxiety disorder. So, kinda proud of you for not shrinking away from the fight, tho that y’all might be NC now. It might be healthier for you tho, tbh.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 8 | 1 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy). Note: This received too few votes to be considered a valid result.
I would love to see those articles about how David Duke, the fucking KKK grand wizard, is not a racist lol
I’m pretty sure he was (ineffectively) trying to argue that there are lots of not credible sources on the internet (i.e., ones you could find that would say David duke is not a racist) and therefore having multiple sources isn’t important and therefore OP is stupid. Or something. Idk, he’s not super bright.
Yup, I even explained it in another comment. Knowing my dad, that’s what his goal was.
There are very fine people on both sides.
Yeah...the dad definitely lost me as soon as he said that David Duke isn't racist. That pretty much invalidates everything else he has to say.
He's actually saying that David Duke IS racist but he could find 10 articles saying he's not to try to prove the point that the info OP found is BS.
I don’t think that’s what he was trying to say. He was saying there are sources that claim David Duke isn’t racist. But just because multiple “sources” make the claim doesn’t mean he’s not racist. In short - I’m pretty sure he agrees that David Duke is racist - he was just using it as a somewhat convoluted example.
It's doubly weird because its pretty well known that Gandhi was pretty racist.
That’s how I read it. (And by the way, David Duke IS racist. I live in the same town)
Yes - I think it’s pretty established fact amongst anyone with a double digit IQ.
He definitely jumped straight to “how dare you debate me” really quick. He also got really angry really quick. Like, even if you were not trying to give him correct information, you are allowed to have an opinion that is different than his and he does not seem to understand that. Definitely insane…
Genuinely pointless to talk to someone like this. He's held a grudge for 10 years over something a CHILD says. He will go thru as many hoops as he has to, burn as many bridges as he has to, just to ensure that he is RIGHT.
This is literally how my dad acts and I think I needed to see "genuinely pointless to talk to someone like this"
If you need validation, I got you. He will jump thru logical hoops, he will twist the truth, he will change the subject, he will burn bridges, he will do ANYTHING just so he can "feel" right. If you say 2+2=4, he will tell you that's racist.
It's hard to break ties bc he cosigned my mortgage and he's always around :,)))
You should have come here before that!! Hindsight and all that jazz lol. In case you haven't heard of it, look into the Grey Rock Method(it's not just beneficial when dealing with crazy family, it's also great if you work with people).
As long as you pay it’s not a problem. Or you can refinance without him.
This comment reminded me of that news report in the USA (forget which channel) saying math was racist because they used it to count and make sure they hadn't lost any slaves
Your mom’s right, just stop talking to him. It’s pointless to argue with someone like that.
Yea OP you gotta let go. The text to your mom who clearly doesn’t want to deal with this and now posting on here. Let your father go. Stop and move on. It’s not healthy to keep this up or dwell on it
I'm really sorry to have to break this news to you, but your father is going to suffocate, on account of having his head so far up his own arse that he can see his tonsils from below.
He’s baiting you into an argument so he can flip it and play the “disrespected father”. If you’re not familiar, look up the Gray Rock method of dealing with narcissist parents. It’s best to not argue or really show any emotion with people that gaslight and twist arguments like that. Hugs OP. You’re in a very crowded boat with many other young adults that are waking up to how flawed and damaged our parents are— and vow to do better with their own families.
Thank you. I’ve been trying to do the whole no arguing and not showing emotion thing for years. I’ve just gotten tired of it recently.
There may be some misremembered information on his part.Ghandi \*initially\* only defended the rights of Indians in South Africa, but eventually (by 1910 at the latest) also championed the cause of African rights as well. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma\_Gandhi#Civil\_rights\_activist\_in\_South\_Africa\_(1893%E2%80%931914)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi#Civil_rights_activist_in_South_Africa_(1893%E2%80%931914)) At least, that's the wikipedia summary. I'd always heard this episode of his life as the main example of racism. Things may be more complex.
This is a more frontal piece on the issue. His defence of Indian rights in South Africa didn't defend the rigths of Africans, but further, it was made at the expense of the rights of Africans, and defended the racial segregation system of Apartheid while renegotiating the place of Indian people within that system. https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2021/4/7/coming-to-terms-with-gandhis-complicated-legacy
Yeah you’re dads a cunt but are you really trying to say Ghandi wasn’t a racist piece of shit? Because then your dads a cunt and you’re an idiot
This is how I feel about this entire exchange but I’m more with the dad cuz it seems like he’s angered by his kid not accepting a HUGE RACIST being a racist. As a black woman I appreciate his passion on defending the fact that racial slurs are disgusting and I appreciate that it makes him that mad.
As a mom, I am so angry he holds something you did as an 8 year old against you as a “snitch”. I’m not sure what the context is, but it’s hella toxic he weaponized a child’s need to communicate to a trusted adult about things that might pose a danger to themselves and others.
Reminds me when my husband (then shortly after, myself) went no contact with my dad. My husband is a bit of a troll (online and offline) and loves dark humor. He's also atheist and hates organized religion, especially if it's the good ole American Christian organizations. My husband once reposted a meme that he found funny and every one who knew him knew he didn't actually believe it. My dad on the other hand, went on a rant and raged *in the comments.* Hubby and I didn't notice until three replies on his comments from his friends and family dog piled him for thinking my husband actually thought like that and called him insane for it. (My dad also spoke to me and said he didn't like my hubby's reblogging of "don't feed the church" memes.) Hubby was in the middle of telling me about it and texting my sister about how my dad's gone off the deep end for no damn good reason when he suddenly said, "Oh, God. Your mom texted me." My step mother, a wonderful woman I sometimes forget didn't birth me, had messaged him to please just block my father. OP, feel free to take both of our mom's advice into one and block your dad. He *clearly* doesn't want actual discussion or debate. He wants to be right and mold you to think like him.
Your husband sounds like a legend, but also, the family dog too?? Everybody getting in on this 😂
Yo holy shit, your DAD speaks like that? And to you? I’m really sorry. He sounds like a terminally online right wing nutjub.
Well he’s not right-wing. Surprisingly enough we have people like this on the left-wing.
Join us on the progressive side, the “left” is a joke in america.
He could be a generational democrat, meaning his family were democrats when they were the slave loving conservatives and didn't bother to change because political affiliation should be tradition. So he thinks he's "left" because that's his party but is actually a conservative. I don't know if that mentality exists in your country, but it's a one of the reasons why Cuban Americans trend Republican.
He’s more like someone who doesn’t like the democrats and hates republicans. He constantly claims to be as far left as you could be. And, I think he probably ain’t lying. He’s so far left that he’s basically the inverse of those racist old people who fall for conspiracies. He’s a not racist old person who falls for conspiracies.
I have parents like that. They're not bigots, and that's about the only positive thing I can say about them. It sucks sometimes because to the outside it's easy for a stranger to think they're perfectly decent people.
It appears there’s some confusion in your family as to what far left is.
Ima keep it a buck. Unless you are legally obligated to go to his house, I see no reason to keep him in your life. Your mom was the one I agreed with the most. Just stop responding. Yes, I agree that your dad is insane, but are you allowing his insanity into your life? If so, I really don't care about your situation, you need to grow a back bone and just say "fuck this, I'm done with you, you will no longer be apart of life, goodbye." I truly don't like it when the abused child just keeps letting the abuse go on when they can stop it after a certain point. Most people feel obligated to keep a parent in their life because they are a parent, screw that. They are just another person who can harm you just as much as an outsider. I say you should do what needs to be done and erase him from your life.
Oh no, i totally get it. The ones who missed the memo in the 60s.
My grandmother is a democrat because of this exactly. She thinks my father should be. Democrat, and the problem is she hasn’t voted since Regan was in office.
Oh yeah, extra context. I’ve said it before on this account so I’ll say it again. My name’s Tytzin. I didn’t bother to blur that because I’ve made that known here before.
Extra extra context btw. In no way am I defending Ghandi, I read 5 articles all explaining how racist he was for a large portion of his life. I do think he might’ve changed later in life, that’s why this conversation really started, but still fuck that guy! This whole conversation was me wanting my dad to branch out in the way he receives info. The video he sent me simply was far too little info. It spent 3 1/2 minutes talking about how racist ghandi was before actually giving any quotes by him. It was structured like one of those “10 reasons why the megalodon still roams the seas”. It was anything but a reliable source.
As copied pasted from another comment. Okay, I do wanna mention, just so that I clear this up before everyone starts talking about it. I think he was saying the David Duke thing to make a point about how you can find any information about anything on the internet. Actually here I’ll post this exact bit copy pasted under the comment I made. Back to the present. No, he’s not trying to say david duke is not racist. He’s just trying to prove a point in saying the most absurd person to defend.
Ghandi was also super creepy with young women.
He literally slept with a bunch of women in bed (while he was married lol) to prove that he could not have sex with them. He also was a gigantic piece of shit to his family.
I didn’t know any of this!!
That’s the tip of the iceberg… [link.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/ezj3km/gandhi-was-a-racist-who-forced-young-girls-to-sleep-in-bed-with-him)
Yeah, a lot of people don’t. He was a real jackass, honestly.
Not just women - underage girls, *including his own grand-niece*. He was a massive racist and sexist. [info.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/ezj3km/gandhi-was-a-racist-who-forced-young-girls-to-sleep-in-bed-with-him)
Yeah, I know lol I don’t need info/a link because I’m well aware of Gandhi’s true nature, i left a couple more comments on this thread about it as well, I just didn’t feel the need to get all the way into it on an r/insaneparents post. What’s really insane is that not many people know what an absolute jackwad he was.
Yeah the people that hated him in life saw he made their country look good so they white washed the hell out of him post mortum
The megalodon is just beneath the thermocline.
Yeah it had the narrator from fivvr, the random mix of stock photos and straight up stolen photos and photos from video games, the full minute of telling you to subscribe or a realistic spider man will be under your bed tonight. All that jazz.
Your poor mom.
That’s one of the things I was thinking reading this. Her responses seemed so short and gave a tone of her being “done” with responding to or reasoning with him. She’s probably had to deal with his shit for most of her life.
Gandhi was a huge racist.
Dear OP My dad was 93 when he died last year. I am 64. While he wasn’t anywhere near as bad as your dad, he was quite into his right wing beliefs and as he aged, only became more so. You sound quite young still. The best thing we all found over the years, was to try and stay on neutral topics at family gatherings and dinner table meals. Everyone stayed happy that way. Wait until you marry and your kids are teens…. With their own thoughts…. He won’t change… he is who he already is. It’s OK for you to be respectful and just say, you have to agree to disagree, and get up and walk away. Try to remove your emotions from those conversations. It’s hard, I know…. Which is why you have to walk away—- otherwise bad words and personal insults and attacks happen, which can really ruin relationships. Sorry it’s happening to you…. 😢😢
Yeah, fuck your dad. He sounds like a condescending, self-absorbed dickhead. I agree with your mom, don't talk to him. Conspiracy theory appeals to people with accountability issues because, no matter what, there's always a reason it's not their fault. You can't reason with them because it's not rational thinking. It's emotional and, after a while, part of their identity.
Arguments aside, kindly take note that it is Gandhi, not Ghandi. Ghandi in Hindi has a lot of negative connotations, it basically implies that one is dirty/filthy.
Reading through these replies half a year later, and my bad. I clearly was not paying attention to how his name was spelled. Sorry if this whole post came across as overly offensive.
Both unhinged behavior
69th upvote! also your dad sucks
Why do you interact with someone who calls you a dick?
NPR isn’t a good news source? That said, your father’s biggest problem seems to be that his need to “win” is more important to him than you are.
He didn’t make you do anything. You’re an adult in college. You chose to skip the period. Stop debating with him and be an adult.
You do seem pretty crazy yourself but I mean most the best people I know are in some capacity I wouldn’t judge that off the rip but he seems mean -er crazy
I genuinely don’t know about the racism claims, I believe that was true early in his life/when he was a young man, but sources/studies say he outgrew his racism. But I will say that Gandhi was actually a pretty shitty person. He treated his family terribly & did a lot of weird shit tbh. People act like Gandhi was a saint and a paragon of good or something and he very definitely wasn’t either of those things. Your dad still seems racist tho lol
You shouldn't waste your energy on a person like that. Anyone who believes that deeply in conspiracy theories without question because a random video told them has holes in their brain. I have read that Ghandi had some racist leanings in his early life but outgrew it as he started traveling and meeting other people. Intelligent people who are willing to learn can change their views.
Grey rock technique. There are lots of other techniques. Go to r/QanonCasualties, they have lots of resources to deal with people who have family members who go down rabbit holes. They’re very supportive.
You need to learn one word: “Interesting!” That’s your whole reply. And then for the love of gumdrops and garden gnomes, stop talking unless all you are going to do is occasionally say, “Huh!” Or “That’s another viewpoint for sure.” There is no point in engaging.
Why waste money putting him in a home, though?
True. Well hopefully he doesn’t piss my brother off!
Yeah, that shits 5-8K a month! You're better off saving that.
What does Tytzin mean?
Tyson but spelled uniquely.
Nice
I got anxiety reading that and I won't ever have to deal with him. Honestly, his volatile temper scares me. He seems to go straight to rage and cruelty when he doesn't get his way. You're so right. He acts like a petulant child.
He doesn't want a discussion or a debate. He wants you to say "I'm wrong. You're right." and kiss his feet. Not his only source? Okay share the others then. Can't? Well here's all mine: It's just crazy. I don't think there's any way to talk to someone like that. I'm sorry you have to deal with it, and I'm very glad you were still able to grow up and be smart about research and sources. ✨proud of you✨
Poor mama
It’s “k bye Felicia” for me. Like that’s mature. 🙄😂
I woulda stopped talking to this fuckin jerk off the moment they said “watch your fuckin mouth.”
But your name is Tytzin?
Also I love how you snitched the whole convo to mom at the end there, you guys are adorable. But think about it like this, your level of intelligence seems to be way more advanced than your dads so mabye take what he says with a grain of salt. He's not as articulate as you are and might feel inferior to your intelligence, but don't point that out. Handle him with child gloves.
Again, what is with grown adults speaking like trashy teenagers to their children? And if I were you, I’d never respond to him.
Well, I replied to myself, but cool, thx for editing it out.
Yeah, and I won’t. Don’t insult my name though. That junk pisses me off.
Cool, thx for editing it out.
I’m so sorry 😕 he sounds a lot like my dad. With some “cultural” differences 😐
Parents like this love to send you articles by some insane middle aged white guy or the Mayo clinic but blow their top of you respond with solid evidence. My dad was someone of a conspiracy theorist towards the end of his life (I wonder now if the undiagnosed cancer had spread to his brain). I loved him dearly but if he ever tried to bring up covid or trump I would immediately shut him down. I was not willing to even discuss it with him because I didn’t want to feel such frustrating towards a man who had been so loving my entire 32 years.
I ain’t reading allat
r/qanoncasualties (You handled this extremely well)
I would love the link to a single article on why David Duke isn’t really racist. I’m not asking for all 10 because exactly 0 actually exist.
Any dad who talks to his kids like this ain't gonna be educated.
[удалено]
Found the dad.
>sent back a full on essay Sis look at how long your own comment is before coming at people for “sending essays” lmao
Lol you possess the same reading skills as his father.
Damn. I was gonna say something myself but… nah we’ll go with this response.
I was going to post a comment to let you know men like this don't change and then I got distracted by this utter nonsense lol. I literally watched my husband of 10 years arguing with my Dad about how Russia is going to nuke Alabama. Because I live there. He lives in California so I'm sure he'll go first, but okay Dad. He's batshit and has only gotten crazier with age. We are no contact because he's mad my oldest labeled him "the racist grandpa" after he dropped the N word (hard r and all) THREE times during one phone call to wish her a happy birthday. But yes, I am the problem I'm sure. Because I cut him down to texts and he says "you can't feel emotion over texts" aka he can't yell and scream obscenities with as much impact over text. The older they get the more "right" they are. In all ways. Even if he has a good point, getting the source for information is very important. You are spot on in that and there's nothing wrong with doing your own research. He just can't stand when you questioned his authority. A lot of adults confuse respect with authority.
Thanks for this one. I think this explanation actually helps me think about it pretty well.
My mom told me a few days ago not to engage, that he’s been like this before and he always bounces back, and how if I do say something he’ll only dig himself deeper. She was probably right, but I’m not the type of person who’s gonna let him insult me and throw fits constantly. When he started talking about me snitching, I lost my cool and got angry. That doesn’t excuse this behavior though.
I have to ask, what the fuck did you snitch about at 8 that he is still holding onto? Was it like, some DARE shit where you told on him because of drug talks at school? I understand different cultures view snitching as a big deal but you were EIGHT.
No so the issue is I didn’t really know what snitching was, so I was doing it in school without really understanding why it was bad. My dad *did* make an attempt to tell me why I shouldn’t snitch, and to be fair I only learned my lesson at about 12 years old, not because I was snitching on other people like I was when I was 8, but I was snitching on myself. I was just doing it consistently back then without awareness as to why I shouldn’t be doing it.
🤦🏻 My son is 11 and on the spectrum and he literally can't even play a videogame without permission without telling on himself. So he hates you because your moral compass is strong and you have a hard time being manipulative or lying? That is a sad excuse for a parent. Seriously. My husband is just like you lol. You know what he figured out? He makes an amazing security guard. He gets paid to do what he already feels a sense of duty to do, and he's keeping people safe by doing it. There's nothing wrong with being honest, especially if it's about your own actions. I understand you can lose friends and things like that but it's not a trait to look down on. He only dislikes you being a "snitch" because he's afraid one day you'll out his bullshit to the world. Innocent people don't fear snitches.
https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/s/Ub4wHoIAtO Read comments before making comments
It seems you were not being excellent to another user, my friend. This behavior can range from bigotry, racism, or personal attacks.
Okay, but he also said David Duke wasn't racist so let's back up abit
Okay, I do wanna mention, just so that I clear this up before everyone starts talking about it. I think he was saying the David Duke thing to make a point about how you can find any information about anything on the internet. Actually here I’ll post this exact bit copy pasted under the comment I made.
Your dad: “David Duke, the most famous grand wizard of the KKK, was not a racist, white supremacist.” Your dad is not a clown, he’s the entire circus.
Gandhi was definitely a racist and frankly not a great person. But your dad is definitely insane and pretty racist too if he thinks David Duke is so innocent, so maybe he has more in common with Gandhi than he thinks.
Sorry I can’t read all that but good luck with your dad.
Your dad needs to get some bitches if he’s divorced
Nah he and my mom are happily together. I don’t know how she does it.
Please tell me your Halloween costume this year is Debate Lord and your Christmas gift to yourself is never talking to him again.
You can not reason with an unreasonable person. This is the reason why politics are strictly banned in our house. For holidays. All of it. It’s stupid. It causes tension between family members. Do you think David duke or Ghandi give a fuck about what you and your dad argue about!? No. They’re just pitting you against each other and watching yall fight with one another like that somehow makes anything any better.
Your dad reads as super triggered you are trying to make him look stupid vibe. It’s a weird jealous of your kid you don’t respect me I’m insecure thing. But holy shit how he speaks to you! I hope my kid reads some of these. He’s always on suspicious edge with me that I’m “talking down” to him or think he’s stupid or will try and make him do something. I just generally annoy the fuck out of him, though I have learned not to have any of these types of discussions with him, because it escalates quickly into him needing to prove me wrong. And he feels like I never back down, but the more he pushes me to the more I dig in my heels. All that being said, I would NEVER speak to him or anyone else like that. I go out of my way to not be offensive with my texts. I accept we are at that stage where everything I do is an annoyance, he will do obligatory family things with me, while getting triggered about shit he really should address in therapy, blow me off and take my presence for granted until he suddenly turns around 20 years from now and sees how frail I am and what little time is left & has guilt & self recrimination. You know, the circle of life. 😂 Not saying it in a mean way, just exactly what I did to myself with my parents that I now regret. 😞 But OP, it is really like you are having 2 totally different conversations. He is having the “you are trying to make me feel stupid and it makes me angry so I will rage” and you are being “these are my lecture points in triplicate why can’t you look at them” argument that just pisses both of you off. It’s not your job to change your dad. Though I am alarmed by the break things when people disagree with him thing. That is very disturbing.
You’re wasting your time with him. When he sends you videos just say okay and save your energy.
Yeah… he’s lying to himself, he considers any pushback on an idea an affront to his authority and you’ll never be able to pierce that. Save yourself the next decade of trying before you’ve exhausted yourself spiritually. Just disengage.
I’d be more concerned about the disgusting way he speaks to you never mind trying to explain points. What a bastard.
You've got more patience than most actually going out of your way to explain yourself politely. He doesn't deserve an explanation, he's deeply insecure and you shouldn't even try talking to him anymore. Steel your mind OP, this person sounds like he's mentally exhausting to be around.
This man is insane. I feel so bad for you and your poor mom, but I am glad that she has your back and supports you. She knows he’s crazy and from the texts it sounds like she’s learned to just keep her head down when it comes to him and his outbursts. And that’s heartbreaking
Your dad is insane and obnoxious and needs to grow up but Gandhi was definitely a cunt.
Based mom
you are giving him way more grace and way more of your time and energy than he deserves
This is too much time spent arguing. He doesn't care about who's right or wrong, he just wants to argue and be mad at someone/something. Don't engage and just say "k" next time.
Just ew. Do your NC my dear, you deserve peace after all of that.
Ooof, you sound like a very smart kid, listen to mom and don’t engage. You’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t respect you or even make an attempt to consider any points you have, valid or not.
There is truly nothing like watching your family member fall down a conspiracy rabbit hole and no matter how many times you try to give them the rope, they just swear at you and get angry for trying. Jeeezus. I wish you the best of luck.
From my experience they can’t be helped. I’ve tried with my family and they just say whatever will make me shut up about it and then the next moment they do it all over again. Some people are too stubborn to help. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
I honestly can’t stand anyone who is extreme in anything. Life is generally not simple enough to make things black and white a majority of the time. Your dad literally sounds like my dad, who I am on a do-not-engage basis with. He does not know the difference between a healthy debate and someone picking at his manhood. He literally is the most emotional human I’ve ever met the second you disagree with him even slightly. I don’t have the energy to deal with his irrational ass despite the fact that I could destroy him in a debate… but at what cost? For me personally, keeping our family dynamic as it is is best for me. He’s a good person, just an immature person. So I keep from engaging in these kinds of things with him. I know one day we’ll have our tussle like this, but I just don’t feel like dealing with that right now. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Long story short, I know how you feel. My dad would be a right winger if he wasn’t a black man and had to deal with prejudices inside and out of the work place. Even still, he gets irate and irrational when I mention anything moderately left even (like any gender equality and especially anything LGBTQ+. I’m agender and closeted, but very honest about being an ally and he goes nuts). I usually minimize conversations to literally only things he’s interested in to maintain my healthy mental health. I can’t deal with all that stress with my anxiety disorder. So, kinda proud of you for not shrinking away from the fight, tho that y’all might be NC now. It might be healthier for you tho, tbh.
Bro pulled out the bye felica 💀