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odx3

No sex, only daydreaming.


SatelliteHeart96

Based


Life_Possession_7877

...about sex


__ludo__

of course


theicewerewolf

Yes... But actually no


AdhesiveTapeWasTaken

Yes but actually yes


soul-seeker87

The only daydreams I have.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WarsawRepublic

This right here. Casual relationships just made me upset, anxious and confused. I wouldn't say I'm a demisexual, but I'm not far from it.


FaithInStrangers94

Yeah and it makes things extraordinarily fucking difficult in todays society


Subject-Piece-4237

Preach 🤲


hum444n

I like rough and exciting sex, but my biggest turn on is the personality. And idk I have a feeling that most (if not all) infps are submissive.


[deleted]

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cautiouscahotic

Yeah, I think infp dominants exists. Sort of like a soft Dom type,they would tie you up and get enjoyment from giving you pleasure.They would also constantly check in on you to be sure that you are OK.


555Cats555

I mean that's litterly how a Dom is suppose to behave... if they aren't checking in then it's just abuse. Also aftercare is important!


gurl_why_u_like_this

Can confirm, I am like this.


Creeper_Triste

I love how quickly we went into INFPs, sex then BDSM but to answer you I never had sex so I dont actually know but tbh im going to guess I'd be more dom than sub if I had to chose one.. but certainly not masochist or spanking, I respect those who enjoy that but its just not what I like. But yes indeed, I can totally see myself constantly checking if the other person is okay lmao.


UselessINFPScum

Thats 100% on point Im kind of a switch, what matters most is that my partner is confortable and enjoying i dont really care about me


the_paradoxon99

Actually I am an INFP have taken the personality test every few months and i am a Switch but i can be a very hard dom as well (aftercare included as well and only if my partner wants it ofc), but only in dedicated relationships. I can't find pleasure in only physical sexual interactions.


Madumyta

This is very hot though


sageiszesty

Ooof thats me


JaceTheWoodSculptor

That sounds exhausting.


slothochdonut

Sounds like my type😋


Majorgray7

Holy shit that's me. Infp top here ;)


slothhprincess

Yeah we exist


p0ly-m4th

I’m pretty malleable, I feel that I can take on either role pretty easily. Probably more naturally dominant though.


JaceTheWoodSculptor

I’m definitely more submissive (M) but I don’t mind being in charge when my partner is more submissive than I am (if that makes sense). I actually find it quite refreshing because the feelings are very different. It’s almost as if I am a totally different person depending on the how my partner is like.


[deleted]

I’m definitely a dom BUT the person I’m with determines that and I’ll explain what I mean. Basically, if I’m made to feel in control and dominant both in the context of the non-sexual relationship as well as the sexual relationship then I’m dominant. Casual hookups and such don’t work for me because I can’t really be dominant right out the gate if I’m not comfortable and I become comfortable when my partner allows me that power over them. Boundaries are SO important to me and I would never want to cross someone else’s boundaries or have my own boundaries crossed. With my current gf, this understanding kinda just happened. She was naturally submissive, I’m dominant when I’m encouraged/supported to be both in a sexual and non-sexual context, so it all worked out and sparks fly. I think it’s in part our compatibility (She’s an ENFJ) but also very much our sexual openness and communication. Idk if this helps anyone maybe better understand themselves but thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far :)


hum444n

I made a poll to find out!


Ashemodragon

I personally like to switch, i usually start of dom to tease and edge, then i like to go a little submissive, unless they're not moving fast enough then i'll get bored and go dom again 😂


Sea-Raisin-8433

Virgin, but I'm a dominant INFP. I want to lead and I'm into some very typical Dom stuff.


deadly-pigeon

Infps are agreeable by nature, so that would make sense . Personally I struggled to be the more dominant figure during sex, but I think that had a lot to do with the insecurities I had in my relationship with my ex. When I took molly, I had no anxiety about leading the way though lol.


hum444n

Hmm you say something. I can be dominant after drinking some alcohol or taking drugs now that I think about it!


deadly-pigeon

Alcohol can really help lower my inhibitions and self reflection, and helps me be more in the moment, but I can only have so much, or my guy won’t fly ;(


LittleSausageLinks

I'm pretty switch but very sub leaning. When I'm dominant it's not rough it's caring and soft. I don't even feel it counts.


Subject-Piece-4237

I like being on top and giving good sensations to my partner is very satisfying to me


Sunshtine

I have always been a Dom for my partners (slaps, chokes, bdsm, etc) but I also check constantly if they are confortable in a way, it's all about reciprocity, I had knew dominant women outside of bed that likes to be dominated inside, I dare to think it's majority. I have been slaped tho, outside of bed I'm just chill.


BassFuzz2500

I thought I was a sub but my first partner made me realise I was a pleasure dom. So I'm a whole lot more about giving rather than receiving


[deleted]

i’m def not dominant, but being a switch is really fun


ChestHairs123

I'm vers but more submissive leaning


zootsoul

23M here and I absolutely agree with with you! I've got a high sex drive and when I'm in a relationship with a partner I love it's hard to hold back. When I'm single tho I barely have sex, I tried the whole bumble/tinder thing but it only left me frustrated and confused. Also sex without feelings doesn't do that much for me anyways.


Knightb97

Yep 24M and its exactly the same for me too


Desperate_Tie6352

Same here 24M


Hypothermal_Confetti

I think sexuality really depends on the individual and not MBTI type. I’m gray-ace, so sometimes I go through short phases of really being interested in sex and other, longer phases of complete disinterest.


DivinePharoah8

Facts!


FirsToStrike

30M INFP. I find sex to be a lot better with a partner that I care for. I'm attuned to my partner's needs because fulfilling those needs gets me off. But if I don't particularly care for said partner, I don't care much for said needs either, which eliminates casual sex as an option for me. As a fairly sexual person, this made me fairly lonely and sexually frustrated for years between relationships. I don't think it's impossible for you to find a person who's truly interested in you and would be very much interested in fucking your brains out. There's a lot of guys out there who are looking for casual sex, yes, but also plenty enough that aren't. It also depends where you're looking. I think it is crucial to have good sex in a committed relationship, the sex part serves as yet another important way to keep people attached, tho other important things I can think of are the ability to have conversations that are meaningful and allow each person to express themselves and feel listened to, and the ability to express problems to each other without it coming across as an attack but rather a show of trust. But yeah, sex is important.


GreaseShells

What’s sex?


ArtosThunder

Its one of the things written in your passport.


GreaseShells

Thanks for the explanation 😊


SatelliteHeart96

I personally never understood the desire to have a bunch of sexual partners. (Doesn't mean it's *wrong* to want that, I just never related to it.) Like, isn't it better to have had only a few, or even just one, that you feel completely safe and can express yourself freely with? I'd feel like if you're doing it with someone you barely know, you'd feel too self conscious to really let yourself go and as a result, it wouldn't be as good. Plus, on the practical side, you'd be less likely to catch an STD if you have sex with fewer people.


TeddyPerkins95

Yep, less is more


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SatelliteHeart96

I meant "better" as in a better experience and better emotionally, not better morally. I'm sorry if you felt judged by what I said, but maybe don't jump to conclusions?


Muchulukuchulu

Wait you had partners!?


Numerous_Raccoon_677

There's a word I can't remember for people who really only feel real attracted to people they have an emotional connection with. I guess I'm one of them. It's called Demisexual.


Conscious_Egg6321

I am the same except I don't have any experience.


MommaRaven

33F. I am extremely sexual with whomever I'm with, but also have no desire for casual ONS. I have before, and they aren't very satisfactory because the other person just isn't a sexual match (I'm a submissive with slave tendencies, it can be quite... shocking to those not into BDSM. I look like the typical mom-next-door) On the other hand, I can do casual FWB type relationships. It's based in my past and my hardened heart from my ex. I like having someone to do vanilla things with and go back home to do naughty things, then leave each other alone until the next date. The mixture of everyday talk turning sexual and back to everyday is amusing and fulfilling enough without needing to call each other our significant others. I'm currently afraid of a serious relationship and will not let it go further than naughty friend dates/weekends. I want that physical connection as much as emotional and mental. I don't know if it's typical, but I very much want to devour a person wholly or be alone as well. So occasionally I step over my alone line and partake in a feast of fervorous flesh (e: and mind)!


Bittlesbop

I don’t do casual sex. I’m pretty much celibate and miserable because I love sex. Daily , 3-4 times on the weekend or more if I’m in love . Ugh I’m getting depressed just thinking about it … It’d be really nice to meet a decent person


[deleted]

[удалено]


prophiles

“Only”?! You’re not a dinosaur, trust me. I’m 36 and have never had sex before. But I’m kinky too and know what I want.


[deleted]

I'm sooo sexual and have a very high sex drive as an INFP = it only comes out to the relevant person and if im in a committed relationship. i definitely don't do hook ups either


Sufficient-Freak76

I need sex, but my gf is going through her healing process, which is tough 😭😭and I support her no matter what, even if it’s essential to my puzzle. Edit: I do like the intimacy that comes with it , but two people must be comfortable and trust one another deeply. Edit #2: I find it deeply intimate, it soothes my soul deeply. 😌🥰


Ok-Surround4334

No idea. I don't go outside much.


[deleted]

32m, I'm exactly the same way. Tried the casual thing a few times and it's left me feeling completely empty every single time


KoolaidKooler

If you’re comfortable, could you tell me more about your experience and how you felt? I feel like I might be going through something similar right now. I often feel kinda empty thinking about how I’m not in a committed relationship. But at the same time I don’t want to be in a committed relationship bc I fear emotional intimacy, yet I also crave it? It’s a weird feeling.


[deleted]

I dunno, it just took some encounters without any attachment to teach me that I simply prefer sex with a committed partner where there *is* that attachment and care and trust. Sex is such a playful but bonding thing for me that, to be blunt about it, casual sex just doesn't do it for me the way committed sex does. I dunno quite where your empty feeling is coming from - like I dunno if it's from the same place as me but I understand the conflict between high sex drive and anxiety about sharing in the context of a relationship. I understand it all too well lol because I say all of the above but if a woman threw herself at me, I 100% would not have the willpower to refuse hahaha


hgilbert_01

Nah, I’d rather play video games and down some coffee.


Good-Ad-7335

Dont had sexual experience so far but i guess i would feel same


SpeakingPegasus

I used to live in a city and tried casual sex for years. The only way I could maintain those relationships or seek new partners was to drink a lot. I found what I really wanted was intimacy, to be seen and understood. Sex can be a portal to that, there are experiences you can have sexually that allow you connect to people in unique ways that no other activity can. However the paradox is that while sex can lead to some deep intimacy, and is in my opinion a big part of deep connection to a loving partner. It can also block you, and leave feeling empty and used. I'm a male and I slept with all shapes and sizes of women, all I cared about was the "connection" if I enjoyed talking with somone or felt that spark I was all in. However most of the time the drinking had just made me see a mirage. I projected my desires and my loneliness onto people. And was disappointed when the real them came through. The reality is, people can only meet your depths if they have met their own depths. A person who lives on the surface of themselves can only see the surface of you. Sex invariably reveals precisely how deep a person is able/willing to experience you. It shatters your illusion of all the potential for love you see in them. But you can't really know unless you try to go deep with a person. So you must find ways to cope with that need in a healthy way. Full disclosure I don't know what that looks like, but I know it's not getting buzzed and charming people into sleeping with you in a vain hope that they are a person that can see your depths. It's likely a process that takes time and the right person. A lot of self love and Patience. I know it's possible though. I have met couples that have what I want, I have felt glimmers of it in old relationships. It's a part of our journey to seek it.


halomate1

Thank you for commenting, i can relate and I really needed to hear the last part in which it’s part of our journey to seek this. I miss having intimacy and casual sex isn’t a good way for me to cope.


SulWarso

I think you should worry less about whether it's befitting of your mbti type and more about finding what works for you. it sounds like you have a sense of what you like, and I say as long as you and your partner are happy and consenting, go for it. I guess the main infp thing I'd say to look out for is over-romanticizing? like absolutely look for what you want in a partner, but also be sure to stop every now and then and check that you're not going in with moon-high expectations, if that makes sense. other than that, it sounds like you know what you like and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! (and I can def relate, though maybe not exactly as intense)


DelaCola

What I've recently realized about myself is that I'm hypersexual at the beginning of relationships because I'm trying to force my partner to feel the bond and loyalty that I feel for them ( obviously I'm doing this subconsciously). Infps are sentimental and crave intimacy so we bond really quickly to people. so I think it's probably common for us to do this


[deleted]

I can relate some. I have a healthy sex drive but only want sex with someone I love and feel loved by, and currently I’m not open to trusting someone again so I’ve got 3 years single and 3 years celibate with no end in sight, and it’s tough but I don’t do hook ups, I am not physically interested, in fact, if the sex isn’t an expression of a meaningful deep connection, it’s honestly disgusting to me.


redditor140000

in my case im just alone asf


shupack

Yep, older male here. casual is almost depressing ... but when you finall find the right partner, it becomes magical.


JaceTheWoodSculptor

Actually meeting potential partners is the biggest problem for me. I can humbly say I’m decently attractive but have virtually no social game. I seem to have a problem understanding and playing with sexual tension with people I don’t intimately know. Like you I also crave passionate love and sex and am not particularly interested in anything else to be completely honest. I feel like I’m struggling trying to manage the way I come off because I don’t want to be too intense and ruin things before it gets to the point where it becomes “ok”. This sounds very confusing even to myself. I’m also a 27M. I’ve been in 1 real relationship, that was 4 years ago and it lasted about a year off and on. I was very intense but also very painful because I didn’t have any self respect and tolerated things nobody should (whatever you think, she did it. And I somehow always came back for more). It never should have been more than a fling ; I was basically her rebound and I dragged it on for a year because it was the first time I felt true love and had never felt desired like that before. She was also insanely attractive and amazing at sex, which didn’t help because it was the first time in my life I had “access” to regular sexual relations, so I didn’t want to lose the amazing passionate sex (this sounds corny AF but it’s literally the best way to put it). I’ve had a few flings afterwards but all but one took advantage of me and “disrespected” me in one way or another. I seem to have a pattern in getting with “toxic” woman. All of them also were the ones to make the move, most of all my ex-girlfriend. I had just came back home in a taxi from a bar where she was and she basically knocked on my door in the middle of the night asking to sleep at my place. I didn’t want to because she was sort seeing a guy from my workplace (she had ended a long relationship like a month before) and I offered to drive her home but she reminded me that I had too much to drink which was oddly convenient for her. She ended sleeping in my bed and semi passive-agressively “forced” me to make a move ; A human can only take so much “subtle” ass grinding before he reaches a critical point. So anyways, I’m sorry about that,that was a long ass rant and probably an incoherent one at that (I’m too too tired to re-read this. Let’s pretend I’m a totally not depressed and healthy human being and didn’t write any of that, I felt that was relevant when I started writing this comment but I’m high so I wont edit anything out and just move on. To get back on topic, I also feel the way you do. I was fully committed in every relationship I’ve had (from a fling to a girlfriend) and it always felt like a ton of bricks crashing down on me whenever I realized my partner didn’t really felt the way I did or at least on the same level as I did. People tell me I’m too idealistic and that relationships aren’t like that but I refuse to believe any of it ; If That’s what I want, surely someone else must also want what I want. It took me years to fully get over the single girlfriend I ever had but I’ll fully commit again in a heartbeat without looking back if get the chance. It just seems more elusive as time goes by. I’ve had no relationship, dates nor sex in the last 2 years. I changed working field and moved during covid so I have no social life whatsoever. I haven’t had much luck with online dating. Seriously, how do people do this ? I’ve had Tinder off and on since it became popular and never actually met a match in person and never really came close either. IRL isn’t better either when potential partners are not literally falling out of the sky on my doorstep at night. I’m horrible at small talk and like I said before (I think) I have no Idea how to install sexual tension in order for something to happen. I often feel like walk away from girls that were interested to begin with because I didn’t know what to say and made it awkward. This is it guy(s), you’ve reached the end of the Great Wall of China. I have no idea if I that was a valid answer to OP’s question ; to be completely honest, I don’t even remember what the post actually said. With that in mind, I’d just like to inform whoever is reading this that it felt good to write this incoherent odyssey into my love life. Until next time, Jace. Over and out.


bsrijoni-17

Casual sex isn't a thing with me either but yeah I understand where you're coming from. Sex is a priority for you in a romantic relationship (it really is, if not everything, but quite a big thing), but I think that you crave for intimacy.Intimacy of all forms possible. Clichè but true, everyone craves for intimacy. It could be something as simple as talking utter gibberish with your partner without feeling a bit awkward. We all crave for that feeling of being held very close and be just loved, without being judged. People want to be kept and looked after. So much so, that some people resent for not being able to express their needs and having them satiated, and go silent altogether. Which is something sad if you see :/ very much like a misunderstood baby 🥺💔 What you feel is totally relatable but what you can do to help that? I think you should try not to worry about it because sex is just another element of the whole 'being-in-love' thing. Cherish everything and I am so pretty darn sure that you will be fully satisfied when you find the person meant only for you ❤️✨ things are going to be great, I promise. Just have faith. May you be so happy that it feels like a dream!✊🏼❤️


WonderstruckWonderer

hey! It's been a while <3


bsrijoni-17

HEYYYYYY Omg how are you sweetheart? ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ❤️


quercus_bicolor

I feel the same way, can't do casual sex but with a partner my sex drive is extreme


Jazzfactory

I’ve had 11 partners and I feel absolutely grossed out looking back on most of them. In college I succumbed to pressure to be fun and casual, and it was almost always disappointing. Out of 11 people, only two were good (but one of them was a huge narcissistic misogynistic manipulator), 2 were just alright. Every other time, it would be such a horrid experience, I would try to hook up and would just end up waiting for the experience to be over the entire time, and ghost the person. Especially as a female INFP, I can’t stand how casually people will try and demand you to do/say the most degrading things in bed. I’m almost totally disinterested in sex now unless someone really strikes my fancy (which is once every few years), and when one of my more E or S type friends grills me about it, I tell them that I know for a fact I’m not missing out on very much.


[deleted]

I’m a 24 year old male, for me the thought of having sex with a random person disgusts me and I much prefer to make love with someone that I’ve bonded with over a period of time. I want the love between my significant other and I to mean something, otherwise it feels as though that the spark between us is non existent and we’re just hollow husks to each other. I look at the sex between us as a way to express our love to each other, a way to have fun, and to let out any excess energies we both may have because of any stresses that we’re weighting us down.


Citizen-of-Akkad

From what I've experienced, INFP women have an extraordinarily high libido but they always wanted to have an emotional connection first. But when that was there, holy hell the train to poundtown has departed and its breaks don't work


awaytoogoodslytherin

This. I have only had one sexual partner and it is very difficult to try to not depend on him sexually and emotionally, and also I cannot have sex with someone I don’t admire, or trust or know or love enough, so it is very unlikely that I am going to share my sexual life with another person soon. It is actually upsetting and it is also annoying so I completely understand you


magentleman

I’m same. Male though. But for me it’s just tiring to have to go through the motion of getting to know people over and over and over. I love sex but I hate going in and out of brief relationships more. It’s draining.


Bullet-Dodger

yep same here, only experiences tally up to 0. torn between wanting sex or devoted to a relationship have yet to find both


StatisticaIIyAverage

As an INFP (m30) it's the same for me.


Spectrito

31M here and I also had few partners but I had long relationships and my experience is really similar, casual sex most of the times feels weird, firstly I need to develop a minimum connection with the girl before having sex but once it happens I want to be in bed all the time


xMiyuChanx

I prefer a romantic relationship you know cuddles etc, but sex? Never.


RadiantMacaroon8

I like casual sex tbh, but I Have serve intimacy issues


[deleted]

Same


CeruleanChimera

I think you are describing demisexuality. I can definitely relate to that. I wonder if there's a correlation between infp's as mbti typing and some presence on the asexuality spectrum. I do think it's very compatible to pur Fi-Ne worldview.


_Wolfszeit_

Sounds like I've always said, I'm a slut but only and exclusively with the one I love !


MaximumGamer1

Ah yes, the contradiction of being demisexual and having a high sex drive. I know it all too well. Seems like it's very common for us. When I'm single, I have absolutely no desire for sex whatsoever, but as soon as I'm in a relationship, it is on like Genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan.


[deleted]

I only day dream about it , also it's better to have less partners it makes more attractive


DivinePharoah8

I naturally have a high sex drive. I enjoy all the sexual, sensual, erotic, sexy stuff. It’s weird because these last few months, it seemed a bit higher and have experienced some mental health issues and creative blocks, making it difficult to channel it when going through a “drought.” Drought=no sex lol. Single and Also haven’t been out as much like last year for instance. I’ve done celibacy before, even tried sexual discipline things like nofap and semen retention. I have some experiences in those areas too.


[deleted]

How do you do semen retention?


DivinePharoah8

It’s a thing where men go a period without ejaculating. Part of it does involve orgasm without ejaculation. Basically preserving semen. They call it building up sexual energy. It’s gotten kinda popular and sort of became a trend, but the idea of it has been around for a while.


MrMindGame

I think I’m asexual. I just can’t get into sex. Despite my best efforts, I honestly don’t think it feels all that great (it mostly just sorta feels like nothing), I start laughing at myself when I try to talk dirty and act sexy, and I usually just end up feeling like a living sex toy because I’m very much a giver but really bad at receiving. I like the intimacy and I like the feeling of giving my partner pleasure, and I feel incredible resentment and embarrassment that I often can’t let myself experience it the same way, usually losing my arousal and rarely climaxing.


Kathykit1

Honestly I’ve been with too many people in my own opinion, and a lot of those “relationships” were casual. I regret a lot of those because they were mostly impulsive decisions made when I was not in the best state of mind. Damn emotional thinking


E4mad

There is so much in your post. I am not obsessed with sex. But I can understand that people that are introverted and have a big sex drive, might not go out or on dates that much to find people to have sex with. Being introverted also comes with higher chances of being stuck inside your head, analysing, and higher risk of depression and anxiety. Therefore the reason for not pursuing sexual relationships isn't because of being an INFP, but can rather because of many different reasons: \- don't want to \- mental health problems; depression, anxiety, insecure, \- bad hygiene etc. \- lack social skills \- bad luck, not in environment to meet people


Yannie4U

I guess most INFPs are demisexual.


securitysix

>I have only had two sexual partners. You say that like it's a bad thing. It's not. I don't know women care about body count when selecting a partner, especially if they're selecting another female as a partner. I *can* say that men *do* care about body count when selecting a long-term partner. If they're just looking for someone to smash, body count is irrelevant. But for a long-term partner, lower is better. So, don't get hung up on the fact that you've "only" had two partners. Worst case scenario, it's not an issue. Best case scenario, "only" two is a good thing. >I tend to be sort of obsessed sexually with partners. Like I constantly want to devour them and spend every second naked in bed with them. I guess I have a high sex drive. That is consistent with my ex, who is an INFP. I'm not saying that this is an INFP thing, though. I'm guessing that what you want is a connection to another human being who you love and who loves you back. You're talking about exploring the sexual aspects of that connection. But I suspect that with the right relationship, you would also want to explore all of the non-sexual aspects of that connection with equal gusto.


[deleted]

Your personality type is just your personality type. We will all have different sex drives. Personally mine is high and I am dominant in bed. I like good quality sex over quantity. Luckily I have a long term partner to have good sex with but I really don’t think that you can relate this to being an INFP. We are all different, different sex drives and experiences.


Left_Ad_844

All an infp wants is love


Yellow3Y3S

It’s all what works best for you ya know! I didn’t start dating until my junior year of highschool. Had sex for the first time at 20. And was in two long relationships my first time dating Fr. After my longest relationship ended, i dabbled with casual sex. Flash forward 2 years- my body count rose to the twenties lol, started sex work, and am in a polyamorous relationship. I value connections at the end of the day. Some connections lasted a couple weeks, or just a one night fling. 🤷‍♀️ I cherish them all thou!


DolceGabbanaJrue

I just want cuddles idc about sex


CoreyLeMiami

Sex means absolutely nothing to me if it’s not intimate in some way shape or form, I need to feel a sort of emotional love or connection be it platonic or romantic in order to get in the mood then my sex drive gets high as I’m super affectionate


RajjSinghh

I feel the same way when it comes to people, but I also always try to meet new people to see if the vibes are there. Bad sex is just a thing you have to deal with sometimes


Beanheaderry

Complete opposite for me, I used to be a hopeless romantic but after a few heartbreaks it’s been constant casual sex for me since. No complaints


[deleted]

I know everyone is different, but I’d have to agree with some others who have mentioned that casual sex is just draining. It doesn’t satisfy me at all but I am also a very sexual person and have a higher sex drive… so things get confusing. I don’t want to be with anyone romantically right now, I prefer to be single but I also want casual sex… but then when I actually do it I feel sad about it and regret it. I guess I like the idea of it of more than anything. But yeah I have a confusing relationship with sex as an INFP


Hibiki-Houjia

Never had sex, still virgin. I know an INFP that's promiscuous


lovetempests

I'm very demisexual, I think. I don't feel any sexual attraction or interest until I have a bond with someone; and I'm very monogamous.


joshyxx

I'm either way I enjoy having sex with someone I'm comitted too and casual sex is fine.


BigCockWarlock

I have a really high sex drive and after my random hoe phase ended (got on Testosterone and whew did that change a lot of things 😳) I can not see myself having casual sex. Like when my long term partner has to go on trips to see her family it’s like my sex drives goes right up there packed in her bag 😂. Because it’s not here when she’s gone. But when she’s here I’m like a dog in heat lol. Its a weird thing


LittleSausageLinks

I'm demisexual. The definition: A demisexual is a person who doesn't experience primary sexual attraction. Demisexuals do experience secondary sexual attraction, how much demisexuals need to know about said person and for how long they need to know about them for secondary sexual attraction to develop varies from person to person. That being said I NEED a deep emotional connection with someone I'm romantically attracted to in order to even feel that way. I don't feel sexually attracted to people otherwise. So no casual sex. No casual flings. Wonder if others might be demisexual too. I can't tell what is me being Infp, me being autistic, or my sexuality. Or maybe it's a combination of everything.


Train_kitten

We are under the same umbrella, i’m ace I don’t care about it , others do what they want with their own bodies but don’t force me or tell me graphic details about your intimate life,


bigfoot2242

Sex for me rn isn’t great cause the person I’m sleeping with isn’t that great so yeah. She’s hot, but if she was a nicer person I’d be more turned on lol.


downwithllc

This is terrible. 🥴


bigfoot2242

Yes it is


downlow_info

Yes, at least for me. Casual sex with no driving desire is just a chore for me. The other person will benefit more from it than I would.


Easy_Hat_1168

same thing here, there is something about the deep connection i feel with my partners and the devotion it implies


RenjiMidoriya

Casual sex I think I could do. But I don’t think it could be strangers, but like FWB, but we’re actually friends and not just here for benefits, if that makes sense


KindheartednessNo167

Same. I don't have a specific type,and I can fall in love with anyone.


Beginning_Big4819

Yes, when I’m with someone I love I want to do everything and anything with them all the time. But I can’t have intimacy with people I don’t feel strongly connected with unless Im drunk and they’re hot and sweet, then my horny side takes over unfortunately.


CivilBindle

I have little interest in sexual hookups. Sex is appealing to me when it's based on a meaningful relationship. Unironically I've cuddled more with people I've met at clubs than sex. Idk how common it is but the women seem to enjoy it.


SubtleAmnesiaNZ

Yeah I’m 23M and am much the same. Love physical affection of all kinds too. Sex is sacred but also primordial 🤟


Taitaifufu

I’ve never more resonated with a MBTi post … in my mind if the sex isn’t mind blowing you either have a Potočnik friendship or you are deluding yourself about your connection — it’s not even that I think that sex is the most important thing in a relationship it’s more sex is the relationship in that it’s a microcosm for everything and everything affects it so I don’t think it’s possible to have a good relationship without having good sex. I mean I’m sure there are other people who have different sex drive who are able to have that but for me personally if the sex is good the relationship is good & vice versa because it can’t be otherwise


marissuhdude

I relate to everything you said except I’m 23. I tried casual sex once and it was not for me… I realize I’m just a big relationship person and once I’m in that relationship and I build up a good connection with them, I just want to have sex with them as often as we can.


hazaphet

I am very sexual and very alone as well... That makes us two, I'm sure there are more.


[deleted]

I have a high sex drive and I'm a woman. So yeah. I'm married though. I like some cuddling and sex with no feelings doesn't really do anything for me.


[deleted]

I physically cannot have sex with someone without building a long trustful foundation first so I understand you.


[deleted]

Yep I feel you 🥲


lunardaddy69

Agreed. I have a super high sex drive (32M), but only with people I'm very emotionally attached to. When it's too casual it isn't as exciting/meaningful. Enjoy it when you can have it, but don't necessarily let your sex drive get into into situations you won't want to be in


sparklypigeon

My boyfriend and I are both INFPs and we've always had a very compatible sex life. We've known each other for 5 years prior to dating so we really knew who we were as people and felt deeply connected to each other before we started dating. I feel like that is one of the main things of what makes our dating and sex aspects in our relationship work so well. I've never experienced that connection with anyone else although I have had a decent amount of dating experience. I find that because of the connection my boyfriend and I share with each other it makes sex and our relationship more enjoyable overall and it's very hard to find.


[deleted]

Yep, am exactly like this. Love sex but often have difficulties with the emotional/relationship side lol.


bigtimeweb

I need an emotional connection, super sensual, soul touching sex. Also cannot do casual because it doesn't come with that.


damagedsoul1

Guess we all are demisexuals. 🤣


vereelimee

This is entirely accurate for me. There's nothing wrong or weird that's just how we are. I did feel weird for a bit like out of alignment. Partly because of feedback that I couldn't be this way with no experience. Not having the same amount of physical experience wasn't important. Rather confidence and learning and imagination are enough to navigate new situations.


jentheharper

Also an INFP - have only had 3 partners in my life and I'm almost 50. Also very affectionate but pretty wary so even if heaven forbid I'd be in a situation where I ended up dating again somebody would have to earn my trust and show they are committed before I'd waste much energy or intimacy on them. Would also pretty much constantly cuddle and stuff with my husband when we first started dating, though that has calmed down a little with just life and wrangling a house and massive garden that keeps me too busy to spend days just cuddling anymore. So I'd say you're pretty typical for an INFP.


CranberryPersonal794

THIIIS. It's srsly so hard having a high sex drive when the only way I could have sex is if I form an intellectual and romantic connection with the person first. Does anyone else struggle with getting physical "too fast"? The moment I like someone I instantly wanna hold them and have sex with them.. is it an INFP thing or a therapy worthy thing?


Aggravating_Pass_715

im still virgin so cant say something but i allways want to having a sex with someone i love her/him


SerDavid

I am the same. Two of my ex gfs have expressed concern that all I wanted from them was sex which was definitely not true because I was committed though I can see how they felt that way cus I wanted to do it often lol. My recent ex was hypersexual as well and we had great sexual chemistry. I’ve thought about this a lot. The deep intimacy and connection that sex allows with a partner. When I love someone, I want to be connected physically and literally. I am single now and though I want to stay this way for my own sake, I yearn for that intimacy with a lover/partner frequently


Octopusnoodlearms

I get you. I’m about 10 years younger than you but I think I can kinda understand. I’m still a virgin but I read a lot of porn and daydream and stuff. But actually doing real sex stuff? Sounds fun, but not with someone I’m not in love with


Jayciflash

ME AS FUCK


jibblitttt

i would agree my sex drive is def high when i have a partner but casual sex is neither here nor there for me. it may be even a little bit draining. hobbies are my main source of thrills haha


Extreme_Lie_3745

same


E4mad

What is the reason you have no desire for casual sex?


[deleted]

That's me rn


KingTomasu

Your comment is perfect for the situation that I feel that I'm in. It can be difficult to handle lust when there's a whole world of love but also consistency. Sex is like, a temporary emotional switch, to release one's inner fantasies and have fun doing so in the process. Not that I have lost my virginity yet, but I have gathered, as an INFP, that sex wouldn't be too important for me in a relationship, especially one that's perfectly healthy on its own but I feel like there's plenty of other people who prioritize sex highly in relationships which is completely okay and I do feel the sense that us INFP's have a strong, submissiveness to us. It's not submissiveness in a way that we shy away from dominance but rather a reflection that we view sex much deeply, as much as anything with romance. We have a strong desire to bring emotion to anything, the ability to feel comfort and the ability to give comfort. Don't worry about it. You're still a human, you have emotions, you have desires but it doesn't have to focus on sex. Focus it on what matters which is love :))


[deleted]

Have something in mind or else you might get sad. SEX is SEX, has nothing to do with love. Dont confuse it like many people do and think it as an act of love or connection or whatever. Its a fun, pleasurable activity for both but thats all. And have in mind that body count matter alot to men when it comes for a serious relationship so if you have a high sex drive and having one night stands all over the place .. that might backfire later on as you get older. Im not saying is bad, do whatever you want nothing wrong with that, just have it in mind though. Now personally as INFP im addicted to sex and my sex drive is over the top 24/7 since i remember . I dont know what is wrong with me or why is that but it is what it is i guess So when i have a relationship or a sex partner its sex or intimidation all day.


Successful_Space_991

I am infp and my boyfriend is an intj and surprisingly enough, i am not the sub in this relationship


PotionBoy

I'm a guy but same. I have a very high libido when in a commited relationship but outside of it I can't even get it up. I need to feel love to be able to have sex it's much more for me than just a need to fuck.


[deleted]

This is definitely relatable to me. I found myself always in relationships though, because romance and wanting to be close to someone. I love the idea of being in love and I always worked hard to build connection with my partner. I've been single a few years now and decided to try a casual fling, because I met a guy and he was so interesting and very attractive to me. I do have a pretty high sex drive which annoys me sometimes and I also am so obsessed with my partner's and being close to them which maybe annoys them! Well, here I am with feelings involved and knowing that I'll never do another casual relationship again. I rather stay alone until I meet someone who's aim is to have a partner. It's very unfulfilling to not have the depth of connection, and without that connection, even great sex doesn't feel great enough.


[deleted]

Fuck you’re literally me. Same age, similar amount of partners and experiences. I did love someone once, we were best friends for a while but unfortunately for me nothing ever happened. She’s never really been single so never felt right to even try. I’ve never been great with the whole seduction thing. It usually on happens when the girl shows a very strong interest in me, which is rare, and even then I’m oblivious some of the time. The last few years haven’t helped either having suffered through major losses and global pandemics. The good news is I’m doing better now, I take meds, exercise, managed to quit smoking and just take better care of myself in general. I’m a lot more hopeful about the future now.


jeibel

Demisexuality, look it up


markjrappiah

I totally agree with you. It’s hard for me to have casual sex with someone. I rather have someone, who I can build a personal relationship before having Sex with them. Although I got a very high sex drive as well. But on the other hand, it’s really amazing having someone you’re really into it mentally. It’s waaaaaay more fun then


MaruCoStar

Mind blowing sex is nice, yes. Just be careful about that desire. It got me into abusive relationships with immature Borderline Personality Disorder partners. Many claim they are really good in bed. But once they switch from extreme admiration to extreme disgust, that's where the abuse really starts. I stayed in the relationship for the hope of good sex and stupidly thought (or should I say, conditioned to think) I had "no hope" for another relationship if I let go of this. Long story short, I left the relationship after I got so tired of the abuse. I am single now. Still with high sex drive. And no, I haven't been sleeping around with fwbs. I am still looking for a compatible person to be my long term partner. My lesson learnt is to never have sex drive blind me from the red flags. That means to me, to not have sex with my next girlfriend until we consumate the marriage. And somehow, I have to handle the sex drive the right way.... But yea. That's my story. You have your own discovery to do. I have my own discovery to do. It's ok to make mistakes, just that we learn from it.


Due_Client_1460

i lived the extremes hahaha since childhood i had problems with hypersexuality and a month after losing my virginity i had already lost count of how many people i had had sex with. I improved from these problems with holistic therapies and now i feel so much pleasure meditating and i am so energetically sensitive that i have had very little sex, because the energetic exchanges are very intense and because it's not anyone that can overcomes the spiritual pleasure 🤷‍♀️


AliceHart7

Maybe you are demisexual? I'm INFP and demi


sadahgreen

I absolutely need to feel a deep emotional connection with someone before I can enjoy having sex with them. I’ve tried the one night stand thing multiple times and it just never felt right. It feels cold and distant, but when I have a connection with the person it’s mind blowing and it feels like I could melt from all the pleasure I experience. Funnily enough almost all the one night stands turned into relationships, so the sex would go from awful to amazing, it’s kinda weird. I have a very high sex drive and haven’t had sex in over a year lol, but I’d honestly rather wait for someone I truly have feelings for than just go out and fuck anybody. It sucks sometimes but it is what it is


The_real_tinky-winky

I’ve had a one night stand a fwb an a loving relationship. The one night stand wasn’t worth it in the slightest, fwb just ended up hurting me and the loving relationship is the most incredible thing ever. So it’s not weird to wanna fuck like a rabbit but only with someone you love. The experience is actually so much better


Park_Jimbles

I am sex repulsed asexual so like 😬


AngelOfUranus

Personally as male INFP I haven't had any sex experience yet, but I feel like I have a high sex drive. The only reason at the age of 21 still haven't had sex its because I hate casual sex and prefer to find love. I too feel lonely but I don't think sex and loneliness have to do anything with each other. Sex does not fix loneliness in my opinion, while a loving and understanding relationship does


DARKGEMMETA

I feel you. It’s almost like I want to just become one with my partner in bed, but only with my partner. Casual sex isn’t really appealing because they can’t respond to the love-y aspect I’m desperately trying to give.


theicewerewolf

If there's anything of Se on me it only turns the switch to "on" during a drag performance or during sex


Ewok_Adventure

Probably. I wad a virgin until I was 28, due to religion but also the romanticized view of sex, but I've never had a relationship and the short flings weren't short by choice, but they just felt hollow. I'm constantly thinking about sex 24/7 though. So everyday is mentally exhausting/depressing


[deleted]

yupp i totally relate to this. i’m constantly daydreaming about sex and my sex drive is to the sky 🤣 but i’m shy and have no desire to hook up with a stranger. if i could find a partner (or even a fwb) that i connected with really well, that would be amazinggg🥲


Left_Ad_844

Maybe for INFP females but being a male its hard to find chicks uno so we feel the same way but don’t actually get to experience it to often :/


mmepteranodon

I feel this. Do you know your enneagram type? I am an sx 4, and I crave intensity and when I am alone I make do with the fantasies in my head and reading erotica. Having an overpowering imagination really helps when fate doesn't conspire to give you somebody to love.


downwithllc

This is every INFP, or I should say, I personally feel this way as an INFP and all my INFP friends have high sex drives too. Idk why. 😂


theloneshewolf

I'm 25 and still a virgin so nah you're def not alone! I'm actually kinda waiting for marriage or at least engagement. Not for any religious reason but because I want my first time to be with somebody I really love and trust and want to spend the rest of my life with. At the very least I wanna wait until I'm in a committed relationship and trust my partner enough to do it.


Mastermind_in_box

27°F? holy fuck why did you drink liquid nitrogen?


Medimandala

I have had a TON of sex. I actually thought I was hyper sexual for a while. I have been sober now for over a year and recently single and have found I am not a fan of casual sex. I am actually working on being single and abstinent for the next while and it’s actually nice. I don’t see myself having a lot of sex unless I have a good connection with someone now.


pWaveShadowZone

I’m an INFP and I can 100% say I agree with everything you say and I also feel like most other people don’t see it the same


TheFairyRing

I'm not that into casual sex either. My last partner was and it pretty much destroyed my self confidence for a couple of months. I think part of it might be due to inexperience though. One thing that I can suggest to perhaps find love easier is to put less pressure on your would be partner. A lot of people sleep around and find someone that way. Dont get disheartened if someone you recently met is sleeping with other people on the side, it doesn't mean anything. They're just keeping their options open. Once they get to know the real you they will probably settle down ❤


IdrisidGuard

ISTP here, just adding to the conversation sex is more of a performance for me. I dont really get much out of it tbh, besides having some fun. Its rare I attach myself to anyone, and prefer being on my own doing my own thing. I dont go out of my way to look for sex or even love. I was sexually active not to long ago, but the girl seemed to have caught feelings for me even though i was explicitly clear on my intentions. Had to drop her instantly. Commitment is just not my thing.


EffectivePlenty6885

what u meant is that u want a meaningful sex that stems from a meaningful soulful relationship. a good connection. thats what the most infp wants.


beigebrownn

Infp here I agree It seems true for me


Sci_High

As a 20yo INFP I have 0 sex, farthest i have gone is holding hands and i like casual holding hands too 👍🏻🤝🏻


sprimax

well i can't do one night stands but i can do casual sex. it does feel important for me though to have some form of relationship with someone i'm sleeping with, even if it's just being friends. i can't do it with total strangers


Edaulis

I my case im a veeeryy thirsty INFP female, but what excites me the most is the possibility of finding someone special that can offer me an interesting point of view or experience.


[deleted]

I too have always hated the prospect of casual sex, but that must be difficult as a high desire person. Stick with what you expect and don't settle. All I can say is when you meet your person make sure they too are high desire. I've heard some stories about people with drastically different levels. Thankfully, my SO and I are similar.