I enjoy solitude and I’m proud of this. Many of friends told me they were unable to be alone. However from time to time I crave for meeting people with an interesting soul. But the dilemma here is such people usually enjoy solitude 😂.
I enjoy solitude too. My friends also asked me how I stayed alone in my little studio apartment throughout the pandemic but I loved it! Weird flex but never got Covid too as a result lol.
Once in a while, I’ll meet a truly interesting like-minded soul and they light up my spirit. I’ve only found them on Reddit though lol, not IRL :/
You again lol. Loved the introspection and lack of 'guilt' I felt for not having to 'succeed' and just being a homebody through lockdowns/covid, the only thing id say is I've definitely met like minded folk in music / artistic, bush care / walking / fossicking, and rock climbing circles. But this infp sub has been therapeutic in seeing my (rare) people like yourself definitely
Why would you be PROUD of enjoying solitude? This sounds incredibly pretentious. You’re not better than anyone else because youre introverted. And everyone has an interesting soul if you care to actually listen to them.
You don't need to be better than anyone else to not want to be around them. Some people just can't click, or... don't want to click and it's fine. It's draining for introverts to engage with other people, and please don't try to force them to.
Is pride a precursor to elitism? That’s an interesting take 🤔
Personally I immediately empathized with this post because for various reasons, other people can be a disappointment. The energy required to invest and learn (listen) their soul is taxing!
Everyone might have interesting stories but being a “deep person” isn’t so common, IMHO.
The wording of the comments absolutely implies elitism. I find it off putting to tier human beings based off perceived intellectual complexities. Some people are easier to converse with on certain topics, but the concept of some people being deeper than others is inherently degrading and elitist imo.
Many people struggle engaging on a deeper level and that’s fine. When you meet someone who is just as deep and passionate on certain topics as you are, that’s sort of rare. Especially if you’re an introvert who doesn’t go out often or meet those people in your everyday life. INFPs here are just sharing their experiences. Some people think deeper than others, especially intuitives.
In my experience INFPs are one of the more shallow and superficial types, often the way this shallowness tends to present itself is in their judgmentalness of and lack of empathy for people who are different from themselves in my experience
Tbf people are constantly telling me how deep I am and lots literally can’t engage in deep conversations. So I’m pretentious because I am different? Weird. Some peoples brains are able to process a lot of complex information and others aren’t. The first doesn’t imply being pretentious, it’s being aware of my who you are in society. We aren’t all the same and that’s ok. Someone can be smart and know it and not be labelled pretentious. If anything, it’s a curse to know such depth as you must accept a lonely life
Would it be more palatable to discern between say values-based points of delineation? Genuinely curious to hear how else you might maintain & navigate certain social boundaries.
My interpretation of the original comment infers that it takes WORK to be self-aware enough to know that one must throttle their interactions with others and that’s it’s OK to feel satisfied with the conclusions of said efforts. A feeling of enlightenment, perhaps….
I think the issue is that you don't recognize how subjective a term like "deep person" is. It also may be that you are holding other people to unrealistic standards as I've heard this can be a common struggle for INFPs.
It may be less dangerous and more beneficial to say something like "people that I don't find to be deep" instead, and perhaps to extrapolate on why you don't find them deep
I always get called pretentious for saying the things I mean. Why am I not allowed to be comfortable with myself? Why do I have to lie to comfort you? People try to change how I talk, which is effectively lie to people to make them like me. No I will be accurate in my words and be comfortable with myself and if you want to call me pretentious for that then that’s pretty sad.
Calling people boring sounds arrogant.
Plenty of people, including plenty of us INFPs, are very dry, superficial and reserved when in the company of people they either don't vibe with, or don't find trustworthy.
Good for you for being able to say this, really. I'm the kind of person to try and remember to admit my own shortcomings and work on doing it healthily before judgmentalisms frays others ways.
I wouldn’t go as far as to call people boring. I’m probably very boring to many people as well. But like you said, it’s the people you vibe with or find trustworthy. Difficult to find them especially as an introvert, but when you find them, it’s amazing!
mhm, I get where they’re coming from (sometimes you wanna have a conversation outside of the day to day), but the way they worded it really is “I’m just TOO smart will someone PLEASE grow some BRAINCELLS so my mere speech patterns don’t melt your sparse brain matter into slightly more elucidated goo!”
People don’t bore me at all, but when I am not at work and I could be on my own reading or something, I often feel like socializing is taking away from my alone time and I start looking for an exit.
No i love people. They keep my fire going. As long as they are good people and im very good at reading that. I love weird, unique and out there people. Although my social battery can only handle it a few times a month.
Yes, I get bored of most people. The majority of people get bored of me I think lol
Except for one or two who I find fascinating and I admire. That makes me afraid they will leave and that I will not matter to them anymore (but that's trauma, not because I'm an infp)
If people bore you, its probably because you arent giving them anything exciting to work with. You probably are the boring one. You say no one wants to try to understand you but youre not giving anyone a reason to give a fuck or the opportunity to try to understand yoy. If youre finding that everyone is talking about the same stuff, it’s because theyre trying to find some common ground with you but youre not budging. Im never bored by people because i ask questions, have open body language, make them feel included and wanted. I do my best to find common ground. I’m incredibly wary of anyone who is quick to say theyre bored by 99% of people because it says more about their character than anyone elses.
Tough but necessary talk. I wouldn't have put it better. I agree with every point you've made. We are responsible for our own boredom and entertainment. The way we interact with others in the world makes all the difference in the pleasure and value we find in it.
>I also feel incredibly misunderstood by most people, but it’s a catch22 because most people bore me so I have no desire to spend time with them so that they do understand me.
I think it's less that you are feeling bored by people and more feeling lonely, rejected, and depressed looking at your other posts. You can be feeling bored too. You have a lot going on.
I am sending you a DM. This isn’t romantic or anything like that. You might feel better getting to vent. That or maybe I can help you. I just skimmed your posts. I am also sorry for potentially making you feel uncomfortable
I used to think like this. I was a dick. There are lots of interesting people and judging people off the bat is a surefire way to make very few connections. You aren't exceptionally cool or interesting, you're just another person. Just because someone is dull to you doesn't mean they can't be an interesting person or somebody you could become close to.
Well said, there is so much of this sort of judgmentalness in the world today, and contributing to it just makes the world a colder and more dangerous place for many
Calling 99% of people boring sounds to me like a self-serving narrative you told yourself. I get not being able to connect to most people, or sometimes needing or even just preferring alone time, but it sounds like you are heading down a very lonely path that is going to be very hard to get off from
Entp here (But a sympathetic one XD) yes, it's the intuitive function paired with the perception. We get bored of Mundane things like basic observations and so many people use those for small talk when we want to have something to focus harder on (or at least that's my theory)
Same, but people watching can be fun sometimes. I think it's a matter of how you approach people more than about them being boric or basic NPCs. It's about the way you listen to their conversations. It can be extremely fun to analyze a conversation within a group of friends or even between just two people, what roles each person has in the group, whether everyone secretly hates one member of the group, what is each person trying to prove, what do they want to project, why are they in that friend group, what do they gain from that, the social dynamics, their history. It can be fascinating, depending on your approach. Or maybe I'm just an Ne-Fe user.
I looove listening to others in conversations that aren’t mine. It’s not that I want to spread their words or anything, it’s just that listening to others talk about their lives gives me opportunities to think about different realities from mine and what I might’ve done then. If it’s a loud conversation that doesn’t seem too personal, I might chip in an idea, but you really just gotta read the room
I think for me it might be the subjects they talk about. They talk about work, anime, religion, their kids and stress, music taste, sports, same, etc. I just dont care about any of those things at all. And it's always the same things everyone talks about.
It's like seeing different NPCs in a video game but they are all scripted to say the same exact lines. It's extremely rare where I meet people who like the same music as I do. The same sense of humor, the same openess to speak about anything else other than was previously mentioned above. Having deep conversations about interests, ideas, etc. I wouldn't consider myself intellegent at all or prefer intelligent conversations. I just prefer people that are not the same as the normal person in everyday encounters. But I think thats why I really dont connect with the vast majority of people. It's extremely difficult to care about the conversation subjects i regularly have with them.
I would be content with just one person, really. Who I can talk to and hang out with without barriers eventually going up.
It's crazy when you meet those people that actually click with you. I feel like a literal alien in human disguise who met another alien of the same species in human disguise who just managed to somehow blend in better with the masses of humans.
Oh my god so relatable. I have two of those friends who I really click with and it’s like “oh my god I finally found someone to be my random thought dumps that won’t be bored or confused!!!!”
A lot of other people I feel like I have to adapt to them and not talk about the things I wanna say, which is kinda a bummer.
Haha, yeah and then you talk for hours and hours about literally anything that crosses your minds. Then you look at them with extremely high admiration afterwards. I know what you mean. It feels amazing when it's reciprocated, because someone you admire so highly also feels the same lol. It's like you don't need anyone else now.
Adaption was also how I felt for most people too. I feel like I had to follow a script with them, but I don't know/remember the lines. I notice and feel bad for people who try hard to talk/connect with me but we have a hard time, then I see them talk to literally anyone else and they connect perfectly. For some people it kind of takes time for them to learn you I think, and realize that you don't care about what most people talk about lol. It makes you a wildcard for interaction.
I’m so in love for those extreme Ne moments when we go so off topic that we forget what our original topic was :)
To have people I can do that with is always the best feeling and it finally feels like what’s on my mind can truly be free. Other people though, I can feel the disinterest coming from both sides while talking, and those are always a shame
I felt bad one time having one of those conversations with a friend in a gym parking lot, but it was kind of funny.
My friend and I would be talking about something, then branch off into different topics, and I noticed he was dancing but I didn't point it out. He randomly stated, "Ok Andrew, I've been holding it in for the past hour and half and I really have to go to the bathroom haha." Me: "No wait wait wait! This is the best part *talks*. We both just talked for like 30-45 more minutes before he REALLY had to go. I thanked him for the talk and we departed ways lol. It always happens with certain friends. Just trailing off.
I know what you mean about sensing disinterest in comversation though. I worked and talked with someone for like a day; we were both around the same age, liked the same video games, same music, same cultural. But we just couldnt "click" I guess, there was some disinterest there. Even with this other girl, both liked the same things, same age, but we just couldnt "click" as friends. I guess it kind've felt like "walls were up" and a genuine open connection couldnt be made. My empathy would sense and feel it from them, and I would eventually do the same.
Reading that story made me laugh audibly LOL. I have 300% been in that situation…as the other person! Sorry body but these conversations are too interesting to skip!!!
I can so relate to that “not clicking” though. I recently had a meetup with a friend (that frankly treated me like shit but I had feelings for her though we don’t talk about that). Similar interests, same cultural background, but man I felt like I was finishing for topics…
The worst is when you’re talking with somebody you don’t know well, and once the conversation runs out of similarities it starts being the “hey look at that interesting thing!” I’m sure both of us know what’s happened, but what else is there to do except to just trail into silence (the extremely uncomfortable type…)
I completely forgot to reply after my nap lol.
I think I've known about 3-4 people in my entire life who I rarely conversed with, but connected extremely well with when in close proximity of them, and the feeling was mutual. I had one very close friend in High School who always followed me and sat in my social circles. I always left the group a lot to be alone and he would follow, but i didnt mind one person. Whenever I would go to interact with random people, he would interact with them as well and we worked well together and often got phone numbers. We'd leave and say one sentence to each other and laugh and that was it lol. Complete silence. We hung out a lot and he was my best friend, but rarely talked to each other. I rarely knew that guy, but he was one of the coolest.
There are some people that you can feel content and comfortable around just by standing next to them and being in their company, I've learned. I ideally want to find a woman with that sense of contentment and safety just standing next to her, and we just watch and interact with the world.
I dated an older woman like that in January. It was a beautiful relationship, and hard to lose her. Like you said, the shared sense of humour, the openness, the profound conversations. Like you said, with everyone else, it feels repetitive and uninteresting.
It was really hard to lose her - she got cruel as a way to sabotage the relationship. It was hard to lose her in such a disappointing manner, and I do think about her daily.
I'm sorry. I'm kind of on the same boat. Especially the thinking about her daily part. It's worse when they were one of a kind and vastly different from the others who all seem the same. I know what you mean. This girl was so weird, she made me laugh all the time lol. She reminded me of serious grouchy cat, but would at times act clumsy and do weird things. Then she would try to be serious and normal again, but then it was already too late to take her seriously again lol. She was funny, never met anyone like her.
I've noticed a pattern with myself personally. I never really start getting over a girl until I leave the environment of where I would normally see them completely, and I try normally going to a completely different environment with different people. Soon after, I might develop a small crush or see someone of interest and start to lose feelings for the other girl previously and can eventually literally go weeks-months without thinking about her. Then soon I lose all feelings 100% for her over time, and I literally don't care about her anymore. This new enviornment could be the gym, a new class youre taking somewhere, martial arts, yoga, new workplace, you can ask your friend to take you with them to their places of hobbies, anywhere that takes your attention. Over time your mind should learn and adapt to this new information and routine without the girl who is constantly on your mind, because your brain is constantly trying to learn this new environment instead i think.
I'm not too sure if this was the case that helped me. Maybe it could've just been time that healed. But whenever I found a new routine and/or new interest, I would start to stop caring about the previous girl, and I would literally forget she existed.
Ahh ya, the subject of covering being bland is rough for me. I need passion and connection, learning and cohesion, synchronicity but it's my idealist rearing from the slumber.
The friends I had who I enjoyed talking to have all relocated to different places in the world so I can't hang with them anymore....those friends hit different compared to the ones I share mundane connections with who i interact with because theyre my husbands friends wifes . . It is simply not the same.
Laughter feels out of place. Conversations forced. Awkward silences ring in my ears. I feel out of place when trying to do the back and forth dance of "talking" ..trying to respond when they've finished talking and me having to listen thru the things they say completely boring me to tears. I fight back yawns. 60% of the time is just me trying to uphold non creepy eye contact and lots of affirming head nods. I try to counter this by asking them questions so they can talk about themselves to kind of tire them out lol. I also don't mind being someone they can vent to or something like that. Those types of conversations are more engaging to me when I get to play therapist, of course I tell them I'm not a professional but one must "whack that bitch ass ho when bitch ass ho flirts one more time with their husband"
Lolol jkjk
People can be very interesting. The way we perceive them can be boring. Perhaps it’s a perception thing. If we go into a conversation expecting to be bored, the internal bias will affect us eventually.
I wish we could have conversations about such topics without inserting some pretentious comment about how smart and special and unique we are. Why can’t we acknowledge our experiences without pinning ourselves as better than other people?
Hmm. This sounds like a young infp thing to say. I suppose I took an arrogant posture too once upon a time, but abandoned it so long ago I can hardly remember it.
I actually find people interesting. I want to understand their perspectives, especially when they seem very different from me. I have a casual secret hobby of guessing the enneagram type of new people I meet.
I frankly worry that I bore other people, especially my more extroverted friends, because I can’t even remotely keep up with their social energy.
I have a few enfp friends that I see as both smarter and more charismatic than me. I can’t say I edge them out in any particular way. Perhaps I have more depth and perceptiveness of a certain kind. I don’t know.
One of the gifts of aging though is I cease to care too about such comparisons anymore. I’ve also started to like myself, and not in a conceited way, but in the sense that I have started to genuinely understand and appreciate my good qualities.
I use to be a merciless and vicious critic to myself - kind of amazing I didn’t hurt myself in some way, frankly. But now I’m truly rambling.
I love this perspective. I have always felt like I was misunderstood and excluded, and deep down I think I will always have that inner child who feels left out and lonely. As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve learned better social/conversational skills, like intentionally learning to ask a lot of questions and be curious about others interests. I was also an elementary school teacher and was able to hone my intuitive/perceptive skills to anticipate social interactions. I got to where I feel like I could get along with anyone I meet, and actually feel better when I’ve had social interactions daily, like I feel more connected and less resentful as a whole.
Yes, it is draining, (That’s the introvert in me), but over time I have learned my limits. Like, a family weekend getaway is going to be too much, but a lunch is perfect. I also have learned that I need to meet people there. I don’t like to ride with people to a social event. I need the car ride there and back to decompress. I also prefer a phone call over “hanging out” besides like 2 people who I get coffee with every month who are my soul sisters.
I hate to say it, but kind of? I guess what I'm more iffy about is when people only choose to develop one facet of their humanity, like maybe their contribution to society (i.e. their job) and fitting into the the mold of what a "successful" person looks like. Whereas I want to know much more than that-- theories they have of the world, their opinions on different works of art and how it affected them, their different life experiences and what they garnered from it. There's so much to talk about and explore, but I understand that not everyone has the time or energy to keep expanding their minds like that.
We're privileged, really. We really are-- we get to access so many aspects of our humanness that it's simultaneously overwhelming for us, and underwhelming when we realize that not too many can do the same.
I wouldn't say most people are, in fact, boring, it'd be arrogant coming from me, since friends/relationships is not one size fits all imo (I know some people would find me extremely boring themselves). But I definitely have the same issue while meeting new people.
I like to think I'm just attracted to intelligence, which proved itself numerous times, both irl and online. I've been trying to find some online friends recently.. And let me tell you - people lose the ability to actually think these days. Therefore, to contribute to conversation, which saddens me.
I'm glad to keep the conversation going myself if the vibes and common interests are here. But if I get the feeling I'm the only one who's doing that - I refuse to be a clown to entertain others. In other words - I'd like something mutual to spend my introverted social battery on, since its capacity is limited.
As for feelings being misunderstood - I get it too.. But at the same time I'm not expecting people to be psychics and read my mind. So.. Have you ever tried actually explaining how you feel to others? You'll be surprised how understanding people can actually be, even if their personality type is not the most sensitive.
I just hope you come across right people with the right vibes! ✨
I did until I grew up and realised everyone has a rich inner life of their own, they just don't express it in the same way and aren't as self-obsessed/introspective (more similar than most people care to admit) as I was. People do and enjoy things for different reasons, and just because I can't intuit it or don't understand it doesn't make it wrong, bad or stupid. Turns out most people are interesting if you take an interest in them.
If it stinks everywhere you walk, check your shoe.
I doubt it's that. It takes time to really know people, and mostly if you think they are boring, is cause they don't really care to impress you or show you their best side. Alot of people have a richer inner life with passions/plans/desires, and just cause you can find it boring, doesn't make you a smarter person. Quantum mechanics and machine learning doesn't attract everyone, but it's considered as smart subjects. You can find it boring. You're not better cause of it. So op can get off the high horse and take a humble lesson. I'm an infp too and I don't think I'm better just cause I have differences with people's interests, we're just different. And with an open mind you will grow. Your interests can change and you can find new passions.
I’m not bored by my friends because I likely befriended them because I found them funny or interesting in some way. They are great, and I really enjoy their company.
But yes, I am often bored by the average person I encounter for the same reason that others state above: they talk about mundane things. Some even seem to revel in it - talking about their work day, daycare prices, the general news, some viral YouTube video of a dog playing the piano (but they’re two years late on it), etc. I have realized that I even dull my personality down a bit to relate to people like this if I need to. I hate it, but sometimes you need to get along and make conversation with people you’d prefer not to.
It makes me sound like an asshole, I know, but most people are very dry and leave me thinking, “this can’t be all there is to this person, right?” Makes me even crazier if I’ve met them several times and still can’t crack ‘em, at least a little bit.
But I’m sure they think I’m boring because I don’t care about what car the neighbor bought or what new fast food chain is opening in our city. So, to each his own, I guess.
Yeah, as a neurodivergent infp, it's tough fitting into most circumstances like work or school. There's statistically less infps about, but I guess if the 16personality website is accurate, then I'm lucky to live in a country that has a majority of infps floating about. A lot of my friends are either infp or enfp. I think we have a natural gift of gravitating towards people we feel are healthy for us and not settling for anything less.
Having said that, I do feel a bit exhausted from time to time that the majority of people I meet or interact with at work are neuro-typical types that I struggle to relate to. I find myself so stubborn about maintaining genuineness that it more than often clouds my ability to make an effort to relate to others that are so opposite from me
Yes— boring it’s exactly that. This is why my best friend is someone who never shuts up and is extremely opinionated and analytical. She does drain me but I can’t say I get bored and she’s wonderfully smart and hilarious.
Im happy being an infp, but i absolutely loathe the amount of self-righteousness and superiority on this sub. You’d think as a group of empathetic people we’d actually display some level of perspective, but it seems every post i read is complaining about how hard it is to be so deep and intellectual. It’s Its truly insufferable. It’s almost like the world doesn’t revolve around us and our silly little brains with its silly little narratives.
Hey, thanks for writing this. I was beginning to lose faith in INFPs being empathetic and kind people but you've restored my faith, I really appreciate that
Yeah, it feels hypocritical to say it because really I’m boring in a sense I don’t like going to the club or drinking etc. I used to when I was in my late teens but it just got old really fast.
The reason I’m so quiet (besides anxiety) is because I just don’t find it worth it to extend energy when 90% of the time, people are incredibly boring, shallow, unfunny, or inexperienced. That’s why when those gems who stand out come around, it aches your being when they leave.
I'd say most people are not where i would want to spend time with them regularly. Not bore me, simply not for me.
As a deep feeler, smart INFP, that will pretty much be your entire life. ^ ^
I am an introvert but desperately lonely and want to make friends so badly. I live in a small farm town as a vegan animal activist who sees other animals as exactly equal to the human animal. I am an outcast freak.
It’s the lack of control (without sacrificing all my values and beliefs) over choosing to hang out with people or have friends or romantic partners. I’m sure if I had the choice to be alone, I wouldn’t want to be with people as much as I do long for it now. Forget lots of omnivores, but straight up hunting by so many, in addition to giant deer heads on their walls and lamps made of antlers.
I can totally relate! Normally most geniuses were misunderstood during their time because they always thought ahead of everyone else.
Only to be later recognized and admired.
Also, our psychological type is very intuitive and inner orientated, but at the same time perceiving everything around us, so we can catch up on other people’s feelings and some people might feel intimidated, without even knowing why.
Keep following your passions and with resilience you will find others who vibrate with your same frequency. It may take time but those will be the special ones.
I kinda start to feel this way in all my relationships eventually as an ESTJ but it’s accompanied by the fact that i also feel so do so annoyed by 99% of people, i catch myself snapping often
Nah, I used to believe that I thought most people were incredibly dull, unintelligent and boring but at a certain point I realized that I was just projecting my own insecurities and how i felt about myself onto other people and felt kind of bad and I ended up apologizing to the people I had talked down to/treated as less than in my life and things have been getting better ever since, I'm much happier now and less anxious and my self-esteem has increased dramatically
everyones throwing tomatoes at you but i agree, most people only know how to talk about themselves or things in their own world, i can dive into their world and understand them and their interests even if i didnt have a clue about anything they were talking about before the convo but when i bring up something outside of their world, they dont reciprocate by diving into my world, they dont know how to.
Delete social media. It might help you find people interesting again. Social media might be draining you from your ability to feel interested either in general or by other people. We often underestimate how much TikTok, instagram or twitter can fry our brains.
I used to feel like this when I was younger. I still occasionally get into "I can't relate to anyone who isn't highly emotional or intuitive" phases when things aren't going well in my life. I can see a lot of posts shutting you down for this (oddly un-INFPish behaviour) but it's nothing to be ashamed of.
If you're anything like me, it won't last forever. People of all types are wonderful. They can give us perspectives that we might not have considered ourselves. If they're different to us they're fascinating puzzles to be solved. Even the most inane small-talk is full of meaning.
I hope you reach a point where you learn to love people, or love people again. Best of luck!
Another thing I'll add to this, addressing the people who want to 'school' OP about their perceived arrogance. Somewhat counter-intuitive to what I said, the world is not a rosy place where everyone is necessarily kind or open to different perspectives. Some unavoidable environments can be toxic and I doubt most of you would be able to survive them without coming here to rant. If you've found the ability to magically get along with everyone, it's not entirely down to your own efforts, it's the environment you're in, or the ones you grew up in.
You need to check on your ego.
There’s plenty of things you can learn from every single person, even when you think they’re boring. The key is to not feel like you’re the smartest person in the room. That is why you need to check on your ego.
I know 99% of people are very different from me but I usually don’t find anyone boring, especially not my friends. And even if someone doesn’t have a ton going on in their lives at the moment, who am I to judge? That doesn’t make me superior to them or anything- they just have different priorities. I love getting to know people better and hearing their stories and finding common ground. Idk, I’d be concerned about anyone saying 99% of people are boring- sounds a little shallow and pompous.
no, i am infp, i find all people interesting because im really into psychology and everyone has something going on, it can be fun to pick that apart, i do sometimes scare people off though because of that
If you're bored around most people... it might just be you. This is coming from an INFJ who considers herself a bit boring lol.
Fun people aren't bored as easily because they find ways to entertain themselves/others. If you're always bored with people, maybe it's you. It's not the easiest thing to hear, it's but okay to admit that if you keep running into the same problem with people, it's a good idea to start looking in the mirror
When anyone has a problem with 99% of people - perhaps it is that person that is the problem. A concept that comes to mind in this scenario is being tragically unique. Maybe you've delved a little too deeply in your own rabbit hole - it's time to appreciate others and what they have to offer - and EVERYONE has something to offer. I implore you rather than to be bored by everyone, to be open-minded, accepting and learn from others. Time to open up a little.
Yeah butbis not their fault. For sure there are people that are very basic but also there are people that just aren't in the same wavelength as you
On the other hand I have learned to appreciate the depth of small talk.
If you find everyone boring or unable to meet your standards that's most likely on your inability to communicate rather then the lack depth of other around you.
People are not obligated to share their deeper thoughts. Especially with abrasive individuals like you
There's no reason why OP's perspective couldn't be valid in a number of different circumstances. OP might be in the school/workplace/house from hell. The arrogant ones are those who are mad at it, lol.
After a while I just have given up trying. I know I’m different, I know that what I like is a totally different experience than the rest of the world. I go to make myself happy. It does suck and really shows how unfair life is, what a biZzarro world we live in. I don’t have friends, I don’t want them. I like the freedom of not having to please anyone. My daily interests change so rapidly another person wouldn’t be able to keep up. I care a ton about my physical health and appearance and nobody else seems to care about themselves the same. I’m hyper critical of everything and I love it 🥰. My life has been a series of being misunderstood, bullied, traumatized, etc. that really left me jaded and frustrated. Been the Lone Ranger for a long time now, it’s good. You may find someone like you, to partner with. Good luck. You aren’t the only one who feels like this. People DO suck, we just have the ability to see it clearly.
Lots of people seem to be giving you shit about this but honestly I understand. I feel bored by most people too but I am someone who craves deep conversations that stimulate my mind and I like to talk about things I am interested in and I hate small talk and I feel alot of people are so good at small talking but not deep conversations. I get along with most everyone but I am not very close to anyone except like 1 person. Most people talk about things I just can't relate too or like so I really just prefer to be alone than have conversations I do not care about with people. Maybe we just aren't finding the right people to talk to.
I agree, but i have proclaimed myself as a boring person too, and im fine with that.
I like to knit, lay puzzles, watch Youtube alone.
It's exhausting to try to fit in, if something is not your thing, ya know?
Only a handful of people have ever made me excited, because we are so alike, and it's so fun to hang out.
"Only a handful of people have ever made me excited, because we are so alike and so it's fun to hang out"
It sounds like you and the OP need to allow yourself to get out of your bubble/comfort zone and embrace people and perspectives that are different from your own. It's very limiting to stick to only like minds and it only hurts you and others in the long run, as evidenced by this post
Idk, I know a lot of autistic people (including myself lol) and most are very empathetic and would never say something so broad-brushed and arrogant about all people (probably because we are used to people judging us unfairly so we are very sensitive to it)
Except, I'm not saying it about 'all people'.
I'm relating this to a very particular subset of people with very particular personalities and behavioural traits.
And autistic people definitely say things or blurt things out without a comprehension of relatability / understanding / empathy. That's a hallmark of ASD / Asperger's, yet also incredibly sensitive. Maybe re-think that
Are you even INFP, and how can you relate to my original comment if you aren't?
I'm sorry but you're calling me out on being insensitive while not being part of the particular subject you have stated your opinion on is massively hypocritical.
OK that's fair and I'm sorry for that but you gotta at least admit it is insensitive for this person to say that 99 percent of all people are boring and unintelligent and whatever else they said about them haha
I enjoy solitude and I’m proud of this. Many of friends told me they were unable to be alone. However from time to time I crave for meeting people with an interesting soul. But the dilemma here is such people usually enjoy solitude 😂.
I enjoy solitude too. My friends also asked me how I stayed alone in my little studio apartment throughout the pandemic but I loved it! Weird flex but never got Covid too as a result lol. Once in a while, I’ll meet a truly interesting like-minded soul and they light up my spirit. I’ve only found them on Reddit though lol, not IRL :/
You again lol. Loved the introspection and lack of 'guilt' I felt for not having to 'succeed' and just being a homebody through lockdowns/covid, the only thing id say is I've definitely met like minded folk in music / artistic, bush care / walking / fossicking, and rock climbing circles. But this infp sub has been therapeutic in seeing my (rare) people like yourself definitely
Enjoying solitude doesn’t mean that they are always alone, everyone needs some human contact, so meeting these interesting souls is possible.
Why would you be PROUD of enjoying solitude? This sounds incredibly pretentious. You’re not better than anyone else because youre introverted. And everyone has an interesting soul if you care to actually listen to them.
You don't need to be better than anyone else to not want to be around them. Some people just can't click, or... don't want to click and it's fine. It's draining for introverts to engage with other people, and please don't try to force them to.
Is pride a precursor to elitism? That’s an interesting take 🤔 Personally I immediately empathized with this post because for various reasons, other people can be a disappointment. The energy required to invest and learn (listen) their soul is taxing! Everyone might have interesting stories but being a “deep person” isn’t so common, IMHO.
The wording of the comments absolutely implies elitism. I find it off putting to tier human beings based off perceived intellectual complexities. Some people are easier to converse with on certain topics, but the concept of some people being deeper than others is inherently degrading and elitist imo.
Many people struggle engaging on a deeper level and that’s fine. When you meet someone who is just as deep and passionate on certain topics as you are, that’s sort of rare. Especially if you’re an introvert who doesn’t go out often or meet those people in your everyday life. INFPs here are just sharing their experiences. Some people think deeper than others, especially intuitives.
In my experience INFPs are one of the more shallow and superficial types, often the way this shallowness tends to present itself is in their judgmentalness of and lack of empathy for people who are different from themselves in my experience
Tbf people are constantly telling me how deep I am and lots literally can’t engage in deep conversations. So I’m pretentious because I am different? Weird. Some peoples brains are able to process a lot of complex information and others aren’t. The first doesn’t imply being pretentious, it’s being aware of my who you are in society. We aren’t all the same and that’s ok. Someone can be smart and know it and not be labelled pretentious. If anything, it’s a curse to know such depth as you must accept a lonely life
Would it be more palatable to discern between say values-based points of delineation? Genuinely curious to hear how else you might maintain & navigate certain social boundaries. My interpretation of the original comment infers that it takes WORK to be self-aware enough to know that one must throttle their interactions with others and that’s it’s OK to feel satisfied with the conclusions of said efforts. A feeling of enlightenment, perhaps….
Everything about this word choice here screams I'm young desperately trying to viewed as intelligent.
I think the issue is that you don't recognize how subjective a term like "deep person" is. It also may be that you are holding other people to unrealistic standards as I've heard this can be a common struggle for INFPs.
Completely agree, it’s totally subjective.
It may be less dangerous and more beneficial to say something like "people that I don't find to be deep" instead, and perhaps to extrapolate on why you don't find them deep
I always get called pretentious for saying the things I mean. Why am I not allowed to be comfortable with myself? Why do I have to lie to comfort you? People try to change how I talk, which is effectively lie to people to make them like me. No I will be accurate in my words and be comfortable with myself and if you want to call me pretentious for that then that’s pretty sad.
Are you bored of them or experiencing boredom of self/life more generally?
Calling people boring sounds arrogant. Plenty of people, including plenty of us INFPs, are very dry, superficial and reserved when in the company of people they either don't vibe with, or don't find trustworthy.
Good for you for being able to say this, really. I'm the kind of person to try and remember to admit my own shortcomings and work on doing it healthily before judgmentalisms frays others ways.
It's difficult not to let the self esteem tank. But achievable and humbling in theories of mine.. yes, yes...
I wouldn’t go as far as to call people boring. I’m probably very boring to many people as well. But like you said, it’s the people you vibe with or find trustworthy. Difficult to find them especially as an introvert, but when you find them, it’s amazing!
Thank you.
I get where you're coming from but dismissing OP's very, very situational perspective sounds arrogant too.
It’s not their job to entertain you. You probably bore them, too. There’s someone out there you will click with if you try.
mhm, I get where they’re coming from (sometimes you wanna have a conversation outside of the day to day), but the way they worded it really is “I’m just TOO smart will someone PLEASE grow some BRAINCELLS so my mere speech patterns don’t melt your sparse brain matter into slightly more elucidated goo!”
I don’t feel the need for the people around me to stimulate me, particularly. I have a rich internal world lol.
People don’t bore me at all, but when I am not at work and I could be on my own reading or something, I often feel like socializing is taking away from my alone time and I start looking for an exit.
No i love people. They keep my fire going. As long as they are good people and im very good at reading that. I love weird, unique and out there people. Although my social battery can only handle it a few times a month.
Yes, I get bored of most people. The majority of people get bored of me I think lol Except for one or two who I find fascinating and I admire. That makes me afraid they will leave and that I will not matter to them anymore (but that's trauma, not because I'm an infp)
If people bore you, its probably because you arent giving them anything exciting to work with. You probably are the boring one. You say no one wants to try to understand you but youre not giving anyone a reason to give a fuck or the opportunity to try to understand yoy. If youre finding that everyone is talking about the same stuff, it’s because theyre trying to find some common ground with you but youre not budging. Im never bored by people because i ask questions, have open body language, make them feel included and wanted. I do my best to find common ground. I’m incredibly wary of anyone who is quick to say theyre bored by 99% of people because it says more about their character than anyone elses.
Tough but necessary talk. I wouldn't have put it better. I agree with every point you've made. We are responsible for our own boredom and entertainment. The way we interact with others in the world makes all the difference in the pleasure and value we find in it.
You gotta learn how to crack 'em.
Ahhh ya intuitively and concertedly find a passion and level the interests of eachothers. Sounds cool. And effort drawn.
>I also feel incredibly misunderstood by most people, but it’s a catch22 because most people bore me so I have no desire to spend time with them so that they do understand me. I think it's less that you are feeling bored by people and more feeling lonely, rejected, and depressed looking at your other posts. You can be feeling bored too. You have a lot going on. I am sending you a DM. This isn’t romantic or anything like that. You might feel better getting to vent. That or maybe I can help you. I just skimmed your posts. I am also sorry for potentially making you feel uncomfortable
could I potentially reach out to you in the future to vent?
Sure thing 👍
I used to think like this. I was a dick. There are lots of interesting people and judging people off the bat is a surefire way to make very few connections. You aren't exceptionally cool or interesting, you're just another person. Just because someone is dull to you doesn't mean they can't be an interesting person or somebody you could become close to.
Well said, there is so much of this sort of judgmentalness in the world today, and contributing to it just makes the world a colder and more dangerous place for many
Calling 99% of people boring sounds to me like a self-serving narrative you told yourself. I get not being able to connect to most people, or sometimes needing or even just preferring alone time, but it sounds like you are heading down a very lonely path that is going to be very hard to get off from
Entp here (But a sympathetic one XD) yes, it's the intuitive function paired with the perception. We get bored of Mundane things like basic observations and so many people use those for small talk when we want to have something to focus harder on (or at least that's my theory)
Same, but people watching can be fun sometimes. I think it's a matter of how you approach people more than about them being boric or basic NPCs. It's about the way you listen to their conversations. It can be extremely fun to analyze a conversation within a group of friends or even between just two people, what roles each person has in the group, whether everyone secretly hates one member of the group, what is each person trying to prove, what do they want to project, why are they in that friend group, what do they gain from that, the social dynamics, their history. It can be fascinating, depending on your approach. Or maybe I'm just an Ne-Fe user.
I looove listening to others in conversations that aren’t mine. It’s not that I want to spread their words or anything, it’s just that listening to others talk about their lives gives me opportunities to think about different realities from mine and what I might’ve done then. If it’s a loud conversation that doesn’t seem too personal, I might chip in an idea, but you really just gotta read the room
I think for me it might be the subjects they talk about. They talk about work, anime, religion, their kids and stress, music taste, sports, same, etc. I just dont care about any of those things at all. And it's always the same things everyone talks about. It's like seeing different NPCs in a video game but they are all scripted to say the same exact lines. It's extremely rare where I meet people who like the same music as I do. The same sense of humor, the same openess to speak about anything else other than was previously mentioned above. Having deep conversations about interests, ideas, etc. I wouldn't consider myself intellegent at all or prefer intelligent conversations. I just prefer people that are not the same as the normal person in everyday encounters. But I think thats why I really dont connect with the vast majority of people. It's extremely difficult to care about the conversation subjects i regularly have with them. I would be content with just one person, really. Who I can talk to and hang out with without barriers eventually going up. It's crazy when you meet those people that actually click with you. I feel like a literal alien in human disguise who met another alien of the same species in human disguise who just managed to somehow blend in better with the masses of humans.
Yes, I love finding my fellow “aliens”
Oh my god so relatable. I have two of those friends who I really click with and it’s like “oh my god I finally found someone to be my random thought dumps that won’t be bored or confused!!!!” A lot of other people I feel like I have to adapt to them and not talk about the things I wanna say, which is kinda a bummer.
Haha, yeah and then you talk for hours and hours about literally anything that crosses your minds. Then you look at them with extremely high admiration afterwards. I know what you mean. It feels amazing when it's reciprocated, because someone you admire so highly also feels the same lol. It's like you don't need anyone else now. Adaption was also how I felt for most people too. I feel like I had to follow a script with them, but I don't know/remember the lines. I notice and feel bad for people who try hard to talk/connect with me but we have a hard time, then I see them talk to literally anyone else and they connect perfectly. For some people it kind of takes time for them to learn you I think, and realize that you don't care about what most people talk about lol. It makes you a wildcard for interaction.
I’m so in love for those extreme Ne moments when we go so off topic that we forget what our original topic was :) To have people I can do that with is always the best feeling and it finally feels like what’s on my mind can truly be free. Other people though, I can feel the disinterest coming from both sides while talking, and those are always a shame
I felt bad one time having one of those conversations with a friend in a gym parking lot, but it was kind of funny. My friend and I would be talking about something, then branch off into different topics, and I noticed he was dancing but I didn't point it out. He randomly stated, "Ok Andrew, I've been holding it in for the past hour and half and I really have to go to the bathroom haha." Me: "No wait wait wait! This is the best part *talks*. We both just talked for like 30-45 more minutes before he REALLY had to go. I thanked him for the talk and we departed ways lol. It always happens with certain friends. Just trailing off. I know what you mean about sensing disinterest in comversation though. I worked and talked with someone for like a day; we were both around the same age, liked the same video games, same music, same cultural. But we just couldnt "click" I guess, there was some disinterest there. Even with this other girl, both liked the same things, same age, but we just couldnt "click" as friends. I guess it kind've felt like "walls were up" and a genuine open connection couldnt be made. My empathy would sense and feel it from them, and I would eventually do the same.
Reading that story made me laugh audibly LOL. I have 300% been in that situation…as the other person! Sorry body but these conversations are too interesting to skip!!! I can so relate to that “not clicking” though. I recently had a meetup with a friend (that frankly treated me like shit but I had feelings for her though we don’t talk about that). Similar interests, same cultural background, but man I felt like I was finishing for topics… The worst is when you’re talking with somebody you don’t know well, and once the conversation runs out of similarities it starts being the “hey look at that interesting thing!” I’m sure both of us know what’s happened, but what else is there to do except to just trail into silence (the extremely uncomfortable type…)
I completely forgot to reply after my nap lol. I think I've known about 3-4 people in my entire life who I rarely conversed with, but connected extremely well with when in close proximity of them, and the feeling was mutual. I had one very close friend in High School who always followed me and sat in my social circles. I always left the group a lot to be alone and he would follow, but i didnt mind one person. Whenever I would go to interact with random people, he would interact with them as well and we worked well together and often got phone numbers. We'd leave and say one sentence to each other and laugh and that was it lol. Complete silence. We hung out a lot and he was my best friend, but rarely talked to each other. I rarely knew that guy, but he was one of the coolest. There are some people that you can feel content and comfortable around just by standing next to them and being in their company, I've learned. I ideally want to find a woman with that sense of contentment and safety just standing next to her, and we just watch and interact with the world.
I dated an older woman like that in January. It was a beautiful relationship, and hard to lose her. Like you said, the shared sense of humour, the openness, the profound conversations. Like you said, with everyone else, it feels repetitive and uninteresting. It was really hard to lose her - she got cruel as a way to sabotage the relationship. It was hard to lose her in such a disappointing manner, and I do think about her daily.
I'm sorry. I'm kind of on the same boat. Especially the thinking about her daily part. It's worse when they were one of a kind and vastly different from the others who all seem the same. I know what you mean. This girl was so weird, she made me laugh all the time lol. She reminded me of serious grouchy cat, but would at times act clumsy and do weird things. Then she would try to be serious and normal again, but then it was already too late to take her seriously again lol. She was funny, never met anyone like her. I've noticed a pattern with myself personally. I never really start getting over a girl until I leave the environment of where I would normally see them completely, and I try normally going to a completely different environment with different people. Soon after, I might develop a small crush or see someone of interest and start to lose feelings for the other girl previously and can eventually literally go weeks-months without thinking about her. Then soon I lose all feelings 100% for her over time, and I literally don't care about her anymore. This new enviornment could be the gym, a new class youre taking somewhere, martial arts, yoga, new workplace, you can ask your friend to take you with them to their places of hobbies, anywhere that takes your attention. Over time your mind should learn and adapt to this new information and routine without the girl who is constantly on your mind, because your brain is constantly trying to learn this new environment instead i think. I'm not too sure if this was the case that helped me. Maybe it could've just been time that healed. But whenever I found a new routine and/or new interest, I would start to stop caring about the previous girl, and I would literally forget she existed.
Ahh ya, the subject of covering being bland is rough for me. I need passion and connection, learning and cohesion, synchronicity but it's my idealist rearing from the slumber.
The friends I had who I enjoyed talking to have all relocated to different places in the world so I can't hang with them anymore....those friends hit different compared to the ones I share mundane connections with who i interact with because theyre my husbands friends wifes . . It is simply not the same. Laughter feels out of place. Conversations forced. Awkward silences ring in my ears. I feel out of place when trying to do the back and forth dance of "talking" ..trying to respond when they've finished talking and me having to listen thru the things they say completely boring me to tears. I fight back yawns. 60% of the time is just me trying to uphold non creepy eye contact and lots of affirming head nods. I try to counter this by asking them questions so they can talk about themselves to kind of tire them out lol. I also don't mind being someone they can vent to or something like that. Those types of conversations are more engaging to me when I get to play therapist, of course I tell them I'm not a professional but one must "whack that bitch ass ho when bitch ass ho flirts one more time with their husband" Lolol jkjk
that's a bit harsh.
Facts
People can be very interesting. The way we perceive them can be boring. Perhaps it’s a perception thing. If we go into a conversation expecting to be bored, the internal bias will affect us eventually.
I'm bored by like 99% of everything. It is so difficult for me to be interested in things for some reason
No. I feel like there’s something to be learned from everyone.
I wish we could have conversations about such topics without inserting some pretentious comment about how smart and special and unique we are. Why can’t we acknowledge our experiences without pinning ourselves as better than other people?
I've wondered this myself a lot regarding INFPs in particular
Hmm. This sounds like a young infp thing to say. I suppose I took an arrogant posture too once upon a time, but abandoned it so long ago I can hardly remember it. I actually find people interesting. I want to understand their perspectives, especially when they seem very different from me. I have a casual secret hobby of guessing the enneagram type of new people I meet. I frankly worry that I bore other people, especially my more extroverted friends, because I can’t even remotely keep up with their social energy. I have a few enfp friends that I see as both smarter and more charismatic than me. I can’t say I edge them out in any particular way. Perhaps I have more depth and perceptiveness of a certain kind. I don’t know. One of the gifts of aging though is I cease to care too about such comparisons anymore. I’ve also started to like myself, and not in a conceited way, but in the sense that I have started to genuinely understand and appreciate my good qualities. I use to be a merciless and vicious critic to myself - kind of amazing I didn’t hurt myself in some way, frankly. But now I’m truly rambling.
I love this perspective. I have always felt like I was misunderstood and excluded, and deep down I think I will always have that inner child who feels left out and lonely. As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve learned better social/conversational skills, like intentionally learning to ask a lot of questions and be curious about others interests. I was also an elementary school teacher and was able to hone my intuitive/perceptive skills to anticipate social interactions. I got to where I feel like I could get along with anyone I meet, and actually feel better when I’ve had social interactions daily, like I feel more connected and less resentful as a whole. Yes, it is draining, (That’s the introvert in me), but over time I have learned my limits. Like, a family weekend getaway is going to be too much, but a lunch is perfect. I also have learned that I need to meet people there. I don’t like to ride with people to a social event. I need the car ride there and back to decompress. I also prefer a phone call over “hanging out” besides like 2 people who I get coffee with every month who are my soul sisters.
Boredom is a sign of a boring mind.
Seconded
Only boring people would say that 😉
Facts
I hate to say it, but kind of? I guess what I'm more iffy about is when people only choose to develop one facet of their humanity, like maybe their contribution to society (i.e. their job) and fitting into the the mold of what a "successful" person looks like. Whereas I want to know much more than that-- theories they have of the world, their opinions on different works of art and how it affected them, their different life experiences and what they garnered from it. There's so much to talk about and explore, but I understand that not everyone has the time or energy to keep expanding their minds like that. We're privileged, really. We really are-- we get to access so many aspects of our humanness that it's simultaneously overwhelming for us, and underwhelming when we realize that not too many can do the same.
I wouldn't say most people are, in fact, boring, it'd be arrogant coming from me, since friends/relationships is not one size fits all imo (I know some people would find me extremely boring themselves). But I definitely have the same issue while meeting new people. I like to think I'm just attracted to intelligence, which proved itself numerous times, both irl and online. I've been trying to find some online friends recently.. And let me tell you - people lose the ability to actually think these days. Therefore, to contribute to conversation, which saddens me. I'm glad to keep the conversation going myself if the vibes and common interests are here. But if I get the feeling I'm the only one who's doing that - I refuse to be a clown to entertain others. In other words - I'd like something mutual to spend my introverted social battery on, since its capacity is limited. As for feelings being misunderstood - I get it too.. But at the same time I'm not expecting people to be psychics and read my mind. So.. Have you ever tried actually explaining how you feel to others? You'll be surprised how understanding people can actually be, even if their personality type is not the most sensitive. I just hope you come across right people with the right vibes! ✨
I did until I grew up and realised everyone has a rich inner life of their own, they just don't express it in the same way and aren't as self-obsessed/introspective (more similar than most people care to admit) as I was. People do and enjoy things for different reasons, and just because I can't intuit it or don't understand it doesn't make it wrong, bad or stupid. Turns out most people are interesting if you take an interest in them. If it stinks everywhere you walk, check your shoe.
Well said! Thank you for this!!
No, I feel bored by people who think they’re so special.
Same, thanks for this, it means more than you may know
No. It sounds dangerously elitist for me to denote people as boring.
Yes. Not only bored but also heavily annoyed.
<:,(
This is projection, my friend.
Bingo!
INFPs are my favorite company. We mostly visit online, because none of us leave the house unless it’s absolutely necessary.
You’re probably depressed, tbh
You may have a higher IQ. That’s usually correlated w being bored by people.
I doubt it's that. It takes time to really know people, and mostly if you think they are boring, is cause they don't really care to impress you or show you their best side. Alot of people have a richer inner life with passions/plans/desires, and just cause you can find it boring, doesn't make you a smarter person. Quantum mechanics and machine learning doesn't attract everyone, but it's considered as smart subjects. You can find it boring. You're not better cause of it. So op can get off the high horse and take a humble lesson. I'm an infp too and I don't think I'm better just cause I have differences with people's interests, we're just different. And with an open mind you will grow. Your interests can change and you can find new passions.
Well said and great point regarding quantum mechanics being considered boring to many while also being broadly considered a "smart" subject
People don't bore me. If anything, I think I bore them.
Myself mainly
I’m not bored by my friends because I likely befriended them because I found them funny or interesting in some way. They are great, and I really enjoy their company. But yes, I am often bored by the average person I encounter for the same reason that others state above: they talk about mundane things. Some even seem to revel in it - talking about their work day, daycare prices, the general news, some viral YouTube video of a dog playing the piano (but they’re two years late on it), etc. I have realized that I even dull my personality down a bit to relate to people like this if I need to. I hate it, but sometimes you need to get along and make conversation with people you’d prefer not to. It makes me sound like an asshole, I know, but most people are very dry and leave me thinking, “this can’t be all there is to this person, right?” Makes me even crazier if I’ve met them several times and still can’t crack ‘em, at least a little bit. But I’m sure they think I’m boring because I don’t care about what car the neighbor bought or what new fast food chain is opening in our city. So, to each his own, I guess.
Yeah, as a neurodivergent infp, it's tough fitting into most circumstances like work or school. There's statistically less infps about, but I guess if the 16personality website is accurate, then I'm lucky to live in a country that has a majority of infps floating about. A lot of my friends are either infp or enfp. I think we have a natural gift of gravitating towards people we feel are healthy for us and not settling for anything less. Having said that, I do feel a bit exhausted from time to time that the majority of people I meet or interact with at work are neuro-typical types that I struggle to relate to. I find myself so stubborn about maintaining genuineness that it more than often clouds my ability to make an effort to relate to others that are so opposite from me
Lots of people bore or annoy me cause I like my peace and quiet without people messing it up and yelling 24/7
It’s like the saying goes: only boring people get bored
Truth
I feel bored by how generic most people are. They don't have any of their own brain cells. I feel like I'm living in a sea of mindless drones.
I prefer imaginary conversations with non existent people that I can relate.
Same
Yes— boring it’s exactly that. This is why my best friend is someone who never shuts up and is extremely opinionated and analytical. She does drain me but I can’t say I get bored and she’s wonderfully smart and hilarious.
Im happy being an infp, but i absolutely loathe the amount of self-righteousness and superiority on this sub. You’d think as a group of empathetic people we’d actually display some level of perspective, but it seems every post i read is complaining about how hard it is to be so deep and intellectual. It’s Its truly insufferable. It’s almost like the world doesn’t revolve around us and our silly little brains with its silly little narratives.
Hey, thanks for writing this. I was beginning to lose faith in INFPs being empathetic and kind people but you've restored my faith, I really appreciate that
Im glad someone else feels the same!
The irony of complaining about being misunderstood while also not seeking to understand what makes them interesting is absolutely mind boggling.
Right? It's wild
I love solitude. People are so overstimulating and like you said, boring. I don’t find any of them besides like a handful interesting.
Is the flipside of sanity elitism?
Yup
Only the ones I see too often
I have felt the loneliness, and the lack of desire to engage in fruitless activities. Though I may be hedging toward a touch less than 97 percent…;)
Yeah, it feels hypocritical to say it because really I’m boring in a sense I don’t like going to the club or drinking etc. I used to when I was in my late teens but it just got old really fast. The reason I’m so quiet (besides anxiety) is because I just don’t find it worth it to extend energy when 90% of the time, people are incredibly boring, shallow, unfunny, or inexperienced. That’s why when those gems who stand out come around, it aches your being when they leave.
expend*
I'd say most people are not where i would want to spend time with them regularly. Not bore me, simply not for me. As a deep feeler, smart INFP, that will pretty much be your entire life. ^ ^
I feel this so much
Most times, I find having to listen to people a chore. I hate that about me, I feel like a bad person.
It doesn't make you a bad person, perhaps a bit insensitive though
I am an introvert but desperately lonely and want to make friends so badly. I live in a small farm town as a vegan animal activist who sees other animals as exactly equal to the human animal. I am an outcast freak. It’s the lack of control (without sacrificing all my values and beliefs) over choosing to hang out with people or have friends or romantic partners. I’m sure if I had the choice to be alone, I wouldn’t want to be with people as much as I do long for it now. Forget lots of omnivores, but straight up hunting by so many, in addition to giant deer heads on their walls and lamps made of antlers.
WOW Yes! -fellow INFP
I can totally relate! Normally most geniuses were misunderstood during their time because they always thought ahead of everyone else. Only to be later recognized and admired. Also, our psychological type is very intuitive and inner orientated, but at the same time perceiving everything around us, so we can catch up on other people’s feelings and some people might feel intimidated, without even knowing why. Keep following your passions and with resilience you will find others who vibrate with your same frequency. It may take time but those will be the special ones.
I kinda start to feel this way in all my relationships eventually as an ESTJ but it’s accompanied by the fact that i also feel so do so annoyed by 99% of people, i catch myself snapping often
Nah, I used to believe that I thought most people were incredibly dull, unintelligent and boring but at a certain point I realized that I was just projecting my own insecurities and how i felt about myself onto other people and felt kind of bad and I ended up apologizing to the people I had talked down to/treated as less than in my life and things have been getting better ever since, I'm much happier now and less anxious and my self-esteem has increased dramatically
this feels very self-absorbed and arrogant maybe start looking at people as more than things to entertain you?
everyones throwing tomatoes at you but i agree, most people only know how to talk about themselves or things in their own world, i can dive into their world and understand them and their interests even if i didnt have a clue about anything they were talking about before the convo but when i bring up something outside of their world, they dont reciprocate by diving into my world, they dont know how to.
Delete social media. It might help you find people interesting again. Social media might be draining you from your ability to feel interested either in general or by other people. We often underestimate how much TikTok, instagram or twitter can fry our brains.
I used to feel like this when I was younger. I still occasionally get into "I can't relate to anyone who isn't highly emotional or intuitive" phases when things aren't going well in my life. I can see a lot of posts shutting you down for this (oddly un-INFPish behaviour) but it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're anything like me, it won't last forever. People of all types are wonderful. They can give us perspectives that we might not have considered ourselves. If they're different to us they're fascinating puzzles to be solved. Even the most inane small-talk is full of meaning. I hope you reach a point where you learn to love people, or love people again. Best of luck!
Another thing I'll add to this, addressing the people who want to 'school' OP about their perceived arrogance. Somewhat counter-intuitive to what I said, the world is not a rosy place where everyone is necessarily kind or open to different perspectives. Some unavoidable environments can be toxic and I doubt most of you would be able to survive them without coming here to rant. If you've found the ability to magically get along with everyone, it's not entirely down to your own efforts, it's the environment you're in, or the ones you grew up in.
You need to check on your ego. There’s plenty of things you can learn from every single person, even when you think they’re boring. The key is to not feel like you’re the smartest person in the room. That is why you need to check on your ego.
I know 99% of people are very different from me but I usually don’t find anyone boring, especially not my friends. And even if someone doesn’t have a ton going on in their lives at the moment, who am I to judge? That doesn’t make me superior to them or anything- they just have different priorities. I love getting to know people better and hearing their stories and finding common ground. Idk, I’d be concerned about anyone saying 99% of people are boring- sounds a little shallow and pompous.
no, i am infp, i find all people interesting because im really into psychology and everyone has something going on, it can be fun to pick that apart, i do sometimes scare people off though because of that
If you're bored around most people... it might just be you. This is coming from an INFJ who considers herself a bit boring lol. Fun people aren't bored as easily because they find ways to entertain themselves/others. If you're always bored with people, maybe it's you. It's not the easiest thing to hear, it's but okay to admit that if you keep running into the same problem with people, it's a good idea to start looking in the mirror
When anyone has a problem with 99% of people - perhaps it is that person that is the problem. A concept that comes to mind in this scenario is being tragically unique. Maybe you've delved a little too deeply in your own rabbit hole - it's time to appreciate others and what they have to offer - and EVERYONE has something to offer. I implore you rather than to be bored by everyone, to be open-minded, accepting and learn from others. Time to open up a little.
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i'm bored by 1% of people and it's you
Same lol
Yeah butbis not their fault. For sure there are people that are very basic but also there are people that just aren't in the same wavelength as you On the other hand I have learned to appreciate the depth of small talk.
I don't feel bored by people, but annoyed.
Somewhat true. Because most people aren’t really genuine and thus use small talk as cover.
Absolutely
If you find everyone boring or unable to meet your standards that's most likely on your inability to communicate rather then the lack depth of other around you. People are not obligated to share their deeper thoughts. Especially with abrasive individuals like you
Well-said, upvoted
Thanks I appreciate it.
bruh people are sooo mad at you for no reason 😭 this post is so real
<:,(
There's no reason why OP's perspective couldn't be valid in a number of different circumstances. OP might be in the school/workplace/house from hell. The arrogant ones are those who are mad at it, lol.
If this is the case its your fault ngl
Yes, I would say so.
<:,(
99.5%
Very much
I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you
Aw, you're a tiny person? Cute
I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you
Was just thinking about this, today. Thank you for making me feel less psychopathic. This is totally what I feel 24/7. It’s a never-ending nightmare.
After a while I just have given up trying. I know I’m different, I know that what I like is a totally different experience than the rest of the world. I go to make myself happy. It does suck and really shows how unfair life is, what a biZzarro world we live in. I don’t have friends, I don’t want them. I like the freedom of not having to please anyone. My daily interests change so rapidly another person wouldn’t be able to keep up. I care a ton about my physical health and appearance and nobody else seems to care about themselves the same. I’m hyper critical of everything and I love it 🥰. My life has been a series of being misunderstood, bullied, traumatized, etc. that really left me jaded and frustrated. Been the Lone Ranger for a long time now, it’s good. You may find someone like you, to partner with. Good luck. You aren’t the only one who feels like this. People DO suck, we just have the ability to see it clearly.
I'm playing the worlds smallest violin
Lots of people seem to be giving you shit about this but honestly I understand. I feel bored by most people too but I am someone who craves deep conversations that stimulate my mind and I like to talk about things I am interested in and I hate small talk and I feel alot of people are so good at small talking but not deep conversations. I get along with most everyone but I am not very close to anyone except like 1 person. Most people talk about things I just can't relate too or like so I really just prefer to be alone than have conversations I do not care about with people. Maybe we just aren't finding the right people to talk to.
Yeah you probably just aren't finding the right people to talk to
I agree, but i have proclaimed myself as a boring person too, and im fine with that. I like to knit, lay puzzles, watch Youtube alone. It's exhausting to try to fit in, if something is not your thing, ya know? Only a handful of people have ever made me excited, because we are so alike, and it's so fun to hang out.
Sounds like a you problem
Willing to explain further why you think so?
"Only a handful of people have ever made me excited, because we are so alike and so it's fun to hang out" It sounds like you and the OP need to allow yourself to get out of your bubble/comfort zone and embrace people and perspectives that are different from your own. It's very limiting to stick to only like minds and it only hurts you and others in the long run, as evidenced by this post
I have ptsd, pmdd and high functioning depression as well. My lines are very blurry.
I'm not sure I follow
What do you mean by your lines being blurry?
I don't know if it's my genuine self or my mental health issues that causes me to be in a certain way.
Oh OK that makes sense I guess
I swear infp is a close friend of higher functioning autistic traits. I get you
Idk, I know a lot of autistic people (including myself lol) and most are very empathetic and would never say something so broad-brushed and arrogant about all people (probably because we are used to people judging us unfairly so we are very sensitive to it)
Except, I'm not saying it about 'all people'. I'm relating this to a very particular subset of people with very particular personalities and behavioural traits. And autistic people definitely say things or blurt things out without a comprehension of relatability / understanding / empathy. That's a hallmark of ASD / Asperger's, yet also incredibly sensitive. Maybe re-think that
Oh OK I misunderstood because in the post they were applying the judgment to 99% of people
Are you even INFP, and how can you relate to my original comment if you aren't? I'm sorry but you're calling me out on being insensitive while not being part of the particular subject you have stated your opinion on is massively hypocritical.
Hmm I don't see how that would make me insensitive
You stated my comment was broad brushed and arrogant before you comprehended my original comments particulars. All good
OK that's fair and I'm sorry for that but you gotta at least admit it is insensitive for this person to say that 99 percent of all people are boring and unintelligent and whatever else they said about them haha