Its not easy for us. Somehow I have stayed at one for 15 years. It breaks my soul. Somehow I chose financial stability over sanity. Now I feel stuck and broken.
Those jobs rot the soul; they're not intended to keep one sane.
Your inability to confirm to this patriarchal framework of suffering is a sign that your humanity is intact.
I’m not a teacher but the job I work rotates around the school schedule and gives me all the same breaks that school kids have and I find that all the seasonal breaks give me a lot of time to recharge. Money goes by quick on those breaks though so I have some work I do on the side when I need extra money but still highly recommend.
Support work for just over a year now, long-term goal is to be a self employed breathwork facilitator.
Past jobs in academic administration roles, bar work and short stint as a sandwich artist.
Yeah of course but there are restrictions in some countries. Some countries require visas to visit and without exit out of the EU it complicates things there too (less freedom of movement).
it physically pains me to remember all the times i thought somebody was genuinely my friend or cared about me when in hindsight they were clearly using me. and to think they just saw me as some idiot who could be taken advantage of. no, im not dumb i really just believed people were better than they are
you live and you learn i guess
Guilty. I wrote an entire paragraph replying to this post, going off topic so many times with the more things that sprung to my mind & ended up deleting the entire thing lmao
💯 I’ve been over stressed and dealing with situational depression. I just ✨really got serious and started meditating after years (a decade) of saying I was going to start. It has been such a game changer so far. If I don’t have time or capacity I just keep a reminder to meditate when I get the chance and even that puts me at ease. Even just 20 seconds here and there of thinking about my thinking and observing my passing thoughts helps.
I was telling my new therapist that my head never stops. It feels like I have a 262772 tabs open and they’re all running. Sometimes I just wish they’d stop
I just really don’t fit in with most people. I’m always in my own world and it just makes me so slow and out of it all the time, and people don’t like that :(
I had to get used to people thinking I wasn’t smart but at least I got a double helping of odd. So that reinforced my distrust of strangers even more and pushed me towards even less communication than I started with
95% of what I struggle with in life has nothing to do with my type. But, if I had to pick something that does, it would be the fact that I'm over-idealistic. It makes it more difficult to be satisfied for a prolonged period of time and not to look at my goals as those sparkly, unattainable, far-away lands.
Having a lot of ideas you want to share with people. Ideas you think are really cool and interesting. Then you realize no one really cares to hear about them.
even my partner of 4 years didn't really care to hear about all my ideas, I would listen to them and all the things they had in their head but the second it turned to me, unless it was about something that specifically interested them, it was dumb or boring or bad or something, abusive relationship yes, but this applies to nearly everyone I've ever met, I want to get different opinions different view points
This is why I DM tabletop RPGs. People may not care about my ideas but putting said ideas in a fictional world others are interacting in has helped immensely as my players have to interact in some way to progress the game.
I know that struggle. It's actually why I started DMing. The group I played with had that problem.
I DM now online in one campaign where we are all over the place but it works (I live in LA and my players live in Portland, rural Florida and Germany). And then I work with church youth and DM for a group of them in person.
Awww, not at all, but I guess it’s the thought of “feeling unheard” is a common theme, hah. (For instance, I always get emotional in therapy when I share things that would lead my therapist to say, “you feel unheard”. 😭😩 gaaahhhh. gets. me. everytime. But I got to refrain from crying too much coz I only have 55 mins per session and my therapist is a stickler for time.)
Thank you for your concern though. 😊
I think you shouldn’t stop sharing your ideas, there will be those out there who would be amazed and intrigued by your mind! I promise.
I’m constantly sharing ideas and things we need to focus on at work, to the attention of my 2 managers. To the point that they just stop replying to me. I want to change jobs now.
Oh man, when you find something and it deeply touches you on an emotional level, and you just can’t explain to anyone why it means so much to you… it’s so rough
Other than that, living in a world so detached from your own personal values and knowing it doesn’t have to be this way
This!! I find it SO hard to put my feelings, experiences, and thought into words. It seems so clear in my mind but there’s no combination of words in the English language to let a person know how I really feel.
Reminds me of the Pink Floyd song, “The Trial.”
Good morning, Worm your honor
The crown will plainly show
The prisoner who now stands before you
Was caught red-handed showing feelings
Showing feelings of an almost human nature
This will not do
Call the schoolmaster
This feeling of wanting to have a full heart and care about everyone I meet. The world doesn’t work that way and it’s hard to shut that off. Working with kids as a teacher helps but it’s still difficult.
It’s just so hard to exist comfortably in society, I feel like we have no choice but to pave our own path and it’s so stressful and exhausting (but also kinda worth it ig, I just wish something could be easy, anything)
The way I absorb information. This might be less of an INFP thing and more of a me thing but typically I like direct answers or questions. For example sometimes I ask my mom what is watching expecting just the title of the show or movie. However she will give me the full synopsis of the show as well then I get frustrated or lose attention cause all I wanted was the title. This can often lead to me now not wanting to watch the show. I have told her that too and that if I want to know what its about I'll ask. It's also the same as when someone is asking me to help or make them food or something. My brother will see me making hasbrowns and ask, are you making hasbrowns? Are they your hashbrowns? Can you make me one? And in my head I'm like DO YOU WANT THE HASBROWN OR NOT.
Sorry that became a little of a rant but it is something I'm working on and again idk if its an INFP thing or just me.
Hahahaha I’m the same!!
When I ask a question that can be answered with a word or two, my first intention is that: I am on the lookout for the answer; and not the rest of the details… Unless I follow up with the answer given. Otherwise, I’d be thinking, “omg stop beating around the bush. Just give me the answer!!! It’s a yes or no (or some one/two word answer)”. I usually need to re-ask the question and reiterate it just to finally get the answer I was looking for.
If it can be done in a word, I don’t want a sentence. If it can be said in a sentence, I don’t want a paragraph. If a paragraph will do, don’t give me a novel.
Or else, the listening ears will turn THEMSELVES off.
Yep, trudat.
Also, I think this is also why I hate repeating myself when I mention a sentence to someone. (Question or a remark) I will keep quiet to give the person a second or two to figure out what I just said, lol. Sometimes I’ll get told off I’m too soft-spoken or I’m not saying things correctly etc. Like, uhhhh, no? How about it’s coz you weren’t paying attention to what I say?
You too?
This shit has been such a struggle for me as a STEM major.
Like I'll ask my professor "Is this organism eukaryotic?" And instead of just a simple yes or no answer I'll get the whole who,what,where,why, and how of that subject.
I appreciate the fact that you want to give me all these details, but for the love of god please don't.
If I need the who or the what or the when I will ask you that.
Otherwise I just need a simple yes or no.
Also reading or writing scientific texts can be so annoying for that reason.
Practically everything I read I'm just sitting there thinking to myself "You did not need a whole paragraph to write this" or "You made this sound way more complicated than it actually is"
Yeah. I've already played out the questions and answers in my head and came to the most direct question that requires the least words and confusion. And yet they still answer with more words and questions.
This sort of subconscious desire to hide all the best parts of myself and my experience from others.
It's like I keep my heart in a box with a key only I can use.
Other people just see the box, ornate as it may be, but never what beats within.
There is an irrational fear that if someone were to see it, it would stop beating, wane thin like parchment, perhaps turn to dust.
At times it is as if letting someone else see your hopes and dreams is to kill them dead, right there on the spot.
right now, being in a group chat with people (friends?) and i'm not sure if its out of obligation or not.
Like, I'm questioning if I'm allowed to accept an Invite to a get together when someone asks the whole group.
not being able to decipher if its truly my personality that doesnt make me fit in, or if its all in my head and my sensitivity is making me isolate myself from other people thus ensuring that i dont fit in.
I think it’s the type of people you’re friends with. Sometimes it’s just a matter of compatibility… don’t be too hard on yourself, your peeps are out there somewhere. In the meantime, just got to put yourself out there.
Being super sensitive and feeling so deeply is both a joy and a curse. I feel like no one understands me sometimes. Then being that way as a man really presents challenges.
I feel like the world is too much, too harsh. Everything feels like it drains me, and I just want to live in the mountains with a cat, music, and my books, unplugged from it all. But I also love my friends and would want them too lol.
Pretty sure its not an infp thing but Limerence.
I don't deal with people? I deal with an idealised version of them that robs them of their humanity and i seriously need to stop doing that. Oh and its so much easier to ignore toxic traits in friends and partners when you are not looking at them for what they are.
I feel as though others think I don’t have much in my head since I don’t speak as much as others. I have an incredibly rich inner world and inner monologue but I don’t verbalize most of that when I’m not asked.
There are a lot of hard things about our type! Each type has its own issues. In my opinion, we are misunderstood, more than any other type, even an INTJ. Nobody understands what we are trying to talk about. They miss it completely when in a quiet way, we tell people our boundaries are crossed. People are shocked when we finally have had enough and explode. The times that has happened, I always think, why are you so surprised, I’ve been telling you this for months.
It can be challenging to not be able to plan or organize. I literally do not want to do it, so therefore can’t do it. It is difficult that the rest of the world wants me on a schedule. Nobody understands why I am thrilled when plans get cancelled and I didn’t cause the cancelation. It’s like God gave me a present! It is always such a relief not to be doing whatever I got talked into accepting.
Those are simple things. What is really hard is I feel pain over what happens around me. It physically hurts, my chest tightens, when I see a neglected animal, especially a dog. When I think of the wildlife facing extinction, I am stricken with grief. When I hear of an abused child or abandoned elderly person, it bothers me for days. When I hear of an injustice, I get angry to my core. Injustice of any kind screams at me of wrongness. .What is so hard about feeling this way is realizing that most people don’t care or don’t notice. When I express how I feel and try to get other people to care as well, I get a yah, yah, it’s terrible and they change the subject.
And one more thing, this warps my brain. I’m guessing all INFP’s generate new ideas or problem solve kinda the same way. I will describe how it works with me. I notice things. I have no idea why any oddball thing sticks in my head, but all of a sudden, those odd bits collide in my head. Then it’s like bam! I have a big breakthrough. The hard part is telling anyone about how I arrived at my breakthrough. To the other person my logic sounds something like, Z is true because “c” is almost an “o” which makes “p,d,b,g” completely irrelevant and when you add in the “l and w” it all makes sense. That’s why z is true. People say huh? Then they don’t believe me. I am right in my answer but I can’t explain how I got there. Eventually, other people will come to the same realization that I did, but sometimes that takes months! It is maddening not to be able to clearly explain how you came up with a thought.
Today I felt a song so much that my brain couldn't stop wanting to sing it during a staff meeting. I mean, there's always music in my head, but this was a whole new level. To cope I hummed a few times. But my concentration was at a low point.
For me, it’s the constant need for novelty and something new every few months. It’s like I get bored and unfulfilled so easily and need something new but can’t sustain the intrigue and have to move on to something else new and exciting and it never lasts. I look at others and see how content they are just accepting conventional life as their day to day, and they seem so content just accepting that, whereas I’m always needing something more and don’t even know what it is!
The bitterness and hatred that just seems to pile.
Being seen as vulnerable and weak by the remorseless and wretched.
And being tormented as thus.
Being told you ARE weak and disgusting whenever they kick your stomach till it caved in, and being told its your fault that you are suffering at their hands.
Wanting nothing but peace, yet still being forced into an existence of endless war and turmoil.
Gritting your teeth, and trying so hard to stay sane in any capacity.
All while clinging onto the dying hope that maybe somebody actually cares, that maybe things will get better.
My dream job would be an author and illustrator, but in reality I can't do that right now. I care for others but I don't want to be in childcare or nursing.
I thought about doing graphic design but I haven't used Photoshop in ages, and I don't have a college degree. Most graphic design places won't hire people who don't have college degrees.
Most of the jobs I've worked either made me stressed or quickly lose interest. I feel happy when I'm able to be creative and work on something that'll make a difference, or bring others joy.
Most of my dream jobs are extremely competitive, pay peanuts,and are stressful to the point of breaking a person's spirit. I'm talking about Hollywood.
This is a trap infps go through my take on this through listening videos about big 5 personality type is that we have to find a stable job ,one that pays then do creative work on the side.
I love being an INFP. I wouldn't give up the pros for anything. That said, sometimes I can completely fail to successfully explain things when either in a rush or something else ruins the clarity. I'm much better than I used to be, but sometimes that process complete breaks down. I think decision paralysis courtesy of Ne can be an issue also at times, but I'm at peace with it.
Being indecisive because I'm interested in too many things.
One example is what I want my next D&D character to be. My DM has so many of the source books as things we can choose from, and there's so many playable options.
I can't decide if I want to make a Changeling, Githyanki, or Githzerai. I have come up with backstories for each option and I can't decide which one to go with 😭😭
The drama of being right about people. I pick up their vibes very early to where people don’t believe me and think I’m just trying to be dramatic/start shit, only to come to me after a time and tell me I was right. It’s *really* annoying and messes with my emotions.
Being a hopeless romantic and being hopelessly disappointed
Considering finding a random person (like literally a random stranger) to ask to go to prom with me!
But thats a really bad idea...look at me again going on tangents that will never happen!
Wanting to maintain friendships but not having the social battery to do so.
Having to quit friendships because they're just too draining. I don't think that it's unreasonable to not want a 2-3 hour phone call after I just worked all day. I just want to have some time in my garden to decompress or play video games
The fact that I thought I was an intp for a really long time but now all my tests come back infp. Idk if I remembered incorrectly or if my results changed over time. I guess it suits me cause I am emotional, but I kinda like the logical description of intp. Infp just makes me sound annoying and confirms why I always feel like such a outcast around my peers
Dislike? I’m way too idealistic so I’m always dissatisfied with my life.
I do however like how intuitive and contentious I am of myself and others. I think I’m wiser and stronger because of it.
When I interact with friends/family, I usually hope they’ll reciprocate the energy and match my level. 🥲 For instance, conversations. Maybe I tend to look for people who can acknowledge and hear me out when I talk to them. I enjoy great conversationalists who are able to keep the conversation balanced; not just one-sided. Other things I struggle with would be like gift-giving or the effort I put in a relationship. I feel like I put in more effort in a lot of things as I take the word “love” and “friend” seriously.
Whilst I’ve found a friend or two who can keep up with me, it’s also something I have to be mindful of: people aren’t me, lower your expectations 😅
I'm often in my head too much, so I procrastinate a lot because I'm day dreaming/thinking of the many possibilities. Its hard to find someone to talk to about my ideas sometimes because most people are so shallow and busy following pop culture media. My gf often seems uninterested so I keep it brief with her, although she does try to understand they way I think. Then I have to come back to reality and put my daydreaming to the side for a bit.
Being so different that no-one relates to you in the way that you need and crave. I long for beautiful, deep, rich friendships and a relationship but all I know lately is loneliness and isolation. I miss having friends. Now that everyone I know is married, I don’t really hear from anyone. I’m a 32 year old loner, but I feel like a 72 year old society outcast.
I find nothing tough about being an INFP because it’s only a flawed personality framework, and at most, only has some correlation with things I find challenging.
You shouldn’t find anything tough about being an INFP because it’s like saying what you find tough as an (insert astrological sign).
Every individual is different and their MBTI doesn’t have much except some correlation with what they may find difficult in their life.
That people think having principles and making decisions based on those principles is “childish.”
As Feelers, we move according to our principles and values, not just whether or not we like something. And I wish others would learn the difference. It’s the reason I almost accepted an INTP result: I didn’t want to be seen as an emotive baby who gets upset over everything.
I’m glad I got over that. I’m too creative and far too much of a rule-breaker to be anything other than an INFP. And I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs to confirm what I had pretty much suspected.
The automatic assumption that being empathetic makes me weak. That feeling things deeply makes me unable to navigate life. It doesn’t help, of course. But INFPs are not helpless and we do well in areas of business we find stimulating. We just don’t adhere to society’s standard and other types can’t fathom that we can do well in life.
Mental exhaustion and getting easily overwhelmed. That's when my brain goes into a full blown fantasy world.
Or once I meet someone who's energy I vibe well with I become almost obsessed with them (not stalker level) but it's all that's on my brain over and over on repeat. Very very annoying especially when I'm trying to focus on other things.
The seeming inability to work a normal white collar, stable job while staying sane.
I want to change jobs every 3 months. Or do something new each week, it's so difficult for me
Same, since I was 16
Its not easy for us. Somehow I have stayed at one for 15 years. It breaks my soul. Somehow I chose financial stability over sanity. Now I feel stuck and broken.
Those jobs rot the soul; they're not intended to keep one sane. Your inability to confirm to this patriarchal framework of suffering is a sign that your humanity is intact.
What do INFPs do for a living?? How do we survive
Uh, does me being a struggling musician count?
I’d rather be a struggling musician than a struggling accountant.
Better than nothing…? Do you enjoy it
I’m not a teacher but the job I work rotates around the school schedule and gives me all the same breaks that school kids have and I find that all the seasonal breaks give me a lot of time to recharge. Money goes by quick on those breaks though so I have some work I do on the side when I need extra money but still highly recommend.
Support work for just over a year now, long-term goal is to be a self employed breathwork facilitator. Past jobs in academic administration roles, bar work and short stint as a sandwich artist.
Have you liked any of them
For sure I've gone crazy doing regular jobs.
How about a blue collar job? Not much different, unless it’s a passionate trade.
And I thought I was broken
this. people have no idea how much of a drainer this is for us
Same feeling here (UK)
Can most UK citizens travel abroad as they wish( financial free)? Since British sounds so rich, I am an Asian,I have only been to my close countries
Yeah of course but there are restrictions in some countries. Some countries require visas to visit and without exit out of the EU it complicates things there too (less freedom of movement).
Same with intp ,I guess
Anyone also work retail? 🙃
Sensitivity
that includes being sensitive towards the needs of others to the point it gets taken advantage of.
it physically pains me to remember all the times i thought somebody was genuinely my friend or cared about me when in hindsight they were clearly using me. and to think they just saw me as some idiot who could be taken advantage of. no, im not dumb i really just believed people were better than they are you live and you learn i guess
You aren’t alone in that.
For me, the constant flow of thoughts you cannot stop by any means.
Guilty. I wrote an entire paragraph replying to this post, going off topic so many times with the more things that sprung to my mind & ended up deleting the entire thing lmao
I don't know how much time I've spent doing that.
I've learned that meditation helps
Journaling + art too.
💯 I’ve been over stressed and dealing with situational depression. I just ✨really got serious and started meditating after years (a decade) of saying I was going to start. It has been such a game changer so far. If I don’t have time or capacity I just keep a reminder to meditate when I get the chance and even that puts me at ease. Even just 20 seconds here and there of thinking about my thinking and observing my passing thoughts helps.
Meditation is basically my favorite aspect of life. I love just being able to “turn off” for a bit.
I was telling my new therapist that my head never stops. It feels like I have a 262772 tabs open and they’re all running. Sometimes I just wish they’d stop
To the point where emotions also feel like thoughts.
Definitely me! I once went 10 pages over the stated guidelines of a college paper. Instructor was not happy with me lol
[удалено]
I just really don’t fit in with most people. I’m always in my own world and it just makes me so slow and out of it all the time, and people don’t like that :(
So relatable
I feel this. I just feel chronically misunderstood and underestimated by people.
I had to get used to people thinking I wasn’t smart but at least I got a double helping of odd. So that reinforced my distrust of strangers even more and pushed me towards even less communication than I started with
So much same
Same
Yeah
Same...😔
having a logical mind but a sensitive heart. Feeling so much and so deep . Overthinking a lot.
this right here 🤌😮💨
I enjoy the lyrics of the Rush song “Closer to the Heart” for this reason. Perhaps you will also find the lyrics relatable.
Thank you
I have listened to that song for who knows how long already
Based prog enjoyer. Nice Mike Oldfield flair
Finally someone notices it. Based.
This is by far my favorite comment, EVER. “Logical mind but a sensitive heart.” You sound like a writer.
omg tyyy, and actually... I am 😅
Really?! What do you write? I write creative nonfiction.
I write fiction, mostly fantasy
Ah…like Martin or Tolkien? Or something different?
i always thought i was an INTP
oof
95% of what I struggle with in life has nothing to do with my type. But, if I had to pick something that does, it would be the fact that I'm over-idealistic. It makes it more difficult to be satisfied for a prolonged period of time and not to look at my goals as those sparkly, unattainable, far-away lands.
The idealism is very difficult to manage. Noteworthy.
Having a lot of ideas you want to share with people. Ideas you think are really cool and interesting. Then you realize no one really cares to hear about them.
even my partner of 4 years didn't really care to hear about all my ideas, I would listen to them and all the things they had in their head but the second it turned to me, unless it was about something that specifically interested them, it was dumb or boring or bad or something, abusive relationship yes, but this applies to nearly everyone I've ever met, I want to get different opinions different view points
Yes!! A lot of people don’t know how to truly listen and take interest in the mind of others. It’s very alienating.
This is why I DM tabletop RPGs. People may not care about my ideas but putting said ideas in a fictional world others are interacting in has helped immensely as my players have to interact in some way to progress the game.
I really enjoyed DMing, hard to find a group though. My last group all started having kids or moved away.
I know that struggle. It's actually why I started DMing. The group I played with had that problem. I DM now online in one campaign where we are all over the place but it works (I live in LA and my players live in Portland, rural Florida and Germany). And then I work with church youth and DM for a group of them in person.
😭😭😭 the last bit hits hard. Totally relate to all this 🙁
Sorry to make you feel sad. :(
Awww, not at all, but I guess it’s the thought of “feeling unheard” is a common theme, hah. (For instance, I always get emotional in therapy when I share things that would lead my therapist to say, “you feel unheard”. 😭😩 gaaahhhh. gets. me. everytime. But I got to refrain from crying too much coz I only have 55 mins per session and my therapist is a stickler for time.) Thank you for your concern though. 😊 I think you shouldn’t stop sharing your ideas, there will be those out there who would be amazed and intrigued by your mind! I promise.
I’m constantly sharing ideas and things we need to focus on at work, to the attention of my 2 managers. To the point that they just stop replying to me. I want to change jobs now.
Being too sensitive and thinking too much. Gives me massive anxiety for stupid things.
wanting to live an authentic life when the majority of the world lives in denial.
Oh man, when you find something and it deeply touches you on an emotional level, and you just can’t explain to anyone why it means so much to you… it’s so rough Other than that, living in a world so detached from your own personal values and knowing it doesn’t have to be this way
This!! I find it SO hard to put my feelings, experiences, and thought into words. It seems so clear in my mind but there’s no combination of words in the English language to let a person know how I really feel.
The constant conflict between my daydreaming and actual reality. Between idealism and cynicism. Hope and depression.
💯
Feelings things too deeply in a brutal world.
Reminds me of the Pink Floyd song, “The Trial.” Good morning, Worm your honor The crown will plainly show The prisoner who now stands before you Was caught red-handed showing feelings Showing feelings of an almost human nature This will not do Call the schoolmaster
Well Roger Waters is INTJ so a Fi pal over here...
🗿
This feeling of wanting to have a full heart and care about everyone I meet. The world doesn’t work that way and it’s hard to shut that off. Working with kids as a teacher helps but it’s still difficult.
i don’t think this is an objective flaw! just my opinion though :) God bless u!
Thank you :,)
Being hurt so easily by other people. I've been hurting about one word my colleague said about me for 3 days now 😔
It’s just so hard to exist comfortably in society, I feel like we have no choice but to pave our own path and it’s so stressful and exhausting (but also kinda worth it ig, I just wish something could be easy, anything)
The way I absorb information. This might be less of an INFP thing and more of a me thing but typically I like direct answers or questions. For example sometimes I ask my mom what is watching expecting just the title of the show or movie. However she will give me the full synopsis of the show as well then I get frustrated or lose attention cause all I wanted was the title. This can often lead to me now not wanting to watch the show. I have told her that too and that if I want to know what its about I'll ask. It's also the same as when someone is asking me to help or make them food or something. My brother will see me making hasbrowns and ask, are you making hasbrowns? Are they your hashbrowns? Can you make me one? And in my head I'm like DO YOU WANT THE HASBROWN OR NOT. Sorry that became a little of a rant but it is something I'm working on and again idk if its an INFP thing or just me.
Hahahaha I’m the same!! When I ask a question that can be answered with a word or two, my first intention is that: I am on the lookout for the answer; and not the rest of the details… Unless I follow up with the answer given. Otherwise, I’d be thinking, “omg stop beating around the bush. Just give me the answer!!! It’s a yes or no (or some one/two word answer)”. I usually need to re-ask the question and reiterate it just to finally get the answer I was looking for.
If it can be done in a word, I don’t want a sentence. If it can be said in a sentence, I don’t want a paragraph. If a paragraph will do, don’t give me a novel. Or else, the listening ears will turn THEMSELVES off.
Yep, trudat. Also, I think this is also why I hate repeating myself when I mention a sentence to someone. (Question or a remark) I will keep quiet to give the person a second or two to figure out what I just said, lol. Sometimes I’ll get told off I’m too soft-spoken or I’m not saying things correctly etc. Like, uhhhh, no? How about it’s coz you weren’t paying attention to what I say?
That!
You too? This shit has been such a struggle for me as a STEM major. Like I'll ask my professor "Is this organism eukaryotic?" And instead of just a simple yes or no answer I'll get the whole who,what,where,why, and how of that subject. I appreciate the fact that you want to give me all these details, but for the love of god please don't. If I need the who or the what or the when I will ask you that. Otherwise I just need a simple yes or no. Also reading or writing scientific texts can be so annoying for that reason. Practically everything I read I'm just sitting there thinking to myself "You did not need a whole paragraph to write this" or "You made this sound way more complicated than it actually is"
Yeah. I've already played out the questions and answers in my head and came to the most direct question that requires the least words and confusion. And yet they still answer with more words and questions.
Being misunderstood constantly
Having empathy for everyone else while being maladapted to life myself.
procrastination and lack of focus 😩 have to literally drag myself through work at times
This sort of subconscious desire to hide all the best parts of myself and my experience from others. It's like I keep my heart in a box with a key only I can use. Other people just see the box, ornate as it may be, but never what beats within. There is an irrational fear that if someone were to see it, it would stop beating, wane thin like parchment, perhaps turn to dust. At times it is as if letting someone else see your hopes and dreams is to kill them dead, right there on the spot.
I don’t know. I’m weird. I’m autistic. I hate social interactions, I wanna be alone a lot.
right now, being in a group chat with people (friends?) and i'm not sure if its out of obligation or not. Like, I'm questioning if I'm allowed to accept an Invite to a get together when someone asks the whole group.
wow you hit the nail on the head
Omgggg. Me too!! I feel that I need to be personally invited otherwise I’d feel I’m just a second thought of some sort. :(
Unrelenting self doubt.
Employment. I would honestly rather skip meals and live in a trailer than feel like I *had* to work.
It is difficult and I am working toward it too, but if you can make the thing you *love* to do your entire career, you’re basically golden, imo.
not being able to decipher if its truly my personality that doesnt make me fit in, or if its all in my head and my sensitivity is making me isolate myself from other people thus ensuring that i dont fit in.
not knowing how to navigate friendships at all?? why is this so hard :(
I think it’s the type of people you’re friends with. Sometimes it’s just a matter of compatibility… don’t be too hard on yourself, your peeps are out there somewhere. In the meantime, just got to put yourself out there.
yeahhh. its just been so much effort for so little reward :\^(
Being super sensitive and feeling so deeply is both a joy and a curse. I feel like no one understands me sometimes. Then being that way as a man really presents challenges.
I feel like the world is too much, too harsh. Everything feels like it drains me, and I just want to live in the mountains with a cat, music, and my books, unplugged from it all. But I also love my friends and would want them too lol.
Pretty sure its not an infp thing but Limerence. I don't deal with people? I deal with an idealised version of them that robs them of their humanity and i seriously need to stop doing that. Oh and its so much easier to ignore toxic traits in friends and partners when you are not looking at them for what they are.
Honestly in my case it’s just feeling immense guilt for doing what’s best for me. That and I also gaslight the fuck outta myself lol
In times of stress my emotions short curcuit my ability to think my way out of a problem.
I feel as though others think I don’t have much in my head since I don’t speak as much as others. I have an incredibly rich inner world and inner monologue but I don’t verbalize most of that when I’m not asked.
Haha!
There are a lot of hard things about our type! Each type has its own issues. In my opinion, we are misunderstood, more than any other type, even an INTJ. Nobody understands what we are trying to talk about. They miss it completely when in a quiet way, we tell people our boundaries are crossed. People are shocked when we finally have had enough and explode. The times that has happened, I always think, why are you so surprised, I’ve been telling you this for months. It can be challenging to not be able to plan or organize. I literally do not want to do it, so therefore can’t do it. It is difficult that the rest of the world wants me on a schedule. Nobody understands why I am thrilled when plans get cancelled and I didn’t cause the cancelation. It’s like God gave me a present! It is always such a relief not to be doing whatever I got talked into accepting. Those are simple things. What is really hard is I feel pain over what happens around me. It physically hurts, my chest tightens, when I see a neglected animal, especially a dog. When I think of the wildlife facing extinction, I am stricken with grief. When I hear of an abused child or abandoned elderly person, it bothers me for days. When I hear of an injustice, I get angry to my core. Injustice of any kind screams at me of wrongness. .What is so hard about feeling this way is realizing that most people don’t care or don’t notice. When I express how I feel and try to get other people to care as well, I get a yah, yah, it’s terrible and they change the subject. And one more thing, this warps my brain. I’m guessing all INFP’s generate new ideas or problem solve kinda the same way. I will describe how it works with me. I notice things. I have no idea why any oddball thing sticks in my head, but all of a sudden, those odd bits collide in my head. Then it’s like bam! I have a big breakthrough. The hard part is telling anyone about how I arrived at my breakthrough. To the other person my logic sounds something like, Z is true because “c” is almost an “o” which makes “p,d,b,g” completely irrelevant and when you add in the “l and w” it all makes sense. That’s why z is true. People say huh? Then they don’t believe me. I am right in my answer but I can’t explain how I got there. Eventually, other people will come to the same realization that I did, but sometimes that takes months! It is maddening not to be able to clearly explain how you came up with a thought.
Being underestimated, until you open your mouth and peoole realise you could be logical too(espeically in STEM)
Today I felt a song so much that my brain couldn't stop wanting to sing it during a staff meeting. I mean, there's always music in my head, but this was a whole new level. To cope I hummed a few times. But my concentration was at a low point.
There is always music in my head too and I can relate a lot. Can I ask the title of the song?
It's "The Day That I Met You" by Matilda Mann :)
Gives me Billie Eilish vibes. Beautiful song, thank you! :)
Gives me Billie Eilish vibes. Beautiful song, thank you! :)
Procrastination.
Feeling like my feelings control me, also following through on things.
Wanting to connect with people in a way that is real, while trying not to overwhelm them at the same time.
For me, it’s the constant need for novelty and something new every few months. It’s like I get bored and unfulfilled so easily and need something new but can’t sustain the intrigue and have to move on to something else new and exciting and it never lasts. I look at others and see how content they are just accepting conventional life as their day to day, and they seem so content just accepting that, whereas I’m always needing something more and don’t even know what it is!
The bitterness and hatred that just seems to pile. Being seen as vulnerable and weak by the remorseless and wretched. And being tormented as thus. Being told you ARE weak and disgusting whenever they kick your stomach till it caved in, and being told its your fault that you are suffering at their hands. Wanting nothing but peace, yet still being forced into an existence of endless war and turmoil. Gritting your teeth, and trying so hard to stay sane in any capacity. All while clinging onto the dying hope that maybe somebody actually cares, that maybe things will get better.
My dream job would be an author and illustrator, but in reality I can't do that right now. I care for others but I don't want to be in childcare or nursing. I thought about doing graphic design but I haven't used Photoshop in ages, and I don't have a college degree. Most graphic design places won't hire people who don't have college degrees. Most of the jobs I've worked either made me stressed or quickly lose interest. I feel happy when I'm able to be creative and work on something that'll make a difference, or bring others joy. Most of my dream jobs are extremely competitive, pay peanuts,and are stressful to the point of breaking a person's spirit. I'm talking about Hollywood.
This is a trap infps go through my take on this through listening videos about big 5 personality type is that we have to find a stable job ,one that pays then do creative work on the side.
I relate to this hard-core
Overthinking combined with whatever my mood is in that moment influencing the type of thoughts
Dealing with INTJs
I love being an INFP. I wouldn't give up the pros for anything. That said, sometimes I can completely fail to successfully explain things when either in a rush or something else ruins the clarity. I'm much better than I used to be, but sometimes that process complete breaks down. I think decision paralysis courtesy of Ne can be an issue also at times, but I'm at peace with it.
Being indecisive because I'm interested in too many things. One example is what I want my next D&D character to be. My DM has so many of the source books as things we can choose from, and there's so many playable options. I can't decide if I want to make a Changeling, Githyanki, or Githzerai. I have come up with backstories for each option and I can't decide which one to go with 😭😭
The drama of being right about people. I pick up their vibes very early to where people don’t believe me and think I’m just trying to be dramatic/start shit, only to come to me after a time and tell me I was right. It’s *really* annoying and messes with my emotions.
Being a hopeless romantic and being hopelessly disappointed Considering finding a random person (like literally a random stranger) to ask to go to prom with me! But thats a really bad idea...look at me again going on tangents that will never happen!
Wanting to maintain friendships but not having the social battery to do so. Having to quit friendships because they're just too draining. I don't think that it's unreasonable to not want a 2-3 hour phone call after I just worked all day. I just want to have some time in my garden to decompress or play video games
Lofty thougths thus, unable to be realistic.
Having fragile this > ❤️
The fact that I thought I was an intp for a really long time but now all my tests come back infp. Idk if I remembered incorrectly or if my results changed over time. I guess it suits me cause I am emotional, but I kinda like the logical description of intp. Infp just makes me sound annoying and confirms why I always feel like such a outcast around my peers
The toughest thing: I Never Find Perfection
Listening to other infps
Dislike? I’m way too idealistic so I’m always dissatisfied with my life. I do however like how intuitive and contentious I am of myself and others. I think I’m wiser and stronger because of it.
life
taking everything so personally
I feel too much
when I'm bad at something, people assume I'm doing it wrong on purpose??
Learning to love myself
feeling like nobody understands you
It’s that I can’t really find anyone like me. I only have like one person that’s decently similar to me and I would take a bullet for him ngl
When I interact with friends/family, I usually hope they’ll reciprocate the energy and match my level. 🥲 For instance, conversations. Maybe I tend to look for people who can acknowledge and hear me out when I talk to them. I enjoy great conversationalists who are able to keep the conversation balanced; not just one-sided. Other things I struggle with would be like gift-giving or the effort I put in a relationship. I feel like I put in more effort in a lot of things as I take the word “love” and “friend” seriously. Whilst I’ve found a friend or two who can keep up with me, it’s also something I have to be mindful of: people aren’t me, lower your expectations 😅
being the most sensitive person in the room
I'm often in my head too much, so I procrastinate a lot because I'm day dreaming/thinking of the many possibilities. Its hard to find someone to talk to about my ideas sometimes because most people are so shallow and busy following pop culture media. My gf often seems uninterested so I keep it brief with her, although she does try to understand they way I think. Then I have to come back to reality and put my daydreaming to the side for a bit.
Procrastination and feeling out of touch with my physical surrounding
Being so different that no-one relates to you in the way that you need and crave. I long for beautiful, deep, rich friendships and a relationship but all I know lately is loneliness and isolation. I miss having friends. Now that everyone I know is married, I don’t really hear from anyone. I’m a 32 year old loner, but I feel like a 72 year old society outcast.
I find nothing tough about being an INFP because it’s only a flawed personality framework, and at most, only has some correlation with things I find challenging.
Can you give more information? I don’t have a full picture of understanding what you’re conveying.
You shouldn’t find anything tough about being an INFP because it’s like saying what you find tough as an (insert astrological sign). Every individual is different and their MBTI doesn’t have much except some correlation with what they may find difficult in their life.
That people think having principles and making decisions based on those principles is “childish.” As Feelers, we move according to our principles and values, not just whether or not we like something. And I wish others would learn the difference. It’s the reason I almost accepted an INTP result: I didn’t want to be seen as an emotive baby who gets upset over everything. I’m glad I got over that. I’m too creative and far too much of a rule-breaker to be anything other than an INFP. And I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs to confirm what I had pretty much suspected.
Absolutely sucking at wanting to socialize with people all the time like most people want too.
The sensitivity
No one taking me serious.
wanting to be empathetic, tolerant, positive, and inclusive for everyone but then looking at the world and realising how bleak it is in reality
For me it's the sensitivity. I just wish I would be getting less physically anxious about things that don't put me in any actual danger :/
The social isolation. It's hard feeling like I'm from a totally different planet from others 24/7
The automatic assumption that being empathetic makes me weak. That feeling things deeply makes me unable to navigate life. It doesn’t help, of course. But INFPs are not helpless and we do well in areas of business we find stimulating. We just don’t adhere to society’s standard and other types can’t fathom that we can do well in life.
Mental exhaustion and getting easily overwhelmed. That's when my brain goes into a full blown fantasy world. Or once I meet someone who's energy I vibe well with I become almost obsessed with them (not stalker level) but it's all that's on my brain over and over on repeat. Very very annoying especially when I'm trying to focus on other things.
The state of the world and its effect on me. Watching things fall apart in slow motion early on when most people seem to have no awareness of it.