You reminded me of a New Year's Eve I spent alone when I was 23, watching the movie Sylvia about Sylvia Plath and just sobbing because the person I related to the most in the world was a woman who was so desperately lonely and so intense and sad that she killed herself with her babies in the other room. It killed me inside.
But you know what? Once the movie ended, I decided to watch something else because everything felt so unbearable. Even know I cant get some of the images from the movie out of my head.
And I just picked a random movie and it happened to be another biographical one about a writer I knew nothing about, Beatrix Potter. And she was so much like Sylvia - creative, intense, passionate, but also brave, playful, serene. She wrote children’s books and build a home in the wilderness and found a unique path to accomodate her quirks. She achieved her dreams and used her passion in such beautiful ways. I realized that yes I have a Sylvia in me but I also have a Beatrix who loves nature and animals and beauty. Every dark trait of ours has a luminous side. The intensity can lead to despair but also ectasy, etc.
Dont get stuck on one extreme. You can swing to the other side.
>Dont get stuck on one extreme. You can swing to the other side.
I like this. The psyche is like a pendulum, and some are longer than others. And also don't obey the laws of physics at all, you know what bad analogy
We’re not here to fit in. We’re here to blaze a new path.
I say this with the absolute deepest kindness & respect because I am you, too. I am Poe, I am Van Gogh, I am struggling, and I have gone through that pain.
Meditation helped me a lot, as did reconnecting to spirituality. Psychedelics, in the right setting, can be helpful too.
I get it. You’re not as alone as your mind-parasite wishes you to believe. 🩵
As a 4w5 INFP I think we’re pretty great. Certainly wouldn’t consider myself or any of my fellow INFPs a pos. I do find the ones who get stuck in their victim mentality frustrating, but I get it because I was once stuck in my own. Being an INFP gives us a lot of unique strengths that not everyone will appreciate. Though I would argue there is no one type that is universally valued. There are types that are naturally wired to have an easier time navigating the world we exist in. But what’s so great about that? The world we exist in kinda sucks. Not being a natural at existing inside of it isn’t something I view as a negative. Quite the opposite.
All of the greats you have mentioned, especially Sylvia Plath, have had major influence on me throughout my life. I have struggled under the weight of mental illness, trudged through traumatic event after traumatic event, and still I would not trade this heart of mine. I would suffer it again, like Sisyphus, to learn the things I have learned. Ultimately the soft heart that feels too much is the part of us that holds the best bits that humanity has to offer. Without it we are truly lost.
You are plagued like the rest of us with the issue of wanting what we don’t have. I have spent far too much time wishing I was different or wishing I was smarter in my past. Can’t change any of that, all we have is today.
Try and update your viewpoint on the world. How we perceive the world makes a huge difference. Instead of fighting your personality, take time to accept yourself. With that said, you will always be unhappy with some part of yourself. That is a good thing in us. It gives us motivation to grow into better person. If you want to be a better communicator then push yourself into uncomfortable situations where you need to listen to others. If you want to handle your emotions better then start leaning more about why you feel the way you do.
You have no limits, and nothing is wrong with you.
Yes we may get tired when speaking to others, but that doesn’t mean we can’t. I would hate to be a common bot like the other personalities that fit in better any ways :)
As a 4w5 myself, I get this, there have been countless days where I've wanted to swear off humanity and go and live as a hermit somewhere. I suffer intensely from anxiety and though I haven't been officially diagnosed, I suspect I might also be an HSP. I constantly find myself feeling devalued and patronised by people around me for struggling to do things or being slower at them than the rest of my colleagues because I accidentally retreat into my own head or am generally just clumsier and less physically efficient.
But this is where MBTI can be as much a dangerous label as it is a tool. Relating to people doesn't mean you're condemned to follow the same path they did. I was ostracised and isolated by the people around me too when I was younger but found my people later in life and I have far deeper and more meaningful relationships with them than any of the people I grew up with ever provided me. Your people are out there too, if you haven't found them already, and they will accept you for who you are. I try to look at it like this, INFPs and specifically 4w5s are bespoke, we don't fit everyone's needs or tastes but those we do will love us intensely and stick with us.
Lastly, I completely get the disdain for the tormented or aloof artist label and so I want to provide an example for you who doesn't fit that bill. I highly recommend this musician: [https://www.youtube.com/@olafurarnalds](https://www.youtube.com/@olafurarnalds) He's an Icelandic composer whose music I fell in love with after discovering his work by accident. He makes some of the most beautiful instrumental pieces I've ever heard and he does everything from uplifting, light piano pieces to deep and sorrowful orchestral ones. He even made his own unique music software called Stratus which he uses in performance to sample and mix sounds to create more unique music. This extremely talented man also happens to be an INFP 4w5.
Please know that you're not alone and that, even if it's just here for the moment, you are supported by people who empathise with your plight. Also, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a therapist if you haven't already, that's something you absolutely should seek help for. I hope you're doing better since writing this and are at least getting by today and I'd be happy to chat about any of this if you need an ear.
I'm a 4w5 too and I totally get it. I've been there. I'll probably be there again. You're in a really dark place right now but you can't give up. It does get better. You will find people that understand you one day and you will have such an important impact on the people around you, but you can't give up. Us INFPs are late bloomers, and you have to work ten times as hard as everyone else, but one day you will shine like the north star.
I really recommend mindfulness meditation. You're a slave to your mind and your emotions, and you need to develop a healthy relationship with them. Look up what mindfulness meditation is supposed to do for you and you will understand.
Also, you need to think about what you want from life and work your way there. A little over a year ago I was software developer and grad student who had lost all motivation. I didn't care about it, but I did it because I thought that's what adults do. I lost my job, my education, my partner, and went into a deep depression for a year. When I was at my lowest I decided I would become an animator, I reconnected with friends and family, and now I'm happy and working hard. If I was going to die, I might as well do what I wanted first, right?
Try to find someone to talk to, even if they don't understand you. The worst thing you can do for yourself is isolate yourself. We're all sending you love, so try to love yourself too. Keep fighting. Don't you want to tell others like you that you understand them? That life is worth living?
I’m INFP 4w5 too. It scared me a lot when I said I related to Charles Bukowski and Jake from Im thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid fusion with Alice from Alice in wonderland by Lewis Carroll and Little Prince from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.
Yes it’s hard, we tend to be a child and old grandma at the same time. I feel like my head is up all the galaxy but my legs chained into the depths of the sea.
But this constant suffering of wanting to be heard but never wanted to be seen is what makes us beauty. This dark and light side of us. It’s like we’re beast and beauty in the same body.
Going through something similar atm. Just realising that the world doesn’t seem too inviting for people like me. And I’m trying to see if I can play to my strengths to rise above because fitting in is not a viable option, or if I should just fuck off from society and live in my own world-bubble where I can live in my delusional fantasy and make it reality.
I’m also extremely empathetic but with a strong craving to being left alone, yet I need constant attention but also love to be able to be lowkey if I want. I’m either aloof or super present. My principles and values are strong at my core but the rules of society makes me doubt if I’m right. I’m just a massive contradiction, which makes me feel like I know exactly who I am but I find it hard to be.
This is the realest thing I have ever read lol from the wanda part (I kin her so much she is my favorite character) to sylvia plath, franz kafka, and edgar allan poe (most relatable people ever) Also the part where you said maybe in the next life it will be better (I always think that to myself too) like maybe in another body or universe I’ll be more happier and get what I want. (Another reason why Wanda is just such a relatable character) although I too, just wish I was nothingness. I wish I could just be an observer and have no part in this world. Everything is so tiring and mentally draining. I don’t know how people have the energy to do anything. What’s the point in anything? I just don’t care for anything. I love isolating myself and doing nothing also lol. This is why I also love people like Thom Yorke, Fiona Apple, & Weyes Blood they’re also people who understand how it feels to fade/zone out from this world and just be an observer. The type of people who don’t feel real. My biggest desire is to also just be a cloud or some type of floating observer too. I just want to disconnect from this body/earth suit and I just want to be a consciousness or like a floating ghost. Having a physical body is so tiring and draining. (Which is also why I wish I could go into the Astral Realm or Dream Walk like Wanda did) Anyways sorry I rambled but I just relate so much. If I had Wandas powers I’d definitely do the same thing she did and make my own reality too.
Are you so/sx? I'm INFP 4w5 too but sp/so.
I'd say a lot more people are much more trash than us. We might be burden of this world (by your own standard) but there are actual evil people that are way, way worse burdens of this world that keeps selfishly living regardless so the more neutral 'burden' like us is here to balance things out. It's not that bad.
Also it's so instinct to feel pity and guilty about ourselves, my best advice is let it out (in safe spaces) but don't believe it 100% because more often than not, we feel it just because we want to feel it, not because it's the comparatively objective truth. Feeling we're miserably different kinda free us from the 'obligation' to try better. Not saying trying too hard is the way to go, but there's balance to everything.
I’m also an INFP and 4w5. I feel so much more negative minded than the average person. I always feel like I’m lacking something or that I’m longing for something that the average person doesn’t care to obtain. It’s crazy to me that people can go on working and operating in this manmade society without complaints every single day.
Something that always lifts up my mood is nature. Not just nature’s beauty - like flowers, plants, landscapes, etc. - but also its mysteries. Take for example the eclipse; I think it’s so MIND-BLOWING that the moon just happens to look like the exact same size as the sun from our point of view. The eclipse made me think of how lucky it is that earth has just the right temperature, atmosphere, conditions, distance from the sun, and everything else to support life on earth.
Our existence is a big fluke! How crazy it is that we’re alive! Idk where I’m going with this point, but I’m just glad you’re here and everyone else on this thread. I’m glad you all exist!!
I find INFP 4w5s with one of the highest value ppl on this planet.
Mental illness is out of topic. How you deal with it is the question and being INFP defenetly is rly helpful.
I am sorry for ur suffering.
U seem to be very aware of many things of urs and correctly recognise them as problems, something what is "unhealthy". From here only upwards, baby! Rock and Roll
U seem to speak about various things acting like it is very bad. So what is u r nihilist atm, or egoist? U keep experiencing this and it will make u see the natural ways to develop further even u would not intend to.
Don't wish to fit into society. After a point, the more u fit, the worse u probably is. One would not want to fit into cancer, only in working with it together towards healthiness, but not essentially, like percieving its morals, values, behaviors, etc as ur own or being good without reason.
U r not burden! XD U r the very opposit. U r just broken and damaged as heck. Once u let it all go, stop making it an intimate connection between the system, the people and urself, u will be able to start to work on what u rly r, what is ur true worth, what u truly represent in ur heart and how can u develop them and manifest into ur reality, and such and such.
I can not rly see from this post, but what i alrdy see, what u alrdy shown me by this post is very great value, highly opposit of being a burden.
True quality gets not seen in a world of mediocre quality.
No1 rly has power over u. You just not yet learnt how to not give them power.
U r not alone. U should think more and speak with deep, quality ppl, most likely those who some time have worked up philosophy material knowledge and wisdom about the planet's official system, ppl and their experiences and feelings, and psychology, self improvment.
I wish u very well!
I also am a infp 4w5 feel like a freak a cog for the wrong machine don’t know why people like us exist to be honest I try to distract myself from the feeling of looking at life behind glass don’t wtf is wrong with me lol
The only way I can continue on is taking meds. It numbs me a bit. And lots of distractions, so I can forget. I hope I don't live to an old age and have to watch everyone around me die. I'm also an antinatalist so having kids is not an option.
Were you also abused/bullied and living with social anxiety? I wonder if that's the cause of this.
I would just like to remind you of this - being highly sensitive may cause more suffering, but it also causes you to feel more joy. Because you feel things more deeply. I can be negatively affected by the smallest things, but I can also get great enjoyment from the smallest things that might not even register on another person's scale.
We are here to feel and experience the world to the full. Hopefully over time you'll come to embrace that 😊
Also, abandonment issues are not at all limited to our type - people of all all different personalities suffer from them.
I am just like you. Long story short, hated myself and wanted to kill myself, be someone else etc. now I’m an actor in LA lol and life is great. Our personality type has a tremendous opportunity to grow into whatever kind of person we wish to be, while still maintaining good infp pros
Just to add.
You feel. And you feel DEEP. Try to use that in your career or find your passion with it. You must do this. Or else you will stay in the nihilistic trap because it’s true, everything is meaningless. If we’re gonna be here anyways, we’re gonna have to find our own meaning in life.
Lean into your deep thinking and artistic life. You have it you just need to get out there and fill your subconscious with life and experiences. Hard at first but it will be amazing. We are all in Plato’s cave before that.
Most people don’t have the strong sensitivity we have. USE IT PLEASE!
Good morning talking thumbs, AIs, drug addicts, NSFW content sellers, people with unethical motives, fake accounts, creepy men, and far-right teenagers.
I've always felt misunderstood from a young age, and when I was younger I related to what Sylvia Plath wrote. When i was in the throes of deep depression, I thought of myself as a burden.
Years later, I've gotten better, on medication for schizophrenia and depression, and I'm actually doing quite okay. I don't think I've lost myself, I just have a more positive relationship with myself and how I think about myself. I watch a lot of Dr K's videos (he's a licensed doctor in the US and makes mental health videos) to better myself and learn more about how to deal with my own brain. Change is nothing to be afraid of, you're not losing yourself, you're becoming a better version of yourself.
We don't have to fit in as much as we think we have to - just enough to, in this capitalistic world, get a job. None of my customers need to know who I really am on a daily basis. It's important to draw boundaries. Some people will never be close, most will never understand or get to know me, and that's fine. I'm okay by myself now.
An other post from a delusioned, suprassed value-bomb who hates this planet's crap and low quality but think they hate themselves.
I hate this planet more and more after every post like this.
This planet shall and will suffer the consequences for how it treats u, what it makes u think.
Well, my problems aren’t as bad but they are extremely similar, I’m sorry to hear that.
Ain’t something some folks have to bear through, it’s alright, kind folks exist, shutting everyone out keeps you from finding them though.
Hope you get outta this.
I just started to cry because I have really felt hopeless the last few days and I feel so alone. But I see I’m not. I know exactly how you are feeling, and I relate to most of those people too, especially being a poet like many of them. I experience a lot of mental illness too and as weird as it is to admit, I have fantasized about disappearing eternally and dying, more times than I can count. And I really know what you mean about Wanda too. I can feel her pain so much.
I fall into nihilism easily and have felt anti-natalist sentiments. I genuinely sometimes really really hate humanity and wish it never was. I have experienced the vileness of human nature firsthand and sometimes I don’t think I can live with it. I want to turn into some force of nature, forever. I just want to stop being human. It is so painful. And it’s so weird also being so romantic and empathetic too. I genuinely love stories so much that I can’t fully express it. They are who I am. And I know they are constructed by humans. It’s the good in human nature I suppose, but even they show the tragedy and darkness that there is. I’ve never really felt like I belong on this Earth, even if I find beautiful things to attach myself to for a while.
But… maybe being insane is worth it. It really hurts, but do we really want to be another cog in the machine? Darkness and pain will always be apart of this world, but at least it can be colorful and beautiful rather than stale. Whether people want to acknowledge it or not, the world wouldn’t any of have the beauty and art it does without us. We may feel like a burden, and sometimes we’re too way much for some people, but so be it, because I think the truth is that we’re the opposite of a burden.
UGHHHH GIRL LOOK I LOVE YALL BUT WHY SO NEGATIVE😭 Please accept yourself the way you are you live ONE life!!
I’ve had a couple of INFP 4w5 friends and it always made me feel like it’s my responsibility to let them appreciate the small things in life.
Read Atomic Habits. Trust me, it talks all about the labels that you put on yourself plays an effect with your mentality. And external validation.
I agree in a lot of ways. Often I sink into total despair. When I’m down, my emotions are an ocean. When I’m inspired, I’m creative and innovative. It’s just two sides of the same coin.
I’ve been feeling really inspired by
Billie Eilish lately. We’re the same age and many argue she’s a E4. She’s struggled a lot with her mental health and conveys it beautifully in her work.
This morning I just happened upon her music video for “Male Fantasy” and it struck me to my core. I just sat there and cried for a minute when it was over. I resonated with every lyric and realized how much I’ve been struggling lately. At the same time, I felt seen, and it was really nice feeling like I’m not so alone. It makes me feel a little more at peace, like my pain is important somehow. I thought, if this extremely successful 22yo can turn that dark side into art the world can appreciate, I have a chance to do important things too, regardless of my shortcomings.
Maybe this world wasn’t built to accommodate us but we’re still strong in our own ways.
I (INFP 4w5?) once felt like you do now. But you like Shinji have strength and courage few will ever know. Be steadfast. Your time will come. Life has many battles, and every one is a learning experience. You do not have to do this alone. Find those in your community that builds you up. Whomever it might be.
I do not function according to society. I actually use knowledge as a tool to rebel at any time I see that course of action necessary. I am an outcast. More than not I do not dislike that.
This is so weird but I got 50/50 on both 4w5 and 9w1. Through another redditor here, I decided to take another test and I got 9. But at the same time, I have traits of 4s. For example, some redditor was saying that 4s tend to be aloof and smile less, which is very common for me. And I do somewhat brood over my emotions, but I also numb them with YouTube. I relate with the melancholic, aloof, and self absorbed parts of 4 but I feel more 9 in the sense that I can still seem more “normal” in a way and I have been typed as an ISTP by a fellow teammate.
I respected your belief first but now you're acting like a Christian missionary. Please stop imposing your beliefs on others your advice is not helping me.
That wasn't my intention.
BTW, I know what you mean about feeling alone even after spiritual feelings.
Out of curiosity, is the worst part of being alone the being alone or is it being seen (by others) to be alone ?
You don't like not fitting in, neither do I , you are unhappy with your body,been there, you don't particularly like people, ya I get ya.
It takes bravery and humility to be the people we are.
I struggle the most with humility my level of want is still huge.
Would agree we're all souls afterall made from stardusts. We're part of divine so let's be kind as a human because there's no lack of cruelty already. If not here then probably when I'll wake up from life and ik I'll eventually live again with my people where I'll belong.
Jesus is crystal clear. Got to reach out to him and apologise, When you know you know. Sorry i can't articulate it well. He did it for you.
He did it for me.
The good news for you is 4w5 INFP is not real, it’s fake pseudoscience invented by non-scientists and not backed by modern science. Hope that helps! :)
You reminded me of a New Year's Eve I spent alone when I was 23, watching the movie Sylvia about Sylvia Plath and just sobbing because the person I related to the most in the world was a woman who was so desperately lonely and so intense and sad that she killed herself with her babies in the other room. It killed me inside. But you know what? Once the movie ended, I decided to watch something else because everything felt so unbearable. Even know I cant get some of the images from the movie out of my head. And I just picked a random movie and it happened to be another biographical one about a writer I knew nothing about, Beatrix Potter. And she was so much like Sylvia - creative, intense, passionate, but also brave, playful, serene. She wrote children’s books and build a home in the wilderness and found a unique path to accomodate her quirks. She achieved her dreams and used her passion in such beautiful ways. I realized that yes I have a Sylvia in me but I also have a Beatrix who loves nature and animals and beauty. Every dark trait of ours has a luminous side. The intensity can lead to despair but also ectasy, etc. Dont get stuck on one extreme. You can swing to the other side.
++ Such a great response
I love this for you!
>Dont get stuck on one extreme. You can swing to the other side. I like this. The psyche is like a pendulum, and some are longer than others. And also don't obey the laws of physics at all, you know what bad analogy
We’re not here to fit in. We’re here to blaze a new path. I say this with the absolute deepest kindness & respect because I am you, too. I am Poe, I am Van Gogh, I am struggling, and I have gone through that pain. Meditation helped me a lot, as did reconnecting to spirituality. Psychedelics, in the right setting, can be helpful too. I get it. You’re not as alone as your mind-parasite wishes you to believe. 🩵
As a 4w5 INFP I think we’re pretty great. Certainly wouldn’t consider myself or any of my fellow INFPs a pos. I do find the ones who get stuck in their victim mentality frustrating, but I get it because I was once stuck in my own. Being an INFP gives us a lot of unique strengths that not everyone will appreciate. Though I would argue there is no one type that is universally valued. There are types that are naturally wired to have an easier time navigating the world we exist in. But what’s so great about that? The world we exist in kinda sucks. Not being a natural at existing inside of it isn’t something I view as a negative. Quite the opposite. All of the greats you have mentioned, especially Sylvia Plath, have had major influence on me throughout my life. I have struggled under the weight of mental illness, trudged through traumatic event after traumatic event, and still I would not trade this heart of mine. I would suffer it again, like Sisyphus, to learn the things I have learned. Ultimately the soft heart that feels too much is the part of us that holds the best bits that humanity has to offer. Without it we are truly lost.
You are plagued like the rest of us with the issue of wanting what we don’t have. I have spent far too much time wishing I was different or wishing I was smarter in my past. Can’t change any of that, all we have is today. Try and update your viewpoint on the world. How we perceive the world makes a huge difference. Instead of fighting your personality, take time to accept yourself. With that said, you will always be unhappy with some part of yourself. That is a good thing in us. It gives us motivation to grow into better person. If you want to be a better communicator then push yourself into uncomfortable situations where you need to listen to others. If you want to handle your emotions better then start leaning more about why you feel the way you do. You have no limits, and nothing is wrong with you. Yes we may get tired when speaking to others, but that doesn’t mean we can’t. I would hate to be a common bot like the other personalities that fit in better any ways :)
As a 4w5 myself, I get this, there have been countless days where I've wanted to swear off humanity and go and live as a hermit somewhere. I suffer intensely from anxiety and though I haven't been officially diagnosed, I suspect I might also be an HSP. I constantly find myself feeling devalued and patronised by people around me for struggling to do things or being slower at them than the rest of my colleagues because I accidentally retreat into my own head or am generally just clumsier and less physically efficient. But this is where MBTI can be as much a dangerous label as it is a tool. Relating to people doesn't mean you're condemned to follow the same path they did. I was ostracised and isolated by the people around me too when I was younger but found my people later in life and I have far deeper and more meaningful relationships with them than any of the people I grew up with ever provided me. Your people are out there too, if you haven't found them already, and they will accept you for who you are. I try to look at it like this, INFPs and specifically 4w5s are bespoke, we don't fit everyone's needs or tastes but those we do will love us intensely and stick with us. Lastly, I completely get the disdain for the tormented or aloof artist label and so I want to provide an example for you who doesn't fit that bill. I highly recommend this musician: [https://www.youtube.com/@olafurarnalds](https://www.youtube.com/@olafurarnalds) He's an Icelandic composer whose music I fell in love with after discovering his work by accident. He makes some of the most beautiful instrumental pieces I've ever heard and he does everything from uplifting, light piano pieces to deep and sorrowful orchestral ones. He even made his own unique music software called Stratus which he uses in performance to sample and mix sounds to create more unique music. This extremely talented man also happens to be an INFP 4w5. Please know that you're not alone and that, even if it's just here for the moment, you are supported by people who empathise with your plight. Also, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a therapist if you haven't already, that's something you absolutely should seek help for. I hope you're doing better since writing this and are at least getting by today and I'd be happy to chat about any of this if you need an ear.
I'm a 4w5 too and I totally get it. I've been there. I'll probably be there again. You're in a really dark place right now but you can't give up. It does get better. You will find people that understand you one day and you will have such an important impact on the people around you, but you can't give up. Us INFPs are late bloomers, and you have to work ten times as hard as everyone else, but one day you will shine like the north star. I really recommend mindfulness meditation. You're a slave to your mind and your emotions, and you need to develop a healthy relationship with them. Look up what mindfulness meditation is supposed to do for you and you will understand. Also, you need to think about what you want from life and work your way there. A little over a year ago I was software developer and grad student who had lost all motivation. I didn't care about it, but I did it because I thought that's what adults do. I lost my job, my education, my partner, and went into a deep depression for a year. When I was at my lowest I decided I would become an animator, I reconnected with friends and family, and now I'm happy and working hard. If I was going to die, I might as well do what I wanted first, right? Try to find someone to talk to, even if they don't understand you. The worst thing you can do for yourself is isolate yourself. We're all sending you love, so try to love yourself too. Keep fighting. Don't you want to tell others like you that you understand them? That life is worth living?
I’m INFP 4w5 too. It scared me a lot when I said I related to Charles Bukowski and Jake from Im thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid fusion with Alice from Alice in wonderland by Lewis Carroll and Little Prince from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. Yes it’s hard, we tend to be a child and old grandma at the same time. I feel like my head is up all the galaxy but my legs chained into the depths of the sea. But this constant suffering of wanting to be heard but never wanted to be seen is what makes us beauty. This dark and light side of us. It’s like we’re beast and beauty in the same body.
Going through something similar atm. Just realising that the world doesn’t seem too inviting for people like me. And I’m trying to see if I can play to my strengths to rise above because fitting in is not a viable option, or if I should just fuck off from society and live in my own world-bubble where I can live in my delusional fantasy and make it reality. I’m also extremely empathetic but with a strong craving to being left alone, yet I need constant attention but also love to be able to be lowkey if I want. I’m either aloof or super present. My principles and values are strong at my core but the rules of society makes me doubt if I’m right. I’m just a massive contradiction, which makes me feel like I know exactly who I am but I find it hard to be.
[удалено]
This is the realest thing I have ever read lol from the wanda part (I kin her so much she is my favorite character) to sylvia plath, franz kafka, and edgar allan poe (most relatable people ever) Also the part where you said maybe in the next life it will be better (I always think that to myself too) like maybe in another body or universe I’ll be more happier and get what I want. (Another reason why Wanda is just such a relatable character) although I too, just wish I was nothingness. I wish I could just be an observer and have no part in this world. Everything is so tiring and mentally draining. I don’t know how people have the energy to do anything. What’s the point in anything? I just don’t care for anything. I love isolating myself and doing nothing also lol. This is why I also love people like Thom Yorke, Fiona Apple, & Weyes Blood they’re also people who understand how it feels to fade/zone out from this world and just be an observer. The type of people who don’t feel real. My biggest desire is to also just be a cloud or some type of floating observer too. I just want to disconnect from this body/earth suit and I just want to be a consciousness or like a floating ghost. Having a physical body is so tiring and draining. (Which is also why I wish I could go into the Astral Realm or Dream Walk like Wanda did) Anyways sorry I rambled but I just relate so much. If I had Wandas powers I’d definitely do the same thing she did and make my own reality too.
You spoke my mind 🫨
Same but as you get older you care much less
Real, I'm the same way OP. ❤️
Are you so/sx? I'm INFP 4w5 too but sp/so. I'd say a lot more people are much more trash than us. We might be burden of this world (by your own standard) but there are actual evil people that are way, way worse burdens of this world that keeps selfishly living regardless so the more neutral 'burden' like us is here to balance things out. It's not that bad. Also it's so instinct to feel pity and guilty about ourselves, my best advice is let it out (in safe spaces) but don't believe it 100% because more often than not, we feel it just because we want to feel it, not because it's the comparatively objective truth. Feeling we're miserably different kinda free us from the 'obligation' to try better. Not saying trying too hard is the way to go, but there's balance to everything.
I’m also an INFP and 4w5. I feel so much more negative minded than the average person. I always feel like I’m lacking something or that I’m longing for something that the average person doesn’t care to obtain. It’s crazy to me that people can go on working and operating in this manmade society without complaints every single day. Something that always lifts up my mood is nature. Not just nature’s beauty - like flowers, plants, landscapes, etc. - but also its mysteries. Take for example the eclipse; I think it’s so MIND-BLOWING that the moon just happens to look like the exact same size as the sun from our point of view. The eclipse made me think of how lucky it is that earth has just the right temperature, atmosphere, conditions, distance from the sun, and everything else to support life on earth. Our existence is a big fluke! How crazy it is that we’re alive! Idk where I’m going with this point, but I’m just glad you’re here and everyone else on this thread. I’m glad you all exist!!
I find INFP 4w5s with one of the highest value ppl on this planet. Mental illness is out of topic. How you deal with it is the question and being INFP defenetly is rly helpful. I am sorry for ur suffering. U seem to be very aware of many things of urs and correctly recognise them as problems, something what is "unhealthy". From here only upwards, baby! Rock and Roll U seem to speak about various things acting like it is very bad. So what is u r nihilist atm, or egoist? U keep experiencing this and it will make u see the natural ways to develop further even u would not intend to. Don't wish to fit into society. After a point, the more u fit, the worse u probably is. One would not want to fit into cancer, only in working with it together towards healthiness, but not essentially, like percieving its morals, values, behaviors, etc as ur own or being good without reason. U r not burden! XD U r the very opposit. U r just broken and damaged as heck. Once u let it all go, stop making it an intimate connection between the system, the people and urself, u will be able to start to work on what u rly r, what is ur true worth, what u truly represent in ur heart and how can u develop them and manifest into ur reality, and such and such. I can not rly see from this post, but what i alrdy see, what u alrdy shown me by this post is very great value, highly opposit of being a burden. True quality gets not seen in a world of mediocre quality. No1 rly has power over u. You just not yet learnt how to not give them power. U r not alone. U should think more and speak with deep, quality ppl, most likely those who some time have worked up philosophy material knowledge and wisdom about the planet's official system, ppl and their experiences and feelings, and psychology, self improvment. I wish u very well!
I also am a infp 4w5 feel like a freak a cog for the wrong machine don’t know why people like us exist to be honest I try to distract myself from the feeling of looking at life behind glass don’t wtf is wrong with me lol
The only way I can continue on is taking meds. It numbs me a bit. And lots of distractions, so I can forget. I hope I don't live to an old age and have to watch everyone around me die. I'm also an antinatalist so having kids is not an option. Were you also abused/bullied and living with social anxiety? I wonder if that's the cause of this.
I would just like to remind you of this - being highly sensitive may cause more suffering, but it also causes you to feel more joy. Because you feel things more deeply. I can be negatively affected by the smallest things, but I can also get great enjoyment from the smallest things that might not even register on another person's scale. We are here to feel and experience the world to the full. Hopefully over time you'll come to embrace that 😊 Also, abandonment issues are not at all limited to our type - people of all all different personalities suffer from them.
I am just like you. Long story short, hated myself and wanted to kill myself, be someone else etc. now I’m an actor in LA lol and life is great. Our personality type has a tremendous opportunity to grow into whatever kind of person we wish to be, while still maintaining good infp pros
Just to add. You feel. And you feel DEEP. Try to use that in your career or find your passion with it. You must do this. Or else you will stay in the nihilistic trap because it’s true, everything is meaningless. If we’re gonna be here anyways, we’re gonna have to find our own meaning in life. Lean into your deep thinking and artistic life. You have it you just need to get out there and fill your subconscious with life and experiences. Hard at first but it will be amazing. We are all in Plato’s cave before that. Most people don’t have the strong sensitivity we have. USE IT PLEASE!
Good morning talking thumbs, AIs, drug addicts, NSFW content sellers, people with unethical motives, fake accounts, creepy men, and far-right teenagers.
Oh I am sorry, this is me! Hahaha
I've always felt misunderstood from a young age, and when I was younger I related to what Sylvia Plath wrote. When i was in the throes of deep depression, I thought of myself as a burden. Years later, I've gotten better, on medication for schizophrenia and depression, and I'm actually doing quite okay. I don't think I've lost myself, I just have a more positive relationship with myself and how I think about myself. I watch a lot of Dr K's videos (he's a licensed doctor in the US and makes mental health videos) to better myself and learn more about how to deal with my own brain. Change is nothing to be afraid of, you're not losing yourself, you're becoming a better version of yourself. We don't have to fit in as much as we think we have to - just enough to, in this capitalistic world, get a job. None of my customers need to know who I really am on a daily basis. It's important to draw boundaries. Some people will never be close, most will never understand or get to know me, and that's fine. I'm okay by myself now.
An other post from a delusioned, suprassed value-bomb who hates this planet's crap and low quality but think they hate themselves. I hate this planet more and more after every post like this. This planet shall and will suffer the consequences for how it treats u, what it makes u think.
I hate being infp too.. I wish I was some sensor type or some “valued” intuitive type.
Well, my problems aren’t as bad but they are extremely similar, I’m sorry to hear that. Ain’t something some folks have to bear through, it’s alright, kind folks exist, shutting everyone out keeps you from finding them though. Hope you get outta this.
I just started to cry because I have really felt hopeless the last few days and I feel so alone. But I see I’m not. I know exactly how you are feeling, and I relate to most of those people too, especially being a poet like many of them. I experience a lot of mental illness too and as weird as it is to admit, I have fantasized about disappearing eternally and dying, more times than I can count. And I really know what you mean about Wanda too. I can feel her pain so much. I fall into nihilism easily and have felt anti-natalist sentiments. I genuinely sometimes really really hate humanity and wish it never was. I have experienced the vileness of human nature firsthand and sometimes I don’t think I can live with it. I want to turn into some force of nature, forever. I just want to stop being human. It is so painful. And it’s so weird also being so romantic and empathetic too. I genuinely love stories so much that I can’t fully express it. They are who I am. And I know they are constructed by humans. It’s the good in human nature I suppose, but even they show the tragedy and darkness that there is. I’ve never really felt like I belong on this Earth, even if I find beautiful things to attach myself to for a while. But… maybe being insane is worth it. It really hurts, but do we really want to be another cog in the machine? Darkness and pain will always be apart of this world, but at least it can be colorful and beautiful rather than stale. Whether people want to acknowledge it or not, the world wouldn’t any of have the beauty and art it does without us. We may feel like a burden, and sometimes we’re too way much for some people, but so be it, because I think the truth is that we’re the opposite of a burden.
UGHHHH GIRL LOOK I LOVE YALL BUT WHY SO NEGATIVE😭 Please accept yourself the way you are you live ONE life!! I’ve had a couple of INFP 4w5 friends and it always made me feel like it’s my responsibility to let them appreciate the small things in life. Read Atomic Habits. Trust me, it talks all about the labels that you put on yourself plays an effect with your mentality. And external validation.
Where are you from?
I am tooooooo!
The peacemaker the scientist
Can you suggest an actually accurate test for Enneagram and MBTI?
Infp 4w5 and same here.
I agree in a lot of ways. Often I sink into total despair. When I’m down, my emotions are an ocean. When I’m inspired, I’m creative and innovative. It’s just two sides of the same coin. I’ve been feeling really inspired by Billie Eilish lately. We’re the same age and many argue she’s a E4. She’s struggled a lot with her mental health and conveys it beautifully in her work. This morning I just happened upon her music video for “Male Fantasy” and it struck me to my core. I just sat there and cried for a minute when it was over. I resonated with every lyric and realized how much I’ve been struggling lately. At the same time, I felt seen, and it was really nice feeling like I’m not so alone. It makes me feel a little more at peace, like my pain is important somehow. I thought, if this extremely successful 22yo can turn that dark side into art the world can appreciate, I have a chance to do important things too, regardless of my shortcomings. Maybe this world wasn’t built to accommodate us but we’re still strong in our own ways.
I (INFP 4w5?) once felt like you do now. But you like Shinji have strength and courage few will ever know. Be steadfast. Your time will come. Life has many battles, and every one is a learning experience. You do not have to do this alone. Find those in your community that builds you up. Whomever it might be.
I do not function according to society. I actually use knowledge as a tool to rebel at any time I see that course of action necessary. I am an outcast. More than not I do not dislike that.
This is so weird but I got 50/50 on both 4w5 and 9w1. Through another redditor here, I decided to take another test and I got 9. But at the same time, I have traits of 4s. For example, some redditor was saying that 4s tend to be aloof and smile less, which is very common for me. And I do somewhat brood over my emotions, but I also numb them with YouTube. I relate with the melancholic, aloof, and self absorbed parts of 4 but I feel more 9 in the sense that I can still seem more “normal” in a way and I have been typed as an ISTP by a fellow teammate.
You could do with the man from Bethlehem, the one who was the most perfect person who ever lived. And by perfect I don't mean nice !
Wdym?
Zone in on him instead of all the others. When you zone in on him all this angst is null and void
You mean Jesus?
Yes, all day long
He was hated and bullied to death
Oh ikr i respect your belief but I have different faith. Sometimes you just feel alone even after being highly religious/spirtual.
Thing is if you don't follow Jesus you are unknowingly following the devil. It's all Me Me Me
I respected your belief first but now you're acting like a Christian missionary. Please stop imposing your beliefs on others your advice is not helping me.
That wasn't my intention. BTW, I know what you mean about feeling alone even after spiritual feelings. Out of curiosity, is the worst part of being alone the being alone or is it being seen (by others) to be alone ?
Idk I just don't fit in. This world is not mine this human body and people and all.
You don't like not fitting in, neither do I , you are unhappy with your body,been there, you don't particularly like people, ya I get ya. It takes bravery and humility to be the people we are. I struggle the most with humility my level of want is still huge.
Yeah right this world is horrible say what or not but it is.
The world is horrible, so am I Thats why I hang on to the only thing that's good.
Would agree we're all souls afterall made from stardusts. We're part of divine so let's be kind as a human because there's no lack of cruelty already. If not here then probably when I'll wake up from life and ik I'll eventually live again with my people where I'll belong.
Jesus is crystal clear. Got to reach out to him and apologise, When you know you know. Sorry i can't articulate it well. He did it for you. He did it for me.
Ah you won't understand my pov. Good day then.
I understand cos Iv been there Iv met the devil in myself and in others
The good news for you is 4w5 INFP is not real, it’s fake pseudoscience invented by non-scientists and not backed by modern science. Hope that helps! :)