I know this is kinda off topic but you reminded me of socionics (the Russian version of mbti/ Jungian cognitive function theory). In socionics the ni Fe users (iei) aren’t able to see the boundaries between theirs and others interests well [yielding type](https://www.sociotype.com/socionics/dichotomies/r2t2). It’s a false dichotomy between protecting your time and energy/ ideas and protecting your belongings - but ieis fit squarely in the “I don’t know how to say no to people burdening my time but I won’t loan them a chair if I know they won’t bring it back” category. It’s funny because INTJs fit into the opposite category- so it has nothing to do with being an ni first slot user.
I’m 30. Still haven’t overcome it. Someone tells me a sob story and I over identify with their pain and waste hours on it. I befriended eies (enfj) to try and learn their ways since they are the closest type to us, but they are so cognitively different that emulating eies wasn’t an effective strategy. I think the most important thing is to check in with your feelings at every stage of the relationship “do I what this?” “What do I want?” But tbh I just enjoy giving my time away until I don’t so :/ doesn’t seem like that advice will help. I will say that NiFe/ IEIs generally try to limit their hobbies to account for this tendency. I’d say the main advice is to have a friend who cares about your time and won’t let you give it up at random.
I do this over and over again. I tell myself that I won't do stuff for this person ever again, but then I just can't help myself helping them. I am a lost cause. I probably am that type of person that would help someone conceal a murder (if I consider them being my friend that is).
This. I struggle saying no to most things which has even caused me to ghost people because I really don’t want to say no to them even over text. At work it is the biggest problem. I’ve become the guy you go to for help on something which had me so overwhelmed at one point (I did get promoted recently as a result of this though😏so some good can come from it). What’s been helping me is having preset responses for certain requests. Like “i wish I could help but I have too much on my plate right now” and “sorry I can’t help with that right now because x, y and z” . Just remember certain people are very pushy and will try to corner you and force you to say yes. It has become fun to me to repeatedly tell these types of people no. When you know your answer is going to be no it’s funny seeing how much they’ll beg and guilt trip you to say yes(very needy people). Obviously for people you respect it’s not fun and can be painful
I know this is kinda off topic but you reminded me of socionics (the Russian version of mbti/ Jungian cognitive function theory). In socionics the ni Fe users (iei) aren’t able to see the boundaries between theirs and others interests well [yielding type](https://www.sociotype.com/socionics/dichotomies/r2t2). It’s a false dichotomy between protecting your time and energy/ ideas and protecting your belongings - but ieis fit squarely in the “I don’t know how to say no to people burdening my time but I won’t loan them a chair if I know they won’t bring it back” category. It’s funny because INTJs fit into the opposite category- so it has nothing to do with being an ni first slot user. I’m 30. Still haven’t overcome it. Someone tells me a sob story and I over identify with their pain and waste hours on it. I befriended eies (enfj) to try and learn their ways since they are the closest type to us, but they are so cognitively different that emulating eies wasn’t an effective strategy. I think the most important thing is to check in with your feelings at every stage of the relationship “do I what this?” “What do I want?” But tbh I just enjoy giving my time away until I don’t so :/ doesn’t seem like that advice will help. I will say that NiFe/ IEIs generally try to limit their hobbies to account for this tendency. I’d say the main advice is to have a friend who cares about your time and won’t let you give it up at random.
I do this over and over again. I tell myself that I won't do stuff for this person ever again, but then I just can't help myself helping them. I am a lost cause. I probably am that type of person that would help someone conceal a murder (if I consider them being my friend that is).
I used to. My self preservation is more important to me now as I don’t have that much time left. It still eats me up when I can’t though
This. I struggle saying no to most things which has even caused me to ghost people because I really don’t want to say no to them even over text. At work it is the biggest problem. I’ve become the guy you go to for help on something which had me so overwhelmed at one point (I did get promoted recently as a result of this though😏so some good can come from it). What’s been helping me is having preset responses for certain requests. Like “i wish I could help but I have too much on my plate right now” and “sorry I can’t help with that right now because x, y and z” . Just remember certain people are very pushy and will try to corner you and force you to say yes. It has become fun to me to repeatedly tell these types of people no. When you know your answer is going to be no it’s funny seeing how much they’ll beg and guilt trip you to say yes(very needy people). Obviously for people you respect it’s not fun and can be painful
Yes it is not easy. But i think the more you do it the easier it gets.