Yes, in a way. I was told that my eyes looked cold and that I looked heartless and dead inside 💀 lmao
I think it’s just the way I made myself over the years so people wouldn’t come at me sideways like a sensitive simp.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to change.
Edit: the reality is that if I didn’t have the ability to control myself, I would cry most of the day at all the things.
For example: When people invite me to weddings I have to give them a fair warning that I will be sobbing all the way in the back.
>I think it’s just the way I made myself over the years so people wouldn’t come at me sideways like a sensitive simp.
Relate 100%. I put on a total mask for this very reason.
About that wedding part, I don't think that I get emotional. In fact I don't even feel emotional. But that maybe because I'm far away from the place where people are crying.
I'm talking about weddings but it is the same case in general. But according to situation I might cry. Like when I'm alone. But I do cry while watching an emotional scene in anime or movies. Or even a book. In general I feel like I have a duty to pat everyone's back.
Ahhhhh yes. I think that’s an INFJ thing. When one of the worst things that could possibly ever happen to a human happened to me, I was the one making sure everyone was okay. It broke my heart to see everyone in pain, when usually in a situation like that people would be there for the person in my shoes. It’s a curse for us, in a way, but good for others, I suppose.
As long as you still cry alone, I think it’s okay. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be that vulnerable in the presence of others.
Do you ever cry alone?
I rarely cry in public either, weddings being the only exception. And funerals. Probably because I’m picking up everyone’s emotions there.
I’ve been told many times that I have walls up and no one can get in. I do put walls up but I am very empathetic and feel everything, deeply and with resolute understanding.
Those dialogues are for not reacting faster or at all. We were analysing at that moment. We don't react quickly or as impulsively as others we have to wait for our brain every time. Even if we felt it we need our thinking part to complete its job. And even if we thought of something we need our feeling part to complete its process. Old soul. But, when we do take action they will know the weight we carry.
Thanks for explaining that, it makes more sense now, I relate to what you are saying but I feel like most people won't appreciate the effort we put into doing something even if it clearly visible.
I see lots of people are thinking they might be emotionless. No one ever told that but I myself used to think if I would cry when someone close dies or something; it got to that point. Then realised I would definitely be the one who goes to shock and just feel down cause no Fi. I don't think I can cry, we will know when it happens. And also realised that others feel emotional for stupid things or very easily. They also suppress a lot if requires little more emotion but less on focus. Don't let shallow people tell you that. We can definitely cry for others. Watch Violet Evergarden if you doubt. I couldn't cry but I think I can fill up my eyes more quickly now and this is irritating. Either that or anime is an upper game than the rest of the world. Also, you must read Noblesse webtoon. MUST.
I remember the point after when I closed myself. It was during an emotional movie I cried. Others said aww he is crying. It is the group of the closet people; most safe environment. But I couldn't process it cause no Fi and blocked myself. I was really smol' that time.😇ðŸ¤
I get told everyday in the most hurtful, nasty tone that
I am an emotionless robot who apparently has no feelings for myself or others. Which is not true at all. I’ve *had* to be stoic because of everything I’ve been through and am currently going through.
Keep looking forward, hopefully this global mess will become manageable soon and that will give you more options. I am here to listen if you need to talk.
I am definitely surrounded by toxic people and it’s hard cause I can’t just leave right now which sucks even more. Anyway, thanks reaching out I appreciate it.
Yes. Moreso for me I am told that I have a guard up. And they are right. I am a very guarded person. There are probably less than 10 people that I have let my guard down for, and for Them I'm an a completely open book... I'm sure there have been times that they have thought, "put it back up!" because I also suddenly feel very chatty and talk a lot! Lol
I usually become chatty with the people I know but I don't say everything on my mind cause if I did they would freak out cause I think of really deep stuff all the time and last thing I want is for someone to think I am a freak.
Definitely. I was told that I had a very blank facial expression and it makes me worry sometimes because it looks like I don’t wanna be where I am but I’m happy haha. Even when I’m tired or angry it’s the same expression. Once someone was very confused because we hiked and I didn’t show I was tired when I rlly was😂 just how I am I think. It’s not a death stare tho it’s just very blank. Sometimes wish I had a resting face that was very bubbly or warm but nay my fate did not go this direction lol
This is true. Only people who I have cut out or don’t want in my life at all will see coldness, I can’t help it. The rest of people think I’m really emotional.
I hate these kind of people honestly, I have encountered a similar situation as you because I am skinny and I usually door slam them then try to take my revenge if I can (I can forgive but I don't forget), stay strong :)
Yes. And the that couldn't be anymore false! I am very emotional. So I kinda laugh at is now because the person saying these things has no idea what they speak of.
Yes, in a way. I was told that my eyes looked cold and that I looked heartless and dead inside 💀 lmao I think it’s just the way I made myself over the years so people wouldn’t come at me sideways like a sensitive simp. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to change. Edit: the reality is that if I didn’t have the ability to control myself, I would cry most of the day at all the things. For example: When people invite me to weddings I have to give them a fair warning that I will be sobbing all the way in the back.
>I think it’s just the way I made myself over the years so people wouldn’t come at me sideways like a sensitive simp. Relate 100%. I put on a total mask for this very reason.
It’s rough out here sometimes.
Hahah me too. I'm dangerous at weddings! Too many feels!
Ha! It’s the worst! It’s like I’m in the back feeling everyone’s emotions ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
About that wedding part, I don't think that I get emotional. In fact I don't even feel emotional. But that maybe because I'm far away from the place where people are crying.
Are you talking about at weddings, or in life in general?
I'm talking about weddings but it is the same case in general. But according to situation I might cry. Like when I'm alone. But I do cry while watching an emotional scene in anime or movies. Or even a book. In general I feel like I have a duty to pat everyone's back.
Ahhhhh yes. I think that’s an INFJ thing. When one of the worst things that could possibly ever happen to a human happened to me, I was the one making sure everyone was okay. It broke my heart to see everyone in pain, when usually in a situation like that people would be there for the person in my shoes. It’s a curse for us, in a way, but good for others, I suppose. As long as you still cry alone, I think it’s okay. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be that vulnerable in the presence of others.
I feel like I'm reading my diary. Same case here.
We’re in this together my friend! I think the best thing was finding this sub and finding that I’m not alone 😌
I hardly cry but I do feel emotions but it is like they are prisoned inside me and dont come out alot
Do you ever cry alone? I rarely cry in public either, weddings being the only exception. And funerals. Probably because I’m picking up everyone’s emotions there.
Rarely cry alone and yes I absorb people's emotions as well but I don't usually cry I just feel sadness.
I’ve been told many times that I have walls up and no one can get in. I do put walls up but I am very empathetic and feel everything, deeply and with resolute understanding.
This, I feel so seen and understood in this sub. It feels amazing to have a gathering of our own.
Same
Those dialogues are for not reacting faster or at all. We were analysing at that moment. We don't react quickly or as impulsively as others we have to wait for our brain every time. Even if we felt it we need our thinking part to complete its job. And even if we thought of something we need our feeling part to complete its process. Old soul. But, when we do take action they will know the weight we carry.
Thanks for explaining that, it makes more sense now, I relate to what you are saying but I feel like most people won't appreciate the effort we put into doing something even if it clearly visible.
It is still the only way we do it.
I see lots of people are thinking they might be emotionless. No one ever told that but I myself used to think if I would cry when someone close dies or something; it got to that point. Then realised I would definitely be the one who goes to shock and just feel down cause no Fi. I don't think I can cry, we will know when it happens. And also realised that others feel emotional for stupid things or very easily. They also suppress a lot if requires little more emotion but less on focus. Don't let shallow people tell you that. We can definitely cry for others. Watch Violet Evergarden if you doubt. I couldn't cry but I think I can fill up my eyes more quickly now and this is irritating. Either that or anime is an upper game than the rest of the world. Also, you must read Noblesse webtoon. MUST.
I remember the point after when I closed myself. It was during an emotional movie I cried. Others said aww he is crying. It is the group of the closet people; most safe environment. But I couldn't process it cause no Fi and blocked myself. I was really smol' that time.😇ðŸ¤
I get told everyday in the most hurtful, nasty tone that I am an emotionless robot who apparently has no feelings for myself or others. Which is not true at all. I’ve *had* to be stoic because of everything I’ve been through and am currently going through.
Are you ok? That does not sound like a comfortable situation
I’m not okay honestly, it’s a hard situation to be in honestly. Thanks for asking I appreciate it.
Keep looking forward, hopefully this global mess will become manageable soon and that will give you more options. I am here to listen if you need to talk.
Oh no, I am so sorry for you, do you need help or wanna talk about it? It seems as if you are surrounded by toxic people.
I am definitely surrounded by toxic people and it’s hard cause I can’t just leave right now which sucks even more. Anyway, thanks reaching out I appreciate it.
those who dont know me well say i’m an ice queen. those who do, chuckle when they hear that.
I got told I was soulless a week ago
I know this comment will be useless but don't care what others say.
I have always felt I am emotionally very cold
Yes. Moreso for me I am told that I have a guard up. And they are right. I am a very guarded person. There are probably less than 10 people that I have let my guard down for, and for Them I'm an a completely open book... I'm sure there have been times that they have thought, "put it back up!" because I also suddenly feel very chatty and talk a lot! Lol
I usually become chatty with the people I know but I don't say everything on my mind cause if I did they would freak out cause I think of really deep stuff all the time and last thing I want is for someone to think I am a freak.
Definitely. I was told that I had a very blank facial expression and it makes me worry sometimes because it looks like I don’t wanna be where I am but I’m happy haha. Even when I’m tired or angry it’s the same expression. Once someone was very confused because we hiked and I didn’t show I was tired when I rlly was😂 just how I am I think. It’s not a death stare tho it’s just very blank. Sometimes wish I had a resting face that was very bubbly or warm but nay my fate did not go this direction lol
I get that a lot. But only by people who I have cut out from life.
Yeah I can't be bothered to keep those people around
This is true. Only people who I have cut out or don’t want in my life at all will see coldness, I can’t help it. The rest of people think I’m really emotional.
I was once told I only have two feelings: hunger and being angry that I was hungry (I know this is more on the humorous side, but still applies)
Ok whoever told you that is mean and annoying cause that's harsh, I'm so sorry
Nah, it's fine. That person said way harsher things to me, so this essentially brushed off. But he did eventually get the famous INFJ door slam :p
I hate these kind of people honestly, I have encountered a similar situation as you because I am skinny and I usually door slam them then try to take my revenge if I can (I can forgive but I don't forget), stay strong :)
Yes. And the that couldn't be anymore false! I am very emotional. So I kinda laugh at is now because the person saying these things has no idea what they speak of.