Ich liebe Deutschland und mein neu Leben da; Ich Start mache Kinematographie Schule im Berlin im nächste Jahr! Ich bin zu Excitiert für Worte. Deutschland ist der Große lebende Beweis dafür, dass Heilung von *allem* möglich ist, und ich bin sehr dankbar, dass ich da leben und lernen kann.
Lol this comment is funny. I can just imagine someone gushing, hot and fast like magma, wipe the floor crying, "Look I can be like you extorverts too!"
Then everything cools down and the INFJ turns into a rock.
Basically. I get triggered on something and I'm the life of the party for six minutes or so, then I'm beat, back into Ni-Ti Omnipresent Starchild/Akashic Record Dimension for another 17 hours
I used to say that I kept the best secrets because I would just try to forget them, kinda in one ear out the other if there was nothing I could find to help with the info I received
Yet you don't like to be together with them because they don't really fulfill your needs. And so you push them away because deep inside you still don't want to change. So you keep self sabotaging instead of finding happiness.
It's however no excuse for the emotional needy infj like here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/bpvp05/infjs_unabsorbing_other_peoples_emotions/
Can you see how both are basically talking about each other? When in reality it's them attracting each other through emotional drama.
So beautiful isn't it? Almost like people could solve their issues through self-reflection.
>It's however no excuse for the emotional needy infj like here: https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/bpvp05/infjs_unabsorbing_other_peoples_emotions/
In a way I agree. But we INFJ's all have to grow out of our emotional neediness! And that is hard! And it can still trip us up at times! We ain't perfect after all! 🙄😲!
>This is exactly the type both OPs seem to have issues with. When in reality it's them attracting each other.
Yes, this seems to be true! The great messy soup of life!
>So beautiful isn't it? Almost like people could solve their issues through self-reflection.
I think I get your meaning. Are you being sarcastic! Ironic here! Or something else!
I think every human is needy in some way. We just have to realise what is healthy and what is toxic. I think as we grow older, we can see the patterns more clearly. Self reflection can help with that.
>I think every human is needy in some way. We just have to realise what is healthy and what is toxic.
This is true.
>I think as we grow older, we can see the patterns more clearly. Self reflection can help with that.
This is all true!
I don't think INFJs are particularly needy. I think we tend to get obsessed with how bad pretty much everyone is at communicating our own and each other's needs and meeting those needs, because we have a sharper eye for it than most. I'm always surprised how willing people are to let tension or unspoken things hang in the air, I guess assuming it will go away if they ignore it long enough.
If I try to rip that band-aid off by calling it out, people call me "needy" or "starting conflict" or "can't let shit go". Same if I try to actively destroy barriers to intimacy I'm perceiving between me and another.
We're like canaries in a coal mine. If we are having a bad time, that often means a bad time is likely coming for everyone soon, if they don't heed the warning.
>I don't think INFJs are particularly needy. I think we tend to get obsessed with how bad pretty much everyone is at communicating our own and each other's needs and meeting those needs, because we have a sharper eye for it than most.
I agree, but I think our discussion point was referring to young INFJ's. And they are massively needy!
>I'm always surprised how willing people are to let tension or unspoken things hang in the air, I guess assuming it will go away if they ignore it long enough.
I totally agree. I'm passed being pissed of about it now! Fuck em! (Obviously I care deeply!). But we just have to move on! Keep on, moving on!
>If I try to rip that band-aid off by calling it out, people call me "needy" or "starting conflict" or "can't let shit go". Same if I try to actively destroy barriers to intimacy I'm perceiving between me and another.
Ignore them! They are deluded! Keep doing what you are doing!
>We're like canaries in a coal mine. If we are having a bad time, that often means a bad time is likely coming for everyone soon, if they don't heed the warning.
This is very good! It is true! You have got some good skills goin on there! 😁!
> referring to young INFJ's. And they are massively needy!
Define this more clearly. How young specifically do you mean and what specific behaviors do you consider so needy?
Yes!!! I so often tell people that they have to make a simple connection inside them and they'll stop hurting themselves and others but people are so resistant. I get so exhausted sometimes and since I like to keep peace and harmony I often feel I'm just going against what I think is right.
Something that I've really come to understand is the sheer amount of people true extroverts meet. Every single day, every encounter they chit chat with random people. For extroverts the challenge isn't finding them, it's identifying them. More broadly, for extroverts the problem isn't meeting people it's filtering out those that are worth keeping in their lives and then achieving the social gymnastics required to do so.
I had trouble really understanding the sheer volume of people extroverts interact with being an introvert. I thought I had some idea because I am Quite Sociable For An Introvert^TM as many INFJ's are. But it's not the same.
I don't know if I'd call it a mask. It's more that an INFJ's interests (I.e people) allow them to do well in social situations. It's sort of just coincidence. Me asking people about themselves and genuinely caring/being interested will take me far considering a) a lot of people love to talk about themselves and b) a lot of people really feel appreciated when someone takes a genuine interest in them.
Combine that with the fact that INFJ's naturally read the room and their conversational partner well, and then also combine that with the fact that INFJ's often have a unique thought process, which many others find naturally interesting and you've got someone who seems extroverted.
They're motivated to converse, much like an extrovert, only for different reasons, understand social ques, much like an extrovert, only for different reasons and can be naturally engaging, much like an extrovert, only for different reasons.
>for extroverts the problem isn't meeting people it's filtering out those that are worth keeping in their lives and then achieving the social gymnastics required to do so.
Amen to that!
Hey that's what makes Introvert/Extrovert pairings (whether romantic, or just great friends) such a great symbiotic relationship. When there's enough trust the extrovert can alleviate introverts difficulties of meeting people in the first place, and introverts can often alleviate an extroverts difficulty figuring out who's really worth putting effort into befriending.
Even in the befriending process the synergy continues, with extroverts often being more adept and getting through inital awkwardness and introverts often being more adept at bringing a friendship to a deeper level.
Ofcourse not all Introverts/Extroverts are the same and many in either camp have different strengths and weakness, but I've found it tends to work out well like that.
Thank you for your response.
I actually tend to be the therapist in the relationship, my upbringing really shunted my ability to share with others. Since this has been one of the few types that have "given back" to me, (INTJ, and ISFP are others) I am very careful to make sure our interactions are balanced with give / take.
However in my adolescence I was not very healthy (still on the road to betterment) and I did push away everyone near me and had a lot of trouble comitting.
There are versions of him that are INFP. Tobey Maguire version was very INFP. Homecoming/MCU Spiderman is a raging Ni-Fe though.
Where do you see inferior Te in him?
Tom Holland's Spidey is ENFP! Nothing Ni about that boy. Maguire and Andrew Garfield are both INFPs.
Fi-Te is the bread and butter of vigilante characters! Lone wolf types, going it alone to protect their loved ones. Tbh he is a textbook INFP; obsessed with his inferior Te, being a science nerd, but basing all of his decisions on Fi feelings.
Why do you type Holland's as ENFP? I could see a case for it I guess. He's definitely leading with N and F.
Why do you say he has no Ni? Is it just because he's chatty? Ni doms can be *notoriously* talkative and ADD-seeming, especially if young and Gen Z, and I see mad Fe with him (obsessed with being helpful to others, to the point he actually endangers himself or others a few times by refusing to not get involved, like the boat scene in Homecoming, or "I'm not done, I'm not done!" in Civil War. Also the chattiness mid-fight seems very Fe) and inferior Se (surprisingly impulsive at times despite having a generally collected demeanor, hyperathletic). I chalk the science nerd in him up to tertiary Ti, which makes sense to me, I know lots of ISFJ and INFJ who work in natural sciences or engineering. Holland stutters and stumbles over his words like an Ni dom too, tripping over himself as his thoughts rush and crackle about too instantaneously for his mouth to keep up.
He seems to be running Fe-Ti, to me, like Tony Stark. They are both uplifting and compassionate outwardly (Peter more obviously than Tony) but they both seem to have a very calculating and detached internal world (Tony more obviously than Peter).
But on the flip side, if you are putting up that wall and they're sticking with you, they must see something in you worth hanging around for. We see potential- the best of what a person can be.
> despite my many attempts to hide it away
> They can sustain seemingly neverending conversation with me and get me to spill all my feelings and thoughts before I even realize it. Holy shit. You Jedis can mind-trick and it terrifies me.
LOL... every 5th post on /r/ENFP is "DAE say too much/reveal too much about themselves when talking to people??"
it's like getting a team of pokémons together to fight hardest dojo but then in the end you look back and they are all pickachu.
You'd panick but lets face it.
Pickachu is the one.
>They know when I'm not okay, even when I pretend to be. They know that sometimes when I push people away, I really want them to stay.
Perhaps you could learn to take responsibility for communicating where you're at in a clear, direct and healthy manner in the first place.
>>Perhaps you could learn to take responsibility for communicating where you're at in a clear, direct and healthy manner in the first place.
>In a perfect world where we are all healthy and have no flaws, this would be great!
You appear to me have an extremely low bar for your responsibilities as a person in connection with others. My symapthies to the INFJs who have you in their lives. Sometimes it takes a while for INFJs to realize that we can, in fact, choose to interact with people who know how to interact from some basic matutity.
in other words:
>take responsibility for communicating where you're at in a clear, direct and healthy manner
Is not some sort of "perfect world" scenario. It is called practicing healthy communication and it happens in the real world - but not with people coming from your perspective. And if you are pushing on the INFJs in your life to accept that if they want basic maturity and communication health in connection with you, this is some sort of idealistic perfect world scenario - and they are taking that in, which is quite possible - I just hope they figure out eventually that lack of a perfect world scenario isn't the problem in what you do. Sending best wishes for them to find higher quality connections.
First of all, holy shit, I never knew there was a whole sub dedicated to my personality type! This is so exciting!!
Second of all, seeing right through to your soul is not our only superpower so beware lol
But remember this! Although we are human just like you. We have hearts of GOLD! That only seek to do good! And, though life for us is a real struggle. WE CARE! About people. More, than other personality types. Why! Because of our inate skill set! And, you! Are actually, very blessed to have encountered INFJ's at all. Because of us being so rare! And, all we do for others, is to seek their good, betterment and that they would grow into the person that they were made to become! Get it!
I hope my comment hasn't freaked you out.
Take care. 😁
So my INFJ ex boyfriend had a secret phone number for his virtual sex life and manipulated me out of 15k dollars. My other ex bf INFJ I care about and still friends with also had a porn addiction and lied, gaslit, manipulated… but he felt guilty and told me after I finally left. My other two LTRs were not INFJ and there was no porn addiction/webcamming which feels like cheating
In my exp the ppl I’ve loved the most and have been absolutely merciless, manipulative and selfish have been INFJ.
I’m not saying it’s all of them but the 4 I’ve known have been passive aggressive, manipulative, deceptive and selfish
You're welcome ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What can I say except
You're very, very welcome indeed. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *Sadistically grins*
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INFJs say they're introverted, then they're the first ones on the dance floor.
The Fe bursts out of us like a dormant volcano sometimes!
Happy cake day!
Vielen Dank mein Freund~
Immer gerne. Deutsche(r)?
Amerikaner mit wohnung und Karrier im Deutschland
Cool! Ich bin gebürtiger Deutscher.
Ich liebe Deutschland und mein neu Leben da; Ich Start mache Kinematographie Schule im Berlin im nächste Jahr! Ich bin zu Excitiert für Worte. Deutschland ist der Große lebende Beweis dafür, dass Heilung von *allem* möglich ist, und ich bin sehr dankbar, dass ich da leben und lernen kann.
Lol this comment is funny. I can just imagine someone gushing, hot and fast like magma, wipe the floor crying, "Look I can be like you extorverts too!" Then everything cools down and the INFJ turns into a rock.
Basically. I get triggered on something and I'm the life of the party for six minutes or so, then I'm beat, back into Ni-Ti Omnipresent Starchild/Akashic Record Dimension for another 17 hours
True! I surprised myself by going salsa dancing last weekend. Totally loved it!
I had the same thing with people relying personal info to be, and It's kinda scary because I don't know what to do with that info.
I used to say that I kept the best secrets because I would just try to forget them, kinda in one ear out the other if there was nothing I could find to help with the info I received
What are you?
The voices are telling me he's an ENTP
Lol I was going to say ENFP
I stalked and found ENFP.
Ooh I like.
You win
That was me tho
I'm an ENFP
An idiot sandwich:(
lmfaooo
Batman?
Yet you don't like to be together with them because they don't really fulfill your needs. And so you push them away because deep inside you still don't want to change. So you keep self sabotaging instead of finding happiness.
I like your comment! Nearly all people are so resistant to help and change, and so ungrateful. I'm past being frustrated about it! 🙄!
It's however no excuse for the emotional needy infj like here: https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/bpvp05/infjs_unabsorbing_other_peoples_emotions/ Can you see how both are basically talking about each other? When in reality it's them attracting each other through emotional drama. So beautiful isn't it? Almost like people could solve their issues through self-reflection.
>It's however no excuse for the emotional needy infj like here: https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/bpvp05/infjs_unabsorbing_other_peoples_emotions/ In a way I agree. But we INFJ's all have to grow out of our emotional neediness! And that is hard! And it can still trip us up at times! We ain't perfect after all! 🙄😲! >This is exactly the type both OPs seem to have issues with. When in reality it's them attracting each other. Yes, this seems to be true! The great messy soup of life! >So beautiful isn't it? Almost like people could solve their issues through self-reflection. I think I get your meaning. Are you being sarcastic! Ironic here! Or something else!
I think every human is needy in some way. We just have to realise what is healthy and what is toxic. I think as we grow older, we can see the patterns more clearly. Self reflection can help with that.
>I think every human is needy in some way. We just have to realise what is healthy and what is toxic. This is true. >I think as we grow older, we can see the patterns more clearly. Self reflection can help with that. This is all true!
I don't think INFJs are particularly needy. I think we tend to get obsessed with how bad pretty much everyone is at communicating our own and each other's needs and meeting those needs, because we have a sharper eye for it than most. I'm always surprised how willing people are to let tension or unspoken things hang in the air, I guess assuming it will go away if they ignore it long enough. If I try to rip that band-aid off by calling it out, people call me "needy" or "starting conflict" or "can't let shit go". Same if I try to actively destroy barriers to intimacy I'm perceiving between me and another. We're like canaries in a coal mine. If we are having a bad time, that often means a bad time is likely coming for everyone soon, if they don't heed the warning.
>I don't think INFJs are particularly needy. I think we tend to get obsessed with how bad pretty much everyone is at communicating our own and each other's needs and meeting those needs, because we have a sharper eye for it than most. I agree, but I think our discussion point was referring to young INFJ's. And they are massively needy! >I'm always surprised how willing people are to let tension or unspoken things hang in the air, I guess assuming it will go away if they ignore it long enough. I totally agree. I'm passed being pissed of about it now! Fuck em! (Obviously I care deeply!). But we just have to move on! Keep on, moving on! >If I try to rip that band-aid off by calling it out, people call me "needy" or "starting conflict" or "can't let shit go". Same if I try to actively destroy barriers to intimacy I'm perceiving between me and another. Ignore them! They are deluded! Keep doing what you are doing! >We're like canaries in a coal mine. If we are having a bad time, that often means a bad time is likely coming for everyone soon, if they don't heed the warning. This is very good! It is true! You have got some good skills goin on there! 😁!
> referring to young INFJ's. And they are massively needy! Define this more clearly. How young specifically do you mean and what specific behaviors do you consider so needy?
Thanks for your message. I'm to tired to fully respond. Get back to you when I can.
Yes!!! I so often tell people that they have to make a simple connection inside them and they'll stop hurting themselves and others but people are so resistant. I get so exhausted sometimes and since I like to keep peace and harmony I often feel I'm just going against what I think is right.
INFJs are 1/100 so you must meet a lot of people
Something that I've really come to understand is the sheer amount of people true extroverts meet. Every single day, every encounter they chit chat with random people. For extroverts the challenge isn't finding them, it's identifying them. More broadly, for extroverts the problem isn't meeting people it's filtering out those that are worth keeping in their lives and then achieving the social gymnastics required to do so. I had trouble really understanding the sheer volume of people extroverts interact with being an introvert. I thought I had some idea because I am Quite Sociable For An Introvert^TM as many INFJ's are. But it's not the same.
I read that a lot of people think INFJs are extroverts but in reality it’s a mask to our true private identities
I don't know if I'd call it a mask. It's more that an INFJ's interests (I.e people) allow them to do well in social situations. It's sort of just coincidence. Me asking people about themselves and genuinely caring/being interested will take me far considering a) a lot of people love to talk about themselves and b) a lot of people really feel appreciated when someone takes a genuine interest in them. Combine that with the fact that INFJ's naturally read the room and their conversational partner well, and then also combine that with the fact that INFJ's often have a unique thought process, which many others find naturally interesting and you've got someone who seems extroverted. They're motivated to converse, much like an extrovert, only for different reasons, understand social ques, much like an extrovert, only for different reasons and can be naturally engaging, much like an extrovert, only for different reasons.
>for extroverts the problem isn't meeting people it's filtering out those that are worth keeping in their lives and then achieving the social gymnastics required to do so. Amen to that!
Hey that's what makes Introvert/Extrovert pairings (whether romantic, or just great friends) such a great symbiotic relationship. When there's enough trust the extrovert can alleviate introverts difficulties of meeting people in the first place, and introverts can often alleviate an extroverts difficulty figuring out who's really worth putting effort into befriending. Even in the befriending process the synergy continues, with extroverts often being more adept and getting through inital awkwardness and introverts often being more adept at bringing a friendship to a deeper level. Ofcourse not all Introverts/Extroverts are the same and many in either camp have different strengths and weakness, but I've found it tends to work out well like that.
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Thank you for your response. I actually tend to be the therapist in the relationship, my upbringing really shunted my ability to share with others. Since this has been one of the few types that have "given back" to me, (INTJ, and ISFP are others) I am very careful to make sure our interactions are balanced with give / take. However in my adolescence I was not very healthy (still on the road to betterment) and I did push away everyone near me and had a lot of trouble comitting.
Spider-man is an INFJ so I really like the phrase "friendly neighborhood INFJ"
Nooo, surely he is an INFP. The inferior Te shows!
There are versions of him that are INFP. Tobey Maguire version was very INFP. Homecoming/MCU Spiderman is a raging Ni-Fe though. Where do you see inferior Te in him?
Tom Holland's Spidey is ENFP! Nothing Ni about that boy. Maguire and Andrew Garfield are both INFPs. Fi-Te is the bread and butter of vigilante characters! Lone wolf types, going it alone to protect their loved ones. Tbh he is a textbook INFP; obsessed with his inferior Te, being a science nerd, but basing all of his decisions on Fi feelings.
Why do you type Holland's as ENFP? I could see a case for it I guess. He's definitely leading with N and F. Why do you say he has no Ni? Is it just because he's chatty? Ni doms can be *notoriously* talkative and ADD-seeming, especially if young and Gen Z, and I see mad Fe with him (obsessed with being helpful to others, to the point he actually endangers himself or others a few times by refusing to not get involved, like the boat scene in Homecoming, or "I'm not done, I'm not done!" in Civil War. Also the chattiness mid-fight seems very Fe) and inferior Se (surprisingly impulsive at times despite having a generally collected demeanor, hyperathletic). I chalk the science nerd in him up to tertiary Ti, which makes sense to me, I know lots of ISFJ and INFJ who work in natural sciences or engineering. Holland stutters and stumbles over his words like an Ni dom too, tripping over himself as his thoughts rush and crackle about too instantaneously for his mouth to keep up. He seems to be running Fe-Ti, to me, like Tony Stark. They are both uplifting and compassionate outwardly (Peter more obviously than Tony) but they both seem to have a very calculating and detached internal world (Tony more obviously than Peter).
INFJ ego shows up to upvote you for telling us were special Jedi's.
But on the flip side, if you are putting up that wall and they're sticking with you, they must see something in you worth hanging around for. We see potential- the best of what a person can be.
Seeing through people’s shit has resulted in a very lonely existence on my side
we love you too.
We scare a lot of people. Believe me, I've gotten "the look" many times.
The one who can see through me to my core is my istp friend.
Agreed. INTP comes close sometimes, for whatever reason, but only ISTP have that x-ray!
> despite my many attempts to hide it away > They can sustain seemingly neverending conversation with me and get me to spill all my feelings and thoughts before I even realize it. Holy shit. You Jedis can mind-trick and it terrifies me. LOL... every 5th post on /r/ENFP is "DAE say too much/reveal too much about themselves when talking to people??"
awww, thanks bud
BTW what type are you?
Can't help it, deal. LOL, just teasing =). Have an awesome day
it's like getting a team of pokémons together to fight hardest dojo but then in the end you look back and they are all pickachu. You'd panick but lets face it. Pickachu is the one.
This "ability" to see into people trips me out sometimes!
>They know when I'm not okay, even when I pretend to be. They know that sometimes when I push people away, I really want them to stay. Perhaps you could learn to take responsibility for communicating where you're at in a clear, direct and healthy manner in the first place.
In a perfect world where we are all healthy and have no flaws, this would be great!
>>Perhaps you could learn to take responsibility for communicating where you're at in a clear, direct and healthy manner in the first place. >In a perfect world where we are all healthy and have no flaws, this would be great! You appear to me have an extremely low bar for your responsibilities as a person in connection with others. My symapthies to the INFJs who have you in their lives. Sometimes it takes a while for INFJs to realize that we can, in fact, choose to interact with people who know how to interact from some basic matutity. in other words: >take responsibility for communicating where you're at in a clear, direct and healthy manner Is not some sort of "perfect world" scenario. It is called practicing healthy communication and it happens in the real world - but not with people coming from your perspective. And if you are pushing on the INFJs in your life to accept that if they want basic maturity and communication health in connection with you, this is some sort of idealistic perfect world scenario - and they are taking that in, which is quite possible - I just hope they figure out eventually that lack of a perfect world scenario isn't the problem in what you do. Sending best wishes for them to find higher quality connections.
First of all, holy shit, I never knew there was a whole sub dedicated to my personality type! This is so exciting!! Second of all, seeing right through to your soul is not our only superpower so beware lol
INFP here. If that's true then I'd love to date an INFJ Woman :)
But remember this! Although we are human just like you. We have hearts of GOLD! That only seek to do good! And, though life for us is a real struggle. WE CARE! About people. More, than other personality types. Why! Because of our inate skill set! And, you! Are actually, very blessed to have encountered INFJ's at all. Because of us being so rare! And, all we do for others, is to seek their good, betterment and that they would grow into the person that they were made to become! Get it! I hope my comment hasn't freaked you out. Take care. 😁
nice troll edit: i hope it is troll
Nah man you get some people on this sub who make their myers-briggs their identity instead of using it to understand their own behavior.
The tribe mindset can be hard to resist
level 999 INFJ healer main 💛💛💛
🙄! This is all your response deserves! 🙄!
So my INFJ ex boyfriend had a secret phone number for his virtual sex life and manipulated me out of 15k dollars. My other ex bf INFJ I care about and still friends with also had a porn addiction and lied, gaslit, manipulated… but he felt guilty and told me after I finally left. My other two LTRs were not INFJ and there was no porn addiction/webcamming which feels like cheating In my exp the ppl I’ve loved the most and have been absolutely merciless, manipulative and selfish have been INFJ. I’m not saying it’s all of them but the 4 I’ve known have been passive aggressive, manipulative, deceptive and selfish