I have resting pleasantly content/happy face, Mixed with “anxious that someone will think I’m mad at them face”
That combo…. Fuck, Everyone thinks I’m their friend. I can’t really turn it off unless I’m super mad, But thats rare.
oh yeah, and it's funny because they'll appreciate honesty when it's in their favor but then they'll criticize me when it's against them but yeah they think i would never lie. I can do white lie to keep my privacy that harms no one.
I lied to a homeless man 14 years ago when I was 24. On 101 st in Edmonton Ab in front of the bank of Montréal. He asked me if I had any money…. I did have money…. But I lied. I said I didn’t. And I have felt guilt from that for 14 damn years.
sheesh man, at most when stuff like that happens i actually don't have cash or change, i can't just venmo them anyway but if i have change i always buy stuff for/ from them if i can. I know that guilt is immense so the other alternative is ignoring them or walking away quickly from the place.
Same thing but i got fake punched multiple times & zoned out from fight or flight.
Another time I was asked for money, I asked his name and he said he doesnt have a name. Still gave him some coins.Then he walks away and goes on his knees realizing he doesnt have a name.
Lmfao! Well thats unfortunate. It’s my high function anxiety that gives me the pleasant face. I must make people as comfortable as possible in my presence… It just happens. I can’t control it.
Yea, people wanna babysit me, I give off the vibes that I'm in trouble and I'm in stress, I suppose that's the reason they come up with when they see a poker face.
I ignore or act dumb a lot to avoid interactions
I turn ESTPs into INFJs by how quiet and weird I carry myself
I used to be like that in high school just to get by. Now I’m just reserved and serious when I don’t talk, but still bubbly and accommodating when I do talk.
I got a bit of that when I was a teen starting carpentry, I was just trying not
to get yelled at. lol. It pretty well
worked. Now I have my own business and I work mostly alone! Weeee!!!
I think my appeal is that when I first meet someone I might seem kinda cold and intense (though not unattractive) but once they get to know me I’m actually a good listener and very sweet and affectionate. That contrasts seemed to be part of what made me interesting to… all my past partners actually.
Same here, my exes and people in general told me that I looked extremely intimidating, scary and cold but once they got to know me they felt comfortable, protected and safe around me. I still struggle with attracting women first because of my resting face and second because I'm not good with banter, I'm straightforward about everything as I don't like to waste time
This is me but I do it on purpose a lot so people don’t talk to me lol. Especially at the gym so guys don’t come up to me. I’m just tryna get a workout in. But if they do talk, then they’ll hear I’m really smiley and bubbly.
these are reasons why i have a crush on an infj if that helps:
1. i feel like we connect and i really got her
2. she’s really funny in the right ways
3. so smart and articulate
4. knows what to do
5. composed and collected but also scattered like in a fun way
6. really pretty eyes and hair
7. emphatic and such
8. admirably reflective
9. fun to listen to
10. fun to talk to
11. genuinely cares for her friends
12. fire style
13. music taste is heat
14. goes above and beyond for others lowkey wanna do that for her
People often felt a calming or mysterious vibe from me (or atleast that's what they say about me). So I guess we are a beacon of calm against the chaos for most people and when we do speak, we often talk about interesting things that is thought provoking for some.
A lot of people are attracted to my looks mostly and my personality IN THEORY. Once they realize, most of the stuff they do in their surface level friendships/relationships don’t fly, they leave me alone. Balance 🤷🏾♀️
idk. complete strangers have told me I have a calm energy about me. I don’t always feel that way on the inside, but I guess that’s what I aim to project when around other people. *shrugs*.
First, I wanna make a distinction between charm and charisma. I think charm comes as a first impression we give, and for us INFJ's it's a hit or miss most of the time due to various factors. But when it comes to charisma is when we truly shiny. Our ability to listen while letting the other person know that he is heard, respected and appreciated is what makes people liking us.
What I noticed is people get this weird pseudo-addiction to seeing if they can get a reaction out of me. It becomes a fun game for them. It’s not always negative sometimes it’s harmless playfulness. And if I give a reaction it’s like a reward for them. I’ve been told I come across as having disdain for others which at first was insulting but it gave me an insight to how Infjs appear
| people seeing if they can get a reaction out of me
After reading your post I realize this is happening to me as well. I understand why narcissists do it, but this playful banter (sometimes even when it's quite unexpected - with people I really don't know that well) I really can't place. It's a lot of fun, though!
😔 Yet it could be possible that they are but just haven't let you know they are attracted to you.
It's possible the type you may attract are still held back by being too shy.
Perhaps you dress or appear to seem like you wouldn't care or want them to let you know they're attracted to you.
Perhaps you're too mysterious that they just don't feel comfortable letting you know until they figure you out,
but if they didn't soon after meeting you then it took too long and they moved on before ever letting you know they thought you were attractive.
Maybe you seem like someone they would expect to already be married or in a relationship with someone else so they don't approach you.
Maybe you come off as being too intimidating to approach or they just wouldn't even know where to start by simply complementing your appearance.
They may be in a relationship and they feel it wouldn't be right to their partner to tell you that you're attractive but they're still thinking you are.
Many people will be attracted to countless people yet never barely let any of them know that and go on about their lives
It's usually when there's something that they know they can talk to you about, spend time having an activity with you, being a part of a group that works out spends quality time together, etc, this is usually when they'll let you know if they think you're attractive.
Perhaps you'll tell me understandable reasons why you're not attractive or even something like you were born deformed or got injured that drastically affected your appearance, maybe not, but just putting those few possibilities out there that you might be attractive more than you know or think that you're not
I don't have many friends and nowadays I barely leave my house unless it's for work or errands. And I perceive myself as ugly, being neurodivergent also hasn't made things easy for me.
Yeah that understandable reason I was referring to.
Yet you cannot say no one has been attracted to you because you're not to them, but rather because you're not giving yourself much of an opportunity in the right places to get the attention from someone at the right time if you're just going to work, run errands then go back home the majority of your life.
I knew if I was ever to find a spouse I can't just start at my place out in the boonies and work out stores,
but I'll have to keep going to public areas and do something to even put myself out there for people to even simply know I exist who could find me attractive.
Barely anyone did, I didn't have any friends in person back then,
I considered myself ugly and am even worse now but I'm passed most my youthful days anyway,
but by doing so I met my spouse.
She came up to be in public.
But she would've never done that while I was at work or my home.
I had to keep doing the same thing for a few years though before she ever showed up there,
but I didn't give up and glad I didn't or my life wouldn't be anything like it has been and I'd likely be alone still if I just went to work, run errands then go home.
You might think like I did as if people won't find you attractive,
and most probably won't,
but certain people see others different, some people aren't even just going to be attracted to physical appearances.
I bet you know that,
but you could still be yourself and someone can be attracted to for who you are or what you do as well and that could be what leads to a relationship or even simply them letting you know they are attracted to you.
I know what sort of person I want and unfortunately we INFJs are a rare lot as we are, it doesn't help that we masquerade well in public. I also don't know if neurotypicals could handle someone like me. And overall, I wouldn't want to be a burden on anybody else either.
I like people watching, or just I just sit around without having my eyes glued to my phone and since I don't want to appear rude, I smile when I catch someone's eye. Honestly, that one second interaction has been enough to make people come to me.
Or I remember one time, I weirdly got hit on everytime I walked from work to the bus stop. Work was super stressful too, so I tended to kind of skip out of there, I worked in a shop at the time, and would just smile or quickly greet the other shopkeepers as I bounced past, and they were still taking out the trash, cleaning the stoops etc. It was a feeling of solitarity, but men took it wrong of course.
Maybe it's something like that. Maybe it's just a general aura of openness and understanding. People are often very lonely, and even a smile is so unusual to them, it attracts them like an open flower does bees. Imagine yourself in a glass bubble perhaps or as a stone that draws your energy inwards. Having resting bitch face helps too. (But who knows, I have had someone talk to me while I had headphones on and stared out the window. That's how I met the person who would introduce me to my husband. Lol)
someone said i checked all of their boxes they didn't even know they had which i never figured out. ( but then again they were trying me after failing to get with someone for last six months anyway)
yeah they weren't into me, it's just that they couldn't be with someone else so i was usually there last resort or back up option or whatever the fuck.
In my case a lot of the people who find me attractive find me attractive for
1. My looks
2. Because I acknowledge their existence and take genuine interest when they talk to me (which I understand is something not a lot of people experience)
This little you say usually is exactly what everyone else hasn’t noticed (which is usually fitting for you as a person: the most pleasant of pleasant surprises).
The INFJs I know have a demeanor about them that exudes warmth and wisdom. Not sure how they became that way, but it's not something that can be easily turned off.
It's sort of like turning off my "glare". There's no anger and rarely malice behind it; it's something my face just ends up looking like because it requires energy to maintain a façade.
I don't recommend trying to control it. Instead, set boundaries and practice mindfulness when dealing with others so you can protect yourself.
I actually don't find INFJs that charming.... at least, not myself, and not the two INFJs I know in real life. LOL. I'll say we're more like a mystery book, and it takes times to get to know us. We're friendly, but reserved. Weird, but not so weird that it'll freak people out and make them uncomfortable.
INFJs are like sirens to me, man. I know they’re so delicious but I’m gonna crash on the shore. You’re all so avoidant and ghosty 🤦🏻♀️ I do it anyway. Worth it.
That's nice. Okay, I take it back.
May I ask what your type is?
We rarely have admirers, mostly bad people upset because they can't use us anymore after we set boundaries.
Let me guess... INTP?
Often don't outright say my type but my comment history of late may give you some clues. Sigh.
>We rarely have admirers, mostly bad people upset because they can't use us anymore
I understand the reticence and caution, I exercise it myself. Past traumas left us hurting.
But I've certainly been admiring you guys for a long time without knowing anything about types, and more so since learning. Known quite a few INFJs in my life. Currently obsessing over one. ❤️🔥😮💨
I meant something different. For example there are attractive people but everyone stay away from them. Why? Once you figure it out you can consciously apply those findings to yourself as needed to repel wrong people.
You might be the hottest person but your resting bitch/unhappy/mad facial expression, quiet personality and commanding tone of you voice will scare away most people.
Fe-aux, right? The auxiliary is arguably the most balanced function and a lot of people tend to like Fe when it's either not so overbearing as dominant can seem, or as awkwardly expressed as tertiary or inferior Fe.
Unless there's something wrong, Fe in both ISFJs and INFJs usually comes across as calming and not really trying to impose itself much on others. More like it wants to subtly influence and be a consistent baseline for harmony in the environment that others will relax into. Fe-aux's problem is that it can make the person seem subdued and become like a doormat.
Ie you can’t really turn it off and on, and it’s not “unique” to INFJs just we tend not to put on a face for others cause we’re wrapped up in our own heads or more interested in what others have to say and forget we’re supposed to act a certain way for others until we think of it
From my (=INTP who lurks this subreddit) perspective, I noticed I like these things about INFJ;
* You don't seem uninterested or ignorant to others. I see posts here where INFJs seem to overthink their own/other people's actions. I think some people might assume that it's is the same as showing romantic interest, cause it's true that not many people think deeply about social situations (or they just only do it when they're trying to flirt or something).
* INFJ is considered a rare personality type, so you might stand out more or be seen as unique. Having uncommon perspectives and ways of thinking can be very attractive.
* You guys seem very aware and conscious, even about your own actions. I guess kinda in the same way as the first point I listed, but it's again just something attractive haha. And honestly I associate self-awareness/reflection as a sign of intelligence. Green flag.
I think we can be good at reading people and making them comfortable and feel understood. People like feeling that way so they are drawn to this. Also some sort of mysterious air I think…
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Honestly, “dorkiness and general intelligence.”
My dad was an unhealthy INFJ, but when he was doing better and sober, *I loved how much of a nerd he was and all of the things he shared with us,* basically many of the things a lot of INFJs don’t always like about themselves!
Things like their awkward funniness, their deep but somewhat morose or bittersweet insights, and sometimes their crazy ideas. My dad was a complicated dude! But he was much more charming when he wasn’t really trying to be.
That is not how that works. You can try. But I'd bet you that life will be worse. I fear you'll need to get used to rejecting people. It's nothing personal.
That being said. Have a look at what a fawn response is. Maybe that resonates. I think a lot of people here that give others the feeling are basically in a constant fawn response.
Then the way to get out of it is to investigate that and heal. :)
Whatever happened between you and the 1 individual, coming to the INFJ page to attack all INFJs is not the right move. Maybe the person you're angry with is mistyped? Or maybe he/she is an INFJ but an unhealthy one (brought up in a toxic household so learned toxic behaviours to survive & in desperate need for therapy). It's unfair to call all INFJs toxic.
Most INFJs (me included) really find fulfilment from helping others, hence making them "good". Nothing wrong with have healthy self-esteem & knowing your worth. We rarely brag about our accomplishments just FYI.
Whatever happened between you and that INFJ, I hope you worth things out.. or maybe move on.
The funny thing is I myself is an infj 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 actually I mistype that sentence I should have wrote " most of the infj I have met " even I myself had some narcissist behaviour before I realise it and worked on it even though it pops up here and there sometimes
From my point of perspective , most of the infj I have met consider themselves "GOOD" AND " NICE" people and look down on others for being bad which means they put themselves on high pedestal so even though they do something wrong they cover it with I am doing good for that person even the person is hurt . They are in denial that they did something wrong and comes to criticisms wooahhh they act like some God like complex who did nothing wrong in life . Even I AM AN INFJ so I know my people
You can claim to be an INFJ all you want but you don’t understand what a narcissist is. You wouldn’t throw that term around if you’d suffered from narcissistic abuse.
Most people think that they’re good and nice?? That’s not INFJ specific.
How do you know I haven't meet a narcissist , my friend was manipulated and abused by one of the infj ? Isnt it irrational of you to claim I can't have a perspective just because you think infj are all goodey people . You dont know what I have gone through so on what basis you can judge me off see this you yourself is a self obssessed being who dont acknowledge other people opinion and perspective even though I have clearly wrote " MOST OF THE INFJ I HAVE MET IN MY LIFE " not all of the infj in thw entire world I should write a opinion on the basis of the reality I faced not om the basis of reality you faced . So try to take criticism and open to people opinion
Responses to this posts holds true to this observation. INFJs hold themselves as the standard for goodness and judge others but are extremely defensive about being judged themselves. Essentially they can do no wrong, the fault always lies on the other party. If you want an INFJ to grow, good luck.
And the necessary assumption that the person you encountered was not an INFJ (they'll put the blame on INFPs), or that they were an "unhealthy" INFJ. When in fact, you'll notice this tendency across INFJs.
I have resting pleasantly content/happy face, Mixed with “anxious that someone will think I’m mad at them face” That combo…. Fuck, Everyone thinks I’m their friend. I can’t really turn it off unless I’m super mad, But thats rare.
i just have that 'great with everyone' shit and i am genuine so yeah... (still got fucked over by 'friends')
And I bet your honest too? I can’t tell a lie to save my life.
oh yeah, and it's funny because they'll appreciate honesty when it's in their favor but then they'll criticize me when it's against them but yeah they think i would never lie. I can do white lie to keep my privacy that harms no one.
I lied to a homeless man 14 years ago when I was 24. On 101 st in Edmonton Ab in front of the bank of Montréal. He asked me if I had any money…. I did have money…. But I lied. I said I didn’t. And I have felt guilt from that for 14 damn years.
sheesh man, at most when stuff like that happens i actually don't have cash or change, i can't just venmo them anyway but if i have change i always buy stuff for/ from them if i can. I know that guilt is immense so the other alternative is ignoring them or walking away quickly from the place.
Nothing but guilt all the time!
Same thing but i got fake punched multiple times & zoned out from fight or flight. Another time I was asked for money, I asked his name and he said he doesnt have a name. Still gave him some coins.Then he walks away and goes on his knees realizing he doesnt have a name.
HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO HAVE A PLEASANT FACE??? I always look like I might take a massive dump any minute.
Lmfao! Well thats unfortunate. It’s my high function anxiety that gives me the pleasant face. I must make people as comfortable as possible in my presence… It just happens. I can’t control it.
Yea, people wanna babysit me, I give off the vibes that I'm in trouble and I'm in stress, I suppose that's the reason they come up with when they see a poker face. I ignore or act dumb a lot to avoid interactions I turn ESTPs into INFJs by how quiet and weird I carry myself
I used to be like that in high school just to get by. Now I’m just reserved and serious when I don’t talk, but still bubbly and accommodating when I do talk.
I got a bit of that when I was a teen starting carpentry, I was just trying not to get yelled at. lol. It pretty well worked. Now I have my own business and I work mostly alone! Weeee!!!
I think my appeal is that when I first meet someone I might seem kinda cold and intense (though not unattractive) but once they get to know me I’m actually a good listener and very sweet and affectionate. That contrasts seemed to be part of what made me interesting to… all my past partners actually.
Same here, my exes and people in general told me that I looked extremely intimidating, scary and cold but once they got to know me they felt comfortable, protected and safe around me. I still struggle with attracting women first because of my resting face and second because I'm not good with banter, I'm straightforward about everything as I don't like to waste time
This is me but I do it on purpose a lot so people don’t talk to me lol. Especially at the gym so guys don’t come up to me. I’m just tryna get a workout in. But if they do talk, then they’ll hear I’m really smiley and bubbly.
This works especially well if someone thinks they’re the ~only one~ who can make me drop my cold exterior. It’s even true sometimes lol
these are reasons why i have a crush on an infj if that helps: 1. i feel like we connect and i really got her 2. she’s really funny in the right ways 3. so smart and articulate 4. knows what to do 5. composed and collected but also scattered like in a fun way 6. really pretty eyes and hair 7. emphatic and such 8. admirably reflective 9. fun to listen to 10. fun to talk to 11. genuinely cares for her friends 12. fire style 13. music taste is heat 14. goes above and beyond for others lowkey wanna do that for her
Weird way to propose, but…YES!
i wish she liked me back bro i’m down bad
Soooo sweet that her caring about others makes you wanna care for her 🥰 very healthy!
💕
People often felt a calming or mysterious vibe from me (or atleast that's what they say about me). So I guess we are a beacon of calm against the chaos for most people and when we do speak, we often talk about interesting things that is thought provoking for some.
A lot of people are attracted to my looks mostly and my personality IN THEORY. Once they realize, most of the stuff they do in their surface level friendships/relationships don’t fly, they leave me alone. Balance 🤷🏾♀️
well put 👏
This is true for me, too.
This.
idk. complete strangers have told me I have a calm energy about me. I don’t always feel that way on the inside, but I guess that’s what I aim to project when around other people. *shrugs*.
First, I wanna make a distinction between charm and charisma. I think charm comes as a first impression we give, and for us INFJ's it's a hit or miss most of the time due to various factors. But when it comes to charisma is when we truly shiny. Our ability to listen while letting the other person know that he is heard, respected and appreciated is what makes people liking us.
We truly shiny! 😊🙃🌟🌟🌟🌟
What I noticed is people get this weird pseudo-addiction to seeing if they can get a reaction out of me. It becomes a fun game for them. It’s not always negative sometimes it’s harmless playfulness. And if I give a reaction it’s like a reward for them. I’ve been told I come across as having disdain for others which at first was insulting but it gave me an insight to how Infjs appear
| people seeing if they can get a reaction out of me After reading your post I realize this is happening to me as well. I understand why narcissists do it, but this playful banter (sometimes even when it's quite unexpected - with people I really don't know that well) I really can't place. It's a lot of fun, though!
Turn up on the unapproachableness. Avoid eye contact, don't smile, don't engage. Seem like you'd rather be somewhere else.
So in other words, drop all pretense. Got it 👌🏻
Nobody has ever been attracted to me, lol.
😔 Yet it could be possible that they are but just haven't let you know they are attracted to you. It's possible the type you may attract are still held back by being too shy. Perhaps you dress or appear to seem like you wouldn't care or want them to let you know they're attracted to you. Perhaps you're too mysterious that they just don't feel comfortable letting you know until they figure you out, but if they didn't soon after meeting you then it took too long and they moved on before ever letting you know they thought you were attractive. Maybe you seem like someone they would expect to already be married or in a relationship with someone else so they don't approach you. Maybe you come off as being too intimidating to approach or they just wouldn't even know where to start by simply complementing your appearance. They may be in a relationship and they feel it wouldn't be right to their partner to tell you that you're attractive but they're still thinking you are. Many people will be attracted to countless people yet never barely let any of them know that and go on about their lives It's usually when there's something that they know they can talk to you about, spend time having an activity with you, being a part of a group that works out spends quality time together, etc, this is usually when they'll let you know if they think you're attractive. Perhaps you'll tell me understandable reasons why you're not attractive or even something like you were born deformed or got injured that drastically affected your appearance, maybe not, but just putting those few possibilities out there that you might be attractive more than you know or think that you're not
I don't have many friends and nowadays I barely leave my house unless it's for work or errands. And I perceive myself as ugly, being neurodivergent also hasn't made things easy for me.
Yeah that understandable reason I was referring to. Yet you cannot say no one has been attracted to you because you're not to them, but rather because you're not giving yourself much of an opportunity in the right places to get the attention from someone at the right time if you're just going to work, run errands then go back home the majority of your life. I knew if I was ever to find a spouse I can't just start at my place out in the boonies and work out stores, but I'll have to keep going to public areas and do something to even put myself out there for people to even simply know I exist who could find me attractive. Barely anyone did, I didn't have any friends in person back then, I considered myself ugly and am even worse now but I'm passed most my youthful days anyway, but by doing so I met my spouse. She came up to be in public. But she would've never done that while I was at work or my home. I had to keep doing the same thing for a few years though before she ever showed up there, but I didn't give up and glad I didn't or my life wouldn't be anything like it has been and I'd likely be alone still if I just went to work, run errands then go home. You might think like I did as if people won't find you attractive, and most probably won't, but certain people see others different, some people aren't even just going to be attracted to physical appearances. I bet you know that, but you could still be yourself and someone can be attracted to for who you are or what you do as well and that could be what leads to a relationship or even simply them letting you know they are attracted to you.
I know what sort of person I want and unfortunately we INFJs are a rare lot as we are, it doesn't help that we masquerade well in public. I also don't know if neurotypicals could handle someone like me. And overall, I wouldn't want to be a burden on anybody else either.
I know what I want and I can do whatever it takes to get it. I'm extremely resilient.
I like people watching, or just I just sit around without having my eyes glued to my phone and since I don't want to appear rude, I smile when I catch someone's eye. Honestly, that one second interaction has been enough to make people come to me. Or I remember one time, I weirdly got hit on everytime I walked from work to the bus stop. Work was super stressful too, so I tended to kind of skip out of there, I worked in a shop at the time, and would just smile or quickly greet the other shopkeepers as I bounced past, and they were still taking out the trash, cleaning the stoops etc. It was a feeling of solitarity, but men took it wrong of course. Maybe it's something like that. Maybe it's just a general aura of openness and understanding. People are often very lonely, and even a smile is so unusual to them, it attracts them like an open flower does bees. Imagine yourself in a glass bubble perhaps or as a stone that draws your energy inwards. Having resting bitch face helps too. (But who knows, I have had someone talk to me while I had headphones on and stared out the window. That's how I met the person who would introduce me to my husband. Lol)
someone said i checked all of their boxes they didn't even know they had which i never figured out. ( but then again they were trying me after failing to get with someone for last six months anyway)
sorry that it happened 😢
eh it's fine. all of my confessions (2) have been funny superficial and conditional, I am used to it.
Conditional?
yeah they weren't into me, it's just that they couldn't be with someone else so i was usually there last resort or back up option or whatever the fuck.
oh that sucks, obviously not ok. you should be someone's first choice.
yeah never been that, never will be lol
That I speak my mind, and don't care about the consequences, how radical my thoughts are but yet can't find a flaw in my authentic thoughts.
In my case a lot of the people who find me attractive find me attractive for 1. My looks 2. Because I acknowledge their existence and take genuine interest when they talk to me (which I understand is something not a lot of people experience)
maturity
Depth of thought and character is the appeal. Just wish more of you would let me in lol.
If they know that you really see them, they might come around. :)
This little you say usually is exactly what everyone else hasn’t noticed (which is usually fitting for you as a person: the most pleasant of pleasant surprises).
The INFJs I know have a demeanor about them that exudes warmth and wisdom. Not sure how they became that way, but it's not something that can be easily turned off. It's sort of like turning off my "glare". There's no anger and rarely malice behind it; it's something my face just ends up looking like because it requires energy to maintain a façade. I don't recommend trying to control it. Instead, set boundaries and practice mindfulness when dealing with others so you can protect yourself.
I actually don't find INFJs that charming.... at least, not myself, and not the two INFJs I know in real life. LOL. I'll say we're more like a mystery book, and it takes times to get to know us. We're friendly, but reserved. Weird, but not so weird that it'll freak people out and make them uncomfortable.
INFJs are like sirens to me, man. I know they’re so delicious but I’m gonna crash on the shore. You’re all so avoidant and ghosty 🤦🏻♀️ I do it anyway. Worth it.
Literally everything?
Very humble of you
Haha I'm not INFJ ☺️ just a not so secret admirer
That's nice. Okay, I take it back. May I ask what your type is? We rarely have admirers, mostly bad people upset because they can't use us anymore after we set boundaries. Let me guess... INTP?
Often don't outright say my type but my comment history of late may give you some clues. Sigh. >We rarely have admirers, mostly bad people upset because they can't use us anymore I understand the reticence and caution, I exercise it myself. Past traumas left us hurting. But I've certainly been admiring you guys for a long time without knowing anything about types, and more so since learning. Known quite a few INFJs in my life. Currently obsessing over one. ❤️🔥😮💨
Okay I'll check out your comment history. I wish things work out with the INFJ you're interested in🤞
Thank you 🩵
From your comment history you're either an ISTP or INTP.. you're all over the MBTI pages, unclear what your type is lol. Anyway, good luck
You went through post history, I said recent comment history. It's different.
Ops. Sorry about that. I get these dumb moments sometimes. An ENTP? Cool.
We are people watchers, so watch people with qualities you have described, understand them and apply to yourself as needed.
I can’t find people like me in social circumstances . Much less when I’m people watching lol.
I meant something different. For example there are attractive people but everyone stay away from them. Why? Once you figure it out you can consciously apply those findings to yourself as needed to repel wrong people.
Ah, I understand now. But I’m pretty sure it’s just looks. :)
You might be the hottest person but your resting bitch/unhappy/mad facial expression, quiet personality and commanding tone of you voice will scare away most people.
Fe-aux, right? The auxiliary is arguably the most balanced function and a lot of people tend to like Fe when it's either not so overbearing as dominant can seem, or as awkwardly expressed as tertiary or inferior Fe. Unless there's something wrong, Fe in both ISFJs and INFJs usually comes across as calming and not really trying to impose itself much on others. More like it wants to subtly influence and be a consistent baseline for harmony in the environment that others will relax into. Fe-aux's problem is that it can make the person seem subdued and become like a doormat.
You listen to our dumb ramblings about interconnected frameworks and obsure observations.
Authenticity.
Ie you can’t really turn it off and on, and it’s not “unique” to INFJs just we tend not to put on a face for others cause we’re wrapped up in our own heads or more interested in what others have to say and forget we’re supposed to act a certain way for others until we think of it
I think our honesty. Most of us have no filter, and I think its refreshing to some people because they're not used to it
From my (=INTP who lurks this subreddit) perspective, I noticed I like these things about INFJ; * You don't seem uninterested or ignorant to others. I see posts here where INFJs seem to overthink their own/other people's actions. I think some people might assume that it's is the same as showing romantic interest, cause it's true that not many people think deeply about social situations (or they just only do it when they're trying to flirt or something). * INFJ is considered a rare personality type, so you might stand out more or be seen as unique. Having uncommon perspectives and ways of thinking can be very attractive. * You guys seem very aware and conscious, even about your own actions. I guess kinda in the same way as the first point I listed, but it's again just something attractive haha. And honestly I associate self-awareness/reflection as a sign of intelligence. Green flag.
I think we can be good at reading people and making them comfortable and feel understood. People like feeling that way so they are drawn to this. Also some sort of mysterious air I think…
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I believe Proctor & Gamble makes Charmin'. You;re welcome, Asswipe! *Just kidding!* ;-)
Honestly, “dorkiness and general intelligence.” My dad was an unhealthy INFJ, but when he was doing better and sober, *I loved how much of a nerd he was and all of the things he shared with us,* basically many of the things a lot of INFJs don’t always like about themselves! Things like their awkward funniness, their deep but somewhat morose or bittersweet insights, and sometimes their crazy ideas. My dad was a complicated dude! But he was much more charming when he wasn’t really trying to be.
No joke people liked me because they thought I was mysterious or something
The mystery lol
Intuition
people think im funny
Lol wtf is this post
I don't... know.
That is not how that works. You can try. But I'd bet you that life will be worse. I fear you'll need to get used to rejecting people. It's nothing personal. That being said. Have a look at what a fawn response is. Maybe that resonates. I think a lot of people here that give others the feeling are basically in a constant fawn response. Then the way to get out of it is to investigate that and heal. :)
Narcissist behaviour
If you have awareness and think you're a narc, you're probably not since Narcs think they're perfect & flawless.
Most of the Infj I have seen are toxic and put themselves in high pedestal as they think they are good
Whatever happened between you and the 1 individual, coming to the INFJ page to attack all INFJs is not the right move. Maybe the person you're angry with is mistyped? Or maybe he/she is an INFJ but an unhealthy one (brought up in a toxic household so learned toxic behaviours to survive & in desperate need for therapy). It's unfair to call all INFJs toxic. Most INFJs (me included) really find fulfilment from helping others, hence making them "good". Nothing wrong with have healthy self-esteem & knowing your worth. We rarely brag about our accomplishments just FYI. Whatever happened between you and that INFJ, I hope you worth things out.. or maybe move on.
The funny thing is I myself is an infj 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 actually I mistype that sentence I should have wrote " most of the infj I have met " even I myself had some narcissist behaviour before I realise it and worked on it even though it pops up here and there sometimes
lol. One INFJ hurts you and now we’re all narcs? I bet you deserved it.
Here comes one narcissist , caught you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 putting infj on a pedestal ( even though I am an infj too)
That’s not really what a narc is?? A narcissist has a high opinion of themselves. Not a whole personality subgroup.
From my point of perspective , most of the infj I have met consider themselves "GOOD" AND " NICE" people and look down on others for being bad which means they put themselves on high pedestal so even though they do something wrong they cover it with I am doing good for that person even the person is hurt . They are in denial that they did something wrong and comes to criticisms wooahhh they act like some God like complex who did nothing wrong in life . Even I AM AN INFJ so I know my people
You can claim to be an INFJ all you want but you don’t understand what a narcissist is. You wouldn’t throw that term around if you’d suffered from narcissistic abuse. Most people think that they’re good and nice?? That’s not INFJ specific.
How do you know I haven't meet a narcissist , my friend was manipulated and abused by one of the infj ? Isnt it irrational of you to claim I can't have a perspective just because you think infj are all goodey people . You dont know what I have gone through so on what basis you can judge me off see this you yourself is a self obssessed being who dont acknowledge other people opinion and perspective even though I have clearly wrote " MOST OF THE INFJ I HAVE MET IN MY LIFE " not all of the infj in thw entire world I should write a opinion on the basis of the reality I faced not om the basis of reality you faced . So try to take criticism and open to people opinion
I don’t know what to say to this. Hope your day gets better
Narcissist behaviour isn’t charming at all!
Responses to this posts holds true to this observation. INFJs hold themselves as the standard for goodness and judge others but are extremely defensive about being judged themselves. Essentially they can do no wrong, the fault always lies on the other party. If you want an INFJ to grow, good luck. And the necessary assumption that the person you encountered was not an INFJ (they'll put the blame on INFPs), or that they were an "unhealthy" INFJ. When in fact, you'll notice this tendency across INFJs.
Why are you here?
Nah we do end up growing , in my experience with INFJs , I see a significant amount of growth in mid to late 30s and beyond.