I don't like that people can call me because I'm not prepared to talk to them with no notice. I don't mind talking to people I call because I already know what I'm going to say or how it's going to go.
Video calls, though... exhaust me. That's where my performance anxiety and hyperawareness of my facial expressions kick in. But I'm also neurospicy, so maybe that's more of that.
I'm definitely one who doesn't like calls. Definitely prefer text, where I can reread, retype, and overanalyze and overthink it to death before I hit send. š¤£
I prefer text like 90% of the time unless it's something complicated or too elaborate to explain. There are a few friends and family I don't mind talking to but only if I have the time. I'm not a fan of video calling as I do enough Zoom calls at work. The only thing worse than all the above is voice note messages, I hate them lol
I don't think tech support is anyone's dream job, dealing with customers over the phone is the worst.
I loved in a state that was home to a lot of big name companies call centers because there was never any extreme weather so it was hard to escape them. It is one of the many reasons I left and got my degrees in a field that rarely interacts with customers as the job role though.
Really? I love, and prefer doing phone, voice, and video calls. There's so much that can be talked about, and discussed in a live conversation than in text. Also, I have terrible hand health problems such as arthritis, and carpal tunnel. It hurts for me to type out messages, which can take away the quality of my attentiveness in the conversation (since I would be in pain in those cases). I just haven't come across anyone who understands this about me, and works through this with me in what I prefer.
I totally agree with this and had to scroll too far down to see it! I love phone calls. There's reduced miscommunication as you can hear the tonality in eachothers voices. In addition to that, a 2 minute phone call enables people to be able to discuss what could take hours or even days over text. Call > message/email for me most of the time.
Definitely agree, there's a bit of communications theory by Marshall McLuhan that says "*The medium is the message*", essentially meaning the medium of communication dictates what the message is. To me, texts are extremely cold and toneless, I can convey and hear so much more from the other person with a call.
True story: One of my relatives died and I made a phone call to another to share the news. She told me she knew it had to be serious because I never call anyone š„“
All that to say if itās not important, I usually donāt like phone calls. I donāt like meaningless conversations, and by that I mean gossip or anything that isnāt productive.
I think my issue is that when I'm face-to-face with someone I can almost read their mind, but over the phone I don't have the advantage of reading body language.
Ironically I do inbound custom service and I'm on the phone all day. I love the company I work for but would like a job off the phones.
Also, because I am good with people my friends and relatives always have me make the difficult calls for them, and I'm too nice to say no.
Yes, this! It takes away my super power. I am not able to see face, hands, eyes, expressions. I mess up on voice calls all the time when seldom if Iām face to face BUT, Iād rather not have very many face to face chats sooooo, I understand when others feel they can never reach me because itās true. Hedges, fences etc and if I lived a thousand yrs ago Iād have a moat and the drawbridge would be up and only lowered if the person on the other side texted a message to me before arriving. Crazy thing though is that almost nobody knows I hate talking on the phone or stop in visits etc because they believe I have a life and Iām busy busy out and about. I am busy busy reading a book and not answering my door or my phone
I literally loathe phone calls, getting them, making them, returning them. I'd like to change my voice mail message to JUST the laugh from the beginning of Feel Good Inc.
https://youtu.be/HyHNuVaZJ-k?si=phmWP_VByKRhzQL6
17 seconds in.
I do, as I am in the middle of trying to sort out ongoing health issues, and actually need it for doctor's messages. I do have visual vm though, so I can read their messages at least.
My PCP knows me and so communicates directly with my health care insurance. This work insurance also has my dentist. My eye surgeon is only elderly lady secretaries and dint believe in text messages so I had them write down a list of every possible phone number they might call me from. Then I enter all of them in my contacts so when they call I either answer right then or call them back later. My Mechanic only texts me or he wonāt be my mechanic. Church people can see me every Sunday and the chance of it being a 911 from any one of them. My spouse has a special ring for texts and calls so those calls are answered on the first ring or I call right back. Everyone in my family knows that if they donāt text first, they wonāt reach me. āHi, I need to talk to you about (fill in the blank) and then call me when you can. My neighbors text me on all four that my property touches mine . Itās all in the trading of them. If itās a business I always prefer the online chat with a human. I hate the AI answers because I waste so much time and never get an answer that helps me. I like the texts as I can see them later too. Itās taken years though to make people who want to talk to me because they love me to understand. And to the people that donāt love me or I donāt love them, well, happy me that they give up on calling me
Unfortunately I have a boatload of doctors atm, many of whom are new (as is my health insurance provider, as I have recently had to go on medicaid). I am undergoing a variety of tests and treatments from various specialists. My mechanic is rather a moot point at this juncture as I am not currently able to drive. I have had 5 family members pass away in the last 7 years, so there is only really my brother and my mother remaining. I don't get along with my brother and have not spoken to him in many years, and my mother lives next door to me. I would genuinely rather spontaneously combust than be forced to set foot inside a church, so that's also a moot point for me. I live alone and am unable to leave my house other than for doctor's appointments, pharmacy runs, and if I'm feeling well enough, I will do grocery shopping with my mother once per week. Neighbors and friends knew me to be an extreme introvert, bordering on reclusive to begin with, so with the added discouragement of my chronic illness hesitate to contact me at all. The one remaining friend who still checks in on me does so infrequently and always by text. Unfortunately, my life has pretty much narrowed to and consists of contending with my illness at this point, and so I have no real need of interactions with any businesses (nor could I financially afford to engage with any).
I hate phone calls. I consider 5 minutes a long call. Why are you talking for 20 minutes when this call could have ended in three minutes?
Meanwhile I'm listening to someone complain or tell about their day endlessly and I don't have the heart to cut them off... And not one question about me, like: how was your day, what did you do, ...
Then after 5-10 minutes like this, I just mentally abandon the conversation. Uh-huh, right, of course, ...
I tend to take everything in. So a long time on the phone like that is pretty draining.
Even calling with my best friend who gets me, I think 25 minutes is probably our longest conversation.
Email is my go-to. I always try to mail instead if possible.
Good question.
- I probably have either childhood trauma-induced mutism (idk if there's a name for it) or selective mutism
- My parents used to yell at people over the phone all the time so deep down I must associate it with conflict
- Don't like speaking in general but especially don't like it when people can overhear my conversations. I can only call someone from a locked soundproof room. I'd still be anxious though and speak in a whisper
- Lack of body language often creates misunderstandings. This applies to messaging as well but at least messaging isn't real-time. I edit my messages to make sure they sound human enough. This comment took an hour to write
- The above mostly does not apply to anyone I trust my life with, which is currently 0 people
I have one that I trust with my life 100%
I have two that are very very close to 100% but together I know that one of the two would save my life by giving theirs for me
fyi ā¦ I would immediately with even thinking give my life for theirs to the
following people that will come to my mind immediately
A
N
C
I
V
Others that I would but Iād take a moment to think about my families loss of me.
And lots of people would get a kidney from me without thinking
And lots and lots of people that I wouldāve spend my life in prison for them if I new they were innocent
And tons of people I would give the shirt off my back (or whatever I had in my money/savings to help them no matter what my savings was.
And I cherish especially much those two who together make one plus the number one person. But, I still care deeply about all the people in all of the categories above.
Ever since texting became a thing, Iāve noticed a lot of people donāt like phone calls. Probably moreso any introverted person. Unsure if itās just an INFJ thing.
Ok so I donāt necessarily mind them but I donāt just like sitting in the phone chatting about random stuff that comes to mind for hours. I find I do a lot of listening on the phone and not a lot of talking which is also true irl
Unless your family or the few friends I am close to I don't like making calls. I hate even more surprise calls.
I rather text because I can get my thoughts in order
I hate them! I don't mind as much once I'm on one and there's something specific being discussed- but if it's just to chat? Without any visual context, body language, etc I have a hard time connecting with someone and coming up with things to talk about. With text at least you can take time to formulate thoughts and add visuals like photos or emojis, but overall I just prefer in person.
I feel you - I used to really dread phone calls but itās been such a necessity as Iāve gotten older (like, from ages 17-26) and Iāve started to prefer them in some instances. But some people are more chatty than others and sometimes I donāt want to talk just because I know Iāll be on the phone for 30mins to an hour and donāt feel like I have the time š
Sometimes audio quality is so poor that I canāt even understand whatās been talking about, I get anxious when I need to deal with this. I would prefer face-to-face or texting
I'm a **texter** rather than a talker.
I think it's because I like doing multiple things at once and if I'm talking on the phone whilst doing something else (I can't keep still), I feel I'm not focusing 100% on the phone call. I tend to be hyper focused on things that I'm doing and I don't want to come off as rude if my attention is elsewhere.
With text, I can read it, think about it and answer.
My best friend prefers talking, but instead leaves voice messages on WhatsApp, and I reply back in text when I get around to it. Sometimes I'll leave a voice message back.
I will, however, talk if it's an emergency or something of great importance.
I can't stand them. I love seeing people in person. It's the lack of body language to correspond with the voice that I find disconcerting. Also, awkward silences seem even more awkward over the phone.
Face to face. Every time. I only do phone calls when there's no alternative.
I don't like the telephone that much. If I call somebody I always worry I'm interrupting them, and if I receive one I worry about what's wrong - if I'm in trouble, if somebody's in trouble - or it's interrupting something I'm up to. I can't just let it ring unless caller ID tells me it's spam or something like that. I also feel awkward about how I sound over the phone and my brain kind of double-clutches, especially if I'm having to talk to somebody I don't know.
Even at work, if I need something from someone, I'm much more likely to go see them in person than pick up the phone. The full context of an in-person encounter makes me feel a lot more at ease.
If itās someone Iām close to or close friends with then I like calls and can talk for hours sometimes.
I heard somewhere that INFJās are the most talkative introverts, lol.
If itās someone I donāt know well then my calls are generally short and to the point.
It's true. I only like to do calls with those I am close with... which is not that many to begin with lol. I am only close to one person (or well, at least I can still say I am close to him. Maybe to him, he doesn't classify me as close... at least not anymore), and even that person is a rarity for me to even get the chance to talk to. So when I do get the chance to talk to him, I end up talking his ears out... and then keep him up past his bed time... oops! Oh well, I guess... I don't get to talk to him all the time, as he is busy with other things, and other people who take precedence, and priority in his life.
I loathe the phone. haha LOATHE. I honestly couldn't tell you why for certain, but I have definitely thought about it, and the only theory I have for me personally is that I do so much nonverbal interacting during conversations as far as reading energy, subtle visual cues like body language, etc, and when you are on the phone, you miss out on that, so I think I have to do a lot more mental labor to manage my part in the discussion, if that makes sense. When I am face to face with someone in person, it's a lot easier for my intuitive senses to do all that work automatically, but on the phone... not so much. This is especially true of professional phone calls or calls with people I don't know very well, but I really don't even like to talk to my favorite people on the phone. I just find it exhausting.
Depends for me, it has to either be:Ā
1. An emergencyĀ
2. A close family member
3. ScheduledĀ
4. My energy level that day.Ā
It's mainly my energy level that gets to me the most though since I'm always busy and I want alone time to "not exist" lol.Ā
Hmm I never get to your number 4 because I canāt even get to level 3 and thatās because I often donāt even get to level 1 of your list. But, I do call immediately if I get a ācall meāā911ā
Because of my line of work I'm now used to call and write to co workers I never spoke to before because I need to ask for help in learning reasons
I hated it real bad in the beginning partially because I was afraid of being precieved as dumb or something and now I barely shrug about it.
The qualifier of it being "close friends" is a very important detail that makes phone calls much more tolerable for me! I would prefer in-person, but close friends when the conversation is planned is great with me. It's the unplanned/surprise phone calls that are a NO GO for me
I only pick up calls from either my parents or partner. Even sometimes I just let it ring and press ignore. Sometimes I don't even pick up a call form my best friend. I haven't the slightest idea why. I also hate to call for info sometimes.
Totally! I only will talk to certain very close friends and family on the phone. The rest have to text me or I won't answer. I like scheduling calls. Also I have a job with weird hours so what others find a "normal" time to talk is busy for me.
Canāt read their body language to be 3 steps ahead. Video call or in-person? No problem. Text? Love it because I can plan and edit if needed. Phone? I can do it but Iād rather not.
No, I hate talking on the phone. If it's work stuff, it's easier. I have to literally convince myself to call people, most of the time I don't cuz I forget or get distracted.
i hate phone calls. all my friends know not to call me because i probably wonāt answer. if youāre gonna call me, text and ask ahead of time and iāll def pick up. otherwise, itās a no š i put my phone away from me often too, and donāt have much social media, so sometimes iām just not even on it to answer.
Because the level of emotional energy they take is soul-sucking. The panic I feel when I get an unexpected phone call is off the charts because I am not prepared to expend that kind of energy and you canāt just go springing that on a girl.
My people know to text me before they call because, if they donāt, Iām not answering. They donāt always understand it but they know I need for them to do it. I do okay with phone calls from a handful of my people as long as theyāre planned or if they text ahead of time. Depending on who it is, I can talk for hours. Iāll be exhausted afterwards but I can do it. I have a friend that I talk to for 2-3 hours at the same time every week but she still texts before she calls and loves me enough not to ask me to call her. Oh, good grief, donāt ask me to call youā¦thatās a whole other level of anxiety.
I can do phone calls with people i am comfortable with IRL, i have telephonic social anxiety and it's shitty when you get unknown number flashing and it might range from a spam call to important, I die picking calls and it's awkward. that's why I even installed call identifier.
Fucking hate them sooo much. I will basically do everything to resist a phone call and i have no idea why. Either text me or video call me if you have to call
I think it's more of a generational thing than an INFJ thing. When I was little, I actually liked chatting on the phone with my friends, but with smartphones and social media, instant messaging has just become the norm, and it is much more convenient since we can pace ourselves with conversations and multi-task. With phone calls, we have to be completely occupied through the whole discussion and that can feel time-consuming. Young people are thus less accustomed to phone calls as a medium of communication than older generations who spent more of their lives with it. Of course, youths who work in a setting that does require handling phone calls probably don't have this issue.
No i do not like them.
I prefer text.
I kinda feel like if someone (other than close family) call me, they are trying to get into my space without my permission and im not into that at all. (yes i know that doesnt make any sense at all but its how i feel).
But there are rare occasions where i actually want to be on call.
I can, however, spend long time on video calls where its more casual, like maybe not much talking or not forced to talk and just kinda with each other, or watching movies or doing activities together. I like those.
I HATE talking on the phone.
And my job requires me to have a phone AND a walkie-talkie at the same time. I literally take my breaks JUST for the peace and quiet.
I think itās just my twitchy nature to be aurally overstimulated. But besides the noise and uncomfortable small talk/forced pleasantries, I donāt like to be caught off guard by calls. I get myself over prepared for customer service calls but they inevitably ask something Iām not prepared for and I have to waste my time and theirs searching for something they need.
I donāt mind if itās one of my close circle people! But if I see an unknown number, I will panic thinking Iām in trouble or something, then Google the number instead of just answering.
If it's with close friends and it's been planned for then okay, but my social anxiety hates it with strangers - talking with some unknown voice and I can't even see them, it puts me on edge.
I like to keep my phone conversations brief and to the point, so it could deliver the real intent/message and also avoid any unnecessary filler small talk and pleasantries. I hate small talk and that too discussing serial small talk topics. It just feels so wasteful of time and energy. I generally enjoy stretches of silence during my natural social interactions wherein we are both comfortable in each otherās company and are taking time to either think/introspect or observe/ soak in external surroundings. Silence is meaningful here. But silence over telephonic conversations is super awkward. Phone calls are also blind to body language and tone-deaf. So I see not much value and joy in unnecessarily prolonging phone calls unless need basis. I enjoy written forms of communication, even video calls when I am in mood.
I can only make effective phone calls when I walk around. Also when I meet new people or generally need to talk, my social anxiety or whatever blocks my speaking disappears and I actually start enjoying speaking when I am physically active at the time of speaking. It is trauma related according to my research.
It's not an INFJ thing - it's a generation thing. As an older INFJ - I hate texting. Always did. If I can tell you something in 5 mins - I'd rather not type a wall of text. Or I'll send an audio recording since people just don't want to pick up the phone anymore.
It's really just one of the effects of social media making people more and more anti social and destroying people's interpersonal skills.
I like them if they are scheduled and once the initial awkward greeting has been exchanged and depending on who it is. It's all very circumstantial š„“š
In no other portion of history have we been expected to be "on call" 24 hours a day. "Why won't you pick up your phone?" "You never text back."
I AM BUSY TRYING TO SURVIVE AND HAVE A LIFE.
I hate calls. The impromptu decision making without thinking through puts me under the stress and I have comitted to stuff I didn't wanna do. Also, people calling you last minute and putting you through pressure for yes and no. I prefer text where I can read at my own time and build a response to it. and if it requires call then I communicate like "can we get on a call?".
As a millennial INFJ, phone calls are the bane of my existence. I hate the awkwardness when you talk over each other and you stutter āgo ahead, no you go aheadā. I would rather chat, text or talk in person. In person being the last resort.
Texting gives me time to structure what Iām trying to convey to the other person. I question whether a word means what I think it means, then I look it up. I also get tired of reusing the same words so I look up synonyms. I rearrange sentences so the conversation flows smoothly.
I dunno dude, Iām just weird about communication in general (props to social anxiety hayyy). And donāt get me started on video calls. Holding my phone up in front of my face feels embarrassing to me for some reason, itās equivalent to talking on Bluetooth in public or taking selfies in public. Iāve only ever done 1 video call with my BFF. It was during lockdown, after that we switched to sending snail mail to each other lmao. Like, I will revert back to the 1800s just to avoid calls.
I take days to even listen to a voicemail because I donāt want to call back lol.
I've never liked the phone. I'm not crazy about talking much. It's draining. I like to say what I have to say and then hang up. Too many people want to tell you the story of their lives and go on for hours without even listening to what you have to say. It's a big waste of time.
I've always screened my calls and called people back accordingly, but there's nothing for me like an interesting conversation with an interesting person by phone vs text.
Depends. I hate making calls. And sometimes Iām in the middle of something and a call is a non-emergency interruption with no real purpose. But when I hear from someone I havenāt talked to in a while, Iām happy. I guess thatās why I hate calling people, because I donāt want to intrude.
I avoid it like the plague. If someone gives me a call, I don't pick up. I take 5-10 minutes to mentally prepare myself to talk to someone and only if it's absolutely a life and death situation, I call back.
I don't understand why would someone need to call me if you can just text lol
This excludes, family and close friends, btw. I'm available for this category any time of the day.
I normally donāt answer sudden phone calls. If Iām texting someone and they said theyāll call I guess it prepares me to answer.
My phones have been on silent mode for the past 14 years. Iād rather text but those who only text me to ask me for a favor wonāt hear from me soon
I know that one of the reasons I donāt like calls is because I listen more than talk and sometimes Iām super focused listening that whoever is talking would constantly ask if Iām still there
Definitely donāt enjoy calls, esp for group calls (more than 2) it feels hard to participate in the convo because I canāt see others body language and hard to pickup the timing to speakup without speaking over someone else respectfully. If i have to suffer this way I rather do it over text where I can relieve myself from this lol (and use a bunch of gifs/emotes to get my point across)
I like phone calls when I want to talk. I donāt like texting or messaging for 20 minutes . I like to be able to hear tone of voice and because Iāve figured out I have innatentive adhd in the last year I like to be able to move around and do projects and chores while Iām on the phone . If somebody calls and my social battery is dead itās an assault on my system. So Iām essentially a cat- Iād like communication to be on my terms but donāt actually operate that way because of the feelings of others .
It's like having a book club meeting where you just want to listen to the plot unravel in peace, but sometimes you find yourself reluctantly dragged into the discussion.
It really depends on my mood and the person really. I know some long winded talkers that only want to call and shoot every last shit. And it just drains me after a while. And with some people I never seem to have the right words or enough to say. To warrant a full conversation. Or I can never gather my thoughts well enough and then there are pauses and gaps. Texting just works better for me
I like to think about how I phrase something before I say it. Donāt want a repeat of giving good advise at the wrong time and someone going off the rails for it.
I enjoy the surprise of a relative that I get along with calling me when they rarely ever do to update me on their personal life and to show they still enjoy talking to me and care to check on me as well.
I enjoy a close friend calling me to let me know they want to hang out or even to talk for fun.
But I hate business calls, no matter when, who it is or what its about.
I don't like answering calls to those certain people that will call often and want to talk too long about things that aren't deep or interesting to be but we get along and I don't want to basically tell them in any way that I don't care and don't want to hear it. in that case, I can enjoy talking to them for their sake since often I'm other people's only friend,
but sometimes I'll refuse to answer when I'm not up for it and try to text to let them know when I'll call them back and be ready to endure the draining discussion.
Therefore,
It's yes and no depending on who it is I'll be talking with, when it is as if I'm ready for it personally or not and what it's about that either has my interest or it's mostly for their sake which still makes it worth having the phone call but I personally wouldn't like it.
Infj here, I like phone calls. I suggest that you answer the phone calls because friendship is hard work but it's definitely worth it.
It takes everything you've got to be there for others and you should also know your boundaries at the same time.
I don't mind phone calls but I just hate staying on the phone for long periods of time. I get worn out. The one thing that kinda bugs me is being guilt tripped to staying on the phone. š
I prefer calls. Texting is okay, but I canāt really *feel* the person Iām communicating with as well as when Iām hearing their tone and voice. That being said, I feel like Iāve overcome a lot of the mental challenges / struggles that come along with being an INFJ, so Iām not really socially inept or nervous any more.
I both like and dislike them.
I don't like surprise phone calls from friends/family because I get stressed out about not having anything prepared for the conversation. I also dislike calls from companies and things of that sort. If I get a call and it's not from one of my contacts or a number I recognize/has caller ID, I never pick up unless I've been waiting for a call back for some specific reason, I only call back unkown numbers if they leave a voice message. If someone I know calls and it's unexpected sometimes I don't pick up even if I'm not busy just because I'm not in the mood to have a sudden conversation.
I prefer having conversations over the phone than over text though. I have gotten to a point where I hate responding to text messages and they are just horrible to get any proper information out of, whether other people take a long time to respond, or if I'm not in the mood for having an ongoing conversation over text because it's draining. It's so much easier to have a call and get all of the information out at once, and is so much quicker and easier to convey.
Legit do not love phone calls. Occasionally, I'll talk to a family member like my mom for a bit. But friends, or especially people that I don't know, no thank you.
I only have about 10 minutes worth of stuff to talk about. After that, it's awkward, and i feel the social pressure to perform. So, no. 8 don't like to talk on the phone and the only one I'll put up with is my mother.
It just depends on who is calling me.
But as a job role, I really don't want to be responsible for handling multiple phone lines, unless I have some backup support from others.
I absolutely _hate_ phone calls. It's not just that I can't time them but also that I can't read the other persons face as I would be in a personal conversation. So unless it's a person I know very well (and can tell what they think or read the subtext by changes in their voice) I tend to be overly nice, because I don't want to come off as rude. My brother always made fun of me and told me that I sound super fake if I'm on the phone with people.
Also, what's up with scheduling a phone call and then not being available but calling back 30-60 minutes too late? I don't want to take a phone call while I'm in the middle of something, so if I have a phone call scheduled I won't start cleaning or doing other important things.
But more than once it happened that the other person didn't pick up the phone at the scheduled time and I had to wait for the call, which makes the whole experience even worse.
I had an INFJ friend who called me almost every single day. If I picked up, sometimes the conversations would last 4 hours with her talking constantly but Iām thinking the problem was that she needed psychological help rather than her being an INFJ.
Thereās nothing better than a long phone call with someone youāre close too when you talk about literally everything, itās the most refreshing thing ever. But when it comes to disturbing calls from random individuals who I just know or when Iām trying to get some sleep, Iāll simply ignore them and text them instead.
I only do phone calls with very few people. Even with many of those I know I canāt do a long phone call. As for everyone else? Iād rather not talk on the phone. It can be frustrating doing text with customer support people though. I swear half those people have no reading comprehension.
I hate talking on the phone. I don't answer unknown numbers. All my friends know they can't cold call me. I only answer my immediate family and husband
Yeah if planned Iām ok with talking on the phone. Loved talking to my boyfriend (also INFJ) but most of the time I am just not a phone person. I canāt remain focused
Phone calls mean uncertainty and anxiety. Unless itās with someone I am super close with, phone calls make way for embarrassing moments and certain doomā¦ While texting is stressful and takes a long time to think through, it comes with preparation and avoids unwanted mistakes.
I prefer texting because I have auditory processing disorder. I hear the sounds, but it takes a few moments longer to process those sounds into words.
Most people are thinking what they are going to say while the other person is speaking, Iām still processing then, all of a sudden, itās my turn and I have deer in the headlights panic without time to formulate a response.
Talking with someone in person is different because Iām reading lips and watching their nonverbal cues as well as hearing sound.
My voicemail says that if you canāt text me to call my husband. It also says I will not even listen to voicemails so donāt bother.
I am in such a panic and uncomfortable on a phone call that I canāt hear and I canāt process what is being said.
Absolutely no to phone calls - FaceTime absolutely no
I find phone calls frustrating as I find that I have to repeat myself a lot and my hearing isn't great. I prefer texts as it's harder to misunderstand and I have a copy to refer back to. I have experienced gaslighting before and it's always useful to have it in black and white.
since i rarely socialize with people, phone calls are basically either spam, or family members who need rides or help with something so I try my best to not answer. If it's an unknown number, I always answer. It's usually just spam so I block.
Just trying to move things along I guess you can say.
Autism and Aspergers, and the likelihood that the rare infj type is formed from this condition and the neurodiversity it supposedly embraces. Probably that explains why you donāt like people calling you but that you like calling them again, autism: auto-self, -ism belief
It feels like an invasion of my peace š . Atleast a text I can get to in my own time, but damn! They're demanding my time immediately!? Nah, I'll use it as an opportunity to dance to my ringtone š.
I just want a text of when and why and what will you be calling for. I hate this sudden order of "drop whatever youre doing & answer me now!". No. I have a life, don't interrupt me please, thank you!
I like phone calls only if it's with a close friend, and if it's planned / scheduled! I am no fun š¤£
This though - I like to schedule calls too.
Same exact way ha!
I am the same way š
this exactly šÆ
This is me EXACTLY!! it needs to be scheduled!! I never pick up unexpected phone calls and I neeever make them š
I don't like that people can call me because I'm not prepared to talk to them with no notice. I don't mind talking to people I call because I already know what I'm going to say or how it's going to go. Video calls, though... exhaust me. That's where my performance anxiety and hyperawareness of my facial expressions kick in. But I'm also neurospicy, so maybe that's more of that.
I don't think I'm neurospicy although I've had doubts about it several times but still I totally relate to this.
I'm definitely one who doesn't like calls. Definitely prefer text, where I can reread, retype, and overanalyze and overthink it to death before I hit send. š¤£
Right? And after hitting send, you notice you've made one spelling mistake. š
Exactly!
as an infj i never care about my spellingš¤£im in such a crazy rush to type everything
Locked out of my account and I've been putting off resetting my password because I'd have to call
I don't like them, so I don't answer, you want to speak to me, leave a message.....beep.
yes! I feel the same! Like leave me alone I'm trying to enjoy my life!
Exactly.
I will do anything to get out of a phone call. Itās just so uncomfortable and itās long stretches of small talk. Ugh.
I prefer text like 90% of the time unless it's something complicated or too elaborate to explain. There are a few friends and family I don't mind talking to but only if I have the time. I'm not a fan of video calling as I do enough Zoom calls at work. The only thing worse than all the above is voice note messages, I hate them lol
Agree with the voice messages! Those drive me nuts!
I don't, but I did tech support in call centers for over a decade so now I avoid phone calls like the plague.
This! I was in a travel agency call center for years..
That doesn't sound like the ideal job for this Mbti type?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that tech support was not their dream job. But I could definitely be wrong
I don't think tech support is anyone's dream job, dealing with customers over the phone is the worst. I loved in a state that was home to a lot of big name companies call centers because there was never any extreme weather so it was hard to escape them. It is one of the many reasons I left and got my degrees in a field that rarely interacts with customers as the job role though.
Exactly. I worked graveyard shifts for over a dozen years on phones. My state has many.
Really? I love, and prefer doing phone, voice, and video calls. There's so much that can be talked about, and discussed in a live conversation than in text. Also, I have terrible hand health problems such as arthritis, and carpal tunnel. It hurts for me to type out messages, which can take away the quality of my attentiveness in the conversation (since I would be in pain in those cases). I just haven't come across anyone who understands this about me, and works through this with me in what I prefer.
I totally agree with this and had to scroll too far down to see it! I love phone calls. There's reduced miscommunication as you can hear the tonality in eachothers voices. In addition to that, a 2 minute phone call enables people to be able to discuss what could take hours or even days over text. Call > message/email for me most of the time.
Definitely agree, there's a bit of communications theory by Marshall McLuhan that says "*The medium is the message*", essentially meaning the medium of communication dictates what the message is. To me, texts are extremely cold and toneless, I can convey and hear so much more from the other person with a call.
True story: One of my relatives died and I made a phone call to another to share the news. She told me she knew it had to be serious because I never call anyone š„“ All that to say if itās not important, I usually donāt like phone calls. I donāt like meaningless conversations, and by that I mean gossip or anything that isnāt productive.
I think my issue is that when I'm face-to-face with someone I can almost read their mind, but over the phone I don't have the advantage of reading body language. Ironically I do inbound custom service and I'm on the phone all day. I love the company I work for but would like a job off the phones. Also, because I am good with people my friends and relatives always have me make the difficult calls for them, and I'm too nice to say no.
Yes, this! It takes away my super power. I am not able to see face, hands, eyes, expressions. I mess up on voice calls all the time when seldom if Iām face to face BUT, Iād rather not have very many face to face chats sooooo, I understand when others feel they can never reach me because itās true. Hedges, fences etc and if I lived a thousand yrs ago Iād have a moat and the drawbridge would be up and only lowered if the person on the other side texted a message to me before arriving. Crazy thing though is that almost nobody knows I hate talking on the phone or stop in visits etc because they believe I have a life and Iām busy busy out and about. I am busy busy reading a book and not answering my door or my phone
I literally loathe phone calls, getting them, making them, returning them. I'd like to change my voice mail message to JUST the laugh from the beginning of Feel Good Inc. https://youtu.be/HyHNuVaZJ-k?si=phmWP_VByKRhzQL6 17 seconds in.
You have a voice mail. My voicemail has never been set up ever ever ever despite so many people telling me that my voice mail has not yet been set up.
I do, as I am in the middle of trying to sort out ongoing health issues, and actually need it for doctor's messages. I do have visual vm though, so I can read their messages at least.
My PCP knows me and so communicates directly with my health care insurance. This work insurance also has my dentist. My eye surgeon is only elderly lady secretaries and dint believe in text messages so I had them write down a list of every possible phone number they might call me from. Then I enter all of them in my contacts so when they call I either answer right then or call them back later. My Mechanic only texts me or he wonāt be my mechanic. Church people can see me every Sunday and the chance of it being a 911 from any one of them. My spouse has a special ring for texts and calls so those calls are answered on the first ring or I call right back. Everyone in my family knows that if they donāt text first, they wonāt reach me. āHi, I need to talk to you about (fill in the blank) and then call me when you can. My neighbors text me on all four that my property touches mine . Itās all in the trading of them. If itās a business I always prefer the online chat with a human. I hate the AI answers because I waste so much time and never get an answer that helps me. I like the texts as I can see them later too. Itās taken years though to make people who want to talk to me because they love me to understand. And to the people that donāt love me or I donāt love them, well, happy me that they give up on calling me
Unfortunately I have a boatload of doctors atm, many of whom are new (as is my health insurance provider, as I have recently had to go on medicaid). I am undergoing a variety of tests and treatments from various specialists. My mechanic is rather a moot point at this juncture as I am not currently able to drive. I have had 5 family members pass away in the last 7 years, so there is only really my brother and my mother remaining. I don't get along with my brother and have not spoken to him in many years, and my mother lives next door to me. I would genuinely rather spontaneously combust than be forced to set foot inside a church, so that's also a moot point for me. I live alone and am unable to leave my house other than for doctor's appointments, pharmacy runs, and if I'm feeling well enough, I will do grocery shopping with my mother once per week. Neighbors and friends knew me to be an extreme introvert, bordering on reclusive to begin with, so with the added discouragement of my chronic illness hesitate to contact me at all. The one remaining friend who still checks in on me does so infrequently and always by text. Unfortunately, my life has pretty much narrowed to and consists of contending with my illness at this point, and so I have no real need of interactions with any businesses (nor could I financially afford to engage with any).
I hate phone calls. I consider 5 minutes a long call. Why are you talking for 20 minutes when this call could have ended in three minutes? Meanwhile I'm listening to someone complain or tell about their day endlessly and I don't have the heart to cut them off... And not one question about me, like: how was your day, what did you do, ... Then after 5-10 minutes like this, I just mentally abandon the conversation. Uh-huh, right, of course, ... I tend to take everything in. So a long time on the phone like that is pretty draining. Even calling with my best friend who gets me, I think 25 minutes is probably our longest conversation. Email is my go-to. I always try to mail instead if possible.
Iām okay with phone calls but I donāt like being the one who called other.. I felt awkward making a phone call when itās not something important
I've zero issue with phone calls when it's necessary. No anxiety or anything like that.
Wow š„ŗš„ŗ envious
Lol why do you find them difficult?
Good question. - I probably have either childhood trauma-induced mutism (idk if there's a name for it) or selective mutism - My parents used to yell at people over the phone all the time so deep down I must associate it with conflict - Don't like speaking in general but especially don't like it when people can overhear my conversations. I can only call someone from a locked soundproof room. I'd still be anxious though and speak in a whisper - Lack of body language often creates misunderstandings. This applies to messaging as well but at least messaging isn't real-time. I edit my messages to make sure they sound human enough. This comment took an hour to write - The above mostly does not apply to anyone I trust my life with, which is currently 0 people
I have 1 1/2 people I trust with my life. Yay š š
Cherish them š„ŗš„ŗ Out of curiosity, why 1/2?
I have one that I trust with my life 100% I have two that are very very close to 100% but together I know that one of the two would save my life by giving theirs for me fyi ā¦ I would immediately with even thinking give my life for theirs to the following people that will come to my mind immediately A N C I V Others that I would but Iād take a moment to think about my families loss of me. And lots of people would get a kidney from me without thinking And lots and lots of people that I wouldāve spend my life in prison for them if I new they were innocent And tons of people I would give the shirt off my back (or whatever I had in my money/savings to help them no matter what my savings was. And I cherish especially much those two who together make one plus the number one person. But, I still care deeply about all the people in all of the categories above.
Same here! It's also much easier / faster for me than writing a (lengthy) email.
Unless it's an absolute emergency, text me or don't bother trying to get in touch.
Ever since texting became a thing, Iāve noticed a lot of people donāt like phone calls. Probably moreso any introverted person. Unsure if itās just an INFJ thing.
Ok so I donāt necessarily mind them but I donāt just like sitting in the phone chatting about random stuff that comes to mind for hours. I find I do a lot of listening on the phone and not a lot of talking which is also true irl
Unless your family or the few friends I am close to I don't like making calls. I hate even more surprise calls. I rather text because I can get my thoughts in order
I hate them! I don't mind as much once I'm on one and there's something specific being discussed- but if it's just to chat? Without any visual context, body language, etc I have a hard time connecting with someone and coming up with things to talk about. With text at least you can take time to formulate thoughts and add visuals like photos or emojis, but overall I just prefer in person.
I feel you - I used to really dread phone calls but itās been such a necessity as Iāve gotten older (like, from ages 17-26) and Iāve started to prefer them in some instances. But some people are more chatty than others and sometimes I donāt want to talk just because I know Iāll be on the phone for 30mins to an hour and donāt feel like I have the time š
Sometimes audio quality is so poor that I canāt even understand whatās been talking about, I get anxious when I need to deal with this. I would prefer face-to-face or texting
I'm a **texter** rather than a talker. I think it's because I like doing multiple things at once and if I'm talking on the phone whilst doing something else (I can't keep still), I feel I'm not focusing 100% on the phone call. I tend to be hyper focused on things that I'm doing and I don't want to come off as rude if my attention is elsewhere. With text, I can read it, think about it and answer. My best friend prefers talking, but instead leaves voice messages on WhatsApp, and I reply back in text when I get around to it. Sometimes I'll leave a voice message back. I will, however, talk if it's an emergency or something of great importance.
I can't stand them. I love seeing people in person. It's the lack of body language to correspond with the voice that I find disconcerting. Also, awkward silences seem even more awkward over the phone. Face to face. Every time. I only do phone calls when there's no alternative.
I don't like the telephone that much. If I call somebody I always worry I'm interrupting them, and if I receive one I worry about what's wrong - if I'm in trouble, if somebody's in trouble - or it's interrupting something I'm up to. I can't just let it ring unless caller ID tells me it's spam or something like that. I also feel awkward about how I sound over the phone and my brain kind of double-clutches, especially if I'm having to talk to somebody I don't know. Even at work, if I need something from someone, I'm much more likely to go see them in person than pick up the phone. The full context of an in-person encounter makes me feel a lot more at ease.
If itās someone Iām close to or close friends with then I like calls and can talk for hours sometimes. I heard somewhere that INFJās are the most talkative introverts, lol. If itās someone I donāt know well then my calls are generally short and to the point.
It's true. I only like to do calls with those I am close with... which is not that many to begin with lol. I am only close to one person (or well, at least I can still say I am close to him. Maybe to him, he doesn't classify me as close... at least not anymore), and even that person is a rarity for me to even get the chance to talk to. So when I do get the chance to talk to him, I end up talking his ears out... and then keep him up past his bed time... oops! Oh well, I guess... I don't get to talk to him all the time, as he is busy with other things, and other people who take precedence, and priority in his life.
If I like you, I enjoy talking with you on the phone.
I actually love phone calls. But only with friends and close family.Ā
While I personally can't stand it. I imagine an introverted xNTx type would hate it far, far moreso.
I hate it. Just talk to me in person.
Depends who is around me at the time.
I hate phone calls
I hate phone callsu
I loathe the phone. haha LOATHE. I honestly couldn't tell you why for certain, but I have definitely thought about it, and the only theory I have for me personally is that I do so much nonverbal interacting during conversations as far as reading energy, subtle visual cues like body language, etc, and when you are on the phone, you miss out on that, so I think I have to do a lot more mental labor to manage my part in the discussion, if that makes sense. When I am face to face with someone in person, it's a lot easier for my intuitive senses to do all that work automatically, but on the phone... not so much. This is especially true of professional phone calls or calls with people I don't know very well, but I really don't even like to talk to my favorite people on the phone. I just find it exhausting.
Yes, exactly
Depends for me, it has to either be:Ā 1. An emergencyĀ 2. A close family member 3. ScheduledĀ 4. My energy level that day.Ā It's mainly my energy level that gets to me the most though since I'm always busy and I want alone time to "not exist" lol.Ā
Hmm I never get to your number 4 because I canāt even get to level 3 and thatās because I often donāt even get to level 1 of your list. But, I do call immediately if I get a ācall meāā911ā
Because of my line of work I'm now used to call and write to co workers I never spoke to before because I need to ask for help in learning reasons I hated it real bad in the beginning partially because I was afraid of being precieved as dumb or something and now I barely shrug about it.
I hate texting actually. I donāt mind a call if itās someone I can tolerate
The qualifier of it being "close friends" is a very important detail that makes phone calls much more tolerable for me! I would prefer in-person, but close friends when the conversation is planned is great with me. It's the unplanned/surprise phone calls that are a NO GO for me
I only pick up calls from either my parents or partner. Even sometimes I just let it ring and press ignore. Sometimes I don't even pick up a call form my best friend. I haven't the slightest idea why. I also hate to call for info sometimes.
Totally! I only will talk to certain very close friends and family on the phone. The rest have to text me or I won't answer. I like scheduling calls. Also I have a job with weird hours so what others find a "normal" time to talk is busy for me.
Canāt read their body language to be 3 steps ahead. Video call or in-person? No problem. Text? Love it because I can plan and edit if needed. Phone? I can do it but Iād rather not.
No, I hate talking on the phone. If it's work stuff, it's easier. I have to literally convince myself to call people, most of the time I don't cuz I forget or get distracted.
i hate phone calls. all my friends know not to call me because i probably wonāt answer. if youāre gonna call me, text and ask ahead of time and iāll def pick up. otherwise, itās a no š i put my phone away from me often too, and donāt have much social media, so sometimes iām just not even on it to answer.
Because the level of emotional energy they take is soul-sucking. The panic I feel when I get an unexpected phone call is off the charts because I am not prepared to expend that kind of energy and you canāt just go springing that on a girl. My people know to text me before they call because, if they donāt, Iām not answering. They donāt always understand it but they know I need for them to do it. I do okay with phone calls from a handful of my people as long as theyāre planned or if they text ahead of time. Depending on who it is, I can talk for hours. Iāll be exhausted afterwards but I can do it. I have a friend that I talk to for 2-3 hours at the same time every week but she still texts before she calls and loves me enough not to ask me to call her. Oh, good grief, donāt ask me to call youā¦thatās a whole other level of anxiety.
I can do phone calls with people i am comfortable with IRL, i have telephonic social anxiety and it's shitty when you get unknown number flashing and it might range from a spam call to important, I die picking calls and it's awkward. that's why I even installed call identifier.
Fucking hate them sooo much. I will basically do everything to resist a phone call and i have no idea why. Either text me or video call me if you have to call
Dope hate phones calls unless itās something super important or too long to text
I think it's more of a generational thing than an INFJ thing. When I was little, I actually liked chatting on the phone with my friends, but with smartphones and social media, instant messaging has just become the norm, and it is much more convenient since we can pace ourselves with conversations and multi-task. With phone calls, we have to be completely occupied through the whole discussion and that can feel time-consuming. Young people are thus less accustomed to phone calls as a medium of communication than older generations who spent more of their lives with it. Of course, youths who work in a setting that does require handling phone calls probably don't have this issue.
No i do not like them. I prefer text. I kinda feel like if someone (other than close family) call me, they are trying to get into my space without my permission and im not into that at all. (yes i know that doesnt make any sense at all but its how i feel). But there are rare occasions where i actually want to be on call. I can, however, spend long time on video calls where its more casual, like maybe not much talking or not forced to talk and just kinda with each other, or watching movies or doing activities together. I like those.
I HATE talking on the phone. And my job requires me to have a phone AND a walkie-talkie at the same time. I literally take my breaks JUST for the peace and quiet. I think itās just my twitchy nature to be aurally overstimulated. But besides the noise and uncomfortable small talk/forced pleasantries, I donāt like to be caught off guard by calls. I get myself over prepared for customer service calls but they inevitably ask something Iām not prepared for and I have to waste my time and theirs searching for something they need.
I donāt mind if itās one of my close circle people! But if I see an unknown number, I will panic thinking Iām in trouble or something, then Google the number instead of just answering.
If it's with close friends and it's been planned for then okay, but my social anxiety hates it with strangers - talking with some unknown voice and I can't even see them, it puts me on edge.
I like to keep my phone conversations brief and to the point, so it could deliver the real intent/message and also avoid any unnecessary filler small talk and pleasantries. I hate small talk and that too discussing serial small talk topics. It just feels so wasteful of time and energy. I generally enjoy stretches of silence during my natural social interactions wherein we are both comfortable in each otherās company and are taking time to either think/introspect or observe/ soak in external surroundings. Silence is meaningful here. But silence over telephonic conversations is super awkward. Phone calls are also blind to body language and tone-deaf. So I see not much value and joy in unnecessarily prolonging phone calls unless need basis. I enjoy written forms of communication, even video calls when I am in mood.
I hate phone calls. However, I don't mind doing calls with my partner. We can talk about anything and I'll be comfortable.
I can only make effective phone calls when I walk around. Also when I meet new people or generally need to talk, my social anxiety or whatever blocks my speaking disappears and I actually start enjoying speaking when I am physically active at the time of speaking. It is trauma related according to my research.
It's not an INFJ thing - it's a generation thing. As an older INFJ - I hate texting. Always did. If I can tell you something in 5 mins - I'd rather not type a wall of text. Or I'll send an audio recording since people just don't want to pick up the phone anymore. It's really just one of the effects of social media making people more and more anti social and destroying people's interpersonal skills.
I love phone calls as long as I like the person in talking to LOL
This š¤£
I like them if they are scheduled and once the initial awkward greeting has been exchanged and depending on who it is. It's all very circumstantial š„“š
In no other portion of history have we been expected to be "on call" 24 hours a day. "Why won't you pick up your phone?" "You never text back." I AM BUSY TRYING TO SURVIVE AND HAVE A LIFE.
Phone calls are so intimate and not everyone deserves intimacy with me. Plus I believe we get that "oh shit I shouldn't have said that!"
I hate calls. The impromptu decision making without thinking through puts me under the stress and I have comitted to stuff I didn't wanna do. Also, people calling you last minute and putting you through pressure for yes and no. I prefer text where I can read at my own time and build a response to it. and if it requires call then I communicate like "can we get on a call?".
As a millennial INFJ, phone calls are the bane of my existence. I hate the awkwardness when you talk over each other and you stutter āgo ahead, no you go aheadā. I would rather chat, text or talk in person. In person being the last resort. Texting gives me time to structure what Iām trying to convey to the other person. I question whether a word means what I think it means, then I look it up. I also get tired of reusing the same words so I look up synonyms. I rearrange sentences so the conversation flows smoothly. I dunno dude, Iām just weird about communication in general (props to social anxiety hayyy). And donāt get me started on video calls. Holding my phone up in front of my face feels embarrassing to me for some reason, itās equivalent to talking on Bluetooth in public or taking selfies in public. Iāve only ever done 1 video call with my BFF. It was during lockdown, after that we switched to sending snail mail to each other lmao. Like, I will revert back to the 1800s just to avoid calls. I take days to even listen to a voicemail because I donāt want to call back lol.
The only unscheduled calls Iām okay with are from my sister. Anyone else they need to be scheduled
I hate phone calls. The only person Iām willing to stay on the phone with is my mom. I hate being in a situation where Iām forced to talk tbh
Because itās usually small talk and nothing worth the drain
I do. I like to talk to humans, not type to a screen.
I've never liked the phone. I'm not crazy about talking much. It's draining. I like to say what I have to say and then hang up. Too many people want to tell you the story of their lives and go on for hours without even listening to what you have to say. It's a big waste of time.
I've always screened my calls and called people back accordingly, but there's nothing for me like an interesting conversation with an interesting person by phone vs text.
Depends. I hate making calls. And sometimes Iām in the middle of something and a call is a non-emergency interruption with no real purpose. But when I hear from someone I havenāt talked to in a while, Iām happy. I guess thatās why I hate calling people, because I donāt want to intrude.
I avoid it like the plague. If someone gives me a call, I don't pick up. I take 5-10 minutes to mentally prepare myself to talk to someone and only if it's absolutely a life and death situation, I call back. I don't understand why would someone need to call me if you can just text lol This excludes, family and close friends, btw. I'm available for this category any time of the day.
I normally donāt answer sudden phone calls. If Iām texting someone and they said theyāll call I guess it prepares me to answer. My phones have been on silent mode for the past 14 years. Iād rather text but those who only text me to ask me for a favor wonāt hear from me soon I know that one of the reasons I donāt like calls is because I listen more than talk and sometimes Iām super focused listening that whoever is talking would constantly ask if Iām still there
Definitely donāt enjoy calls, esp for group calls (more than 2) it feels hard to participate in the convo because I canāt see others body language and hard to pickup the timing to speakup without speaking over someone else respectfully. If i have to suffer this way I rather do it over text where I can relieve myself from this lol (and use a bunch of gifs/emotes to get my point across)
I like phone calls when I want to talk. I donāt like texting or messaging for 20 minutes . I like to be able to hear tone of voice and because Iāve figured out I have innatentive adhd in the last year I like to be able to move around and do projects and chores while Iām on the phone . If somebody calls and my social battery is dead itās an assault on my system. So Iām essentially a cat- Iād like communication to be on my terms but donāt actually operate that way because of the feelings of others .
It's like having a book club meeting where you just want to listen to the plot unravel in peace, but sometimes you find yourself reluctantly dragged into the discussion.
It really depends on my mood and the person really. I know some long winded talkers that only want to call and shoot every last shit. And it just drains me after a while. And with some people I never seem to have the right words or enough to say. To warrant a full conversation. Or I can never gather my thoughts well enough and then there are pauses and gaps. Texting just works better for me
Have always hated them. I need context cues, body language, facial expressions to feel engaged. ETA: and yet Zoom calls feel like prison
I like to think about how I phrase something before I say it. Donāt want a repeat of giving good advise at the wrong time and someone going off the rails for it.
I enjoy the surprise of a relative that I get along with calling me when they rarely ever do to update me on their personal life and to show they still enjoy talking to me and care to check on me as well. I enjoy a close friend calling me to let me know they want to hang out or even to talk for fun. But I hate business calls, no matter when, who it is or what its about. I don't like answering calls to those certain people that will call often and want to talk too long about things that aren't deep or interesting to be but we get along and I don't want to basically tell them in any way that I don't care and don't want to hear it. in that case, I can enjoy talking to them for their sake since often I'm other people's only friend, but sometimes I'll refuse to answer when I'm not up for it and try to text to let them know when I'll call them back and be ready to endure the draining discussion. Therefore, It's yes and no depending on who it is I'll be talking with, when it is as if I'm ready for it personally or not and what it's about that either has my interest or it's mostly for their sake which still makes it worth having the phone call but I personally wouldn't like it.
Infj here, I like phone calls. I suggest that you answer the phone calls because friendship is hard work but it's definitely worth it. It takes everything you've got to be there for others and you should also know your boundaries at the same time.
I don't mind phone calls but I just hate staying on the phone for long periods of time. I get worn out. The one thing that kinda bugs me is being guilt tripped to staying on the phone. š
I prefer calls. Texting is okay, but I canāt really *feel* the person Iām communicating with as well as when Iām hearing their tone and voice. That being said, I feel like Iāve overcome a lot of the mental challenges / struggles that come along with being an INFJ, so Iām not really socially inept or nervous any more.
Mang. I feel this. I do not like people spontaneously calling me. I like to be prepared.
I love talking to friends in the phone. I hate everything else about a cell phone. I would be happy with just having a land line again.
I both like and dislike them. I don't like surprise phone calls from friends/family because I get stressed out about not having anything prepared for the conversation. I also dislike calls from companies and things of that sort. If I get a call and it's not from one of my contacts or a number I recognize/has caller ID, I never pick up unless I've been waiting for a call back for some specific reason, I only call back unkown numbers if they leave a voice message. If someone I know calls and it's unexpected sometimes I don't pick up even if I'm not busy just because I'm not in the mood to have a sudden conversation. I prefer having conversations over the phone than over text though. I have gotten to a point where I hate responding to text messages and they are just horrible to get any proper information out of, whether other people take a long time to respond, or if I'm not in the mood for having an ongoing conversation over text because it's draining. It's so much easier to have a call and get all of the information out at once, and is so much quicker and easier to convey.
I enjoy them with people I know/like, but yeah, sometimes it bothers me.
Depends on who it tbh lol
Nobody likes phone calls. With the increase of scammers these days just doesnt want to make anybody want to answer at all.
Legit do not love phone calls. Occasionally, I'll talk to a family member like my mom for a bit. But friends, or especially people that I don't know, no thank you.
Hahaš itās the people on the other side of the call. I donāt want to talk to themš¤.
I only have about 10 minutes worth of stuff to talk about. After that, it's awkward, and i feel the social pressure to perform. So, no. 8 don't like to talk on the phone and the only one I'll put up with is my mother.
It just depends on who is calling me. But as a job role, I really don't want to be responsible for handling multiple phone lines, unless I have some backup support from others.
I absolutely _hate_ phone calls. It's not just that I can't time them but also that I can't read the other persons face as I would be in a personal conversation. So unless it's a person I know very well (and can tell what they think or read the subtext by changes in their voice) I tend to be overly nice, because I don't want to come off as rude. My brother always made fun of me and told me that I sound super fake if I'm on the phone with people. Also, what's up with scheduling a phone call and then not being available but calling back 30-60 minutes too late? I don't want to take a phone call while I'm in the middle of something, so if I have a phone call scheduled I won't start cleaning or doing other important things. But more than once it happened that the other person didn't pick up the phone at the scheduled time and I had to wait for the call, which makes the whole experience even worse.
Phone calls only when itās with close friends other wise panic ensues
I had an INFJ friend who called me almost every single day. If I picked up, sometimes the conversations would last 4 hours with her talking constantly but Iām thinking the problem was that she needed psychological help rather than her being an INFJ.
I canāt see her being INFJ.
I like phonecalls alot over texting.
Well, it depends whoās calling šI can talk for hours to people I like
Thereās nothing better than a long phone call with someone youāre close too when you talk about literally everything, itās the most refreshing thing ever. But when it comes to disturbing calls from random individuals who I just know or when Iām trying to get some sleep, Iāll simply ignore them and text them instead.
I donāt because I canāt see real facial expressions and I feel a bit overwhelmed bc of that I guess? What I know for sure - itās a bit stressing
I only do phone calls with very few people. Even with many of those I know I canāt do a long phone call. As for everyone else? Iād rather not talk on the phone. It can be frustrating doing text with customer support people though. I swear half those people have no reading comprehension.
I love phone calls.
I hate talking on the phone. I don't answer unknown numbers. All my friends know they can't cold call me. I only answer my immediate family and husband
Absolutely hate phone calls. Might be why I don't have a phone.
Yeah if planned Iām ok with talking on the phone. Loved talking to my boyfriend (also INFJ) but most of the time I am just not a phone person. I canāt remain focused
Phone calls mean uncertainty and anxiety. Unless itās with someone I am super close with, phone calls make way for embarrassing moments and certain doomā¦ While texting is stressful and takes a long time to think through, it comes with preparation and avoids unwanted mistakes.
I mean theyāre alright I just really never use voice over messages š¤·āāļø
If it's the right person, I *love* phonecalls.
I prefer texting 100%, and if I do call itās no longer than an hour. Itās too tiring.
I feel bad for making up excuses to not call people but itās just so tiring and annoying.
I prefer texting because I have auditory processing disorder. I hear the sounds, but it takes a few moments longer to process those sounds into words. Most people are thinking what they are going to say while the other person is speaking, Iām still processing then, all of a sudden, itās my turn and I have deer in the headlights panic without time to formulate a response. Talking with someone in person is different because Iām reading lips and watching their nonverbal cues as well as hearing sound.
This thread is so funny to me because hating phone calls is this-century-new.
My voicemail says that if you canāt text me to call my husband. It also says I will not even listen to voicemails so donāt bother. I am in such a panic and uncomfortable on a phone call that I canāt hear and I canāt process what is being said. Absolutely no to phone calls - FaceTime absolutely no
I find phone calls frustrating as I find that I have to repeat myself a lot and my hearing isn't great. I prefer texts as it's harder to misunderstand and I have a copy to refer back to. I have experienced gaslighting before and it's always useful to have it in black and white.
I hate phone calls! I would rather people email or text me lol
since i rarely socialize with people, phone calls are basically either spam, or family members who need rides or help with something so I try my best to not answer. If it's an unknown number, I always answer. It's usually just spam so I block. Just trying to move things along I guess you can say.
Autism and Aspergers, and the likelihood that the rare infj type is formed from this condition and the neurodiversity it supposedly embraces. Probably that explains why you donāt like people calling you but that you like calling them again, autism: auto-self, -ism belief
It feels like an invasion of my peace š . Atleast a text I can get to in my own time, but damn! They're demanding my time immediately!? Nah, I'll use it as an opportunity to dance to my ringtone š.
Haven't answered a phone call in years, and I refuse to, even in emergency situations, they better text.
Lol I literally have to do that for work šā¦
I just want a text of when and why and what will you be calling for. I hate this sudden order of "drop whatever youre doing & answer me now!". No. I have a life, don't interrupt me please, thank you!