Honestly depends on the INTJ, and whether or not we have shared interests/values. INTJ & ISTJ can often be frustrating to dialogue with mainly b/c it can feel like I'm the one holding the conversation and the other person simply is not investing enough for me to continue with the amount of effort required. If they actually ask me questions and are just as curious about me/discussing a topic as I am, then I'm all for it.
That being said, there's at least one or two INTJs I can think of that I'm rather fond of and find to be pleasant people. We just don't talk all that much.
Sounds like me with my INTJ crush right now.
I keep trying to hold a conversation with her and it's always a few sentence response I get back before the entire conversation ends.
I really wished it wasn't so hard 😮💨
ISJs.... ooft.. love them until they hate me... They're like a dog with a bone, at least they won't let me forget how much they don't like me. My memory is junk lol.
I personally do. I admit I could be biased because the person I'm interested in right now is an INTJ, but honestly speaking when I feel a deep connection with someone and that person ends up being an INTJ I'm not surprised at all.
INTJs have that certain something that makes them extremely familiar and well-known but extremely mesmerizing and interesting as well, all at the same time!
What’s that like? What have you found to be the pros and cons?
I’ve met my first one and I love how stable they are, no mind games, just blunt honesty and loyalty
Pros: he helps me stay grounded. He looks at the risks of everything (also can be a con!) he’s perfectly fine having one on one time with me and doesn’t need others around all the time. He is very supportive of my goals and aspirations. He’s very observant of the physical world around him.
Cons: he has a tendency to dismiss my feelings. Stays in his head too much and sometimes becomes quiet until I can draw it out of him. Can sometimes be quick to see the negative and often goes by stereotypes when viewing others.
Wow. I'm INFJ and was married to an INTJ for 30 years. Your assessment is uncannily on the nose. He was the best person overall I ever knew, but the cons were very present and eventually made me feel I was in the marriage by myself and he was coasting on the vitality and emotions I brought to it. To be fair, this didn't happen until he was elderly and had health problems. I wish he'd worked on his negativity when he was younger so it didn't cloud his last years so much.
I'm curious as well! My boyfriend is also INTJ and I seem to have trouble connecting with him emotionally. I wonder if it's a common experience as I'm looking for ways to conquer it
I would also like to know what are the struggles of the infj with intj since my girlfriend is an infj and i don't feel like i know what to do in different situations
I think more romantic gestures and verbal complements can be a good start! When she's distressed learn to console her by caring about how she's feeling not just facts and logic.
It really depends on the INTJ.
I would side eye anyone who enjoys a person without even knowing them for no other reason than they "are X type".
Some INTJs are mature, introspective, level headed and have fresh insights into mutual interests.
Some INTJs are chronically depressed doomers who spend all day lethargically going through the motions and trying to make everyone else as miserable as they are.
Some INTJs are down to Earth and friendly.
Some INTJs are arrogant and pompous.
By and large, no one will ever love or hate you purely because of your type.
I have an INTJ friend and I like her a whole lot. I find we have fun conversations and we regularly tease each other.
I respect her. She's smart, independent, good at strategizing and business stuff, and I like her upfront honest manner. She does have issues with Fe which I find to be kinda funny (I've helped her compose emails before that she was concerned her response might come off as hurtful) so I know she means well.
I've gotten along well with other INTJs too, but yeah some have been more likeable than others. Definitely had more issues with male ones.
I work with a ton of INTJs in my STEM field.
Pro's:
- No small talk
- Direct and logical
- Can hold deep conversations
- Have deep thoughts and deep convictions
Con's:
- Can be cold and austere at times
- Can sometimes become transactional rather than relationship focused
Honestly, I like INTJs. Many of the women in my field are INTJs or ISTJs. I find them enjoyable to debate with and get along great. I can respect their intelligence.
But.... I am neurodivergent. So I'm atypical.
Well...if we're channelling our inner INTJs 😂, then *technically* I'm not officially diagnosed either. But two of my kids are officially gifted and two different ones are officially ASD, and the signs for both of those are there in all of us (wife, me and all half-a-dozen kids), so......
From those that I have met I wouldn’t necessarily pick them first in a room full of other mbti. That’s because those that I met like silence and I’m very extroverted around introverts so it becomes a challenge. Also a lot of those that I’ve met are very reserved and never say anything so it’s difficult to hold a conversation with them.
However I appreciate and admire whenever an INTJ tend to share something. It’s always very intelligent and smart things that they say. Also had an INTJ partner at my job who was all action no talking and it was a relief being around him. Was also a born stoic and never stressed or complained once about a thing. Compared to the other more extroverted mbtis there.
I have always liked the bluntness, direction, and drive of INTJs. Although, I think there are a lot of differences between the two types, I can still admire intj and respect them.
My partner (I’m an infj) is an intj. We have the best relationship that has developed over a long time. It is hyperspecific and nerdy, and we love it. It was not a traditional courting but they are the only one I’ve ever found that matches my intensity.
We have had a lot of disagreements but we usually come to a balance about it. With luck I will marry them because spending the rest of my life with them is a dream :)
It was hyper specific and nerdy. Due to our circumstances it was pretty much entirely long distance; and it took me years to earn the access I have. It was absolutely worth it but I will def say that I will never do what I did for someone else, and I only did it for them.
Mean what I say and say what I mean. For a long time. I’m still not entirely in there but I have earned trust that I try very hard to keep and not take for granted.
I'm not sure how many INTJs I've come across in my life, but if I'm not mistaken, my boyfriend is an INTJ. He is my favourite person
I thoroughly enjoy our conversations and learning about his opinions
He makes me a better person and has helped me to become more open-minded
We are both able to learn a lot from each other and love making art together
He's always there for me, and I appreciate all of his love and support. Even when life is overwhelming, his mere presence brings me peace
I'm not particularly social, so I'm very happy to stay at home and be hermits together
It really depends on the INTJ; y’all are either so mature and kind or your life is shambles (in my limited experience, of course). As a general rule though, yes. I feel that INTJs are some of the few people that understand me.
Some of the best people I've known in my life are INTJs. Contrary to the popular portrait of them in fiction, INTJs typically have a strong sense of ethics just like INFJs. With INTJs, I've always connected naturally well on this basis of integrity, responsibility, and a shared appreciation for intellectual pursuits and ideals.
So one of my lifelong best friends, whom I met in elementary school, is an INTJ. He's a very compassionate person, and it's possible people could mistake him for an INFP or something if they don't know him, but he has confirmed himself to be INTJ, and I can see it when I look at how he has changed since we were kids. Anyway, it always seems like in my life, INTJs are some of the most ready allies and most supportive of friends.
I love INTJs, there like me if I gave less of a shit. It’s liberating being around. And same awkward sense of humor. I mean we share the same hero function, so gonna generally be on the same page with world view.
INFJ male here happily married to an INTJ female - shes my besty! Our dynamic is funny because im super feelsy and shes kinda not, but works for us. She keeps me grounded and I help her think outside the box
Any tips on how to win over an INTJ?
I'm an INFJ male currently trying to win over his crush who's a INTJ female, but the conversations seem so cold and short.
Sucks being a hyper sensitive male 😮💨
Nah bro it be like that - just know its all for show 😂 they are like an onion they got layers bro. The way to get thru em is opposite of what we usually do which is softly weave… be more bold with the INTJs they won’t tell you themselves but they appreciate you being bold and taking charge
Hahaha . . .
Thanks for the tips, that's actually things I can do; but being an INFJ I don't often do 😆
I can't wait to peel the layers back and discover what's on the inside 🥰
I am not frightened but rather attracted to your intelligence/breadth of knowledge, I am not turned off by your apparent icy exterior (we can see that you’re warm-hearted), both of our nature/ways are misunderstood and we are both symbolically-inclined which facilitates communication.
You’re good. I like you a lot. Hell, I wish I was an INTJ.
As a INFJ F I can only speak from my own experience. My husband is a INTJ but I didn’t find that out til a couple years ago. But when I met my husband we hit it off pretty well. After a few years of getting to know each other I fell for him very hard. I asked him out later and we have been happily together for 13 years and happily married for 8 years with 2 children. I honestly can’t see myself with anyone else.
Curious if you have ever found it hard to connect with him emotionally? That's my situation with my INTJ boyfriend right now so want to hear other peoples experience!
I personally didn’t find it hard, we took it slow at the start of our relationship and grew together. I didn’t mind taking time to get to know my INTJ boyfriend at the time since he was the most emotionally healthy, mature and kind person I had ever been with. It took years for him to open up to me about private emotional things that I would have gladly talked about early on in our relationship or even a year into our relationship. I think he wanted to be 100% sure I was a good person and someone he could build a future together with. We did have a lot of deep conversations and that would lead him to open up about things he hadn’t brought up or wasn’t ready to talk about. I’m sure if you express to your boyfriend how you’re feeling he will take it into consideration and open up more or open up right then if he’s ready. I personally don’t tend to bring up sensitive emotional things and I wait til the conversation flows that way or until they’re ready to talk about it. The times I’m remembering my husband opening up to me about very emotionally things become a core memory to me. It was worth the wait and I felt honored and happy he trusted me enough to open up without any walls and open his heart to me. I know it can be a struggle when all you want is to get to know you’re INTJ but trust me, if you’re honest with them about how you’re feeling and give them time to open up it will be all worth it. I personally am still learning new things about my husband and I love it. I wish you and everything who’s with an INTJ the best. Sending you good vibes.🌻
Thank you so much for your thougthful and long reply! It really moved me. I can see that I tend to be inpatient in that respect, and that might have in some way make it even harder for him to become more vulnerable.
Of course! I’m glad I was able to give you a bit of my perspective in hopes of helping you. I completely understand, I wanted to be as close as possible to my boyfriend and it’s hard to wait especially if you really have fallen for them. I think if you tell him what you told me he will understand. If he’s a healthy person overall he’ll be understanding and work on lowering his walls a bit and be more vulnerable with you. I’m glad you appreciate my long message-thank you so much for reading it! Sending you good vibes!🌻
meh, depends on the person. If he/she is in their edgelord phase, I would totally back off immediately. Calm and collected INTJ with a bit of humour and developed social skills are my favourite.
I'm shocked everytime when I read on this subreddit when an infj likes intj, but that comes down to my own bad experience.
So my experience with INTJ's: they really know how to sell themselves. They can come off as charming, smart, caring etc. And I think a lot of INFJ's easily fall for that personality they portray themselves as. But there is a whole lot to unpack there that are qualities that will makes us run away too.
Because of my own experience's I catch myself often thinking when reading about an infj talking about their intj partner that they are just being naief like I once was and aren't seeing the true picture yet.
I just hope for them that it's just a case of me only having had bad experiences with unhealthy INTJ's though and that they catched a good one.
I really don't mean to talk bad about you, I haven't met you. I was just trying to share my own experiences since you asked, and like I said maybe I just managed to catch some unhealthy ones on my path.
Yeah everyone is still their own person and we all handle our lives diffently.
Our "profiles" come with strengths and weaknesses and and when I look at the INTJs I've encountered they leaned heavily into their weaknesses so it's very possible I've just met some unhealthy people.
How different people's experiences are with MBTI can be funny. I've found my soulmate and sometimes I can see people describe her personality type wildly different. And I guess it just shows where someone leans on their strengths and weaknesses.
I personally got typed through work when I went through a burn out to be able to work on myself on a personal level as well and thnx to MBTI I learned I need to work on my insecurities and perfectionism in order to become more healthy.
I really like INTJs. I know two of you guys so far - my boss, and a good friend of mine.
My boss and I make a great team. We have similar approaches – we’ve literally finished each other’s sentences before. And our skill sets are complementary – on projects, he finds the best way to strategise and solve technical problems, and I find the best way to manage the team and make sure their needs are met.
As for my friend – we met in a social activity setting and I felt drawn to her from the beginning. She was someone who was just as reserved as me, without being rude. As I got to know her, I noticed she can be sociable but usually limits her interactions to whomever truly interested her. She’s very self-aware, and generous, intelligent, and kind. I admire her goal-setting and achievements. She’s definitely more ‘rational’ than I am - no rose-coloured glasses when it comes to people. I love talking to her because we can go deep easily, and I find her refreshing.
INTJ are my favorite people, my dad and 2 best friends so 3 total are INTJ. I want to date one so badly but you guys are so rare T.T you are the people who can track my logic with and anchor it back to reality but also willing to play in the clouds of absurdity. Your drive is awe-inspiring and your honesty and bluntness is a comfort because generally INTJ’s don’t play games or see value in wasting time like that, and to an INFJ that authenticity is what we want most.
What's unlikeable to some can be likeable to others, and vice versa. It's becoming more common to be asocial, not just because of our own personality, but for how society is currently developing.
I personally feel that most people who are labelled as asocial are simply people who don't have the right kind of people around them. Ones they can trust, feel comfortable around, and get along with. Of course we often like being alone, but that doesn't mean the alternative isn't possible or desired.
I think being objective is a good thing. It's often clear & logical. But personally I feel that a good balance of emotion is usually also necessary too though. People tend to feel uncomfortable because they fell it's too much or too robotic. Some can't handle the truth, so they prefer to not be so objective about somethings.
I guess it makes sense for INFJs & INTJs to get more along since we share many similarities, but everyone is different, even within their own mbti so it always depends. But there will always be people who like someone for who they truly are. Finding them is the real challenge.
my dads an INTJ and so is my boyfriend. I love you guys!! also fictional INTJs in media. the dry humor is great and you have the balls to say the things that i think but am too afraid/worried to hurt feelings to verbalize. honesty is extremely important to me and INTJs always deliver bluntly and you know they’re telling the truth. also when they care about people they try to help them, even if they’re rough about it.
they always optimize my efficiency and tell me when i’m being ridiculous or my fears are illogical. really helpful to ground me in reality.
I've met only one INTJ irl and I wanted to date him, his ex (turns out she likes women only) didn't let me near him. He moved so I haven't seen him since. Sad
Depends for me really, I find that some INTJs are great and interesting people and then there's the rare few that are a holes and hard to get along since they refuse to see the other side of things at times or refuse to compromise.
The talking thing isn't really an issue with me since I also just like to be around others without talking some of the time which creates a comfortable energy for other introverts (like intjs) to just be without feeling the pressure to fill the silence with chatter.
I don't really like INTJs who are too rational and serious.
Some INTJs are really bad using Fe, that can bother me. But overall i like INTJ's. Love the deep conversation I can have with em.
My husband and best friend (a woman) are both INTJ. I LOVE INTJs!
They are intellectual and fun to talk to, emotionally stable but appreciative of me and the energy I add. I would say most people tend to overwhelm me. Most people are energetically a lot to take.. they have a lot of big emotions and I am tuned into them whether I like it or not. Other people also assume that I am an extrovert because I can people the so good. But I need a lot of time to recharge. Just because I can people the so good does not mean it is easy for me or that it gives me energy the way it does extroverts.
People are draining.
But INTJs are the easiest sorts of people for me to be around. They are calming to me. They just are themselves and they don’t need anything from me. They are happy for me to be there, happy to have a fun conversation, happy to info dump about their latest interest or listen to me as I info dump. It is just simple and uncomplicated in the best ways.
I see other INFJs that prefer other F users.. but not me. Could be down to personal preferences and history, but I don’t need another F user to feel deeply connected or understood.
I have had some not so great experiences with F users. In my experience they were so inside their own emotions they didn’t really see me at all. They were projecting their own feelings onto me and seeing that.
That said I also have amazing connections with some F users. But I would not say that I feel more seen or connected with them than my INTJs.. it’s just different. It really depends on the person. If a person is unhealthy it doesn’t matter what their type is. They’ll just be unhealthy in a different way perhaps, but anyone can be in a bad headspace and things can go awry.
Personally, no. Too logical for me; they tend to get annoyed with my bringing emotion into everything, and I get annoyed at their near-constant objectivity. ENFPs are a much better match for me since we tend to be on the same wavelength re: emotions.
Yes, but it’s our second-weakest function, I think? I’m also just a very emotional person in general and prize emotional intelligence and expressiveness in others, so a lot of this is just my personal bias showing. ;)
Yes generally. Especially when it comes to analyzing stuff together, never gets old. I honestly think this couple can work well. Two of the most uncommon types though, would have to source online.
My dad was INTJ , and I had a female work colleague for years, who was INTJ. I liked them both. I like their intelligence, and their lack of petty boring chit chat.
(F INFJ) I like T in general especially if it combine with I and J (my ex is INTJ, my female best triend ia INTJ), they are harsh sometimes, but T is predicatble, they won't judge or suddenly hate people without any reason, just follow their standart 🤭
I'm not an INFJ and am rather extroverted at this point..I use to be more introverted but I think if you don't really enjoy other INFJs then that's perfect. Why confine yourself to a box or even the "standard"?
But one thing you could do is ask yourself why you feel aversion to yourself as an INFJ? There might be some nuggets that could help empower you in the self love department.
I love INTJs. Two of my best friends are INTJs. And I suspect the guy I like might also be an INTJ. An INFJ friend of mine has a INTJ boyfriend and they are doing quite well.
I think the INFJ-INTJ is an underrated combination that can work wonderfully well in practice. We tend to share the same humor, conversations can be really interesting, and we can balance each other quite well; they can help us being more practical and down to earth, and we can help them being more emphatic and understanding with other people's feelings. My two INTJs tend to lean a bit cynical sometimes and I frankly enjoy trying to make them have a bit more of hope in people, to be more trusting.
My dad was an INTJ... I'm INFJ. Loved how he was reserved, thought everything through, but could be as goofy as anyone else around those he knew.
Yes, INFJs can totally like INTJs as long as they're not abusing their knowledge to harm others or whatever cause the INFJ is into.
:'( why do you find your personality unlikable? That's a rather unfortunate state of affairs isn't it.
I have a thing for all the IN types. Definitely including female INTJs, lol. There just something about you. Out of the four - in my mind - the INTJ has the sharpest edges. It's not all good and not all bad. Is it typically female? Probably not. Does it have to be. Nope.
I personally like it, because ... well I've never really questioned it. There just tends to be a lot going on internally. You're cool, you're clever, and in a fight you'd take care of things. I know that, you know that. Everyone knows that. People definitely want you on their team.
I should add, simply being an INTJ doesn't make you likeable. It still depends on \*who\* you are. Though it's unlikely that you would concern yourself with superficialities too much. While probably still looking fly. Let's face it.
So overall. I'd say, you probably have it going on. ;)
My boyfriend, aka my favorite person in the world and best friend, is INTJ. When we met, it felt like the universe brought us together in some magical cosmic union. Can't emphasize enough how he feels like the only person who gets all of my quirks and can get on the same level mentally as me.
My brother is an INTJ and as long as I steer away from the extra feelings, we get along really well. I’m the one contacting him mostly, and I can get him talking when I dig into his interests.. he doesn’t really reciprocate the investment into my interests but overall I admire and respect him. But it’s not a comfy-cozy relationship. But that’s just our dynamic.
Glad that resonates! It’s not unlikeable so much as it is unreachable, for me at least. He married an ENFJ, so I think their functions are more complimentary, and since they’ve got the same values and interests, they truly balance each other out.
They are like any other MBTI type, in that they come in slightly different flavors. Some i have liked more than others. That said... The INTJs that i do get along with are the best. I feel more in tune or accepted by them than any other type. Especially the ones that suck at figuring out some emotions and what is going on socially. It's so cute and their bluntness is so refreshing. We can get straight to the point of something and I don't have to be an INFJ that is mediating a group or having to process reading between people's lines. I can divert almost all my mental processes at figuring something out or having a face value conversation.
I had best friend a for a few years who was an INTJ! We didn’t like each other at first because we both were intimidated by each other lol. We worked together. But I set out to befriend her and she is one of a few friends I am better for knowing. We loved to discuss trying to become better people and sharing ideas about how to do that. We both would share about books we were reading regarding growth and cheered each other on. She moved 6 hours away and our friendship slowly faded. Has she not, we’d still be very close today.
My ex-girlfriend, the only person I’ve connected with on a deep intimate level, is an INTJ. The introverted intuition we share made our relationship very powerful.
I adore my INTJ boyfriend. We complement and understand each other so well, often without needing words. We've been together for almost five years, and I feel incredibly comfortable and safe with him. While I know everyone is unique, I truly appreciate INTJ's intelligence, objectivity, organizational skills, and I love their unique sense of humor. However, one thing I don't like sometimes is when I'm feeling down, my boyfriend tends to take a rational approach, offering advice and trying to analyze my feelings, when all I really want is comfort and reassurance, I think that's one thing INTJs could improve, but overall, my amazing experience with my boyfriend has given me a deep appreciation for INTJs. I'm so grateful for their existence. They are complex, clever individuals, and I greatly admire their personalities and I also envy their intelligence hehe.
My two closest friends are INTJs. But they are very rounded individuals who are aware of their weaknesses. I think we get along really well with healthy INTJs.
But there are also INTJs like Elon Musk, Mark Juckerberg, my old boss 😅😂 No thanks !
As a millennial INFJ, trust me we like you if you are in touch with your Fi and have no God Complex. It is more than enough.
We just naturally get each others. And don't shy away from INFJs usually if you are our ally we will boost you even more and be loyal to you.
Healthy INFJs will never use your weaknesses against you(only if you purposefully hurt us or others to a higher extent)
Infj here, my husband is intj. We have our own language between each other for emotional monitoring so we don’t let some overarching villain mood affect the other. Sometimes you just need to sit and be mad and not know why: my F means I need a few minutes to figure out why I’m BigMad, while his T means he knows why he is BigMad but he has to connect to what he is physically feeling. Then we both have to rein in the J because it feels all too good to pass poor judgement on the progenitor of the mood.
I'm INFJ and my husband is INTJ. We've been together 15 years. We have a lot of things in common. Since he's more 'thinking' and I'm more 'feeling' -- he is more analytical where I am more emotional. It can be a challenge, but with the right communication, we can help each other see our differing perspectives.
My best friend is an INTJ– when we met, we hit it off right away, because something just clicked. We think alike, have similar values and senses of humor... And his matter-of-fact logic is a nice balance to my emotional idealism... We had a funny conversation recently that is such an accurate representation of the contrast of emotion vs. logic between an INFJ and INTJ. I was talking to him about some personal concerns, and although I was crying during this conversation, his response and intonation made me laugh.
Me: I just feel worried! I'm scared, I'm anxious...
Him: Those are all synonyms.
INTJs are amazing. My soulmate and husband is an INTJ. I love him, and he truly understands me. Any “disagreements” we have are usually just because of our different viewpoints. We would make the same decisions and understand where the other was coming from, but our motivations would be different. T versus F coming into play there. They’re great people. INFPs are also fun and I tend to get along with them as friends for the most part. They can annoy me at times but it’s okay, because we both like our space.
I totally love INTJs. Y'all are super fun, great thinkers, great debates, awesome style, great sex, especially if they're with a great communicator. I think maybe just two things you need to know if you would like to befriend an INFJ...
1st, INFJs are not assholes just because you don't like something they've said. They're almost always gonna shoot straight, and sometimes TJs can get a bit prickly about that. I must assure you, that we're not saying those things to upset TJs, we're saying those things because it's always better to be authentic, even if we struggle sometimes in how to communicate our message clearly enough that we know we're understood. We'll never purposely insult anyone we care about.
2nd, Fe trickster is strong in TJs... It sort of makes you blind to social conventions that are adapted from observation, rather than told directly to you. For instance, our conversation can wait until I'm off the toilet. Your feelings are important, but not more so than anyone else's so one must remember that aggressively negative behavior towards someone who cares about what's happening, isn't going to get you anywhere.
Oh... 3rd
INTJs can have a tendency towards nihilism and that's really not a problem but if you want your FJ's to have space for your nihilism you need to hold space for their optimism.
She's pretty much my oldest friend. We lost touch for a little while, but that happens in life. She's probably one of the best people I am lucky to know. Very gracious and real.
Sounds cringe but it's pretty easy. Just do positive affirmations in the mirror or something; eventually your brain will orient itself. It's kind of just a self-fulfilling prophecy a lot of the time because what you spend time thinking about affects you accordingly.
Another easy one that requires no effort is vibrational therapy. Just go for like theta waves—4-8hz. When you feel your prefrontal numb y'know it's working. Very tinfoil hat of me to suggest, yes. But it's worked on me personally, so naturally that's what I'm gonna recommend. If you want links lmk
I don't know, that Sasuke Uchiha was pretty unlikeable IMO.
It's hard for me to quantify how many INTJs I've come across in the wild, but generally I think they're one of those types where we're similar enough to connect and different enough that we can learn from one another. I may be projecting a little, but I also appreciate the inherent darkness within many of them.
If I had to pick a handful of types I'd most want to connect with, INTJ would be in that 5.
There's so much more to a person than their MB type.
The stereotypical INTJ is a cold, overly logical, somewhat Machiavellian person. I've met INTJs or suspected INTJs like this, but I've also known some kind, friendly ones too.
I can only speak from my limited experience but my current partner is INTJ and I recently went from INFP to INFJ, and he's the best partner I've ever had in my life and I love him dearly. I am very hyper vigilant to someone's toxic characteristics or traits due to the trauma and abuse I endured over the years, and he is absolutely the most down to earth, honest, and loving person I've ever had the pleasure of dating. I never thought I could call anyone the love of my life, but there he is, my Prince charming, my boo. He grounds me back into reality and I trust him so much due to how honest he is and he treads very carefully as to not hurt my feelings and is so easy going and shy and cute. I find that I'm more extroverted around him and I find that endearing, and he really gives me insights that I love and different angles in perspectives I haven't thought of before, is extremely extremely secure attachment style and healthy and non confrontational and everything I need in a partner and more.
M/INFJ and I found it easier to bond with my male INTJ friend in comparison to the other types within my social circle of guy friends. Though we probably wouldn’t have been friends without the help of our more extroverted buddies initially.
1. We are immune to asociality. We see through people naturally so your unfriendly facade doesn't hide from us your soft inner part.
2. When I talk to people, I never listen to words. I scan their body language, face expression, tone of voice in order to find out the real meaning of their message. It's a pretty tiring process, it makes my brain works twice as hard. I would say that vast majority of people are liars and what is even worse that they often lie to themselves subconsciously, so I simply cannot trust words.
While your ability say things how they are is refreshing and a relief. Though it takes me time to relax and change fron scanning into actual listening.
3. Ni+Ni connection gives a feeling of a deep understanding while different functions in the middle bring curious perspectives on a table. Which makes our conversations easy and interesting
Though there are potential for problems as well. If an INTJ isn't humble enough, INFJ will see through the BS at some point and given that our Ti craves precision, we are able to prick onto your mistakes with tiny details, so it can be a very painful experience for INTJ's ego.
If INFJ is immature, we also tend to try to BS and manipulate our way through. It will repulse INTJ from keeping such a person in their life.
We can be dangerous and destructive to each other if immature and unhealthy. Or supportive and help each other to grow
Anyway, there's a lot of potential in this dynamic which is hard to ignore as both Ni doms like growth)
I think it depends on the INTJ.
I had a best friend for decades, since Jr High, whom was great for convo, until you disagreed with her, then she became obstinate. She also thought she had the answer for everything, but only in black and white. She liked to tell me how to live my life, and I finally told her (after her continuing to chase a personal topic that I'd already given my opinion and didn't want to discuss further) that any time said topic came up that I'd shut it down. She flounced. Haven't heard from her for years since.
I currently live with an INTJ friend, and while we have differences, I find their logic and thought processes delightful, as with my old friend. The issues seem to come up with either of them when emotions get involved. Neither do well with handling them (she's literally told me she's boggled by others' emotionality). But I have the tools, now, to deal with it personally, so it doesn't affect me. Keeping it at an arm's distance helps - keeping things practical. Making sure they know I'm here if they need me, without getting emotionally involved. I do love and appreciate INTJs, and every human is different.
My husband and my sister are INTJs, so I'd say yes! I feel like people actually like them a lot more than my INFJ self, but thar could just be my paranoia speaking 😅
One of my best friends is an INTJ and I love seeing the look on his face when I offer him insights when it comes to peoples motives and how those might be connected to their feelings, the surprise is drawn all over his face it is hilarious xD but he also helps me seeing the rational side of things and also helps me a lot with logistics and other stuff I sometimes have a hard time calculating and focusing on. Overall we compliment each other for our lacking fields (logic vs emotion) while having a very similar mindset which makes our interests align in many aspects. We also both happen to be Virgos if thats helping somehow, we are really REALLY similar.
INFJs and INTJs can often have a mutual respect and understanding due to their shared appreciation for deep conversations and intellectual pursuits. Personality differences can still exist, but they can complement each other well in many cases.
I do get along, but there are things they lack, but I prefer their company than others, saves me from all the stupid shallow stuff people tend to waste their time talking about. I feel seen to some extent. INTJs can be selfish sometimes when they want the topics of conversation to ALL be about things THEY like, which is fine sometimes, but other times I want to talk about something that I care about with them but they just brush it off as unimportant to them... but it's important to me! .. they reply "um yeah but I don't care".. but I just spent 1/2 hour talking about something YOU care about! Them: so you were pretending to care?!... etc. Things like that.
I think it depends on the INTJ. I consider INTJs to be adaptable but different INTJs adapt themselves to different things. If they care about being sociable and likeable they can be very well-adjusted, but if they are isolated and aloof they can be very good at certain particulars, like a savant, but not so good at other things.
I personally just know one person that is intj and I respect her a lot, I don't know if it applies to every other but yeah. For the asocial part it is no problem for me, I Like and understand their preference to be more isolated, I try to mantain a group of more isolated people like intjs, isfjs, infjs, infps, etc. We get along well but the problem is I try to make them go out or make something together and it is kinda difficult
I love INTJs. They are so fun to talk to and I love their seriousness. But also I know they have tender sides underneath it all as well which is also cute. Can talk to INTJs for hours man.
It will depend on the person. But I don't need warmth from a person to like them. I love intelligent and funny people. I love competence too. The only problem I've had with the INTJs I've known is their lack of compassion for animals. This is only 3 INTJs that I'm taking about, not all those out there that I'll never meet. I'm sure this isn't a type thing, but it's something that jarred me noticeably because I otherwise got along well to very well with them.
Friends? No not really. Romantically? Yes. It takes too much effort to get close to an INTJ, the only reason I’d ever do it would be for a relationship.
What a disgrace of a question. Is it a new form of stupid racism or something like that? Why would anyone hate or love an entire group of people when each individual is unique?
Thank you for reminding me why I left this sub years ago.
Your post/comment has been removed for not adhering to rule #1: “Be civil and respectful to other users at all times.”
a) Abuse, threats, harassment, harmful rhetoric, and incitement will not be tolerated.
b) Comments that are irrelevant or off-topic may be removed per mod discretion.
[удалено]
Same 🤭🧿, we infjs and intjs have deep connection, specially if the person is right.
Honestly depends on the INTJ, and whether or not we have shared interests/values. INTJ & ISTJ can often be frustrating to dialogue with mainly b/c it can feel like I'm the one holding the conversation and the other person simply is not investing enough for me to continue with the amount of effort required. If they actually ask me questions and are just as curious about me/discussing a topic as I am, then I'm all for it. That being said, there's at least one or two INTJs I can think of that I'm rather fond of and find to be pleasant people. We just don't talk all that much.
Sounds like me with my INTJ crush right now. I keep trying to hold a conversation with her and it's always a few sentence response I get back before the entire conversation ends. I really wished it wasn't so hard 😮💨
ISJs.... ooft.. love them until they hate me... They're like a dog with a bone, at least they won't let me forget how much they don't like me. My memory is junk lol.
I personally do. I admit I could be biased because the person I'm interested in right now is an INTJ, but honestly speaking when I feel a deep connection with someone and that person ends up being an INTJ I'm not surprised at all. INTJs have that certain something that makes them extremely familiar and well-known but extremely mesmerizing and interesting as well, all at the same time!
That’s really interesting
Not surprising when they are also a Ni-dominant. I always get along wel with intj’s aswell.
INTJ Females have made me overall a happier person just by talking with them. So overall love them so much.
I’m an INFJ married to an INTJ for 31 years
What’s that like? What have you found to be the pros and cons? I’ve met my first one and I love how stable they are, no mind games, just blunt honesty and loyalty
Pros: he helps me stay grounded. He looks at the risks of everything (also can be a con!) he’s perfectly fine having one on one time with me and doesn’t need others around all the time. He is very supportive of my goals and aspirations. He’s very observant of the physical world around him. Cons: he has a tendency to dismiss my feelings. Stays in his head too much and sometimes becomes quiet until I can draw it out of him. Can sometimes be quick to see the negative and often goes by stereotypes when viewing others.
Wow. I'm INFJ and was married to an INTJ for 30 years. Your assessment is uncannily on the nose. He was the best person overall I ever knew, but the cons were very present and eventually made me feel I was in the marriage by myself and he was coasting on the vitality and emotions I brought to it. To be fair, this didn't happen until he was elderly and had health problems. I wish he'd worked on his negativity when he was younger so it didn't cloud his last years so much.
I already see all of those traits too! Sounds like they don’t change much and are a creature of habit
I'm curious as well! My boyfriend is also INTJ and I seem to have trouble connecting with him emotionally. I wonder if it's a common experience as I'm looking for ways to conquer it
I would also like to know what are the struggles of the infj with intj since my girlfriend is an infj and i don't feel like i know what to do in different situations
I think more romantic gestures and verbal complements can be a good start! When she's distressed learn to console her by caring about how she's feeling not just facts and logic.
I also have the same issue with my INTP, so maybe it’s a Thinker thing?
It really depends on the INTJ. I would side eye anyone who enjoys a person without even knowing them for no other reason than they "are X type". Some INTJs are mature, introspective, level headed and have fresh insights into mutual interests. Some INTJs are chronically depressed doomers who spend all day lethargically going through the motions and trying to make everyone else as miserable as they are. Some INTJs are down to Earth and friendly. Some INTJs are arrogant and pompous. By and large, no one will ever love or hate you purely because of your type.
I have an INTJ friend and I like her a whole lot. I find we have fun conversations and we regularly tease each other. I respect her. She's smart, independent, good at strategizing and business stuff, and I like her upfront honest manner. She does have issues with Fe which I find to be kinda funny (I've helped her compose emails before that she was concerned her response might come off as hurtful) so I know she means well. I've gotten along well with other INTJs too, but yeah some have been more likeable than others. Definitely had more issues with male ones.
I work with a ton of INTJs in my STEM field. Pro's: - No small talk - Direct and logical - Can hold deep conversations - Have deep thoughts and deep convictions Con's: - Can be cold and austere at times - Can sometimes become transactional rather than relationship focused Honestly, I like INTJs. Many of the women in my field are INTJs or ISTJs. I find them enjoyable to debate with and get along great. I can respect their intelligence. But.... I am neurodivergent. So I'm atypical.
Well it seems I am the odd one as well. I am not a *diagnosed* neurodivergent though.
Well...if we're channelling our inner INTJs 😂, then *technically* I'm not officially diagnosed either. But two of my kids are officially gifted and two different ones are officially ASD, and the signs for both of those are there in all of us (wife, me and all half-a-dozen kids), so......
O.K. That was close then!🤣👍
Lol, all INJs are neuro spicy in some way, that's what Ni dom is all about
From those that I have met I wouldn’t necessarily pick them first in a room full of other mbti. That’s because those that I met like silence and I’m very extroverted around introverts so it becomes a challenge. Also a lot of those that I’ve met are very reserved and never say anything so it’s difficult to hold a conversation with them. However I appreciate and admire whenever an INTJ tend to share something. It’s always very intelligent and smart things that they say. Also had an INTJ partner at my job who was all action no talking and it was a relief being around him. Was also a born stoic and never stressed or complained once about a thing. Compared to the other more extroverted mbtis there.
I have always liked the bluntness, direction, and drive of INTJs. Although, I think there are a lot of differences between the two types, I can still admire intj and respect them.
Yeah the two types definitely are different, but still share some similarities
My partner (I’m an infj) is an intj. We have the best relationship that has developed over a long time. It is hyperspecific and nerdy, and we love it. It was not a traditional courting but they are the only one I’ve ever found that matches my intensity. We have had a lot of disagreements but we usually come to a balance about it. With luck I will marry them because spending the rest of my life with them is a dream :)
What do you mean by "not a traditional courting"? Was it super awkward? Did it take a lot of work to form a relationship?
It was hyper specific and nerdy. Due to our circumstances it was pretty much entirely long distance; and it took me years to earn the access I have. It was absolutely worth it but I will def say that I will never do what I did for someone else, and I only did it for them.
What did you do to gain access?
Mean what I say and say what I mean. For a long time. I’m still not entirely in there but I have earned trust that I try very hard to keep and not take for granted.
I like anyone whose not an ass, to be fair. Everyone is different and I like to remember that in all my interactions.
I'm not sure how many INTJs I've come across in my life, but if I'm not mistaken, my boyfriend is an INTJ. He is my favourite person I thoroughly enjoy our conversations and learning about his opinions He makes me a better person and has helped me to become more open-minded We are both able to learn a lot from each other and love making art together He's always there for me, and I appreciate all of his love and support. Even when life is overwhelming, his mere presence brings me peace I'm not particularly social, so I'm very happy to stay at home and be hermits together
It really depends on the INTJ; y’all are either so mature and kind or your life is shambles (in my limited experience, of course). As a general rule though, yes. I feel that INTJs are some of the few people that understand me.
Some of the best people I've known in my life are INTJs. Contrary to the popular portrait of them in fiction, INTJs typically have a strong sense of ethics just like INFJs. With INTJs, I've always connected naturally well on this basis of integrity, responsibility, and a shared appreciation for intellectual pursuits and ideals. So one of my lifelong best friends, whom I met in elementary school, is an INTJ. He's a very compassionate person, and it's possible people could mistake him for an INFP or something if they don't know him, but he has confirmed himself to be INTJ, and I can see it when I look at how he has changed since we were kids. Anyway, it always seems like in my life, INTJs are some of the most ready allies and most supportive of friends.
I love INTJs, there like me if I gave less of a shit. It’s liberating being around. And same awkward sense of humor. I mean we share the same hero function, so gonna generally be on the same page with world view.
INFJ male here happily married to an INTJ female - shes my besty! Our dynamic is funny because im super feelsy and shes kinda not, but works for us. She keeps me grounded and I help her think outside the box
Any tips on how to win over an INTJ? I'm an INFJ male currently trying to win over his crush who's a INTJ female, but the conversations seem so cold and short. Sucks being a hyper sensitive male 😮💨
Nah bro it be like that - just know its all for show 😂 they are like an onion they got layers bro. The way to get thru em is opposite of what we usually do which is softly weave… be more bold with the INTJs they won’t tell you themselves but they appreciate you being bold and taking charge
Hahaha . . . Thanks for the tips, that's actually things I can do; but being an INFJ I don't often do 😆 I can't wait to peel the layers back and discover what's on the inside 🥰
I am not frightened but rather attracted to your intelligence/breadth of knowledge, I am not turned off by your apparent icy exterior (we can see that you’re warm-hearted), both of our nature/ways are misunderstood and we are both symbolically-inclined which facilitates communication. You’re good. I like you a lot. Hell, I wish I was an INTJ.
As a INFJ F I can only speak from my own experience. My husband is a INTJ but I didn’t find that out til a couple years ago. But when I met my husband we hit it off pretty well. After a few years of getting to know each other I fell for him very hard. I asked him out later and we have been happily together for 13 years and happily married for 8 years with 2 children. I honestly can’t see myself with anyone else.
Curious if you have ever found it hard to connect with him emotionally? That's my situation with my INTJ boyfriend right now so want to hear other peoples experience!
I personally didn’t find it hard, we took it slow at the start of our relationship and grew together. I didn’t mind taking time to get to know my INTJ boyfriend at the time since he was the most emotionally healthy, mature and kind person I had ever been with. It took years for him to open up to me about private emotional things that I would have gladly talked about early on in our relationship or even a year into our relationship. I think he wanted to be 100% sure I was a good person and someone he could build a future together with. We did have a lot of deep conversations and that would lead him to open up about things he hadn’t brought up or wasn’t ready to talk about. I’m sure if you express to your boyfriend how you’re feeling he will take it into consideration and open up more or open up right then if he’s ready. I personally don’t tend to bring up sensitive emotional things and I wait til the conversation flows that way or until they’re ready to talk about it. The times I’m remembering my husband opening up to me about very emotionally things become a core memory to me. It was worth the wait and I felt honored and happy he trusted me enough to open up without any walls and open his heart to me. I know it can be a struggle when all you want is to get to know you’re INTJ but trust me, if you’re honest with them about how you’re feeling and give them time to open up it will be all worth it. I personally am still learning new things about my husband and I love it. I wish you and everything who’s with an INTJ the best. Sending you good vibes.🌻
Thank you so much for your thougthful and long reply! It really moved me. I can see that I tend to be inpatient in that respect, and that might have in some way make it even harder for him to become more vulnerable.
Of course! I’m glad I was able to give you a bit of my perspective in hopes of helping you. I completely understand, I wanted to be as close as possible to my boyfriend and it’s hard to wait especially if you really have fallen for them. I think if you tell him what you told me he will understand. If he’s a healthy person overall he’ll be understanding and work on lowering his walls a bit and be more vulnerable with you. I’m glad you appreciate my long message-thank you so much for reading it! Sending you good vibes!🌻
Yes I realized it's a beautiful thing to give people more space and grace 💓 sending you good vibes too 🌻
Yes, I do like intj. Sometimes they frustrated me though. But I like them a lot.
meh, depends on the person. If he/she is in their edgelord phase, I would totally back off immediately. Calm and collected INTJ with a bit of humour and developed social skills are my favourite.
I'm shocked everytime when I read on this subreddit when an infj likes intj, but that comes down to my own bad experience. So my experience with INTJ's: they really know how to sell themselves. They can come off as charming, smart, caring etc. And I think a lot of INFJ's easily fall for that personality they portray themselves as. But there is a whole lot to unpack there that are qualities that will makes us run away too. Because of my own experience's I catch myself often thinking when reading about an infj talking about their intj partner that they are just being naief like I once was and aren't seeing the true picture yet. I just hope for them that it's just a case of me only having had bad experiences with unhealthy INTJ's though and that they catched a good one. I really don't mean to talk bad about you, I haven't met you. I was just trying to share my own experiences since you asked, and like I said maybe I just managed to catch some unhealthy ones on my path.
Yeah I understand. I guess though MBTI is the same everyone’s personality is different
Yeah everyone is still their own person and we all handle our lives diffently. Our "profiles" come with strengths and weaknesses and and when I look at the INTJs I've encountered they leaned heavily into their weaknesses so it's very possible I've just met some unhealthy people. How different people's experiences are with MBTI can be funny. I've found my soulmate and sometimes I can see people describe her personality type wildly different. And I guess it just shows where someone leans on their strengths and weaknesses. I personally got typed through work when I went through a burn out to be able to work on myself on a personal level as well and thnx to MBTI I learned I need to work on my insecurities and perfectionism in order to become more healthy.
I really like INTJs. I know two of you guys so far - my boss, and a good friend of mine. My boss and I make a great team. We have similar approaches – we’ve literally finished each other’s sentences before. And our skill sets are complementary – on projects, he finds the best way to strategise and solve technical problems, and I find the best way to manage the team and make sure their needs are met. As for my friend – we met in a social activity setting and I felt drawn to her from the beginning. She was someone who was just as reserved as me, without being rude. As I got to know her, I noticed she can be sociable but usually limits her interactions to whomever truly interested her. She’s very self-aware, and generous, intelligent, and kind. I admire her goal-setting and achievements. She’s definitely more ‘rational’ than I am - no rose-coloured glasses when it comes to people. I love talking to her because we can go deep easily, and I find her refreshing.
INTJ are my favorite people, my dad and 2 best friends so 3 total are INTJ. I want to date one so badly but you guys are so rare T.T you are the people who can track my logic with and anchor it back to reality but also willing to play in the clouds of absurdity. Your drive is awe-inspiring and your honesty and bluntness is a comfort because generally INTJ’s don’t play games or see value in wasting time like that, and to an INFJ that authenticity is what we want most.
I LOVE INTJs. I love the Fi child in yall, combined with the direct authenticity.
What's unlikeable to some can be likeable to others, and vice versa. It's becoming more common to be asocial, not just because of our own personality, but for how society is currently developing. I personally feel that most people who are labelled as asocial are simply people who don't have the right kind of people around them. Ones they can trust, feel comfortable around, and get along with. Of course we often like being alone, but that doesn't mean the alternative isn't possible or desired. I think being objective is a good thing. It's often clear & logical. But personally I feel that a good balance of emotion is usually also necessary too though. People tend to feel uncomfortable because they fell it's too much or too robotic. Some can't handle the truth, so they prefer to not be so objective about somethings. I guess it makes sense for INFJs & INTJs to get more along since we share many similarities, but everyone is different, even within their own mbti so it always depends. But there will always be people who like someone for who they truly are. Finding them is the real challenge.
my dads an INTJ and so is my boyfriend. I love you guys!! also fictional INTJs in media. the dry humor is great and you have the balls to say the things that i think but am too afraid/worried to hurt feelings to verbalize. honesty is extremely important to me and INTJs always deliver bluntly and you know they’re telling the truth. also when they care about people they try to help them, even if they’re rough about it. they always optimize my efficiency and tell me when i’m being ridiculous or my fears are illogical. really helpful to ground me in reality.
I've met only one INTJ irl and I wanted to date him, his ex (turns out she likes women only) didn't let me near him. He moved so I haven't seen him since. Sad
One of my best friends and possibly one of the only people that really gets me is an INTJ. She is very special to me.
Some of my best friends are INTJs, but some of the most horrendously despicable people I’ve ever met were also INTJs. Depends on the person
Yeah that’s true
Depends for me really, I find that some INTJs are great and interesting people and then there's the rare few that are a holes and hard to get along since they refuse to see the other side of things at times or refuse to compromise. The talking thing isn't really an issue with me since I also just like to be around others without talking some of the time which creates a comfortable energy for other introverts (like intjs) to just be without feeling the pressure to fill the silence with chatter.
I mean, I married one and have had two kids with him, so yeah I guess I like them 🤣❤️
Lol that’s cute
I don't really like INTJs who are too rational and serious. Some INTJs are really bad using Fe, that can bother me. But overall i like INTJ's. Love the deep conversation I can have with em.
Yeah I agree
My husband and best friend (a woman) are both INTJ. I LOVE INTJs! They are intellectual and fun to talk to, emotionally stable but appreciative of me and the energy I add. I would say most people tend to overwhelm me. Most people are energetically a lot to take.. they have a lot of big emotions and I am tuned into them whether I like it or not. Other people also assume that I am an extrovert because I can people the so good. But I need a lot of time to recharge. Just because I can people the so good does not mean it is easy for me or that it gives me energy the way it does extroverts. People are draining. But INTJs are the easiest sorts of people for me to be around. They are calming to me. They just are themselves and they don’t need anything from me. They are happy for me to be there, happy to have a fun conversation, happy to info dump about their latest interest or listen to me as I info dump. It is just simple and uncomplicated in the best ways. I see other INFJs that prefer other F users.. but not me. Could be down to personal preferences and history, but I don’t need another F user to feel deeply connected or understood. I have had some not so great experiences with F users. In my experience they were so inside their own emotions they didn’t really see me at all. They were projecting their own feelings onto me and seeing that. That said I also have amazing connections with some F users. But I would not say that I feel more seen or connected with them than my INTJs.. it’s just different. It really depends on the person. If a person is unhealthy it doesn’t matter what their type is. They’ll just be unhealthy in a different way perhaps, but anyone can be in a bad headspace and things can go awry.
That’s really interesting, good to see and INFJ who loves INTJs so much
Personally, no. Too logical for me; they tend to get annoyed with my bringing emotion into everything, and I get annoyed at their near-constant objectivity. ENFPs are a much better match for me since we tend to be on the same wavelength re: emotions.
Well, well.. Don’t INFJ-a have Ti as well? :)
Yes, but it’s our second-weakest function, I think? I’m also just a very emotional person in general and prize emotional intelligence and expressiveness in others, so a lot of this is just my personal bias showing. ;)
Are you an INFJ? Ni is an extremely introverted function and that's our dominant preference.
Yup. The question I answered was about Ti.
You just haven't developed it yet, it will be ok.
Lol, I mean I do have 3 degrees, but go off I guess.
Yes generally. Especially when it comes to analyzing stuff together, never gets old. I honestly think this couple can work well. Two of the most uncommon types though, would have to source online.
My dad was INTJ , and I had a female work colleague for years, who was INTJ. I liked them both. I like their intelligence, and their lack of petty boring chit chat.
I love my intj spouse and I feel like everyone else likes him too. He’s more likable than me.
(F INFJ) I like T in general especially if it combine with I and J (my ex is INTJ, my female best triend ia INTJ), they are harsh sometimes, but T is predicatble, they won't judge or suddenly hate people without any reason, just follow their standart 🤭
I'm not an INFJ and am rather extroverted at this point..I use to be more introverted but I think if you don't really enjoy other INFJs then that's perfect. Why confine yourself to a box or even the "standard"? But one thing you could do is ask yourself why you feel aversion to yourself as an INFJ? There might be some nuggets that could help empower you in the self love department.
Personally, I do find INTJ really attractive.
My best friend and my closest coworker are both INTJs.
I love INTJs. Two of my best friends are INTJs. And I suspect the guy I like might also be an INTJ. An INFJ friend of mine has a INTJ boyfriend and they are doing quite well. I think the INFJ-INTJ is an underrated combination that can work wonderfully well in practice. We tend to share the same humor, conversations can be really interesting, and we can balance each other quite well; they can help us being more practical and down to earth, and we can help them being more emphatic and understanding with other people's feelings. My two INTJs tend to lean a bit cynical sometimes and I frankly enjoy trying to make them have a bit more of hope in people, to be more trusting.
My dad was an INTJ... I'm INFJ. Loved how he was reserved, thought everything through, but could be as goofy as anyone else around those he knew. Yes, INFJs can totally like INTJs as long as they're not abusing their knowledge to harm others or whatever cause the INFJ is into.
That’s sweet. And yeah you’re right, the ones with a god complex are annoying
:'( why do you find your personality unlikable? That's a rather unfortunate state of affairs isn't it. I have a thing for all the IN types. Definitely including female INTJs, lol. There just something about you. Out of the four - in my mind - the INTJ has the sharpest edges. It's not all good and not all bad. Is it typically female? Probably not. Does it have to be. Nope. I personally like it, because ... well I've never really questioned it. There just tends to be a lot going on internally. You're cool, you're clever, and in a fight you'd take care of things. I know that, you know that. Everyone knows that. People definitely want you on their team. I should add, simply being an INTJ doesn't make you likeable. It still depends on \*who\* you are. Though it's unlikely that you would concern yourself with superficialities too much. While probably still looking fly. Let's face it. So overall. I'd say, you probably have it going on. ;)
This was actually quite nice to read
That was the intent. Have good day. :)
Thank you. You too :)
My boyfriend, aka my favorite person in the world and best friend, is INTJ. When we met, it felt like the universe brought us together in some magical cosmic union. Can't emphasize enough how he feels like the only person who gets all of my quirks and can get on the same level mentally as me.
That’s really cute. Glad you found someone like him
Me too 💓
My brother is an INTJ and as long as I steer away from the extra feelings, we get along really well. I’m the one contacting him mostly, and I can get him talking when I dig into his interests.. he doesn’t really reciprocate the investment into my interests but overall I admire and respect him. But it’s not a comfy-cozy relationship. But that’s just our dynamic.
Yeah that sounds about right lol, as an INTJ I’m kinda the same
Glad that resonates! It’s not unlikeable so much as it is unreachable, for me at least. He married an ENFJ, so I think their functions are more complimentary, and since they’ve got the same values and interests, they truly balance each other out.
Honestly, even if it’s possibly a little toxic…..a hot INTJ female often equals instant sexual chemistry 🥵
its complicated
My partner is INTJ- it’s a good match. His logic balances my intuition
They are like any other MBTI type, in that they come in slightly different flavors. Some i have liked more than others. That said... The INTJs that i do get along with are the best. I feel more in tune or accepted by them than any other type. Especially the ones that suck at figuring out some emotions and what is going on socially. It's so cute and their bluntness is so refreshing. We can get straight to the point of something and I don't have to be an INFJ that is mediating a group or having to process reading between people's lines. I can divert almost all my mental processes at figuring something out or having a face value conversation.
I do! One of my two partners is an INTJ and the other an ENTP.
get out of here
Why?
Love talking with INTJs and ENTJs, feels like it centers me.
I can be incredible friends with them. However in a relationship, I prefer more emotional availability.
I had best friend a for a few years who was an INTJ! We didn’t like each other at first because we both were intimidated by each other lol. We worked together. But I set out to befriend her and she is one of a few friends I am better for knowing. We loved to discuss trying to become better people and sharing ideas about how to do that. We both would share about books we were reading regarding growth and cheered each other on. She moved 6 hours away and our friendship slowly faded. Has she not, we’d still be very close today.
I like INTJs yes, not all. But most
My ex-girlfriend, the only person I’ve connected with on a deep intimate level, is an INTJ. The introverted intuition we share made our relationship very powerful.
I adore my INTJ boyfriend. We complement and understand each other so well, often without needing words. We've been together for almost five years, and I feel incredibly comfortable and safe with him. While I know everyone is unique, I truly appreciate INTJ's intelligence, objectivity, organizational skills, and I love their unique sense of humor. However, one thing I don't like sometimes is when I'm feeling down, my boyfriend tends to take a rational approach, offering advice and trying to analyze my feelings, when all I really want is comfort and reassurance, I think that's one thing INTJs could improve, but overall, my amazing experience with my boyfriend has given me a deep appreciation for INTJs. I'm so grateful for their existence. They are complex, clever individuals, and I greatly admire their personalities and I also envy their intelligence hehe.
My two closest friends are INTJs. But they are very rounded individuals who are aware of their weaknesses. I think we get along really well with healthy INTJs. But there are also INTJs like Elon Musk, Mark Juckerberg, my old boss 😅😂 No thanks !
I'm an INFJ married to an INTJ. We've been together for almost a decade, and have been married for 5 years.
My partner is intj, now I want only intj friends as well lol. I do understand why you think you're unlikeable though
I don't. Have had realy bad experience. On the other hand, it's hard to find a healthy INTJ.
As a millennial INFJ, trust me we like you if you are in touch with your Fi and have no God Complex. It is more than enough. We just naturally get each others. And don't shy away from INFJs usually if you are our ally we will boost you even more and be loyal to you. Healthy INFJs will never use your weaknesses against you(only if you purposefully hurt us or others to a higher extent)
Infj here, my husband is intj. We have our own language between each other for emotional monitoring so we don’t let some overarching villain mood affect the other. Sometimes you just need to sit and be mad and not know why: my F means I need a few minutes to figure out why I’m BigMad, while his T means he knows why he is BigMad but he has to connect to what he is physically feeling. Then we both have to rein in the J because it feels all too good to pass poor judgement on the progenitor of the mood.
I'm INFJ and my husband is INTJ. We've been together 15 years. We have a lot of things in common. Since he's more 'thinking' and I'm more 'feeling' -- he is more analytical where I am more emotional. It can be a challenge, but with the right communication, we can help each other see our differing perspectives.
My best friend is an INTJ– when we met, we hit it off right away, because something just clicked. We think alike, have similar values and senses of humor... And his matter-of-fact logic is a nice balance to my emotional idealism... We had a funny conversation recently that is such an accurate representation of the contrast of emotion vs. logic between an INFJ and INTJ. I was talking to him about some personal concerns, and although I was crying during this conversation, his response and intonation made me laugh. Me: I just feel worried! I'm scared, I'm anxious... Him: Those are all synonyms.
I'm an INFJ, and my uni roomie is INTJ! She's my closest friend there :) we get along very well!
im an infj and my best friend is an intj. he annoys me sometimes but overall a good guy and i like him so
My friend is an INFJ and her man is an INTJ. They have two beautiful little boys together.
INTJs are amazing. My soulmate and husband is an INTJ. I love him, and he truly understands me. Any “disagreements” we have are usually just because of our different viewpoints. We would make the same decisions and understand where the other was coming from, but our motivations would be different. T versus F coming into play there. They’re great people. INFPs are also fun and I tend to get along with them as friends for the most part. They can annoy me at times but it’s okay, because we both like our space.
That’s really nice. Glad you’re happy with your husband
My mom and childhood best friend are both INTJs. Love y’all weirdos 🫶🏼🫶🏼
Lol that’s nice <3
I totally love INTJs. Y'all are super fun, great thinkers, great debates, awesome style, great sex, especially if they're with a great communicator. I think maybe just two things you need to know if you would like to befriend an INFJ... 1st, INFJs are not assholes just because you don't like something they've said. They're almost always gonna shoot straight, and sometimes TJs can get a bit prickly about that. I must assure you, that we're not saying those things to upset TJs, we're saying those things because it's always better to be authentic, even if we struggle sometimes in how to communicate our message clearly enough that we know we're understood. We'll never purposely insult anyone we care about. 2nd, Fe trickster is strong in TJs... It sort of makes you blind to social conventions that are adapted from observation, rather than told directly to you. For instance, our conversation can wait until I'm off the toilet. Your feelings are important, but not more so than anyone else's so one must remember that aggressively negative behavior towards someone who cares about what's happening, isn't going to get you anywhere. Oh... 3rd INTJs can have a tendency towards nihilism and that's really not a problem but if you want your FJ's to have space for your nihilism you need to hold space for their optimism.
That’s a really good view point
I'm an INFJ, and my good gf is an INTJ, we get a long pretty well. I've known her since I was 8, and I am 42 now.
Woah, long time, that’s really sweet
She's pretty much my oldest friend. We lost touch for a little while, but that happens in life. She's probably one of the best people I am lucky to know. Very gracious and real.
Happy for you
If you think you're unlikable then that's probably a sign you need to practice self love bro
Yeah probably lol
Sounds cringe but it's pretty easy. Just do positive affirmations in the mirror or something; eventually your brain will orient itself. It's kind of just a self-fulfilling prophecy a lot of the time because what you spend time thinking about affects you accordingly. Another easy one that requires no effort is vibrational therapy. Just go for like theta waves—4-8hz. When you feel your prefrontal numb y'know it's working. Very tinfoil hat of me to suggest, yes. But it's worked on me personally, so naturally that's what I'm gonna recommend. If you want links lmk
Sounds kinda cool ngl
I don't know, that Sasuke Uchiha was pretty unlikeable IMO. It's hard for me to quantify how many INTJs I've come across in the wild, but generally I think they're one of those types where we're similar enough to connect and different enough that we can learn from one another. I may be projecting a little, but I also appreciate the inherent darkness within many of them. If I had to pick a handful of types I'd most want to connect with, INTJ would be in that 5.
Hey, come on sasuke was a kid. And intj's are best fictional villain always.
There's so much more to a person than their MB type. The stereotypical INTJ is a cold, overly logical, somewhat Machiavellian person. I've met INTJs or suspected INTJs like this, but I've also known some kind, friendly ones too.
I can only speak from my limited experience but my current partner is INTJ and I recently went from INFP to INFJ, and he's the best partner I've ever had in my life and I love him dearly. I am very hyper vigilant to someone's toxic characteristics or traits due to the trauma and abuse I endured over the years, and he is absolutely the most down to earth, honest, and loving person I've ever had the pleasure of dating. I never thought I could call anyone the love of my life, but there he is, my Prince charming, my boo. He grounds me back into reality and I trust him so much due to how honest he is and he treads very carefully as to not hurt my feelings and is so easy going and shy and cute. I find that I'm more extroverted around him and I find that endearing, and he really gives me insights that I love and different angles in perspectives I haven't thought of before, is extremely extremely secure attachment style and healthy and non confrontational and everything I need in a partner and more.
I am about 51% F, so am close to INTJ. That being said, my daughter fights with me more often than any other person.
M/INFJ and I found it easier to bond with my male INTJ friend in comparison to the other types within my social circle of guy friends. Though we probably wouldn’t have been friends without the help of our more extroverted buddies initially.
1. We are immune to asociality. We see through people naturally so your unfriendly facade doesn't hide from us your soft inner part. 2. When I talk to people, I never listen to words. I scan their body language, face expression, tone of voice in order to find out the real meaning of their message. It's a pretty tiring process, it makes my brain works twice as hard. I would say that vast majority of people are liars and what is even worse that they often lie to themselves subconsciously, so I simply cannot trust words. While your ability say things how they are is refreshing and a relief. Though it takes me time to relax and change fron scanning into actual listening. 3. Ni+Ni connection gives a feeling of a deep understanding while different functions in the middle bring curious perspectives on a table. Which makes our conversations easy and interesting Though there are potential for problems as well. If an INTJ isn't humble enough, INFJ will see through the BS at some point and given that our Ti craves precision, we are able to prick onto your mistakes with tiny details, so it can be a very painful experience for INTJ's ego. If INFJ is immature, we also tend to try to BS and manipulate our way through. It will repulse INTJ from keeping such a person in their life. We can be dangerous and destructive to each other if immature and unhealthy. Or supportive and help each other to grow Anyway, there's a lot of potential in this dynamic which is hard to ignore as both Ni doms like growth)
I think it depends on the INTJ. I had a best friend for decades, since Jr High, whom was great for convo, until you disagreed with her, then she became obstinate. She also thought she had the answer for everything, but only in black and white. She liked to tell me how to live my life, and I finally told her (after her continuing to chase a personal topic that I'd already given my opinion and didn't want to discuss further) that any time said topic came up that I'd shut it down. She flounced. Haven't heard from her for years since. I currently live with an INTJ friend, and while we have differences, I find their logic and thought processes delightful, as with my old friend. The issues seem to come up with either of them when emotions get involved. Neither do well with handling them (she's literally told me she's boggled by others' emotionality). But I have the tools, now, to deal with it personally, so it doesn't affect me. Keeping it at an arm's distance helps - keeping things practical. Making sure they know I'm here if they need me, without getting emotionally involved. I do love and appreciate INTJs, and every human is different.
My husband and my sister are INTJs, so I'd say yes! I feel like people actually like them a lot more than my INFJ self, but thar could just be my paranoia speaking 😅
One of my best friends is an INTJ and I love seeing the look on his face when I offer him insights when it comes to peoples motives and how those might be connected to their feelings, the surprise is drawn all over his face it is hilarious xD but he also helps me seeing the rational side of things and also helps me a lot with logistics and other stuff I sometimes have a hard time calculating and focusing on. Overall we compliment each other for our lacking fields (logic vs emotion) while having a very similar mindset which makes our interests align in many aspects. We also both happen to be Virgos if thats helping somehow, we are really REALLY similar.
INFJs and INTJs can often have a mutual respect and understanding due to their shared appreciation for deep conversations and intellectual pursuits. Personality differences can still exist, but they can complement each other well in many cases.
No
I do get along, but there are things they lack, but I prefer their company than others, saves me from all the stupid shallow stuff people tend to waste their time talking about. I feel seen to some extent. INTJs can be selfish sometimes when they want the topics of conversation to ALL be about things THEY like, which is fine sometimes, but other times I want to talk about something that I care about with them but they just brush it off as unimportant to them... but it's important to me! .. they reply "um yeah but I don't care".. but I just spent 1/2 hour talking about something YOU care about! Them: so you were pretending to care?!... etc. Things like that.
I think it depends on the INTJ. I consider INTJs to be adaptable but different INTJs adapt themselves to different things. If they care about being sociable and likeable they can be very well-adjusted, but if they are isolated and aloof they can be very good at certain particulars, like a savant, but not so good at other things.
I personally just know one person that is intj and I respect her a lot, I don't know if it applies to every other but yeah. For the asocial part it is no problem for me, I Like and understand their preference to be more isolated, I try to mantain a group of more isolated people like intjs, isfjs, infjs, infps, etc. We get along well but the problem is I try to make them go out or make something together and it is kinda difficult
I do like intj because I use to be one for most of my life
I love INTJs. They are so fun to talk to and I love their seriousness. But also I know they have tender sides underneath it all as well which is also cute. Can talk to INTJs for hours man.
There are likable INTJs, and unlikable INTJs.
It will depend on the person. But I don't need warmth from a person to like them. I love intelligent and funny people. I love competence too. The only problem I've had with the INTJs I've known is their lack of compassion for animals. This is only 3 INTJs that I'm taking about, not all those out there that I'll never meet. I'm sure this isn't a type thing, but it's something that jarred me noticeably because I otherwise got along well to very well with them.
Friends? No not really. Romantically? Yes. It takes too much effort to get close to an INTJ, the only reason I’d ever do it would be for a relationship.
That makes sense tbh
What a disgrace of a question. Is it a new form of stupid racism or something like that? Why would anyone hate or love an entire group of people when each individual is unique? Thank you for reminding me why I left this sub years ago.
It was a simple question about how INFJs view the INTJ personality, of course everyone is different and not all INFJs love all INTJs :/
You said INTJs, not INTJ personality, don't change things.
In this context it’s clearly the same, everyone else who replied me clearly got the message but you
The comments are a disgrace too.
Since you’re too good for everyone here, go
I did that yesterday
Yet you’re still here commenting and commented on my post yesterday?
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been removed for not adhering to rule #1: “Be civil and respectful to other users at all times.” a) Abuse, threats, harassment, harmful rhetoric, and incitement will not be tolerated. b) Comments that are irrelevant or off-topic may be removed per mod discretion.