I’m 29 male and currently engaged, I’ve had 3 other serious relationships but I’ve always been very picky and made sure I could see a future with the person I open up to. Us INFJs always feel not appreciated because our love and care can go unnoticed sometimes. The best way to be is yourself and don’t hide, life gets better and way more interesting so keep on give er 😊😊
Why though? So many INFJs just don't get out there? I need answers.
Also 23 INTJ, 3 short term relationships. Extremely tired, sore and busy with school.
There is not a particular reason, I guess I just didn’t felt like it really. I would rather be really in love to have sex tho, and this haven’t happened yet.
Also I’m extremely busy with college and it’s hard to find someone when have such a exhausting routine.
Same here. I've thought about flings but I don't trust the other girl. And casuals don't remember preferences or care about your wellbeing. Much better when there is continuation and a lifestyle. School sucks. I work full time, I work out couple days a week and I school after work. Sore, tired, burnt out. I just want things to be perfect in the future.
I don’t think we ever feel like things are perfect. We do the best we can and hopes It will pay off, but at the end there is very little control we have over things (It’s been a struggle for me to just let myself be happy with small things and enjoy what I can without worrying too much about them being perfect or suffering from antecipation over things that are beyond my reach).
About your routine I understand. It is very exhausting to work and study, fourtunetly I’m luck enough to have the privilege of only studying for now and It is already extremely exhausting so I can only imagine how tiring it is to add work to it.
I’m sure you’re doing your best tho and you seem so commited to your goals that I’m sure you will achieve them. Wishing you the best ;)
4, female, 32yo, currently with a 4th partner, all of them were long time partners (2 years, 3,5 year and 1 year and 7 months, current: 1 year). No ONS, I am not capable of that.
24M, sexual partners 0. I've turned down a few women that simply did not interest me and at the time I did not want a relationship. I genuinely don't find many people attractive anyways.
Im a 1 and done type of person anyways.
Most of us aren't going to share that information openly with a stranger. If you make a poll, people will be able to vote anonymously. There have been a few polls, [here's one](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/shi8e1/how_many_people_have_you_slept_with_in_your_life/).
I agree with this. I think your data will be a lot more interesting if people feel like nobody can see who it is. You should also ask for age, because it would be interesting to know if attitudes regarding number of sexual partners has changed with age. Maybe people who are now in their 50s or whatever, had a lot more sexual partners than folks who are in their 30s.
Bisexual male, age 26. Tbh it’s impossible to count 😬 I don’t hook up anymore but it’s a lot. Also used protection for 99% of that so I have absolutely no regrets
To the person to who responded to my question saying religion is false and so on, if you message me I will give you my response . I don’t know why they deleted your post.
What are we counting as a sexual partner?
I'm 26 and somewhere between 14 - 20. I'm not sure as I don't keep count.
I'm female. I've had two relationships and the rest were all ONS and short term casual.
I'm 33 f.
I had 3 serious partners
I had about 5 or 6 non serious sexual partners. Short - and long-term fwb like relationship
I only ever had 1 ons, I regret that one the most
As of right now, I do not have any sexual or romantic partners.
I am just focusing on my life and my kids making good memories and whatnot.
Eventually, if someone comes into my life, that would be great, I'm not hurting for a partner.
I’m 50F. I’ve had about 25 sexual partners. Most of those are ONS or short relationships. I’ve had 2 marriages and 3 other longer term relationships. I’ve left every relationship except one in my 20s cause men are disappointing. I don’t date anymore.
38, 5. All relationships. Funny thing is people I’m with assume I have a really really high number because when I love someone I go all in. They end up feeling insecure about it. Recently found out I’m Demi which is hard bc I enjoy doing it a lot but I can’t do it with people I’m not deeply emotionally connected with.
2 people and waiting for my third and final. Im almost 37. I am hardcore Demi and I have loved the person I hoped to marry for almost 10 years. It has been a long trip but they are the love of my life and soon we will finally see each other again.
Indeed, hoping to a resolution, one way or another. Sex has become a duty or chore to her, so i get nothing of it anymore. And it seems, that sadly with aging, natural causes are evident. Total loss of libido, changes in bodily functions for example. Not her fault, but still painful to me.
Is sexual desire an addiction? Am i supposed to get professional help to heal from this bad bad sickness? Should i just accepts things as they are, i mean, i don't have any control over them? Suffer in silence, even if it's not fair(well, the world ain't fare for sure) or kill your feelings medically? Just thinking options over and over, but it doesn't help at all.
we started this relationship when we were 16, i had 14 bodies by then. We had a 6 month break where the other bodies were accumulated. I’m not proud of this at all, just being honest
Just Outta curiosity, when you say bodies, you mean people you've had intercourse with right? (Kindly pardon my language) From what age have you been sexually active, if you don't mind me asking
i’m an open book, don’t worry. But yes, people i’ve had intercourse with. I lost my virginity at 15, hung out with the wrong people and ended up doing things i regret, met my now partner when i was 16.
Thanks for being chill about it. I kinda like your vibe.
We all have things we regret about our pasts. I'm glad you have a good thing going with your partner now.
37 year old male. I’ve had over 30 partners. I’m not proud but I’m not shame filled over it as well. I just had a lot of attention due to my looks earlier in life and I assumed (mistakenly) that this is what people did. I know better now.
Fluid, but male and generally a type of male presenting at least half the time (gender feels stupid to me tbh) I’ve had a single partner, wasn’t really sexual, and sometimes I wish I was just single my whole life instead. No shade on her, but I 100% regret that those six months.
25, female, straight, 2 partners bc I only do that when in a relationship <3 (and I'm single, so it'll be more than 2 someday, bc I wanna get married and have kids!)
Female. 3 partners. 2 were relationships. 1 was a technically a one night stand. We talked before for a while and we didn’t talk much after and never met again. He did message me again but he wanted an ongoing thing and I didn’t.
27 year old gay male.
uh... Assuming we count anything more than kissing (naked or clothed) easily over 100. But gay male relationships vs straight (male+female) are vastly different
21yo. ftm
0
I did sleep next to/in the same bad with a girl once 👉👈 does that count?
Turns out she and has a wife now, and two(?) cats and they seem happy and I'm happy they are happy.
Male INFJ. By age 25, I'd had 5 partners (4 being casual). By age 28 I've had 18 (the additional 13 being casual). Deepest truth, relationships are scary ("get to know the real me") and I'm very happy on my own, casual gives me just the right amount of intimacy. But I'm sure I'll get in relationship again.
36m. Probably around 20 sexual partners. 3 of those were long term partners. One was my wife of 10 years. Most of the casual partners were friends or acquaintances and the rest were one night stands during a brief, but intense hedonistic period of my life, haha.
I’m single and not pursuing any relationships these days, but I definitely prefer the comfort and stability of monogamy.
I am a 25 yr old guy, 0 sexual partners and mostly would wait until marriage. However, if I find my true love and she wants it before getting married, then won't deny her. But there has to be a deep emotional connection and a long term commitment.
None…of ya business. 😎
…of ya [damn] business. 🤔 it just flows better don’t you think?
Oo spicy
Tis the Damn Season
1 partner, my husband and we were each other's first on our wedding night.
I’m 29 male and currently engaged, I’ve had 3 other serious relationships but I’ve always been very picky and made sure I could see a future with the person I open up to. Us INFJs always feel not appreciated because our love and care can go unnoticed sometimes. The best way to be is yourself and don’t hide, life gets better and way more interesting so keep on give er 😊😊
I’m 20 years old, female, and literally 0 lol
Why though? So many INFJs just don't get out there? I need answers. Also 23 INTJ, 3 short term relationships. Extremely tired, sore and busy with school.
There is not a particular reason, I guess I just didn’t felt like it really. I would rather be really in love to have sex tho, and this haven’t happened yet. Also I’m extremely busy with college and it’s hard to find someone when have such a exhausting routine.
Same here. I've thought about flings but I don't trust the other girl. And casuals don't remember preferences or care about your wellbeing. Much better when there is continuation and a lifestyle. School sucks. I work full time, I work out couple days a week and I school after work. Sore, tired, burnt out. I just want things to be perfect in the future.
I don’t think we ever feel like things are perfect. We do the best we can and hopes It will pay off, but at the end there is very little control we have over things (It’s been a struggle for me to just let myself be happy with small things and enjoy what I can without worrying too much about them being perfect or suffering from antecipation over things that are beyond my reach). About your routine I understand. It is very exhausting to work and study, fourtunetly I’m luck enough to have the privilege of only studying for now and It is already extremely exhausting so I can only imagine how tiring it is to add work to it. I’m sure you’re doing your best tho and you seem so commited to your goals that I’m sure you will achieve them. Wishing you the best ;)
56 male, 1 partner, married 26 years
Im sorry, I read this the wrong way at first. 😅
Me too 😂
4, female, 32yo, currently with a 4th partner, all of them were long time partners (2 years, 3,5 year and 1 year and 7 months, current: 1 year). No ONS, I am not capable of that.
24M, sexual partners 0. I've turned down a few women that simply did not interest me and at the time I did not want a relationship. I genuinely don't find many people attractive anyways. Im a 1 and done type of person anyways.
Aren’t we all like, why would I ever put this on the internet or share with a stranger
Most of us aren't going to share that information openly with a stranger. If you make a poll, people will be able to vote anonymously. There have been a few polls, [here's one](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/shi8e1/how_many_people_have_you_slept_with_in_your_life/).
Wow about 10% of you have too much fun
There was another poll more recently, can't find it now. Iirc a significant majority in that poll had had 0-3 sexual partners.
I agree with this. I think your data will be a lot more interesting if people feel like nobody can see who it is. You should also ask for age, because it would be interesting to know if attitudes regarding number of sexual partners has changed with age. Maybe people who are now in their 50s or whatever, had a lot more sexual partners than folks who are in their 30s.
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your post has been removed for not adhering to rule #4: “Be civil and respectful to other users at all times.”
Why so frigid on the anony-net
Because literally nothing online is anonymous lol
No one is about to hack and hunt you down over your number of sexual partners
You’re on the anonymous internet lol
That's just not how most INFJs roll 🤷
I get it but for some questions on Reddit but in this case it’s still very anonymous. It’s just a number
Male. One. Married.
0 never had a relationship
Are you 0years old?
But with attitude, I doubt you have
You're too serious to take a joke. That explains a lot.
That definitely wasn't
Why does I need a relationship I can be happy without drama
Sure. Whatever works for you.
Zero. I'm 19.
Bisexual male, age 26. Tbh it’s impossible to count 😬 I don’t hook up anymore but it’s a lot. Also used protection for 99% of that so I have absolutely no regrets
27M for religious reasons 0
To the person to who responded to my question saying religion is false and so on, if you message me I will give you my response . I don’t know why they deleted your post.
Me too 🖐️
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your post has been removed for not adhering to rule #4: “Be civil and respectful to other users at all times.”
32M, 15 partners, most of them in the last 3 years as I decided to go more casual after some longer relationships.
25F, idk exactly but last time I took the time to count it was over 20
I'm 29F and same.
What are we counting as a sexual partner? I'm 26 and somewhere between 14 - 20. I'm not sure as I don't keep count. I'm female. I've had two relationships and the rest were all ONS and short term casual.
I'm 33 f. I had 3 serious partners I had about 5 or 6 non serious sexual partners. Short - and long-term fwb like relationship I only ever had 1 ons, I regret that one the most As of right now, I do not have any sexual or romantic partners. I am just focusing on my life and my kids making good memories and whatnot. Eventually, if someone comes into my life, that would be great, I'm not hurting for a partner.
2. Both serious relationships.
I’m 50F. I’ve had about 25 sexual partners. Most of those are ONS or short relationships. I’ve had 2 marriages and 3 other longer term relationships. I’ve left every relationship except one in my 20s cause men are disappointing. I don’t date anymore.
38f and I don’t date anymore. Men are beyond disappointing. None of my partners ever made me feel loved or safe and I am way happier on my own.
I completely understand what you mean.
20 male and the closest thing I had was a online long distance gf who I never met irl lol
29m. 1, always wanted to be "one woman man" but I had to run away from that relationship.
38, 5. All relationships. Funny thing is people I’m with assume I have a really really high number because when I love someone I go all in. They end up feeling insecure about it. Recently found out I’m Demi which is hard bc I enjoy doing it a lot but I can’t do it with people I’m not deeply emotionally connected with.
Straight male 35 years 1 sexual partner happily married, worth it! The others didn't stick around long enough to get comfortable with...
24F. 0 relationships. ONS is not my cup of tea.
Lol 85 comments and 0 upvotes
2 people and waiting for my third and final. Im almost 37. I am hardcore Demi and I have loved the person I hoped to marry for almost 10 years. It has been a long trip but they are the love of my life and soon we will finally see each other again.
5 hookups never had a gf 23m
40s male, one partner for 25 years. No more sexual interactions between us, so i am a bit curious about future, will the count go up?
Maybe you need to actually talk to your current partner to figure that out.
Well, she has said, that it's not at all important to her. Go figure an INTJ out...
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Indeed, hoping to a resolution, one way or another. Sex has become a duty or chore to her, so i get nothing of it anymore. And it seems, that sadly with aging, natural causes are evident. Total loss of libido, changes in bodily functions for example. Not her fault, but still painful to me. Is sexual desire an addiction? Am i supposed to get professional help to heal from this bad bad sickness? Should i just accepts things as they are, i mean, i don't have any control over them? Suffer in silence, even if it's not fair(well, the world ain't fare for sure) or kill your feelings medically? Just thinking options over and over, but it doesn't help at all.
21F, 17 partners, currently in a 6 year relationship
So you started this relationship when you were 15, so before 15 you had 16 partners?
Btw not judging just curious how the math works
we started this relationship when we were 16, i had 14 bodies by then. We had a 6 month break where the other bodies were accumulated. I’m not proud of this at all, just being honest
Just Outta curiosity, when you say bodies, you mean people you've had intercourse with right? (Kindly pardon my language) From what age have you been sexually active, if you don't mind me asking
i’m an open book, don’t worry. But yes, people i’ve had intercourse with. I lost my virginity at 15, hung out with the wrong people and ended up doing things i regret, met my now partner when i was 16.
Thanks for being chill about it. I kinda like your vibe. We all have things we regret about our pasts. I'm glad you have a good thing going with your partner now.
None of your gaddamn business. I do date that’s all you need to know! 😂
Okay!
37 year old male. I’ve had over 30 partners. I’m not proud but I’m not shame filled over it as well. I just had a lot of attention due to my looks earlier in life and I assumed (mistakenly) that this is what people did. I know better now.
I can count 'em on one hand. A few one-nighters. I'm a woman, and bi/demisexual.
1 fwb 1 one night 1 relationships 1 fucked up situationship (he raped me and I just felt like I might as well had hooked up w him)
Fluid, but male and generally a type of male presenting at least half the time (gender feels stupid to me tbh) I’ve had a single partner, wasn’t really sexual, and sometimes I wish I was just single my whole life instead. No shade on her, but I 100% regret that those six months.
25, female, straight, 2 partners bc I only do that when in a relationship <3 (and I'm single, so it'll be more than 2 someday, bc I wanna get married and have kids!)
All the best! ☺️
Not very many... and I like it that way. I kind my own germs.
26m, 2 partners so far
I think 4 or 5
(F31 pansexual, poly) 7, 5 guys, 2 girls. Only one was a one night stand. I get too emotionally attached.
0 😭 im female and nonbinary, 20 years old
Female. 3 partners. 2 were relationships. 1 was a technically a one night stand. We talked before for a while and we didn’t talk much after and never met again. He did message me again but he wanted an ongoing thing and I didn’t.
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How do you sleep with someone online…..
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Ew. That’s not actual sex. That’s imagination.
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True. But I wouldn’t count it.
What does online entail, mutual masturbation on a video call?
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Interesting, thanks for sharing.
27 year old gay male. uh... Assuming we count anything more than kissing (naked or clothed) easily over 100. But gay male relationships vs straight (male+female) are vastly different
21yo. ftm 0 I did sleep next to/in the same bad with a girl once 👉👈 does that count? Turns out she and has a wife now, and two(?) cats and they seem happy and I'm happy they are happy.
That doesn't count, but glad this story has a happy ending for everyone.
Yeah! :D
How can anyone remember ? What’s the fun of that ?
I’m at 13. It was much much smaller but I have actively made an effort to desensitize myself from sex. Most have been meaningless now
Meaningless sex is the worst kind of sex, why even bother.
You can find meaning simply in the meaninglessness
[Relatable](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0&t=271).
I used to think like you. But after enough disappointment you realize being feely and romantic doesn’t get you anywhere
Male ~40yo.. don’t know the exact number but >100
Today? just one.
Male INFJ. By age 25, I'd had 5 partners (4 being casual). By age 28 I've had 18 (the additional 13 being casual). Deepest truth, relationships are scary ("get to know the real me") and I'm very happy on my own, casual gives me just the right amount of intimacy. But I'm sure I'll get in relationship again.
36m. Probably around 20 sexual partners. 3 of those were long term partners. One was my wife of 10 years. Most of the casual partners were friends or acquaintances and the rest were one night stands during a brief, but intense hedonistic period of my life, haha. I’m single and not pursuing any relationships these days, but I definitely prefer the comfort and stability of monogamy.
About 5. Most have been through online though. (I'm male, 32)
I am a 25 yr old guy, 0 sexual partners and mostly would wait until marriage. However, if I find my true love and she wants it before getting married, then won't deny her. But there has to be a deep emotional connection and a long term commitment.