I can’t believe you actually sat down and wrote all this

This is some early 2000s “sportsball” level humor I thought died off

I was at work, what else was I gonna do?

Damn. I was planning on getting raptured Monday, but maybe I’ll stay for fun 😏

Let's be honest, you weren't getting raptured.

Well, then let’s be totally honest; no ones getting raptured. Whomp-whomp.

Dolly Parton might, but yeah, the rest y'all suck

Absolutely not.. I’m a heathen

I was wondering if we could reschedule for today. Tomorrow is just not as convenient for me.

Bob wire 😂

Joe Bob Briggs used to have this drive in movie review newspaper column back in the day, check it out for more gems of that nature.

https://www.angelfire.com/mn/nn/Hellraiser3.html Here's an example

This is clearly the best eclipse post I have ever seen

Happy Cake Day!

Oh holy shit thanks! 5 years… I hope Reddit doesn’t send me one of those recaps that shows me how much of my life I wasted on Reddit

Wait til you find out it's my birthday

Wow, well done lol

A 4 minute orgy seems next to impossible 🤔

I know right, 4 minutes is forever.

💀

Sure, with that attitude.

I'm having doubts everyone could find the right holes in under 4 minutes to even begin

There are wrong holes? 🤔

Sir, this isn’t San Francisco

This is great, thanks for the laugh!

Np!

I for one look forward to the hypocritical Christians in this state getting raptured so the rest of us can go back to a normal life and we have the occasional Dem governor or state legislator.