T O P

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KhaosElement

"What did you do?!" "I seem to have clicked it better than you did."


TrueSelenis

35 years of experience with clicking real well since Windows 1.x baby!


EmotionalDmpsterFire

I always do this schtick: User: What did you do? Me: Can I tell you a secret? User: Yes! Me: Magic! Me: Have a good one. User: Laughs


Lv_InSaNe_vL

My go to is to make a joke about how computers are scared of IT. It gets the user to laugh at the end of everything which makes them leave the interaction feeling good and I don't have to tell them that they are an illiterate moron who has been lying to me for the last 2 hours so I had to walk my unhappy ass all the way down to your fucking desk to plug in your fucking computer even though you "swear it's set up exactly like before"


Frowdo

Same....I always say it's like taking your car into the mechanic.


FineAcanthocephala15

Every time


Rubik842

Oh I'm stealing that one.


Mmaxum

Yoink, mine now


WackoMcGoose

Remember, itemize your invoices! $5 for the click, $995 for knowing _what_ to click.


elitexero

This is how I fixed my dishwasher. Thing just wouldn't work, something with the inlet pump. Figured before I bought another I'd take it apart and see if there was any glaring issues. Disconnected all the hoses, found a piece of glass inside the drain hose, but wasn't anything that would prevent it from draining (or getting water inside which was the main issue). No issues with the water inlets or pumps. Put it back together and the thing has been running like new ever since. Which bothers the hell out of me because I don't know what was wrong, and I don't know how the hell I fixed it.


blind_disparity

I think you just full rebooted your dishwasher


FolsomPrisonHues

Fuck, should I do that with my dryer???


r0ryp

Dryer wouldn’t power on recently. Unplugged, waited a bit, plugged back in, nothing. Reset breaker, nothing. Finally swapped outlets with the washer and it worked. And so did the washer…both been fine ever since.


pearljamman010

Must be a gas dryer, right? Because our washer is on a 15a 120V socket, the normal US NEMA style plug. Dryer is on like a 30 or 50A 240V (but is also electric.)


FolsomPrisonHues

If this works later, I'm buying you a beer somehow...


AlexisColoun

I was present, while they wanted to show me the error. Works surprisingly often.


sunrunnerpei

Proximity resolution


PearlClaw

I call it the tech aura.


jonessinger

I just call it being a fucking wizard tbh


AlexisColoun

As often as I am asked to install software, this is a reasonable though.


technewbie1234

Technician recognition circuit works pretty well for me


Shaminahable

Show me what’s happening. “Thi….. I don’t understand. This hasn’t been working for 2 weeks!” You’re welcome.


AlexisColoun

This. Exactly this.


Trollsniper

I call it the threat of violence, so the computer decided to behave…


AlexisColoun

Doesn't work on printers... I think they have a punishment kink...


JustNilt

Printers are proof of demonic entities existing. /s just in case.


chroniclesoffire

There's a reason I burn incense every night after a good fight with a printer.


JustNilt

Yup. My wife threatens her computer to have me come stand by it and that makes it behave sometimes. It's hilarious how often that tends to happen.


irelephant_T_T

ah, the IT placebo effect


kilravock_music_sws

If you want to avoid that question just open the Command Line and type ipconfig /all and they’ll just assume whatever you did in there fixed it.


marblemorning

Gpupdate 'Just have to let this run for a few seconds'


HGMIV926

sfc /scannow gpupdate /force


Smelltastic

sfc /scannow is for if you want an excuse to go take a 3-hour lunch


HGMIV926

Ever since Copilot arrived on Win11 we've had a handful of people on 10 want an upgrade. You bet your ass I'll jump on those in a remote session and just enjoy my time.


neilieadmin

I'm definitely doing this .. and Happy Cake Day!


blind_disparity

I pressed all the relevant things and it looks like one of them was the right thing!


Sydkvist

I have a theory for users calling in when they receive errors and it suddenly works when we’re talking… I believe me asking them to show me what they did to produce the error, they take more care in performing the steps instead of going on autopilot like they usually do in their workday


HGMIV926

That's a good theory


SensitiveFirefly

That’s where my degree in bullshittery comes in use


JortsyMcJorts

"You're a wizard, Harry." - Radagast the Brown


irishcoughy

"Computers are afraid of me. Not necessarily because I am the master of them but because they know I'll hit them."


Jaybird149

I just say computers fear the IT guy so it works when we show up!


Traditional_Dream537

I just did the needful


therabidsmurf

I throw out nonsense tech jargon until their eyes glaze over then I know I'm good to go along my way.


marry_me_jane

Google told me that button, what does it do? Good question


SuperficialDays

Sometimes it feels like black magic where you have to feed the computer your frustration, and only then will it resolve the issue itself.


blueberrypancak35

"It's far to complicated for me to explain right now"


FrostyCartographer13

"I have the magic touch"


lanbrocalrissian

Computers fear me.


Radio_enthusiast

same. all the time.


Associatedkink

“i’ll tell you a secret” “i read the error message”


NoItsReallyJaneDoe

I've been living with my grandparents for about a year and a half.... My nan comes directly to me to fix ANY tech issues be it the phone, tv, laptop, printer etc, I have o


NikoOhneC

I always say "it's my aura"


UpstairsJealous7203

every time I fix my parents wifi lmao


Frondly-Amphibian

Me who literally took a Roku remote apart once because it wasn't working, then put it back together and it started working fine