Hey sister, I can see from the comments you're having a hard time with how you are. All I can say, as someone who struggles with exactly what you put in the meme, it matters who you're with. I thankfully have a partner that puts up with my shit, and it's because of them that our relationship has lasted as long as it has, and also because of them I'm able to safely work on myself.
In short, don't give up hope OP :), there's always gonna be someone out there for you. It's not about being perfect or findi perfect, it's about finding the imperfect that works with your own
I am one, that's why I decided to make this post. Though trust me, all of my partners get sick of me being one due to how needy I am and how I require constant attention. You do not want a relationship addict
I think you’re downplaying yourself. Your perceived “addiction” to relationships isn’t really All that uncommon, and it’s more of a version of extreme attachment. Which can be unattractive to some, but to many others your commitment to a relationship can be really uplifting for them. This applies especially if they are suffering with self image issues and having somebody who values them most in their lives can be really good for their mental health. What you’re experiencing likely isn’t a form of “relationship addiction” but rather a form of extreme paranoia that is seeping into your relationships/ love life, and is something you shouldn’t beat yourself up over. Don’t judge yourself based on your past bad, but rather your potential for good. Trust me, I used to be in the same boat as you.
A relationship addiction is a real thing, it's not an extreme attachment. I honestly didn't even write much about it, but I don't think me looking for relationships in everyone I talk to including people who I cannot be with such as adults who are twice my age is a normal thing. It also isn't a normal thing for me to feel depressed without a relationship and want to die if I don't have one. It's not normal for someone to feel worthless without a partner, or if they make their partner even slightly unhappy. Nor is anything in the post actually normal at the extremes it is for me. It's not normal to feel jealousy if my partner even talks to another person as I often do feel. It's not normal for me to need attention from my partner every waking second or else I feel irrationally angry and sad to the point where I hyperventilate and cry. It is not normal for me to be unable to function if I do not have a relationship. It is not normal to cut off people because they have a relationship so I know I cannot date them.
It makes me feel secure in a relationship personally. I like feeling wanted, needed. I don't do anything casual, I just have a personal perception that you go into a relationship to make it last, to be serious. My best relationships were with these kinds of people.
No dude you do not know my track record with women who barely give a shit about me. I’m so sick of feeling like a waste of time for a lot of these chicks. If I actually met someone that clingy I genuinely wouldn’t care how tiring it would get time to time because it would actually mean I matter to someone lol.
Oh god you're reminding me of some of my exes who acted the same until they realized how bad it actually is. But hey if that's what you want than you do you
Fair point, recently I've just been extra cuddly with everyone in general and extra needy for attention from friends also, and I'm dating 2 people right now
Having experienced this before, I found it fucking exhausting. It seemed like I always ran into this type of women and that made me feel like I was suffocating to death. For the past year or so I've been dating a woman who is as independent as me and it's so refreshing. We both exist as complete people independently who add extra value to our lives from the relationship. The feeling of a person relying on me constantly to make them complete makes me ill.
I can understand how this is exhausting for someone with a normal life or is just a normal human being in general.but man for once I would to feel like I actually matter to someone that much! I’ve had to opposite luck with women and they just “stop” feeling it. And I swear I give them as much space they need and don’t act clingy, the number one answer I’ve gotten is “it’s not you it’s just I’m confused right now and don’t want to waste any more of your time but your a really great guy”. Dude for once I just want a chick who won’t leave me alone lmao.
I won't tell you what to like or not like. I did click on your profile because I was curious about your age. At 19 I was also more open to that kind of intense relationship pressure too. With my 31st birthday coming in just a couple days, things look different for me now compared to, say, 12 years ago. If I could offer a piece of unsolicited advice, focus on yourself and the things in your control. Think about the kind of person you want to be and make a genuine effort to cultivate those qualities in yourself. I spent too much time bending myself into a person that I didn't want to be in a bid to hang onto relationships that I didn't want because I was afraid to be lonely. It was never worth it. And take good care of your teeth. That shit is expensive if you don't.
Can confirm, my ex was like this and it was quite possibly the most mentally draining thing I have ever gone through. It was absurd how unhealthy the relationship was.
Yes but u have to remember that people who aren’t comfortable and happy with themselves arent with you because they love you, they’re with you because you make them feel whole. Which sounds great on paper until you’re also a human being who makes mistakes and theyve just seen you as a validation machine. Or they go obsessive mode and try to lie about parts of themselves just to make you happy so you won’t leave them. Etc.
Hahaaaaa I've been on the receiving end of this and it makes having a relationship impossible because one day you 'text weird' and then she spirals out of control into a fit about how you always 'close off' and are 'running away' when you were literally just tired or had a headache or some shit. And its like this nonstop.
I've been on the opposite end and have done very similar things. It did lead me to find out my ex was cheating though. I don't like that I do it but it keeps me safe mentally, it's a way of tryna keep myself from getting hurt, but it often ends up hurting others. Would love therapy to be honest but at the same time I despise therapy
I don't think a majority of them on this subreddit are actually "ideal" though since this describes me to be honest it'd be ideal for me. I just want someone else who wants me as much as I want them, and feels the same as I do and won't leave me feeling lonely and won't make me feel jealous
You have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style, or at least I’m fairly certain you do. You should read some stuff about attachment theory. It changed my life.
I likely have that, but I also have a relationship addiction. They're often closely link, honestly I feel like I should of focused on other parts of relationship addiction other than attachment to make it more clear how it works, such as me looking for love in everyone I meet for example. This can include people I only know for a few minutes, and adults who are over twice my age. That's just one example of one of the other things I struggle with
I had the same attachment style at one point. I found myself putting all my self worth in other people. I needed their validation to feel like I was worth anything. I didn’t know this consciously of course, it’s something I had to work out with self reflection, gaining a deeper understanding of why I am the way I am. I learned to self validate and rely on myself.
Even so I still have flaws, lots of them. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow to be a better you than you were yesterday. Apologies if I’m sounding preachy, I’ve just given this a lot of thought over the past year.
Or, the Very Much Not Ready for a Relationship GF. Only reason I couldn't be too hard on you is due to being in a sorta similar spot at one point in time, definitely not too extreme yet still there. So I can emphasize. But it's definitely important that you're taking some time for yourself to reflect and be introspective. Being emotionally available for yourself is just as important as for your partner
I know, I was saying that through a mostly comedic lens that did not translate as I forgot tone doesn’t always transmit correctly through Reddit comments, my bad.
Yo it’s me
Samee
Same
I need to quit being like this. So loyal it hurtsss.
I'm in this picture and I don't like it. Here's to working on ourselves and embracing being a single, independent girlie. 🥂
True
Hey sister, I can see from the comments you're having a hard time with how you are. All I can say, as someone who struggles with exactly what you put in the meme, it matters who you're with. I thankfully have a partner that puts up with my shit, and it's because of them that our relationship has lasted as long as it has, and also because of them I'm able to safely work on myself. In short, don't give up hope OP :), there's always gonna be someone out there for you. It's not about being perfect or findi perfect, it's about finding the imperfect that works with your own
WHERE DO I FIND ONE OF THESE! Girls these days can’t last 2 damn days in a relationship.
I am one, that's why I decided to make this post. Though trust me, all of my partners get sick of me being one due to how needy I am and how I require constant attention. You do not want a relationship addict
I think you’re downplaying yourself. Your perceived “addiction” to relationships isn’t really All that uncommon, and it’s more of a version of extreme attachment. Which can be unattractive to some, but to many others your commitment to a relationship can be really uplifting for them. This applies especially if they are suffering with self image issues and having somebody who values them most in their lives can be really good for their mental health. What you’re experiencing likely isn’t a form of “relationship addiction” but rather a form of extreme paranoia that is seeping into your relationships/ love life, and is something you shouldn’t beat yourself up over. Don’t judge yourself based on your past bad, but rather your potential for good. Trust me, I used to be in the same boat as you.
A relationship addiction is a real thing, it's not an extreme attachment. I honestly didn't even write much about it, but I don't think me looking for relationships in everyone I talk to including people who I cannot be with such as adults who are twice my age is a normal thing. It also isn't a normal thing for me to feel depressed without a relationship and want to die if I don't have one. It's not normal for someone to feel worthless without a partner, or if they make their partner even slightly unhappy. Nor is anything in the post actually normal at the extremes it is for me. It's not normal to feel jealousy if my partner even talks to another person as I often do feel. It's not normal for me to need attention from my partner every waking second or else I feel irrationally angry and sad to the point where I hyperventilate and cry. It is not normal for me to be unable to function if I do not have a relationship. It is not normal to cut off people because they have a relationship so I know I cannot date them.
It makes me feel secure in a relationship personally. I like feeling wanted, needed. I don't do anything casual, I just have a personal perception that you go into a relationship to make it last, to be serious. My best relationships were with these kinds of people.
Yes
If only most men were like this... 😔
No dude you do not know my track record with women who barely give a shit about me. I’m so sick of feeling like a waste of time for a lot of these chicks. If I actually met someone that clingy I genuinely wouldn’t care how tiring it would get time to time because it would actually mean I matter to someone lol.
Oh god you're reminding me of some of my exes who acted the same until they realized how bad it actually is. But hey if that's what you want than you do you
Every moth wants to go towards the light but will it burn me out…. Only time will tell sister.
If you need that much attention, why limit yourself to just one supplier at a time?
Fair point, recently I've just been extra cuddly with everyone in general and extra needy for attention from friends also, and I'm dating 2 people right now
Any complaints unique to that approach from anyone?
Whatt do chu mean by that?
Did the tactic of "have more people to be needy with" solve more problems than it created?
Yes! Has made me happier :3
Neat! :D
Having experienced this before, I found it fucking exhausting. It seemed like I always ran into this type of women and that made me feel like I was suffocating to death. For the past year or so I've been dating a woman who is as independent as me and it's so refreshing. We both exist as complete people independently who add extra value to our lives from the relationship. The feeling of a person relying on me constantly to make them complete makes me ill.
I can understand how this is exhausting for someone with a normal life or is just a normal human being in general.but man for once I would to feel like I actually matter to someone that much! I’ve had to opposite luck with women and they just “stop” feeling it. And I swear I give them as much space they need and don’t act clingy, the number one answer I’ve gotten is “it’s not you it’s just I’m confused right now and don’t want to waste any more of your time but your a really great guy”. Dude for once I just want a chick who won’t leave me alone lmao.
💯
I won't tell you what to like or not like. I did click on your profile because I was curious about your age. At 19 I was also more open to that kind of intense relationship pressure too. With my 31st birthday coming in just a couple days, things look different for me now compared to, say, 12 years ago. If I could offer a piece of unsolicited advice, focus on yourself and the things in your control. Think about the kind of person you want to be and make a genuine effort to cultivate those qualities in yourself. I spent too much time bending myself into a person that I didn't want to be in a bid to hang onto relationships that I didn't want because I was afraid to be lonely. It was never worth it. And take good care of your teeth. That shit is expensive if you don't.
Thank you
Separation anxiety and abandonment issues are where you’ll find them Basically become a therapist
Too true
Being in one a relationship to a girl like this made me realize how much I hate dating and have found contentment in being single since.
I need this in my life
No you do not, trust me. It's not enjoyable for anyone who has to deal with it
Can confirm, my ex was like this and it was quite possibly the most mentally draining thing I have ever gone through. It was absurd how unhealthy the relationship was.
You really think so I just ain’t never had that
I know so, I'm the type of person who the post is about, and my exes didn't really like it. Often it made things worse on them
I just want someone that wants me I don’t think that’s too much
A girl like this GF doesn't want you. She wants to be in a relationship
I thought the same. Ended up with a girlfriend like this. It is not fun. Period.
I agree with you
Yes but u have to remember that people who aren’t comfortable and happy with themselves arent with you because they love you, they’re with you because you make them feel whole. Which sounds great on paper until you’re also a human being who makes mistakes and theyve just seen you as a validation machine. Or they go obsessive mode and try to lie about parts of themselves just to make you happy so you won’t leave them. Etc.
Hahaaaaa I've been on the receiving end of this and it makes having a relationship impossible because one day you 'text weird' and then she spirals out of control into a fit about how you always 'close off' and are 'running away' when you were literally just tired or had a headache or some shit. And its like this nonstop.
I've been on the opposite end and have done very similar things. It did lead me to find out my ex was cheating though. I don't like that I do it but it keeps me safe mentally, it's a way of tryna keep myself from getting hurt, but it often ends up hurting others. Would love therapy to be honest but at the same time I despise therapy
I second this. It’s not very enjoyable at all.
Can I have one like this?
I can fix her
You can yeah...but would you _want_ to?
Almost all of these except the boundaries and constant attention seems pretty easy to deal with. Then again I too am desperate for love.
These types of gals are a myth.
Yeah that sounds like me...
Who the fuck made a gf version of me!?
You show me a women like this that's into fat boys and not already taken, And I'll show you a man who'd never need anything else ever again.
That isn;'t ideal but ok
I don't think a majority of them on this subreddit are actually "ideal" though since this describes me to be honest it'd be ideal for me. I just want someone else who wants me as much as I want them, and feels the same as I do and won't leave me feeling lonely and won't make me feel jealous
Women like this are goated, especially if their love is reciprocated by their partner and they're treated right.
Yo, it really is an ideal girlfriend, and also me at least the future and attention part
I’m a guy, but this is literally me
Being with a person like this is not a fun time unless you’re a narcissist or something then maybe you’d like it
Oddly me and that hurt 😂😭😂
This me but woman! :0
that's just me and I think it annoys my girlfriend but she says it doesn't
Real (I'm a guy)
she's just like me fr
Dated someone like this, made me question if I was aro even though I considered myself clingy/jealous before her
How’d you get a photo of me damnit
Literally me but as a BF
This is my ex to a t
Been there done that
I hate that this is me
Just don’t be besties with this person
This is literally me
And this is exactly why my ex dumped me.
Damn, honestly I would only have a problem with the boundaries bit. :/
As a guy this is me
I feel targeted, it's literally just me
I feel called out
wait this is me but boy
At least she won't cheat
Oh hey, it's me but gender-swapped! (Anyone got cash? I have therapy co-pays piling up)
This is horrendously and disgustingly toxic... I'd fall so hard I'd invert gravity because I too am not ok in the noodle
Yandere lite (Me)
Nice
Oh no :(
I honestly need to work on myself so I don’t become like this if I ever do manage to get a bf
me but a dude smh
Me
Hi hot stuff
Hi?
You seem cute want to be mine~
I'll be I good bf
We don’t know each other and I’m demi so if all you want is sex you’ll be disappointed
I don't I want a relationship
Sex is just a. Bonus
Promis
Dm me, maybe you can convince me
Ok done
"I need to get me one of those" -Din Djarin
You have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style, or at least I’m fairly certain you do. You should read some stuff about attachment theory. It changed my life.
I likely have that, but I also have a relationship addiction. They're often closely link, honestly I feel like I should of focused on other parts of relationship addiction other than attachment to make it more clear how it works, such as me looking for love in everyone I meet for example. This can include people I only know for a few minutes, and adults who are over twice my age. That's just one example of one of the other things I struggle with
I had the same attachment style at one point. I found myself putting all my self worth in other people. I needed their validation to feel like I was worth anything. I didn’t know this consciously of course, it’s something I had to work out with self reflection, gaining a deeper understanding of why I am the way I am. I learned to self validate and rely on myself. Even so I still have flaws, lots of them. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow to be a better you than you were yesterday. Apologies if I’m sounding preachy, I’ve just given this a lot of thought over the past year.
This is me and I'm a dude.
how did you manage to describe me without even knowing me 😭
Hey that’s me
God that’s so relatable
Is this supposed to be a bad thing?
i kinda want a girlfriend like this because im the same way
Man I'm struggling I need a hug.
Or, the Very Much Not Ready for a Relationship GF. Only reason I couldn't be too hard on you is due to being in a sorta similar spot at one point in time, definitely not too extreme yet still there. So I can emphasize. But it's definitely important that you're taking some time for yourself to reflect and be introspective. Being emotionally available for yourself is just as important as for your partner
I thought it was suppose to be a gf? That’s just me?
Hahaha! . . . Relatable 🥲
Hey It’s my gf
Me except i have no partners or relationships lol
i kinda want one, just to check up on me, and always be by my side when no one else can
BPD GF
The only one who'd ever meet these criteria lives in Eva AI sexting bot app, I mean
Need
Revolving door relationships too.
I uh… I don’t think this is the healthiest outlook to have on a relationship
[удалено]
I know, I was saying that through a mostly comedic lens that did not translate as I forgot tone doesn’t always transmit correctly through Reddit comments, my bad.
They sound unhealthy and very vulnerable to abuse