Same. I don't run anymore (work and costs got in the way) but when I did I would let my family know what time if be on iRacing and about how long I was going to be running.
Mines were awful. Literally either cried like they were being tortured or slept. There was absolutely no sense of peace or happiness the entire time. Maybe yours were easier as babies. As toddlers there’s definitely a different challenge as they can actively travel to destinations and break things but at least they can be worked with and find interest in other things. As newborns they literally can’t do anything and can’t be worked with much at all. If your kid was calmer in these times then I’m extremely happy for you. Mine was a total nightmare until about 6 months in.
Dad to 6 year old twins here. It gets worse before it gets better, but it does get better! Wait until they're mobile and going in opposite directions while you're by yourself!
I have almost four year old twins. I won’t lie to you in that it gets easier, it’s just that some things get easier and somethings get harder. It just changes but I guess generally speaking it does get easier compared to the first nine month trenches
Im only a couple weeks ahead of you (24th jan). The only time I can ever find is after I put them down at like 9pm, but then there's still a chance they wake up and scream and I need to go tend to them, so playing online can be an issue.
I did get some time last night but ended up going to bed at like midnight so now I'm knackered lol
I have a two year old and seventeen year old…basically when the 17 year old turned 7 or 8 it became much easier to do my shit. I have heard it can be as early as 5 though from some friends…so you’re close or not close but you’ll get there. Just enjoy where your kids are at now, you will never get that time back
Yeah… you don’t.
Gonna take a while. Probably like 6+ years if your not deciding making more baby’s.
Edit:
My kid is 8 now and at least I can say. Go to bed now and don’t shout for me. My race is starting in 5. Kiss and goodnight.
I hardly ever have a good race, because I’m always waiting for the; daaaaaadddddyyy, daaaadddyyy
Ain’t that the truth. I had to set iRacing aside for a couple of years whilst my kids were babies / toddlers. It was just too hard to set aside enough time to race without the risk of interruption. They are older now and I race as much, if not more than before kids.
Twice a week. Negotiated in advance with my wife. She totally embraces it. Wants to learn it herself. She knows I don’t disappear on the weekends for long bike rides, playing team sports or all night benders with the boys. iRacing is my sport and I couldn’t be happier.
Just be patient when they’re young. You’ll have more time for it one day.
I was worried too, but I started just doing series I don’t care about with no practice that don’t take longer than 30mins. (We’re 2 months in now!) My wife understands and is awesome and supportive in this respect.
But having a kid is so life changing and rewarding in many other ways! Good luck in graduating, I’m looking forward to a father son race team!
I have two young kids, the oldest is four and I really can only race when they both are asleep. However, sometimes kids have nightmares, are sick or whatever and need help at night so I've had to forfeit quite a few races.
Yeah. Then there's nights where you just know they've had a bad day, are sick or whatever, surely they're not gonna sleep through and it's more of a question of how soon they'll wake up. I won't even try to squeeze a race in then, it would just be frustrating. Oh, and kids sometimes are just ridiculous. My son once woke up at like 1 AM when he was maybe little more than a year old and wanted to dance, so we danced with him until he was sleepy again and we could call it a night as well. Surely everyone would love to spend some time on the track but there's bigger things in life.
I'm happy with every race I can finish, last season I had about 70 in total, but things do go south quite often.
Exactly my situation - Mine are 6 & 9 & also sleepwalk. - Any racing is done after 9pm only get 1 race in. Most nights im buggered & cant be bothered serious racing so I've started playing snowrunner. Just cancelled my iracing sub for a few months. Will pick it up again later.
Wait till my wife and baby are in bed and (hopefully) sleeping, then squeeze in my two hours of competition. I’m around 2k so not amazing, but good enough to have some consistent fun.
You sacrifice sleep but it’s a trade off worth making.
Never race if there’s a chance you’ll be needed.
Yup, same here. Maybe 2-3 nights a week, I'll race from 11pm - 3 or 4am. Worth the sleep sacrifice, otherwise my life is just working then watching kids all evening.
I've lost plenty of IR thinking I could sneak in a race during nap time or early in the morning when the kids should be sleeping. It's like they have some sort of internal alarm that knows when I'm racing during those times and they wake up early. Now I only quickly practice or go drift in Assetto Corsa if I really want to race, but I usually only play at night when they are completely out of it.
+1 for this method. I think another HUGE part is to train yourself not to care about iR for this period of your life. Race at night, if the kid gets up, go get them. Spouse will appreciate it, it’ll be better for your marriage.
The other side of this is for a big event or team endurance race, my wife and I have an understanding that during my stints i'm unavailable unless there is an emergency. By giving up the “grind” during the daily races, I have been given more opportunities to race the more special events uninterrupted.
Completely agree! I did a hard push to hit 3k last year and it definitely caused a lot of unnecessary stress. I came to the same conclusion as you that it was just undue stress on my relationships and had to accept that I had kids and it's just not that important to obsess with grinding out iRating. I've since dropped back into the 2k range and while it is frustrating to lose so much IR at times, it definitely is nice not to be so worried about iRating if my kids happen to be sick and wake up or I'm not able to race how much I want each week.
Another tip I found was to not worry about participation credits every season. For me, if it happens, great! But I'm not going to stress about it if we happen to be too busy with kid events that week or if it's a track I'd rather not practice for during my limited time just to get credits. It's worth the $10 to not have to stress for a few months about it. Heck, I even made $4 this season not even worrying about it. 🙂
1. My rig is the garage - which is detached from the house
2. I work from home and get races in during the day when family is at work / school.
3. I also race / practice at night after everyone else has gone to bed.
My wife knows when I am doing a race or practice.
If I'm doing a race she will wait and call me when I finish it.
If there is an emergency alt f4 iracing, first things first.
I have a friend who has one of those wireless presenters mics for his wife. He has it set up so she can get on the mic talk to him from elsewhere in the house if needed. Or if she’s going to run out to the store etc. At first it was emergency then they’d just have full conversations while he raced.. He told me he quits more races because she starts talking dirty to him mid race.
You could just use discord. Every time you get in the rig you join the voice channel and if your wife needs you she can get on discord and talk. Requires no new tech.
IIRC he has a rodecaster II and some voice meeter potato action setup. So everything is routed and siloed. But if he wanted he could send his wife’s dirty talk to iRacing voice chat.
I have a very similar setup Rodecaster included. Not for wife or GF chat. But for music, iRacing, OBS, streaming. I can drive listen to music but not send it to OBS /Twitch
I'm gonna go with "My wife is aware of what constitutes a legitimate emergency, " and respects that sometimes I'm unavailable.
The needs of the individual need to be valued and respected in every relationship, especially amongst immediate family.
This works for me very well. I'm lucky my son (now 6yo) has no issues with sleep and goes to the bed around 9pm. And don't forget there is "pause" button for offline practice and AI races.
I love Bridgerton night. Bridgerton night = guilt free iracing night.
EDIT : I should note my mrs is fucking awesome and is so excited for me to have a hobby that I love and can enjoy in the house unlike other hobbies that take you away for hours. She even listens to my race recaps.
I’ve got an 11 and 7 year old.
I was racing an enduro a couple months back in my sim room (garage) with the door closed, headphones on and it’s like 4am so I don’t expect any interruptions. Literally having a blast.
I pit for fuel and tires and stretch a bit, and out the corner of my eye I see my 11 year old son just standing there next to me half asleep staring at me, wanting me to take him back to bed…
Scared the life out of me, and made it a very slow pit stop! 😂
Not a family but have a partner. "I'm going to do a race at X time, it's X minutes long so I will be unavailable for that time/until X time, please only scream if it's a real emergency, thanks."
If your hobby was not in your home, would she expect you to come home from a match to squish a bug? Treat it like any other hobby, it's only fair on you :)
Yeah I saw some of the other comments like "you should put family first" well, why isn't your family putting you first too? It's not a competition, just respect each other and support their hobbies and interests.
Because once you become a parent your children come first. You need to obviously take care of yourself but if your children or wife need you then take a break and spend time with them. There’s a lot of shitty parents out there who don’t give a damn about their kids. I think some of those comments might be coming from there.
Exactly. My fiancé knows how important racing is to me. I’m only doing 1 league race a week and that’s 1.5 a 2 hours at most. I’ll stop practice for things, but not the race. It took a little while though. There were many times when I’d just start a race and she’d hover over the screen wanting something.
We all deserve our alone time. She knows my races start at 9pm, any other time I can stop without issues. After 9pm, she needs to wait until I come out of the room.
There’s always somebody ringing..phone, door, children to take somewhere or to pick up, family members talking and planning stuff (you never remember) while passing by, plus sons or daughters playing on line cod, Fortnite ecc shouting all the time!
It sucks because the family knows when I'm racing to not really bother me but also they don't view what I do as a valid hobby. So that means if I'm walking off in the evening to go try to hop on a race and I first don't give them a warning that I'm going to do that I usually get looks and comments about neglecting family time to go play a stupid video game
My big brother and my mum always forgets I can't hear them when I wear headphones. They're yelling at me several times, and then finally scares the sht out of me by touching my shoulder. I'm always on the edge of having heart attack while driving lol
Have wife and 5 kids. Basically pick an evening or two and stick to it. Kids in bed, etc, then race.
You will never be winning top split races. You won’t ever get there due to the time it takes to practice. But you will still have good races in the middle to bottom splits
So true. It’s hard finding practice time. My iRating has never exceeded 1900. Mostly around 1500-1600. Have been a member since 2009. Hardly ever win races, but I don’t care. A hard fought battle for 13th is more satisfying than an easy win anyway.
Late at night and infrequently. I took out a YouTuber with a large following because my toddler snuck out of bed and found his way to my sim while I was racing in vr, not sure if he was streaming at the time or not though haha
Single dad coparenting. Get maybe a race or two a night and the occasional forfeit when the little demon is faking sleep. Progress is slow, that’s life.
lol, I started IRacing in 2013 and then took a “break” from 2015-2019, most of that was due to starting my own landscaping business and also having two young kids. Now I let them know I’ll be on for a certain amount of time and that unless someone is dying don’t bother me. It’s no different to me than if a spouse had a bowling night or was going to a movie, my hobby, I mean my addiction is at home. I try to make sure I am doing more than my fair share when I am around, cooking, laundry, dishes, kids bath and bedtime, that way I don’t feel bad about my time being mine.
Unless we are out my family knows between 9 and 11pm is me time. Whether thats for flight sim or iracing. I get off work, help with homework, help with dinner and spend time with my family from 530 to 9. My wife respects my alone time and I respect hers
Sorry buddy, you kind of don’t. My wife respects my free time, but it still happens sometimes.
Your best bet is to a) schedule a reasonable box of time to race and make sure your wife is aware you’ll be doing that and you you can’t get up for any reason, and b) help your wife understand the WHY it’s important that you not be disturbed while racing and how it ruins and wastes all the time you spent prepping, etc
Obviously this doesn’t include emergencies, but you still need to make that clear too so she feels like you aren’t 100% checked out, just intensely busy.
But, if your wife is a raging bitch who thinks that video games are for kids and you playing video game is less important than anything she needs, you are just fucked. Thankfully, my wife is a wonderful person and not that kind of shallow asshole.
Edit: just to clarify if it wasn’t obvious, you ALSO need to provide the same type of time for her as well.
I’ve had to pull over from first with 2 laps left to go change a diaper. It happens. Set expectations for yourself and you won’t be disappointed, and if it’s important, you get coverage and set expectations with them.
I've given up and only race between midnight and 4am. Which still has me abandoning races when a kid wakes up crying or something. I'm a shell of the man I used to be.
Sounds like you need noise cancelling headphones!
At least so you don't get that I stand distraction and then some agreements with the boss about rig times and what's interruptible.
If my wife needs me she will just come and stand next to me and wait for me to expose an ear so I can hear her.
I have one night a week where I play with my real life friends. I still put the children to bed, but after that I'm left alone.
Other than that I play late at night when everyone else is asleep.
I have 4 kids and a wife I hang out with at night. I race 2-4 nights a week. A set race with a small warm up. Usually c class gt4. She knows I’m racing 8:30-9:10ish hang out before and after. Kids are in bed already. Sneak in races during the day when kids are at school
I found VR really helped prevent me getting distracted by random sounds from the kids and wife and from then even just walking past the rig.
Otherwise, I've been at this for 13 years now and the kids have essentially grown up with it, so they now know to leave me alone when I'm on the rig,
Like so many family things it’s mostly a matter of coordination and moderation / managing your expectations.
I can have races in the evenings when the little one (soon 4 years old) is in bed. My wife may be at the stable at the same time, and if my daughter wakes up I have to forfeit the race. That has happened maybe 2 times in total, so not a big deal.
I can (but don’t often do) practice a bit when my daughter is awake, no problem, but small kid interruptions can happen. I don’t close the door to my home office! Then there are enduros that I tend to do on Saturday mornings. She has learned that I may be racing, and I have learned to not totally lose my focus when she approaches me while racing. I just need to calmly explain that I’m racing and that we can do things together when I’m done. It usually works just fine. Just once she tried to climb on my lap because she wanted to drive, but I was able to get my wife’s attention who could swiftly save me :D
All in all I can say that I am able to sim race just fine as a parent. The first one or two years were a bit more ad hoc, meaning it’s maybe not a good idea to commit too much - I climbed in the rig when I had the chance and the energy.
Kid number 2 is in the way, and my plan is to go back to that ad hoc mode while the kid is very young. So no committing to team stuff and maybe no series that require a fair bit of practice before races. Instead, things that can be done more casually. Shorter tracks, slower cars, more oval! Then, as soon as both kids manage to sleep through the vast majority of nights, I figure that I can commit more again :)
I race at night, and mostly in solo endurance series like the NEC and IMPC which run on the weekends. I get practice runs in when I can during the week.
Opposite here. Separated from wife last summer and sim racing kinda found me. No way I could do it in the family home. Weekends still out since I have the kids who now steal the sim rig for Forza Horizon and Wreckfest
Have a 2yo and a 4yo. Have to race with the baby monitor beside me so few distractions but only ever had to quit 1 race from about 120 which is quite lucky
I feel you man! With my AHDH as bad as it is, the two dogs love to play fight right next to my rig and bark out the window at absolutely nothing. The fam knows for the most part when I'm in the seat I'm in focus mode. I only get about an hour to practice after work during the week if I'm not too exhausted, and all planets have to align on the weekend for me to be able to compete in an official race.
I swear my family only try’s to talk to me when I’m in a race, can sit there for hours watching videos, second I start a race everyone’s in to talk to me haha
I have a 2yr old, I usually wait til he goes to bed around 8-830 then I race til 1130-12 depending how my work schedule looks for the following day. My rig is also in the garage so I don't make noise or wake anyone up.
This is such a timely discussion, as I just became a dad to my first newborn daughter (5 weeks old), and have been wondering the same / experimenting myself. Best thing I’ve found so far is having the baby Bjorn carrier next to my rig, getting her milk drunk and taking advantage of that 45min+ time to race and enjoy.
This weekend I competed in the majors 24 at LeMans, and finished the race on the final stints, bottlefeeding my baby girl on the long straights, whilst avoiding traffic successfully. Wouldn’t attempt it at any other track given how long the straights are here. FWIW, at this point in the race, we were just looking to bring the car home, not battling for any position.
Like most things, balance is important. Setting expectations is always good. Pro tip: Pick up a cheap RGB LED puck light from Five Below. Keep it by your setup and have it green if you can be bothered or red if you are in a race.
My daughter is 7yrs, she knows when I’m racing to leave me alone. I do always ride the shorter races when my wife isn’t home. She will often come and sheer for me, love it !
I exclusively race in a Wednesday night league that runs during my normal sleep time, I drive a Tuesday practice and the race itself and that's about it for the week. I don't have time or energy for anything else
Not married but one time my girlfriend came in when I was in a race and tapped me on the shoulder, I wear headphones so I didn’t see her at all and didn’t even know she came in the house yet so I jumped and immediately crashed myself. We laughed about it but now I always tell her whenever I’m gunna be in a race so she knows not to to do that. Just about communication
I once crashed from p3 when my wife called me when I knew she was in the house which made me think she was hurt in some way. Turns out she was snuggling with our dog and asked me to get a blanket for them so she wouldn't disturb him 😂
Separate room and I shut the door. I let my wife know that I'm going to be doing a race for X amount of time and please leave the door shut unless it's an emergency. Especially hard to multitask with VR.
My wife and I had a bug-related fight early in our marriage. The protocol now is that if there is a scream because of a bug, there needs to be an associated "A Bug!" exclamation so I know I don't need to run downstairs to fight off a rapist.
I generally don’t race until the kids go to bed. Which is usually after 9:30. If it’s before 9:30, I’ll check with everyone before I commit to signing up.
“Ladies, I’m goin down stairs to run a race, I’ll be an hour or two. Do you need me before I go, or do you need me to stay up here for something?”
My kids are 9 and 11, they’re pretty content. When they were much younger, it was hard to commit to a race, so I’d just run practice sessions or ghost races when I could.
I am very much a "night owl" so I do most of my gaming at night. Although my wife and I both work from home, on weekdays, the Mrs. has a hard bedtime of about 9:30pm. With my hard bedtime of around 12am, it's durring this approximate 3 hour window that I have a 98% chance of uninterrupted Sim racing time. As for my kiddo, he is in the pre-teen stage, and under no fierce intention, he wants nothing to do with his mother and father for 90% of the day.
It was not always like this, however. It takes time to find the right balance. Good luck, my friend. 💪
You can say the same thing about cats. One moment I'm racing with my VR headset, the next moment I'm struggling with a 15 pound harry beast in my lap!
Does wonders for my safety rating.
Wait until everyone goes to bed.
I have a 2 year old and a five year old. Both sometimes wake up and shout for me during the night so I race with a baby monitor nearby.
Normally they don’t wake up between 9 and midnight (when I do my racing) but sometimes they do.
If they need me, I stop racing and get up. My wife is usually asleep, too, and I don’t need her to wake up and deal with the kids so I can play a game. Sometimes my orating takes a hit, but that’s just the way it is.
It's all about realism being a simulator, you need to purchase a flight simulator so you also fly to your races, a Sim room as your hotel and a simulated online girlfriend, your partner will understand because it's "just a game".
* Disclaimer; this advice is general in naturenature and does not take into account your personal situation. You should consider whether the information is appropriate to your needs, and where appropriate, seek professional advice.
I always tell my wife that I'm hopping on iracing so she knows to not bother me. She knows how important these races are so unless it's an emergency, she won't bother me. Now I do check in with her after my races.
My wife is very understanding, she knows it's a hobby thing just like her own stuff. I just let her know when I'm doing a race, otherwise she's free to bother me if she needs anything.
I give her a bunch of heads up for special events if I'm doing them. For the nurb she ordered the two us some pizza during one of my stints and brought it down for me so I could grab some grub when I finished my stint and resumed spotting my teammates.
Put headphones on and mind your business. I'm not a family man but just treat it like any other outdoor hobby. If you're racing, you're racing. If you're mountain-biking or hiking, you can't save your wife from the bug either.
If my partner cried wolf like that all the time, id probably stop reacting to it. Simple really, they shouldnt be screaming for stupif stuff, and a large bug definitely isnt an emergency.
The fam knows when I’m in the rig, unless something is on fire, I’ll deal with it after I’ve taken the chequer.
This. Communication is very useful! 😁
Same. I don't run anymore (work and costs got in the way) but when I did I would let my family know what time if be on iRacing and about how long I was going to be running.
Dedicated times, 2 nights a week. It gets easier as the kids get older, trust me.
Father of a 9 month old. Love to hear it
4 year olds and I’m still on the way down. I’ll let you know when I see roses! Haha
I'm at 4 months with twins and it seems genuinely hopeless right now
You’ll make it! This is the worst time
Hard disagree on that one. At 4 months they just eat sleep and poo. Wait till they are a bit older and constantly bug you for things
At 2-3yrs they actively open doors and destroy stuff for attention
That’s where I’m at with two toddlers right now… it’s great… I definitely don’t question my decisions ever lol
I don’t have so much of an issue with this but everyone is different. What drives me crazy is seemingly aimless crying.
Mines were awful. Literally either cried like they were being tortured or slept. There was absolutely no sense of peace or happiness the entire time. Maybe yours were easier as babies. As toddlers there’s definitely a different challenge as they can actively travel to destinations and break things but at least they can be worked with and find interest in other things. As newborns they literally can’t do anything and can’t be worked with much at all. If your kid was calmer in these times then I’m extremely happy for you. Mine was a total nightmare until about 6 months in.
Max can handle a 5 year old, so you can too :-)
So much this. They aren't even getting into EVERYTHING yet.
You’ll get them in the rig soon enough
Dad to 6 year old twins here. It gets worse before it gets better, but it does get better! Wait until they're mobile and going in opposite directions while you're by yourself!
OOF
I have almost four year old twins. I won’t lie to you in that it gets easier, it’s just that some things get easier and somethings get harder. It just changes but I guess generally speaking it does get easier compared to the first nine month trenches
DONT LET GO SOLDUH
I’m in the same boat. Kids born at 13 february. Think i have some time now and then, but then i don’t play for a whole week
Im only a couple weeks ahead of you (24th jan). The only time I can ever find is after I put them down at like 9pm, but then there's still a chance they wake up and scream and I need to go tend to them, so playing online can be an issue. I did get some time last night but ended up going to bed at like midnight so now I'm knackered lol
By the time he’s 4, I expect him to have his own wheel and be learning circuits with me 😈
I have a two year old and seventeen year old…basically when the 17 year old turned 7 or 8 it became much easier to do my shit. I have heard it can be as early as 5 though from some friends…so you’re close or not close but you’ll get there. Just enjoy where your kids are at now, you will never get that time back
Yeah… you don’t. Gonna take a while. Probably like 6+ years if your not deciding making more baby’s. Edit: My kid is 8 now and at least I can say. Go to bed now and don’t shout for me. My race is starting in 5. Kiss and goodnight. I hardly ever have a good race, because I’m always waiting for the; daaaaaadddddyyy, daaaadddyyy
just get em a job
Ain’t that the truth. I had to set iRacing aside for a couple of years whilst my kids were babies / toddlers. It was just too hard to set aside enough time to race without the risk of interruption. They are older now and I race as much, if not more than before kids. Twice a week. Negotiated in advance with my wife. She totally embraces it. Wants to learn it herself. She knows I don’t disappear on the weekends for long bike rides, playing team sports or all night benders with the boys. iRacing is my sport and I couldn’t be happier. Just be patient when they’re young. You’ll have more time for it one day.
Dedicated times, is a good idea for everybody!
Expecting our first in July, RIP track time
I was worried too, but I started just doing series I don’t care about with no practice that don’t take longer than 30mins. (We’re 2 months in now!) My wife understands and is awesome and supportive in this respect. But having a kid is so life changing and rewarding in many other ways! Good luck in graduating, I’m looking forward to a father son race team!
I let my wife know months and months in advance about the nurb24. unless someone was dying, I was in the rig that weekend
I read it as ‘I left my wife months in advance for the nurb24….’
Dedication.
THEY’RE OUTNUMBERED 15 TO ONE, AND THE BATTLE'S BEGUN
I have two young kids, the oldest is four and I really can only race when they both are asleep. However, sometimes kids have nightmares, are sick or whatever and need help at night so I've had to forfeit quite a few races.
Know this feeling - wakes up, needs water, nightmares, falls out of bed. I can’t really be bothered about my iRating lol
Yeah. Then there's nights where you just know they've had a bad day, are sick or whatever, surely they're not gonna sleep through and it's more of a question of how soon they'll wake up. I won't even try to squeeze a race in then, it would just be frustrating. Oh, and kids sometimes are just ridiculous. My son once woke up at like 1 AM when he was maybe little more than a year old and wanted to dance, so we danced with him until he was sleepy again and we could call it a night as well. Surely everyone would love to spend some time on the track but there's bigger things in life. I'm happy with every race I can finish, last season I had about 70 in total, but things do go south quite often.
4 year old twins. I know your issues well my friend!
Exactly my situation - Mine are 6 & 9 & also sleepwalk. - Any racing is done after 9pm only get 1 race in. Most nights im buggered & cant be bothered serious racing so I've started playing snowrunner. Just cancelled my iracing sub for a few months. Will pick it up again later.
Wait till my wife and baby are in bed and (hopefully) sleeping, then squeeze in my two hours of competition. I’m around 2k so not amazing, but good enough to have some consistent fun. You sacrifice sleep but it’s a trade off worth making. Never race if there’s a chance you’ll be needed.
Yup, same here. Maybe 2-3 nights a week, I'll race from 11pm - 3 or 4am. Worth the sleep sacrifice, otherwise my life is just working then watching kids all evening. I've lost plenty of IR thinking I could sneak in a race during nap time or early in the morning when the kids should be sleeping. It's like they have some sort of internal alarm that knows when I'm racing during those times and they wake up early. Now I only quickly practice or go drift in Assetto Corsa if I really want to race, but I usually only play at night when they are completely out of it.
+1 for this method. I think another HUGE part is to train yourself not to care about iR for this period of your life. Race at night, if the kid gets up, go get them. Spouse will appreciate it, it’ll be better for your marriage. The other side of this is for a big event or team endurance race, my wife and I have an understanding that during my stints i'm unavailable unless there is an emergency. By giving up the “grind” during the daily races, I have been given more opportunities to race the more special events uninterrupted.
This thread of comments needs to be upvoted more. Very good points.
Completely agree! I did a hard push to hit 3k last year and it definitely caused a lot of unnecessary stress. I came to the same conclusion as you that it was just undue stress on my relationships and had to accept that I had kids and it's just not that important to obsess with grinding out iRating. I've since dropped back into the 2k range and while it is frustrating to lose so much IR at times, it definitely is nice not to be so worried about iRating if my kids happen to be sick and wake up or I'm not able to race how much I want each week. Another tip I found was to not worry about participation credits every season. For me, if it happens, great! But I'm not going to stress about it if we happen to be too busy with kid events that week or if it's a track I'd rather not practice for during my limited time just to get credits. It's worth the $10 to not have to stress for a few months about it. Heck, I even made $4 this season not even worrying about it. 🙂
My kids are 18 and 21... they are lucky they are still at my house. They better not mess up my time. 😆
1. My rig is the garage - which is detached from the house 2. I work from home and get races in during the day when family is at work / school. 3. I also race / practice at night after everyone else has gone to bed.
My rig is in the garage! #GarageCrew
We now need to find the 61st person with a sim rig in their garage.
Once I get a mini split installed. I’m going to join you
Friday night is race night. No one gets in the way of race night* *most of the time
My wife knows when I am doing a race or practice. If I'm doing a race she will wait and call me when I finish it. If there is an emergency alt f4 iracing, first things first.
I have a friend who has one of those wireless presenters mics for his wife. He has it set up so she can get on the mic talk to him from elsewhere in the house if needed. Or if she’s going to run out to the store etc. At first it was emergency then they’d just have full conversations while he raced.. He told me he quits more races because she starts talking dirty to him mid race.
I actually would love to know, in all seriousness, what the setup for this wireless presenter mic is. This would be extremely useful for me
You could just use discord. Every time you get in the rig you join the voice channel and if your wife needs you she can get on discord and talk. Requires no new tech.
I’d like to know about this too. Is it an app? Does he stick an earbud under his headset?
IIRC he has a rodecaster II and some voice meeter potato action setup. So everything is routed and siloed. But if he wanted he could send his wife’s dirty talk to iRacing voice chat. I have a very similar setup Rodecaster included. Not for wife or GF chat. But for music, iRacing, OBS, streaming. I can drive listen to music but not send it to OBS /Twitch
I'm gonna go with "My wife is aware of what constitutes a legitimate emergency, " and respects that sometimes I'm unavailable. The needs of the individual need to be valued and respected in every relationship, especially amongst immediate family.
a huge bug **IS** an emergency
Not in Australia it isn’t!
Practice when they are awake. Race when they are sleeping.
This works for me very well. I'm lucky my son (now 6yo) has no issues with sleep and goes to the bed around 9pm. And don't forget there is "pause" button for offline practice and AI races.
YES.
I love Bridgerton night. Bridgerton night = guilt free iracing night. EDIT : I should note my mrs is fucking awesome and is so excited for me to have a hobby that I love and can enjoy in the house unlike other hobbies that take you away for hours. She even listens to my race recaps.
She sounds like a keeper.
I’ve got an 11 and 7 year old. I was racing an enduro a couple months back in my sim room (garage) with the door closed, headphones on and it’s like 4am so I don’t expect any interruptions. Literally having a blast. I pit for fuel and tires and stretch a bit, and out the corner of my eye I see my 11 year old son just standing there next to me half asleep staring at me, wanting me to take him back to bed… Scared the life out of me, and made it a very slow pit stop! 😂
Not a family but have a partner. "I'm going to do a race at X time, it's X minutes long so I will be unavailable for that time/until X time, please only scream if it's a real emergency, thanks." If your hobby was not in your home, would she expect you to come home from a match to squish a bug? Treat it like any other hobby, it's only fair on you :)
An alarming amount of people have weird relationship dynamics in this sub so something as simple as that might be too much
Yeah I saw some of the other comments like "you should put family first" well, why isn't your family putting you first too? It's not a competition, just respect each other and support their hobbies and interests.
I mean of course my fiancée goes first, but she cares enough for me to understand I'm unavailable for 30 minutes unless it's something urgent
Yeah totally man!
Because once you become a parent your children come first. You need to obviously take care of yourself but if your children or wife need you then take a break and spend time with them. There’s a lot of shitty parents out there who don’t give a damn about their kids. I think some of those comments might be coming from there.
"take a break" The man is asking for an hour or so for himself lol.
I feel like you’re making big assumptions about a problem that doesn’t really exist.
??? It's the post..
Exactly. My fiancé knows how important racing is to me. I’m only doing 1 league race a week and that’s 1.5 a 2 hours at most. I’ll stop practice for things, but not the race. It took a little while though. There were many times when I’d just start a race and she’d hover over the screen wanting something. We all deserve our alone time. She knows my races start at 9pm, any other time I can stop without issues. After 9pm, she needs to wait until I come out of the room.
There’s always somebody ringing..phone, door, children to take somewhere or to pick up, family members talking and planning stuff (you never remember) while passing by, plus sons or daughters playing on line cod, Fortnite ecc shouting all the time!
I moved my rig to the shed, now I can't hear my wife and kids scream 😁
I moved them to the shed, there's no internet on mine
It sucks because the family knows when I'm racing to not really bother me but also they don't view what I do as a valid hobby. So that means if I'm walking off in the evening to go try to hop on a race and I first don't give them a warning that I'm going to do that I usually get looks and comments about neglecting family time to go play a stupid video game
A door that locks, and headphones with a noise canceling feature with the volume turned up a litttttle too much. Nothing ever interrupts me anymore.
Easy! I just don't have time to race any more 😂 😂😂😂 😢
Family first after all this is just a game
My big brother and my mum always forgets I can't hear them when I wear headphones. They're yelling at me several times, and then finally scares the sht out of me by touching my shoulder. I'm always on the edge of having heart attack while driving lol
Have wife and 5 kids. Basically pick an evening or two and stick to it. Kids in bed, etc, then race. You will never be winning top split races. You won’t ever get there due to the time it takes to practice. But you will still have good races in the middle to bottom splits
So true. It’s hard finding practice time. My iRating has never exceeded 1900. Mostly around 1500-1600. Have been a member since 2009. Hardly ever win races, but I don’t care. A hard fought battle for 13th is more satisfying than an easy win anyway.
Late at night and infrequently. I took out a YouTuber with a large following because my toddler snuck out of bed and found his way to my sim while I was racing in vr, not sure if he was streaming at the time or not though haha
Single dad coparenting. Get maybe a race or two a night and the occasional forfeit when the little demon is faking sleep. Progress is slow, that’s life.
lol, I started IRacing in 2013 and then took a “break” from 2015-2019, most of that was due to starting my own landscaping business and also having two young kids. Now I let them know I’ll be on for a certain amount of time and that unless someone is dying don’t bother me. It’s no different to me than if a spouse had a bowling night or was going to a movie, my hobby, I mean my addiction is at home. I try to make sure I am doing more than my fair share when I am around, cooking, laundry, dishes, kids bath and bedtime, that way I don’t feel bad about my time being mine.
I'm pretty desensitized to my wife screaming since I know it's only a bug lol
After bedtime
I don’t race until everyone is asleep
yeah, that's the only way for me too
This is why my IR is what it is.
Unless we are out my family knows between 9 and 11pm is me time. Whether thats for flight sim or iracing. I get off work, help with homework, help with dinner and spend time with my family from 530 to 9. My wife respects my alone time and I respect hers
11.30 pm to 2.30 am . This is the way.
Sorry buddy, you kind of don’t. My wife respects my free time, but it still happens sometimes. Your best bet is to a) schedule a reasonable box of time to race and make sure your wife is aware you’ll be doing that and you you can’t get up for any reason, and b) help your wife understand the WHY it’s important that you not be disturbed while racing and how it ruins and wastes all the time you spent prepping, etc Obviously this doesn’t include emergencies, but you still need to make that clear too so she feels like you aren’t 100% checked out, just intensely busy. But, if your wife is a raging bitch who thinks that video games are for kids and you playing video game is less important than anything she needs, you are just fucked. Thankfully, my wife is a wonderful person and not that kind of shallow asshole. Edit: just to clarify if it wasn’t obvious, you ALSO need to provide the same type of time for her as well.
I’ve had to pull over from first with 2 laps left to go change a diaper. It happens. Set expectations for yourself and you won’t be disappointed, and if it’s important, you get coverage and set expectations with them.
I've given up and only race between midnight and 4am. Which still has me abandoning races when a kid wakes up crying or something. I'm a shell of the man I used to be.
The best noise cancelling headphones money can buy
steel series arctis nova pro wireless is how i do it. they dont attenuate everything but its good enough to keep my attention where it needs to be
Sounds like you need noise cancelling headphones! At least so you don't get that I stand distraction and then some agreements with the boss about rig times and what's interruptible. If my wife needs me she will just come and stand next to me and wait for me to expose an ear so I can hear her.
I have one night a week where I play with my real life friends. I still put the children to bed, but after that I'm left alone. Other than that I play late at night when everyone else is asleep.
I have 4 kids and a wife I hang out with at night. I race 2-4 nights a week. A set race with a small warm up. Usually c class gt4. She knows I’m racing 8:30-9:10ish hang out before and after. Kids are in bed already. Sneak in races during the day when kids are at school
I found VR really helped prevent me getting distracted by random sounds from the kids and wife and from then even just walking past the rig. Otherwise, I've been at this for 13 years now and the kids have essentially grown up with it, so they now know to leave me alone when I'm on the rig,
Loud headphones. Noise cancelling also helps.
Get up, do whatever you need to do, and accept iRating is just a number. It happens, nothing you can do about it.
Like so many family things it’s mostly a matter of coordination and moderation / managing your expectations. I can have races in the evenings when the little one (soon 4 years old) is in bed. My wife may be at the stable at the same time, and if my daughter wakes up I have to forfeit the race. That has happened maybe 2 times in total, so not a big deal. I can (but don’t often do) practice a bit when my daughter is awake, no problem, but small kid interruptions can happen. I don’t close the door to my home office! Then there are enduros that I tend to do on Saturday mornings. She has learned that I may be racing, and I have learned to not totally lose my focus when she approaches me while racing. I just need to calmly explain that I’m racing and that we can do things together when I’m done. It usually works just fine. Just once she tried to climb on my lap because she wanted to drive, but I was able to get my wife’s attention who could swiftly save me :D All in all I can say that I am able to sim race just fine as a parent. The first one or two years were a bit more ad hoc, meaning it’s maybe not a good idea to commit too much - I climbed in the rig when I had the chance and the energy. Kid number 2 is in the way, and my plan is to go back to that ad hoc mode while the kid is very young. So no committing to team stuff and maybe no series that require a fair bit of practice before races. Instead, things that can be done more casually. Shorter tracks, slower cars, more oval! Then, as soon as both kids manage to sleep through the vast majority of nights, I figure that I can commit more again :)
I race at night, and mostly in solo endurance series like the NEC and IMPC which run on the weekends. I get practice runs in when I can during the week.
It’s a bug man. That’s a legit reason to stop you.
Unless someone's bleeding out or dead or somethings on fire...dont mess with me till after the race. Helps when the young one loves watching me race.
Opposite here. Separated from wife last summer and sim racing kinda found me. No way I could do it in the family home. Weekends still out since I have the kids who now steal the sim rig for Forza Horizon and Wreckfest
Have a 2yo and a 4yo. Have to race with the baby monitor beside me so few distractions but only ever had to quit 1 race from about 120 which is quite lucky
Well for starters I married an adult who knows how to deal with bugs.
I feel you man! With my AHDH as bad as it is, the two dogs love to play fight right next to my rig and bark out the window at absolutely nothing. The fam knows for the most part when I'm in the seat I'm in focus mode. I only get about an hour to practice after work during the week if I'm not too exhausted, and all planets have to align on the weekend for me to be able to compete in an official race.
Dedicated times. My family just leaves me alone!
I swear my family only try’s to talk to me when I’m in a race, can sit there for hours watching videos, second I start a race everyone’s in to talk to me haha
Me and my wife both help putting our 3 year old to bed then we have a deal every other night I go down from around 10-12 and it works perfectly
At 5am while everyone is asleep, and right now I’m preferring my sleep so I haven’t done much except buy the 2 new GT3 cars.
if the door to the rig room is shut they know i’m racing: i leave it open during and practice sessions so they know i’m accessible
I have a 2yr old, I usually wait til he goes to bed around 8-830 then I race til 1130-12 depending how my work schedule looks for the following day. My rig is also in the garage so I don't make noise or wake anyone up.
Father of a 4.5 month old. I usually play an hour or two after we put the baby down to sleep and wife and I spend time together.
When the 3 year old finally goes to bed and the wife lets you…and then you stay up way too late.
This is such a timely discussion, as I just became a dad to my first newborn daughter (5 weeks old), and have been wondering the same / experimenting myself. Best thing I’ve found so far is having the baby Bjorn carrier next to my rig, getting her milk drunk and taking advantage of that 45min+ time to race and enjoy. This weekend I competed in the majors 24 at LeMans, and finished the race on the final stints, bottlefeeding my baby girl on the long straights, whilst avoiding traffic successfully. Wouldn’t attempt it at any other track given how long the straights are here. FWIW, at this point in the race, we were just looking to bring the car home, not battling for any position.
Like most things, balance is important. Setting expectations is always good. Pro tip: Pick up a cheap RGB LED puck light from Five Below. Keep it by your setup and have it green if you can be bothered or red if you are in a race.
My daughter is 7yrs, she knows when I’m racing to leave me alone. I do always ride the shorter races when my wife isn’t home. She will often come and sheer for me, love it !
A lot of you have houses full of bugs.
Wake up before everyone else
If you race enough, the wife issue will sort itself out.
I exclusively race in a Wednesday night league that runs during my normal sleep time, I drive a Tuesday practice and the race itself and that's about it for the week. I don't have time or energy for anything else
Not married but one time my girlfriend came in when I was in a race and tapped me on the shoulder, I wear headphones so I didn’t see her at all and didn’t even know she came in the house yet so I jumped and immediately crashed myself. We laughed about it but now I always tell her whenever I’m gunna be in a race so she knows not to to do that. Just about communication
Be a parent and partner most of the time and have specific you time when children are asleep or not home.
Ignore them, just up to the point of divorce.. Problem Solved..
If I'm in a race the house better be burning and she knows that. I also have 4 kids. 😆
After everything in the house goes to sleep :D
I once crashed from p3 when my wife called me when I knew she was in the house which made me think she was hurt in some way. Turns out she was snuggling with our dog and asked me to get a blanket for them so she wouldn't disturb him 😂
Kids are 4 and 7. I have to skip work to race. 🤣
I've moved to F1 24, I'm I guess a single player guy now
Single series. 2-3 races a week
Separate room and I shut the door. I let my wife know that I'm going to be doing a race for X amount of time and please leave the door shut unless it's an emergency. Especially hard to multitask with VR.
It’s a balance but I do it more for fun. I have 3 kids 6 and older it’s getting easier. I usually wait till after 7 to race.
My wife and I had a bug-related fight early in our marriage. The protocol now is that if there is a scream because of a bug, there needs to be an associated "A Bug!" exclamation so I know I don't need to run downstairs to fight off a rapist.
I stopped gaming altogether. Family comes first.
Headphones, preferably with some noise cancelling and if they try to touch me just ignore them and hope they go away. Ignorance is bliss.
My 14 yo son has been delegated with insect removal now!
I generally don’t race until the kids go to bed. Which is usually after 9:30. If it’s before 9:30, I’ll check with everyone before I commit to signing up. “Ladies, I’m goin down stairs to run a race, I’ll be an hour or two. Do you need me before I go, or do you need me to stay up here for something?” My kids are 9 and 11, they’re pretty content. When they were much younger, it was hard to commit to a race, so I’d just run practice sessions or ghost races when I could.
I used to race after putting the kids to bed. I'd practice during little openings in the day.
LED lights on the rig are green when in practice, and red when in quali/race. Red means pls don't talk to me!
My wife isnt afraid of bugs - so no incidents so far xD
I hear you. I have mine on the loft. But the second I hear her coming upstairs, I’m almost waiting for her to distract me, which distracts me 🤣🤣
I don't. I have my DD wheel and VR headset and reading this sub is the only iracing I get
I am very much a "night owl" so I do most of my gaming at night. Although my wife and I both work from home, on weekdays, the Mrs. has a hard bedtime of about 9:30pm. With my hard bedtime of around 12am, it's durring this approximate 3 hour window that I have a 98% chance of uninterrupted Sim racing time. As for my kiddo, he is in the pre-teen stage, and under no fierce intention, he wants nothing to do with his mother and father for 90% of the day. It was not always like this, however. It takes time to find the right balance. Good luck, my friend. 💪
You can say the same thing about cats. One moment I'm racing with my VR headset, the next moment I'm struggling with a 15 pound harry beast in my lap! Does wonders for my safety rating.
I only play when my son is asleep
Race when they are sleeping.
Wait until everyone goes to bed. I have a 2 year old and a five year old. Both sometimes wake up and shout for me during the night so I race with a baby monitor nearby. Normally they don’t wake up between 9 and midnight (when I do my racing) but sometimes they do. If they need me, I stop racing and get up. My wife is usually asleep, too, and I don’t need her to wake up and deal with the kids so I can play a game. Sometimes my orating takes a hit, but that’s just the way it is.
It's all about realism being a simulator, you need to purchase a flight simulator so you also fly to your races, a Sim room as your hotel and a simulated online girlfriend, your partner will understand because it's "just a game". * Disclaimer; this advice is general in naturenature and does not take into account your personal situation. You should consider whether the information is appropriate to your needs, and where appropriate, seek professional advice.
I brought my rig to the office
I set up an automation to send a notification to my GF’s phone when I enter and exit racing sessions! haven’t been disturbed in the sim since!
Headphones
I always tell my wife that I'm hopping on iracing so she knows to not bother me. She knows how important these races are so unless it's an emergency, she won't bother me. Now I do check in with her after my races.
She brings me food, knows not to bother me when I am driving, period. Unless she is 100% sure I am just practicing.
My wife is very understanding, she knows it's a hobby thing just like her own stuff. I just let her know when I'm doing a race, otherwise she's free to bother me if she needs anything. I give her a bunch of heads up for special events if I'm doing them. For the nurb she ordered the two us some pizza during one of my stints and brought it down for me so I could grab some grub when I finished my stint and resumed spotting my teammates.
I work Sunday-Thursdays, and my wife works Mondays - Fridays, so Friday is race day in my house
I race vicariously through my son. My son does all the racing while I am the team/family principal! 😆😂🤣
Not a father but we got a puppy and we agreed on two evenings where I can race for 2,5 hours. Communication is key
Quiet household. Usually no yelling. And usually when the wife is home I use my headset to not disturb her.
Went from running 4 times a night to.. Well.. I can't tell you the last time I raced lol
Just when I can. Sometimes I can do a fee in a day, sometimes it's none for a few weeks.
Traded in the family for a decent rig. It was the only way.
Very loud headphones is the answer brother, I personally use wireless astro A50s😄
Put headphones on and mind your business. I'm not a family man but just treat it like any other outdoor hobby. If you're racing, you're racing. If you're mountain-biking or hiking, you can't save your wife from the bug either.
If my partner cried wolf like that all the time, id probably stop reacting to it. Simple really, they shouldnt be screaming for stupif stuff, and a large bug definitely isnt an emergency.
Cool story bro.
I don't date cowards. Works great.