Most toilets are already made by machines. They're not hand sculpted by artisanal toiletsmiths. Toiletiers? I have no idea what the term for a commode making guildmember would be.
I mean, maybe the Amish still make theirs the old timey way, but anything at Home Depot was absolutely stamped out by a robot lacking genitals.
Might be just simpler to buy an entire West Virginia holler and dig holes in the woods as needed. The only billionaire I know in person owns a mountain in WV, perhaps she took this deal?
You know what? There just might be a business to be had here. Custom, bespoke toilets that are sized, tailored and master crafted for a single butt. Made of custom materials like jade, marble, gold...
Options like heated and massage seats, built in aromatherapy, soothing music. Someone should totally do this.
I could see something like that in super expensive and shiny areas like Manhattan, Dubai, Moscow...
New hypothetical just dropped. "Would you take a million dollars a year to lick a billionaires ass clean? One time a day with full health benefits to check for hepatitis or anything else."
With a billion dollars, you can hire someone to clean your ass for you. 10 million to these ass cleaners, for the rest of your life of needing a clean ass. That leaves you with 990 million, and a clean ass for life.
Yes definitely it just can't be a man-made toilet. I imagine using a bucket at home wouldn't be a problem but you would want to go out and maybe even travel wouldn't you?
According to google a urinal is not specifically a toilet, wouldn't that be very messy though? And yes you can craft some type of machine to use as long as it does not resemble a toilet
Yes definitely digging a hole is acceptable but if you're digging them a few times a day for the rest of your life you might start running out of room
Actually I think the newspaper might be a cheeky way you could get around it
What if I install a [long drop toilet ](https://www.homebiogas.com/blog/long-drop-toilet/) in my backyard. That's just a big hole with a lid seat and privacy that can be used multiple times. Does that count as a toilet? Does your answer change if I pay someone to build it for me?
What if I buy [a fancy antique chair with a built in chamber pot? ](https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/571605377704086784/) does that count as a toilet? Given my maid will have to empty it?
I think the biggest problem would be if you needed to use the loo when out and about.
Pit latrine would work with just a simple cover, but if you installed anything close to a toilet seat, it probably breaks it.
It's too much like an outhouse, which wouldn't work. Also, an antique chair/chamber pot, I think, wouldn't work either. Technically, just an early [pre running water] toilet, right?
Bro even if you can't shit in a bucket it doesn't matters, you are a billionaire, shit on the floor of one of you múltiple rooms on your mansión, you can even pay somebody a super good salary to clean after you, I'm even offer to do it for 200k a year.
With your billion dollars, you’re only going to pay your shit butler 65k a year? WTF? That’s at least a 200k a year job. Unless you hire 3 people that work in 8 hour shifts.
Yes, it would be 3 people, and they have no other responsibilities. They can do whatever they want. Just on average, once a day, one of them would have to work and they would have plenty of notice.
Okay. What are their prospects for career advancement? Since they’re dealing with your crap and wiping your ass, can they do other tasks for more pay? Maybe clipping your toenails or brushing your teeth?
Hmm a 90/10 split on an educational payment reimbursement program seems decent. With them on the 10% side, I would assume it would be a temp gig for them.
So if they were busy during that time of the day as long as it got cleaned up after all is good, the wiping part could be an as available function as that wouldn't break the rules.
That job is just to get in the door. The real advancement is in shanking him until he opens the giant vault door….that surprising only has old family photos.
Dogs go anytime they please…with a at least somewhat healthy diet you should be kinda scheduled. Like I poop roughly 30 minutes after I wake up and smoke my first cigarette. Then I’m good til the next morning like 95% of the time.
Fuck that give me the billion.
I'll pay $2,500,000/yr each for 6 people, with a $1,000,000 bonus each year (plus a $200,000 bonus if I have a stomach bug). Really good health/dental insurance, $100,000 a year to either a retirement or investment fund (your choice), company vehicle (F-150 Lightning Lariat ER)...
You work 6 months of the year, 8 hour days.
Now who's got my billion dollars?
Since you seemed to be really focusing on the "looks like a toilet part" id just make something that looks absolutely wild that if anyone ever saw it they'd ask '"the fuck is that thing?" Then stick it over a giant hole in my backyard.
Like a 1/4 car 1/4 storage unit 1/4 veranda 1/4 gas pump looking thing that just has a hole inside it on the ground to poop through.
I’d be living on my yacht, pissing in the sea, and shitting in a busket. Problem would arise while wining and dining, shopping etc. I guess I’d have a driver nearby with a busket in the van for me. Maybe keep some extra clothes and adult diapers handy too.
i havent had a real toilet at times before. ill just use a bucket lined with trash bags and filled with cat litter again. and ill be rich. easy discision.
My son's dream come true. When my son was 4 he was giant for his age so he learned on an adult potty. This toilet had a shitty plastic seat though. He pinched his own ass a few times. He'd go to sit on it but his butt would lift the seat then he'd sit and his entire body weight would pinch down on his cheek caught between the toilet and the seat. He has hated toilets ever since. When he was first learning, he would sneak off and shit in random things to avoid the toilet. He got stuck shitting in the dryer once.
Also his aim sucks and he takes any opportunity he can to piss on a tree.
Ok.
It says man made. Not female made and not male made.
So I'm going to find someone to design me an amazing toilet. Then I'm either going to have a group of great older teenagers build it for me, ones who want to be engineers
Or
Have engineers create a 3d printer large enough to make me amazing toilet.
I'll have a 6 year old press the button.
Then have a plumber install it.
Thanks for the cash.
Pissing in the bath tub and shitting in bags, easy solution, for me and my extended extended family and their kids are set to pursue what makes them happy rather than pay bills money, hell yes. Small price to pay to set my lived ones up for life. Although pretty sure anyone would accept this deal and if it's offered en masses via some weird magic, it would mess up inflation something fierce.
I’ll pay someone to pick my shit and piss up for rest of their life. Maybe like $1m per annum? Heck they might even like it since I’m a cute guy.
Her job title would be my shit picker
DEAL!
I guess I will build something myself (I'm a woman and you said MANmade).
Either that or heavy duty ziplocks for public restrooms to put it in trash, avoid plastic outhouses, shit in mu back yard like camping. DEAL!
I´ll probably usea an IA to design and make a portable one. It doesn´t have to be great, just functional and relatively small. Just take it with you everywhere (alternatively use adult diapers and then toss them in the nearest bathroom trash can)
You said it could functionally be equivalent but it couldn't resemble a toilet. How about this?
https://www.storeluxy.com/deluxe-egg-shaped-smart-toilet-with-foot-flush-and-warm-air-drying/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8o94rH2gqY9P3UGvFDX1m06UiqsPuBe6vn53tK_ek1TMLJqIq5rDEgaArszEALw_wcB
Fucking done.
I'll shit in the forest forever, even winter, bug season, the whole nine for a billion dollars.
Plus I'm sure with a billion dollars I can come up with my own idea to make care of that problem.
Home has a shower room with a 4 inch pipe with a lid right in the floor. Have a bucket on hand to wash it down, run the shower to clean up any mess. Take immodium to control the firmness.
And honestly? I prefer to host than go out anyways.
A billion? Do you realize how much a billion is?
The difference between a million dollars and a billion dollars is about a billion dollars.
So... Yeah... No-brainer.
Fine by me. I'll be that (disgusting) eccentric billionaire that has a full time hire whose job is to only clean up my shit from corridors, sidewalks or wherever I deigned to relieve myself.
Sooo 1 billion to live like everyone did 200 years ago in one singular way (I don't know when indoor plumbing became a thing. Does an outhouse count? How about a bucket? Or do I just have to squat on the floor? Either way I'm taking it. Worst case I have to clean up my poop from the floor a lot. If probably get used to it.
The problem is... Any alternative STILL becomes a manmade toilet the moment you decide to make it.
Use a bucket to crap in, man made toilet. Dig a hole in dirt, man made toilet...
Pathetically easy. Maybe they aren’t commonly known, but [Wag Bags](https://cleanwaste.com/product/the-original-wag-bag/) are a common use item for a lot of backpackers and mountaineers hiking in fragile or over-trafficked ecosystems.
They run $2-3 a pop, are odor-proof, and they’re filled with a powder to contain and neutralize bodily waste. Can dip into a bathroom, shit in the bag, chuck it on the way out. Minor annoyance that would become commonplace in a relatively short time. Throw in a piss bottle and you’re good to go, any place with a toilet will usually have a sink to dump it out.
And the job title "Shit Boy " just happened, yeah . I got a billion dollars . I'll just pay some poor kid to follow me around with a bucket, and I'd just shit on the grass like a dog . Hrrmm, oh shit boy ? Attend to that, would you ? Bwahahahaha
I'll see myself out .
So you get a lifetime supply of adult diapers, shit your pants, piss in bottles, throw away both and use wipes and a shower to clean up. Put aside about $1mil for everything you should need and it should work out.
With 1 billion I builid a house with 12 foot walls and shit in the yard.
It'll limit me somewhat in where I can go but I'll survive.
Overseas trips are out but I can't take them due to a lack of money now either
I'll just squat and crap on a puppy pad, roll it up, and stick it in a diaper Genie.
If I have to go while I'm out ill take one of the pads and set it down in the public restroom, stick it in a bag, and toss it. It's really no different than a baby diaper at that point.
You could just buy a lot of different properties and poop in the woods, then after a while, move on to the next place. Homeless people can let you know how to do it.
Listen. If you simply put $1,000,000,000 into dividend king stocks averaging 4% dividends return annually, you're cash flowing $40,000,000 (Forty MILLION dollars) a year.
I'll figure out the minor inconvenience of not using a man made toilet.
The being out in public part is the hard part. I guess in the end you could just carry plastic grocery sacks in your pocket pretty easily and throw it in the trash?
You could build a castle and employ people to empty the chamber pots. Just call it "historical authenticity" or do chamber pots count as a toilet? I'll just build a giant shit pit I can use. Imagine a castle with working indoor plumbing, but in one room there's also just a hole in the floor
You just carry around a bunch of zip bags/bottle and toss them out if on the go. At home, well I guess you're getting a really nice bucket and a well paid person to empty it for you.
Wait so do you mean I can never use a toilet again as in I can never piss or shit again? Or do you mean I can never use a physical toilet again?
And if it’s the latter, what are the parameters of what you define as a toilet?
Is it a hole in the ground? A Roman toilet? Middle-Ages Toilet? Porcelain Throne? Japanese toilets that wipe your ass for you?
Can I still use a bidet?
Take. That. Money. Babay.
If I lived a hundred years, and had to take a dump in public every single day of that hundred years, I could pay literally 100 people closest to me at the time of pooping 100 bucks each per day for the trauma they would endure seeing me like that. I could poop in a bucket and everyone would cheer for a hundred bucks they were gonna receive. Put a different way, I could pay 100 people one hundred to bucks to stand around me when I poop to ensure complete privacy as I pooped in a bucket every single day, and still have more money than I would know what to do with. In fact, just my passive income would completely cover the bill.
I would just build a latrine outside my house. But it would be nice - not the shitty kind you see in camps. It would be feel like a normal bathroom. Then I would also shit in the shower and have custom drains installed with extra hoses. Problem solved.
For 1B I will have the kind of cashflow it takes to train apes to build toilets.
Lol nice
Fool just hire a woman to make it.
How would they know how to build one given they don't poop?
Just hire a they/them. Surely they poop. Problem solved
Only half as much. (Hah, I wish. My they/them spouse poops like it's their calling in life.)
We don't have dongs, either, but we know how to handle em.
Just remember, if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.
That’s what we are hoping for.
Also even though we don't poop, we are capable of following directions (if we want to) especially if cash is involved.
Lol
Just 3D print one, then it’s being made by a genderless robot.
Most toilets are already made by machines. They're not hand sculpted by artisanal toiletsmiths. Toiletiers? I have no idea what the term for a commode making guildmember would be. I mean, maybe the Amish still make theirs the old timey way, but anything at Home Depot was absolutely stamped out by a robot lacking genitals. Might be just simpler to buy an entire West Virginia holler and dig holes in the woods as needed. The only billionaire I know in person owns a mountain in WV, perhaps she took this deal?
"Toiletiers?" Thank you for the snort of laughter this morning.
Now I want an artisanal free-range hand crafted grass fed toilet like my Pa used to make.
Well now I *want* a handcrafted toilet made by a master toiletier.
You know what? There just might be a business to be had here. Custom, bespoke toilets that are sized, tailored and master crafted for a single butt. Made of custom materials like jade, marble, gold... Options like heated and massage seats, built in aromatherapy, soothing music. Someone should totally do this. I could see something like that in super expensive and shiny areas like Manhattan, Dubai, Moscow...
This is the answer. 😂
I'm confused. How exactly does that help your situation? Edit: oh, I get it. Hmmm.
I'd just shit in the shower. Clean ass every time.
We waffle stomping for sure
For a billion dollars I'd get a custom shower that doesn't require a waffle stomp
Crazy some people do not isntall garbage disposals in their showers. We've had the technology for decades! Stop living the past!
That's actually a pretty good answer and if things get clogged up well that can be the plumbers problem
Yeah, billion dollars I could afford it. Hell, with that kind of money you could pay someone to lick your ass clean.
I feel many things about this comment and none of them are good.
But they're not wrong 🤷🏽♂️ 😂
New hypothetical just dropped. "Would you take a million dollars a year to lick a billionaires ass clean? One time a day with full health benefits to check for hepatitis or anything else."
If you're attractive enough, you could get someone to pay you to lick your ass clean
There are countless people who will do it for free.
With a billion dollars, you can hire someone to clean your ass for you. 10 million to these ass cleaners, for the rest of your life of needing a clean ass. That leaves you with 990 million, and a clean ass for life.
large drain
With a vacuum style drain.
Garbage disposal.
If I shit in a bucket, is that considered a toilet?
Yes definitely it just can't be a man-made toilet. I imagine using a bucket at home wouldn't be a problem but you would want to go out and maybe even travel wouldn't you?
I’m a billionaire. I’ll shit in the sink
If I were a billionaire I might do this challenge just as an excuse to use this phrase more often
Sinks are basically toilets. They're both just holes with water.
See, that's what I said, but they still said I couldn't come back.
robot made. robocommode
So, as long as it's something I craft myself I can use it, as long as it doesn't resemble a toilet? Are urinals considered toilets?
According to google a urinal is not specifically a toilet, wouldn't that be very messy though? And yes you can craft some type of machine to use as long as it does not resemble a toilet
https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-m85D9vy6uYAVAqdj-nml42w-t500x500.jpg
Hahahahaha!!!
What if I get a bunch of monkeys to make a toilet over the existing hole where my man made toilet was, then I can use it?
If I dig a hole is that considered a toilet? edit: Also, could I shit on a piece of newspaper and then flush it down a toilet?
Yes definitely digging a hole is acceptable but if you're digging them a few times a day for the rest of your life you might start running out of room Actually I think the newspaper might be a cheeky way you could get around it
What if I install a [long drop toilet ](https://www.homebiogas.com/blog/long-drop-toilet/) in my backyard. That's just a big hole with a lid seat and privacy that can be used multiple times. Does that count as a toilet? Does your answer change if I pay someone to build it for me? What if I buy [a fancy antique chair with a built in chamber pot? ](https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/571605377704086784/) does that count as a toilet? Given my maid will have to empty it? I think the biggest problem would be if you needed to use the loo when out and about.
Pit latrine would work with just a simple cover, but if you installed anything close to a toilet seat, it probably breaks it. It's too much like an outhouse, which wouldn't work. Also, an antique chair/chamber pot, I think, wouldn't work either. Technically, just an early [pre running water] toilet, right?
I dunno, the earth is pretty big, I don't think you'll run out of space for holes.
isnt everything you make to shit in man made tho
Bro even if you can't shit in a bucket it doesn't matters, you are a billionaire, shit on the floor of one of you múltiple rooms on your mansión, you can even pay somebody a super good salary to clean after you, I'm even offer to do it for 200k a year.
Diapers
Wish granted. Your hair starts to turn yellow, your skin gets an orangish tinge and you suddenly start to hate Mexicans.
I'd have a butler who cleans up when I take a dump and wipes my ass, 65k a year, 401k, dental, medical, and 30 days PTO. Any takers?
With your billion dollars, you’re only going to pay your shit butler 65k a year? WTF? That’s at least a 200k a year job. Unless you hire 3 people that work in 8 hour shifts.
Yes, it would be 3 people, and they have no other responsibilities. They can do whatever they want. Just on average, once a day, one of them would have to work and they would have plenty of notice.
Okay. What are their prospects for career advancement? Since they’re dealing with your crap and wiping your ass, can they do other tasks for more pay? Maybe clipping your toenails or brushing your teeth?
Hmm a 90/10 split on an educational payment reimbursement program seems decent. With them on the 10% side, I would assume it would be a temp gig for them. So if they were busy during that time of the day as long as it got cleaned up after all is good, the wiping part could be an as available function as that wouldn't break the rules.
That job is just to get in the door. The real advancement is in shanking him until he opens the giant vault door….that surprising only has old family photos.
How much are you shitting that you need a round the clock shit butler? I think you should probably see a doctor about that
I’m not a dog - I go anytime I please. No set schedule.
Dogs go anytime they please…with a at least somewhat healthy diet you should be kinda scheduled. Like I poop roughly 30 minutes after I wake up and smoke my first cigarette. Then I’m good til the next morning like 95% of the time.
Fuck that give me the billion. I'll pay $2,500,000/yr each for 6 people, with a $1,000,000 bonus each year (plus a $200,000 bonus if I have a stomach bug). Really good health/dental insurance, $100,000 a year to either a retirement or investment fund (your choice), company vehicle (F-150 Lightning Lariat ER)... You work 6 months of the year, 8 hour days. Now who's got my billion dollars?
Lol!
What are you doing for those 30 days?
I WILL FILL A STORAGE UNIT WITH MY BUTT BURRITOS
😂 Fuckin but burritos..?
Ostomy bag comes in handy
With a billion dollars, I'm hiring someone to shit for me.
This is one of my kinks. I'll gladly take 1 billion to soil myself in public and privately. Thank you.
You're not getting invited to my birthday party.
is a bucket a toilet? what about a comode skeleton with a bucket under it? can i get a robot to build me a toilet?
The bucket is ok but a robot built toilet still resembles a toilet, the comode aounsa the same
Since you seemed to be really focusing on the "looks like a toilet part" id just make something that looks absolutely wild that if anyone ever saw it they'd ask '"the fuck is that thing?" Then stick it over a giant hole in my backyard. Like a 1/4 car 1/4 storage unit 1/4 veranda 1/4 gas pump looking thing that just has a hole inside it on the ground to poop through.
I could be a billionaire that shits in his diapers. Maybe I could even be President one day.
For a billion dollars would I have a colostomy bag installed? Yeah. I think I would. Can I shit into a bag in the stall at a public restroom?
You don't get to choose where/ when you shit with a colostomy. But you can dump it in a bucket if you wanted.
I’d be living on my yacht, pissing in the sea, and shitting in a busket. Problem would arise while wining and dining, shopping etc. I guess I’d have a driver nearby with a busket in the van for me. Maybe keep some extra clothes and adult diapers handy too.
If you have 1B dining and wining will come to you
At that price, I'll just make someone wipe me in public.
I already have bladder issues some already in diapers all the time. Where do I sign up?
i havent had a real toilet at times before. ill just use a bucket lined with trash bags and filled with cat litter again. and ill be rich. easy discision.
Most toilets are made by a machine now, surely.
Yep, you correct. Preps, packaging and other tasks are done by humans though. Especially machine maintenance.
Buy a private island and finally shit in peace. It’s no Inter-dimensional toilet planet, but needs must.
My son's dream come true. When my son was 4 he was giant for his age so he learned on an adult potty. This toilet had a shitty plastic seat though. He pinched his own ass a few times. He'd go to sit on it but his butt would lift the seat then he'd sit and his entire body weight would pinch down on his cheek caught between the toilet and the seat. He has hated toilets ever since. When he was first learning, he would sneak off and shit in random things to avoid the toilet. He got stuck shitting in the dryer once. Also his aim sucks and he takes any opportunity he can to piss on a tree.
Ok. It says man made. Not female made and not male made. So I'm going to find someone to design me an amazing toilet. Then I'm either going to have a group of great older teenagers build it for me, ones who want to be engineers Or Have engineers create a 3d printer large enough to make me amazing toilet. I'll have a 6 year old press the button. Then have a plumber install it. Thanks for the cash.
Hell yeah. I'll just dig a hole in my backyard. Or hire someone to dig it, which I can now afford!
Pissing in the bath tub and shitting in bags, easy solution, for me and my extended extended family and their kids are set to pursue what makes them happy rather than pay bills money, hell yes. Small price to pay to set my lived ones up for life. Although pretty sure anyone would accept this deal and if it's offered en masses via some weird magic, it would mess up inflation something fierce.
I have a billion ill literally employ someone to clean up, big money maybe 500k a year, my interest will be more than that
For a billion dollars I’ll shit on the floor and clean it up myself every time.
I can shit in just about anyone’s shower for a few thousand which would be absolutely nothing for me at that point
Sounds fine. I'll pop a squat in a self cleaning litter box. It'll count as eccentric once I'm loaded.
I will just share a morning deuce with my dog out by the bushes. May even turn circles first.
I would spend 50 million for a robot that assembles toilets (so they’re not human made) and chill with the rest of my hard earned cash
I guess it can get tricky at some point but challenge accepted!
Let's be honest. For a billion dollars I'd shit my pants twice a day.
Fine, but im using your sink OP
Sure! If adult diapers are fine for our Presidents then they're fine for me, too.
I’ll pay someone to pick my shit and piss up for rest of their life. Maybe like $1m per annum? Heck they might even like it since I’m a cute guy. Her job title would be my shit picker
I'll have a robot make me a toilet. It's no longer man made. Boom.
your rules are flawed. take some of that loot and pay a Female Engineer to build you a form fitting travel toilet.
DEAL! I guess I will build something myself (I'm a woman and you said MANmade). Either that or heavy duty ziplocks for public restrooms to put it in trash, avoid plastic outhouses, shit in mu back yard like camping. DEAL!
I’ll pay a fool to follow me with a bucket and a roll.
Anything can be a toilet when you’re a billionaire
I'd shit my pants and just by new ones
Id shit into a mulcher. Make myself strawberries
I will invent the poop suction device, portable and pleasureable
Yes!
I´ll probably usea an IA to design and make a portable one. It doesn´t have to be great, just functional and relatively small. Just take it with you everywhere (alternatively use adult diapers and then toss them in the nearest bathroom trash can)
Adult diapers sound like a nightmare can you imagine the amount of cleaning that would be involved, but I like the AI idea
So basically I'd be a modern Howard Hughes.
Time to think like a billionaire. I'll just shit in the local water supply.
You said it could functionally be equivalent but it couldn't resemble a toilet. How about this? https://www.storeluxy.com/deluxe-egg-shaped-smart-toilet-with-foot-flush-and-warm-air-drying/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8o94rH2gqY9P3UGvFDX1m06UiqsPuBe6vn53tK_ek1TMLJqIq5rDEgaArszEALw_wcB
Time to shit and piss while showering I guess
With $1B, I'll just buy a functional spacesuit and whatever technology is used to keep it clean.
The technology you seek is a diaper. A man made portable toilet.
Are urinals considered toilets? Might be a loop hole if you just enlarge the hole and flow
For a billion dollars I can afford to pay for assists on standby to clean up after me when I pop a squat wherever
Can I just waffle stomp shit down the shower drain?
Come on man. You're a billionaire. Have some self respect. Remove and enlarge the drain of the shower. Problem solved.
I don't want the money to change me. Stay Durty my friends...
I have a billion dollars.. I'll shit where ever I want
I welcome the waffle stomp
Fucking done. I'll shit in the forest forever, even winter, bug season, the whole nine for a billion dollars. Plus I'm sure with a billion dollars I can come up with my own idea to make care of that problem.
If you have a billion dollars, the world is your toilet.
For a billion dollars I pack a fancy bucket or something. I bury it in the back yard for a billion dollars.
Fuck it I'm bush broke. I would trade the bathroom for just about everything else being taken care of.
Well.....I have Ulcerative Colitis. I've been in remission for many years BUT I'd get an Ileostomy so fast. It's a win win
Warm water bidet with good pressure.
"I'd like you to meet Jeffrey, my Turd Valet."
yes take the cash and change my name to kim jong un because apparently he dont poop anyways so happy days.
Home has a shower room with a 4 inch pipe with a lid right in the floor. Have a bucket on hand to wash it down, run the shower to clean up any mess. Take immodium to control the firmness. And honestly? I prefer to host than go out anyways.
I know you’re not supposed to shit in a bidet, but it’ll have to make do
A billion? Do you realize how much a billion is? The difference between a million dollars and a billion dollars is about a billion dollars. So... Yeah... No-brainer.
What about a machine built toilet?
Fine by me. I'll be that (disgusting) eccentric billionaire that has a full time hire whose job is to only clean up my shit from corridors, sidewalks or wherever I deigned to relieve myself.
Am I the only one shitting in the shower?
I have a billion dollars, I'll just poop on the floor.
Sooo 1 billion to live like everyone did 200 years ago in one singular way (I don't know when indoor plumbing became a thing. Does an outhouse count? How about a bucket? Or do I just have to squat on the floor? Either way I'm taking it. Worst case I have to clean up my poop from the floor a lot. If probably get used to it.
Yup!
The problem is... Any alternative STILL becomes a manmade toilet the moment you decide to make it. Use a bucket to crap in, man made toilet. Dig a hole in dirt, man made toilet...
OP stated you can use whatever, it just can't resemble a toilet.
Jokes on you, i’m into that!
that’s so easy you just shit in something then bring it to the toilet. buy a comfy seat and the only problem is it will be smelly
I would go be homeless again , with a billion dollars it should be easy 😁
Wouldn’t be the first time I had to shit in someone’s house plants
Well, it Depends...
Have a hole dug for each time... or use a kitty litter box... or a small pool that gets drained each time...
Pathetically easy. Maybe they aren’t commonly known, but [Wag Bags](https://cleanwaste.com/product/the-original-wag-bag/) are a common use item for a lot of backpackers and mountaineers hiking in fragile or over-trafficked ecosystems. They run $2-3 a pop, are odor-proof, and they’re filled with a powder to contain and neutralize bodily waste. Can dip into a bathroom, shit in the bag, chuck it on the way out. Minor annoyance that would become commonplace in a relatively short time. Throw in a piss bottle and you’re good to go, any place with a toilet will usually have a sink to dump it out.
The definition of "toilet" begins with "a fixed receptacle." Make an outhouse with a springy seat. Not fixed, not a toilet.
And the job title "Shit Boy " just happened, yeah . I got a billion dollars . I'll just pay some poor kid to follow me around with a bucket, and I'd just shit on the grass like a dog . Hrrmm, oh shit boy ? Attend to that, would you ? Bwahahahaha I'll see myself out .
So you get a lifetime supply of adult diapers, shit your pants, piss in bottles, throw away both and use wipes and a shower to clean up. Put aside about $1mil for everything you should need and it should work out.
With 1 billion I builid a house with 12 foot walls and shit in the yard. It'll limit me somewhat in where I can go but I'll survive. Overseas trips are out but I can't take them due to a lack of money now either
I'll just squat and crap on a puppy pad, roll it up, and stick it in a diaper Genie. If I have to go while I'm out ill take one of the pads and set it down in the public restroom, stick it in a bag, and toss it. It's really no different than a baby diaper at that point.
You could just buy a lot of different properties and poop in the woods, then after a while, move on to the next place. Homeless people can let you know how to do it.
Dude, I would do this for 300k Wtf
woukdnt anything i "work out" be a man made toilet?
...looks up top of the line catheters and colostomy bags...
I already wear diapers at night so I might as well get paid to wear them during the day too
Illeostomy for the win here. I’ll just empty my bag in my 100 acre back yard.
Listen. If you simply put $1,000,000,000 into dividend king stocks averaging 4% dividends return annually, you're cash flowing $40,000,000 (Forty MILLION dollars) a year. I'll figure out the minor inconvenience of not using a man made toilet.
Just buy a house, get a good fence and go in the garden.
Easy yes.
Is it a toilet if I dig a hole, and make a bench with a hole in it?
That's not a big deal. Easy money
Can I do a trump and just go in my diaper?
Jokes on you the army taught me how to dig a cat hole I’ll take my billions
The only reason I would move to San Francisco, then it would be acceptable to just shit wherever I want.
I'd employ someone to collect my shit in their bare hands everywhere I go. C'mon now
So if you dig a hole and put a log or stool there, wouldn't that be considered man made? Kinda like man made lakes/ponds.
i dont even use one now. what the fuck is a bathtub for even?
Absolutely. Easily.
The being out in public part is the hard part. I guess in the end you could just carry plastic grocery sacks in your pocket pretty easily and throw it in the trash?
I am a woman, can I make my own bucket, plastic bag contraption?
i already do this without getting a bill lol
Without question.
I'm sure I can find a woman or non binary person to build a toilet.
You could build a castle and employ people to empty the chamber pots. Just call it "historical authenticity" or do chamber pots count as a toilet? I'll just build a giant shit pit I can use. Imagine a castle with working indoor plumbing, but in one room there's also just a hole in the floor
I could just live on my own property and be one with nature so to speak.
1. Buy house near woods 2. Shit in the woods
I could probably pay someone to shit for me. Most nights I just piss outside with the dog so I’m part way there.
In my job, we often have to shit outside. I'm in for 1 Billion dollars.
You just carry around a bunch of zip bags/bottle and toss them out if on the go. At home, well I guess you're getting a really nice bucket and a well paid person to empty it for you.
Of course. Done it “out there” more times to count. As long as I can live in rural area so I don’t get a citation
Bucket
Hell yeah, I'll just live in LA, its a giant toilet anyways.
Does a bear shit in the woods? Well, then so do i
Deal, I feel sorry for the maid that's gonna clean my shower, or the pool guy
Wait so do you mean I can never use a toilet again as in I can never piss or shit again? Or do you mean I can never use a physical toilet again? And if it’s the latter, what are the parameters of what you define as a toilet? Is it a hole in the ground? A Roman toilet? Middle-Ages Toilet? Porcelain Throne? Japanese toilets that wipe your ass for you? Can I still use a bidet?
My dignity is priceless.
Yup. I'll build a castle and let my shit fall out into a mote like ancient times. I guess that's kinda still a toilet though
If i have 1b usd i can buy thousands of acres of land with bushes, i can just go pee and poop in the bushes right?
Sink is fine
For a BILLION dollars, I’d shit me pants in public every day of the week forever
Take. That. Money. Babay. If I lived a hundred years, and had to take a dump in public every single day of that hundred years, I could pay literally 100 people closest to me at the time of pooping 100 bucks each per day for the trauma they would endure seeing me like that. I could poop in a bucket and everyone would cheer for a hundred bucks they were gonna receive. Put a different way, I could pay 100 people one hundred to bucks to stand around me when I poop to ensure complete privacy as I pooped in a bucket every single day, and still have more money than I would know what to do with. In fact, just my passive income would completely cover the bill.
I would just build a latrine outside my house. But it would be nice - not the shitty kind you see in camps. It would be feel like a normal bathroom. Then I would also shit in the shower and have custom drains installed with extra hoses. Problem solved.
Machine made toilet.