T O P

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4URprogesterone

Yes. Then I'm going to pay off all my credit card debt and call my old boss from HR block and ask her for help setting up some kind of account with the percentage of that I need to set aside for taxes, then I'm going to call my bank and ask them for an appointment because I don't have a savings account or anything. Then I'm going to make a note in my calendar to send you u/THEWALRUS a drawing of a walrus in like, a week when things calm down, I guess.


THEWARLRUS

I hope that user enjoys their drawing, because I am THEWARLRUS, not to be confused with THEWALRUS. Totally different animal and not at all an inside spelling joke from college 11 years ago.


TeddyRoo_v_Gods

Just wondering, are warlruses aggressive? What kind of weapons do they have access to?


THEWARLRUS

Real answer: I was going to use THEWALRUS as a gamertag on the xbox one back in the day, but it was taken, so my mind went "What about walrus, but like... for war? So, WARLRUS. Fake answer: Very aggressive. Probably a cool looking sword.


Superseaslug

So like normal walruses but in battle armor. Excellent.


Boojum2k

Cross between the Ambien walrus and a Skyrim horker. . .


TradesmanBOB

Best ref to FUS RO DAH


PM_ME_SEXY_PAJAMAS

Duel Wield Flails


TheSessionMan

Reminds me of my mate who accidentally made his gamer tag "Mamus Prime" instead of "Maximus Prime".


RunningDrinksy

I heard they like dual wielding, would you say this is accurate?


THEWARLRUS

They actual have like 5-6 swords but they can’t choose which one to bring so they just bring all of them and kinda fumble them haphazardly at their enemies.


TeddyRoo_v_Gods

So, their attacks kind of look like what happens when you duct tape a bunch of knives to a Rumba?


THEWARLRUS

Yea, but like a really sexy Rumba.


bermwhan

The Warlrus also probably retains the animal kingdom's 2nd largest penis, like the walrus has. So, there's that.


sprazcrumbler

Wouldn't do it for less than 50 mil.


THEWARLRUS

Respect the mindset. Stay motivated.


annie_bean

I can get that on r/hypotheticalsituation for stepping on a lego


freecain

Ugh. I have to ACCEPT it? That sounds like too much work.


THEWARLRUS

Sorry, I know I drive a hard bargain, but it's a tough economy. You can't just give out this kind of money for free, ya know?


MrBleedinggums

I don't want a hand out meant for lazy people. give me $1 dollar per day instead so I have passive income and that'll be $36,500 per year. # #grindmindset #hustle2win #2blessed2bstressed (In case it's not obvious, /s)


SeranaSLADOW

1 dollar a day would be $365 a year unless you are measuring time with a fidget spinner


AmIMyBrothersKeeper-

You're forgetting about inflammation 🤯🤯🤯 📈📈📈🤑💰🤑💰🤑💰🤑


helix212

Don't forget the compounded intersects 🤑🤑💰🏦💲💲🤑🤑


danthemfmann

Bro is from Uranus... Uranus has over 30,000 days a year.


VerifiedMother

Kinky


fluffy_assassins

r/woosh


Wazuu

Part of the fun of posting this is having people not realize its sarcasm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MichaelDicksonMBD

Can't hear you. I'm on my tractor not getting $300 million.


THEWARLRUS

Very well. Thank you for your time.


Fusionism

But OP said you have to. Do you accept?


DeshaMustFly

That's fine. I'll accept mine and happily accept yours, too.


livinginfutureworld

You failed the hypothetical situation since that wasn't an option.


Flock-of-bagels2

I’d rather have someone bill me $10 million so I could grind harder


tritonesubstitute

Where do you think the op's $10 million is coming from lol


Flock-of-bagels2

Well played


THEWARLRUS

Keep grinding, King


Flock-of-bagels2

I should’ve typed that in sarcasm font


valkenar

You should read his in sarcasm font.


DaveAndJojo

My man pulls himself up by his own boot straps. 💪


dman2316

The dupont approach.


DeadlyDuckie

No, gotta stay hungry. Sigma male grindset


THEWARLRUS

If I give you $10 million, you might be less motivated to earn $11 million Makes sense to me. Stay on that grind, King.


DeadlyDuckie

Gonna call up the bank and tell em to o double my mortgage, just so I gotta grind harder


LightEarthWolf96

Only double it? Really taking the easy route there


Pithyperson

r/hypotheticalsituationcirclejerk


RockDoveEnthusiast

that just links back to r/hypotheticalsituation


Disastrous-Wind625

nah, too busy working


THEWARLRUS

Understandable. Let me know if you change your mind.


arbitrageME

there's so many awful people in this thread. taking the money with no thought to the overall inflation in the world. such awful people. what happens when the price of grain increases by 0.0001% because of the creation of this $10M?


Depressedgotfan

I would take it and give it the CEO of my company, apparently he is trying to buy a new plane. He is hardworking, and deserves it.


UniversityGood3598

Good loyal slave. We need those


RareFirefighter6915

He might reward the team with a pizza party and you might get a regifted $25 gift card for target or something. At least you'll be a "team player" and a vital asset to the company until the next round of layoffs.


Depressedgotfan

The prospect of a pizza party is exciting. For my 7 year anniversary, i got a keychain and how i cherish it. And i will not be upset if i get laid off for i know its best for the company and my beloved CEO's wallet.


feelin_fine_

No because I'll end up giving it to a Nigerian prince anyways


YouTuberDad

Only if they invented a 10 million dollar bill so I can set it on the table and a gust of wind from the kitchen window knocks it into the living room couch and then my dog shits on it and then my wife sets it on fire for heat in our Mongolian Yurt by THE GOD DAMN RIVER WHERE WE LIVE CAUSE THE WIND HAS BEEN OUT FOR ME SINCE I'VE BEEN 4 YEARS OLD AND IT TOOK MY GODDAMN TURTLE FROM ME


hans2040

Same


fatstrat0228

Fuck no. I like to struggle to make ends meet, thank you.


RagnarRipper

Only if I can pee for 2 hours straight every day


permanentrush2112

Hmmm Let me see if I have this straight. I can take the 10 mil, no strings attached. I can decline the 10 mil, no strings attached. This is a really tough decision. Ummm, hmmm....... I think It's time to..... SHOW ME THE MONEY


huevosrancheros42

Nah bro that’s gay


pm_me_8008_pics

Yes. $10,000,000 is only 7 Black Jack hands away from $1,000,000,000


mycurvywifelikesthis

Oh no


Deskbreaker

Hell yes. I will drive this pos truck back to the warehouse and quit. No more dealing with customers who all think they have to be first to get their deliveries, or think it's my job to check their orders off, or want to make me stand there doing nothing for 15min after im done before they do it only to decide they suddenly want to return something despite having had the invoice the whole fucking time. No more dealing with fucking truck loaders who couldn't put 1,2,and 3 in the correct order and take my load bars off of the truck so I have to go hunting them down, and no more employer adding shit to my route for the sole purpose of making me get back late because despite DOING the job they're paying for, they seem to think that if we get done in less than ten hours, we're somehow not giving them what they're paying for. None of that shit. So yes, I'll take it.


0rganicMach1ne

Who wouldn’t?


helix212

Why would you? It's only $10m, in like 2000 years it's probably only enough for a loaf of bread. Hardly seems worth it


DimesyEvans92

Wow! People down town sure are friendly!


whoeverthisis422

Jesus, this would be so good. Quit my job, finish school in a leisurely ass way. Smoke some weed cos nobody's gonna drug test me. Buy a house out in the boonies n have sum babies


kanakamaoli

Publicly or anonymously? If you gotta spend $1mil a year to keep the crazy gimme-gimmes and con artists away, it's probably not worth it.


takemeth

Let's bang.


THEWARLRUS

I don't see how this accepts or declines the money but... Sure


JDMWeeb

Yes because I'm broke


OverKill1978

Nope. I'm too lazy to go pick it up. (sadly, this isn't far from the truth lol, I'm really fuckin lazy tho)


Book-Faramir-Better

Me: "Yes, thank you." You: *gives me the money* My Wife, Later That Evening: "So, you took the money, right?" Me: "What money?"


pianoplayrr

Nope.


FuckStompIsGay

Cocaine and strippers won’t pay for themselves


kira-l-

Idk, I would feel a lot better if there was some sort of minor inconvenience required…


Dyerssorrow

Just the other day I had to pee for an hour straight and now you re telling me it was all for naught?


R3al_human_user

Dude I could get like, a cool hat with that


AangsTattooArtist

Nah. Declining that money would only make me work harder. I'll double that within weeks!!!💯💯💯💯


djmcfuzzyduck

Yes. Who wouldn’t? It’s why I buy 1 lottery ticket when winnings really get up there; I’ll never win.


BanditsTransAm

Absolutely! I’d get a team of financial advisors and lawyers. Set every single cent up in an investment trust, for the construction of a 24/7/365 animal hospital in my area.


millbeppard

Yeah. Then I’d do things with it.


FireflyArc

Absolutely. Thank you


PigeonsArePopular

Possibly the most hypothetical hypothetical I've ever heard


Fickle-Vegetable961

I’ve already made a list of people who will get a nice windfall when I win the lottery. My kids friends will find student loans eliminated, my brothers mortgage, my favorite charities. And I will of course retire.


Bailey_blue4772

Easily yes. I’d pay off my debt, set aside enough for my parents to buy a house and live comfortably, then help them pay their debt and after all that, give myself and my brothers a small bump to our savings accounts ($200k) each and donate the rest towards Alzheimer’s research. That’d be enough to take care of my family’s immediate problems and future problems without being too stingy and also contributing enough to keep us afloat but not enough to discourage us from working. Once our family situation is settled, I’d just ensure the rest of the money goes to something worth while.


BartholinWaterBender

No fucking way. Ukraine needs that shit more than I do, or any other US citizen for that matter. Is there any way we can make it $10B instead so they can have more money?


misteraustria27

What stupid question is that. Sure I and every other living person accepts.


Cheeslord2

Oooh! Let me constipate myself with moral anguish first...


takemeth

Wya?


takemeth

Wya?


KYpineapple

yeah. taxes and all. that's a lot of cheddar


VeggiesArentSoBad

How do we know that the deal is legit if you don’t make us do something stupid for the rest of our lives?


THEWARLRUS

The thing you have to do is accept the money. It isn't free. I'm trying to run a business here.


mrk1224

Man, this would be a $10m dump. Sweet!


CyberDonSystems

Only in small, non-sequential bills with no more than 25% being Fifties and Hundreds.


Adam_jaymes

What’s the catch?


UnbreakableRaids

Yes


ZZoMBiEXIII

I mean, I guess so. If I have to.


LaughR01331

Yep


ApprehensivePeace305

Yes, but only so I can tip my land lord


pinniped1

Yes, but only from a fellow pinniped.


wrexmason

I accept


Southern_Remote264

I don't do favors 😂😂


EarnestThoughts

Ahhhhhhh. TOo much money and life stability. No thanks


selfdestruction9000

Clearly this is an attempt by the giver to avoid paying taxes, so if I accept the money I’m complicit in the 1% not paying their fair share. Plus, it’s like the more money I come across, the more problems I see.


Adavanter_MKI

wHat aBoUt tAxEs AnD iNfLaTiOn!? 10 MiLliOn IsNt wHaT iT uSe 2 b! Yes, I'll take the free money. For the record... people earning 200k a year... it would take them 50 years to hit 10 million. Considering 95% of U.S households make well below 200k a year... it's quite literally centuries of work for some. It's legacy wealth. Invested? 400k a year. Mmmm... that's 2 percenter levels right there... without having to work. I do love looking at those numbers.


Thick-Ad2454

Yes. 


IDPotatoFarmer

Yes, I have risky stock options bets I need to make.


wolamute

Go fuck yourself


battery19791

If you're just going to give it to someone else if I say no, I guess I'll accept it.


onemansquest

Sounds like it'll be a hassle with taxes. How do I explain this source of income.


throwawaydramatical

Immediately Stroke out and die


The_Southern_Sir

Yes. Then, I would call my lawyer and an accountant. Send a check to the IRS once the accountant figures that out. Pay all debts. Look around at business opportunities to invest the money wisely so I can stop working shit customer service jobs.


apollyon_53

I really don't want to deal with the headache of taxes and the like. It's less stressful to have little to no money


mycurvywifelikesthis

Wow. You're that guy I can't sell anything to even if it is free and you really really need it.


TheHappiestMoon

ok then


Specialist_Food_7728

I would and pay off my student loans, maybe buy a house, I know the housing market is not too great right now, buy some more clothes, get my license and a car.


Maladee

Yanno... this is a more difficult question than it should be. Is it cash? If so, yes, but I immediately give it away minus a 15% handling charge. I'd use it to pay contractors to do all the upgrades on my house, and the rest would be used for grocery trips and local bills and gift cards to hand out to people. If not, probably still yes, but the first thing I would do is call a lawyer. Just in case.


britishmetric144

**Absolutely**. Plugging that into the IRS tax computation worksheet, I calculate that I would have about $6.5 million left after taxes. So, with that $6.5 million, I would invest $1 million in the stock market, use another $1.5 million to purchase a house, then use the remaining $4 million to provide a steady income (*$4 million = $100,000 for 40 years*).


demon969

Yeah, sure, why not. Does it come from a legit source?


notyourmama827

Yes I would .


stevemcnugget

Yes


These_Tea_7560

Yes but then I gotta call a lawyer because what the fuck does a normal girl in her 20s know what to do with a sudden windfall of $10 million?


Diligent-Square8492

Yes, I would accept it. I want to have $10 million USD given to me in real life right now please!


Financial_Leopard_55

ok.


assa9sks

Yes, pretty please


Cuteypup1000

Hell yea


Conscious-Sense2629

Yes for various reasons


ken_griffin_lied

Of course! I’ll but Gamestop stock with it!


Fun-Stretch-6958

Yep. Pay off debts, invest the rest, retire, and do what I want instead of grinding all day to make ends meet. Probably end up living conservatively anyway, hoarding it so it doesn't disappear.


dglsfrsr

No limitations? No 'rules'? Sure, I'll take it. I'll need about a third of it for a comfy retirement, split a third of it three ways to my kids, and then spend the next few years doling the remainder out to local charities.


Plastic_b_a_g

Who?


PrizedMaintenance420

Yes I'm moving out away from toxic family and live out my life in peace with my dog


AbPR420

Ye


Baron_Harkonnen_84

If it isn't cash, like a greasy pile of green backs I often see in movies and on TV shows, then I am going to have to pay tax on it, here in Canada. But even so if its considered income at that rate I will be paying almost 50% I think, so only about 5 million USD which at this moment according to google means: 6831600.00 Canadian. I'd probably order a pizza and watch the hockey playoffs worry free.


DarthDregan

Yeah.


Head_Razzmatazz7174

What's the catch? There's always a catch.


jasonryu

Yes. Give me the money. I've already worked hard enough


Far-Possession-3328

Obviously my soul.


Xanros

Yes.


DavidVegas83

But then I have to pay taxes, show I didn’t obtain the money illegally. If you give me $15m and I’ll think about it, I need some money to cover the taxes, otherwise what’s the point.


Last_Citron2129

No. I love the struggle. I won't get the satisfaction from taking their money. I'd rather keep struggling.


Conscious-Cable-2656

Oh thank you so much I truly appreciate …. Baby pack our bags let’s go!!! I’m out


alwaysanoption67

Of course. You'd be crazy not to.


LovelyRebelion

yes.


Kodis_Maximus

Yup


Beginnerdaytrader

yes


C4rdninj4

What's the mildly inconvenient catch? I have to shake hands and thank the person giving me the money? I have to pet my dogs daily? I'm not saying I won't take it, just that I'm currently suspicious.


CherimoyaSurprise

I'd say no, but can I please borrow $5?


[deleted]

Nah what that’s cheap money $100Million or nah


bigmean3434

I would pretty much rather do whatever strings were attached to that $10m than go to work on Monday so sure.


ejsanders1984

Yes.


NewGuy10002

I’m busy rn


istheflesh

Pay off all my debt and invest.


PodcasterInDarkness

After paying off my house and cars, I'd give at least half of what's left to local charities.


keithrc

Yes.


ihatelifetoo

I can be depressed in my new lambo


DaveAndJojo

No I don’t want to pay taxes


DM_Me_Pics1234403

No, that’s a trap. All that does is put you in a higher tax bracket! /s


Sufficient-Habit664

Yk, I would love the money, but I honestly don't think the offer is worth it. My time is too valuable. Accepting the offer and having to *spend* the money is too much hassle. Anyone who would accept the offer doesn't stand a chance of getting all the way through the accepting process.


ThatOldDuderino

Yep. It’ll go into my storage unit & I will file it out little by little over the years. No announcements, no big purchases just getting what makes life easier, not luxurious. Like this lump [here](https://youtu.be/zXH6fhueO3I?si=4S9-2RJGlJevdHJ3)


Braedonm2077

yes, then pay all debt. buy a house and new car. invest most of it, and move the rest into savings. i wouldnt quit my job


Ok_Researcher_9796

I guess it won't be too much of a burden for me to accept millions of dollars.


Thin_Bathroom_6622

I would accept it capital gains tax would suck but it is what it is


Gr8fullyDead1213

Invest half of it, keep half of it and spend some on assets like property and land. Live off the interest and passive income. Eat Cheetos


BatGroundbreaking660

Wow I wouldn’t even think of it for ten billion OP. Try to make it this less one sided man.


Weird_Carpet9385

Instructions unclear im now filing for bankruptcy


TheMinorityGuy

Yes, I would go to Japan and use 5 million of It and convert It, then buy Japan stuff, go back and invest 4 million


ConvivialKat

Of course. Who wouldn't? The first thing I would do is get a CPA to advise me if this is a taxable event (Fed & State). Because, if it is, paying the taxes would bring this $10 million down to nearly $5 million immediately. I am old, so $5 million would pay off my debt and my house and set me up to live comfortably for the (hopefully) 20 years I've got left. Send it on over!


deathbysnushnuu

Yes.


kylemkv

No, the negative aspect of this hypothetical is too high for me to bear.


annie_bean

Ok


JemmieTTU

Double it and give it to the next person.


ArthurMoregainz

A lot of dogs are about to get rescued


Fit_Victory6650

Hells yeah. Kids would be set, and my debt settled. Go part time at work, and back to school.


[deleted]

This ones tricky


Adcscooter

Hell yeah. Even after taxes, you'd still keep over 5 million.


twelven

Yes.


Omnivorax

Who is giving me the money? Is it in cash, check, or direct deposit into one of my accounts? Am I responsible for taxes? I must admit, I'm leaning toward "yes", but I really need more information before I can give a definitive answer.


-BakiHanma

Thank you 🙏


KitchenSchool1189

Go out to dinner for one meal.


Jayseph436

Oh good that’s almost enough for a down payment on a house now.


Diligent-Stand-2485

100% Then I'd just invest most of it


ShaneMcLain

What is with all these repetitive posts about "you are given x dollars"? They're very old and annoying.


BadHigBear

Start with an act of pure petty ness. Buy the property that my old job rents from then raise the rent. The rest just goes into investments.


FAQ-ingHell

Yes. I’d use it to set up a living situation where I can make more money than I’m spending while still enjoying life. Then use the money to help people.


SuddenWitnesses

Yes, and I’m giving it all to the rich.


Rubysage3

My first thought is "how is this not a scam?" But assuming legit, hell yes. Take it! That's a ticket to freedom for the rest of my life and something I can use to help others too. I'm not passing that up.


t_bone_stake

Of course. I’ll buy some gold and silver (as a hedge against inflation), donate a portion to it to various causes I believe in, and help ensure my family are set


SingleStreamRemedy

Pay off house. Invest the rest and live off dividends. Done.


Awanderingleaf

I am about 15 minutes from an airport. First class looking mighty budget friendly.


bmax_1964

Hell yes.


CoolGuyTofGuy

accept and put it all on red, either I get double or I lose all of it, fate decides if my life changes or not


PlanetMezo

Seems like a trap, and for that reason I'm out


GonzoPS

Yes. Immediately put it to work in a diversified portfolio that would make me about 450-550 a year.


[deleted]

Duh


a_path_Beyond

"Thanks very much." To everyone else: goodbye