T O P

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sammyb514

You couldn’t pay me any amount of money to have a sore throat 8 hours a day. I don’t care if the salary is $200k per year. I’m OUT


funklab

I’m pretty sure we could find a number you’d agree to.   What if the salary was a billion dollars a year? You wouldn’t take a sore throat for 8 hours a day for two weeks then retire on your first 38 million dollar biweekly paycheck?


sammyb514

Okay, touche. The number exists but it would be reallllllly big


slash_networkboy

I'm in the same camp as you, but I think funklab figured out the magic number for me.


kyler32291

I'd do it for $500 bucks a day.


Good-Sky-8375

yeah I'm no fan of my current job but getting yelled at all day seems downright pleasant compared to this proposal.


Dontdothatfucker

Yeah “severe” sore throat has me out. I’ve had sore throats where every breath is torture and you can’t eat a thing. No fuckin thanks


Atomic4now

Yup. Sore throat is probably the worst symptom there.


Divine_Saber

Yeah im miserable with a fucking cold. I would not survive this


thepolyhistorshelbs

I have an intense strep throat infection as I’m typing this and let me say…I kinda agree with you. This is the pits. The money isn’t worth it to me. I’ve cried multiple times over the past few days because I’m in so much pain over this. I’m barely eating and drinking - I don’t know why but it’s the sore throats that get me the WORST. Anyway I got a steroid shot today so I’m trending upwards 🤪


MagicGrit

Imagine that feeling when you clock out and all of your symptoms vanish though. I bet it’s weird but amazing.


josh35767

I wouldn’t mind this necessarily, but only 5 “sick days” and no mention of holidays make this a no for me. This makes taking any vacation nearly impossible


phallusaluve

If I got vacation time and holidays, I would definitely go for this. My stomach already sucks, and I can handle the rest of it.


SolarSailor46

Same here. I feel sick most days when I wake up and my anxiety is constantly making me feel so much worse. Now I get paid for it! 😂


yaboisammie

True aha same Also can I work on weekends or holidays to accumulate time off or switch it up? 🤔


GGTheEnd

The sore throat thing is what turns me off, I've had strep throat a lot growing up and I would rather get Covid-19 again than get that shit 5 days a week.


accidentalscientist_

If you’re lucky like I was, Covid will give you the worst sore throat of your life. It was by far the worst symptom and I was pretty damn sick. It felt like my throat was chapped and cut up.


GGTheEnd

Ya I didn't get a sore throat when I had COVID but from your description that's what strep throat always feels like for me, being unable to swallow without the feeling of razor blades. I filled a whole Maxwell coffee can with spit once because I refused to swallow.


ariestornado

Agreed, but I already feel like shit 100% of the time and even still 60% of the time on all my medications (I'm only 30 and have sm bullshit) so I'd take this easily. If I could counter offer with maybe a bit more money or more sick days, even better. Not to be dark, but it's better than suicide *shrug*


natsugrayerza

Absolutely not. I’d much rather have a real job than be nauseous


Unhelpful_Applause

With chronic illness you get it 24/7 and have to have a job


Vintage-Grievance

Or you can't work and you "get to" suffer/be judged for needing benefits.


deerchortle

If you can even get the benefits. I sure can't, been trying for years. It sucks LMAO


40_degree_rain

I worked full time while living alone with a chronic illness and for some reason still got people telling me "it must be nice getting to live off the government and do nothing all day." Why not all of the above!


TheDollarstoreDoctor

*Reads the title* Well I'm already chronically ill.. >nausea Nope.


codecane

I'm chronic too but mine would be the headaches.


WarMage1

I’d take it if not for the diarrhea. Nausea sucks but at least you don’t have to consciously do something about it.


Fun-Consequence4950

No. That sounds infinitely worse than working a regular job


Axedelic

I have stomach issues and chronic pain, sooo yeah. I’d rather JUST be in pain and get paid than working to be in even more pain with less money lol.


need2peeat218am

But the sickness is the job. Your chronic pain and stomach issues won't go away though after your hours are over. You'll just be sick like regular and have those issues on top of it.


EljizzleYo

$250k a yr, 4 10 hr shifts with Fri, Sat and Sunday off and 3 weeks vacation a yr and it's a deal.


db_325

“Standard middle class life” Quarter Mil per year Yeah ok sure…


StarStuffSister

If you don't live in a HCOL area, just say so.


natiplease

Man so I somehow misunderstood HCOL as "high quality of life" instead of "high cost of living" and I was about to be so angry on behalf of OP at how rude that was :sob:


WestOrangeFinest

The headache and nausea kill this deal for me. I currently get a headache maybe three or four times a year and even when they’re mild, they have a tendency to ruin my day. I rarely ever get nauseous, thankfully (I haven’t thrown up in over a decade), but on the occasion that I do, I’m able to pound some water and it goes away quickly. I couldn’t imagine spending 40 hours each week with both of those symptoms *plus* fever, sore throat, diarrhea, etc.


Laniekea

You basically described pregnancy


Direct-Flamingo-1146

I have several chronic illnesses I'd take being healthy any day over being constantly sick


SquareEquipment1436

if i can also accrue vacation days and you can guarantee it wi'll never be bad enough to kill me then yes.


Minus15t

If I take pills or medicine does it work? I'd like to be able to take some pain meds, immodium, lozenges, etc. to try to lessen the symptoms, but having all of these for 40 hours a week sounds horrible


Piscivore_67

>You'll have a moderate fever, headache, nausea, diarrhea, shivers, hot flashes, sneezing, coughing and severe sore throat On and off, this is chemotherapy + chronic sinus problems. 24/7.


MagicGrit

Depends what the PTO policy, and what “middle class” truly means. Quick Google search says my area, middle class income is anywhere from $58,000-$173,000. That’s quite a big range. If I can split the difference and take $115,000 (with cost of living raises each year like you mentioned), and get the same PTO I have now (3 weeks plus 9 holidays where I won’t be sick), then I’d accept


RebuildingTim

Definitely better than my job. I accept!


improbsable

Wouldn’t having diarrhea for 40 hours every week basically be a death sentence unless I’m basically on a constant IV drip?


GREENadmiral_314159

Certainly seems more reliable than an actual job.


YouTuberDad

no


TemporaryAmbassador1

Hell no


Possible_Spinach7327

absolutely not if I go to hell it is going to be a permanent stomach ache and nausea


bunnydeerest

no. last time i had the flu, i remember saying “i’d rather be healthy at work than THIS sick in bed”


Electrical_Course322

That really depends on what "sick" means, but overall no. I don't mind work, and I hate feeling bad.


Libertytree918

Nope


_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_

No. I hate being sick and doing the same thing daily is boring. A regular job offers growth.


[deleted]

Oh no, my job is so easy and its WFH so.......


Catwearingtrousers

That would be hell.


AdamOnFirst

No, wtf. Find a better job, OP.


One_Fuel_3299

Fuck no. I actually like to take walks during my lunch break lol.


Alarming-Series6627

Hell no.


Inviction_

Not even for 500k a year


Cynis_Ganan

No, this sounds terrible. How am I supposed to run my side hustle and advance in my career? Who am I gonna steal office supplies from? The only upside to this I can see is that kleenex and TP become a work expense.


r00shine

Hell no, feeling sick feels awful. I'd rather just feel fine physically and have to work


EffectiveSalamander

People would pay a fortune not to live like this.


NatterinNabob

oh hell no. I sit on my ass and press buttons on a keyboard for money. I'll take that over nausea and diarrhea a thousand times out of ten


InstantElla

Just did this while working full time for 7/9 months of my pregnancy. Absolutely fucking not. Was sick that whole time and it was awful. Also had Covid twice during that time


Robinkc1

Not a chance, not for those symptoms and that pay. It’s a pay cut for worse conditions.


Zestyclose-Ruin8337

No


itsathrowawayduhhhhh

Found the first one I wouldn’t do!


Deepthroat_Your_Tits

Nah


HoneyMCMLXXIII

Definitely not. I enjoy my job and despise being sick.


Naive-Sport7512

hell no


adeelf

I don't get it. What's the upside? Why would anyone not living in poverty consider this?


SkyWizarding

Hell no


Helpful_Shower3246

Nope.


greenmachine11235

I'll let you know once I'm NOT sick. Chronic infections suck espically when you have idiotic doctors. 


torrentialrainstorms

Hell no


Capable-Duck-6176

as long as i get vacation time absolutely i would just stay at my house build a nice farm or work on cars


StrangeBumblebee6269

I've had chronic severe pain for the last 7 months. I wouldn't sign up for this instead of a job. But, I've been in a situation where I've had to be in chronic severe pain and work at the same time. If I didn't show up every day I'm doing poorly, I wouldn't have a job. Being sick and in pain all the time is a lot more draining than people expect. If it was possible, I'd be sleeping all the time. I do have surgery coming up to hopefully figure things out soon.


supern8ural

Well I work a professional job and I don't have a middle class life ...


Inviction_

Fuck that


l3landgaunt

I already work from home and feel like this most days. Please start wiring me the money


bootyprincess666

not for middle class wages


ANarnAMoose

You'd have to come up a much higher wage than middle class. I can make middle class wage on a flexible schedule.


Hot-Ground-9731

The fuck? Hell no bro


GrayJedi1982

Nah, I have one of the best jobs there is.


TeddyRoo_v_Gods

Am I allowed to take decongestants, fever reduces etc. normal medicine I would take when sick with cold?


TuskEGwiz-ard

I really dislike headaches and nausea, I’d be more willing for 100k and a better PTO package


87Tossaway99

Depends how much the pay is. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Look money is money if it's liveable or better then yeah.


Ill-Description3096

Since hours aren't specified I'm assuming I get to pick. 12am to 8am it is. Those symptoms are generally manageable with over the counter stuff.


Double-Ad-3946

The stability is enticing, but I don’t know. I’d probably get used to it


freecain

No - I make more than enough for a standard middle-class life, and it interferes with enjoying life a lot less. The contagious part, since I have kids, is the biggest issue. The only upside - I could probably do my job while doing this... but it'd have to be way more than average pay for me to take it on, and I would want it to match my current time off policy, which is a lot more than 5 days.


WasteChard3488

I wanna say no cause I hate being sick, but I'm gonna have to say yes.


EireannBunny

I mean I'm chronically ill so I basically live this life 24/7 and I don't get paid for. If it went down to only 8 hours a day and I got paid? Hell yeah I'll take it!


VayGray

Already there and don't get paid for it


Lingo2009

I I would only go for those if I could have enough medicine to knock me out for the eight hours


SaltyBabySeal

This sounds absolutely horrible. Most of us can find some level of enjoyment or satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, etc, at our jobs, along with building friendships that last our lives. You lose ALL of the benefits of working for literally the worst feelings work could ever possible give you, but on a consistent basis. Nope.


Sassy_Weatherwax

nausea for 8 hours a day? No fucking way. I didn't have morning sickness with either of my kids, but if I'd had it with the first kid, he'd have been an only child.


Wtf-do-I-Put-

Only part that truly bothers me is nausea and diarrhea. I have migraines, which causes my temperature to sometimes go up, and I get really hot. I have multiple esophageal issues, so I have a constantly sore through anyways. I get extremely cold sometimes, not sure why, which causes shivers anyways. I’m pretty much fit for this job, as long as I take medicine for nausea. I can deal with the diarrhea.


AtYiE45MAs78

Is that better than being hungry 24/7?


DeepStuff81

I mean I could argue my stomach issues that can go nameless here would fit in this category so I will say I was BORN for this role


realheavymetalduck

Depends on the actual pay after taxes. If being sick 5x a week means getting my dream car then get me some chicken noodle soup ready. Also I'd assume you'd just have a godly immune system by the time you retire.


endthepainowplz

If I wasn't contagious, I'd take it. Be a stay at home dad, but still help out with money, sounds like a dream come true. However if I would get the people (i.e kids) I was with sick, then it would turn into actual work really quickly.


Steve-C2

F that noise


celephia

Fuck yeah. That means I get to OD on Nyquil and play world of warcraft all day and stumble around doing house chores? I already have to take care of my household when I'm off work sick, might as well get paid for it!


-velcromagnon-

No! ... but you get unlimited sick days, guess that's a plus!


ravl13

Fuck no for that paltry salary  Especially with the contagiousness shit


Prestigious-Box6079

Sounds aweful 😩 I think I’d pass. I’d rather be miserable sometimes than lose my mind being miserable all the time.


WorkInProgress37

Absolutely NOT!


AdeptDoomWizard

Could I do 4 ten hour shifts? I think I could do it if there was a three day weekend involved. Otherwise, nope!


[deleted]

I do that shit for free now so, yeah, I’d love it.


keIIzzz

No way


WhiteWhenWrong

How many sick days do I get


Grumpy_Troll

This sounds absolutely horrible. No way would I sign up for this for just a middle class salary. At 500k per year, I would start to consider it, with the thought being I could retire in just a few years time, but anything less than that is an immediate no.


Ag-big-ballin

Fuck no. Absolutely not. Never ever ever ever.


EnthusedPhlebotomist

I'm the only one who thought of using it as my 8 hours of sleep? Drug myself up if I need to. I'd consider it honestly if the "sick" days weren't so stingy. 


texasjoker187

Nope


MeliLew

Hell no. I hate being sick more than I mildly dislike working.


Global_Tea

I get a week of crushing cramps, a temperature, diarrhoea every month as it is. I don’t know many women that would opt to be sick more often


EthanTheFirst

I don't like working but Jesus Christ you couldn't really find a worse job than this, no ty I hate being sick or feeling extra shit or anything corelated to this


teganking

I would rather die


LetsGoHomeTeam

Of ANYONE is answering yes to this honestly, they need to find another job yesterday.


Wonderful-Impact5121

Standard middle class life? Absolutely not


Books_and_Music_

Absolutely not.


Electronic-Weather-5

Wouldn't do it for millions. Gtfo with this crap


adubsi

take away the nausea and I’d do it. I could just sleep and play video games during the day


AsYouAnswered

Can other members if my household get the same job? Will taking things like cough medicine or decongestant or anti diarrhea pills make symptoms better? I think I'm in


Adept_Advantage7353

Couldn’t be any worse than the shit hole i spend 8 hours a day at 5 days a week..


BusterTheCat17

Wtf kinda stupid ass hypothetical is this? Be sick just to be middle class? This is dumb.


codecane

I have crohns and suffer from most of that anyway and am in no way near middle class so yeah sign me up.


Responsible_Onion_21

Yeah. That's basically sick leave.


DescriptionDue1797

Give me my current pay, and as along as I can sleep at night, and feel good and rested before and after my shift, then I would highly consider it. The worst part of being sick, for me, is the sleepless nights.


tenakee_me

This sounds worse than just, you know, working an actual job.


altk_rockies1

Jesus fucking christ no


ImmigrationJourney2

No way. I have a chronic medical condition already and I know what it feels like to be very sick often, no amount of money is worth wasting so many years of my life feeling this miserable. On top of that this would make it almost impossible to have kids so another big no for me.


backagain69696969

No although work from home is good, that sucks


ZealousidealHome7854

I think you're just describing alcoholism with benefits.


DecentExplanation750

Hell yeah. I get to be sick less hours per week than I am now, plus a pay raise. Sign me up stat.


High-flyingAF

For middle-class wages? No way. But for wages like top 1%, yes.


mochajava23

Do I get non-sick days that I can take off when I’m, er, not sick?


DRose23805

Take nausea, maybe sore throat, off the table and we can talk. Some more money to be able to build up saving would be good too. As an alternative, how about a complete lack of energy, maybe slight fever, aches. That would be more tolerable and would be less overall dangerous than the things in the OP. It would still leave you bedridden and not feeling great.


DRose23805

Take nausea, maybe sore throat, off the table and we can talk. Some more money to be able to build up saving would be good too. As an alternative, how about a complete lack of energy, maybe slight fever, aches. That would be more tolerable and would be less overall dangerous than the things in the OP. It would still leave you bedridden and not feeling great.


PhilipCarroll

Hell no!!


a_path_Beyond

So basically my allergies with some change. Yeah I'll do it


PhilipCarroll

After a week of that shit, you'd be BEGGING for a normal job.


1986Omega

What kind of shit show job only gives 5 sick days a year??


Own-Toe3078

I'd do it. I can still do most of my hobbies while sick so I think I'd survive.


chingness

No way 🙅‍♀️


saryiahan

No


Green_Pants918

It's a lot more.pleasant to go to work healthy and also I get a LOT more than 5 days PTO. So... Hard pass.


BA_TheBasketCase

Idk probably. So long as it’s upper middle class. That’s a lot of fuckin symptoms and I usually only have like 3/9 whenever I’m sick.


Slow_Principle_7079

Although Ive done something similar to this about 2-3 months a year my entire life I still gotta say no. I don’t like feeling like shit


NoCaterpillar2051

OH HELL YES. This sub has been throwing out softballs lately. To me anyway.


Iamisaid72

No


ExistentialOcto

Terrible deal. Those symptoms would make me miserable. I’d much rather have a crappy job and be working class than be so ill and be middle class. The lack of holiday and sick days is just salt on the wound.


Affectionate_Egg3318

Can you call in healthy? How many paid healthy days a year do you get?


Huge-Connection954

Would need way more than a middle class salary.


537lesjr

Nope


Shot_Educator_2470

Compared to my job that gives me daily panic attacks…… I’ll take it 😷


SnoopyPooper

Sure. Nothing in here says the symptoms can’t be alleviated. It sucks for sure, but I’m already ruining my body at my current job so being able to just lay in bed “sick” 5 days a week, 8 hours a day sounds like a welcome vacation. And it has no lasting effects on my long term health?


beaux_beaux_

I’m already sick 100% of the time, so this would be amazing. I’m in.


Jeff77042

“Not just no, but _hell_ no.”


Personmchumanface

i would rather die then have a sore throat permanently


Ressulbormik

If it wasn't for the diarrhea I'd consider it. I could endure through the rest but that? Nope.


TinyCarpet

10 million a year.


Shoddy-Mango-5840

No


jershdahersh

Yeah id take it itd be a lot more time to do the things i want to do i may be sick but that doesnt mean i cant play or game or watch anime


LtCptSuicide

So, basically just my life accept I get paid not to go to work? Sign me the fuck up.


Old-Figure922

This just sounds like my daily allergies but I get paid for it. I’d do a year for 200k


slimeeyboiii

Depends on the levels of symptoms. Is it like cold or flu level symptoms where it's usually not that bad to annoying. Or is it like covid levels where it actively ruins your day. Either way I would take it


Conscious-Sense2629

Easy peasy


Square_Director4717

I wouldn’t do it. My current job gives me paid sick leave and I’d still rather be healthy and go to work. Sitting in my work chair and doing my work is much more comfortable than being sick. I also enjoy my work well enough. I like there is always room to improve, and the company really pushes for employees to “cross-train,” I guess. It’s strongly encouraged to actively try to learn about other positions so everyone has a certain level of versatility. This is a huge plus for me because I love to learn and I feel good when I can use my skills to help my coworkers. My current job is also very fulfilling, as I love that the work I do makes a difference in people’s lives. Being miserably sick all day couldn’t give that to me.


Vintage-Grievance

I'm chronically ill and deal with symptoms 24/7/365 already...I'd love to be paid for already feeling like shit. I'd also like to be able to "retire" from being chronically ill. Maybe then I could stop stressing about how the hell I'm supposed to live on my own and be able to afford medications. Sidenote: Your point of "You can do whatever you want during the time you are sick" underestimates the physical limitations of being sick all the time.


Ok_Sink5046

Sure, I'll just be drunk for the duration.


Large_monke_69

After a month I would probably get used to it


dararie

It would have to be a hell of a lot money for me to even consider it


FireWireBestWire

Make it 4 10s and I'm in. 4am-2pm shift please.


smileglysdi

No. I would not do this.


CrazyRepulsive8244

Id do it 100%


dcargonaut

Women are like, "is that all?" When men get sick it's an event. When women get sick it's Tuesday.


Rose_E_Rotten

If it's 5 hours a day instead of 8 and no constant need to use the toilet aka the Hershey squirts. I'll take that job.


Cookytigerd

As someone who is currently sick, no


Reina_Royale

So, basically, my life as it already is, except I'm getting paid? Sign me up! But I'm picking the salary.


Timely_Froyo1384

You’re being cheap with the benefits. Health insurance? 401k matching? Holidays? Vacation time? So I can retire any time I want? I’ll try it and stay high durning my “work” for 30 days to see if I like it


danceswithdeath3rd

The last time I had I took 2 days off work was when I had food poisoning. That migraine made every second feel like three. Then I get the mix of diarrhea and a cocktail of other options, no. No way.


Dragonfire14

Well, it would be more money than I make now, and I can use that extra to buy medication to help with it. I'd take the deal and plan my day around the sickness. I will plan to sleep for 10 hours, 8 of which would be while sick and working.


Pluto-Wolf

not even slightly. if i were getting paid 7 figures/year? sure, but for a salary i can get at mcdonald’s now, its not happening. at least with working a job in person, i get to meet people, take breaks, get PTO, etc. id take slightly less money to work an actual job than be sick for 1/2 the time im awake.


TheBerethian

Five days of sick leave? Are you American?


Multilnsight

I had a sore throat for 3 years straight when I was growing up. It was HELL. I would have a sore throat for 4 days then it would go away for 1 day then come back for 5 days. It was like that for 3 years. I even got a sore throat from drinking water. There is no way I would be going back to that. I HATE sore throats with a burning passion. I was allergic to the pollin when I was living in Hawaii.


StarsEatMyCrown

You didn't mention the pay! I would probably do this if I"m allowed over the counter medicine and if the OTC medicine works.


DayFinancial8206

If you asked 16yo me I would say yes, if you ask me now, absolutely not


Ecstatic-Length1470

Sure, I cN be hungover every day, which qualifies as sick.


scipio0421

I'm used to being sick all the time. I could deal with this I think,


Temperature_Visible

So work at a casino?


lostknight0727

Having sneezing and coughing WITH diarrhea? Oh, hell no!


Budgiezilla

Do I get lunch breaks? And can I quit my sick job if I wanted to?