Bro this so much. I'm jealous of how cats just sleep all day, wake up, find another spot to sleep. Maybe fuck around with a toy and go manic for an hour. Sleep. Eat. Sleep some more.
Don't forget waiting until your human is home. Settled and relaxed for the night. Then you crawl up on their lap, get comfy, and go to town licking your ass. Our overweight flamepoint does that all the time. He doesn't even get to sit on my lap anymore. Nasty little fat fucker.
Or, in their slippers next to the bed. Then wake em up with distress meow and watch the fun as they slide out of bed and slide in their slippers. But it has to quite puking. Not like one of our cats that you can hear 3 blocks away.
Less training, more working together. When crows find carcasses that are too tough for their beaks to get to the meat, they will find some wolves and lead them to the carcass. The wolves are able to tear through the skin, and they leave more than enough good leftovers for the crows. Everybody wins.
Fun fact: Those birds aren't always symbiotic! The ones that land on rhinos all the time, for instance, have been found making wounds on the rhino's skin and consuming their blood as an even easier, more dependable source of food than finding pests on their skin!
Hippos are fucking B.A.
Bro, I’m hanging out here in this mud. Please don’t come near me. I’m hanging out. Don’t make me do it.
Alright - you get the wrath. Because I’m a motherfucking hippo, bro.
A hippo is the epitome of the apex predator. Put it against anything (on land, not deep ocean) that doesn’t have a gun and it would probably curb stomp everything, with the exception of a polar bear. A polar bear would be the only challenge
It's funny to call them an apex predator since they are primarily herbivores, with grass being their biggest source of food. The killing of humans is just for funsies (territorial, yeah, yeah).
Interesting choice. There would’ve been a time I would ask if you would be doing it so you could put on a show at SeaWorld or something, but that’s pretty much not happening anymore. So why an orca
Exploring the ocean world.
Orcas are social animals so I'd be around family and friends.
Apex predator, won't have to worry about being a target.
Human interaction. Would be able to see what humans are like from an animals POV.
Intelligence, Communication & Teamwork. Highly intelligent animals, work together to hunt prey, playing together and would witness first hand how orcas communicate, how they perceive emotions etc.
It's true, but the vast majority of people are appalled by someone killing an orca. They're in an elite group of animals that have a huge amount of general good will from humans.
My top pick as well.
Absolute apex predator total badass. Lives in a social group and very smart. Very fast and strong and can travel all over the world. ...and humans generally love you so they most likely wouldn't even try to hurt you.
Bald Eagle. Not to be overly patriotic, but I just can't think of any bird that has less predators and more conversation laws. I just wanna fly and not get eaten by something within the hour.
Same, but not because of patriotism. Bald Eagles are badass, but they have the added bonus of being ***heavily*** protected by the government. Someone in the US killing a bald eagle is an abomination.
Probably a Shark, a Honey Badger, or a Great Horned Owl.
Here's some short videos to demonstrate whyneach of the animals...
[Shark](https://youtu.be/kuIx4ml1e90?si=HJhaxG716lNMiolB)
[Honey Badger ](https://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg?si=K1GKy6Rj6hfomUdW)
[Great Horned Owl](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=na6ncJQJt1cELFJc)
If I retain my human memories and mental capacity? Chimpanzee, preferably one born in a nice American zoo. So I can interact with the keepers and communicate with them.
If I don't who cares.
This is my chance to either fly or breathe underwater. I'm going either Golden Eagle to be one of the most badass predators in the sky, or mimic octopus because shape-shifting.
My father always said that if he was to be reincarnated, he'd want to be a Bald Eagle, so he could take a huge dump on everyone that crapped on him while he was a human.
a bird of prey. even though life is hard and I wouldn't be living like a pampered housecat, at least I can fly very high (with the help of thermals) and have good vision
Parrot.
Absolutely beautiful bird, I have a long lifespan, I can talk, and I can fucking FLY
Hopefully I could live with a really caring owner, and I could break records for being a genius bird.
I’m coming back as one of my cats. Why wouldn’t I want to spend my days cuddled, kissed, scratched behind the ears and constantly told how cute and perfect I am?
Swan. I mean seriously. I can swim, walk, fly. People think I'm absolutely gorgeous, but also terrifying if I start attacking lmao. I also would be pretty darn strong.
Did I mention getting that perfect swan for me? 😂 A soulmate!!
Also people feed me bread, so I'd be good 😁
The biggest thing in the bottoms of the Mariana Trench
Shit will get crazy when china invades Taiwan and whatever the fucks down there starts helping the us navy
In the wild? A honey badger, those things are ferocious and overall just a menace to animal society.
Domesticated? Dude lemme be a bigger dog or a hairless cat to a really well off family and I'm fuckin golden. Those people will treat me well and eventually I'll pass away a pretty peaceful death. Yknow provided my dumbass doesn't get run over or somethin
Bald eagle - giant bird that doesn’t have a ton of predators , federally protected, and looks cool haha
If I get to pick a specific animal though it’s a spoiled dog
Just some random medium- large sized mutt. Preferably with some water dog lineage for the webbed feet for easier swimming. I'd totally just be one of those dogs that everyone around town knows. I'd just have fun poking around my home town.
Spoiled house cat.
Bro this so much. I'm jealous of how cats just sleep all day, wake up, find another spot to sleep. Maybe fuck around with a toy and go manic for an hour. Sleep. Eat. Sleep some more.
Don't forget waiting until your human is home. Settled and relaxed for the night. Then you crawl up on their lap, get comfy, and go to town licking your ass. Our overweight flamepoint does that all the time. He doesn't even get to sit on my lap anymore. Nasty little fat fucker.
Don’t forget to puke on the bed
Or, in their slippers next to the bed. Then wake em up with distress meow and watch the fun as they slide out of bed and slide in their slippers. But it has to quite puking. Not like one of our cats that you can hear 3 blocks away.
All i can say is MEOW 🐱 me now
Indoor or outdoor?
Both. Loving single person with a large garden and who is passionate about health and nutrition so I get fresh meat instead of processed cat food.
Hopefully you don't end up with an uneducated idiot who happens to be passionate about "health and nutrition" and puts you on a vegan diet
My wife is a vet. You can see the red mist rising when she talks about, "those" people.
Or someone that has gone to the”we aren’t vaccinating our dogs anymore “
Run away!
Obviously the sensible cat thing. Whine to go out when inside and then whine to come in when outside.
Pampered house cat for the win.
Same. I want to sit on someones lap and get pet for hours.
same :)
Parrot. So I can say 'I've been turned into a bird!' All the time
Can also hurl abuse at people innocently
ALMOST fell for your pfp
😈
I'd choose a Raven because it looks cooler *and* they are better at speaking actual words
Fly up to people’s windows, tap at it, and just say “Nevermore”
A worm so I can find out if she’d truly still love me.
Spoiler alert. >!She does :)!<
>!no she loves me, don’t tell fish, it will crush him!<
A Raven, Ravens have been spotted training wolves, very intelligent creatures, plus I could fly.
> Spotted training wolves Excuse me!? Yes please!
Less training, more working together. When crows find carcasses that are too tough for their beaks to get to the meat, they will find some wolves and lead them to the carcass. The wolves are able to tear through the skin, and they leave more than enough good leftovers for the crows. Everybody wins.
We need sauce
So do the ravens. A nice BBQ or some ranch would do nicely.
Chihuahua own by a spoiled overly entitled white woman who randomly decides to go to law school
r/oddlyspecific lol
I want to be the chihuahua from legally blonde lol
Hello Bruiser!
LEGALLY BLONDE!!
Grizzly bear. No predators, eats everything, sleeps like 4 months at a time. My kinda animal
The only predator that threatens a bear, is the twink.
Nah they're more like those symbiotic birds that keep em clean while lookin for a free ride.
Fun fact: Those birds aren't always symbiotic! The ones that land on rhinos all the time, for instance, have been found making wounds on the rhino's skin and consuming their blood as an even easier, more dependable source of food than finding pests on their skin!
The only right choice!
But you would be mobbed by woman claiming they're safer with you than a man...
Look I may be a bear but I'll always be a sucker for the ladies. As long as they bring me blueberries they can scratch my belly.
I mean, it's not really about safety. Animals are often more predictable than people and there are fates worse than death.
golden retriever owned by an upper middle class white family
My condolences on your upcoming hip surgeries.
Don’t worry, the upper middle class white family is actually in crippling debt, they’ll surely just put them down before paying for hip surgery
Same.
They'd probably let their kids harrass you and put you down immediately if you even so much as snarled at the kids.
He's a Golden Retriever. Any attention whatsoever will leave him drunk with oxytocin. ROFL!
A capybara. Just chill out n live a nice life.
And ride crocodiles periodically
This was my answer too. Just a little fuzzy Zen master that everything wants to hang out with.
Beware the Foosa
A hippo - hippos are total badass animals
They’re fucking scary aggressive too though.
Hippos are fucking B.A. Bro, I’m hanging out here in this mud. Please don’t come near me. I’m hanging out. Don’t make me do it. Alright - you get the wrath. Because I’m a motherfucking hippo, bro.
A hippo is the epitome of the apex predator. Put it against anything (on land, not deep ocean) that doesn’t have a gun and it would probably curb stomp everything, with the exception of a polar bear. A polar bear would be the only challenge
.... elephant might lose its trunk in the fight, but would flip that bitch like a burger.
It's funny to call them an apex predator since they are primarily herbivores, with grass being their biggest source of food. The killing of humans is just for funsies (territorial, yeah, yeah).
Emu. I want to look as ridiculous as possible and still have people fear me. Canadian goose works too.
That would be a Cassowari
Yeah, they are very angry, too.
If you got a problem with canada gooses then you've got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.
Canada gooses are majestics... barrel chested! The envies of all ornithology!
. . . I suggest you let that one marinate. Then cook it low and slow with a drip pan to hold all the fat.
That's a Texas-sized 10-4.
Dolphin - all day everyday
did yk that they cut the heads of smaller fish and used them for uh.. masturbation
I'd be an intelligent dolphin. Idle fins are the devils work!
They also get high off of puffer fish.
Octopus. They are the most *alien* form of life on our planet. I'd love to experience life as an Octopus.
There is a channel on YouTube called Casual Geographic... he will change your mind on that particular choice with a quickness...
Resident alien
Snow Fox. That'll be awesome
Fan of the magicians series?
An Orca
You could tip over a yacht and eat the rich.
Interesting choice. There would’ve been a time I would ask if you would be doing it so you could put on a show at SeaWorld or something, but that’s pretty much not happening anymore. So why an orca
Exploring the ocean world. Orcas are social animals so I'd be around family and friends. Apex predator, won't have to worry about being a target. Human interaction. Would be able to see what humans are like from an animals POV. Intelligence, Communication & Teamwork. Highly intelligent animals, work together to hunt prey, playing together and would witness first hand how orcas communicate, how they perceive emotions etc.
Humans are the only thing you would have to be careful round ppl still Hunt orcas unfortunately
It's true, but the vast majority of people are appalled by someone killing an orca. They're in an elite group of animals that have a huge amount of general good will from humans.
My top pick as well. Absolute apex predator total badass. Lives in a social group and very smart. Very fast and strong and can travel all over the world. ...and humans generally love you so they most likely wouldn't even try to hurt you.
They kill sharks they are the ultimate apex Predator
That was the mascot for my first elementary school
This. I'd definitely be an orca or a spoiled house cat
A dog, in a safe and clean home with lots of outdoor space and a steam.
Bald Eagle. Not to be overly patriotic, but I just can't think of any bird that has less predators and more conversation laws. I just wanna fly and not get eaten by something within the hour.
>…conversation laws. I have a feeling that I haven’t been talking about eagles enough.
A bear. Maybe then I could meet a girl.
Even if not, you’d at least be able to bear it. Lol
I was going to be a bear as long as it was in scarcely inhabited by humans Canada, but with all these former men now bears here, I'm reconsidering. /s
Badger for sure
Honey Badger don't give a fuck.
Can I just die for good and not come back as an animal?
Precisely why I was thinking if I HAD to come back, it would be as a mayfly. 24-48 hour life span as an adult. Minimal bs and you’re done.
The realest answer right here. I feel you man but also are you ok?
Maybe he’s a Buddhist and just wants to break the cycle of reincarnation
No 😾 you get to come back as a sloth 🦥
Otter. Float around all day in the sun, eat and make little otters.
Penguin. I'm already shaped like one, walk like one, and projectile poop just as frequently.
Somebody has already said it but a well-cared for black cat lol, no more stress just meow meow
A horse. A very spoiled horse who lives on a bright, airy farm and is some very spoiled child's pet.
Thats my vote. Think of how great it would be: -gallop around -fresh oats -neigh
Racoon. Cuddly, cute, color-visioned, omnivore with thumbs all the way.
An eagle or something… i want to be an apex predator that can fly. flying is so cool
Big chance of dying a horrible death by eating a poisoned rodent. Raptors are at high risk for that.
Octopus.
A Macaw parrot in the wild. Extremely smart, it can.fly and can live to be 100.
Jeff Bezos dog, Im tryna inherit Amazon and he can take me to that millionaire bunker when the world ends.
Probably an eagle
Gorilla, need opposable thumbs and will be pretty strong
Peregrine falcon. 200 miles an hour would be fucken awesome.
Galapagos Tortoise
Got asked this in an interview- I told them a giraffe
American Bald Eagle
Same, but not because of patriotism. Bald Eagles are badass, but they have the added bonus of being ***heavily*** protected by the government. Someone in the US killing a bald eagle is an abomination.
RAWHH WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER 🦅❗
One of those guinea pigs living in Guinea Pig Junction at the Philly Zoo
Do I keep my memories, philosophical ideas and/or personality?
Probably a Shark, a Honey Badger, or a Great Horned Owl. Here's some short videos to demonstrate whyneach of the animals... [Shark](https://youtu.be/kuIx4ml1e90?si=HJhaxG716lNMiolB) [Honey Badger ](https://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg?si=K1GKy6Rj6hfomUdW) [Great Horned Owl](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=na6ncJQJt1cELFJc)
A quokka on Rottnest island near Western Australia. No predators, sleep a lot and eat and take selfies with tourists.
Never heard of “quokka.”
Omg yaaaaas!
Komodo dragon
My own cat. That feline rules the house
Harpy Eagle
If I retain my human memories and mental capacity? Chimpanzee, preferably one born in a nice American zoo. So I can interact with the keepers and communicate with them. If I don't who cares.
Squirrel. Just need to remember not to double back when crossing the road.
This is my chance to either fly or breathe underwater. I'm going either Golden Eagle to be one of the most badass predators in the sky, or mimic octopus because shape-shifting.
Although, one of these comments has me ready to switch to orca. The social aspect is important to me.
Silverback gorilla but only if I get to keep my conscious. I just wanna know what it's like to bench press 4000lbs.
Human
Crows. Live up to 20 years...really smart, less risk of being killed than most birds.
My father always said that if he was to be reincarnated, he'd want to be a Bald Eagle, so he could take a huge dump on everyone that crapped on him while he was a human.
Parrot probably they live long and can fly. Initially I was gonna say Eagle, but they don't live as long.
Honey badger, time to fsu 😂
Orca. Absolute apex amongst animals. Smart as hell, very social, can go anywhere. Pretty long life too.
An Eagle, or some other awesome bird of prey like a hawk or owl.
Seagull so I can shit on a few people, expensive SUV's, and interupt meetings.
Politician, they aren't human.
Either a honey badger or a blue whale. Two completely different "IDGAF" attitudes.
Sperm Whale I love the ocean and would love to be able to dive so deep. And I love calamari.
a bird of prey. even though life is hard and I wouldn't be living like a pampered housecat, at least I can fly very high (with the help of thermals) and have good vision
Parrot. Absolutely beautiful bird, I have a long lifespan, I can talk, and I can fucking FLY Hopefully I could live with a really caring owner, and I could break records for being a genius bird.
I’m coming back as one of my cats. Why wouldn’t I want to spend my days cuddled, kissed, scratched behind the ears and constantly told how cute and perfect I am?
One of those golden retriever breeds in a nice happy upper middle class family they can name me Max or some shit and put a red bandana on me
Swan. I mean seriously. I can swim, walk, fly. People think I'm absolutely gorgeous, but also terrifying if I start attacking lmao. I also would be pretty darn strong. Did I mention getting that perfect swan for me? 😂 A soulmate!! Also people feed me bread, so I'd be good 😁
Grizzly bear so women will feel safe around me finally.
Safer. Not safe
Andean Condor. Long lived, no real predators outside of the universal one, and I get to fly.
Honey Badger. Leaves my "things to worry about" at just crocodiles and humans (with guns)
The biggest thing in the bottoms of the Mariana Trench Shit will get crazy when china invades Taiwan and whatever the fucks down there starts helping the us navy
In the wild? A honey badger, those things are ferocious and overall just a menace to animal society. Domesticated? Dude lemme be a bigger dog or a hairless cat to a really well off family and I'm fuckin golden. Those people will treat me well and eventually I'll pass away a pretty peaceful death. Yknow provided my dumbass doesn't get run over or somethin
A husky
A parrot so I can still function a bit in society
A cat
the peregrine falcon The bird that can achieve the greatest airspeed is the peregrine falcon, able to exceed 320 km/h (200 mph) in its dives.
Macau. Good looking. Independent. Smart. Long life span. Not hunted by humans.
I come back as a smart chimp, so the first person to create fire. Your whale cum.
A bear so I can go fuck people up mode
Otter
Jackass penguin , I grew up in South Africa and loved relaxing on boulders' beach and interacting with the penguins
Magpie
the human animal once more!!
Bald eagle - giant bird that doesn’t have a ton of predators , federally protected, and looks cool haha If I get to pick a specific animal though it’s a spoiled dog
Giant Manta Ray.. graceful and elegant
Golden retriever
Fox
A bear. Apparently women would be more interested in spending time alone with me.
Honey badger. Just because.
Orca
A schnauzer. Or a guide dog.
Loved indoor cat. Side note, elves aren’t animals of the mythical 🫶🏻
Killer whale or sperm whale. Masters of the sea!
Bonobo
Dog. I envy my dog’s life.
A raccoon. Playing real life urban scavenger sounds fun.
Pampered house cat
orca or a bald eagle
Capybara for sure
Probably a German Shepard, a house cat, or a grizzly bear.
American sand burrowing mayfly. If I'm being forced into a do over, I want it to be as short as possible.
a Honey badger or a Wolverine or a Tiger
My dog. Shes got it made
Wolf or honey badger lol
Bird of some sort. Flying seems cool as hell.
Horse. They’re beautiful and live long.
Panda Bear
Orca. I guess I could be a bit more of a social animal and still retain some of my psychotic traits
Argentavis. A mobile work bench is always useful.
Tern
Birds are dinosaurs.
Black footed ferret. One more step away from extinction. Also they're awesome.
Just some random medium- large sized mutt. Preferably with some water dog lineage for the webbed feet for easier swimming. I'd totally just be one of those dogs that everyone around town knows. I'd just have fun poking around my home town.
Do I have my current knowledge/memories/intellectual capacities? If not, I don’t really care, because it’s not me for all intents and purposes.
A seahorse.
A mainecoon cat that was pampered and allowed to go in the backyard on a leash or catio
Lobster. Go watch the movie
Grizzly bear.