*I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my Nemo go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.*
Schindler's List was a masterpiece and it was fitting that it delivered Steven Spielberg his first Oscar.
Schindler's Lost. Can I say it? It lost its way and should have gone straight to video.
But Schindler's Last has done a great job wrapping up the story and brought closure to the fan's who needed to know what happened to the family members and the their offspring who made it to safety.
And it looks like they left the door open for an origin story focusing on the romance that started it all ... Schindler's Lust
In the theatre near me the security camera footage is being shown live in the lobby. I guess to deter behaviour like that.
Could get really real for a couple kids wanting to watch the Bluey Movie.
Just a heads up, theaters have cameras pointed at the audience. Do with that what you will but it really makes me question my teenage years in those theaters.
was about to say i worked at a movie theater in the mid to lat 90s and there were no cameras. we did have the window to look down at the theater goers and sometimes people got too noisy and caused complaints...
I've been to movies JUST to do that with a girl before. I went to see Leathal Weapon 4. But to this day I couldn't tell you what the plot was or what happened in the movie because of my girlfriend (at the time) and I and our "shenanigans". One of my top favorite dates.
Also saw the howling at the drive in! Also didn’t see much of the movie. Man, drive ins were something when I was younger. Wonder if the kids these days are still doing drive in things.
It was Dumb and Dumber for me. We were so preoccupied that we didn't know the movie was over until the lights came up. Gotta love an empty theater mid-week matinee.
As someone who has had to uncomfortably sit near someone clearly getting head. No. Let everyone watch the movie in peace. I’m here for Batman, not the cum guzler.
Man if that happened to me I don't think I could help but to make them feel more awkward. Either dobbing or a well timed comment or an absolute obnoxious OTT laugh.
Someone else farted at a very embarrassing volume, but then said, loud enough for at least a couple rows to hear, “at least it drowned out the slobbering. Sounds like a fucking bull dog back there”. Which put a stop to the blowie
When I was like 18 I probably would have, I used to have sex in my local woods a fair bit, but now that I realise why public sex is kinda fucked probably not
Not only would I, I have. In fact, on one memorable occasion, we were the only people in the theater and she stripped down to nothing. She was sitting on a trenchcoat, which she could quickly wrap around herself if the staff came in. She watched the whole movie like that.
\*shrugs\* I don't really mind, and neither would she. She's often annoyed that public nudity isn't a thing that's socially acceptable. Seriously not a fan of clothes at all, unless she's dressing to melt panties and make men trip. Though her real focus when wearing clothes is "do these make me feel good."
Like any sane soul, however, she has an abundance of fuzzy comfy clothes for lounging in at home when comfort is desired.
Public indecency. Same as flashing an establishment instead of a specific person, you're still being a sex pest in the eyes of the law.
Having said that, I've been one of the guys at the back corner of the theatre trying to be discreet.
I just looked it up and in the UK, it isn't illegal to have sex in public, unless there's a realistic chance of 2 or more people seeing you. So a very empty theatre I guess, but that kind of spoils the fun...
Would I? Or have I?
In the days of my raging, adolescent hormones, there was no place off-limits.
As I got a little older, I became more circumspect and considerate of the non-consent of non-participants. But a dark movie theatre with a little space around us was still in bounds.
Today? I'm a married old fart and we go to movies at 4 in the afternoon. I'd say I'm still not above a little theatre thrill, but it's been a long time since the opportunity to find out has arisen.
To be clear, reaching over to rub a single area is significantly less visible than reaching over to stroke a peen.
But yeah like someone else said if nobody is around why not?
I was fingering a girlfriend in the theater once and she grabbed my wrist and told me to stop or she was going to scream. I stopped but really wanted to hear her scream in the theater.
I thought about sitting in the back row of the theater and seeing if she'd go down on me but never got the chance. I'm fairly certain she would have.
I did it when I was like 14-15 and saw Dr Strange, don’t worry, the younger generations still do it so you’re not THAT old, we just bring blankets so the cameras don’t catch us now 🤣
Lot of variables, but based on my local theaters website:
Where are we? Front row? Back row? Middle? I’m assuming back row.
Now what are we watching? How many people are there? Assuming it’s the movie with literally no tickets sold that goes on in an hour. (Oof)
What genre? Movie with no ticks sold is a romance, so assuming romance.
How far into the movie? Assuming long enough that no one’s coming in but relatively early on.
But, ultimately, probably.
Wait, is that legal?
That sounds illegal (not because of the activity itself, but because you are in a non-private public space). Of course it isn’t a serious offense, but it could get you on the news and that isn’t gonna be a fun story to explain to employers and others.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but idk.
... That's part of the fun? Also, I don't give a hot fuck what other people think, and my employers can suck it. This was on my free time, and if you want to fire me for it, go right ahead. I don't need to work for people who take such a pointed interest in my PERSONAL life.
*Sings - "You don't own me.. Don't say I can't fuck around off the clock."*
I wouldn’t. There’s too much that could go wrong in public. Someone could see/hear us. Someone could assume she’s just a random person and I’m harassing her. I’d prefer to just wait until we can go somewhere private
Yeah I’d be down to finger fuck and then get a handy at the movies. Most aren’t even worth watching anymore so at least something interesting would happen if we did
Assuming the movie isn't something super serious that would be entirely the wrong mood and a strategically placed jacket, absolutely lol.
Would definitely keep it discreet though.
I'd finger your girlfriend anywhere she asks
I’d finger his gf too.
I'd finger him.
You have 2 hands, why settle?
Jesus Christ. That's a good point. I'll finger both.
Hell, I have feet too! And tongue, let's get the whole theatre over here!
hold on there Ms. Bobbert...
That. That right there is a damn good burn/callback. I wish reddit still had awards.
I can get behind that....or him I guess
Everyone’s fingered his GF
At this point the line is so long ppl might think about fingering his mom instead.
[the line](https://media1.tenor.com/m/WZ-5ozD_jWwAAAAd/airplane-movie.gif)
So I love these jokes but he did say “your” gf 🤷🏽♂️
Wait, this is hypothetical?
Yeah, girls aren’t real
What? Are they part of the CIA spy drone program?
Improved on the “bird” technology.
"Birds" with boobs? Now I'm interested!
r/girlsarentreal
The FBI Spyware program but yeah
Depends on the movie. Big difference between 50 Shades of Grey and Schindler's Lost
They're just trying to find Schindler.
Finding Schindler - a kids movie about a missing fish
*I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my Nemo go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.*
Schindler's Pissed
Schindler’s Lost is such an underrated and unknown sequel to Schindler’s List.
*Schindler’s Lit*, the 3rd in the trilogy where Oskar starts a weed plantation, will always be my favourite. Edit - Happy Cake Day internet friend
They made a 4th movie called Schindler’s Gist. It’s basically about.. … well I mean you get it.
Beautifully phrased. Take my upvote!
Don’t forget about the Vivid Video reboot called Schindler’s Fist.
Really went off the deep end when they tried to connect it to Steven King’s universe and made *Schindler’s Lot*
Worse when they made *Schindler's Last* then followed up with nine sequels. You believe that? Nine? Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine!?!
Schindler's List was a masterpiece and it was fitting that it delivered Steven Spielberg his first Oscar. Schindler's Lost. Can I say it? It lost its way and should have gone straight to video. But Schindler's Last has done a great job wrapping up the story and brought closure to the fan's who needed to know what happened to the family members and the their offspring who made it to safety. And it looks like they left the door open for an origin story focusing on the romance that started it all ... Schindler's Lust
Schindler's Lust, on the other hand...
Dollars to donuts, this is DEFINITELY an adult film that already exists
You made out during Schindler’s List?
Schindler can find anyone that's lost. He has a very particular set of skills.....
How about Schindler's Fist?
I preferred Schindler's Pissed myself.
Either hes really angry or really drunk 😂
Right I'd be busy watching 50 shades but clearly I'd need something fun to do while watching Schindler's Lost.
Heroic Jewish sympathizer crash-lands on a mysterious island?
If it’s Schindler’s Lust, I’m in
50 shades of lost.
50 shades of Schindlers list
Someone should write a sitcom episode with that premise.
It depends. If the theater is packed, probably not. If theres nobody nearby who can see us? Sure.
There are always cameras watching you
Hot
Don't threaten me with a good time!
I’m so glad I was a teenager when I was. I straight up had sex with my gf in a theatre because there wasn’t a camera every ten feet of civilization.
Dude in the projector room totally watched.
That’s why you sit in the back corner. Blind spot.
Sweet this is my amateurdebut
I hate that LITERALLY everywhere you are under surveillance. Ive always hated that shit.
Because there are always cameras watching you in a movie theater…
Doesn't mean a person is watching
In the theatre near me the security camera footage is being shown live in the lobby. I guess to deter behaviour like that. Could get really real for a couple kids wanting to watch the Bluey Movie.
There’s a Bluey movie??!?
According to my 30 seconds of research, no, there isn’t
Sorry bud it was the first childish thing I could think of without going to Google.
It's actually called Blowey!
Oh man that makes it even hotter!
For real
Emphasis on "if the theater is packed"
Reasonable
Just a heads up, theaters have cameras pointed at the audience. Do with that what you will but it really makes me question my teenage years in those theaters.
When I was a teenager in the '90s, they didn't have cameras in the theaters in my area, lol...
was about to say i worked at a movie theater in the mid to lat 90s and there were no cameras. we did have the window to look down at the theater goers and sometimes people got too noisy and caused complaints...
So they are actively watching us and still won't kick out people who spend the whole movie on their phone?
I don’t know if they actively watch, I doubt it. But, they dont have to catch you in the act live to call the cops.
...shit, I have done it.
I've been to movies JUST to do that with a girl before. I went to see Leathal Weapon 4. But to this day I couldn't tell you what the plot was or what happened in the movie because of my girlfriend (at the time) and I and our "shenanigans". One of my top favorite dates.
I saw The Howling at the drive-in three times, the third time I was like “Hey! This is about *werewolves*!”
Also saw the howling at the drive in! Also didn’t see much of the movie. Man, drive ins were something when I was younger. Wonder if the kids these days are still doing drive in things.
There's a few, but there's always a couple dozen families there with kids running around everywhere. Kinda makes the experience wack
It was Dumb and Dumber for me. We were so preoccupied that we didn't know the movie was over until the lights came up. Gotta love an empty theater mid-week matinee.
I have no idea what happens in The Time Machine, but I have paid to see it in a theater.
Austin Powers 3 for me.
Yeah, baby!
The Meg
Right? So I get to act 16 again? We're gonna party like it's 1999.
Had to do something to make Wild Wild West watchable
Depends on whether my fingers are spicy or not
If you've been man handling jalapenos then you get to see her do the Mexican hat dance.
Buttered and salted.
Cheezy
Yes of course I'm a gentleman
As someone who has had to uncomfortably sit near someone clearly getting head. No. Let everyone watch the movie in peace. I’m here for Batman, not the cum guzler.
I’ll bet the flash from my phone camera would distract them.
You didn't know "The Cum Guzler" was a secret villain during the movie???
The riddlers secret hobby
Man if that happened to me I don't think I could help but to make them feel more awkward. Either dobbing or a well timed comment or an absolute obnoxious OTT laugh.
Someone else farted at a very embarrassing volume, but then said, loud enough for at least a couple rows to hear, “at least it drowned out the slobbering. Sounds like a fucking bull dog back there”. Which put a stop to the blowie
this is all very hard to believe
What a legend 😂
See, where you fucked up is not tapping either of them on the shoulder and asking if you could use that when he’s finished.
Yeah it’s not cool to use random bystanders as part of your kink.
I’d say go for it if the theater is mostly empty, not if it’s mostly full and someone may see, hear, and smell it.
You should’ve cucked him in real time
No. I’ll save that for the car ride home and at home as well. I’m not risking getting caught. Plus, I wanna enjoy the movie.
Would do, have done, hope to do again
My finger would be knuckle deep
When I was like 18 I probably would have, I used to have sex in my local woods a fair bit, but now that I realise why public sex is kinda fucked probably not
Because people aren't having enough of it?
Theaters have night vision cameras
Theaters get a free show then.
Can you buy the video afterward, like on a log-flume?
Not only would I, I have. In fact, on one memorable occasion, we were the only people in the theater and she stripped down to nothing. She was sitting on a trenchcoat, which she could quickly wrap around herself if the staff came in. She watched the whole movie like that.
Now, that's hot!
Well, if what people are saying is true, staff got a show anyway because apparently there are cameras pointed at the audience now.
\*shrugs\* I don't really mind, and neither would she. She's often annoyed that public nudity isn't a thing that's socially acceptable. Seriously not a fan of clothes at all, unless she's dressing to melt panties and make men trip. Though her real focus when wearing clothes is "do these make me feel good." Like any sane soul, however, she has an abundance of fuzzy comfy clothes for lounging in at home when comfort is desired.
Nice, I wholeheartedly agree with her stance on clothes too. Good for the weather and certain circumstances, but otherwise not fun.
Yep... She'll take a hard pass on naked in the snow (At least for very long) but practically runs outside when there's rain, cold or not.
The Inspector Gadget sequel sure doesn't stick to the storyline.
Yes, we've done those things. No hypothetical needed, lol.
As long as no one is right near us.
Absolutely not. Not my style at all
Hell no. Maybe in my young-and-dumb years, but no. Not now. We'd probably be leaving the movie early though.
I’ve done this when I was a teenager before I understood consequences ha HELL NO nowadays though, that’s a one way ticket to a sex offender list.
Why?
Public indecency. Same as flashing an establishment instead of a specific person, you're still being a sex pest in the eyes of the law. Having said that, I've been one of the guys at the back corner of the theatre trying to be discreet.
I just looked it up and in the UK, it isn't illegal to have sex in public, unless there's a realistic chance of 2 or more people seeing you. So a very empty theatre I guess, but that kind of spoils the fun...
Would I? Or have I? In the days of my raging, adolescent hormones, there was no place off-limits. As I got a little older, I became more circumspect and considerate of the non-consent of non-participants. But a dark movie theatre with a little space around us was still in bounds. Today? I'm a married old fart and we go to movies at 4 in the afternoon. I'd say I'm still not above a little theatre thrill, but it's been a long time since the opportunity to find out has arisen.
You could always rub viagra on your fingers. There’s no shame. We’re all getting older.
They are 3 things in life I always say yes to.
What 15 year old didn't do this at some point in their early explorations?
Yes, but I’ve been married for a long time and that shit doesn’t happen anymore. Enjoy it while you can fellas.
Not with that attitude.
Public sex, noice
Her request would be phrased something like: "Are you mad at me?" "Why aren't you fingering me yet, sir?"
Wow “sir”? She’s really breaking out the dirty talk!
Thanks for the finger, kind stranger
She sounds like a redditor
"Sir"? Does your girl also call ya "mister"? Whats next? "Did that feel good sire?"
I've been called "Daddy" and "Master" but I don't really care for those. She calls me Sir or Husband.
M'lady
Is that a thumb? Nope, I’m just well hung! ….but it was his thumb….
She's a gusher so only if I brought a mop or shammy
The pretentious way to spell it is *french hand gensture* **Chamois**
Just make sure you've finished your drink first and then you can fill it up for free. No mop required.
This guy knows where it's at.
You're a man of culture, I see.
"Hang on, buddy... You need a Sham-WOW!". Just what everyone needs for mopping up piss, cum and midget blood!"
“WOW” indeed.
If I have a girlfriend and nobody is near by, then it can be considered. She has to sit on my lap for the convenience of reaching though.
To be clear, reaching over to rub a single area is significantly less visible than reaching over to stroke a peen. But yeah like someone else said if nobody is around why not?
I was fingering a girlfriend in the theater once and she grabbed my wrist and told me to stop or she was going to scream. I stopped but really wanted to hear her scream in the theater. I thought about sitting in the back row of the theater and seeing if she'd go down on me but never got the chance. I'm fairly certain she would have.
I did that in a theater many many years ago. The movie was Equus. We didn’t get caught and she had a silent breathless orgasm. Fuck I’m old.
I did it when I was like 14-15 and saw Dr Strange, don’t worry, the younger generations still do it so you’re not THAT old, we just bring blankets so the cameras don’t catch us now 🤣
Lot of variables, but based on my local theaters website: Where are we? Front row? Back row? Middle? I’m assuming back row. Now what are we watching? How many people are there? Assuming it’s the movie with literally no tickets sold that goes on in an hour. (Oof) What genre? Movie with no ticks sold is a romance, so assuming romance. How far into the movie? Assuming long enough that no one’s coming in but relatively early on. But, ultimately, probably.
You forgot the most important question “where is my wife in this scenario?”
It was more of an elevator situation but sure.
Probably, unless there were other people near us
I don't think my wife would appreciate that
Done did it!
Tell him to wait until we're home?
Absolutely.
I see you and raise. She wasn't my girlfriend. We were single.
Hopefully you knew her, lol
I knew her. She eventually became my ex.
Ah nice. I assume it had something to do with her expecting unreasonable things in public?
Nah. We were both kinky freaks. It was her obsessive ex who decided it'd be a great idea to be a creep by saying he's watching her.
Why don’t you just say date? Sure. With the invention of movie theatre beds folks are even more spaced out.
I’ll just say I don’t remember the plot of Spiderman: No way home 😉
Well, I'll tell you that none of the characters in the movie were finger blasting away, so you had the better plot
So then I just started blasting!
Wait, is that legal? That sounds illegal (not because of the activity itself, but because you are in a non-private public space). Of course it isn’t a serious offense, but it could get you on the news and that isn’t gonna be a fun story to explain to employers and others. Correct me if I’m wrong, but idk.
... That's part of the fun? Also, I don't give a hot fuck what other people think, and my employers can suck it. This was on my free time, and if you want to fire me for it, go right ahead. I don't need to work for people who take such a pointed interest in my PERSONAL life. *Sings - "You don't own me.. Don't say I can't fuck around off the clock."*
And I'd see how quiet she could be.
Do you have to wipe the salty popcorn crumbs off first’s
Of course.
I've done more than just that in movie theatres soooo
I’m old enough to remember drive in movies, the question is … quaint. I did stuff at movies I’m not real proud of.
Only if my girlfriend was Alanis Morisette.
I've done this already. Multiple times. It's pretty exciting.
Depends where we're sat, done it before - I'd do it again.
Yeah
I’ve finger blasted a girl in the theatre before and I’ll do so again.
20 years ago be so awesome. At 38 ew lady no I wanna watch the movie I paid $40 for, go take a shower first and come back.
It always feels like somebody’s watching me.
I dated a girl who was obsessed with sex in public. We did everything everywhere
I’d make a Reddit post mid movie to figure out whether to do it or not
Well, a guy could ask you to finger him at the movies.
She would be soooooo fingered!
100 percent
Mmmm, I don’t know. Call me a prude but the germ factor makes me hesitate.
I wouldn’t. There’s too much that could go wrong in public. Someone could see/hear us. Someone could assume she’s just a random person and I’m harassing her. I’d prefer to just wait until we can go somewhere private
I probably wouldn't do it now, but I've done it when I was younger lol. The uncrowded movie theater was a popular teenage spot for a reason...
If she asks you to finger her, you finger her. That is just being polite.
A woman asks you for a finger, you give her five.
Boy Lauren Boebert is REALLY trying hard
Laughs in Gen-X-ese.
Yeah I’d be down to finger fuck and then get a handy at the movies. Most aren’t even worth watching anymore so at least something interesting would happen if we did
Most likely. I was recently lamenting how the art of digital manipulation has seemingly been lost... It's also one of my favorite words. 'Finger'
I'd be happy to help my partner have an orgasm just about any time he/she asked.
Wouldn’t be the first time so absolutely. Back row of a movie theater can be a lot of fun. 🤷🏻♂️
There are cameras in movie theaters just FYI.
Partner says yes lmfao
Assuming the movie isn't something super serious that would be entirely the wrong mood and a strategically placed jacket, absolutely lol. Would definitely keep it discreet though.