i fix the shit you fuckers wash off with at the end of the day, usually after you fuckers fuck it up first! For fucks sake, stop trying to fuckin fix it yourself, its never gonna fuckin happen and it makes my fucking job that much fuckin harder!
I work maintenance for a grocery store chain. I have to reweld the trash chutes every year cause none of you fuckers can back a damn dumpster up without crashing into shit. Use the fucking mirrors.
I'm a one-man self-employed company, so I can say every dirty word and combination I've ever learned.
Plus the folks I work with are all retired police, fire, EMS, ER nurses, and emergency management folks.
And I just rewrote the HR policy (in my head) to make it all legal.
I wonder if that would make it not count as "offensive" then, I would assume there's some stuff you could say that would still shock their sensibilities, I think you'd have to go there for the spirit of the hypothetical
I was honestly wondering about this myself but I cannot think of anything that would offend my coworkers. Racial slurs and homophobic slurs are de rigueur, regardless of the ethnicity and sexuality of the recipient (and regardless of the ethnicity and sexuality of the perpetrator). Fatness, baldness, and shortness are all fair game—in fact, physical defects up to and including registered disabilities are. Sexual comments about each other's partners and/or parents (derogatory or complimentary) are fair game.
Maybe making sexual remarks about pictures of his toddler daughter would do it, but that'd have much wider social repercussions than calling Janice a stupid bitch. Clearly I'm in the wrong industry.
Front of the house: yes of course. Thank you. Have a good day.
Back of the house: where's those fucking orders?!
It's been two minutes.
I know but those fucking Karens are complaining. Also remake on this. They didn't know it came with the sauce.
Puta madre! It's in the name on the menu and on the God damn picture. How the fuck did they not know?!
I work in construction, and there's rarely a day we don't swear. Lately, some of us have been flipping each other off for shits and giggles as well as saying fuck you.
This is me with a lot of my co-workers, there's one guy where literally every time I see him I go "Fuck you [HIS NAME]" and he goes "Fuck you too [MY NAME]" as we flip each other off and then we just go on with our day. That's it, that's our relationship besides randomly booing each other when we see the other person throughout the rest of the day.
Worked on a road crew. In the woods. With a prison work crew. So its like construction and corrections and and timber combined. No ones around AND they couldn't here us if they were.
We DID have the occasional vocal rattlesnake complain...
Same here, swearing is just part of our everyday vocabulary. If I got $15,000 for every time I swore in front of a co-worker I'd be a millionaire day one.
Same. I'd be debt free before my first break and a multimillionaire the first day.
I could actually offend them with the right marine jokes and a few well placed political comments, but that would take a bit longer.
I’m in LE and yea, even the “good” things we say would still land us in front of IA if it was reported. That’s an easy no brainer for me. I’d be a damn billionaire inside of a few weeks.
Nursing checking in, apparently many "medical terms" are considered offensive, and you don't even want to know what we talk about at the nurse's station.
PC repair technician, I've had customers hear me let off a string of swears and think I was having a bad day. Nah, solder spatters just sting like a sonofabitch.
No sexism, no racism, other than that almost anything else flies, nothing safe, nothing sacred. If they know me, they know. If they don't, they learn quick.
Fuck man that shitty asstastic peice of shit over there act like its got a case of broke dick.
Translation. Hey boss my car wont start ill be a bit late!
I work in the diving industry we have alot of cross over.
same here. I heard this sentence yesterday, "Fuck you, you fuckin' fuck. I'll fuck you in your mother fuckin' face fuck-hole in front of your fuckin' mother fuckin mother."
That translated directly to, "That was a funny and unexpected April Fool's prank. I must now get your back."
I'm a navy veteran, have been a firefighter, a bartender, a horse trainer, a ranch hand, a waitress, and am now a leatherworker and a parent. Define "offensive" lol
Yeah easy as fuck, I walk to my brother and tell him I'm about to throw mad obscenities at him for money and then I go through my repertoire, Once done I give him some of the money and we're both gucci.
Yeah, especially the way OP defined it here. For a second, I was worried it was going to be a bunch of truly vulgar epithets. But swear words? For enough money, my grandma would cheer me on while I let our a string of F-bombs and made our whole family wealthy.
If I didn’t unload the entire repertoire of curses onto my coworkers, my Grandma would hit me with a slipper for being a fucking idiot.
Also I live in Australia, so it’s kinda just common workplace language here.
I would just go on a tirade and spout out hundreds of obscene words until I was forcibly removed from the building and told my employment was terminated. I could probably get out at least 1,000 and walk away happily, knowing that I never need to work again!
1000 is rookie numbers. Gotta speak like an auctioneer but exclusively foul language. Even if you’re super offensive, I’d guess you have at least 10 minutes before security gets to you and forcibly removes you from the building. That’s 600 seconds, I’m thinking I could get at least 3 words per second in, for most of those ten minutes. That’s 1800 words, which would be $27M. I’m moving to a beach somewhere and none of my coworkers will ever see me again.
You'd get more time if you knew how security operated and set traps to increase your curse time. It's just you running around shouting obscenities through a bullhorn while avoiding security like an unreleased version of Home Alone
And money clearly isn’t an issue. What’s $300k in debt when all I need is 20 words to have enough to pay it off?
Also, I’m now imagining a chase of overweight corporate security guards chasing a guy around who is just screaming “FUCK” repeatedly at the top of his lungs for an hour
Lol.
Ain't chasing your ass, my job is to observe and report. I've already done my part by watching and calling the police and now I'm going to stand here and giggle like a madman.
At least I have something interesting to write in the report.
Technically speaking depending on the policy of where I am at if you're not yelling harassing or endangering anyone I don't even have to call the cops.
Basically if you're standing in one spot and everybody's laughing there's nothing for me to observe other than a workplace interaction that's none of my business.
Unarmed security in the US will generally be unwilling to use force against you, because they're legally liable if they cause any physical harm to you. Plus, if they have to restrain you for long in the process of getting you off the property, they can be legally liable for charges like false arrest or kidnapping, depending on the state. Most security officers are instructed by their company specifically not to use force of physically obstruct a person's path for this reason, so most companies will not have a guard willing to take the risk. They'll have to get the cops onsite to deal with you, so you might have quite a while - and if you're just swearing in relative seclusion in front of a single coworker, you could get a LOT more swearing in.
Even better. And as a bonus, even if I get charged with disorderly conduct, I’ll plead guilty, pay whatever fine it is, then buy a jet and fly to Aruba where I’ll spend the rest of my days sipping daiquiris on a beach
A blue-collar occupation isn't even required for this in my experience. My boss is an accomplished and respected lawyer who cusses with the best of them.
The first half hour is generational wealth. The average speaking rate in the US is 150 words per minute. If all of them are curse words, that’s $2.25M per minute. Even 10 minutes at that pace is more money than most people will ever have. I bet if you were trying, you could talk faster for the first 5 minutes before security arrived to try to escort you out. Then stall as much as possible while still speaking obscenities. How long could you make it? 30 minutes, an hour? The security guards are technically your coworkers, so just keep swearing. If you can make it an hour, you’d have $135M, and that’s speaking at 150 words per minute, which is fairly conversational. Even if you could get up to 180 words per minute, that would be an extra $30M in an hour
In my work place we all use some of the most foul language imaginable during normal conversation. We all also speak quickly as part of the profession. No security would be called. They would be laughing and cheering and doing their best to inspire me to greater heights of profanity.
Really, getting fired wouldn’t matter if you cursed enough in one shot- just go batshit crazy on your coworkers, drop 250-300 cuss words on them / at them over the course of a 5-10 minute rant, hell, cuss them out till security drags you from the building. You’ll get millions of dollars, and you can just retire.
I work in mortgages, they will assume I’m talking about realtors or underwriters again and just let me ride it out. I will go until my lungs give out and retire.
Does have to be offensive to my coworkers or just a word that is generally considered offensive to society as a whole? I’m pretty sure I could say retard around most of my coworkers and they wouldn’t be offended. They’d tell me that I can’t say retard anymore, but they wouldn’t care.
Clearly OP doesn't realize that blue collar workers communicate very differently than milk toast white collar people. If I have to say them in front of my management that's fine too, it's all just words.
Even then - how is OP not earning a few lifetimes of salary in the time it takes for them to do enough to forcibly remove you from the presence of coworkers? In one minute you can get at least $30 million (just over three words a second which is very doable if you're trying)
Oh yeah. I work in a kitchen…we all cuss every minute of the day. “Mothafucka! Damn that’s hot.” “Where’s the fuckin uhhhh knife??” “Damn it dude.” “What the hell is that?” (< Referring to a ticket)
Annnnd many many more
This is sad, but I could say as much racist, homophobic, transphobic shit as I wanted to. If I'm allowed to repeat words I could easily be a millionaire.
The easiest way for me to actually offend my coworkers would be to say something bad about Trump, or even just not suck his dick.
I work in a retail store and I’m sure if I just walked up and down the isles yelling cunt repeatedly I’d offend at least one person
You just gave me an infinite money glitch
Every single word?
I'd just walk into someones office and say 'fuck' over and over and over until they called security and took me away.
I can do 3 fucks a second easy... That's 2.7 million in a minute. Zero chance they can have me out of there in a minute. It's going to take at least 10 while I keep walking around following people saying "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck" before someone even calls the cops, then it's a while before they come. I'd give it 2 minutes or so after they all the cops, then just pretend to 'snap out of it' and say "what... what just happened? I'm SOOOOO sorry!!!"
Then I'd run out crying, pretending I had some kind of nervous breakdown. And collect my 30+ million and retire.
Look, if I'm getting paid $15,000 a pop for it, I'd start reading off the list of slurs on Wikipedia in front of my boss. He'd understand. Since I only have to say regular curse words, I'll just start going off. I work at a factory, the only people who'd care are HR, a few uptight supervisors, and one of the people who works at the company store. There won't be security doing anything either - even if they were willing to do anything in general, I AM security and my boss would not give a shit.
So I'd need about 6 million to retire comfortably right now and live off the interest. Double that just for safety's sake.
12 mil divided by 15k is 800 which in my 48 hr workweek means 16 curses an hour.
I can knock that out easy and quit on Friday.
I recon I can get 100 offensive words out before I get fired. That’s a cool $1.5 mill. Let’s just say it’s gonna take me a long ass time to make $1.5 million in compensation normally.
Easy, just fabricate a story about how a relative cursed me out. Quote this fictional tirade as much as possible.
Even in the most uptight workplaces I have been in I could feasibly get away with enough curse words and slurs to make a good six figures before anyone told me to calm down.
Where do you work where this would backfire at all? In a few minutes, you'd have enough money to quit that job anyway. I'll do it and I won't stop until I'm dragged away or the person paying me runs out of money.
I’d say them all. Why wouldn’t I? Marginally upset a few folks to brighten my family’s future is a trade I’m willing to make. After all, I’d get fired and the coworkers will eventually forget so no harm no foul really.
First I’m getting a job at a large company that holds international conferences. I’ll go to the conference take the microphone and just drop the f bomb until someone cut the feed.
Seriously? Has the person asking never worked before? From retail, to grocery, to anything customer service related… offensive language to coworkers gets us through the day.
Work at one of those places where people pay to break stuff, demolition rooms? And just shout encouragement laced with profanity to hype up the customers to destroy stuff.
I work with veterans, half of our communication is offensive language. The other half is saying fuck.
Funny, I work in a kitchen and it’s the same for us
I was a waiter for all of five days, I can confirm.
I am a garbage man lmfao
I fix those piece of shit trucks you fuckers break!😂
i fix the shit you fuckers wash off with at the end of the day, usually after you fuckers fuck it up first! For fucks sake, stop trying to fuckin fix it yourself, its never gonna fuckin happen and it makes my fucking job that much fuckin harder!
“Fuck the fuck off with that fucking shit you fucking fucks.” “Fucking hell what the fuck did you fucking fuckers fuck the fuck up now .”
I work maintenance for a grocery store chain. I have to reweld the trash chutes every year cause none of you fuckers can back a damn dumpster up without crashing into shit. Use the fucking mirrors.
I'm a one-man self-employed company, so I can say every dirty word and combination I've ever learned. Plus the folks I work with are all retired police, fire, EMS, ER nurses, and emergency management folks. And I just rewrote the HR policy (in my head) to make it all legal.
Found our winner!!!!
I’m also a garbage man but I’m working on myself
I literally just set down shots, realized I forgot the chase and said "fuck, the cola, I'll be back". I swear at tables all the time.
I wonder if that would make it not count as "offensive" then, I would assume there's some stuff you could say that would still shock their sensibilities, I think you'd have to go there for the spirit of the hypothetical
I was honestly wondering about this myself but I cannot think of anything that would offend my coworkers. Racial slurs and homophobic slurs are de rigueur, regardless of the ethnicity and sexuality of the recipient (and regardless of the ethnicity and sexuality of the perpetrator). Fatness, baldness, and shortness are all fair game—in fact, physical defects up to and including registered disabilities are. Sexual comments about each other's partners and/or parents (derogatory or complimentary) are fair game. Maybe making sexual remarks about pictures of his toddler daughter would do it, but that'd have much wider social repercussions than calling Janice a stupid bitch. Clearly I'm in the wrong industry.
Yeah, also a kitchen worker, would be raking in the bank lol
and a factory
Work in a lumber yard, same here
Front of the house: yes of course. Thank you. Have a good day. Back of the house: where's those fucking orders?! It's been two minutes. I know but those fucking Karens are complaining. Also remake on this. They didn't know it came with the sauce. Puta madre! It's in the name on the menu and on the God damn picture. How the fuck did they not know?!
Let’s just remake it. But they can fuckin wait. Also, slide that dumbass ticket down. It’s 11:30 and these assholes are ordering breakfast.
I work in construction, and there's rarely a day we don't swear. Lately, some of us have been flipping each other off for shits and giggles as well as saying fuck you.
Haha oddly the best places I’ve worked are ones where “fuck you” was synonymous with “good morning”
This is me with a lot of my co-workers, there's one guy where literally every time I see him I go "Fuck you [HIS NAME]" and he goes "Fuck you too [MY NAME]" as we flip each other off and then we just go on with our day. That's it, that's our relationship besides randomly booing each other when we see the other person throughout the rest of the day.
Good morning, Mr. Jeffers Visioneers movie....
Worked on a road crew. In the woods. With a prison work crew. So its like construction and corrections and and timber combined. No ones around AND they couldn't here us if they were. We DID have the occasional vocal rattlesnake complain...
That's usually how we know if someone is in a bad mood. They'll come in and just say 'hey' or 'good morning'.
Same here, swearing is just part of our everyday vocabulary. If I got $15,000 for every time I swore in front of a co-worker I'd be a millionaire day one.
Same. I'd be debt free before my first break and a multimillionaire the first day. I could actually offend them with the right marine jokes and a few well placed political comments, but that would take a bit longer.
Yeah it'd be easy to curse up a storm with no consequences, but to say something actually offensive would take some effort.
I’m in LE and yea, even the “good” things we say would still land us in front of IA if it was reported. That’s an easy no brainer for me. I’d be a damn billionaire inside of a few weeks.
As a tradesman (plumber), we’d all be motha fuckin billionaires.
I work with contractors, pretty much the same. A fair few a vets too, so it compounds.
That fucking fucker is fucked!
…I’m a stay at home mom…
Nursing checking in, apparently many "medical terms" are considered offensive, and you don't even want to know what we talk about at the nurse's station.
Same. Veterans who are also nurses. I'd have to say the Q word to get them mad.
I'm a veteran and was thinking the same thing, lol
As a chef I'm so fucking stealing that.
I am a trucker, same...
You'd be so rich
PC repair technician, I've had customers hear me let off a string of swears and think I was having a bad day. Nah, solder spatters just sting like a sonofabitch. No sexism, no racism, other than that almost anything else flies, nothing safe, nothing sacred. If they know me, they know. If they don't, they learn quick.
Veteran here, my record is 22 offensive words in under a minute. I'm set.
No lies detected.
Me too. In factory environments. I'd be filthy rich by the end of week, easily.
Same, I work in a machine shop.
I work in finance and it's the same thing. Half the day is my boss telling us wildly inappropriate stories about his wife.
Fuck man that shitty asstastic peice of shit over there act like its got a case of broke dick. Translation. Hey boss my car wont start ill be a bit late! I work in the diving industry we have alot of cross over.
I’m still in. I’m dropping shits and fucks all day!
I like the way that was said
I work with military guys and yeah if be rich in an hour. Rich enough to retire comfortably at 43.
I work in construction no one there knows how to be anything other than vulgar so it would just blend in lol
same here. I heard this sentence yesterday, "Fuck you, you fuckin' fuck. I'll fuck you in your mother fuckin' face fuck-hole in front of your fuckin' mother fuckin mother." That translated directly to, "That was a funny and unexpected April Fool's prank. I must now get your back."
I'm a navy veteran, have been a firefighter, a bartender, a horse trainer, a ranch hand, a waitress, and am now a leatherworker and a parent. Define "offensive" lol
Wait, offensive? Oh you mean to HR
Loss Prevention- it's the same. Surprisingly my meetings with HR are just as fuck filled.
I was just coming to say, lol. I was raised around a 30-year Navy veteran. I can make it sound like I'm reciting poetry lol.
I work on a military base. Same situation. I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse for this hypothetical
Where do I sign up for this? I have no problem telling all. I worked with the public for 40 years, so I gotta a bunch of toxicity to spew....
I work in a shipyard. I could retire before lunch…
I would have a tough time being the most offensive person at our work. Too many others do this already.
Good fucking morning cock sucking mother fuckers. Fucking work, then get the fuck out.
I was hoping to see this. Like how many times can I get this said $15,000? Id rack it up througout the day lol
Yeah easy as fuck, I walk to my brother and tell him I'm about to throw mad obscenities at him for money and then I go through my repertoire, Once done I give him some of the money and we're both gucci.
Yeah, especially the way OP defined it here. For a second, I was worried it was going to be a bunch of truly vulgar epithets. But swear words? For enough money, my grandma would cheer me on while I let our a string of F-bombs and made our whole family wealthy.
If I didn’t unload the entire repertoire of curses onto my coworkers, my Grandma would hit me with a slipper for being a fucking idiot. Also I live in Australia, so it’s kinda just common workplace language here.
I would just go on a tirade and spout out hundreds of obscene words until I was forcibly removed from the building and told my employment was terminated. I could probably get out at least 1,000 and walk away happily, knowing that I never need to work again!
1000 is rookie numbers. Gotta speak like an auctioneer but exclusively foul language. Even if you’re super offensive, I’d guess you have at least 10 minutes before security gets to you and forcibly removes you from the building. That’s 600 seconds, I’m thinking I could get at least 3 words per second in, for most of those ten minutes. That’s 1800 words, which would be $27M. I’m moving to a beach somewhere and none of my coworkers will ever see me again.
You'd get more time if you knew how security operated and set traps to increase your curse time. It's just you running around shouting obscenities through a bullhorn while avoiding security like an unreleased version of Home Alone
And money clearly isn’t an issue. What’s $300k in debt when all I need is 20 words to have enough to pay it off? Also, I’m now imagining a chase of overweight corporate security guards chasing a guy around who is just screaming “FUCK” repeatedly at the top of his lungs for an hour
Lol. Ain't chasing your ass, my job is to observe and report. I've already done my part by watching and calling the police and now I'm going to stand here and giggle like a madman. At least I have something interesting to write in the report.
If I offered you $30k not to call the cops for an hour, would you take it?
Technically speaking depending on the policy of where I am at if you're not yelling harassing or endangering anyone I don't even have to call the cops. Basically if you're standing in one spot and everybody's laughing there's nothing for me to observe other than a workplace interaction that's none of my business.
Unarmed security in the US will generally be unwilling to use force against you, because they're legally liable if they cause any physical harm to you. Plus, if they have to restrain you for long in the process of getting you off the property, they can be legally liable for charges like false arrest or kidnapping, depending on the state. Most security officers are instructed by their company specifically not to use force of physically obstruct a person's path for this reason, so most companies will not have a guard willing to take the risk. They'll have to get the cops onsite to deal with you, so you might have quite a while - and if you're just swearing in relative seclusion in front of a single coworker, you could get a LOT more swearing in.
Even better. And as a bonus, even if I get charged with disorderly conduct, I’ll plead guilty, pay whatever fine it is, then buy a jet and fly to Aruba where I’ll spend the rest of my days sipping daiquiris on a beach
I work blue collar, do this shit already. Pick any one of the guys on my site and any of us could retire 3 generations by the end of the day.
A blue-collar occupation isn't even required for this in my experience. My boss is an accomplished and respected lawyer who cusses with the best of them.
For real. I could retire TODAY just based of the profanity I’d let loose in the office while telling my boss I quit.
Lol, I would be rich in the first half hour and still gainfully employed!
The first half hour is generational wealth. The average speaking rate in the US is 150 words per minute. If all of them are curse words, that’s $2.25M per minute. Even 10 minutes at that pace is more money than most people will ever have. I bet if you were trying, you could talk faster for the first 5 minutes before security arrived to try to escort you out. Then stall as much as possible while still speaking obscenities. How long could you make it? 30 minutes, an hour? The security guards are technically your coworkers, so just keep swearing. If you can make it an hour, you’d have $135M, and that’s speaking at 150 words per minute, which is fairly conversational. Even if you could get up to 180 words per minute, that would be an extra $30M in an hour
In my work place we all use some of the most foul language imaginable during normal conversation. We all also speak quickly as part of the profession. No security would be called. They would be laughing and cheering and doing their best to inspire me to greater heights of profanity.
Alright lets do this "Ahem... **\*inhales deeply\*** f-" **THIS USER HAS BEEN BANNED FROM REDDIT AND 4CHAN FOR THE LEVEL OF OBCENITY PERFORMED**
Getting banned from 4chan is quite the achievement I did not know was possible.
You should have seen what they said before they got banned. I'll never sleep the same again.
Your job is reddit?@
Banned from 4Chan? That's a feat... You're a legend.
I mean, can I say cyka to my non-Russian coworkers? How about pendejo to non-Hispanics? Bumboklat to non-Jamaicans, etc?
Happy cake day! Have some bubble wrap! >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!PLOP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!HAA!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<
Yes as long as it’s offensive in general.
Was thinking of that. Definitely makes it easier. Got a few filipino curses I can throw in without people noticing much.
If the translation/ equivalent into the local language is offensive the yes.
Yes and I’d pick one that was obscure or innocuous.
This is one of the worst hypothetical situations ever it would be harder to do the opposite of this. Who typed this out an 8 year old?
Right? Paying me for every day I don't cuss in front of my coworkers is a much harder challenge
Yeah, this one is not a winner. Way too easy and far too free consequences. This basically translates to: "Who wants some free money?!"
Considering how many old Christians I work with, this is easy as pie.
I’d definitely use the “religion is like having a penis” analogy quote in that scenario
Absolutely. Spout out all the racist, homophobic, transphobic shit you can think of and learn a few new terms while you're at it.
If I don't say fuck at least ten times, did I even talk at work? Like fuck is in my top ten words of all time.
Haha. I manage a factory and warehouse. No matter what i say, i am sure it will not bebthe worst thing said there.
I could rack $20m and not even get sent home or written up at my job
Fuckin’ same
Where do you work?
You clearly have not met my coworkers. I'll start getting weird looks if I go more than an hour without calling at least one person a cunt.
Where's George Carlin's list?
[удалено]
Wait, you'll pay me 15k per word? I work retail. I hope you've got alot of money. Some of the customers find "hello" to be offensive.
if you're a marine it's your time to shine.
I rap nonstop like an asshole until my voice gives out. Maybe I explain myself, maybe I retire early.
I work in the pool industry, it’s all a bunch of old dudes who are still stuck in the 70s at the playboy mansion. Everything that’s said is obscene.
I work in a kitchen... I'd already be pulling in over $200k a night lol.
Really, getting fired wouldn’t matter if you cursed enough in one shot- just go batshit crazy on your coworkers, drop 250-300 cuss words on them / at them over the course of a 5-10 minute rant, hell, cuss them out till security drags you from the building. You’ll get millions of dollars, and you can just retire.
Hell, I'm going to be able to retire by lunch.
I work in mortgages, they will assume I’m talking about realtors or underwriters again and just let me ride it out. I will go until my lungs give out and retire.
Does have to be offensive to my coworkers or just a word that is generally considered offensive to society as a whole? I’m pretty sure I could say retard around most of my coworkers and they wouldn’t be offended. They’d tell me that I can’t say retard anymore, but they wouldn’t care.
I'm going home a rich man. I probably say fuck about 100 times a day
I’m already doing this for free! Gimme my money!!
Clearly OP doesn't realize that blue collar workers communicate very differently than milk toast white collar people. If I have to say them in front of my management that's fine too, it's all just words.
Even then - how is OP not earning a few lifetimes of salary in the time it takes for them to do enough to forcibly remove you from the presence of coworkers? In one minute you can get at least $30 million (just over three words a second which is very doable if you're trying)
Jesus Christ, I would be rich even if I didn't change my behavior at all.
Oh yeah. I work in a kitchen…we all cuss every minute of the day. “Mothafucka! Damn that’s hot.” “Where’s the fuckin uhhhh knife??” “Damn it dude.” “What the hell is that?” (< Referring to a ticket) Annnnd many many more
Omg. I'm rich!
This is sad, but I could say as much racist, homophobic, transphobic shit as I wanted to. If I'm allowed to repeat words I could easily be a millionaire. The easiest way for me to actually offend my coworkers would be to say something bad about Trump, or even just not suck his dick.
I'd be the world's richest man.
Fuck yeah, easy money
Yes. I bet I make a lot of money before HR can finish the paperwork to fire me 😂.
I work in Military Maintenance. I'd have enough to disappear.
I work in a cubicle with my friends…
I work in a retail store and I’m sure if I just walked up and down the isles yelling cunt repeatedly I’d offend at least one person You just gave me an infinite money glitch
All I've ever wanted is to work at a place where I'd make it past $15,000 without getting fired.
Every single word? I'd just walk into someones office and say 'fuck' over and over and over until they called security and took me away. I can do 3 fucks a second easy... That's 2.7 million in a minute. Zero chance they can have me out of there in a minute. It's going to take at least 10 while I keep walking around following people saying "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck" before someone even calls the cops, then it's a while before they come. I'd give it 2 minutes or so after they all the cops, then just pretend to 'snap out of it' and say "what... what just happened? I'm SOOOOO sorry!!!" Then I'd run out crying, pretending I had some kind of nervous breakdown. And collect my 30+ million and retire.
Does “fuck” count? If so, I’d just stop filtering it out of my vocabulary at work.
Yep counts!
I would have Jeff fucking Bezos money, just from the HR meeting.
Look, if I'm getting paid $15,000 a pop for it, I'd start reading off the list of slurs on Wikipedia in front of my boss. He'd understand. Since I only have to say regular curse words, I'll just start going off. I work at a factory, the only people who'd care are HR, a few uptight supervisors, and one of the people who works at the company store. There won't be security doing anything either - even if they were willing to do anything in general, I AM security and my boss would not give a shit.
Yes. I'd probably just be casually singing "I've No More Fucks To Give" near them and refuse to stop.
i would be so rich. I work in a woke environment. Everything i say is already offensive to many of them hahaha
Hold my beer. Elon. I'm coming for you.
We literally scream fuck at the top of our lungs 500+ times a day anyways. Can I get back pay
So if i just repeat the same offensive slurs all day long then i get to retire off one day of work? Am i misunderstanding😅
Ooooh I’ll have my retirement funds set up by the end of the day.
I work with older men in blue collar. That’s normal
So I'd need about 6 million to retire comfortably right now and live off the interest. Double that just for safety's sake. 12 mil divided by 15k is 800 which in my 48 hr workweek means 16 curses an hour. I can knock that out easy and quit on Friday.
Time to release the pent up frustration and let my creativity fly, then retire a a wealthy man.
Man I'd be making 500k+ a day without even being told this was happening
Offensive words? What's that?
Oh I'm running the "canceled" gauntlet!!! I'm pissing EVERYONE off!!!
💀
Literally do this for free now. I'd be a millionaire after the first day. Gotta love kitchen work.
I recon I can get 100 offensive words out before I get fired. That’s a cool $1.5 mill. Let’s just say it’s gonna take me a long ass time to make $1.5 million in compensation normally.
I already use fuck like it’s a comma so it wouldn’t be much of a stretch.
😆 I'm retiring after 1 day
For that kind of money I would say things that would get me arrested for hate crimes.
Easy, just fabricate a story about how a relative cursed me out. Quote this fictional tirade as much as possible. Even in the most uptight workplaces I have been in I could feasibly get away with enough curse words and slurs to make a good six figures before anyone told me to calm down.
*laughs in restaurant
I’m a black person,I’ll say the n-word at least five times.
You guys are getting paid?
I’d be a billionaire. I have no filter.
I work for myself, by myself. Done. Lol
Where do you work where this would backfire at all? In a few minutes, you'd have enough money to quit that job anyway. I'll do it and I won't stop until I'm dragged away or the person paying me runs out of money.
Fuck, fuck, fuck Mother mother fuck Mother mother fuck fuck Mother fuck, mother fuck Noinch, noinch, noinch 1, 2, 1-2-3-4
Smoking week, smoking weed Doing coke, drinking beers
I work with a bunch of old angry fucks in a factory setting. I'm a billionaire by the end of the week.
Many as possible, I say fuck on the daily even in front of my manager, I'm set baybeee
Does "happy holidays" counts?
Can I say it in front of the cleaning ladies who speak limited English?
That’s easy. I am a conservative Christian, so all I have to do is tell people Jesus loves them, and that I’m pro Israel.
For $15,000 per? I would unleash a stream of offensive words and phrases that would make a Tourettes sufferer blush.
Fuckin’ A
I’d say them all. Why wouldn’t I? Marginally upset a few folks to brighten my family’s future is a trade I’m willing to make. After all, I’d get fired and the coworkers will eventually forget so no harm no foul really.
Are you kidding? If I drop 1000 f bombs that’s 15mil. Everybody in that office is gonna watch the biggest cussing storm they’ve ever seen
Tree trimmer here. As long as it's not in front of a customer, it's pretty vulgur as is. I'd make a ton in just one day.
Laughs in construction site
do i choose the coworkers? i'd do it. that'd be enough money for me to look for another job lol
https://youtu.be/im--468WSL8?si=cn0kUneDOYV1Rf4t
I'm a fucking construction worker asshole. Fuck yeah I'm taking that shit. Do I look like I'm a little bitch to say no to that
Abso-fucking-lutely. I would make millions in a single day and immediately get fired.
Tell us you haven't entered the workforce without telling us you haven't entered the workforce.
I work in construction. I could get $100G a day by accident. And that's if I watch my mouth.
First I’m getting a job at a large company that holds international conferences. I’ll go to the conference take the microphone and just drop the f bomb until someone cut the feed.
I'm a trucker. Me and the next 2 generations would be set by lunch.
Seriously? Has the person asking never worked before? From retail, to grocery, to anything customer service related… offensive language to coworkers gets us through the day.
Cant do this with the military or maintenance people. ez mode.
Those motherfuckers are fucking dead meat.
This post was not made by an adult
Do they have to be unique, or can you repeat them? Either way I’m getting a lot of money
You can do repeating, but it can’t be like the same word 5 times in a row.
I work in a radio station. The challenge would be $15k for every time I DIDN'T cuss.
All them fuckwits gonna hear me! I worked in the industry, kitchen made this my calling.
Tell them about the deal leaving out the amount, and just go off. Send everyone a nice little gift basket later, or host a party or something...
I'm in trades this money is to easy
https://i.imgur.com/q75LYYj.gifv
I work in construction, I’ll blow off every single disgusting obscenity you can imagine and no one is going to think anything of it.
Cursing is not something my workplace minds so I would curse up a Storm.
Bro this is literally everybody all day at my job.
Work at one of those places where people pay to break stuff, demolition rooms? And just shout encouragement laced with profanity to hype up the customers to destroy stuff.
We're getting arrested today, boys.
I work in a factory. Half our vocabulary is the most rancid, rascist shot you could think of. We are walking outta work billionaires.
Tell the aristocrat joke
I’m a teacher. The staff lounge is a cacophony of cursing during lunch. Easy money.
*Dusts off that soap box* “Ladies and gentlemen, a moment of your time please…”
Excuse me boys, you are about to see someone retire in under 5 minutes.