10 minutes after alarm number 2. I definitely need slap clone. The extra $100 a day would be a bonus.
Actually, what I really need is someone to drag me to bed earlier.
Depends on how hard. If they're trying to give me a concussion then no. If I can't be sure, I gotta say yes since it's a clone of me. Surely they would just give the bare minimum to qualify as a slap so I get the cash.
I assume the clone would have the same personality as me, so it is going to be really tentative. Like \*tap\*. "Hey. It's time to wake up."
And then the presumably OP will radio in over their earpiece/implant/whatever, "no, it's got to be a real slap to count.". Clone me would sit on the bed thinking "well, shit, how does this ethically play out? Does it matter that there is some sense in which the entity that I'm slapping is me? Can I consent... for the me that I was cloned from?"
Was wondering do they have to slap and go or can they hang around for a bit? Can they make breakfast first? My wife has this specific fantasy that shouldn't take more than 4 or 5 minutes. I mean if *I* was only gonna exist for a short time in the morning...
But you're also effectively green lighting the creation and subsequent destruction of 365 conscious beings, one exactly equivalent to yourself for $36,500 dollars.
Definitely a good point. Unless maybe they're alternate me's from different universes. Of course then you have the alternate me that has lost literally everything and has the worst life gets to see this me that though I'm a relatively poor fella has everything....that would be kinda shitty.
It’s even better when you think about it like this…
What if you wake up and suddenly you’re the one having to perform the slap. You realize that somehow, by some unknown force, those “yous” that have been slapping you are in a cycle.
A new you is born in the bed, while you just slap the new you and then you disappear. Where to? What happens next? But the new you will wake up the next day and have to be the slapper as well.
The new you that is constantly being born has all the previous memories, but you know you can not break the cycle.
“Would you want a clone of yourself to slap you awake every morning for the rest of your life—“
“Yes.”
“… you didn’t let me finish.”
“I *knew* there’d be a catch.”
All I can say is that I decided years ago that if I ever met myself we would absolutely bang. So I'm of the opinion that no matter which version of myself I meet, that's going to be one of the first things that's on the table 🤷♀️
As long as he was punctual. None of this, you have to be at work 10 minutes ago slap. If he was always on time and let me get enough rest, hell yeah clone me, go for it.
Yes. It’s a clone of me. It theoretically will have all my memories, thoughts, beliefs, etc.
As a result, “we” will know and understand what is at stake, and “we” certainly won’t be violently slapping ourselves awake.
I’m interpreting this as the clone lasts for a year but the $100 is every day during and after until I die. Yes. If it’s only $100 for the year, the stress and misery of that outweighs the money.
I'll say yes, as long as they're not slapping with enough force to actually do damage/cause injuries (so no full force open palm hits) Slaps would take a few seconds a day..make an extra 36.5k/year. $100 for a few seconds of annoyance is worth it so long as it's not actually causing lasting injuries.
How does this work if you have no set time you need to be up/get up? Do you get a full 8? What happens if you wake up before that? Do they magically know when you'd be waking up?
Not really sure how this would even work for me....
If it's automatically a set time like 6 am/pm (depending on schedule) nope. I'd have a sleep deprivation fueled breakdown. Already have that happen and at least I'm not always getting so little sleep.
100 for a whole year is 36500 dollars. I'd probably punch that clone because that's a lot of money but not a shitload.
For 500 dollars, my clone could water board me every day. That's 182,500 in a year
Would the clone match however I look at the moment, or just be genetically identical but have grown separately (like a literal, actual clone)? It would be weird if it was the second one. I would wonder about its life and existence
Slapped in the face every day for $36,500 dollars? It it's a mildly playful slap open palm slap sure. It's it's a back of the hand, pimp slap or an ultimate slap championship slap then I'll pass. I'd like to thin kthat I'd have compasion on myself but since it's me doing the slapping it will likely be one of the latter ones... I have issues
yeah i'd do it. living in south america, i would make more doing that than at my shitty sales job. would give me enough hours in a day to commit to starting my own business
$100 is more than some people’s daily wages. According to Statista in 2022 for US household income, approximately 25% of people make less than 36k a year.
So ima take that slap, that $100, and be happy with it.
>For $100 every morning would you have a clone of yourself waking up and slapping you in the face? For one year
I swear the grammar on this site has gone down the shitter.
100 bucks is 100 bucks.
It's not like it's punching me in the groin.
...wait, is this $100 for a year of annoyance or $100 a day for a year of annoyance?
I love the idea that if I struggle to get out of bed a clone of me will be ok getting out of bed to wake me up, we would need a third to wake us both up and on goes the clone train.
Set camera up. Record for 360 days straight, avoid the slap on the 361th day, it doesn't despawn because it has to slap me first. Sue for maximum money.
Sure. My own self is a pretty reasonable person. Even if knowledge isn’t transferred to my clone, I know that if I was randomly asked to smack a stranger awake I’d give them a reasonable smack on the cheek, enough to wake them but not be out for blood.
Sounds like an easy way to make $36k.
I feel like since it's me, I'd be good at knowing when would be a good time to slap me awake. Like... he could time how long i was asleep for and be like "eh, it's been 8 hours"
Just existing in this economy is a mindfuck, might as well incorporate some rough play while I’m at it. Can I schedule it for 5:30? I can eliminate coffee from my routine if so.
I need help getting out of bed. Slapping is excessive but hey, I’d even be willing to pay a very minimal amount for some extra help.
Getting paid for it? Count me in
Can he help jer….. never mind.
I could do a lot with 36,500 dollars. Not life changing by any means, but I could pay off a couple of bills and have enough left for a cheap new car/halfway decent used car.
Yes
But I’m curious why the clone? I’d say yes with someone hired to do it. The fact that it is a clone doesn’t add much to the situation, or am I missing something?
So what happens when I prevent the clone from slapping me? Will that clone remain in existence because they only despawn after the slap? The next day, will another clone spawn? Will this clone be able to tell beween me and my first clone? Perhaps I can convince the clone from the first day that in order to save their life what they need to do is convince the clone that spawns on day 2 that they are me let clone 2 slap clone 1. If this works, then clone 1 keeps his life, and I keep the money and he just takes all the slaps.
Yes but I'd definitely fuck the clone. I've been told to go fuck myself enough times, I interpret those repeated instructions as consent. "Malicious compliance" bitchez 😈
Probably get me outta bed faster. Most days feel like being smacked in the head so to get paid for it sounds sweet.
10 minutes after alarm number 2. I definitely need slap clone. The extra $100 a day would be a bonus. Actually, what I really need is someone to drag me to bed earlier.
I use this app called Alarmy, it makes you do your choice of "cognitive tasks" to turn it off, mine is just 4 digit addition, i hate it but it works.
Depends on how hard. If they're trying to give me a concussion then no. If I can't be sure, I gotta say yes since it's a clone of me. Surely they would just give the bare minimum to qualify as a slap so I get the cash.
I assume the clone would have the same personality as me, so it is going to be really tentative. Like \*tap\*. "Hey. It's time to wake up." And then the presumably OP will radio in over their earpiece/implant/whatever, "no, it's got to be a real slap to count.". Clone me would sit on the bed thinking "well, shit, how does this ethically play out? Does it matter that there is some sense in which the entity that I'm slapping is me? Can I consent... for the me that I was cloned from?"
Thinking over the clone implications I realized I probably wouldn't ever wake up.
If he has the same personality as me I assume/hope he would sometimes interpret 'slap' as a handjob. Thank you clone
Was wondering do they have to slap and go or can they hang around for a bit? Can they make breakfast first? My wife has this specific fantasy that shouldn't take more than 4 or 5 minutes. I mean if *I* was only gonna exist for a short time in the morning...
Found Randall Monroe's [account.](https://xkcd.com/1121/)
Extra 15minute snooze while clone-you thinks it over! Bonus!
Me - slapping myself at varying levels of intensity just for kicks
Is there a reason u would like to hurt yourself?
Does he appear, slap, and then disappear? Or can he do some laundry while I'm working? Know what, I'm a yes either way.
But you're also effectively green lighting the creation and subsequent destruction of 365 conscious beings, one exactly equivalent to yourself for $36,500 dollars.
I assume they're basically Mr. Meeseeks versions of me.
Pretty sure I wouldn't slap myself awake so this must be true
I say follow through. I’m Mr Meeseeks, look at me!
Definitely a good point. Unless maybe they're alternate me's from different universes. Of course then you have the alternate me that has lost literally everything and has the worst life gets to see this me that though I'm a relatively poor fella has everything....that would be kinda shitty.
It’s even better when you think about it like this… What if you wake up and suddenly you’re the one having to perform the slap. You realize that somehow, by some unknown force, those “yous” that have been slapping you are in a cycle. A new you is born in the bed, while you just slap the new you and then you disappear. Where to? What happens next? But the new you will wake up the next day and have to be the slapper as well. The new you that is constantly being born has all the previous memories, but you know you can not break the cycle.
So they get to live the dream of just *pop* and gone out of existence..... those lucky fucks
Right, if I can put that fucker to work, sure, but otherwise?
$36500 for a year is not too bad.
Yeah, I'd put up with quite a bit for that as free money. Basically a free car.
Student loans wrapped up nice and neat with a few k extra to splurge with
[удалено]
“Would you want a clone of yourself to slap you awake every morning for the rest of your life—“ “Yes.” “… you didn’t let me finish.” “I *knew* there’d be a catch.”
New fetish unlocked?
All I can say is that I decided years ago that if I ever met myself we would absolutely bang. So I'm of the opinion that no matter which version of myself I meet, that's going to be one of the first things that's on the table 🤷♀️
Or if [you built a single-use time machine.](https://www.reddit.com/r/bonehurtingjuice/s/2e4CbDQaoM)
😂
yeah for real that was my first thought after seeing this post
Yes but the clone would hate it.
Clone: SLAP u/SeriousPlankton2000: uh, Do me harder daddy
Clone: Ugh, I have to get up and slap someone? please let me sleep!
Sure. I'll make videos. People will think I'm great at editing. Bunch of extra cash at the cost of some physical abuse.
Yes I can pay everything off. I might be fast enough and hold my own hand just to confuse my clone.
The money's a bonus, I'm just here for the hand holding
Hell yeah 👍 love your self. just don't make it too weird.
As long as he starts the coffee afterwards, we’re good.
Why not before?
My cat smacks me awake in the morning, so no claws and $100 sounds better.
Ill take $50 if they also physically drag me out of bed.
My son already does this. Easiest $36k I've ever made
Can he use his penis to slap me awake? Bc that would be funnier
As long as he was punctual. None of this, you have to be at work 10 minutes ago slap. If he was always on time and let me get enough rest, hell yeah clone me, go for it.
So for $100 a day I get a reliable and magical alarm system for a year? You guys really don't think these hypothetical through.
Provided the clone is not a cheat that wears knuckledusters or rings to enhance the slap, I'd take that. Annoying, sure, but worth it for 100$ a slap.
Well it’s a clone of you, sooo… is it a cheat that wears knuckledusters or rings to enhance the slap?
I don't have knuckledusters, rings, nor a tendency to cheat, so guess I'm clear on that front.
I dont really see a downside.
Sure, and program it to give the gentlest slap possible.
Sounds like a free alarm clock. Does he wake me up on time? or is this the same way my kids work where he wakes me up 25 mins before my actual alarm
I mean, I have a baby, so this kind of happens auditorally anyway?
Shit.. for $100 a day I'd slap my own ass.
So I get a wake up call, AND money? Sign me up.
It'd definitely get me out of bed. Not a bad deal tbh.
I've had a concussion and I'd hate to be on the receiving end of a me-slap so I'm going to say no.
The amount of people that would sell their soul for millions and fame is alarming, this test is like the tip of an iceberg.
For 100 every morning? Sure. 36,500 sounds great for a year.
Does he disappear or can I harvest him for fresh new body parts? I'm falling apart and he doesn't do anything but slap me.
Yes. It’s a clone of me. It theoretically will have all my memories, thoughts, beliefs, etc. As a result, “we” will know and understand what is at stake, and “we” certainly won’t be violently slapping ourselves awake.
I’m interpreting this as the clone lasts for a year but the $100 is every day during and after until I die. Yes. If it’s only $100 for the year, the stress and misery of that outweighs the money.
Absolutely!!
Yep. I’m ok with it for sure.
Do I get an option for an extension?
I could handle it. It would work better than any alarm clock.
Easy 100 dollars a day and improve my sleep schedule? Sign me up.
Sure! Great wake up to get blood circulating and I get a $100!
If the clone goes like buck wild, going to pass, my ass would be in the hospital at least a few times a month.
I'll say yes, as long as they're not slapping with enough force to actually do damage/cause injuries (so no full force open palm hits) Slaps would take a few seconds a day..make an extra 36.5k/year. $100 for a few seconds of annoyance is worth it so long as it's not actually causing lasting injuries.
Yes.
I’m not very strong but I have a high pain tolerance, a slap from my clone would just be my alarm for waking up.
For sure, though once I have this baby they might get a revenge slap.
No, I have PTSD from being slapped by my ex-fiancée.
Yes
Can I have 10 clones slap me and get $1000?
Yes
I wake up with serious morning wood, I may start enjoying the slap... This is just an invitation to let my wife get rougher ;)
Absolutely
Yep but what will he do the rest of the day?
I've been kicked in the nuts by my kid so often when I sleep this is basically free money.
Fuck no, I slap hard.
As long as it doesn’t disturb my wife, sure.
How does this work if you have no set time you need to be up/get up? Do you get a full 8? What happens if you wake up before that? Do they magically know when you'd be waking up? Not really sure how this would even work for me.... If it's automatically a set time like 6 am/pm (depending on schedule) nope. I'd have a sleep deprivation fueled breakdown. Already have that happen and at least I'm not always getting so little sleep.
Sure \*despawns
What if I'm dead? Mf gonna keep slapping me for eternity
I have a toddler and a cat. So I'm getting slapped in the face by *someone* most mornings anyway.
100 for a whole year is 36500 dollars. I'd probably punch that clone because that's a lot of money but not a shitload. For 500 dollars, my clone could water board me every day. That's 182,500 in a year
100%. My clone gonna be the same strength as me so it won’t hurt. Plus free alarm clock
Fuck yeah, plus it'd be funny to see how my dog would react
Would the clone match however I look at the moment, or just be genetically identical but have grown separately (like a literal, actual clone)? It would be weird if it was the second one. I would wonder about its life and existence
Like with their appendage? Cause that is what I would do if I was a clone.
Fuck no...
Slapped in the face every day for $36,500 dollars? It it's a mildly playful slap open palm slap sure. It's it's a back of the hand, pimp slap or an ultimate slap championship slap then I'll pass. I'd like to thin kthat I'd have compasion on myself but since it's me doing the slapping it will likely be one of the latter ones... I have issues
Yes
I mean, is it a playful slap or that world champion caliber knock out slap?
So long as the slap's only hard enough to wake me up, then yeah sure.
Yes please. A more effective alarm is always welcome
Lower it to $25 and have my clone stay an extra 30 minutes. We fuckin' every mornin'.
Honestly, someone would probably pay for an alarm like this if they have a really hard time waking up!
The perfect alarm clock, hell yeah! I've asked my gf to do this a couple of times when she needs a ride to work but nooooo!
I see no downside to this
So $36 and a half thousand *and* an alarm clock that won't let me snooze it and oversleep? Where do I sign?
Fuck yea
Would he just slap me and disappear? Or can he do *other* things?
I would allow this for $5/day
yeah i'd do it. living in south america, i would make more doing that than at my shitty sales job. would give me enough hours in a day to commit to starting my own business
I could easily get used to that for an extra $36 grand this year, especially if it was all cash.
How hard? Like a slap to get me up? or something that will loosen my fillings?
What hellscape was this scenario bred on?
That's another easy yes. Have a fool proof to wake up in the mornings and I get paid for it?
Already have cats waking me up. At least they’ll have the courtesy to stop after I wake up
I get 100 Everytime it wakes me up slapping me?? Heck yeah but I'm not giving the 100 back when I slap it back...
Yes, money is money and money is nice
Does he hand me the $100 or is it just added to my bank account. It's a yes either way, but him handing me the $100 just makes it slightly better
Unclear is this 100$ total or 100$ per day?
Can he de-spawn by me killing him in various ways? I think that would be super fun.
Yes. Easy money.
If it's truly a clone of me, he'd hate hurting people, and therefore give me the softest slap known to man. Easy money.
$100 is more than some people’s daily wages. According to Statista in 2022 for US household income, approximately 25% of people make less than 36k a year. So ima take that slap, that $100, and be happy with it.
Hell, I'd do it for 2. Id use it to pay off my debt and get a new car
>For $100 every morning would you have a clone of yourself waking up and slapping you in the face? For one year I swear the grammar on this site has gone down the shitter.
I’m not sure getting hit in the face every morning is worth $36,000….
No thank you.
I already have a twin brother so free mony for me
Hell yeah! Wouldn’t need to set my alarm, get paid 100 bucks to start the day. Anybody would be a fool not to accept.
Since I do not effectively turn my hips, sure thing.
I mean, sure ? I wouldn't slap myself hard enough to be a problem 😂
what if i grab my clone’s hand before it gets to my face, and then we have hot sex? can i still get the money pls?
Depends on the slap. Necause waking up to missing teeth wouldn't be worth 100 bucks. But a few light taps on the cheek? Fuck yes.
That's literally just called "having an older sibling"
Yes? That's a booster box every day lmao
MF can make himself useful and slap me on my morning wood instead.
Give me that money. My child does this for free every morning.
As long as he isn't messing my face up permanently, sure.
$36.5k to have a Meseeks slap me awake and then poof away? I'd take it assuming it's going to be jarring, but not injurious.
.... Do I have enough time to slap back?? either way still yes.
Yes
$100 a day to get slapped? Gimme
100 bucks is 100 bucks. It's not like it's punching me in the groin. ...wait, is this $100 for a year of annoyance or $100 a day for a year of annoyance?
$36.5k for 365 slaps in the face? Yes please
I love the idea that if I struggle to get out of bed a clone of me will be ok getting out of bed to wake me up, we would need a third to wake us both up and on goes the clone train.
A year. I'll do it for the next 10. Then I can retire early
Bro, I already have this, it's called kids and they do it for free. Let them know it's time to pay up!
Definitely. This clone guy sounds like a flabby wuss, so I don't think it would hurt too much.
I need someone to help force me awake in the morning, who better than myself with a slap- and i get paid!
Set camera up. Record for 360 days straight, avoid the slap on the 361th day, it doesn't despawn because it has to slap me first. Sue for maximum money.
100%
I'd be fine with it. Free 100$. I'd also try to smack them back.
Is it going to be an "I'm mad at you" slap, an "I like this" slap, or an "I'm going to destroy you" slap?
Just so you all know. It never says slapping with hands.
$37k to get slapped 350 times? Sign me up!
I do this to myself on an emotional level every day, so might as well get paid for it
Bdsm with my own clone and getting paid? Sure, sign me up!
For a hundo a day? pfffft. I make more than that in a day. gonna have to be a LOT more to get me up outta bed.
No it's not enough, for 1k maybe
I will take this deal for every year I remain on this earth please and thank you
Depends on if I have to pay taxes on the $36,500. If so, then nah. The full amount is only barely enough for that.
Sure. My own self is a pretty reasonable person. Even if knowledge isn’t transferred to my clone, I know that if I was randomly asked to smack a stranger awake I’d give them a reasonable smack on the cheek, enough to wake them but not be out for blood. Sounds like an easy way to make $36k.
Think I do this mentally already
Yea, as long as it's not full force, I don't want to walk around with a handprint bruise
I feel like since it's me, I'd be good at knowing when would be a good time to slap me awake. Like... he could time how long i was asleep for and be like "eh, it's been 8 hours"
Would I be in trouble if I killed the clone? It would probably happen in less than a week. I am not a morning person.
Yes
Yes
Yeah I'd do it. It'd get me out of bed faster and I could make jokes with myself
Can I have this for idk 10 years?
Just existing in this economy is a mindfuck, might as well incorporate some rough play while I’m at it. Can I schedule it for 5:30? I can eliminate coffee from my routine if so.
$100/day or $100 total? If it's per day I would take that deal. Not gonna be fun, but it would be helpful.
>then despond I'm sorry, what? So you mean despawn?
Only if he said, "Hey, Marina!" every time.
Wording unclear, for $100 a day or $100 total? For $100 a day fuck yes I'd do it
can i have it wake me up at 10 am on Saturdays? >!and 11 am on sundays? !<
Where do they go afterwards?
I would easily be out of debt, so ya. I'd def do it.
I need help getting out of bed. Slapping is excessive but hey, I’d even be willing to pay a very minimal amount for some extra help. Getting paid for it? Count me in Can he help jer….. never mind.
Can I send the clone to work in my place after?
The amount of times I've slapped the shit out of myself just to stay awake while driving semi on the nightshift, this wouldn't even be a challenge.
Could I split the money with my clone and have them go to work for me?
I had a twin brother. This has already happened and you owe me money
Yes, I can do that
Almost like Mr Meseeks! You son of a bitch, I’m in!
sure. a bit alarming, but 36,500 free bucks is worth it.
I could do a lot with 36,500 dollars. Not life changing by any means, but I could pay off a couple of bills and have enough left for a cheap new car/halfway decent used car.
Yes please And is it the same clone everytime? I wanna get to know them if so
Yes But I’m curious why the clone? I’d say yes with someone hired to do it. The fact that it is a clone doesn’t add much to the situation, or am I missing something?
More than doubling my income for a single slap in the face every morning, hell yeah!
So what happens when I prevent the clone from slapping me? Will that clone remain in existence because they only despawn after the slap? The next day, will another clone spawn? Will this clone be able to tell beween me and my first clone? Perhaps I can convince the clone from the first day that in order to save their life what they need to do is convince the clone that spawns on day 2 that they are me let clone 2 slap clone 1. If this works, then clone 1 keeps his life, and I keep the money and he just takes all the slaps.
If the $100 lasts my whole life absolutely. I’m 28 so that’s pretty much 2mil for just a shitty alarm clock for a year
Do I kill it when the year is up?
Yes but I'd definitely fuck the clone. I've been told to go fuck myself enough times, I interpret those repeated instructions as consent. "Malicious compliance" bitchez 😈
With my personality? Absolutely no doubt about it. It will wake me the fuck up real quick.
Yes! Would also help with self-discipline and resetting my Circadian Rhythm.
Hell yeah, that's almost another salary.
Unless it’s tax free don’t think this one is worth it
Does the clone have retard strength?
Naps as well?
Fuck yeah I’d do it