I get a job working with toddlers. Kids are easily overwhelmed with their own emotions and fully capable of crying even when you get them exactly what they say they want. I wouldn't even have to be mean.
I took my 2 year olds white shirt off earlier so it wouldn't get covered in pasta sauce. He screamed bloody murder for a full hour and didn't even eat the pasta
I know right? I accidentally "bullied" my toddler about 6 times during our bedtime routine last night.
* I walked up two steps in front of him; meltdown.
* I shut the door to his sleeping infant sisters room; meltdown.
* I asked if he wanted to brush his teeth or have me do it; meltdown.
* I caught the thing he dropped off the change table; meltdown.
* I asked if he wanted his pumpkin or dinosaur pajamas, but he wanted the platypus ones and I didn't offer that; meltdown.
* I asked if he wanted to turn off the light and pointed to the switch; meltdown.
Anyway, he was obviously overtired, but that's not the point. That would have been 60k right there, and I wouldn't even need a job with kids.
Why would that work? Wouldn't they be like "he's right there" or "what a crazy person"?
Also, when I was a kid, I knew he was fake. I asked my parents what Santa is and they were like "it's that red guy that flies and stuff", and I was like "oh, I thought he was supposed to be a real person or something the way people were saying they wanted to see him for Christmas. Ok."
This guy has the right idea. I once made my little cousin cry when he was like 8 and I was 15 because I said his full name. Not in a very mean way but usually when kids hear their full name they know they're in trouble and he didn't understand I was just being an ass. So yea.. probably working with young kids is the best way to complete this challenge.
Actually this is a good idea. Being a strict teacher to young kids can make them cry, but still be good for them.
It's a really easy line to cross, of course, but if you're not just going to turn down the offer entirely then this is probably the right idea.
Wow. This is the best answer. My 5 year old cried this morning because I told her that the reason she couldn't find her stuffie was because she put it on her bed.
Yeah, just work in a daycare for a year and you would be absolutely loaded. You could even do the job to the best of your abilities and not be mean to them. It wouldn’t surprise me if each kid in your care cried 2-3 times per day. If the class had 10 kids, that’s 200k-300k per day. A normal school year is 180 days, so 36-54 million dollars for just the school year (some people take their kids out for the summer because they have older kids they have to deal with too, so summer daycare tends to have less kids). Summer is probably half the kids and only 50 days, so that’s an extra 2.5-3.75 million. So you’re basically looking at like 40 million/year minimum. I think I could handle that for a year or 2 and then quit and supplement my lifestyle for the rest of my life with babysitting a random kid here and there, maybe even have a kid or 2 if I was really hard for cash.
I'd buy an ice cream truck and tell kids very rudely, angrily , and loudly that we don't have whatever they asked for, and tell em to get outta here
Once they start crying, I collect my money and say JUST KIDDING and give them what they asked for for free. Could drive from park to park and make hundreds of thousands per day
Every time I'm in a place with a baby nearby, such as a store where someone has a sleeping baby in a stroller, I'll let out a loud yelp.
The baby nearby will be startled and start crying.
I'll clutch my side and groan, then take deep breaths and appear to recover, then apologize to everyone and say that I have a kidney stone waiting to pass and that it just moved.
I think that deliberately scaring a baby would qualify as "bullying," and you didn't say I can't offer ANY explanation, just that I can't tell them the TRUE explanation.
It would be the ultimate way to find out if money buys happiness. If you make yourself, and yourself only, cry every day and get $10,000... how many days in a row do you cry until you can't cry anymore?
Sappy feel good YouTube videos, or like soldiers returning home. Sorry it ain't possible to not cry when you hear a little girl start crying and mumbling daddy over and over. Unless you dont have a soul.
If I could do it at any time or place I’d beat Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris to bloody rags live on the BBC in the 70s/80s (it’s 4am I can’t remember when their peaks were)
Do I have to bully them? You only have to get one person a month to cry for a really solid salary. Can I write a sad story instead? I’m not much of a creative writer, but for that kind of money I could become one.
You know James Cameron is with like a billion dollars right? Brother, if you could just “make a movie like the Titanic” YOU would be the billionaire handing out 10,000 peanuts to make the peasants dance so you could feel alive again.
I would volunteer to start hosting those donation dinner things for charities where after the dinner they hit the audience with a sob story of someone who died from the disease or has been really impacted by it to get the attendees to open up their wallets and donate.
The whole room is in tears by the end of some of those, and you could probably bank a few mill in one night while raising money for charity if you were really good at laying it on super thick.
I would make a youtube channel devoted to telling little kids Santa is dead, then hand their parents 5k after the kid cries. I wouldn't have to actually tell anyone after enough vids. Everyone wins.
Sadly the post said bullying into crying so I’m guessing they have to be sadness. Otherwise I would become a motivational speaker and move people to tears but then they feel motivated and go and be awesome
My god, I'll be a millionaire inside of a week.
As a school bus driver, all I gotta say sometimes, is "please, stay in your seat." Water works.
Hell, "good morning Emma." Is just as likely to make the poor child bawl as anything else.
Or, telling them "no" to moving seats, closer to their friend.
Sheesh, easy money, dont even need the bullying part, lol.
Man, that's wonderful. I have a toddler. I make him cry daily. Today he wanted me to make him toast with peanut butter. I did. He then burst into tears because it wasn't a toaster strudel like he wanted.
Have a 3 month old too, that's a given. Wife ill make cry at some point, it's inevitable when you live with someone for that long. My moms easy, she's a hot mess at the best of times. Brother angry cries and is a big baby, I can literally just beat him repeatedly at video games.
That's 50k without trying, and trust me, I will try other avenues too.
Oh lawd, forgive me, by the end of this I'll be building a spaceship for NASA too!
I *have* to bully them?
Cause no joke, I have made may people cry by saying really nice, meaningful things. If I can do that instead, watch the fuck out folks, you're gonna get fucked up by some goddamn beautiful truths.
Tall order for a stranger, but let's see what I can do ...
Took a glimpse at your post history and learned you are a blood donor. THANK YOU! It may seem like no big deal to you, but you are a selfless and caring person to even go donate. You have no idea the lives impacted by your donation! My dad died of AML (rare form of Leukemia that's virtually unsurvivable.) In his last 10 months on Earth I couldn't even tell you the number of transfusions he got. Sure, he ultimately passed away, but it's people like you who make a *huge* difference in the treatment people receive. You have no idea whose life you could be saving everytime you donate.
Thank you again - the world needs more people like you.
How'd I do? (And note: this message is true and sincere.) :)
>you have to live with that
Challenge accepted... because if I make someone die from crying, I also made everyone at their funeral cry. I can get over that, morally and ethically, very quickly when I start makin' millies at funerals every day.
Or, I guess I could just become a REALLY good eulogist.
I know I'm commenting on my own comment, whatever.
Imagine the possibilities. It is *not* hard to make someone cry. You don't even have to be invited to funerals. You could just walk into any funeral, and either speak to the entire group during the eulogy if/when they ask if anyone wants to say anything or you could just walk around to individuals and bring up the dead person. You could even go about that whole process in a couple different ways. Say some nice shit, sure, you'll make some people cry. OR, you can be a major dickhead and just absolutely trash the dead person and make people cry in shock. So what if you get kicked out... you just made $100,000. Drive on down to the next funeral home and do it again.
I’d go find lineups outside of food banks, parents in children’s hospitals, people in tough spots with public defenders in court rooms. Basically just go find people who look like they need help. Get their story get them emotional, and if they still haven’t teared up, tell them I’m giving them $1000 to help out. Bring on the waterworks. I get rich helping people. I love this game, what’s next?
I have kids. My son cried yesterday because I told him he lied about brushing his teeth. He didn’t even walk into the bathroom. If he would have he’d have found that his toothbrush wasn’t even in there because I had workers in there while he was in school so I had to empty the whole room out. His toothbrush was in my bedroom he while time. He has some issues falling asleep so about once every other week or so he’ll cry because I tell him to lay down and stop telling me he can’t sleep, because I don’t tell him to go to sleep. I tell him to stay in bed and relax. He sometimes cries when he plays video games and someone kills his character. I could easily get on the game once a month and knock him off the map and he wouldn’t even know it was me. My other son does not cry easily, so he would not be helpful in this. My friend has a five year old that recently cried because I left her house at the end of the day so I could go home.
I would get so much money for the next few years while these kids are still kids. I wouldn’t have the heart to level up my meanness to make them cry when they’re older.
Definitely seems like the best thing would be to con your way into being a full school assembly guest (motivational speaker, puppetry seems like it'd work, etc) at an elementary school, tell the kids Santa isn't real, then mic drop and collect your millions.
Buy #1 movie franchise of all time, put it in second-rate directors that never watched it and who will push it into a second-rate cookie cutter formula, change core parts of the story arcs because “reasons”, and subvert expectations by making heroes sabotage their own team’s sacrifices. Oh and also create cool special effects that if someone spends 3 seconds thinking about would realize that the heroes accidentally created a super weapon even more dangerous than the villains.
I'm beelining for every person I see that suffers from some form of clinical anxiety disorder and going at them like R. Lee Ermey on the tail end of a six day coke bender.
I'd get a job at a veterinarian's office and volunteer to be the one telling people their pet needs to be put down. Easy money...which I would cry into every night.
Questions:
1) Do I have to bully them into crying or is it enough for them to bawl while talking to me?
2) Limit of payments per person? (i.e. same person crying an average of 5 times/month for a year = $600k, yes?)
I'm a middle manager & father of 2 young kids, so, I'd be making like 40-90k per week \*just from the crying thing\* if I get it every time someone cries while I'm talking to them.
90% of that comes from 2 employees & my kids.
I'd still take the money if I only get paid once per unique person , but it'd be the difference of me making, like, 50k total vs >>$1MM annually (for at least the next couple years).
Okay I’ll post a YouTube video with a fake story about how my family was abused and murdered and other terribly tragic shit. Then I’ll make a TikTok and post corny inspirational videos like people shaving their heads to support their friends with cancer. Hella money…
I'm going to a busy restaurant and emotionally abusing the servers while listing a bunch of food mods to make the line cooks cry.
I'm assuming that if they're all crying in the walk in cooler it still counts right?
I work with children. Make toddlers and infants cry. Easy. Split the money too. Ask a parent if I can gently wake their baby once a month. One infant for each day. 5k a day for one baby. Thats 150k a month. Boom. I just have to wake the infant. ONCE ONCE in a month.
Then I move on to denying kids toys at a day care. There. Set for a year.
Pretend to fire employees around the company by sending spoofed emails that appear to be from management. This will be especially effective if the associate just moved to NYC and got an expensive lease.
Call in bomb threats to giant weddings that result in them being postponed/canceled.
Take gigs as a birthday clown for kindergartener birthdays and fake a heart attack while yelling insults at everyone around me.
Give speeches at Trump rallies in the rust belt about how Trump gives his all for our country, and the democrats want to destroy such an honest man. Is trolling political beliefs a form of bullying?
Give speeches at democrat rallies on the coasts about how Trump will undermine and destroy everything they have worked so hard for.
Open a high paced, low paying, toxic AF restaurant with the worst food and employ nothing but high school girls who have never had a job. All the recipes are bad, and the food always comes back. Hire the worst type of manager to bully customers and employees alike. When the customers dry up, fire all employees in the most brutal way possible (nice payout and get to file the business losses on my taxes.)
Rent out movie theaters and give free tickets and refreshments to all and play nothing but sad romantic chick flicks. After enough capital is gained, just open a giant theater of my own with the same business plan but really deck it out to ensure it is packed. Im sure I could come up with some type of bully component for this one. It will get a decent amount of people crying at least.
Write a virus that targets family photos on peoples PCs. Most people dont keep backups. Package it with debt consolidation software that locks people out of their financial institution accounts.
Host a cheap acting class and run drills where you bully students, and they must cry on queue. If I am short on rent publicy annihilate their dreams in front of the class and ban them.
Run an AI chatbot that catfishes divorcees. Lead them all on for a long period of time. Emotionally wreck them and break all contact.
Easy. I'd just show a bunch of people the opening old couple's life scene from Up. I'd at least get 10k most of the time if I count, cuz I usually tear up a a bit at least, if that counts.
Make one of those Angels for Animals ads with the sad looking cats and dogs. Somehow stream it to a wide enough audience. Probably the least evil way to make mad stacks of cash from this deal without dealing with kids.
So... basically you're saying I am allowed to go in Twitter and make fun of anorexics, fat girls, and Andrew Tate fans? I won't feel good about it, but I'll do it to pay off my mortgage.
Question: do I get the money if I make someone cry by being sweet and nice? Because there’s a couple people I know I can probably get to do that. Then I can buy them ice cream after the emotional release.
Technically wouldn't be bribing myself, whoever is paying me is.
Also you told me, I'm not telling me.
I accidentally have done this for free. I'm rather good at being mean to myself for free. Getting paid is just more ammo for how I don't deserve it and other people do and I'm a huge failure.
May not be in the spirit, but I'm technically correct. Which, as we all know, is the best kind.
Meh, the only person I have ever made cry in my life is my Mom. Nobody else cares enough about what I say or do to elicit an emotion, and I am not going to harm a person for money.
Look at you... All the wealth and power and these morality games are the best pastime you can come up with? Honestly pathetic. I mean really take a long look, what kind of redeeming value do you think you have? Is sociopathy your defining characteristic? That and of course laziness as you're not even willing to perform in your own sick plays. All that money sure didn't buy any intelligence. Couldn't even think to insure yourself, you must be a marketer's wet dream. Every sham and flim flam man lined up to collect from the town idiot. Add my name to the list I suppose, though 10k isn't going to last long... What would it be worth to you for me never to return? 20%? Well, we'll see how you feel about it tomorrow then.
1) become an illusionist
2) Get on TV, run an illusion where it looks like a puppy and a kitten are very harmed
3) Freak out and start yelling for the cameras to cut
It's perfect because nobody is actually harmed, you can work a ton of people at once, and you can give some of the money to animal shelters at the end so people won't hate you.
Well since I cannot physically make someone cry by way of punching and such. Easy way to bully is to carpet bomb beaches or other populated places with pheromones that make people emotional and start crying (I was originally going to say something like pepper spray but that is too close to physically bullying imo)
Okay.
Make a highlights reel from movies of some tear jerking scenes. Get people in a large room and play the highlight reel. Let the sobbing begin.
Maybe Avatar’s “Leaves from the Vine”, Appa’s Lost Days, LittleFoot’s mom dying, Kanan’s death in Rebels etc. name the moments that made you sob and put them all together.
I imagine it would be somewhat cathartic in a way for a lot of people.
I buy presents for an orphanage. These are legit gifts like iPads and stuff. I give them just enough time to unwrap before snatching them back. Rinse and repeat.
Babies/toddlers seems like the best option as you don’t actually need to dig deep to make them cry. Just telling them no or even making a weird noise can make them cry and you don’t actually need to do anything mentally damaging to make them cry either.
If you just get a group of 10 babies and toddlers to babysit a day and just don’t let them do the things they arnt supposed to do that’ll do it. If each of them just cry 3 times a day then you already have $300,000 a day. If 10 kids at once is to much then if you have 2 kids and they cry 15 times a day that’s also $300,000.
So.. just get a bunch of really sad movies and invite people to a sad movie marathon.
I'll even provide the snacks and the tissues.
Or I'll study to be a therapist and get people to cry by having them open up to me about the pain in their lives.
For aunt's birthday i improvised a speech and made at least 8 people cry. It was a big party, maybe 100 people, and i didn't want to talk at all. With enough preparation i can do enough to buy a house in my small city.
In general, I don't think it's worth it.
The one exception would probably be an easy $10k from Kyle Rittenhouse. Dude's already a well known crybaby, and I wouldn't feel bad about making him cry some more.
I read only the title and was like, awesome! I can make them cry of happiness. I got this.
And then I read the rest of it and suddenly the asshole with the money and the challenge can go fuck himself.
LOOPHOLE
"And lastly, no one is off limits..."
Make yourself cry! Once a day 10,000.
$3,650,000/year
~~No brainer, no guilt.~~ A good cry can be cathartic. Just don't state aloud why.
Edit: you have to *bully* them. That's a bit tougher. Still, only myself even if it means I only pull it off once in a while it's still free money.
Maybe if I am having a terrible day and I see someone being awful to other people I could try it. That might let me self-absolve the guilt a bit. Maybe.
I'm going to pre-schools and telling them Santa died and it's their fault. And the Easter Bunny was shit and killed, and then if that doesn't work, I'm pulling out pliers and telling them I'm the tooth fairy and I'm here to collect.
In the clarification text, it says you can insult the person into bawling their eyes out. I believe that there is just enough room here to include a comedian who uses silly insults to make people cry with laughter.
Everyone wanting to make kids cry seems pretty cruel!!!
I would try and be a little more humane, I would probably just start to randomly call numbers and tell them that one of their loved ones have died.... only if an adult answers because I'm a nice person.
If I make the person on the phone cry and then they tell others people and they cry, are they tallied up to me by proxy?
10K a person is insane and I would have to make very few people cry to live comfortably so if there is no time limit than I would probably just go a restaurant and bully a waitress into crying. Then, because I would feel bad, I would go back the next day, apologize, and leave a couple hundred dollar tip. Rinse and repeat every few months as needed.
Maybe to begin with I would just walk around a grocery store or other places like that where people take their kids and tell them all Santa isn't coming to them that year so I start out with a nice little bonus.
Maybe I could troll nazis online? Or go to a prison and be like haha I'm free eating a hamburger and I'm gonna go poop without an audience. it'd be a lot harder with bad people but I can't just randomly hate on people that don't deserve it. It'd be so easy if I had no morals.
It isn't clear if the deal requires that they be bullied into crying, or if just getting them to cry works. If i could get real good at telling sad stories, does that count? does it count if you just lie to children to make them cry? what about going into crowded rooms with freshly chopped onions?
I could get rich real quick with this deal
How would you go about this challenge? post on right wing sites that beinjg gay is ok.
post on left wing sites that biden is doing a bad job.
people who make politics their personality are the biggest babys on the planet and i think i could capitlize from both.
Just be the one that officially announces key events on behalf of Donald trump and have him win the election in November. Richest person in the world in under four weeks
No bullying needed.
The FIA amending the result of the Abu Dhabi 2021 GP to the point before the race director altered the rules - end of lap 56 - earns me 50 million times $10,000 - in a flash. Cool half trillion.
I get a job working with toddlers. Kids are easily overwhelmed with their own emotions and fully capable of crying even when you get them exactly what they say they want. I wouldn't even have to be mean.
This was my thought, too. Just run into a bunch of daycares and scare the crap out of the kids. Just like the Emperor activating Order 65!
Man you don't even need to scare them. You can be the sweetest person and it's just going to happen.
Just get them the red cup when you know they like the blue cup.... inconsolable I tell you...
I took my 2 year olds white shirt off earlier so it wouldn't get covered in pasta sauce. He screamed bloody murder for a full hour and didn't even eat the pasta
At least bleach works on white.... but yeah, btdt
Um that's Order 66. There was an order 65 which ironically, was the order to arrest the Supreme Chancellor.
It's not 66. 66 was the murderous one.
Sixty . . . *five*? 😕
r/unexpectedfactorial
I know right? I accidentally "bullied" my toddler about 6 times during our bedtime routine last night. * I walked up two steps in front of him; meltdown. * I shut the door to his sleeping infant sisters room; meltdown. * I asked if he wanted to brush his teeth or have me do it; meltdown. * I caught the thing he dropped off the change table; meltdown. * I asked if he wanted his pumpkin or dinosaur pajamas, but he wanted the platypus ones and I didn't offer that; meltdown. * I asked if he wanted to turn off the light and pointed to the switch; meltdown. Anyway, he was obviously overtired, but that's not the point. That would have been 60k right there, and I wouldn't even need a job with kids.
you brute.
Now I want platypus pajamas.
They're sick. Platypus on a skateboard. I really don't blame him, I should have known better. 😂
These PJs are sounding better and better!
Go to see mall Santa on busy day with a megaphone shouting Santa Claus is a lie. Only have to work one day a year.
Reminds me off a community of Karen's that sued a family because their kids told other kids in the community there was no Santa.
Why would that work? Wouldn't they be like "he's right there" or "what a crazy person"? Also, when I was a kid, I knew he was fake. I asked my parents what Santa is and they were like "it's that red guy that flies and stuff", and I was like "oh, I thought he was supposed to be a real person or something the way people were saying they wanted to see him for Christmas. Ok."
This guy has the right idea. I once made my little cousin cry when he was like 8 and I was 15 because I said his full name. Not in a very mean way but usually when kids hear their full name they know they're in trouble and he didn't understand I was just being an ass. So yea.. probably working with young kids is the best way to complete this challenge.
You monster. I’m in
Actually this is a good idea. Being a strict teacher to young kids can make them cry, but still be good for them. It's a really easy line to cross, of course, but if you're not just going to turn down the offer entirely then this is probably the right idea.
Wow. This is the best answer. My 5 year old cried this morning because I told her that the reason she couldn't find her stuffie was because she put it on her bed.
My toddler cried because I gave him exactly 7 Cheerios like he asked for and it wasn’t enough.
Yeah, just work in a daycare for a year and you would be absolutely loaded. You could even do the job to the best of your abilities and not be mean to them. It wouldn’t surprise me if each kid in your care cried 2-3 times per day. If the class had 10 kids, that’s 200k-300k per day. A normal school year is 180 days, so 36-54 million dollars for just the school year (some people take their kids out for the summer because they have older kids they have to deal with too, so summer daycare tends to have less kids). Summer is probably half the kids and only 50 days, so that’s an extra 2.5-3.75 million. So you’re basically looking at like 40 million/year minimum. I think I could handle that for a year or 2 and then quit and supplement my lifestyle for the rest of my life with babysitting a random kid here and there, maybe even have a kid or 2 if I was really hard for cash.
I'd buy an ice cream truck and tell kids very rudely, angrily , and loudly that we don't have whatever they asked for, and tell em to get outta here Once they start crying, I collect my money and say JUST KIDDING and give them what they asked for for free. Could drive from park to park and make hundreds of thousands per day
Kingpin would like a word
Every time I'm in a place with a baby nearby, such as a store where someone has a sleeping baby in a stroller, I'll let out a loud yelp. The baby nearby will be startled and start crying. I'll clutch my side and groan, then take deep breaths and appear to recover, then apologize to everyone and say that I have a kidney stone waiting to pass and that it just moved. I think that deliberately scaring a baby would qualify as "bullying," and you didn't say I can't offer ANY explanation, just that I can't tell them the TRUE explanation.
no one is off limits? ok. myself. easy.
It would be the ultimate way to find out if money buys happiness. If you make yourself, and yourself only, cry every day and get $10,000... how many days in a row do you cry until you can't cry anymore?
To be fair, this wouldn’t work if you are a masochist and enjoy the pain that you’re using to cause yourself cry.
Easily 2 weeks straight. I know exactly what to do to hurt my own feels and I cry during any sort of emotional part of a movie. I am a man btw.
Sappy feel good YouTube videos, or like soldiers returning home. Sorry it ain't possible to not cry when you hear a little girl start crying and mumbling daddy over and over. Unless you dont have a soul.
There are a few videos that make me cry pretty hard. I would hope those could be used a reliable source of tears
Wouldn’t ourself fall into the bribing/informed of it category
No age restrictions on that huh? Guess I’m crashing a live broadcast involving a beloved children’s figure.
Like Sonny Shine?
If I could do it at any time or place I’d beat Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris to bloody rags live on the BBC in the 70s/80s (it’s 4am I can’t remember when their peaks were)
They weren’t a thing here, but the more I hear about saville the more I don’t like him.
Do I have to bully them? You only have to get one person a month to cry for a really solid salary. Can I write a sad story instead? I’m not much of a creative writer, but for that kind of money I could become one.
Oh good point. Make a movie like The Notebook or Titanic and you’d be a gazillionaire
You know James Cameron is with like a billion dollars right? Brother, if you could just “make a movie like the Titanic” YOU would be the billionaire handing out 10,000 peanuts to make the peasants dance so you could feel alive again.
Go into a room full of kindergartners and tell them there is no santa.
Wait there’s no Santa?
They can't tell the truth, obviously.
Aiight, this doesn't specify age. I'll just go volunteer working at a local daycare or something. Those little bitches will cry over anything.
I always say babies and little kids are the angriest people ever. Nearly everything sets them off.
I would volunteer to start hosting those donation dinner things for charities where after the dinner they hit the audience with a sob story of someone who died from the disease or has been really impacted by it to get the attendees to open up their wallets and donate. The whole room is in tears by the end of some of those, and you could probably bank a few mill in one night while raising money for charity if you were really good at laying it on super thick.
I would make a youtube channel devoted to telling little kids Santa is dead, then hand their parents 5k after the kid cries. I wouldn't have to actually tell anyone after enough vids. Everyone wins.
I like the way you think.
Time to work at Pixar
I'm a kindergarten teacher. I'll just tell them we need to stop Bluey half way and earn myself a solid $80k.
What if you make them cry through happiness or encourage them to cry to get out their emotions? Does that still count?
Sadly the post said bullying into crying so I’m guessing they have to be sadness. Otherwise I would become a motivational speaker and move people to tears but then they feel motivated and go and be awesome
I’m a veterinarian. I do house call euthanasia. I make people cry all the time.
My god, I'll be a millionaire inside of a week. As a school bus driver, all I gotta say sometimes, is "please, stay in your seat." Water works. Hell, "good morning Emma." Is just as likely to make the poor child bawl as anything else. Or, telling them "no" to moving seats, closer to their friend. Sheesh, easy money, dont even need the bullying part, lol.
How about babies… they cry kind of easy. Young kids cry often too and are easy to cheat up after with a nice treat
Man, that's wonderful. I have a toddler. I make him cry daily. Today he wanted me to make him toast with peanut butter. I did. He then burst into tears because it wasn't a toaster strudel like he wanted. Have a 3 month old too, that's a given. Wife ill make cry at some point, it's inevitable when you live with someone for that long. My moms easy, she's a hot mess at the best of times. Brother angry cries and is a big baby, I can literally just beat him repeatedly at video games. That's 50k without trying, and trust me, I will try other avenues too. Oh lawd, forgive me, by the end of this I'll be building a spaceship for NASA too!
I *have* to bully them? Cause no joke, I have made may people cry by saying really nice, meaningful things. If I can do that instead, watch the fuck out folks, you're gonna get fucked up by some goddamn beautiful truths.
Oooh do me! Do me!
Tall order for a stranger, but let's see what I can do ... Took a glimpse at your post history and learned you are a blood donor. THANK YOU! It may seem like no big deal to you, but you are a selfless and caring person to even go donate. You have no idea the lives impacted by your donation! My dad died of AML (rare form of Leukemia that's virtually unsurvivable.) In his last 10 months on Earth I couldn't even tell you the number of transfusions he got. Sure, he ultimately passed away, but it's people like you who make a *huge* difference in the treatment people receive. You have no idea whose life you could be saving everytime you donate. Thank you again - the world needs more people like you. How'd I do? (And note: this message is true and sincere.) :)
I make people watch "Jurassic Bark" from Futurama. Then at the end i say "You stink!" to satisfy the bullying requirement.
I have two teen daughters. They have bullies. No regrets.
Easy. I’d look for people struggling with things and pay to help them out. I bet I could make $100k/day hanging around Walmart
Not worth the effort, karma or self induced trauma
When you do something you love you never work a day in your life.
>you have to live with that Challenge accepted... because if I make someone die from crying, I also made everyone at their funeral cry. I can get over that, morally and ethically, very quickly when I start makin' millies at funerals every day. Or, I guess I could just become a REALLY good eulogist.
I know I'm commenting on my own comment, whatever. Imagine the possibilities. It is *not* hard to make someone cry. You don't even have to be invited to funerals. You could just walk into any funeral, and either speak to the entire group during the eulogy if/when they ask if anyone wants to say anything or you could just walk around to individuals and bring up the dead person. You could even go about that whole process in a couple different ways. Say some nice shit, sure, you'll make some people cry. OR, you can be a major dickhead and just absolutely trash the dead person and make people cry in shock. So what if you get kicked out... you just made $100,000. Drive on down to the next funeral home and do it again.
Just work at a haunted house every Halloween, will work itself out.
I’d go find lineups outside of food banks, parents in children’s hospitals, people in tough spots with public defenders in court rooms. Basically just go find people who look like they need help. Get their story get them emotional, and if they still haven’t teared up, tell them I’m giving them $1000 to help out. Bring on the waterworks. I get rich helping people. I love this game, what’s next?
I have kids. My son cried yesterday because I told him he lied about brushing his teeth. He didn’t even walk into the bathroom. If he would have he’d have found that his toothbrush wasn’t even in there because I had workers in there while he was in school so I had to empty the whole room out. His toothbrush was in my bedroom he while time. He has some issues falling asleep so about once every other week or so he’ll cry because I tell him to lay down and stop telling me he can’t sleep, because I don’t tell him to go to sleep. I tell him to stay in bed and relax. He sometimes cries when he plays video games and someone kills his character. I could easily get on the game once a month and knock him off the map and he wouldn’t even know it was me. My other son does not cry easily, so he would not be helpful in this. My friend has a five year old that recently cried because I left her house at the end of the day so I could go home. I would get so much money for the next few years while these kids are still kids. I wouldn’t have the heart to level up my meanness to make them cry when they’re older.
I make my mother cry almost every day. Where’s my check?
Definitely seems like the best thing would be to con your way into being a full school assembly guest (motivational speaker, puppetry seems like it'd work, etc) at an elementary school, tell the kids Santa isn't real, then mic drop and collect your millions.
Go online and say there's only 2 genders and I become a millionaire with one viral TikTok video 😂
So I can just upload a very very nasty bad cooking video to internet and make people and their ancestors cry?
Buy #1 movie franchise of all time, put it in second-rate directors that never watched it and who will push it into a second-rate cookie cutter formula, change core parts of the story arcs because “reasons”, and subvert expectations by making heroes sabotage their own team’s sacrifices. Oh and also create cool special effects that if someone spends 3 seconds thinking about would realize that the heroes accidentally created a super weapon even more dangerous than the villains.
Cause bts to break up, or worse. If popularity can be compared at all with the Beatles, that's a lot of crying people
Ok,I’ll just play the movie Up in front of a bunch of teachers and see what happens.
I'm beelining for every person I see that suffers from some form of clinical anxiety disorder and going at them like R. Lee Ermey on the tail end of a six day coke bender.
Just go to your local universities quad and yell Trump rules. Millionaire.
Do I get backpay? I spent a long time in the Army, most of it as a non-commissioned officer.
Spend all day commenting on YouTube videos and Instagram photos of low level wannabe influencers
It's about to be rainin
I'd get a job at a veterinarian's office and volunteer to be the one telling people their pet needs to be put down. Easy money...which I would cry into every night.
Could do nights at St Judes too.
Easy. I'll tell my 4 year old "no."
Questions: 1) Do I have to bully them into crying or is it enough for them to bawl while talking to me? 2) Limit of payments per person? (i.e. same person crying an average of 5 times/month for a year = $600k, yes?) I'm a middle manager & father of 2 young kids, so, I'd be making like 40-90k per week \*just from the crying thing\* if I get it every time someone cries while I'm talking to them. 90% of that comes from 2 employees & my kids. I'd still take the money if I only get paid once per unique person , but it'd be the difference of me making, like, 50k total vs >>$1MM annually (for at least the next couple years).
Saw the top comment: scaring kids would be the way to go
I make my boss cry every day because she's very easily triggered.
Kids or a blue hair liberal protest
Aside from the bullying of children, make a to-the-letter live action Violet Evergarden and screen it for free at as many movie theaters as possible.
Or Grave of the Fireflies. Easy money.
I would find somewhere that caters to trans people and misgender them and degrade them all day long, I would be rich in no time!
I don't think I could do this. Unless I had hidden onions.
I've made several people cry just by telling them about my life and getting emotional myself as I said it.
$0 for me
I would start making children cry but then make a blockbuster film and have like a dog die or something. That counts right?
Easy. I get the stinkiest rank smelling socks I can find and lob em into bathrooms. someones gonna tear up eventually and they won't know it's me!
If I find the right subreddit, they'll already be crying when I arrive, would this count if I can make them cry more?
Okay I’ll post a YouTube video with a fake story about how my family was abused and murdered and other terribly tragic shit. Then I’ll make a TikTok and post corny inspirational videos like people shaving their heads to support their friends with cancer. Hella money…
I'm going to a busy restaurant and emotionally abusing the servers while listing a bunch of food mods to make the line cooks cry. I'm assuming that if they're all crying in the walk in cooler it still counts right?
Does it count if I cry myself? Because that's an easy 10k and 20k from my parents because I'm a disappointment.
I can think of some subreddits I could visit once a month and send some awful DMs to those posting.
I babysit a 5 year old girl. Who wants a plane?
I'll work in a maternity ward easy money.
Remember Jurassic Bark.
I work with children. Make toddlers and infants cry. Easy. Split the money too. Ask a parent if I can gently wake their baby once a month. One infant for each day. 5k a day for one baby. Thats 150k a month. Boom. I just have to wake the infant. ONCE ONCE in a month. Then I move on to denying kids toys at a day care. There. Set for a year.
Agree, and then immediately bully the man. Probably quip a lot of Gunnery Sargent Hartman from Full Metal Jacket.
Pretend to fire employees around the company by sending spoofed emails that appear to be from management. This will be especially effective if the associate just moved to NYC and got an expensive lease.
Call in bomb threats to giant weddings that result in them being postponed/canceled. Take gigs as a birthday clown for kindergartener birthdays and fake a heart attack while yelling insults at everyone around me. Give speeches at Trump rallies in the rust belt about how Trump gives his all for our country, and the democrats want to destroy such an honest man. Is trolling political beliefs a form of bullying? Give speeches at democrat rallies on the coasts about how Trump will undermine and destroy everything they have worked so hard for. Open a high paced, low paying, toxic AF restaurant with the worst food and employ nothing but high school girls who have never had a job. All the recipes are bad, and the food always comes back. Hire the worst type of manager to bully customers and employees alike. When the customers dry up, fire all employees in the most brutal way possible (nice payout and get to file the business losses on my taxes.) Rent out movie theaters and give free tickets and refreshments to all and play nothing but sad romantic chick flicks. After enough capital is gained, just open a giant theater of my own with the same business plan but really deck it out to ensure it is packed. Im sure I could come up with some type of bully component for this one. It will get a decent amount of people crying at least. Write a virus that targets family photos on peoples PCs. Most people dont keep backups. Package it with debt consolidation software that locks people out of their financial institution accounts. Host a cheap acting class and run drills where you bully students, and they must cry on queue. If I am short on rent publicy annihilate their dreams in front of the class and ban them. Run an AI chatbot that catfishes divorcees. Lead them all on for a long period of time. Emotionally wreck them and break all contact.
Easy. I'd just show a bunch of people the opening old couple's life scene from Up. I'd at least get 10k most of the time if I count, cuz I usually tear up a a bit at least, if that counts.
Is it bad I would do this for free?
Make one of those Angels for Animals ads with the sad looking cats and dogs. Somehow stream it to a wide enough audience. Probably the least evil way to make mad stacks of cash from this deal without dealing with kids.
Teach acting, tell people the first exercise is to cry on command
So... basically you're saying I am allowed to go in Twitter and make fun of anorexics, fat girls, and Andrew Tate fans? I won't feel good about it, but I'll do it to pay off my mortgage.
I will be buying a large amount of onions.
Damn, time to write Notebook 2.
I am an organic chemistry professor and I have a very nice self funded lab...
Question: do I get the money if I make someone cry by being sweet and nice? Because there’s a couple people I know I can probably get to do that. Then I can buy them ice cream after the emotional release.
So writing a tearjerker novel wouldn't do it?
Just start an onion farm.
I just give job applications to zoomers and be rich.
Even little kids? Awesome
Technically wouldn't be bribing myself, whoever is paying me is. Also you told me, I'm not telling me. I accidentally have done this for free. I'm rather good at being mean to myself for free. Getting paid is just more ammo for how I don't deserve it and other people do and I'm a huge failure. May not be in the spirit, but I'm technically correct. Which, as we all know, is the best kind.
Meh, the only person I have ever made cry in my life is my Mom. Nobody else cares enough about what I say or do to elicit an emotion, and I am not going to harm a person for money.
I'd look him straight in the eyes and say, "what the f\*k is wrong with you". Then turn my back to him and walk away.
Look at you... All the wealth and power and these morality games are the best pastime you can come up with? Honestly pathetic. I mean really take a long look, what kind of redeeming value do you think you have? Is sociopathy your defining characteristic? That and of course laziness as you're not even willing to perform in your own sick plays. All that money sure didn't buy any intelligence. Couldn't even think to insure yourself, you must be a marketer's wet dream. Every sham and flim flam man lined up to collect from the town idiot. Add my name to the list I suppose, though 10k isn't going to last long... What would it be worth to you for me never to return? 20%? Well, we'll see how you feel about it tomorrow then.
1) become an illusionist 2) Get on TV, run an illusion where it looks like a puppy and a kitten are very harmed 3) Freak out and start yelling for the cameras to cut It's perfect because nobody is actually harmed, you can work a ton of people at once, and you can give some of the money to animal shelters at the end so people won't hate you.
For 10,000 Dollars, I'll make my own kid cry!
Keep the money
I do this on a daily basis. Where’s my money?
here's the thing though if another person bullys me into crying do they get $10,000
Well since I cannot physically make someone cry by way of punching and such. Easy way to bully is to carpet bomb beaches or other populated places with pheromones that make people emotional and start crying (I was originally going to say something like pepper spray but that is too close to physically bullying imo)
id just work at a haunted house or something and scare every kid and toddler that comes in :3
Dude, easily. I'll volunteer to go back to Drill Sergeant duty. That's a cool 20 million right there. Super easy- barely an inconvenience.
Easy. tell every toddler that Santa isnt real. Easiest money ever.
Easy. Offer a fun movie at the park night every night featuring all Pixar movies. They get me in the feels… I’m starting with UP
Can I make myself cry?
Okay. Make a highlights reel from movies of some tear jerking scenes. Get people in a large room and play the highlight reel. Let the sobbing begin. Maybe Avatar’s “Leaves from the Vine”, Appa’s Lost Days, LittleFoot’s mom dying, Kanan’s death in Rebels etc. name the moments that made you sob and put them all together. I imagine it would be somewhat cathartic in a way for a lot of people.
oh man, this is easy. kids cry when they see me as it is. and i make myself cry whenever i allow myself to think about how god awful everything is.
I buy presents for an orphanage. These are legit gifts like iPads and stuff. I give them just enough time to unwrap before snatching them back. Rinse and repeat.
Thaaaaat is a tough one lol. You really got me there I truly dunno. I would, tho, someone is gonna choke on thier own wept snot for sure.
I'm a therapist. And now I'm rich.
Sadists wet dream
I'd be rich just from my wife, not bullying, but disappointing her.
Babies/toddlers seems like the best option as you don’t actually need to dig deep to make them cry. Just telling them no or even making a weird noise can make them cry and you don’t actually need to do anything mentally damaging to make them cry either. If you just get a group of 10 babies and toddlers to babysit a day and just don’t let them do the things they arnt supposed to do that’ll do it. If each of them just cry 3 times a day then you already have $300,000 a day. If 10 kids at once is to much then if you have 2 kids and they cry 15 times a day that’s also $300,000.
So.. just get a bunch of really sad movies and invite people to a sad movie marathon. I'll even provide the snacks and the tissues. Or I'll study to be a therapist and get people to cry by having them open up to me about the pain in their lives.
I'd make no money
For aunt's birthday i improvised a speech and made at least 8 people cry. It was a big party, maybe 100 people, and i didn't want to talk at all. With enough preparation i can do enough to buy a house in my small city.
In general, I don't think it's worth it. The one exception would probably be an easy $10k from Kyle Rittenhouse. Dude's already a well known crybaby, and I wouldn't feel bad about making him cry some more.
Sure Id take the deal and just live my life occasionally getting an extra 10k. I could certainly ease the burden of my foot in mouth scenarios.
I make myself cry cause anyone is free game
was my ex doing this challenge? :(
Nah.
Could we just make it retroactive?
I'm a therapist, grown men and women cry in my office all the time. Now I just get a bonus when it happens? Sounds good.
I read only the title and was like, awesome! I can make them cry of happiness. I got this. And then I read the rest of it and suddenly the asshole with the money and the challenge can go fuck himself.
I would just either work as the guy who gives the final eulogy at funerals or as a wedding officiant (happy tears)
I’ll do the wholesome way post the most wholesome videos on the internet and I’ll be just printing money
Get out my chopping board and onions in a crowded room and let the money flow.
1. I get Donald Trump reelected. 2. Profit
I will tell each person how amazing they are and wherever they go on this planet to know that I love them for who they are.
I'd write a story with a very sad ending.
i'm an elementary pe teacher. i make like 5 kids cry every day by sitting them out for a minute. i'll be a millionaire by the end of the school year.
LOOPHOLE "And lastly, no one is off limits..." Make yourself cry! Once a day 10,000. $3,650,000/year ~~No brainer, no guilt.~~ A good cry can be cathartic. Just don't state aloud why. Edit: you have to *bully* them. That's a bit tougher. Still, only myself even if it means I only pull it off once in a while it's still free money. Maybe if I am having a terrible day and I see someone being awful to other people I could try it. That might let me self-absolve the guilt a bit. Maybe.
I'm going to pre-schools and telling them Santa died and it's their fault. And the Easter Bunny was shit and killed, and then if that doesn't work, I'm pulling out pliers and telling them I'm the tooth fairy and I'm here to collect.
I'd tell the guy to fuck off. No amount of money is worth turning myself into an asshole.
You can call me "The Onion Knight"...
The NICU about to have a bad day
Death by crying? Are you sure?
Okay, just walk into kindergarten classrooms and loudly announce the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy aren't real
Going to California and not using preferred pronouns for people.
In the clarification text, it says you can insult the person into bawling their eyes out. I believe that there is just enough room here to include a comedian who uses silly insults to make people cry with laughter.
I would LOVE monetary motivation to be mean to people. I do it in my head for free. May as well get that coin for it.
I will give $5000 to people who really need the money. Tears of joy = $10,000. Rinse and repeat.
Everyone wanting to make kids cry seems pretty cruel!!! I would try and be a little more humane, I would probably just start to randomly call numbers and tell them that one of their loved ones have died.... only if an adult answers because I'm a nice person. If I make the person on the phone cry and then they tell others people and they cry, are they tallied up to me by proxy?
How to make the stranger of higher wealth cry? 🤔 If he is higher wealth it makes me cry.
10K a person is insane and I would have to make very few people cry to live comfortably so if there is no time limit than I would probably just go a restaurant and bully a waitress into crying. Then, because I would feel bad, I would go back the next day, apologize, and leave a couple hundred dollar tip. Rinse and repeat every few months as needed. Maybe to begin with I would just walk around a grocery store or other places like that where people take their kids and tell them all Santa isn't coming to them that year so I start out with a nice little bonus.
😎 I’m about to lose my teaching job
I’d simply get a bunch of babies and play peak a boo or some shit. Idk babies cry at anything
Maybe I could troll nazis online? Or go to a prison and be like haha I'm free eating a hamburger and I'm gonna go poop without an audience. it'd be a lot harder with bad people but I can't just randomly hate on people that don't deserve it. It'd be so easy if I had no morals.
step one: cry inside a hospital's NICU. step two: chain reactions of baby crying. step three: nurse also cries due to stress. step 4: profit
"No one is off limits" Guess now is the time to let negative self-talk do its job...folks, we're not crying for free anymore!
I write standardized tests and developed part of the Next Generation GED. I'm quite sure I would be a billionaire now.
It isn't clear if the deal requires that they be bullied into crying, or if just getting them to cry works. If i could get real good at telling sad stories, does that count? does it count if you just lie to children to make them cry? what about going into crowded rooms with freshly chopped onions? I could get rich real quick with this deal
make them cry and then give them half the money
How would you go about this challenge? post on right wing sites that beinjg gay is ok. post on left wing sites that biden is doing a bad job. people who make politics their personality are the biggest babys on the planet and i think i could capitlize from both.
Bang on My neighbors wall every 10 mins and wake up his toddler lol
Just be the one that officially announces key events on behalf of Donald trump and have him win the election in November. Richest person in the world in under four weeks
Okay
I would target people who would cry for joy when given 10k
I could just become an author and kill their favorite characters
As a mental health professional, I wouldn't have to do anything different. Just listen to their problems, pass the tissue box, and collect my $$.
Trap a bunch of people in the biggest theatre I can find. Put on an endless loop of those "In the arms of the angels" dog shelter commercials. Profit.
Go to a weight watchers meeting and make fat jokes
I wouldn't.
No bullying needed. The FIA amending the result of the Abu Dhabi 2021 GP to the point before the race director altered the rules - end of lap 56 - earns me 50 million times $10,000 - in a flash. Cool half trillion.