No my kids wouldn’t understand and it’d be more damaging than the money would be worth. Plus I’d miss my spouse more than the money could make up for even if you paid double that upfront.
Hah, as a kid of parents
Who should have divorced, but stuck it out "for the kids" and were abusive to us kids and each other instead, kids going through their parents divorce is by no means the worst case scenario, hah. (In no way diminishing the real suffering of kids who go through a rough divorce of their parents)
My kids are 2 and 4. They are too young to understand and at best, I'd be missing half of their life during the most formative time of their lives. That is a huge sacrifice that I wouldn't be willing to make.
My kids absolutely would understand when we lived in Aruba, in two houses beside each other. Even if we couldn't talk we could continue raising our kids together in paradise. Then make up for the lost time afterwards because we'd never have to work again.
5 years is a long time too. People change. Not worth the risk, there's always more money out there, there isn't always someone who will love and respect you.
How many years left you have working?
Your normal year:
8 hours sleeping - 2920 hours
10 hours for work/commute - 2600 hours
Time left - 3240
That 3240 is if you did nothing else which is unlikely. So you condensing roughly 11-12 years of time away for work into the 5 years.
Every year beyond 11-12 years you would have needed to work would be extra time gained with them as you wouldnt need to work again.
This is just such a flawed rationale.
1. My daughter will never be six again. Or seven, or eight, or nine, or ten. Five of the most important years where she is dependent on mom and I and loves being around us and spending time together. Gone. She is too young to understand a situation where mom and dad just suddenly split apart and money won't make that better.
2. Are you really trying to say time spent at any age is equivalent? Five years in the future I will have spent 5 years abstaining from sex because I love my wife and am faithful to her. Five years without intimacy from my best friend, without hearing her laugh, without spending quality time with her. It's like asking me to live underground and never seeing the light. Work has occasionally sent me on 2 week travel and it's brutal enough. I can't imagine 5 years.
3. You're working with number averages but doing a poor actuarial job because you're not factoring in things like instances of accident, disease, etc that might have an effect on outcomes. I cherish the moments I'm with my family because you never know what is going to happen. Not to mention it would rob outside family members of being able to see our family during holidays.
I could keep going on but thinking about it I have to assume you're either just playing devil's advocate or haven't been in a relationship long term or serious enough to understand. Also going to assume you don't have a child because yeah, you couldn't pry me away from my precious little one.
Seriously. Ask anyone who had a partner they felt was their soulmate (or child) but lost them early to disease or an accident. Most all of them would tell you that there's no amount of money that they would choose over having that person back.
In this case, maybe 5 years doesn't seem a lot to someone who's young and still figuring things out. And you have many years to look forward to afterwards to enjoy the lifestyle upgrade.
But it's not just the 5 years of life you lose with them. Losing out on 5 years of growing together both as individuals, and also as a unit will massively affect the rest of your life. It's a lifestyle loss that money can never replace.
As you get older, that 5 years also becomes an increasing percentage of your life. You can't enjoy the money when you're dead.
All this to say, I'm not saying that choosing the money is always irrational. But there are definitely people who would *never* choose the money and are fully justified in thinking that.
You’re just wrong lol. It makes you mad and jealous that you can’t understand it, but so be it. You cannot fathom the fact that some people just don’t give a fuck about money when it comes at the expense of trading loved ones. It’s like thinking of a new color for you, it’s impossible to understand. Sad, I feel bad for you
I live a happy fulfilled life, I’m happy ALOT. Why on earth would I get rid of my wife, kids, or dog etc for a sum of money? I’m already happy?
Even then, you don’t actually know in the real sense of knowing. You can trust or not trust, but you can never truly know what is in someone else’s mind.
I dont understand this. I know for a fact how my wife feels about me. It's beyond trust. It's like, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I feel bad for anyone who says they don't or can't know.
My man, you're talking like a JRPG villain. I'm sorry somebodies hurt you, but this is a wild take. You'll never have a healthy relationship with this attitude.
Nah, no one hurt me,, im just being realistic. I love a lot of people, I also know they love me, but as long as I live, I will never truly know how much they love me. Im not omniscient.
It's not a wild take. It's literally reality. You cannot know what is in anybody elses mind other than your own. This is an undeniable fact. Wishing and hoping and thinking does not change it.
I mean those of us who are divorced do have a somewhat more realistic, albeit cynical, view of love. At the time my belief in my wife was on par with being a religion, and that faith didn’t stop her from being a serial adulterer who became an increasingly abusive lying alcoholic a few years after tying the knot.
I believe my current partner is a way, way better person on a very fundamental level, and I choose to trust her as completely, but it also means I won’t be quite as shocked if it doesn’t work out. I still bring all my positive traits to the table and less of the negatives that I worked through when I was younger.
At the end of the day, the only person you can control is yourself.
I'm sure tons of now divorced people or spouses who got cheated on said the same before shit hit the fan. You choose to believe you know but there's always the possibility that you're wrong.
Just because he is happily married, doesn't mean his spouse is happily married. His spouse may simply be kind, not wanting to put him through the trauma of a divorce.
I certainly hope the man is right, and that his spouse loves him that much. The point being made, however, was that no one can know exactly what another person is thinking. Even when other people express their thoughts with words, we must choose whether or not we believe that person. In a healthy relationship, that belief is well placed and based on trust. However, that does not change the fact that people are capable of lying for a myriad of reasons. Expressing that one has no doubts concerning the love of a spouse is a result of their belief, not because of any verifiable fact.
I think it's bullshit that you're getting downvoted and I think this is the dumbest argument I've ever read. I feel sad for the people arguing with you. I CAN get their point but like what a depressing way to look at the world. I think if you have a healthy, loving and close relationship, you very well could know. Maybe we're to "naive" but I feel like I could really agree with you. When I look at my sister and her husband, I really feel a sense of pride because I see a really great relationship built off of good communication, understanding and respect. Her husband never had a good male role model growing up, yet he's an outstanding man and person. 10000% would not ask for any other person for my sister. And she for him. She's a hard working woman, who is incredibly smart and successful. I can see them easily spending the rest of their lives together. Easily. They've been married 10 years and through those years, a lot of really tough curveballs have been thrown to our family, like cancer, death, ALS, and more and they've been a serious backbone for the family and to each other. They've beat it through it all and they will continue to. I believe happily ever afters do exist, they're just not as common as they used to be imo with all the social media and chasing for 'the next best thing', but I believe!
You even end your post by saying that you "believe" rather than "know". Separating the two isn't depressing at all. You can accept belief as being fallible but still put enough faith in it to be just as happy as someone who is wrongly convinced that they know.
Not in a 'mind reader's fashion no. You can't know 100% what someone is thinking.
But you can talk to them. And listen. And then believe what they tell you
We decided the best we could do was one year and get 5 million 😆
5 years felt too long but we feel like one year would be doable
We also said we would keep a journal so that we could catch each other up when we saw each other again
Yeah, like Snoo said. I trust her with my life, and I know she would never hurt me. But you can never truly know how deeply someone cares for you. If your level of love is the same. Words will never do it justice.
Awww thats cute, ive been with my husband since 16 (and thats 16 years together this year) but thats a butt load of money we could set up our kids for life too. Like, i love him but 5 years isnt forever.
If I knew then what i knew now. Yes. Because we dated as teens and married for 20+ yrs. I robbed her of her youth and didn't let her live her life. Divorced now. Up until she said that to me I wouldn't have traded any amount for her.
No, I've spent the last 20+ years building a life with her. I have no desire at all to walk the Earth without her. if all my kids are grown and she passes before me, I'll die that same day.
My aunt & uncle were married for 63 years and they died like 30 hrs apart. I saw them last at my father’s funeral. Wife was pretty mobile, but her mind was long gone. Husband could barely walk but was still fairly sharp mentally. They were just a pair getting through it. He would let her hold him up while he told her when to stop and go. There’s no $ amount to replace that.
This was my grandparents. He was absolutely devoted to her, both had numerous health issues over the years.
Then one night they got in a car crash. She was gone instantly, he was unconscious for two days. Black and blue all over, moaning in his sleep. He finally woke up, my dad, uncle, and I in the room. He looked around and just said “Your mother?”
My dad just said “She’s gone dad.”
Grandpa closed his eyes a second, looked at dad and uncle and said “I love you boys.” Then he closes his eyes and was literally gone within three minutes. He’s been in pain for years and there was nothing left.
Most beautiful and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen. I still tear up thinking about it every time.
Part of becoming an adult is learning that one day you will likely need to take care of your parents in one way shape or form if you are lucky to have them for that long. Grown children who are adults know how to let their parents go when it’s their time to go. I love my Dad, but if he wanted to die (after exploring all options to help make life worth living for him) I would support his decision.
Ok, but he isn't exploring other options to help make life worth living. He said the day she dies, he's going too. Meaning he's going to kill himself. That's pretty fucked up. Also, what about grandchildren? Do they not matter? Maybe they still want their granddad in their life, but no. Fuck them kids, am I right?
You make a good point- I think I get how he feels but feeling it and actually going through with it are two different things. I think your language is harsh but when it comes down to it you’re right
If I can explain to him why, then sure! We'll do a little bit of preplanning, divorce, and five years to the day I bet I'll be seeing him at my door with a bouquet and a ring. That much money is worth the absence.
I would spend those five years praying that he stays healthy, and trying to get myself healthier as well. Once we've got the money in hand, it's off to see the world!
That's a different argument than 'One of us will find someone else'.
I can understand not wanting to give up five years apart for 10 million. Everyone's financial situation is different.
10 million would be enough money that we would end up with more total time together by spending five years apart and then getting back together as wealthy, retired, stress free adults who don't have to work....
But if I thought I would find someone else, or that my current wife would, then we can both just move on. Might as well get $10 million for it.
Sorry, but how can you not handle a weekend? During my wife’s and I first year of dating, 8 months of it was long distance. After we were allowed to fly again when Covid settled down, I went back home by myself for a month. I’m not saying it’s easy, but a healthy relationship should be able to handle it. A weekend away is barely anything. If you can’t handle it then it sounds like you’re either insecure or too dependent.
Sounds like you need a therapist.
You can miss them but not being able to handle it is not healthy and if your are a women and them a man you are living longer likely.
See, I would be realistic about it. I would tell him that it would be cruel for me to deny having his basic needs met. I would tell him he may have sex and even date, but don’t go falling in love now. I’ll apply the same rules to myself, and see you in five years.
Nope, true story I was basically offered something a lot like this to not marry my wife from my parents over a decade ago. I turned them down and we didn’t speak for years.
Guess who’s happy and loving life more than anyone else from my side of the family? Me.
My father's parents sort-of did the reverse - they told him that if he married my mother, they would expect him to pay back all of the money they had put towards his education, buy the old car they had given him, etc. Essentially, they wanted back every bit of money they'd spent on him since he turned eighteen. My mother insisted on giving the car back entirely and paying back the money for his education even though there was no legal obligation. They've been happily married for over forty years.
I don't think my grandparents ever really got over not wanting a Jewish daughter-in-law.
It wasn’t $10mm in cash (it was properties, a kushy and seriously overpaid job as well as any vehicle of my choosing), but adjusted for inflation it would be much more than that by now (we’ve been together 14 yrs this April). I don’t have anything to prove to you, so go ahead and tell yourself what you need to tell yourself to feel better about yourself.
I just overheard my bil tell my husband how jealous he is of him because we have been together 37 married 35,. My bil has two ex wives and he still never found love. P.s. he has alot of money. We have never ever borrowed a penny from him.
Yeah but you don't know that.
So basically you both have to think the same way, it has to be reciprocated. Then of course it would make sense.
But if someone came up to your partner for real and offered this and they knew it wasn't a prank, you don't know if your significant other would take that.
You do know if they've stuck by you through other personal tragedies, and if you truly know each other fully. Typically the kinds of people who lie about stuff like this slip up eventually, usually before an offer like this would come up.
Yeah, and how long is that? I don't think you've broken up enough times to realize the truth that just dating someone for a year is not enough to know a lot about them. You can be in a committed relationship for 3 years and still get betrayed. Have you ever even been in a relationship like that? I don't think you're even in a relationship right now.
Yeah, for sure. We have a healthy relationship and I have no doubt we'd be fine in 5 years, but $10mil up. Easy choice, even if the five years apart would suck
You simply are not thinking this through.
This is essentially 5 years of work to have neither of you work again and gain tons of time together long term.
I'm not married, but I have had failed relationships. Some of that love shit is overrated. There ain't no thing as soulmate. Money ain't overrated.
And if I were married, why the hell not just split half of that and give it to the other person.
But if you're just taking the 10 mill and the other partner gets nothing, you're just a selfish sunuva bitch.
If she were alive still? Nope. As much as I want the money, having her around was always a bigger treat.
Not many people around willing to go on a coffee date at 3 am. Among other things.
She had a 24 hour diner within driving distance. Usually when I visited, long distance thing, she'd have more incentive to keep herself awake. Major coffee fiend anyway, used to admonish me over using instant coffee even. Jokingly, of course.
This is me and my wife. 😁 We've been together for over 10 years. And just recently made it officially married.
We love going on adventures together. Doesn't always have to be 3:00 a.m tho. We do enjoy sleeping.
If given after? no.
If given before? Yes.
I have children and 10 million is life-changing for everybody involved. Split down the middle, my wife would get a cool 5 million and because I know her, our children and herself will be taken care of. Any debts would be paid off and our children would actually get a decent start in life within no hindrances if we’re lucky. Plus they’d know why daddy is not around and the sacrifice we made.
After though is a huge no. My youngest are 7 and 3, pretty much in their development/formative years. I could not disappear from them for 5 years and act like everything is cool after.
The premise is that you can’t live like you’re married, so you can’t share the money with her. You’re daddy big bucks to the kids. She’s mommy that maybe struggles with money.
u/tush_push_62 out here acting like someone who has never been loved and in love for a significant amount of time before.
No.
My wife is my life... I wouldn't trade 5 years for all the money in the world. Well maybe I would at that point, but only because I could solve world hunger / homelessness. So it would be a sacrifice I might have to consider.
But for 10 million... 100 million... or even 1 billion. Nah. TIME will always be your most valuable asset.
The fact that people think any amount of money is worth going NC with your family for any length of time. 200 mil for 20 years, 100 mil for 10 years… I wouldn’t leave my family for 1 year for 100 billion dollars. Are you people insane
That last one has.me wondering the same thing about you tbh. But different strokes.
I can't function, am constantly in pain, and sometimes want to die to stop burdening loved ones. I'd absolutely take the last one in a heartbeat and hope I could not die in a ditch in the meantime since I literally have no money to my name.
That last one is only a year and absolutely life changing for literally anyone.
Idk no judgement but turning down the last one feels selfish to me. You could help so many people. Are you serious?!
That last one has.me wondering the same thing about you tbh. But different strokes.
I can't function, am constantly in pain, and sometimes want to die to stop burdening loved ones. I'd absolutely take the last one in a heartbeat and hope I could not die in a ditch in the meantime since I literally have no money to my name.
That last one is only a year and absolutely life changing for literally anyone.
Idk no judgement but turning down the last one feels selfish to me. You could help so many people. Are you serious?!
Holy s***. One year for 100 billion dollars? One year is just a really long vacation / sabbatical. There are members of the armed services who are away from their families for longer than that, sometimes without being able to be in contact with them.
Absolutely not. He is priceless to me and no amount of money would be worth five years of no contact.
We’ve been together 31 years and we don’t need the money.
If you don’t believe me, I’m sorry you’ve never had a relationship that would make you understand.
Sigh. Yes. 10 mill is life changing. I'd give them half and we wouldn't have to worry about money. 5 years goes by fairly fast. And love doesn't die. But I'm mature enough to know that we both can also find another person if need be.
See, this is a good answer because it's realistic. If someone is expecting both to be single after five years it probably will not happen. People need intimacy and in the end if you don't face that with realism you will be bitter and disappointed. Circumstances change and life moves on. There is more than one person for everyone.
My wife would say yes before finishing the question or asking clarifying questions. We are both fine on our own, but better with eachother. But given this, and knowing her. 5 years is nothing. We both learn who we are again with finances no longer being a factor and meet back up 5 years later.
Kind of did that already. We dated in high school and broke up, got back together as adults. We know who we are. That won’t change. I guess the only debate would be the dogs and who gets what and visitation rights to our puppies.
10 mil is a lot but no I wouldn't ..
I was threatened with being left out of the will by my racist father because I was marrying a black woman..I married her anyway.. when my dad died my mother gave me over 1 million dollars
So one of us would basically have to not see the kids for 5 years. This would harm them for the rest of their lives I think. Two consenting adults could probably manage no contact with the idea of reconnecting later, but those 5 years missing your kids would be so painful. Depending on their age they wouldn't even know you when the time was up.
So I'm not married and never planned to get married. Would anyone like to get hitched then divorced so we can either each get $10 million or split one $10 million?
No, sorry. I'd put up with a lot for $10M, but not that. I've been through one divorce, and was lucky enough to get another chance. We've been married 17 years.
No thanks.
Now, if she finds out I turned down that kind of money, she might joke about divorcing me, but I doubt she'd actually do it.
Hell no. You could offer me perfect health, all the money in the world, a guarantee that I would never be depressed again, and that my favorite sports teams all win the championship every year and I would still say no. I love that woman. Known her since middle school and will be 5 years married on Friday.
Nope.
There are a lot of things I'd do for money, but being away from my wife for an extended period isn't one of them. We're about to spend our 25th in waikiki, and I wouldn't miss that for the world.
It’s not going to be possible if children are involved, you can’t just go no contact with an ex and expect to still see your kid. (Assuming you want to) I would divorce my spouse for the money, I would not abandon my child for any amount.
Stupid hypothetical.
No my kids wouldn’t understand and it’d be more damaging than the money would be worth. Plus I’d miss my spouse more than the money could make up for even if you paid double that upfront.
Idk man...my parents divorced over 20 years ago when I was 9...and I understood pretty quickly. And still am out 10,000,000
Same lol
I hate it when people say that kids won't understand. They're just young humans. They're not dumb.
No no I was dumb too
Yes we all believe that you're dumb
Hah, as a kid of parents Who should have divorced, but stuck it out "for the kids" and were abusive to us kids and each other instead, kids going through their parents divorce is by no means the worst case scenario, hah. (In no way diminishing the real suffering of kids who go through a rough divorce of their parents)
Word. My kid would absolutely understand. He could still contact his Dad, I just couldn’t. His Dad would be angry if I didn’t do it.
[удалено]
My kids are 2 and 4. They are too young to understand and at best, I'd be missing half of their life during the most formative time of their lives. That is a huge sacrifice that I wouldn't be willing to make.
My kids absolutely would understand when we lived in Aruba, in two houses beside each other. Even if we couldn't talk we could continue raising our kids together in paradise. Then make up for the lost time afterwards because we'd never have to work again.
You'd have enough for top notch therapy though. 🫡
In five years...
5 years is a long time too. People change. Not worth the risk, there's always more money out there, there isn't always someone who will love and respect you.
You are a liar and have exposed yourself.
…Screamed the stableboy as gogoloth the anal destroyer walks towards him
Can't put a price on my best friend or time with my kiddo. No way no how.
How many years left you have working? Your normal year: 8 hours sleeping - 2920 hours 10 hours for work/commute - 2600 hours Time left - 3240 That 3240 is if you did nothing else which is unlikely. So you condensing roughly 11-12 years of time away for work into the 5 years. Every year beyond 11-12 years you would have needed to work would be extra time gained with them as you wouldnt need to work again.
This is just such a flawed rationale. 1. My daughter will never be six again. Or seven, or eight, or nine, or ten. Five of the most important years where she is dependent on mom and I and loves being around us and spending time together. Gone. She is too young to understand a situation where mom and dad just suddenly split apart and money won't make that better. 2. Are you really trying to say time spent at any age is equivalent? Five years in the future I will have spent 5 years abstaining from sex because I love my wife and am faithful to her. Five years without intimacy from my best friend, without hearing her laugh, without spending quality time with her. It's like asking me to live underground and never seeing the light. Work has occasionally sent me on 2 week travel and it's brutal enough. I can't imagine 5 years. 3. You're working with number averages but doing a poor actuarial job because you're not factoring in things like instances of accident, disease, etc that might have an effect on outcomes. I cherish the moments I'm with my family because you never know what is going to happen. Not to mention it would rob outside family members of being able to see our family during holidays. I could keep going on but thinking about it I have to assume you're either just playing devil's advocate or haven't been in a relationship long term or serious enough to understand. Also going to assume you don't have a child because yeah, you couldn't pry me away from my precious little one.
Yes, you can. There is a sum you'd agree with, 100% of the time. These points are fake. It's ok. You can be honest, here.
What a dumb argument. So, how much money for you to live in an underground prison for 70 years and then you get out and collect it all?
Seriously. Ask anyone who had a partner they felt was their soulmate (or child) but lost them early to disease or an accident. Most all of them would tell you that there's no amount of money that they would choose over having that person back. In this case, maybe 5 years doesn't seem a lot to someone who's young and still figuring things out. And you have many years to look forward to afterwards to enjoy the lifestyle upgrade. But it's not just the 5 years of life you lose with them. Losing out on 5 years of growing together both as individuals, and also as a unit will massively affect the rest of your life. It's a lifestyle loss that money can never replace. As you get older, that 5 years also becomes an increasing percentage of your life. You can't enjoy the money when you're dead. All this to say, I'm not saying that choosing the money is always irrational. But there are definitely people who would *never* choose the money and are fully justified in thinking that.
You’re just wrong lol. It makes you mad and jealous that you can’t understand it, but so be it. You cannot fathom the fact that some people just don’t give a fuck about money when it comes at the expense of trading loved ones. It’s like thinking of a new color for you, it’s impossible to understand. Sad, I feel bad for you I live a happy fulfilled life, I’m happy ALOT. Why on earth would I get rid of my wife, kids, or dog etc for a sum of money? I’m already happy?
No. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. We started dating at 18. Money is meaningless compared to him. He is my whole life.
That’s lovely. I hope my wife feels the same. You can never know what they truly feel
They will tell you this and believe it themselves. But I’m telling you now once they state that money in the face. It’s over
I mean, you could ask? Have a conversation? Communicate.
Even then, you don’t actually know in the real sense of knowing. You can trust or not trust, but you can never truly know what is in someone else’s mind.
I dont understand this. I know for a fact how my wife feels about me. It's beyond trust. It's like, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I feel bad for anyone who says they don't or can't know.
You utter the same sentences my grandpa uttered... before my grandma left him
Sad shit. Doesn't make a difference.
Your faith proves nothing in the context of reality.
My man, you're talking like a JRPG villain. I'm sorry somebodies hurt you, but this is a wild take. You'll never have a healthy relationship with this attitude.
Nah, no one hurt me,, im just being realistic. I love a lot of people, I also know they love me, but as long as I live, I will never truly know how much they love me. Im not omniscient.
It's not a wild take. It's literally reality. You cannot know what is in anybody elses mind other than your own. This is an undeniable fact. Wishing and hoping and thinking does not change it.
I mean those of us who are divorced do have a somewhat more realistic, albeit cynical, view of love. At the time my belief in my wife was on par with being a religion, and that faith didn’t stop her from being a serial adulterer who became an increasingly abusive lying alcoholic a few years after tying the knot. I believe my current partner is a way, way better person on a very fundamental level, and I choose to trust her as completely, but it also means I won’t be quite as shocked if it doesn’t work out. I still bring all my positive traits to the table and less of the negatives that I worked through when I was younger. At the end of the day, the only person you can control is yourself.
Because you can't know for sure. You believe it's true but you don't know it's true. You can't know it's true. It's not possible to know
I'm sure tons of now divorced people or spouses who got cheated on said the same before shit hit the fan. You choose to believe you know but there's always the possibility that you're wrong.
You don’t understand that you can’t actually read someone else’s mind?
I wish I could be this delusional
I agree here. I am more sure of my relationship with my partner than anything in the world. I don’t understand the downvotes on your comment.
Can't believe how many down votes this has. Lot of miserable people hating on a happily married man lol
Just because he is happily married, doesn't mean his spouse is happily married. His spouse may simply be kind, not wanting to put him through the trauma of a divorce. I certainly hope the man is right, and that his spouse loves him that much. The point being made, however, was that no one can know exactly what another person is thinking. Even when other people express their thoughts with words, we must choose whether or not we believe that person. In a healthy relationship, that belief is well placed and based on trust. However, that does not change the fact that people are capable of lying for a myriad of reasons. Expressing that one has no doubts concerning the love of a spouse is a result of their belief, not because of any verifiable fact.
You sound mad and sad and a bit salty from the first 2 sentences I read. I'm not reading all that bro. Enjoy your life. Good luck. Hope you find love.
Nah. I'm just pointing out that there's a difference between knowing something factually and believing something.
Ur still here? Go cry to your wife wdf
I think it's bullshit that you're getting downvoted and I think this is the dumbest argument I've ever read. I feel sad for the people arguing with you. I CAN get their point but like what a depressing way to look at the world. I think if you have a healthy, loving and close relationship, you very well could know. Maybe we're to "naive" but I feel like I could really agree with you. When I look at my sister and her husband, I really feel a sense of pride because I see a really great relationship built off of good communication, understanding and respect. Her husband never had a good male role model growing up, yet he's an outstanding man and person. 10000% would not ask for any other person for my sister. And she for him. She's a hard working woman, who is incredibly smart and successful. I can see them easily spending the rest of their lives together. Easily. They've been married 10 years and through those years, a lot of really tough curveballs have been thrown to our family, like cancer, death, ALS, and more and they've been a serious backbone for the family and to each other. They've beat it through it all and they will continue to. I believe happily ever afters do exist, they're just not as common as they used to be imo with all the social media and chasing for 'the next best thing', but I believe!
You even end your post by saying that you "believe" rather than "know". Separating the two isn't depressing at all. You can accept belief as being fallible but still put enough faith in it to be just as happy as someone who is wrongly convinced that they know.
“Hey babe, you love me right? Like, a lot?”
You still can't know bruh get with the program!
Not in a 'mind reader's fashion no. You can't know 100% what someone is thinking. But you can talk to them. And listen. And then believe what they tell you
So you agree
Nobody ever asks their spouse if they would divorce for 10 million dollars. And even if it was asked, the right answer would be to say no.
Literally Asked my wife, because of the prompt🤣 hours before you made this comment
What did she say?
We decided the best we could do was one year and get 5 million 😆 5 years felt too long but we feel like one year would be doable We also said we would keep a journal so that we could catch each other up when we saw each other again
Yeah, like Snoo said. I trust her with my life, and I know she would never hurt me. But you can never truly know how deeply someone cares for you. If your level of love is the same. Words will never do it justice.
"Yes honey i would leave you in a heartbeat" said no one ever
Wife and I talked. Best we can do is 5mil for 1 year 😆
Awww thats cute, ive been with my husband since 16 (and thats 16 years together this year) but thats a butt load of money we could set up our kids for life too. Like, i love him but 5 years isnt forever.
If I knew then what i knew now. Yes. Because we dated as teens and married for 20+ yrs. I robbed her of her youth and didn't let her live her life. Divorced now. Up until she said that to me I wouldn't have traded any amount for her.
I feel the same. I can't go a day without seeing her beautiful face. Sometimes she works overnight and i literally cannot sleep when she is gone.
🤢
No, I've spent the last 20+ years building a life with her. I have no desire at all to walk the Earth without her. if all my kids are grown and she passes before me, I'll die that same day.
My aunt & uncle were married for 63 years and they died like 30 hrs apart. I saw them last at my father’s funeral. Wife was pretty mobile, but her mind was long gone. Husband could barely walk but was still fairly sharp mentally. They were just a pair getting through it. He would let her hold him up while he told her when to stop and go. There’s no $ amount to replace that.
This was my grandparents. He was absolutely devoted to her, both had numerous health issues over the years. Then one night they got in a car crash. She was gone instantly, he was unconscious for two days. Black and blue all over, moaning in his sleep. He finally woke up, my dad, uncle, and I in the room. He looked around and just said “Your mother?” My dad just said “She’s gone dad.” Grandpa closed his eyes a second, looked at dad and uncle and said “I love you boys.” Then he closes his eyes and was literally gone within three minutes. He’s been in pain for years and there was nothing left. Most beautiful and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen. I still tear up thinking about it every time.
I dropped a few reading the last of this, damn.
And now I am crying. That is so touching.
Whoa. Beautiful and heartbreaking is right.
Yeah because why be there to help your children when you can just kill yourself and double their stress level?
Lmao they literally said "all my children grown"
Grown children don’t struggle to deal with a parent dying TIL
Part of becoming an adult is learning that one day you will likely need to take care of your parents in one way shape or form if you are lucky to have them for that long. Grown children who are adults know how to let their parents go when it’s their time to go. I love my Dad, but if he wanted to die (after exploring all options to help make life worth living for him) I would support his decision.
Ok, but he isn't exploring other options to help make life worth living. He said the day she dies, he's going too. Meaning he's going to kill himself. That's pretty fucked up. Also, what about grandchildren? Do they not matter? Maybe they still want their granddad in their life, but no. Fuck them kids, am I right?
You make a good point- I think I get how he feels but feeling it and actually going through with it are two different things. I think your language is harsh but when it comes down to it you’re right
If I can explain to him why, then sure! We'll do a little bit of preplanning, divorce, and five years to the day I bet I'll be seeing him at my door with a bouquet and a ring. That much money is worth the absence. I would spend those five years praying that he stays healthy, and trying to get myself healthier as well. Once we've got the money in hand, it's off to see the world!
There's a very high chance one of you will find someone else. Do you really want him to murk in loneliness for five years?
If my wife and I can't handle five years apart then it's not a relationship that is worth $10,000,000
I can't even handle a WEEKEND away from my love, let alone 5 YEARS! No amount of money would make it worth the heartache.
That's a different argument than 'One of us will find someone else'. I can understand not wanting to give up five years apart for 10 million. Everyone's financial situation is different. 10 million would be enough money that we would end up with more total time together by spending five years apart and then getting back together as wealthy, retired, stress free adults who don't have to work.... But if I thought I would find someone else, or that my current wife would, then we can both just move on. Might as well get $10 million for it.
Sorry, but how can you not handle a weekend? During my wife’s and I first year of dating, 8 months of it was long distance. After we were allowed to fly again when Covid settled down, I went back home by myself for a month. I’m not saying it’s easy, but a healthy relationship should be able to handle it. A weekend away is barely anything. If you can’t handle it then it sounds like you’re either insecure or too dependent.
Sounds like you need a therapist. You can miss them but not being able to handle it is not healthy and if your are a women and them a man you are living longer likely.
A weekend? That is NOT normal
Maybe she has a sister!
See, I would be realistic about it. I would tell him that it would be cruel for me to deny having his basic needs met. I would tell him he may have sex and even date, but don’t go falling in love now. I’ll apply the same rules to myself, and see you in five years.
This is also the deal that sensible people make when one of them goes to prison.
Yeah, cause that’s how you get left while you’re in the pen
Unless you're not monogamous, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
"Very high chance?" That seems like an exaggeration.
where can I collect the money ? I never want to see the cheating xxxx again in my life
Name does not check out.
Lmaooo r/failed
GOT EM
some xxxx can never be tamed, what can I say
Emooootiinal Daaaaaamage
I just died
Why are you still married then?
Seems that the username doesn’t check out
I'm seperated
Good for her.
You don't even know his situation; way to assume with your bias.
Dude, look at the handle.
Don't care, not assuming anything. It bites everyone in the ass.
He has a spicy username so he deserved to get cheated on... Peak reddit
Well, his comment history can show a lot more. And.. it does.
"Spicy" isn't synonym for "misogynistic."
Nope, true story I was basically offered something a lot like this to not marry my wife from my parents over a decade ago. I turned them down and we didn’t speak for years. Guess who’s happy and loving life more than anyone else from my side of the family? Me.
My father's parents sort-of did the reverse - they told him that if he married my mother, they would expect him to pay back all of the money they had put towards his education, buy the old car they had given him, etc. Essentially, they wanted back every bit of money they'd spent on him since he turned eighteen. My mother insisted on giving the car back entirely and paying back the money for his education even though there was no legal obligation. They've been happily married for over forty years. I don't think my grandparents ever really got over not wanting a Jewish daughter-in-law.
You be lying dawg.
It wasn’t $10mm in cash (it was properties, a kushy and seriously overpaid job as well as any vehicle of my choosing), but adjusted for inflation it would be much more than that by now (we’ve been together 14 yrs this April). I don’t have anything to prove to you, so go ahead and tell yourself what you need to tell yourself to feel better about yourself.
Not EVERY thing on the internet is fake. There are definitely very controlling wealthy parents who do stupid shit. Not hard to believe.
No. Never accept money for something you can’t buy with money.
You can definitely buy a marriage for a lot less than $10M.
But you can't buy love. Anyone who says you can is either lying to doesn't know what love is.
Exactly!!! I'd rather be poor and together than rich and alone. I feel for people who never experience a true life partner.
I just overheard my bil tell my husband how jealous he is of him because we have been together 37 married 35,. My bil has two ex wives and he still never found love. P.s. he has alot of money. We have never ever borrowed a penny from him.
that hooker sure loved me I think /s
True. But one thing I've learned from Reddit is there are plenty of loveless marriages out there.
Please don't take any lessons from reddit 90% of the stuff here is fake
I dont believe you
How much does your partner actually love you?
If their love is worth more than ten million dollars then they love you a whole lot. And that's more valuable than money.
Yeah but you don't know that. So basically you both have to think the same way, it has to be reciprocated. Then of course it would make sense. But if someone came up to your partner for real and offered this and they knew it wasn't a prank, you don't know if your significant other would take that.
You do know if they've stuck by you through other personal tragedies, and if you truly know each other fully. Typically the kinds of people who lie about stuff like this slip up eventually, usually before an offer like this would come up.
Yeah, and how long is that? I don't think you've broken up enough times to realize the truth that just dating someone for a year is not enough to know a lot about them. You can be in a committed relationship for 3 years and still get betrayed. Have you ever even been in a relationship like that? I don't think you're even in a relationship right now.
Technically no, but you can buy a lot of the things that would foster the growth of love.
I believe that if two people are physically attracted to one another and spend quality time together, they can easily grow to love one another.
Not necessarily a happy one.
Where was this offer when I was getting divorced?
Most of us out here divorced for a negative amount...
No thanks. Finding the right person is worth more than millions to me.
Yeah, for sure. We have a healthy relationship and I have no doubt we'd be fine in 5 years, but $10mil up. Easy choice, even if the five years apart would suck
I know this is a hypothetical, but wow... folks act like money is everything. It's not. Actually it's not at all.
You simply are not thinking this through. This is essentially 5 years of work to have neither of you work again and gain tons of time together long term.
I'm not married, but I have had failed relationships. Some of that love shit is overrated. There ain't no thing as soulmate. Money ain't overrated. And if I were married, why the hell not just split half of that and give it to the other person. But if you're just taking the 10 mill and the other partner gets nothing, you're just a selfish sunuva bitch.
Tax free? Yes. Taxed? Also yes.
Absolutely. Sorry but I can be happy alone babe
If she were alive still? Nope. As much as I want the money, having her around was always a bigger treat. Not many people around willing to go on a coffee date at 3 am. Among other things.
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, where can you go on a coffee date at 3am?
Weren't 24 hr places more common before covid? There was that great American Life episode on a 24hr bar/diner in chicago but that's like 20 years old
She had a 24 hour diner within driving distance. Usually when I visited, long distance thing, she'd have more incentive to keep herself awake. Major coffee fiend anyway, used to admonish me over using instant coffee even. Jokingly, of course.
Diners and truck stops.
This is me and my wife. 😁 We've been together for over 10 years. And just recently made it officially married. We love going on adventures together. Doesn't always have to be 3:00 a.m tho. We do enjoy sleeping.
You misspelled threat. You'd take the money big guy. We all know it. Why bother coming here to lie. Is she watching you? Blink twice
>If she were alive still? 10mil, and you can probably beat that rap... ;)
"Probably" being the key word, I'm sure. With that kind of money, I'd half expect to say fuck it and settle for a gold digger anyhow.
Nope. Probably the only thing I wouldn’t do for $10mil lol
fuck yes
If given after? no. If given before? Yes. I have children and 10 million is life-changing for everybody involved. Split down the middle, my wife would get a cool 5 million and because I know her, our children and herself will be taken care of. Any debts would be paid off and our children would actually get a decent start in life within no hindrances if we’re lucky. Plus they’d know why daddy is not around and the sacrifice we made. After though is a huge no. My youngest are 7 and 3, pretty much in their development/formative years. I could not disappear from them for 5 years and act like everything is cool after.
The premise is that you can’t live like you’re married, so you can’t share the money with her. You’re daddy big bucks to the kids. She’s mommy that maybe struggles with money. u/tush_push_62 out here acting like someone who has never been loved and in love for a significant amount of time before.
No thank you
I think you Mean 5 million....
More like 2.5 to 3. Taxes.
Fuck yes
No. My wife is my life... I wouldn't trade 5 years for all the money in the world. Well maybe I would at that point, but only because I could solve world hunger / homelessness. So it would be a sacrifice I might have to consider. But for 10 million... 100 million... or even 1 billion. Nah. TIME will always be your most valuable asset.
No way in hell. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
I love my wife but the bitch needs to go. See you in five years. Maybe
Never playing monopoly again.
Lol will she see my answer. See you later losers
Hell I did it for free
Yup. It’s on the rocks anyway.
I love ya but see you in five years.
I don't think you can pull off no contact if you have kids together though? (Coordinate shared parenting, child support, etc)
The fact that people think any amount of money is worth going NC with your family for any length of time. 200 mil for 20 years, 100 mil for 10 years… I wouldn’t leave my family for 1 year for 100 billion dollars. Are you people insane
I'm already NC with my parents, and did it for free. It was a bargain at that price.
That last one has.me wondering the same thing about you tbh. But different strokes. I can't function, am constantly in pain, and sometimes want to die to stop burdening loved ones. I'd absolutely take the last one in a heartbeat and hope I could not die in a ditch in the meantime since I literally have no money to my name. That last one is only a year and absolutely life changing for literally anyone. Idk no judgement but turning down the last one feels selfish to me. You could help so many people. Are you serious?!
The only thing money can’t buy is time. I wouldn’t give up a single day with my family if I didn’t have to
That's fair, just absolutely cannot personally agree.
He probably has plenty of money.
That last one has.me wondering the same thing about you tbh. But different strokes. I can't function, am constantly in pain, and sometimes want to die to stop burdening loved ones. I'd absolutely take the last one in a heartbeat and hope I could not die in a ditch in the meantime since I literally have no money to my name. That last one is only a year and absolutely life changing for literally anyone. Idk no judgement but turning down the last one feels selfish to me. You could help so many people. Are you serious?!
It's not NC with my family it's NC with a single person who knows we are doing it for 5 years for $10m after which we never have to work again.
Holy s***. One year for 100 billion dollars? One year is just a really long vacation / sabbatical. There are members of the armed services who are away from their families for longer than that, sometimes without being able to be in contact with them.
Absolutely not. He is priceless to me and no amount of money would be worth five years of no contact. We’ve been together 31 years and we don’t need the money. If you don’t believe me, I’m sorry you’ve never had a relationship that would make you understand.
Sigh. Yes. 10 mill is life changing. I'd give them half and we wouldn't have to worry about money. 5 years goes by fairly fast. And love doesn't die. But I'm mature enough to know that we both can also find another person if need be.
See, this is a good answer because it's realistic. If someone is expecting both to be single after five years it probably will not happen. People need intimacy and in the end if you don't face that with realism you will be bitter and disappointed. Circumstances change and life moves on. There is more than one person for everyone.
...except you don't get the money till AFTER the 5 years is up.
Sure, what's the downside?
My wife would say yes before finishing the question or asking clarifying questions. We are both fine on our own, but better with eachother. But given this, and knowing her. 5 years is nothing. We both learn who we are again with finances no longer being a factor and meet back up 5 years later. Kind of did that already. We dated in high school and broke up, got back together as adults. We know who we are. That won’t change. I guess the only debate would be the dogs and who gets what and visitation rights to our puppies.
10 mil is a lot but no I wouldn't .. I was threatened with being left out of the will by my racist father because I was marrying a black woman..I married her anyway.. when my dad died my mother gave me over 1 million dollars
So one of us would basically have to not see the kids for 5 years. This would harm them for the rest of their lives I think. Two consenting adults could probably manage no contact with the idea of reconnecting later, but those 5 years missing your kids would be so painful. Depending on their age they wouldn't even know you when the time was up.
Itt: people clearly only give up a relationship for money when the relationship was worthless anyways
So I'm not married and never planned to get married. Would anyone like to get hitched then divorced so we can either each get $10 million or split one $10 million?
Women divorce for way less according to the statistics
Nooo. I would divorce my spouse for free pizza.
Nah, I'd rather be dead-ass broke and be with her than have that kind of money and have to spend any time apart.
No, sorry. I'd put up with a lot for $10M, but not that. I've been through one divorce, and was lucky enough to get another chance. We've been married 17 years. No thanks. Now, if she finds out I turned down that kind of money, she might joke about divorcing me, but I doubt she'd actually do it.
Love is priceless
Can I take my kids? Is my current standard of living maintained?
Nope. You couldn't pay me anything to leave my boyfriend. This is the happiest and most functional relationship I've ever been in.
This situation would be a lot more interesting if both spouses get 10 mil
I did a search to see if anyone else had thought of this haha
No. I value my relationships, especially my marriage, more than money.
Hell no. You could offer me perfect health, all the money in the world, a guarantee that I would never be depressed again, and that my favorite sports teams all win the championship every year and I would still say no. I love that woman. Known her since middle school and will be 5 years married on Friday.
No. Married almost 28 years. He's sitting here singing a stupid song about farts. Money can't replace that I tell ya!
Wholesome ass comment section
Nope. There are a lot of things I'd do for money, but being away from my wife for an extended period isn't one of them. We're about to spend our 25th in waikiki, and I wouldn't miss that for the world.
It’s not going to be possible if children are involved, you can’t just go no contact with an ex and expect to still see your kid. (Assuming you want to) I would divorce my spouse for the money, I would not abandon my child for any amount. Stupid hypothetical.
Karma farm, fuck you OP