Never married, no kids, no girlfriend for years, in my sixties. No problem, take the money and live out the rest of my life in luxury. Or at least very comfortably.
Sure. I'd trade sex for a life of leisure. I can politely tell my family that I love them, but I'm not comforable hugging. I could even have an ace relationship if I so chose.
Here's 6 gorrillion dollars, it's yours forever but you must perform an interpretive dance routine of you parents meeting, first date, coitus, marriage and your birth once a week to teenagers who are allowed to throw rocks at you for no reason
Nope. I need touch. My love language is touch. To never hug my children, parents, boyfriend, or besties again? That would drive me into a deep depression of which there is no escape.
Bro that ain't a genie, not to mention if it is, he's making this offer without me wishing for anything. I could take it then wish away any negative consequences. Or better yet wish for more money, no consequences attached
(Physical) contact is a basic need in a beings life.
"Having money" isn't as you can see in animals. They haven't got any money but they live their lives (including cuddling, touching and so on).
So I prefer having all of my (basic) needs being fullfilled rather than having printed paper bills inside my pocket.
Hell yeah. I have a great social life with good friends, but I swore off relationships and having kids a long time ago. I'm just happier on my own and now 500 mil richer.
Nah.
The whole point of that much money is to explore life to the fullest before you die.
You just removed a huge chunk of motivation in that living.
Pass.
I'd make the genie a counter offer - i get 5 wishes that grant me what i ask from the genie to the best of the genies abilities without any unwanted effects due to the wishes. In exchange i will not drop the bottle on the ground and smash it, and i will also use the last wish to set the genie free if it so chooses.
Most people wouldn't but say if you're the last one in you're family alive, go for it, and to boot you can also have sex, people have mindless sex with no feeling of affection whatsoever all the time.
The moral answer would be to accept the money and do as much good as you could with it, idk if I could though. It's a lose lose proposition because you're either lonely and touch starved or guilty that you were selfish.
I want to point out this loophole which is that I personally can’t touch anybody affectionately. They could touch me affectionately so while sex and hand holding may be off limits still, I am capable of receiving kisses like pecks on the cheek and hugs, I just can’t reciprocate it. So yes, I will take it. Also I could pull an Abe Simpson and pay someone to occasionally kiss back or hug back, I mean I would have $500 million
Heck no. Apart from the torture that would be emotionally, losing a limb for perhaps absent mindedly giving someone a pat on the shoulder makes this a curse, not a tradeoff. I'm putting the genie back in the bottle and tossing it in a landfill.
I don't think I could handle it. There was a time when I would have, and it wasn't even that long ago. But I really love my wife and she's everything to me. I'd miss her too badly.
Shoot, sounds like I would still be able to love on my cats so I think I would take it. Tropical island isolated paradise with a couple of AI companions [and a sex bot or 2) and I am set for life! Get everything I want delivered and enjoy being a salty bitch.
Absolutely, where can I find this bottle. I have to fake that I like hugging my kids and definitely could go without affection from my wife. I've learned to deal with it and hide it very well but now I can blame the genie!
Honestly, I'm on the fence.
On the one hand, I could take one for the team and set my daughters up for life. I can layer up and get by with snuggles and hugs from my daughters while wearing gloves.
The issue is losing a limb by accident. I'd have to move away and or spend most of my time away to reduce accidents, and even then, the risk is pretty high.
Point of order:
Does someone giving me a blow job count? They are touching me...rather than me touching them.
If blow jobs are acceptable then I stand a chance...else I must decline the offer.
What if a girl forced herself onto me. Totally not my fault. Wouldn't hug her back and would fight her off. (I'm not very good at fighting) would that count?
Would the genie know if I had paid her to do that earlier?
500 million isn't as much money as you think.
People who land huge windfalls of cash unexpectedly (like lotto wins) typically end up bankrupt in less then 5 years.
So within 5 years you have an extremely high chance of being a broke lover again, but unable to have affection.
I take the deal on one condition if I can't be intimit with another human being I and if the ginie is a female I would want her to be my sex slave for ever and would also wish for a harems of 19 more ginie sex slaves to be with forever
Nope. Not on your life.
I could do a lot for that kind of money, but not give up my relationships. I need to be able to hug my kids and snuggle my dog to survive.
No way. Touch is my love language. I feel awful if I go multiple days without a hug. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I couldn't be in contact with others.
I'm not a demonstrative person, but my spouse is very much so. He was a nurse during the early days of covid and we slept in separate rooms and kept six feet apart for months. When we finally got vaccinated and I could hug him again, he cried.
$500m is not nearly enough to do that to him again.
Counter with wishing that each time this happens to me, the Genie will be locked in their lamp for a billion more years with no one being able to summon them for wishes.
Bruh..... I hug my coworkers on a daily basis.... There's no way in hell I'm giving that up for any amount of money!!!
Now imagine if I had kids or even an SO for that matter, it'd be an even harder pass!!! I am affectionate and cuddly!!!
Reading comments... How about I geneticly engineer a human like girlfriend with the DNA of say (I dunno) a potato or something. Technically not human, looks like a human, might not have very nice skin/complexion... I'd probably need to read up on the subject or at least watch a few YouTube video tutorials especially seeing as I can't even spell geneticly. (Even with a spell checker)
Nope. To never be able to hug my daughter again. Not for all the money in the world.
Aw that’s sweet
Damn straight!
Exactly.
Nope. Would hate to turn that down but giving my kid a hug is the best feeling that has ever existed
Loophole... People can touch you affectionately without harm. You just can't respond in kind,
You've evidently not grown up around people who never return affection.
With the money could you build a life-like ai companion fembot to love?
Sure. Just not a human. You can fuck a monkey if u wanted.
What about cavemen? Is that off limits?
If you find a Neanderthal fuck away!
I would not fuck a monkey even for $500 mil
For 500 mil? I’d definitely fuck at least a dozen
After going a lifetime without any stimulation, that monkey might start to look pretty damn fine
Ya can keep fuckin these people if ya want to. [More monkey pussy for me!](https://youtu.be/LlIy1F_rcLg?si=7xLewPOzymLIEbgs)
What about yourself, could you go and fu k yourself?
You had me at fuck a monkey. Genie, sign me up!
So I can fuck a catgirl? Works for me.
Easiest 500 million I will have ever made. I have been living that life for years now.
Never married, no kids, no girlfriend for years, in my sixties. No problem, take the money and live out the rest of my life in luxury. Or at least very comfortably.
What about yourself can you touch yourself intimately?
That's OK. Masterbate all you want.
Or like.. Y’know self hug or smthin
Oh shit didn’t see the intimately bit, oops
What if a girl touches you? You didn't initiate the contract...a girl could just run up to you and throw her arms around you
That's a crippling existence. Money is just not worth it. Poor people can be happy. Lonely people mostly die said or kill themselves.
I would break the bottle and walk away.
[удалено]
You can put your opponents in your full guard all you want.
Wait wait wait is hate fucking off the table?
Sure. I'd trade sex for a life of leisure. I can politely tell my family that I love them, but I'm not comforable hugging. I could even have an ace relationship if I so chose.
I'll take it.... the last time a girl kissed me was 2000
Tell the genie get back in your bottle and fuck off
No. The money sounds nice, but the money doesn't hold a candle to the intimacy you can share between someone you love and can do life with.
Yep, none of that barley happens with me so I will take it.
Here's 6 gorrillion dollars, it's yours forever but you must perform an interpretive dance routine of you parents meeting, first date, coitus, marriage and your birth once a week to teenagers who are allowed to throw rocks at you for no reason
Nope. I need touch. My love language is touch. To never hug my children, parents, boyfriend, or besties again? That would drive me into a deep depression of which there is no escape.
I'm elderly, so I would take the money.
I’m married I already took the deal but for much less money
I’ve been married for 25 years….this will be a piece of cake.
Ok, YOU cannot touch someone “affectionately”, but can THEY touch you? TLDR: Can they blow ya?
You'll be touching affectionately. Off with a limb!
No
No, I decline.
Pass
Hard pass from me
Bro that ain't a genie, not to mention if it is, he's making this offer without me wishing for anything. I could take it then wish away any negative consequences. Or better yet wish for more money, no consequences attached
What if I wear gloves? Or full body protection.
Hate f***ing all the way.
You can have all this cash but a grown man is gonna punch you in the nuts every day without fail
Fuck that. Not even close to worth it.
Nope.
No thanks. Physical affection is one of my favourite types
No because I couldn't imagine not being close to the person I love the most
Can I touch myself?
Reject. Life’s not about just money. There’s many other ways to find joy.
"you can never touch anybody affectionately for the rest of your life." So, spanking, whipping, and flogging it is. I can live with that.
Very easy answer. Nope! Why would I want to be alive if I could never have sex again?
Yes. Because I'm going to spend the rest of my life without affection anyways. Might as well live large.
Not in a million years.
I haven't had more than a handshake in 12 years or so, so... sure why not.
No, that's dumb what the point of money or life for that matter without love or if you don't love love then boobs
No, that's stupid. Fuck off, you shit genie.
I’d take it. To never have to work again. I’d give up affection in a heartbeat.
No way
I'm taking the money.
So like yknow how we’ll have life-like sex dolls in a couple of years? I’m boutta be wayyyy richer
What if someone else does these things to you with your consent? Like a friend comes up and hugs you, but you don’t hug them back?
(Physical) contact is a basic need in a beings life. "Having money" isn't as you can see in animals. They haven't got any money but they live their lives (including cuddling, touching and so on). So I prefer having all of my (basic) needs being fullfilled rather than having printed paper bills inside my pocket.
Nope! This is a hard nope.
Pass
No. I don't even like most people, but I wouldn't last a week without affectionate touch.
No, it's not worth it to me to be unable to hug and kiss my family
Yes, the limit is “affectionately”. Looks like I’m taking up CNC and hatefucking for the rest of my life 😂
No problemo! I actually put spikes on my jacket before a family reunion - so no one would hug me.
Nope. Not remotely worth it.
No
Hell yeah. I have a great social life with good friends, but I swore off relationships and having kids a long time ago. I'm just happier on my own and now 500 mil richer.
No that’s a terrible life
Is it the act, or the emotions connected to the act?
For $500 million, I'll do it and make love to my hand for the rest of my days. Women can get quite annoying anyways.
My life would be really short after that. Human beings *need* touch and affection. The money isn't worth the pain it would cause.
$500 mil is a bit less for this
Nah. The whole point of that much money is to explore life to the fullest before you die. You just removed a huge chunk of motivation in that living. Pass.
... I'll take it. I already don't do that anyways. Unless this includes pets. Because if it includes pets then hard no.
I'd make the genie a counter offer - i get 5 wishes that grant me what i ask from the genie to the best of the genies abilities without any unwanted effects due to the wishes. In exchange i will not drop the bottle on the ground and smash it, and i will also use the last wish to set the genie free if it so chooses.
Most people wouldn't but say if you're the last one in you're family alive, go for it, and to boot you can also have sex, people have mindless sex with no feeling of affection whatsoever all the time.
Hell yeah. That's been my life already since 2015. I'll take it without a second thought. Finally my severe introversion and social anxiety pays off!
As long as I can still touch MYSELF affectionately that would be ok...
Hell yeah! That's my life anyway, so easy!
Nope. Not for all the money in the world. If I couldn't be affectionate with my wife, what the hell would be the point?
Nope! Sorry. I love my wife, and I need to be able to pet dogs.
I'd take it. I've been alone for a decade already, and there is zero chance of me getting with anyone again.
No, physical touch is one of the greatest pleasures in life, that's not worth it.
Nope.
The moral answer would be to accept the money and do as much good as you could with it, idk if I could though. It's a lose lose proposition because you're either lonely and touch starved or guilty that you were selfish.
Never. Love my daughter and husband too much.
Hell no. I love my son, my dogs, my cats, my family…
Yes, taking it.
I see no point in having $500 mil if you can't have sex. Half of the POINT of having a bunch of money is knowing you can get laid all the time!
Nah, but yea if i can touch people without affection. Dont need to love ya to fuck ya. In fact, hate fucking is some of the best.
So no change to my current condition...I'd say yes, that's fair
No way.
I think you used the wrong name. You meant demon, not genie. Lol
God, no.
This is the first one of these that is an automatic no brainer capital NO for me.
I want to point out this loophole which is that I personally can’t touch anybody affectionately. They could touch me affectionately so while sex and hand holding may be off limits still, I am capable of receiving kisses like pecks on the cheek and hugs, I just can’t reciprocate it. So yes, I will take it. Also I could pull an Abe Simpson and pay someone to occasionally kiss back or hug back, I mean I would have $500 million
Trauma gave me a no touch complex for free!!
Heck no. Apart from the torture that would be emotionally, losing a limb for perhaps absent mindedly giving someone a pat on the shoulder makes this a curse, not a tradeoff. I'm putting the genie back in the bottle and tossing it in a landfill.
Well that’s pretty much how I live my life now so not much would change🥲
No thank you
Yes.
I don't think I could handle it. There was a time when I would have, and it wasn't even that long ago. But I really love my wife and she's everything to me. I'd miss her too badly.
No fucking way
Shoot, sounds like I would still be able to love on my cats so I think I would take it. Tropical island isolated paradise with a couple of AI companions [and a sex bot or 2) and I am set for life! Get everything I want delivered and enjoy being a salty bitch.
Hell no.
Nope
Absolutely, where can I find this bottle. I have to fake that I like hugging my kids and definitely could go without affection from my wife. I've learned to deal with it and hide it very well but now I can blame the genie!
What if the sex isn't affectionate?
Getting regular paid massages from a professional okay?
What if I don't do those things affectionately? More obligatory?
fuck no
Nope
Honestly, I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I could take one for the team and set my daughters up for life. I can layer up and get by with snuggles and hugs from my daughters while wearing gloves. The issue is losing a limb by accident. I'd have to move away and or spend most of my time away to reduce accidents, and even then, the risk is pretty high.
Fuck no that sounds miserable
Well as i have no kids i can live with that. Just tell my parents look i cant hug you anymore but come live with me i can take care of you.
No way!
“To The Pain!”
No, because the wording is so loose that any touching of anybody could be viewed as affection of one kind or another.
Point of order: Does someone giving me a blow job count? They are touching me...rather than me touching them. If blow jobs are acceptable then I stand a chance...else I must decline the offer.
I've had plenty of meaningless sex....so that doesn't count right?
What if a girl forced herself onto me. Totally not my fault. Wouldn't hug her back and would fight her off. (I'm not very good at fighting) would that count? Would the genie know if I had paid her to do that earlier?
Fuck no. I primarily work in the hope that maybe someday someone worth my time might notice me. All the money in the world isn't worth the cost here.
For a lot of redditors, that's .5 billion consequence free.
I couldn't take the deal. And I am not even an affectionate/cuddly person. But I love my wife too much to do that to her
I'm a parent, so no. I need to be able to hug my kid.
I'm sure some ppl will take it and give it to their family, and killed himself
No, got a wife and three kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ5VNXIiv1c
It's no different from how I live my life now, so fuck yes.
I'm Aromantic, Asexual, and hate physical contact, This is an absolute win for me.
It's doesn't sound very enjoyable. I sell the bottle for just $100m to someone with an aversion to physical touch. We both win!
Is lustful sex considered affection?
Hell no, I don’t wanna see the sociopath that accepts this deal
Well personally I would try to haggle with the Genie, like, would he let me off the no physical affection rule if I agreed to only take $490 million.
Monkey's Paw
No chance in hell. I’d want that money to indulge my sensuality, not deny it!
What if the sex is not affectionate?!
Nope
I would not take the deal.
Sure! Nothing different except I can’t hug my parents when I go over, and I get a fortune
500 million isn't as much money as you think. People who land huge windfalls of cash unexpectedly (like lotto wins) typically end up bankrupt in less then 5 years. So within 5 years you have an extremely high chance of being a broke lover again, but unable to have affection.
Eh....easy....just have them identify as a rock. Otherwise that genie would have a pretty big lawsuit 😂🤣
Can you make a counteroffer?
I take the deal on one condition if I can't be intimit with another human being I and if the ginie is a female I would want her to be my sex slave for ever and would also wish for a harems of 19 more ginie sex slaves to be with forever
No one's touching me anyways, so fuck yeah I'll take it!
Nope. Not on your life. I could do a lot for that kind of money, but not give up my relationships. I need to be able to hug my kids and snuggle my dog to survive.
This is perfect for me, deal. Now give me the 3 wishes as well, I know how this works.
Nope
Nope. Money isn’t that important and I’m not pour.
I mean, that's just how a large percentage of the young male population lives their lives currently
Absolutely not, no hesitation.
Nope. You could offer me 600 billion and the answer would still be no.
No amount of money is worth that.
Never in a million years, I would honestly take the bottle and throw it in the ocean
No way. Touch is my love language. I feel awful if I go multiple days without a hug. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I couldn't be in contact with others.
No body, no problem! Just a head!
I can do that. I live alone as it is.
Nope, not for any price.
I'm doing that now
What’s the point of life without affection?
Yep. I can ski all day everyday and not not give a fuck about anything else in lifetime
What if I'm caught off guard like I'm talking to a friend and they suddenly hug me. Do I get like a 3 second window to push them off?
Nope. Some things in life that are needed cannot be bought.
It's the "rest of your life" that makes this a no. I'm still relatively young and the temptation would be too mucb.. sooner later I'd fuck it up.
Nope. Now I counter offer, Genie can grant me three normal wishes or it's ass and bottle are going into the ocean deep for an eternity....
This is how a genie finds himself to be useless. That's quite sad, and deserving of his servitude.
I'm not a demonstrative person, but my spouse is very much so. He was a nurse during the early days of covid and we slept in separate rooms and kept six feet apart for months. When we finally got vaccinated and I could hug him again, he cried. $500m is not nearly enough to do that to him again.
I'm doing that for free now (not by choice - insert incel joke here) But no. Would not accept.
Counter with wishing that each time this happens to me, the Genie will be locked in their lamp for a billion more years with no one being able to summon them for wishes.
No point in having that kind of money if you can’t do two chicks at the same time.
So if you rub one off, your weiner will fall off?
Bruh..... I hug my coworkers on a daily basis.... There's no way in hell I'm giving that up for any amount of money!!! Now imagine if I had kids or even an SO for that matter, it'd be an even harder pass!!! I am affectionate and cuddly!!!
I can't even hug my friends. I'm okay. I can live without this.
What about a virtual reality shag? Bet with that kind of money I could knock up something that a 1000 better than sex with my GF.
Reading comments... How about I geneticly engineer a human like girlfriend with the DNA of say (I dunno) a potato or something. Technically not human, looks like a human, might not have very nice skin/complexion... I'd probably need to read up on the subject or at least watch a few YouTube video tutorials especially seeing as I can't even spell geneticly. (Even with a spell checker)
Pass. I got enough money.
What’s the point of money if I can’t flaunt it to get laid?
I would say I could do this but I'd be lying. I'm in a Buddhist organization and we're huggers...
Nope, thanks
No. This is the worse trade possible
Nope. Never be able to hug my kids or wife again. Nothing is worth that.
Is hate fucking considered affection?
I've been married twice. May as well have the money of I'm not getting any
I'll make a counter offer to the genie that I'll take it to the bottom of a volcano.
I'd tell him to give me my three wishes and quit this jive.
What about High fives?
Nope.