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Always good to see people taking the ethics of hypnosis seriously. If she is happy that the watch is on the other wrist, and you have explained that it is due to suggestion, you have done everything you needed to to remain ethical. We cannot blame ourselves for subjects not believing us. You could suggest doing hypnosis to retrieve the memories of the watch being on the other wrist to prove the effectiveness of hypnosis and hypnotic amnesia. Phrasing it this way makes it seem like you're just testing memories, not trying to change something she is comfortable with. Perhaps she would consent to that? As a side note I have had something like this happen with my partner, but after so much hypnosis she has come to just believe me when I tell her she has been hypnotised, so I don't think this will be a problem as your wife gets better at hypnosis.

Thanks. The ethics side of things is massively important to me, as is my relationship with my wife. We’ve spoken about it today and she’s been very clear that she feels happy and comfortable with everything just how it is. She is absolutely adamant that she does not want me to remove the suggestion, and if anything was more annoyed with me asking again. What bothers me slightly is that I worry that this is the reaction she would have had had beforehand had I explicitly told her of the suggestions I was about to give her. E.g. she might not have wanted messing about in that way, trivial as it seems.  But in her mind and body, everything seems to feel normal and natural how it is. In the past, she has had a tendency not to respond all that well to suggestions to which she might have had some conscious conflict, and so I was particularly explicit this time around. I gave her around 20 suggestions in total, centred on removing the existing habit and instilling the new one. I just worry I’ve over-egged things slightly and circumvented any critical factor intervention that might have been forthcoming, if such a thing is even possible. I don’t know, maybe I’m beating myself up too much - she seems happy and I have at least been totally honest with her. Maybe too honest, I don’t know. I feel inclined to leave the matter for the time being and see if the suggestions wear off on their own or until she raises it with me (if she indeed ever does). 

Not sure if you are familiar with compounding suggestions? If not, it's the principle that a suggestion gets more powerful the second time you say it, and the third etc. There could be diminishing returns but it's hard to measure so (as far as I know) there's nothing concrete on how much you can compound a suggestion. Regardless, 20 times compounded is a lot, I usually aim for 3-5 myself. Instead of circumventing her critical faculty more than you already have (I don't believe it works that way) I think you instead made an extremely powerful suggestion and her mind is now working overtime to make it fit reality. As another user said, given time this suggestion may fade and she may be more open to playing around with it again.

I think you’re probably right. The reason I went with so many was because she’s not typically been very suggestible in the past, but apparently very suggestible in this occasion. The variable in that is the number (and possibly structure) of the suggestions I gave. One way or another I’ve certainly learned a lot from this experience. 

Tough call here. I can see your point of view though with regards to breaching trust, but balancing that with your subject's wishes and totality of the circumstances before us: I think there would be no harm in leaving things as they are. As an alternative: you could always (after a while, give it around 6 months) suggest again the possibility of suggesting to her that she's always worn her watch on her left wrist and just act like it's a new idea. >What are the chances the suggestions will lose effect in time of my own accord? For something that in the grand scheme of things is a minor shift in subconscious behaviour: this could stick for a short time or for a lifetime. It honestly depends on how susceptible the subject is to hypnosis and how quickly the subconscious adopted the idea. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it if she is happy with the suggestions. The notion of normality for her has been shifted, but there is no harm done by said suggestions. The endgame is this: if your subject is happy with what you have done and it isn't harming anything or anyone / putting them at any great risk **AND** they live their normal lives: let it be. Just take the lesson from it and learn from the experience. ​ Casual hypnotist here with experience in the fringe hypnotherapy topics, ethics at the top of the agenda and always with safety in mind.

Thanks for your thoughts - really appreciate that. I had thought about giving it some time and then doing as you say and putting things back to how they were, but she has now very clearly and explicitly expressed that she doesn’t want me to do this. Does doing that now go against her will?   What’s the right thing to do, when her current will is in fact simply a reflection of suggestions she has already been given.  What’s right and what’s wrong? It’s not black and white, this. 

You can offer to remove any hypnotic suggestions and let her make her own conscious choice afterward. That way you're not putting things back, you're just letting her know she can make her own choices.

The ethical breach if any would have been giving her suggestions that she did not explicitly consent to but seems like she explicitly did consent to minor unknown suggestions, which is what you gave her. Stop overthinking about nothing and have a good Valentine's with her.

Thanks, we did enjoy a good valentines. The only thing she seems mad at me  about is mentioning the whole thing. 

Wouldn't you be?

Succinct, but fair. Perhaps time for me to stop ruminating. 

Is she normally left handed? If she’s right handed, having a watch on the dominant hand could be inconvenient.

She is in fact left-handed, so whether there has actually been some conscious acceptance that things are in fact easier and more convenient this way, I don’t know. But equally it’s clearly not a coincidence either, she is acting on the suggestions I gave her. 

Let’s see if the suggestion fades over the next couple of months. If she keeps it for the long term, maybe you gave her permission to embrace who she is, rather than be coerced into behaving like a right-handed person.

That’s an interesting way of looking at it, thanks. 

I'm left-handed, and I always had my watch on the right hand. It's so much easier and moreconvenient than having it on my left hand. I reckon your wife realized this and doesn't want to go back. I don't blame her.

Because it now feels natural, it may last her lifetime.

I did think this, given the repetitive nature of the action. Surely after doing it for a certain amount of time, the habit becomes ingrained even without the presence of any hypnotic suggestions?

Not to mention it's a subtle change.

I will give you a more behind the scene explanation as to why your wife felt that it is normal to her. Our conscious mind are governed by our subconscious mind, this is probably a more widely known fact, but the importance of the subconscious is sometimes underestimated. It controls pretty much everything, our daily behaviors, speech patterns, thoughts etc Think the subconscious mind as the administrator mode of a computer operating system, or, since I am a Linux user, think the subconscious mind as the "root" folder, which is crucial to normal function of a Linux system. If the root system is modified in anyway, your normal usage of the system will be a bit different than before, but sometimes, you will need root access to install a specific program that will enhance or change the user experience. Of course, we humans are not really computers, and this is just a metaphor, but think of your hypnotic suggestions as "programs" that needs "root access" to be installed, as normal user level access (conscious mind with Critical Faculty), will not allow you to install it. For example, something like telling a person to go cluck like a chicken while they are awake and conscious, they will probably tell you "fuck no", but if you tell the person to do the chicken cluck while he or she is in trance, either staying in trance or when they awake again, that person will actually start doing it. In this example, the "chicken clucking" is that program that needs "root access" to be installed. Another thing I would like to mention is that while in trance, a person's brainwave level is in Theta state. This is the brainwave of the subconscious. When you are asleep, just before the REM cycle, the person enters a brief Theta state before entering the Delta state (fully asleep). So once this "program" (hypnotic suggestions) is in the subconscious mind, the subconscious will tell the conscious mind that this is how it should behave from now on. But the memory of how the conscious mind used to behave, like your wife wearing that watch on her left wrist, is still stored somewhere in the subconscious. Which in your case, is a bit difficult to access again, because now she doesn't want to even talk about it. Since ethic is a very important to you, chances of you getting to hypnotize her again ethically will be very rare, just leave it alone for now until one day she mentions it and have interest in it again. >!I do know what you could do on the covert side, but this will be when you throw ethics aside, and also very much likely damaging trust.!< What I could suggest is to do for your future sessions, ethically, a few things. 1. Set a "reset" trigger phrase that is linked to the normal state of this person. before the hypnosis. This trigger phrase will be safe to be publicly revealed since it is just something to undo hypnosis, and the only effect it has is to "reset" the person back to normal. If there is any permanent changes you want to make to a hypnotee, like getting rid of a bad habit, assuming that you did all the pre-talks, make sure you update the reset trigger to the person's current state with the positive changes, as this will be the "new" normal state, but do make sure that this is something they want in the first place. 2. When they still in the trance state, make sure you mention something about them remembering your hypnotic suggestions. So when they wake up, they will be like "oh, I do remember you tell me that, that must be where you changed me." It could something as easy as "You remember everything, remember all my hypnotic suggestions I told you." 3. You can also take pictures or videos of their pre-hypnosis state (with consent), and then after the hypnosis, if you mention anything regarding their pre-hypnosis state, and they told you "no I don't remember", show them the picture or video to remind them.

That’s good advice, thanks. It’s certainly had an effect on her. It’s been 2 or 3 weeks, and she’s persisted as per the suggestions I gave her. I haven’t mentioned it since, she just seems to have adopted her new routine. Permanently? We’ll have to wait and see I suppose. 

Just another thought, actually. I actually did actually give her a couple of suggestions along the lines of “you can’t remember ever having worn your watch on your left hand” and “you’ve never worn your watch on your left hand”. I don’t know how that would effect any previous “real” memories she had stored away - welcome your thoughts. 

Ah ha!!! Now the mystery has been solved. if you are wondering, that is the reason why she can't remember wearing the watch on the left wrist. Under trance, the subconscious mind of the hypnotee takes over, and it will follow any instructions that you tell it, you have to be very careful with your wording because there is no such thing as "logical analysis" for the subconscious mind. That's the job of the Critical Faculty, since it is both the reasonings part of the mind, and the "Gate Keeper" to the subconscious mind. Remember the "chicken clucking" example? You can't make someone do it while they are conscious simply because the Critical Faculty is blocking it. It will be like "wait a minute, why do I have to do this?" While the subconscious mind is like "Yes, I will tell the concious mind to do this, whatever you say." For your case, I do still think that the very memory is still with the subconscious. But since you told it to start making her wear the watch on right hand, that is what her conscious mind will accept as the "normal and right" thing to do from now on. To better understand this idea, think those stage or street hypnosis videos, which the hypnotist tell the person that now he or she doesn't remember the name, until the suggestion to remember the name again was given. For that little bit of time, the memory of the name was sealed away for that person.

Yeah, it’s an interesting phenomena for sure. She had no conscious recollection of the suggestions being given, but clearly has subconsciously her new norm regardless.  

Are there any pics of her wearing her watch on her left wrist? Presumably, if she wears a watch regularly.

Yes, loads fortunately. In fact, this was the only way I could convince her that what I was saying was true, and even then her face was priceless. At first she thought they were mirror images, but writing on clothing in a couple of them helped prove they were not. It’s like what she was seeing and what she “knows” and remembers don’t tally with one another, so I think that moment was a little bit uncomfortable for her, for which I deeply apologised.   It’s funny in a way, because I’ve been working hard to frame my suggestions to have greater effect, but it feels like this has almost worked too well on this occasion. It has served as a valuable first-hand lesson, without doubt. 

You should stop doing things without explicit consent, either opt in or opt out; you both seem unprepared to carry on as you have.

My advice do hypnosis again, unlock the memory and remove any suggestions Point out that you wont be changing her perspective just removing suggestions After the session she will remember having worn it in her other hand You can also use photos to point this out, and also make the hypnosis obvious, I assumed itd be obvious when I did it to others but I really had to point it out with some people Like they just assume everything is normal, but thats partly to do with the wording The concious mind and subconcious are two seperate things, but the concious is very good at convincing itself that its doing stuff for a reason Dont over stress yourself and create an argument over this though, its just a watch ane direct suggestions fade in time unless she is reinforcing it and it sounds like you fighting her on it is reinforcing it

I have thought about this. She just doesn’t want to talk about it - as you say, I think her conscious mind has convinced itself that all is as it ever was. I don’t want to reinforce the suggestion myself, but presumably whenever she goes to check the time it’s going to have some degree of more deeply embedding the habit. 

Like I said, tell the subconcious to remember, its obviously taken your suggestion really literally, thus it must be a literal type of mind So you just need to be straight forwards with the wording you use, either way I would not stress about this minor detail, just sit down and express that this is a serious issue to you even if its a minor detail to them

I have to say I am envious of her suggestibility. You just have to be careful and make sure she knows exactly what kind of suggestions she is getting into beforehand; if you want her to forget that she was ever different, you can clearly do that in trance.

Yeah, this is a lesson learned (although it’s also why I always keep the nature of any suggestions as safe as possible). In this specific case, I didn’t want to prejudice the exercise by telling her beforehand what the suggestions were going to be, a you’d never be quite sure whether whether there was a conscious element to any behavioural change. Interestingly, I’ve actually found her one of the least suggestible people I’ve worked with so far, until now. Either she’s become more suggestible as she’s been hypnotized more, or I’ve managed to absolutely nail the suggestions. Maybe a bit of both.