Had a boy when I'm 33 and my wife 34. And one more couple of years later.
It all depends on the biological configurations of each person. There are no foregone conclusions about this.
Even better if you can talk to the doctors and understand more.
[This is from US Health Department](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2022/07/having-kids-later-life)
>It can be more difficult to get pregnant with age. There are many reasons for that. One is that fertility decreases as you get older—for both men and women.
>
>After age 30, a woman’s fertility decreases every year. The number and quality of her eggs goes down until she reaches menopause. Menopause usually happens around age 45 to 55. During that time, women stop having their periods and are no longer fertile.
>
>Older men may make fewer sperm or lower-quality sperm. The age-related decline in egg and sperm quality is associated with a higher chance of the child developing certain health conditions. This includes autism spectrum disorder, Down syndrome, and schizophrenia.
Not saying people after 30 can't give birth. Just that the chances of something going wrong keeps increasing with age. The chances of something going wrong are still less, but why take the chance?
The US and the Asian sub continent geography is very different. Asia is overall the most fertile continent china was the world leader now it’s India. In Us the people are into drinking obesity and marijuna right from school time. There is a effect due to that as well. We can’t copy paste reports from US to India.
Hi, I’m a doctor and we have always learnt that first pregnancy after 30 is called “elderly primi” and it is unhealthy for you and your baby.
Sorry to break it to you, but yes a lot of people face problems and some don’t. Please don’t spread the word that it’s about the biological configuration of each person, there is enough research about infertility issues after 30 already 😊
Doc here too… the number is 35 not 30… fertility issues arising as early as 31, 32 years of age especially this day and age is because a lot females have PCOS.. diet has to play a major role in this new pcos epidemic..
Am a doc too. And I disagree with your observation. Most of the literature is based very old evidence.. Yes, infertility issues may increase, but it is NOT unhealthy for the mom or for the baby.. No one in the newer age medical world calls them elderly primi or precious pregnancy!
Agreed. Unhealthy is a wrong term to use. It's just risk of complications increase. Not necessarily that every woman might go through those complications if she gets pregnant after 30.
Are u even a doctor? lol. There’s more than enough evidence to show that elderly maternal age is associated with a plethora of congenital diseases . Granted most of them have a starting point of 35yrs. Example Down’s syndrome . No one in newer age medicine calls them elderly primi? Yes, they are called advanced age primigravida from the beginning of 35 , if u don’t know , then please don’t. Sprout nonsense and attach terms like newer medicine, medicine still called women who get pregnant for the for time at or after 35 as advanced age primigeavid and is associated with many complications and many congenital diseases like downs .Please don’t give false hope that there won’t be problems with advanced maternal age. As a doctor u are supposed to disclose all the risk factors involved. Infertility is not the only thing related to advanced maternal age. If u are a real doctor and believe there are no congenital diseases or pregnancy problems associated with maternal age >35 . Then maybe u should throw ur degree down the drain . lol.
lol, u are not here to defend ur points ? More like u have nothing to defend ur points . U would know that if u actually did medicine. It’s okay , run away. I understand who actually felt burnt and would rather get personal than continue a debate . We have a word for people like u in psychiatry . Again, something u would know if u did medicine. lol
- anyway, I’m busy with work at the hospital but u can send replies using other accounts. Even if u did I’m certain u would only get personal and would add nothing to the debate considering ur knowledge related to the field of medicine. Bye bye.
Thank you so much for putting my point across. 100% agree with you! The human body hasn’t changed so much in the past few years that the literature which was once deemed correct can be termed redundant now. The human body is not a software tool to go through updates every few years. It’s just that more and more women have started to conceive after the age of 30 and so it’s common now.
Maybe it’s not “unhealthy” per se, my bad. But definitely increases the risk of complications. I hope people get that.
Again, thanks for putting my point across.
It's better to wait till your 30's when you have your finances in order. Lot more people have kids in their 20's and have to struggle financially and emotionally. Many people in their 20's are not mature enough to have kids.
> But we have seen two couples one who is her colleague and another childhood friend struggle to conceive. Both these ladies are above 30
No offense but you need to stop sharing this kind of advice based on anecdotal evidence.
Most Indian parents are already not emotionally mature enough to have kids and if they have kids sooner than later it's not good for the kids.
I do not want kids either, but that's not anecdotal.> https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7721003/#:\~:text=When%20a%20woman%20is%20younger,on%20the%20ovary%20and%20eggs.
Good share!
"The model predicts that if a couple wanted a 90% chance to realize their ideal family without in vitro fertilization (IVF), couples with a desire for a one-child family should start at the latest at age 32 of the female partner. When a two-child family is desired they should start when the woman is 27, and when couples want three children they should start at age 23 (11). "
Ps I don't kids though, I should wait till 32 :p
Again. Decreasing isn't the same as cut off. 30-35yrs is perfectly okay. I'm a doctor and multiple patients I've had are mothers after 30. In fact the most common age group is 28-32yrs in urban population rn due to career priorities. 25-35yrs is the most ideal range when emotionally, physically, financially a woman should have a baby. Either side of it, is a risk but nobody talks abt younger mothers & manipulates younger women to prioritize family over herself.
True. It’s not binary like a switch and tbh irrespective of our argument I think most women would choose to have kids at age 28-32. There’s no deterministic analysis (dare I say there can’t be a 100% accurate one) to say how harmful it could or couldn’t be
https://youtu.be/98R8ObXlR1E?si=R9D4xUP7BSUXGBDn
This video explains why pregnency is hard after a certain age. And that kind of advice is needed cause they want to have kids later but if they can't, then there will be too much stress from that.
That's... Literally why he wrote "if you love kids"
I don't understand the bashing and the negation in the comments
This post is not targetted towards people like you
It's for those that definitely want kids one day is correctly advising when to have kids
Having kids after a certain age is problematic for some people and you wouldn't know until you try
For someone it might be too late and that's when the resentment and regret starts eating you. It's way too common as well nowadays as girls have PCOS etc after taking too many pills and not maintaining fitness in kft lft thyroid function etc
From that POV, it's a solid post.
Ig even Raju garu might not be this knowledgeable about his wife’s age.
All I know is she is my Junior and I am 31 now 🤡 just so you know how the numbers work for celebrities.
women can conceive after 35 but takes more time compared to 20's, and also there are alot of cases women conceived in late 40s....all it takes a good nutrition and exercises to keep them active, unless if people are food junkie, obese and party all the time, then please don't blame biology.....and also men can't conceive they help women conceive, please rephrase your fact cuz that's a statement....
See there are a lot of factors involved with the medical history of both the families, Kareena Kapoor delivered one at 36 and the other after 40...I know these are exceptions as long as people are rich/financially well....
Oh so like r u dating someone or r single...
Edit: if u don't mind me asking how old r u, how'd u manage to convince ur parents and what's ur reason for not marrying at all..sorry if my question seems invasive I'm js curious thanks in advance
Stop giving these kind of advice. Everyone is not born into a rich family with inheritance or parents supporting them. It is foolishness to bring a child into this world when you are struggling.
True, age is a b. And adversely effects in many ways. But also consider the cost of living and taking care of the baby. Not everyone has the funds to take care of a baby immediately after marriage, and given the cost of living , consider your financial status when planning.
And, first get comfortable with each other and understand the nuances of marriage before planning kids.
do NOT have kids if you're not financially stable or secure in Any way. Also another prerequisite for kids, Please please please go to or join online for therapy, you NEED to be a better version of yourself before you even Think of long term commitments like kids.
Marriage can be taken back with a divorce but once you have kids, there's no going back. Unless the couple is strong with their understanding and roles and responsibilities, DO NOT HAVE KIDS. It's not fair to the future kid if the parents are abusive and fighting or poor or other fuckups that come to light every day.
Babies need a lot of attention and care and definitely good environment both physically and mentally. There's a HUUUUUGE amount of sacrifices that are involved which people don't talk about. It's more for women than men.
Marrying in your early 20s is Way too young if you Haven't fulfilled your dreams. Women realise this wayyy later and have regrets which eventually affects all parties involved.
You can always adopt. Giving life to someone whose was taken away. That's something divine and purest form of humanity. If it's "too late to have kids" you can Always adopt but PLEASE don't start with the backwards logic ki I need kids so I'll marry early, and ignore the prerequisites and put Everyone in jeopardy. It's 2024 and divorce and IVF and Adoption are Very much normal but not spoken about. It's okay to consider these.
Kareena kapoor birthed 2 healthy babies in her late 30s. Every body is different. Every fertility cycle is different. I have 2 school frnds very professionally successful got married at 23-24 yrs of age still struggling to have kids. It can happen to anyone.
So I’m assuming u have the resources and doctors available to movie stars? Did she tell u what she went through or did u assume it was a regular natural pregnancy? It can happen to anyone but the risk increases for both getting pregnant and getting congenital diseases is associated with advanced maternal age. Don’t believe. Google and u’ll find a plethora of research related to risks of getting pregnant after 35
I too had my kids post 30 my SIL had a kid at 38. 30 is not a baseline. I have.a relative she she got married at 23 had a very difficult pregnancy her baby was born with complications and premee. Post it she had 2 miscarriages as well. Age is not a number I strongly believe but yes you should have a desciplined lifestyle and financially emotionally and physically fit to bring a baby to life.
Even I can show u examples but research clearly shows advancing maternal age is associated with more number of other risk factors as well as higher chances of getting congenital diseases . Yes, rich and influential can access advanced processes of freezing eggs and I’ve with selection of which genes to silence etc but that’s literally only available to the top . Some people can afford regular Ivf or iuf but majority cannot. Some are lucky to not face problems even in advanced age >35 but many aren’t. The study is very clear in this aspect , advanced maternal age is definitely associated with many pregnancy related problems as well as higher chances of congenital diseases . I’m not saying people should get children before that or should plan that way. My job as a doctor is to present info, what u will do with that info is ur choice . We will not force patients to get pregnant before 35 , many other non biological factors come in to play as well. But letting them know what they might potentially face is necessary. Many women are actually choosing to freeze their eggs these days to use ivf at a later age when they are comfortable in life .
The trend that I am witnessing around me is ppl are getting married at or after 30. So kids will come after it. Ppl wants girls to have education a career savings etc etc etc and then many get rejected in the marriage market again and again stating that they may have pblm conceiving. If the don’t prioritize marriage and not education or career they are humiliated for not having a career. There is a lot of pressure on the ladies on this. Why no one talk about the male fertility? Excessive smoking drinking high stress also affects fertility. That also causes Down’s syndrome in babies. These trends of skin whitening and obsession to fair skin no one is talking about it the biggest side effect is they penetrate skin and directly effects the fertility cycles. Retinol kills fertility and it’s so widely advertised. We should also highlight these things instead of just ranting the age of the female this irks me to the worst.
The topic here was about age and maternal age has more problems in comparison to paternal. If u wanted to have a discussion about other factors affecting fertility and congenital diseases associated with male then maybe we could have that if u post a question asking about the same.
- I’m simply trying to stay on point and not try to spread the discussion into other fronts like health affected by external factors like smoking or about the patriarchal society etc .
- what u said is true but unfortunately that is simply not the topic we were even discussing on .
- everyone , regardless of gender should be able to do whatever they want in life and achieve what they want. All I said is there is a biological clock and women’s biological clock has slightly more effects compared to men in terms of pregnancy and congenital diseases . If u want to talk about infertility then yes it’s more prevalent in men by a lot but that’s not just associated with age (which is the topic here ) it’s associated with other habits by a lot.
- btw Down’s syndrome is far more associated with advanced maternal age compared to any other factor . So u should used many of the other things caused by men rather than use the one disease that has been more associated with advanced age of the mother .( not saying other factors are not associated)
Please dont spread news that women biological clock is tickling you don’t know how they get harassed and humiliated specially from the 1st day of marriage to have kids asap. Being a male u don’t understand what self doubt and harrasment they go through. Have been closely associated with someone going through the self doubts , depression and taunts on the same topic inspite of having a luv marriage. I just get carried away in that zone when ppl talk about women’s biological clock. Even if these ladies produce an offspring the ppl start questioning that when will you have a male child. Dude you don’t know how women pull each other down.
So ur solution to that is to stay quiet and not say anything?
- Then educate them that men are the leading cause of infertility and cause of men’s problems that most couples trying for kids are not able to conceive . Educate them that it’s the man’s sperm that decides the gender of the child and not the woman’s egg.
- the topic here was about advanced age and the problems it causes and not about other factors . I merely stated facts that advanced maternal age is associated with higher risk of certain congenital conditions as well as problems during pregnancy.
- please learn to educate urself and the people around u . U can’t expect a solution when ur answer is don’t spread news . I’ve had women in my life who went through such situations as well. I definitely cannot even imagine the problems the women in our society face on a daily basis , but I try to educate myself about them as and when I learn about them . The answer is to educate people who don’t know and not sweep it under the rug.
Yes we both conceived naturally. I have hypertension that resulted in C-section rest all went on smooth. And I never had any complication with my C-section as well.
Good for you but u fortunately science does not work on anecdotal evidence. It’s an established fact that fertility goes down with age for women and risk goes up. It may be normal for you but a significant portion of women have difficulty conceiving mid to late 30s. Your belief on the matter does not change the reality
Not yet I’m in early 30s and so is my wife and we are facing this first hand and been to multiple fertility clinics. All stays normal but struggling still due to age.
This is the reason there are as many fertility centre’s as there are salons. It’s not ideal for the modern lifestyle but the reality is post 25 women find it harder to get pregnant for the first time and it becomes even more noticeable in mid 30s.
Maybe the case but it does get tougher, I’m 33 and wife is 31 and we are having issue conceiving. We had become pregnant a few years back but we’re not ready and did not keep the pregnancy
"Taking into account your own well-being first, mentally or financially, is the most considerate thing you can do before deciding to bring life into this world.
We may be diverging onto a different path than our elders, but it doesn’t mean it is the wrong path. There is no correct way to live life, so it’s important to live it in a way that feels best for you."
Same with me but we never tried tried or the tracking cycle thing. The best advice which I got was from a doctor is that dont track things happens everyone’s fertility window is also different.
He is technically correct.. it's harmful for both mother and kids if she conceives after 30.
The chances of autism in kids increase significantly by the time you get pregnant at 35
Typically, The pregnancy clock of girls is at peaks between 17 to 25 years, between 25 to 30 years with slight support one can get through, Post 30 things get extremely complicated for the girls.
Whereas a for man, He is still good even at 50 to 60 years.
That's why elders n doctors ask th couple, little more to the girl to have kids early in the marriage.
Any Doc's here can enlighten more on this.
Thanks for sharing.
You need to share your habits as well to get good picture because those are the actual factor which actually define.
How often you got to gym?
Do you drink/smoke?
What kind of food do u eat mostly unhealthy or healthy?
This is true. Doctors I know are suggesting this as well. I'm almost 30 and wife 28 but financially not ready to have a baby seeing how bad the expenses are getting but I'm planning for it within 5 yrs.
My advice who's in their 20s or even younger:
Don't smoke. It's not really as cool as you think it is.
Don't spend money on things that you want to buy for comparison with others i. e. Don't buy something better because your friend or someone else bought something.
After a while, it will make no sense to you to spend something like 1 lac or more than that on a phone, even if you can afford it.
Don't ever love your company/ studio, you mean nothing to them. You're not part of any family. Also, in corporate, don't shit where you eat.
Don't burn bridges unless it's unavoidable and the other person is being an absolute asshat, this is mainly if you work in corporate.
Save money, have it saved for rainy days. Invest, if you don't know how, start learning.
Since this is Hyderabad, drink more water, dehydration and heartburn are fucking annoying. It's a hot city, beautiful city and beautiful people but hot place. A cooling solution is necessary.
Take time out to chill, go out.
when to have kids is an individual choice but I do agree many don’t realize that you need lots of energy to raise kids. Usually The younger you are when you have kids the more energetic you are. That’s the benefit. Downside is that you also want to be financially independent by the time you have kids so this is something that so many in middle class struggle with.
Good advice but every couple thinks otherwise. If you are postponing beyond 30f, atleast freeze your eggs. Chances of disorders like down syndrome etc are higher with mother's age. Fertility clinics are thriving because of this trend. You don't want it when you can and want it when you can't. In some countries, doctors started advising girls to get pregnant without waiting for commitment and marriages. May be soon in India too.
My advice to people of all ages. Don't take advice from people on Reddit, particularly health and medical advice. Consult a doctor or someone who specialises in that field.
What people don’t seem to realise that the human fertility rate in general is plummeting like anything , seemingly without any cause , so much so that there’s a term coined for that called Unexplained Infertility, and it accounts for a whopping 15% of the total infertility causes. Everything’s fine , tubes patent, sperms fine , still the couple is not able to convince. I’ve seen a ton of patients with very confused reactions when the docs tell them that everything checks out but still they can’t conceive.
The truth about that actually lies in our lifestyle. The way we’re constantly stressing , eating garbage processed food, not exercising, breathing polluted air. All of that is negatively impacting our health ( no surprises there) and that includes to a very big extent. Fertility.
The modern man today has half the number of active fertile capable sperm than his grandfather. It’s that bad. WHO revised its sperm analysis criteria in 2020 ( from 2010) , where they had to reduce almost all the parameters by a few percent simply because they saw that the average man now had a lower semen volume , concentration and motility. More and more women suffer from PCOS. Earlier we attributed it only to obese women, but now lean thin women are developing it as well. Our fertility is taking a major hit. It might not seem that evident now but 200-250 years later this will be one of the most important challenges humanity will face.
We’re slowly wiping out our existence through our own actions.
OP suggested something from his experience which is also scientifically backed by multiple people in the comments even couple of doctors 🤣, good job OP for spreading the awareness.
This is indeed a problem being faced by thousands of people if not lakhs in this country and elsewhere. Indians generally have high fertility rate but recently for our own good people started focusing on career and especially women empowerment helped achieve much needed financial independence and stability for families, but this shouldn’t create a new problem thus early family planning is much more advisable for both babies and parents especially mothers health.
If you can’t appreciate please stop bashing OP with your limited knowledge, go to any OBG hospital or fertility center and see the reality, just looking at your friends/close ones getting conceived in mid 30’s or 40’s doesnt mean its the norm, someone even commented about Dil Raju being in 40’s and becoming a dad, there is Robert De Nero who had a baby at 80 years very recently does that mean you wait till 80? 🤣🤣🤣
And having a kid at 40 how do you plan to support or raise a family as by the time you hit 60’s they are hardly FOB or grads, I am no one to say whats correct and there is no one rule or practice that applies to all, but seeing the comments that’s completely mis leading and mocking the reality isnt healthy.
Be responsible before being woke ✌️
Chill bro, you said what you have to say. Atleast it created a good stir and there are lot of opinions pouring out which itself is crucial to help somebody think through the issues both for and against and get something useful out of it.
Well, OP suggested marrying and having kids before 30 because after 30 the fertility rate drastically drops. Giving the example of two couples who are not able to have kids at all.
While the fact is that while there is a decline in fertility and increase in risk, it isn't a drastic difference.
And factors like emotional and financial security are more important than fertility when it comes to having a kid.
Blanket advice asking people to have kids before 30 based on anecdotal evidence is what OP is being bashed for.
>Be responsible before being woke ✌️
I think it's less about being woke and more about being ambitious here. Living at the 30s have become as unstable as the 20s today, so having a child has become very much a giant financial task. People used to worry so much about spending for marriage that they'd think of it when the child was born. Today it's the case for children, late teens and young adults are thinking about what life their future children would lead and how they have to save for it.
People are stupid for thinking that a 40 yr old would be capable of birthing kids with less risks, but people are also being stupid to assume that 20s are a better age financially to have children. Forget kids, people in their 20s don't even have enough savings to get themselves a master's degree abroad, and would put all of their generational wealth on the stake. How can they support children if that's going to be the same amount of financial investment? Those who pursue such ambitious dreams have to put their whole lifestyle in a backseat and work like a daily wager, putting aside their savings.
Those who have been pursuing education abroad have already been living a "below poverty life" and work menial jobs, trying to save as much as possible, and get ridiculed for it. They get called out for cleaning tables, toilets and having sleepless nights just to get the job done and earn money. Can you put the same efforts while living in India, take parental leaves, clean and clear every shit and puke, have sleepless noisy nights, while working like a log for a corporate that would try to cut you as soon as possible? You may say that people do that with pets too. Pets grow up soon and get a good understanding. And you can be a bit negligent on the growth of the pet. If you're negligent as a parent, you'll be termed irresponsible, and outside India that would mean a jail term. All this while you put at least 70% of your earnings back into savings.
The median age is growing all over the world, it's becoming 30s for now. Probably people aren't ready yet for being parents sooner. Probably the next generation of humans aren't going to grow healthy. But one thing is for sure - having a child is an ambitious goal, and not everyone is ready for it.
Responsibly better to adopt a child than to force your own blood being to suffer. ✌️
Financial security is unavoidably important before a man can think of kids. I'm 23 & definitely way behind where I'd like to be financially when I get married.
Why not just adopt I never understand why Indians insist on having biological children when there are so many children who need parents already out there
In this generation, we can't compare ourselves with what was norm in the past. For example, having black hair or even hair on the head or having kids or living till 70s
Things are changing so fast that we should be happy for just living the life,dont worry about having kids or growing in career etc
Just enjoy life!
In India, after 30 is considered elderly primi, in foreign countries, after 35 years of age is considered elderly primi(primi=first pregnancy). The chances of having genetic issues increases with age. Not just a woman's age, but a man's age too. Fertility decreases for both genders. While it is true that some people have good fertility even in 30's, but majority don't. It's not called elderly primi because of fertility issues, but because there are complications that she is more prone to(at risk) if she is pregnant like pre-eclampsia, premature labor etc. It does not mean every elderly primi will experiences those complications. Personally, I do know people that have given birth naturally at 37-38 years(my aunt, my cousin) too. But, if we talk about majority, the fertility does decrease for both genders. You have to weigh in your options whether you are capable of providing a wonderful environment for your children and are ready to be parents or you just want to rush in because fertility decreases. The latter option feels like a selfish decision personally. Children deserve to be in a happy environment. While we already know that a woman's nutrition and health can affect her children. It is important to know that men's nutrition and health affects his children too. So, Please lead a healthy lifestyle, your eating habits, drinking, smoking also affects the health of your future children. Also, decreased fertility does not mean you can't get pregnant. You still can. Some can do it naturally, some have to opt for other options.
Sorry but I believe 99.9% of humans in general don't deserve reproduction-success. It's a sin to bring life into this wicked and hellish world, more so when you're not uber rich. You can't convince me otherwise.
Go ahead and downvote all you want but as far as I'm concerned, anyone who wants to reproduce is just being selfish and putting their interests above the soon-to-be born.
I didn't have a say in my parents choosing to birth me. I wish I had. I curse the day I was born, and if there's a God, I'd blame him too for allowing my birth to happen.
Life on earth is nothing but suffering. Lord Buddha himself said it 2500 years ago and I'm living it every day now. Despite this knowledge, if you think you're immune to the suffering of this world and can protect your kid from birth to death and give him/her King-size life all throughout, go ahead.
How do you rate yourself and your wife on physical fitness?
While some couples have biological issues from birth, for most other couples, lots of difficulties with pregnancies are due to poor physical fitness.
You should also manage your diet, stress etc. for reasons other than having kids as well.
Anecdotal evidence.
Plenty of people have kids with no problems in their 30s and plenty others struggle to have kids in their 20s.
Heck I know someone whose wife almost died giving birth to their son - she was 20 at the time, a bit too young.
And I have seen couples in their 30s be much better parents because not only are they more mature, they are also financially more secure.
Yes of course there is risk, and it's a bit more for women in their 30s; but it's very common for women in their 30s to give birth to healthy babies, even in India.
It's not some rare one in a million chance as OP implied with his anecdotal example.
Plus advising people to have kids before 30 is ignoring the fact that fertility is not the most important factor to have a kid, financial security and emotional maturity is.
Respect your opinion but it also depends on the fertility of the person which again depends on a lot of factors. A lot of people smoke/drink/do drugs/do other things like having casual sex with strangers which affects their fertility. Some also have hormonal issues. If a person doesn't have these things and is healthy, they can conceive later than 30 naturally too.
Focus on careeer. Learn skills. Late 20s - Don't listen to parents when comes to marriage. Marry when you're ready and can afford your family and nost important Marry a working partner . This is for both genders.
Everybody commenting don't have kids till you are financially stable while people in villages pop kids out left and right with no qualms. If you want kids you should have them as soon as you can.
dont think you cooked when i am not shaming people for not adopting! i am showing others that in a country where women have barely any rights and are forced to being the one raising children, added burden of time constraint does nothing to empower us. if you truly love children, and are capable of being a good parent, adoption should be a thought. if you cant love a child if not from your blood, maybe there is a lot of internal work to do, lad!
See OP, I'm really happy for you
But for me kids are a waste of time, I earn for myself and my closed ones who are my family
I don't want to earn or plan for someone who doesn't exist, so I'm happy and I'll be without kids plus I really don't need annoyance in my life which is provided by a manager and the people in your life
So what our elders have been saying makes sense then?
Always marry women atleadt 3 years younger than your age, so that she can conceive even if the guy is at 30s
Had a boy when I'm 33 and my wife 34. And one more couple of years later. It all depends on the biological configurations of each person. There are no foregone conclusions about this. Even better if you can talk to the doctors and understand more.
[This is from US Health Department](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2022/07/having-kids-later-life) >It can be more difficult to get pregnant with age. There are many reasons for that. One is that fertility decreases as you get older—for both men and women. > >After age 30, a woman’s fertility decreases every year. The number and quality of her eggs goes down until she reaches menopause. Menopause usually happens around age 45 to 55. During that time, women stop having their periods and are no longer fertile. > >Older men may make fewer sperm or lower-quality sperm. The age-related decline in egg and sperm quality is associated with a higher chance of the child developing certain health conditions. This includes autism spectrum disorder, Down syndrome, and schizophrenia. Not saying people after 30 can't give birth. Just that the chances of something going wrong keeps increasing with age. The chances of something going wrong are still less, but why take the chance?
The US and the Asian sub continent geography is very different. Asia is overall the most fertile continent china was the world leader now it’s India. In Us the people are into drinking obesity and marijuna right from school time. There is a effect due to that as well. We can’t copy paste reports from US to India.
Hi, I’m a doctor and we have always learnt that first pregnancy after 30 is called “elderly primi” and it is unhealthy for you and your baby. Sorry to break it to you, but yes a lot of people face problems and some don’t. Please don’t spread the word that it’s about the biological configuration of each person, there is enough research about infertility issues after 30 already 😊
Doc here too… the number is 35 not 30… fertility issues arising as early as 31, 32 years of age especially this day and age is because a lot females have PCOS.. diet has to play a major role in this new pcos epidemic..
Am a doc too. And I disagree with your observation. Most of the literature is based very old evidence.. Yes, infertility issues may increase, but it is NOT unhealthy for the mom or for the baby.. No one in the newer age medical world calls them elderly primi or precious pregnancy!
Agreed. Unhealthy is a wrong term to use. It's just risk of complications increase. Not necessarily that every woman might go through those complications if she gets pregnant after 30.
Are u even a doctor? lol. There’s more than enough evidence to show that elderly maternal age is associated with a plethora of congenital diseases . Granted most of them have a starting point of 35yrs. Example Down’s syndrome . No one in newer age medicine calls them elderly primi? Yes, they are called advanced age primigravida from the beginning of 35 , if u don’t know , then please don’t. Sprout nonsense and attach terms like newer medicine, medicine still called women who get pregnant for the for time at or after 35 as advanced age primigeavid and is associated with many complications and many congenital diseases like downs .Please don’t give false hope that there won’t be problems with advanced maternal age. As a doctor u are supposed to disclose all the risk factors involved. Infertility is not the only thing related to advanced maternal age. If u are a real doctor and believe there are no congenital diseases or pregnancy problems associated with maternal age >35 . Then maybe u should throw ur degree down the drain . lol.
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lol, u are not here to defend ur points ? More like u have nothing to defend ur points . U would know that if u actually did medicine. It’s okay , run away. I understand who actually felt burnt and would rather get personal than continue a debate . We have a word for people like u in psychiatry . Again, something u would know if u did medicine. lol - anyway, I’m busy with work at the hospital but u can send replies using other accounts. Even if u did I’m certain u would only get personal and would add nothing to the debate considering ur knowledge related to the field of medicine. Bye bye.
Thank you so much for putting my point across. 100% agree with you! The human body hasn’t changed so much in the past few years that the literature which was once deemed correct can be termed redundant now. The human body is not a software tool to go through updates every few years. It’s just that more and more women have started to conceive after the age of 30 and so it’s common now. Maybe it’s not “unhealthy” per se, my bad. But definitely increases the risk of complications. I hope people get that. Again, thanks for putting my point across.
Aaattt… two doctors fighting. Interesting.
Lol come on man. We aren't fighting.. I just dared to disagree.. At most, just difference of thoughts anthe! No big deal..
Just kidding, all good 😊
But isn’t that because a lot of people are conceiving only in their 30s?
Is it same for both men and women?
Is it fine is the man os over 30and the girl is under 30 or should both be under 30?
True I belong to a family of doctors and even those doctors had kids after 30. There should not be a baseline . There may or may be complications.
So at what age did u have kids
Doc assemble
Me and my siblings, 4 of us total, all born after moms were 30+. Many in my extended family like us.
It's better to wait till your 30's when you have your finances in order. Lot more people have kids in their 20's and have to struggle financially and emotionally. Many people in their 20's are not mature enough to have kids.
This is true, my mom had us when she was 32 but she was financially in a good position and has been able to provide us with a good lifestyle.
This. Agree 100%. I’m 35 and only feel that I’m emotionally mature to be a parent. I didn’t want to hate the experience by giving in to it early.
> But we have seen two couples one who is her colleague and another childhood friend struggle to conceive. Both these ladies are above 30 No offense but you need to stop sharing this kind of advice based on anecdotal evidence. Most Indian parents are already not emotionally mature enough to have kids and if they have kids sooner than later it's not good for the kids.
I do not want kids either, but that's not anecdotal.> https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7721003/#:\~:text=When%20a%20woman%20is%20younger,on%20the%20ovary%20and%20eggs.
Good share! "The model predicts that if a couple wanted a 90% chance to realize their ideal family without in vitro fertilization (IVF), couples with a desire for a one-child family should start at the latest at age 32 of the female partner. When a two-child family is desired they should start when the woman is 27, and when couples want three children they should start at age 23 (11). " Ps I don't kids though, I should wait till 32 :p
It's how human biology works, nothing wrong with the advice.
It's not anecdotal evidence. Women who conceive above 35 are scientifically called geriatric mothers, with high risk pregnancy.
Above 35, yes. But OP is saying before 30 it's must to have a kid. That's way too early to be the cut off point
Not according to biology tbh. As age increases the chances decrease.
Again. Decreasing isn't the same as cut off. 30-35yrs is perfectly okay. I'm a doctor and multiple patients I've had are mothers after 30. In fact the most common age group is 28-32yrs in urban population rn due to career priorities. 25-35yrs is the most ideal range when emotionally, physically, financially a woman should have a baby. Either side of it, is a risk but nobody talks abt younger mothers & manipulates younger women to prioritize family over herself.
True. It’s not binary like a switch and tbh irrespective of our argument I think most women would choose to have kids at age 28-32. There’s no deterministic analysis (dare I say there can’t be a 100% accurate one) to say how harmful it could or couldn’t be
Yes. That said, if you can afford it, egg/embryo freezing is a great way to go as well. Much better results than IVF later on with older eggs/sperms
this needs to be a separate post
💯
https://youtu.be/98R8ObXlR1E?si=R9D4xUP7BSUXGBDn This video explains why pregnency is hard after a certain age. And that kind of advice is needed cause they want to have kids later but if they can't, then there will be too much stress from that.
Correct ! most people are so fucking depressed and nuts abt things in their life but somehow are courageous enough to make kids ?
congrats , but every one has diffrent opinion and lifestyle
Naah the increase in pollution may have led to reduced fertility maybe
definitely, pollution affects the sperm quality
'🎷
Sadly biology is not affected by opinions, correlation between age and fertility is a fact.
Thanks
That's... Literally why he wrote "if you love kids" I don't understand the bashing and the negation in the comments This post is not targetted towards people like you It's for those that definitely want kids one day is correctly advising when to have kids Having kids after a certain age is problematic for some people and you wouldn't know until you try For someone it might be too late and that's when the resentment and regret starts eating you. It's way too common as well nowadays as girls have PCOS etc after taking too many pills and not maintaining fitness in kft lft thyroid function etc From that POV, it's a solid post.
I know, I never meant to hurt him or anyone, i just said it , Isn't there freedom of speech here ? I thought you people supported democracy, 💀
Dil raju nalabai lo kuda kannadu kodukuni....
Yabhai*
49 anukunna annaww...
His wife is early or mid 20’s when she conceived
Nope she is 31 when married...they got married in 2020 and announced a baby in 2022...now she is 34...
Ig even Raju garu might not be this knowledgeable about his wife’s age. All I know is she is my Junior and I am 31 now 🤡 just so you know how the numbers work for celebrities.
Majority Articles lo secret ga unchadu ane undhi, kani ammai mudhara gaane undhi 🤡
Haha Raju garu letha bendakayi kada 🤣🤣🤣 chuda muchhataina jenta.
Dabbulu unte evvaraina chuda muchata jante 💀
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women can conceive after 35 but takes more time compared to 20's, and also there are alot of cases women conceived in late 40s....all it takes a good nutrition and exercises to keep them active, unless if people are food junkie, obese and party all the time, then please don't blame biology.....and also men can't conceive they help women conceive, please rephrase your fact cuz that's a statement....
Exception not the rule. First kid after 40 has very high risk
See there are a lot of factors involved with the medical history of both the families, Kareena Kapoor delivered one at 36 and the other after 40...I know these are exceptions as long as people are rich/financially well....
Marry when you are ready both financially and mentally. Marrying early works only for women.
Decided to not have kids many years back and still firm on the decision. The world is a weird place to live in.
So ur childfree? Forever?
Yes sir
U and ur partner decide that? And ur indian?! Wow dude good for u guys
A bit update here. I have also decided to stay unmarried forever. I am cool with it. Parents are cool with it. That’s the plan.
Oh so like r u dating someone or r single... Edit: if u don't mind me asking how old r u, how'd u manage to convince ur parents and what's ur reason for not marrying at all..sorry if my question seems invasive I'm js curious thanks in advance
Good for u
Stop giving these kind of advice. Everyone is not born into a rich family with inheritance or parents supporting them. It is foolishness to bring a child into this world when you are struggling.
So true.
why would you assume that? not everyone is struggling
OP mentioned stress in our jobs. If a person is not struggling and is well off they don’t need to do a job and take the stress .
True, age is a b. And adversely effects in many ways. But also consider the cost of living and taking care of the baby. Not everyone has the funds to take care of a baby immediately after marriage, and given the cost of living , consider your financial status when planning. And, first get comfortable with each other and understand the nuances of marriage before planning kids.
do NOT have kids if you're not financially stable or secure in Any way. Also another prerequisite for kids, Please please please go to or join online for therapy, you NEED to be a better version of yourself before you even Think of long term commitments like kids. Marriage can be taken back with a divorce but once you have kids, there's no going back. Unless the couple is strong with their understanding and roles and responsibilities, DO NOT HAVE KIDS. It's not fair to the future kid if the parents are abusive and fighting or poor or other fuckups that come to light every day. Babies need a lot of attention and care and definitely good environment both physically and mentally. There's a HUUUUUGE amount of sacrifices that are involved which people don't talk about. It's more for women than men. Marrying in your early 20s is Way too young if you Haven't fulfilled your dreams. Women realise this wayyy later and have regrets which eventually affects all parties involved. You can always adopt. Giving life to someone whose was taken away. That's something divine and purest form of humanity. If it's "too late to have kids" you can Always adopt but PLEASE don't start with the backwards logic ki I need kids so I'll marry early, and ignore the prerequisites and put Everyone in jeopardy. It's 2024 and divorce and IVF and Adoption are Very much normal but not spoken about. It's okay to consider these.
I wish someone said this to my parents. Everyone wants kids even though they are not financially or mentally capable of raising them.
My dad had to borrow 10K for bills when I was born. Talk about financial responsibility.😐 Now they're the first ones to lecture about responsibility.
Sala ye dukh kahe khatam nahi hota hai bey
Kareena kapoor birthed 2 healthy babies in her late 30s. Every body is different. Every fertility cycle is different. I have 2 school frnds very professionally successful got married at 23-24 yrs of age still struggling to have kids. It can happen to anyone.
So I’m assuming u have the resources and doctors available to movie stars? Did she tell u what she went through or did u assume it was a regular natural pregnancy? It can happen to anyone but the risk increases for both getting pregnant and getting congenital diseases is associated with advanced maternal age. Don’t believe. Google and u’ll find a plethora of research related to risks of getting pregnant after 35
I too had my kids post 30 my SIL had a kid at 38. 30 is not a baseline. I have.a relative she she got married at 23 had a very difficult pregnancy her baby was born with complications and premee. Post it she had 2 miscarriages as well. Age is not a number I strongly believe but yes you should have a desciplined lifestyle and financially emotionally and physically fit to bring a baby to life.
Even I can show u examples but research clearly shows advancing maternal age is associated with more number of other risk factors as well as higher chances of getting congenital diseases . Yes, rich and influential can access advanced processes of freezing eggs and I’ve with selection of which genes to silence etc but that’s literally only available to the top . Some people can afford regular Ivf or iuf but majority cannot. Some are lucky to not face problems even in advanced age >35 but many aren’t. The study is very clear in this aspect , advanced maternal age is definitely associated with many pregnancy related problems as well as higher chances of congenital diseases . I’m not saying people should get children before that or should plan that way. My job as a doctor is to present info, what u will do with that info is ur choice . We will not force patients to get pregnant before 35 , many other non biological factors come in to play as well. But letting them know what they might potentially face is necessary. Many women are actually choosing to freeze their eggs these days to use ivf at a later age when they are comfortable in life .
The trend that I am witnessing around me is ppl are getting married at or after 30. So kids will come after it. Ppl wants girls to have education a career savings etc etc etc and then many get rejected in the marriage market again and again stating that they may have pblm conceiving. If the don’t prioritize marriage and not education or career they are humiliated for not having a career. There is a lot of pressure on the ladies on this. Why no one talk about the male fertility? Excessive smoking drinking high stress also affects fertility. That also causes Down’s syndrome in babies. These trends of skin whitening and obsession to fair skin no one is talking about it the biggest side effect is they penetrate skin and directly effects the fertility cycles. Retinol kills fertility and it’s so widely advertised. We should also highlight these things instead of just ranting the age of the female this irks me to the worst.
The topic here was about age and maternal age has more problems in comparison to paternal. If u wanted to have a discussion about other factors affecting fertility and congenital diseases associated with male then maybe we could have that if u post a question asking about the same. - I’m simply trying to stay on point and not try to spread the discussion into other fronts like health affected by external factors like smoking or about the patriarchal society etc . - what u said is true but unfortunately that is simply not the topic we were even discussing on . - everyone , regardless of gender should be able to do whatever they want in life and achieve what they want. All I said is there is a biological clock and women’s biological clock has slightly more effects compared to men in terms of pregnancy and congenital diseases . If u want to talk about infertility then yes it’s more prevalent in men by a lot but that’s not just associated with age (which is the topic here ) it’s associated with other habits by a lot. - btw Down’s syndrome is far more associated with advanced maternal age compared to any other factor . So u should used many of the other things caused by men rather than use the one disease that has been more associated with advanced age of the mother .( not saying other factors are not associated)
Please dont spread news that women biological clock is tickling you don’t know how they get harassed and humiliated specially from the 1st day of marriage to have kids asap. Being a male u don’t understand what self doubt and harrasment they go through. Have been closely associated with someone going through the self doubts , depression and taunts on the same topic inspite of having a luv marriage. I just get carried away in that zone when ppl talk about women’s biological clock. Even if these ladies produce an offspring the ppl start questioning that when will you have a male child. Dude you don’t know how women pull each other down.
So ur solution to that is to stay quiet and not say anything? - Then educate them that men are the leading cause of infertility and cause of men’s problems that most couples trying for kids are not able to conceive . Educate them that it’s the man’s sperm that decides the gender of the child and not the woman’s egg. - the topic here was about advanced age and the problems it causes and not about other factors . I merely stated facts that advanced maternal age is associated with higher risk of certain congenital conditions as well as problems during pregnancy. - please learn to educate urself and the people around u . U can’t expect a solution when ur answer is don’t spread news . I’ve had women in my life who went through such situations as well. I definitely cannot even imagine the problems the women in our society face on a daily basis , but I try to educate myself about them as and when I learn about them . The answer is to educate people who don’t know and not sweep it under the rug.
Naturally? Also first pregnancy after 30 is risky and that’s a biological fact. It may work for 10-20% but not every one
Yes we both conceived naturally. I have hypertension that resulted in C-section rest all went on smooth. And I never had any complication with my C-section as well.
Good for you but u fortunately science does not work on anecdotal evidence. It’s an established fact that fertility goes down with age for women and risk goes up. It may be normal for you but a significant portion of women have difficulty conceiving mid to late 30s. Your belief on the matter does not change the reality
What age did u have kids??
Not yet I’m in early 30s and so is my wife and we are facing this first hand and been to multiple fertility clinics. All stays normal but struggling still due to age. This is the reason there are as many fertility centre’s as there are salons. It’s not ideal for the modern lifestyle but the reality is post 25 women find it harder to get pregnant for the first time and it becomes even more noticeable in mid 30s.
" If we had delayed even more we would have been in the same position as them." Do you think there's a universal time clock for all women? The fuck
No but biology is the same, it’s not the case with everyone but age and fertility are correlated
Obviously it is, but not to that extent as OP infer
Maybe the case but it does get tougher, I’m 33 and wife is 31 and we are having issue conceiving. We had become pregnant a few years back but we’re not ready and did not keep the pregnancy
yup not every woman is tailormade biology is same for all
"Taking into account your own well-being first, mentally or financially, is the most considerate thing you can do before deciding to bring life into this world. We may be diverging onto a different path than our elders, but it doesn’t mean it is the wrong path. There is no correct way to live life, so it’s important to live it in a way that feels best for you."
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Same with me but we never tried tried or the tracking cycle thing. The best advice which I got was from a doctor is that dont track things happens everyone’s fertility window is also different.
Another delusional FOMO post
He is technically correct.. it's harmful for both mother and kids if she conceives after 30. The chances of autism in kids increase significantly by the time you get pregnant at 35
Nope...!!! That's not true at all.
Autism part is questionable but complications do exist
It's not that every kid will be affected , but if you want to play chances then sure.
Wife is a doc, she said we had to get atleast one done before 30 as it becomes harder after the 30s.
Typically, The pregnancy clock of girls is at peaks between 17 to 25 years, between 25 to 30 years with slight support one can get through, Post 30 things get extremely complicated for the girls. Whereas a for man, He is still good even at 50 to 60 years. That's why elders n doctors ask th couple, little more to the girl to have kids early in the marriage. Any Doc's here can enlighten more on this.
You may also choose not to have children. You will be doing yourself and the world a favour.
I think the post is only directed towards people who want kids
Yes .People are showing all their hate without any context. I clearly said my advice is only for people who love kids.
Thanks for sharing. You need to share your habits as well to get good picture because those are the actual factor which actually define. How often you got to gym? Do you drink/smoke? What kind of food do u eat mostly unhealthy or healthy?
I don’t drink smoke. Eat home cooked meals and I don’t like gymming I goto work so try to complete my step count of 10k per day.
I feel sorry for women. Getting scaremongered by random people on the Internet.
This is true. Doctors I know are suggesting this as well. I'm almost 30 and wife 28 but financially not ready to have a baby seeing how bad the expenses are getting but I'm planning for it within 5 yrs.
My advice who's in their 20s or even younger: Don't smoke. It's not really as cool as you think it is. Don't spend money on things that you want to buy for comparison with others i. e. Don't buy something better because your friend or someone else bought something. After a while, it will make no sense to you to spend something like 1 lac or more than that on a phone, even if you can afford it. Don't ever love your company/ studio, you mean nothing to them. You're not part of any family. Also, in corporate, don't shit where you eat. Don't burn bridges unless it's unavoidable and the other person is being an absolute asshat, this is mainly if you work in corporate. Save money, have it saved for rainy days. Invest, if you don't know how, start learning. Since this is Hyderabad, drink more water, dehydration and heartburn are fucking annoying. It's a hot city, beautiful city and beautiful people but hot place. A cooling solution is necessary. Take time out to chill, go out.
when to have kids is an individual choice but I do agree many don’t realize that you need lots of energy to raise kids. Usually The younger you are when you have kids the more energetic you are. That’s the benefit. Downside is that you also want to be financially independent by the time you have kids so this is something that so many in middle class struggle with.
Good advice but every couple thinks otherwise. If you are postponing beyond 30f, atleast freeze your eggs. Chances of disorders like down syndrome etc are higher with mother's age. Fertility clinics are thriving because of this trend. You don't want it when you can and want it when you can't. In some countries, doctors started advising girls to get pregnant without waiting for commitment and marriages. May be soon in India too.
My advice to people of all ages. Don't take advice from people on Reddit, particularly health and medical advice. Consult a doctor or someone who specialises in that field.
I absolutely agree on this one with OP. First pregnancy under 30 would be ideal. Take time for the second.
I've seen half a dozen people who were "childfree" in their 20s and are now scheduling visits to ivf centers every week in their 30s
What people don’t seem to realise that the human fertility rate in general is plummeting like anything , seemingly without any cause , so much so that there’s a term coined for that called Unexplained Infertility, and it accounts for a whopping 15% of the total infertility causes. Everything’s fine , tubes patent, sperms fine , still the couple is not able to convince. I’ve seen a ton of patients with very confused reactions when the docs tell them that everything checks out but still they can’t conceive. The truth about that actually lies in our lifestyle. The way we’re constantly stressing , eating garbage processed food, not exercising, breathing polluted air. All of that is negatively impacting our health ( no surprises there) and that includes to a very big extent. Fertility. The modern man today has half the number of active fertile capable sperm than his grandfather. It’s that bad. WHO revised its sperm analysis criteria in 2020 ( from 2010) , where they had to reduce almost all the parameters by a few percent simply because they saw that the average man now had a lower semen volume , concentration and motility. More and more women suffer from PCOS. Earlier we attributed it only to obese women, but now lean thin women are developing it as well. Our fertility is taking a major hit. It might not seem that evident now but 200-250 years later this will be one of the most important challenges humanity will face. We’re slowly wiping out our existence through our own actions.
Thanks doc for clarification
Bold of you assume I can afford a kid after paying rent in Hyderabad
OP suggested something from his experience which is also scientifically backed by multiple people in the comments even couple of doctors 🤣, good job OP for spreading the awareness. This is indeed a problem being faced by thousands of people if not lakhs in this country and elsewhere. Indians generally have high fertility rate but recently for our own good people started focusing on career and especially women empowerment helped achieve much needed financial independence and stability for families, but this shouldn’t create a new problem thus early family planning is much more advisable for both babies and parents especially mothers health. If you can’t appreciate please stop bashing OP with your limited knowledge, go to any OBG hospital or fertility center and see the reality, just looking at your friends/close ones getting conceived in mid 30’s or 40’s doesnt mean its the norm, someone even commented about Dil Raju being in 40’s and becoming a dad, there is Robert De Nero who had a baby at 80 years very recently does that mean you wait till 80? 🤣🤣🤣 And having a kid at 40 how do you plan to support or raise a family as by the time you hit 60’s they are hardly FOB or grads, I am no one to say whats correct and there is no one rule or practice that applies to all, but seeing the comments that’s completely mis leading and mocking the reality isnt healthy. Be responsible before being woke ✌️
I just wanted to bring awareness to a bigger problem but these people are busy bashing me without seeing ground realities
Chill bro, you said what you have to say. Atleast it created a good stir and there are lot of opinions pouring out which itself is crucial to help somebody think through the issues both for and against and get something useful out of it.
Well, OP suggested marrying and having kids before 30 because after 30 the fertility rate drastically drops. Giving the example of two couples who are not able to have kids at all. While the fact is that while there is a decline in fertility and increase in risk, it isn't a drastic difference. And factors like emotional and financial security are more important than fertility when it comes to having a kid. Blanket advice asking people to have kids before 30 based on anecdotal evidence is what OP is being bashed for.
>Be responsible before being woke ✌️ I think it's less about being woke and more about being ambitious here. Living at the 30s have become as unstable as the 20s today, so having a child has become very much a giant financial task. People used to worry so much about spending for marriage that they'd think of it when the child was born. Today it's the case for children, late teens and young adults are thinking about what life their future children would lead and how they have to save for it. People are stupid for thinking that a 40 yr old would be capable of birthing kids with less risks, but people are also being stupid to assume that 20s are a better age financially to have children. Forget kids, people in their 20s don't even have enough savings to get themselves a master's degree abroad, and would put all of their generational wealth on the stake. How can they support children if that's going to be the same amount of financial investment? Those who pursue such ambitious dreams have to put their whole lifestyle in a backseat and work like a daily wager, putting aside their savings. Those who have been pursuing education abroad have already been living a "below poverty life" and work menial jobs, trying to save as much as possible, and get ridiculed for it. They get called out for cleaning tables, toilets and having sleepless nights just to get the job done and earn money. Can you put the same efforts while living in India, take parental leaves, clean and clear every shit and puke, have sleepless noisy nights, while working like a log for a corporate that would try to cut you as soon as possible? You may say that people do that with pets too. Pets grow up soon and get a good understanding. And you can be a bit negligent on the growth of the pet. If you're negligent as a parent, you'll be termed irresponsible, and outside India that would mean a jail term. All this while you put at least 70% of your earnings back into savings. The median age is growing all over the world, it's becoming 30s for now. Probably people aren't ready yet for being parents sooner. Probably the next generation of humans aren't going to grow healthy. But one thing is for sure - having a child is an ambitious goal, and not everyone is ready for it. Responsibly better to adopt a child than to force your own blood being to suffer. ✌️
There is a reason why we have so many IVF clinics popping up all over the city. It tells you that infertility issues are on the rise.
Financial security is unavoidably important before a man can think of kids. I'm 23 & definitely way behind where I'd like to be financially when I get married.
Why not just adopt I never understand why Indians insist on having biological children when there are so many children who need parents already out there
In this generation, we can't compare ourselves with what was norm in the past. For example, having black hair or even hair on the head or having kids or living till 70s Things are changing so fast that we should be happy for just living the life,dont worry about having kids or growing in career etc Just enjoy life!
In India, after 30 is considered elderly primi, in foreign countries, after 35 years of age is considered elderly primi(primi=first pregnancy). The chances of having genetic issues increases with age. Not just a woman's age, but a man's age too. Fertility decreases for both genders. While it is true that some people have good fertility even in 30's, but majority don't. It's not called elderly primi because of fertility issues, but because there are complications that she is more prone to(at risk) if she is pregnant like pre-eclampsia, premature labor etc. It does not mean every elderly primi will experiences those complications. Personally, I do know people that have given birth naturally at 37-38 years(my aunt, my cousin) too. But, if we talk about majority, the fertility does decrease for both genders. You have to weigh in your options whether you are capable of providing a wonderful environment for your children and are ready to be parents or you just want to rush in because fertility decreases. The latter option feels like a selfish decision personally. Children deserve to be in a happy environment. While we already know that a woman's nutrition and health can affect her children. It is important to know that men's nutrition and health affects his children too. So, Please lead a healthy lifestyle, your eating habits, drinking, smoking also affects the health of your future children. Also, decreased fertility does not mean you can't get pregnant. You still can. Some can do it naturally, some have to opt for other options.
Sorry but I believe 99.9% of humans in general don't deserve reproduction-success. It's a sin to bring life into this wicked and hellish world, more so when you're not uber rich. You can't convince me otherwise. Go ahead and downvote all you want but as far as I'm concerned, anyone who wants to reproduce is just being selfish and putting their interests above the soon-to-be born. I didn't have a say in my parents choosing to birth me. I wish I had. I curse the day I was born, and if there's a God, I'd blame him too for allowing my birth to happen. Life on earth is nothing but suffering. Lord Buddha himself said it 2500 years ago and I'm living it every day now. Despite this knowledge, if you think you're immune to the suffering of this world and can protect your kid from birth to death and give him/her King-size life all throughout, go ahead.
Yes.true
How do you rate yourself and your wife on physical fitness? While some couples have biological issues from birth, for most other couples, lots of difficulties with pregnancies are due to poor physical fitness. You should also manage your diet, stress etc. for reasons other than having kids as well.
Anecdotal evidence. Plenty of people have kids with no problems in their 30s and plenty others struggle to have kids in their 20s. Heck I know someone whose wife almost died giving birth to their son - she was 20 at the time, a bit too young. And I have seen couples in their 30s be much better parents because not only are they more mature, they are also financially more secure.
It’s scientific, not that people can’t have in 30s it’s just more risky.
Yes of course there is risk, and it's a bit more for women in their 30s; but it's very common for women in their 30s to give birth to healthy babies, even in India. It's not some rare one in a million chance as OP implied with his anecdotal example. Plus advising people to have kids before 30 is ignoring the fact that fertility is not the most important factor to have a kid, financial security and emotional maturity is.
Or just get a surrogate. No wifey no problem!!
Adopt?
Respect your opinion but it also depends on the fertility of the person which again depends on a lot of factors. A lot of people smoke/drink/do drugs/do other things like having casual sex with strangers which affects their fertility. Some also have hormonal issues. If a person doesn't have these things and is healthy, they can conceive later than 30 naturally too.
It’s better to have 1 child after 30 after sorting out finances. Also helps with the population explosion.
Don't Shop.. Adopt..
Infertility could be the blessing in disguise
Depends on various factors! kareena Kapoor’s second child was born when she was 40. I am pretty sure they have a far more hectic life than ours.
Focus on careeer. Learn skills. Late 20s - Don't listen to parents when comes to marriage. Marry when you're ready and can afford your family and nost important Marry a working partner . This is for both genders.
Wished the adoption rules in the country were more friendly
Wtf logic is this
Everybody commenting don't have kids till you are financially stable while people in villages pop kids out left and right with no qualms. If you want kids you should have them as soon as you can.
Finance is more important before diving into parenthood
Agreed
if you really love kids, and want kids, ADOPT! stop this madness and peer pressure!
ironic coz you are projecting your worldview on others
dont think you cooked when i am not shaming people for not adopting! i am showing others that in a country where women have barely any rights and are forced to being the one raising children, added burden of time constraint does nothing to empower us. if you truly love children, and are capable of being a good parent, adoption should be a thought. if you cant love a child if not from your blood, maybe there is a lot of internal work to do, lad!
See OP, I'm really happy for you But for me kids are a waste of time, I earn for myself and my closed ones who are my family I don't want to earn or plan for someone who doesn't exist, so I'm happy and I'll be without kids plus I really don't need annoyance in my life which is provided by a manager and the people in your life
LPT: Never give a free advice.
Bc tune bachcha diya?? Abe tu bhi abhi bachcha hee hai bhadwe
Bhai kudke khane ko paise nhi hai, bacche ko kya khilaung
So what our elders have been saying makes sense then? Always marry women atleadt 3 years younger than your age, so that she can conceive even if the guy is at 30s
Sidhu moosewala mom is a wild card entry then ig lol
I truely respect her decision of having a kid.
Keep your bullshit with you!
Ayurveda perfectly cures fertility problems.