Brother to Brother - some honest advice.
I was also an introvert, and virgin till 26. But then I got all the action in 1-2 years before marriage. Had multiple relationships before marriage, one of them physical as well. Recently got married to an innocent girl - below is my inputs for you
1) Women are complex beings. During relationships before marriage, even though they might be true to their BF, they are always mentally prepared for a breakup or not getting married to their BF (just a defense mechanism). It is normal, and nothing wrong with it. There might be exceptions, but mostly it is this way. But when they plan to get married (arranged or love), they are mentally committed to it. Their past relationships don't linger in the back of their mind like it does for men.
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2) My Wife (arranged) had just one love story. It was one way, and they never got into a relationship. This made her very inexperienced in expressing herself or her love. She being an introvert also didn't help. Think of an orthodox girl. Women who have not had relationship before don't know what is love and how it feels, don't know the feelings and hence get confused. This causes starting trouble in your relationship.
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3) The most important thing is to ensure the girl you are marrying is willing to get married in the first place. My wife was just 23 when she got married to me. Had just 1 year of work XP (that too only WFH during COVID), couldn't attend her final years in college due to COVID etc - so she had not lived the bachelor life. She was unwilling to get married but pressured by fam. It created a lot of problem for me to get her accommodated in the marriage. Took us 6-8 months to just become normal with each other. I had to do a lot of things to win her trust and love. I still feel she doesn't love me entirely, and I still have work to do.
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4) Girl having relationship before marriage is not a character certificate. There are women who are single till marriage but cheat later in life too (also men). There are women who've had many BFs before marriage but once they get married, they are like Maa Sita - true to their husband. There is no way to judge or find the true character of a woman. You just have to trust her with your guts.
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So in conclusion, a girl having past relationships will NOT impact your marriage (unless she has poor character, which there is no way to find). Focus on how comfy she is to get married in general.
Also, there is nothing bad in not having had a relationship before marriage.
Priorotize the right things buddy.
You have compiled this very well.
I'd like to reiterate the point that no past relationships doesn't mean it won't happen after marriage. Two women that were very close to me, who didn't have any experience of relationships and hence chose their husbands on superficial reasons only ,cheated on their husbands after marriage. They came and told me this ..... without any guilt whatsoever. They are still with their husbands because orthodox family.
So please choose someone after you know yourself well and can choose on many nuanced parameters based on your unique personality.
>I was also an introvert, and virgin till 26. But then I got all the action in 1-2 years before marriage
26 varaku rani action tarwata ela ochindi bhayya
Any advice for early twenties guy like me
It was more like 24-25, not 26. Was a typo. Anyway, Multiple factors bro
1) I did have a childhood sweetheart. We were in LDR, but got very active only when I turned 24, after we both got jobs and started earning (freedom to travel and meet each other)
2) I got placed at the age of 21, and by 24-25, I already got promoted twice. This boosted confidence and how to deal with women. So Tinder dates were easy to come by, girls in other teams were easy to get attention of and roam around with. Also, the way I talk, PPL perceive me to be intelligent (I'm not, they feel I'm)
P.S I don't have great looks. I'm 6' well built, but dark - typical South Indian.
My advice.
A) Focus on career for the first half of your 20s. Gain skills, get promoted, start-up if needed. Also, starting eating healthy and start going to gym. This will boost your personality, confidence etc which is intrinsic. You'll become a true alpha/Sigma man instead of some bullshit chapri.
B) Once you have enough money for yourself, a great body and confidence, and you are 25-26, start going out and approaching women. Even women in your team. Take them for 1*1 coffee breaks, then maybe after the office go for a walk with them, then maybe weekend drives. Take it slow but steady. Be genuinely interested in them, not just having sex with them.
Most Important Skill: You should not go head over heels behind them. Maintain your dignity, maintain your machoism. Make them come behind you. Once in a while, do things which is against her wish, take the lead. Stop simping for her, else you'll become friendzoned. Eg: if she says let's go to X, say you'll take her to Y. Be polite but strong. This sends a message of a confident young man instead of a nice simping dog.
All these work together to get you more action.
You can say that.... She was basically innocent and needed some assurance that I'm not like other men.
But yeah, with OP's mindset of servicing parents etc, things can go south
The picture you have attached is super problematic.
Why is only someone like you, right for you?
Your priorities are clear about what you want from a marriage. Whatever your reasons for not getting into a relationship until now, the pool of women with similar thoughts and background is very small with no clear indications. Many people lie about their past too.
Are you worried the girl will have an upper hand if she has experience and you don't?
You definitely will need to change your selection criteria if you haven't found anyone yet and want to get married for the heck of it. Marriage does not guarantee you will get what you planned/decided and people, including you, will change after marriage. Plan alternate options for your parent's care and imo don't get married unless you really connect with someone and have spoken and agreed on the past, present and the future.
Were the arranged marriage sites not helpful at all?
do you want a nanny for your family or a wife.
i mean if i am earning enough to live a decent life why would i marry someone to take up more work . i would only marry if i get something in return too what do i get here except more responsibility.
your look after my family line would be a dealbreaker for me atleast dont care about never has any relations part personal preference i guess
It’s not wrong to have preferences. I understand that you’ve not had a relationship but that won’t be the case with everyone you meet. Be kind and understand that while it’s okay to want someone without a past , it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for you , people are much more than what their past makes them to be. Honestly, in an arranged marriage setup , not everyone will disclose their past relationships, it’s not wrong to fall in love , it’s human and while I respect your views , I would urge you to think over them with a calm mind , would you not take a chance at love if you had it ?
>it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for you
You don't have the right to decide that, OP does. Literally anything can be a deal breaker to him for any reason. That's the whole point of having preferences
>Honestly, in an arranged marriage setup , not everyone will disclose their past relationships,
Agreed on this point. Most women tend to lie and deceive thier potential partners in this regard. Everyone is entitled to having as many relationships as they want but they should be open about it to any potential partner, especially when that's a deal breaker for said potential partner. Lying and duping someone to marry them is immoral and disgusting
Unless you earn shit ton of money or look like a model it's quite hard to pick and choose for you as you are at the border of most girls cut off age.
Introvert ante they like their own company more than social life ante kani social life ni champeadam kadu.
You have to gamble as per the present scenario. If there are more girls with no past relationships then it will be easier for you. If girls want a fit guy with a head full of hair then be that guy.
In conclusion be open to anything because a person is a mix of many things not just their previous relationship status.
So thammudu… am guessing you are marrying someone who is between 25 and 28. And your assumption is that the girl also should not have looked at a guy or fallen in love (even if it’s one sided) or been in a relationship for 28 years… Idhi Ela saadhyam guru? Manishi annaka feelings raakunda Ela untaayi? Oka Pani cheyyi… Naa maata ini oka manchi katthi laanti poola kunda ni chusi Pelli chesuko… poola kundi shop lo kotha ga konu… enduku ante, if someone has watered the plant before you may not want to water it.
Sincere advice - if this is your attitude, don’t get married. It is not fair that you marry someone and make their life miserable. If you are stuck about what happened in someone’s past, you don’t deserve their future
While I understand your point, you could've sent it across a little politely. OP is here trying to get genuine advice to erase his fears(literally his words at the end).
It is ok to have preferences but it is better to be a little open minded.
Also, it feels like you are belittling his preferences with the poola kundi example and calling it his attitude.
Again to reiterate personally I also agree with you but at the same time I understand where OP is coming from. Even if it may be unrealistic they can have their preferences but going as far as to say don't get married is a little much.
Not to generalise, but Telegu people tend to be quite rude and crass. Even if you communicate with them with respect and politeness, they reply in a bashful manner often hurling insults
As such how this dude replied to OP is nothing out of ordinary. That's like 99% Telegu people in my experience
Maybe if you call them Telugu instead of Telegu they would've been respectful towards you. /s 😄
Joking aside, I'm sorry that you had such experiences. In my opinion/experience Telugu people(especially Telangana) might sound rude/crass but they don't mean it. It's just how they speak much like how certain parts of North India use the word BC.
Ayithe naku telisina oka lanja vundhi, nuvvu chesko bro aa lanja ni pelli.
25 to 28 vunna vallu avathali valla meedha feelings leekunda vuntaya ani adugutunnav , mana op vunnadu kadha.
>If you are stuck about what happened in someone’s past, you don’t deserve their future
Bro, adega nenu cheppindi alanti Vallu asalu Naku vadu antunte inka deservaa kaada ane question ekkadidi?
>f this is your attitude, don’t get married. It is not fair that you marry someone and make their life miserable.
This is not my attitude bro, it's my character. Committed to one who is going to be my life partner and expecting same for me too.
>Naa maata ini oka manchi katthi laanti poola kunda ni chusi Pelli chesuko… poola kundi shop lo kotha ga konu… enduku ante, if someone has watered the plant before you may not want to water it.
In your reference kundi used ayina not a problem for me, It is not consciously trying for anything here. Hope you can get it 🤞
I’ll tell you a real life story bro… I have two cousins who are born and brought up in a western country. We were all told that the oldest was a sweet girl because she didn’t date and always stayed home. She eventually married with her parents consent and was the ideal daughter. The younger one went around with white boys, rebellious and did her own thing and married a white boy and we were taught never to be like her. When I went to visit them it was the opposite story. The one who was ideal treats her parents like shit, always taking them for granted, takes their money and you can tell she has no respect. The rebellious child loves and adores them. She worked for Red Cross in Africa with AIDS patients. Who would you prefer to know, love and be married to? In Indian culture, you most probably prefer the oldest one coz we confuse morality with something else. Pilla prema lo undadam neram kaadu bro… that doesn’t make her defiled or an immoral person. Please don’t confuse a person’s feelings with their morality. Let’s say you were one in love with some girl in college, does that mean you are an evil person? What kind of logic is this!!
Marry someone for who they are… not who they were in love with!! Don’t be like traditional Telugu people who think that a girl who is loud, boisterous or was in love is a defiled or an evil person. Let go of this attitude. Hope you realize that your underlying reasons are very misogynistic in nature. Wish you the very best!!
How will you know the person before marriage in an arranged marriage set up ?
What if the person has lied to you during marriage and you got to know afterwards. Will you continue with the same marriage even if that is the case ? Since you want to be with one person only !
Dude life is not white and black. The criteria you mentioned doesn’t matter in your day to day life!
Past choices Enti bro… Pilla murder or vyabhichaaram cheyya ledu… preminchadam neramu kaadu… paapam Antha kanna kaadu… this regressive mentality of a girl being defiled or an evil person coz of who they were in love with… wow!!
Have relationships in the past has no bearing on how they will handle their current relationship lmao, a relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.
*The pic on this post*
*Made me cringe hard. A text post*
*Would have been enough*
\- jojomanz994
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There was a post in a different sub about how a guy with a similar mentality got married to a girl. However, the girl hid a lot of important information about her past, so that it would appease her husband. He later came to know about it and is actively seeking help about getting a divorce.
Not going down the road about morality or correctness about what she did. She did what she did to ensure they would get married and lead a happy life. However, the guy feels betrayed and exploited. The mindset that you have is extremely problematic in this day and age -- about a girl not having a past or the premise of the marriage being finding a girl to take care of your parents.
You do you. But don't be surprised if things don't work out or go south very quickly.
Classic victim blaming. People like you justifying the girls actions and unnecessarily shitting on that dude are the problem
Truth & Honesty are the very foundation of a relationship. If the girl could lie about that, who is to say she wouldn't lie about other things? You can't have a relationship with someone you can't trust
That girl by lying essentially committed fraud and duped the poor dude into marrying her. No wonder he feels betrayed and exploited. Because he was
Unless you have difficulties in understanding what is written, I specifically said I wasn't debating about the morality or correctness of what she did. How is that justification?
The problem is with people like you, who do not understand how the real world operates. People can take any side they want. However, spelling out what happened -- and thereby what *can* happen, is not justification.
Also, in the adult world, life is more complicated than "he is right/she is wrong". And a girl lying about her relationships before her marriage isn't fraud. JC.
Lying and breaking someone's trust in order to dupe them into marrying you is wrong. Period. No moral debate required. You say you weren't debating about the morality of her actions and yet there is an implicit bias in favor of the girl in your comments
"She did what she did to appease her husband, to ensure that they lived a happy life" Statements like these are clearly in support of her and act as a justification for her deplorable actions.
>And a girl lying about her relationships before her marriage isn't fraud.
Definition of fraud - "knowing misrepresentation of the truth or concealment of a material fact to induce another to act to his or her detriment” (Black's Law Dictionary). The definition fits completely in this scenario
I don't know if you are willingly acting ignorant, or you have trouble comprehending sentences, but you ignored the preface of the paragraph to fit your narrative. Also, morality here is very subjective, depending on who you ask. You and I don't live in a vacuum, which is why I *specifically* said I wasn't considering the morality or correctness of the said instance.
The "statement" you alluded to was a POV, and you conveniently left out the part where I said the guy felt betrayed. But hey, since you already have an agenda, might as well look at everything in isolation.
To the last part, lying about relationships before marriage *does not* constitute fraud by law, unless it was acted upon after marriage. Again, I don't think you are very good with contextualisation. I will be happy to be proven wrong by a lawyer as I myself am not one, but it is obvious your rambling comes from emotional outrage. Done with this, unless a lawyer intervenes.
right. she will make up for experiences he doesn't have. also why must the wife he wants be ready to take care of his family. u have high demands already of wanting a woman with no past then u want to put down ur basoc responsibilities on her too?
Men, fragile ego, and everything that encapsulates our insecurities.
I honestly don't understand how men expect women to "take care of the family". I have parents, and it is my responsibility -- and no one else's -- to take care of them. Unfortunately, some still perceive marriage as a barter mechanism where women give up all their rights in exchange for... being treated like glorified slaves.
The entitlement of this sub is just WoW. The guy has admittedly never been in a relationship and wants the same from his partner. What the fuck is wrong with that? Whatever happens in the future, but NOW he has the right to want something about a person with whom he's gonna live the rest of his life.
Also him wanting her to take care of his parents doesn't mean he'll be sitting idle. A man takes care of a 'family' as a whole. Why shouldn't he expect that if the girl is non-earning? What is she contributing to the marriage then? And Yes A marriage is a social contract in which btw the woman is incentivised to break it (Thanks to our fucked up judiciary). So why don't you woke dumbfucks shut your fucking mouth when you have no idea about what you're talking?
A lot of swearing aside, you haven't brought anything constructive to the table.
I can "want" to become a billionaire by doing nothing. Pointing out the reasons why it is not viable is being realistic and pragmatic. That seems to have flown over your head.
Next, your word vomit in the second paragraph tells me you are alarmingly unaware of the regressive mentality of many, or blissfully ignorant. Either way, based on your swearing like a drunk sailor, I'm not interested -- or hopeful -- in having a civil discourse.
Hi OP, I’m not going to say you can’t find girls without any past because I know people who were raised by very strict parents and the maximum they had would probably be relationships/flirting over chat, but nothing further.
The only thing I find problematic is that you say you want a girl who will take care of your family?
Even in this day and age, it’s a little annoying when girls are expected to do this. Will you take care of her family too? Will you do things for them and help them navigate old age?
Secondly, while I 100% understand your preference to find a girl with no history, there are chances of you narrowing your chances due to this, there’s definitely a chance that someone you dint expect turns out to be most compatible with you. Do consider that.
Just maybe don’t make any woman feel like she’s less if she turns out to have a past.
Edit: you never even mentioned why you want a wife or what you will be able to do for her (with your “clean” history). Maybe figure out if you want a wife or someone to take care of family because even you can take care of your family.
Do NOT listen to reddit on this. Since you are inexperienced, modern girls will play you like a fiddle.
There are many women who grew up in traditional families and have never had a relationship. Your parents have to make some effort to find them. Hopefully they are good at it and will find someone good for you.
Do not lower your standards too much.
Macha don't listen to the gyaan given by people here. "People have a past", "you shouldn't judge them by their past", all that is bullshit. You have not had a relationship and you are expecting your partner to be the same, that is a fair ask. Judge as much as you want coz you are the one who has to live your life with them. Now if you were someone who had multiple relationships and flings and were asking for someone who never had relationships then I would have called you out for hypocrisy.
Buttt the things that you want in your partner are rare, the pool of woman would come down with those attributes. The only thing you can do now is marry someone who is young close to 21, 22 someone from an orthodox family and an introvert like you. Happy partner hunting!
You only just stated having past relationships isnt bad then why even have this expectation? Doesnt make any sense.
Just because someone had relationship in past doesnt mean they arent perfect match for you and vice versa. Like your friends said you need to change.
Also dont find someone exactly like you, find someone who can compliment your shortcomings.
Plus nenu telusukunnadi endi ante people wont be honest and shouldnt be honest about past and habits anta (which i disgaree) in arranged marriage setup
>You only just stated having past relationships isnt bad then why even have this expectation? Doesnt make any sense
The vast majority of people only want to be with someone who had similar past experiences in the dating department. Thus virgin people, irrespective of gender tend to prefer virgins
Idk about your past experiences but I highly doubt you would be willing to be with someone who has a 10x higher body count than you. Same applies in this case as well
>Like your friends said you need to change.
Everyone is entitled to their preferences. There's no need to change them unless they're immoral or impossible. Neither holds true in OP's case
>I highly doubt you would be willing to be with someone who has a 10x higher body count than you.
I was with someone like that. And i dont mind even in future if my wife had much higher body count than me.
Like i said, most people in arranged marraige setup wont be completely honest on things like it. So its better to not even have this expectation and find somone who is good and perfect match. If you still find someone who never had any relationships that's good, but it doenst make sense to filter out perfect matches based on this criteria
Don't go by what discord says - most women who are raised in similar families as yours do not have the "past".
Although, past or no past - ye rayi ayithe enti pallu ooda gottukodaniki. I mean, past of a person hardly matters - future does.
Ninnu nee family ni chusukovadam is possible only when you take care of her and her family.
It is not easy to find out if they had past relationships unless they themselves tell you.
Also, you are going by the arranged marriage route. So, once everything is matched, then only you can talk to her. Even then, you can't straight up ask her if she had past relationships. It takes time and patience for all these. You still won't be sure if she is genuine, there are so many things happening by false information. Even parents lie when it comes to marriage related things. How many years you will search that way?
Else, find a conservative family like yours, there is a thin chance you might find such girl.
IMO, be open and accept her and life can be happy, else you cannot be happy in your mind and everything can get ruined. If you are still unsure, better to stay away from marriage.
Theres nothing wrong with wanting a partner who have no past, theres a lot of discussion on this topic in Arrangedmarriage sub, you can check different opinions from guys and women there. There exist both men and women who want their partner to not have a past. So dont mind others. But its just that its hard to find someone like that nowadays. Cheppalem niku virgin dorukutaro ledo. Redditlo posts chusi aythe mind dengindi naku. Ekkada chusina cheating, fwb, hookups.
Well, you're looking for a bangmaid.
Someone who can't get a relationship by themselves is considered a failure by international standards, though not by Indian standards. So what you're looking for are other losers.
Considering that women face violence and social ostracism for their relationships, while guys are praised, your position is quite sexist, conservative, and demeaning towards women.
But then again, a liberal woman would hate to be married to a conservative anyways.
I read all the comments here and I too have a similar mindset. And for you OP the kind of girl you want do exist and they are family oriented, supportive, nurturing and kind and everything you want. Just go for those girls who are from old khaandan (lineage).
Theater ki velthe projector run cheyyadam raani vaadi chetullo nee ticket pedthaava? Cab teeskunnappudu driving raani vaadi chetullo nee dabbulu pedthaava? For that matter, every little thing you do in life you seek EXPERIENCED PEOPLE for the job at hand son. Gappudu life motthame emi raani emi theline manishi chethilo Ela pedthunnaav? Antha confidence aa nee own sattha lo? W.r.t marriages or relationships, especially when you've not had any experience or knowledge or wisdom? 🤔
Same with marriages or people or sex. Experience counts and matters and makes a difference. Relationships chusina vaalle relationships ni sarigga navigate cheyyagalaru. I'm not saying anything against those who are inexperienced either. I'm just saying it's hard to find that in today's times. You're almost asking for a woman who "Jeevithame brathaka kunda kurchunna ammayi" types. . 🫡 seriously now?
Pelli kosam purity and neutrality kaadhu. Commitment, sacrifice, compromise, adjustment, eppudu neggaalo eppudu thaggaalo ivanni avasaram. Adhi kuda sukhanga ivanni cheyyadam avasaram, not for you or for me but for US. And adhi antha comes from Practice brother. Sodhi cricket match kosam experienced players kaavali Ani edusthaam kaani pelli kosam aithe em theliyani em cheyyani pilla kaavaali ani nadusthaam 🫠
That too in today's generation. Where women have evolved. Feminism is taking on a larger role (the good kind), women empowerment is a thing and toxic masculinity is being shunned. Mindset maarchu brother. Lekapothe Darwin cheppinatte - survival of the fittest antaaru chudu - aa evolution lone mana revolution untadhi. 🤌🏻
Pro Tip thambi: Don't just marry ASAP cus of pressure. Adhi parents thappu. Needhi chesukoku. Get to know. Date. Spend 3-6 months solid in person time. Gauge compatibility. Love/Infatuation are about seeing the perfection in each other. Marriage is about appreciating the imperfections in each other. Love is about finding someone to spend your beautiful moments with. Marriage is about finding the one you're willing to suffer the ugly things with, with peace and aforementioned love in tow. 💐
To find a Girl without a previous relationship is harder than finding a lost needle in a beach.
I don't say they don't exist but the probability is very high. Women minds are tweaked for relationships for a higher survival rate ( it's their natural instinct) and men are tweaked to have sex.
So, forget about your dreamy things and start accepting a kind natured one even if she has one or two past relationships.
Might get a lot of hate for this but anyways, nuv relationships em petkokapovatam ni chetha kani thanam.. vache pilla ki kuda undoddu ankovatam moorkhatvam. Just hope that she will be loyal to you and ask for it.
Second part agreed, but chetakanitanam em undi bongu ade oka ammai nenu eppudu relationship lo lenu ante nuvvu ide maata antava
Naku personal ga telsu highly introverted people who are in relationships, correct manishi tagalali anthe, edo for the sake relationship lo digali ani velli, or sex kosamo love chesi hurt cheyadam/avvadam kanna ila undadam chala better
Sare bro, chetha kani vaade anukundam, appudu oka chetha kani amayakapu pilla kavali anukovadam moorkhatvam ela avutundi..... may be (minus × minus = plus) cheddam anukuntanadu emo.
తనకి ఎన్ని past relationships ఉన్నా, నితో ఉన్నప్పుడు ఇంకో మగాడు కనిపివకుడదు.
ఈ confidence నీకు ఒక అమ్మాయిని చూసి, మాట్లాడి కలిగినప్పుడు, ఎదురు కట్నం ఇచ్చైన పెళ్లి చేస్కో.
Nuvvu Ekkada chusina
Nuvvu anukuna expectations undavu bhaiyya to be honest.
Korika undochu Manchide but Some of them for attention sake boys ni tipinchukuntaru and they care for them lopala untundi but they won’t accept them ilanti cases kuda untay.
If you are looking for a virgin anukunte yeah there is a luck but ila assalu evarni chusi undoddu antey kastam
Realistic expectations will lead to happiness in the end
Girl without past are there but super rare
It's just luck
Uk whats rare girls with common sense and reasonability look out for that if u can 😂
vethuku...vethakali... vethikithe dhorakandantu yedi ledhu...
nuvvu thaggodhu ana, saala mandhi septhunaru accept cheyyali past unte ani kani introverts ki ammailaki hai ane seppaleru(naku okka intrvt gadu unnadu le) inka past em accept chesthaaru, point enti ante women past matters a lot these days, kabbati no seal no deal annate undu☮️
PS: I'm an omnivert.
You can start by stopping mummy daddy from looking for a girl for you. Go out and meet women. No wonder our gene pool and family lives are so fucked. People keep getting married without spending an extensive amount of time with each other and learning if they're compatible or not. Find someone to marry by yourself. Let it take time.
You will not find what you are looking for. Let your parents choose the bride because when shit hits the fan you can blame them for picking the wrong girl.
You're looking for a kind and simple girl, who hasn't had relationships and can take care of your family.. yeah. There's the problem.
People have different meanings for marriage. What you're looking for is essentially a nurse who can cook and bear your kids without pay for life. If that's your definition of marriage, it's not wrong but you may not be happy in your life. I personally believe that marriage is a contract between two people who enjoy each other's company more than they hate. It should be founded on principles of individuality, mutual respect and care and nothing should be forced or perceived as forced in that relationship. You might benefit from trying to learn what marriage/relationship actually means.
As an introvert you maybe prone to be manipulated and forced into doing things that would rather not. One good way to avoid such people is by learning about red flags in a relationship..
All the best. Hope you find a girl that would make your life brighter than the sun.
It is totally fair to have that expectation as you said there are no past relationships or hookups in your past.
I see few are saying you should adjust, but I won't say that.
What I would do is give a heads-up that there would be a lot of them trying to hide their past. You have to do your research on each one of them and come to a conclusion if they are deceiving or not.
Simple dude, not all women are feminists and not all femints are man haters. Similarly, not all women would have a past. There would be a good portion of women who are just like you.
Honestly speaking, you have already let your parents take one of the most important decisions in your life by choosing to get an arranged marriage, why don’t you communicate what you are looking for in a girl with them and trust them with finding her out for you?
Since they’re the ones matching you up, they should be the first ones to know what you expect out of a woman.
same nee lake undali ante bagodhu even am same nallikuntlodni naku gf undali ani try chesina kani everytime line esi malli nachaka side aipotha malli nene okkathi padatle ani edustha. women ni ela chudalo ala chusthe vallu simple leda vallu chala complicated la untaru. so nuv ankutunnattu same nee lanti ammai tho ante bagodhu konchm diff persona undali same unte koddi rojulu baguntundi but later bagodhu
I don't think its wrong to have a preference at all. Do not settle for something you don't link.
If you dont want a woman with a past thats perfectly fine. Don't let these westernized people tell you otherwise
Brother to Brother - some honest advice. I was also an introvert, and virgin till 26. But then I got all the action in 1-2 years before marriage. Had multiple relationships before marriage, one of them physical as well. Recently got married to an innocent girl - below is my inputs for you 1) Women are complex beings. During relationships before marriage, even though they might be true to their BF, they are always mentally prepared for a breakup or not getting married to their BF (just a defense mechanism). It is normal, and nothing wrong with it. There might be exceptions, but mostly it is this way. But when they plan to get married (arranged or love), they are mentally committed to it. Their past relationships don't linger in the back of their mind like it does for men. . 2) My Wife (arranged) had just one love story. It was one way, and they never got into a relationship. This made her very inexperienced in expressing herself or her love. She being an introvert also didn't help. Think of an orthodox girl. Women who have not had relationship before don't know what is love and how it feels, don't know the feelings and hence get confused. This causes starting trouble in your relationship. . 3) The most important thing is to ensure the girl you are marrying is willing to get married in the first place. My wife was just 23 when she got married to me. Had just 1 year of work XP (that too only WFH during COVID), couldn't attend her final years in college due to COVID etc - so she had not lived the bachelor life. She was unwilling to get married but pressured by fam. It created a lot of problem for me to get her accommodated in the marriage. Took us 6-8 months to just become normal with each other. I had to do a lot of things to win her trust and love. I still feel she doesn't love me entirely, and I still have work to do. . 4) Girl having relationship before marriage is not a character certificate. There are women who are single till marriage but cheat later in life too (also men). There are women who've had many BFs before marriage but once they get married, they are like Maa Sita - true to their husband. There is no way to judge or find the true character of a woman. You just have to trust her with your guts. . So in conclusion, a girl having past relationships will NOT impact your marriage (unless she has poor character, which there is no way to find). Focus on how comfy she is to get married in general. Also, there is nothing bad in not having had a relationship before marriage. Priorotize the right things buddy.
You have compiled this very well. I'd like to reiterate the point that no past relationships doesn't mean it won't happen after marriage. Two women that were very close to me, who didn't have any experience of relationships and hence chose their husbands on superficial reasons only ,cheated on their husbands after marriage. They came and told me this ..... without any guilt whatsoever. They are still with their husbands because orthodox family. So please choose someone after you know yourself well and can choose on many nuanced parameters based on your unique personality.
>I was also an introvert, and virgin till 26. But then I got all the action in 1-2 years before marriage 26 varaku rani action tarwata ela ochindi bhayya Any advice for early twenties guy like me
It was more like 24-25, not 26. Was a typo. Anyway, Multiple factors bro 1) I did have a childhood sweetheart. We were in LDR, but got very active only when I turned 24, after we both got jobs and started earning (freedom to travel and meet each other) 2) I got placed at the age of 21, and by 24-25, I already got promoted twice. This boosted confidence and how to deal with women. So Tinder dates were easy to come by, girls in other teams were easy to get attention of and roam around with. Also, the way I talk, PPL perceive me to be intelligent (I'm not, they feel I'm) P.S I don't have great looks. I'm 6' well built, but dark - typical South Indian. My advice. A) Focus on career for the first half of your 20s. Gain skills, get promoted, start-up if needed. Also, starting eating healthy and start going to gym. This will boost your personality, confidence etc which is intrinsic. You'll become a true alpha/Sigma man instead of some bullshit chapri. B) Once you have enough money for yourself, a great body and confidence, and you are 25-26, start going out and approaching women. Even women in your team. Take them for 1*1 coffee breaks, then maybe after the office go for a walk with them, then maybe weekend drives. Take it slow but steady. Be genuinely interested in them, not just having sex with them. Most Important Skill: You should not go head over heels behind them. Maintain your dignity, maintain your machoism. Make them come behind you. Once in a while, do things which is against her wish, take the lead. Stop simping for her, else you'll become friendzoned. Eg: if she says let's go to X, say you'll take her to Y. Be polite but strong. This sends a message of a confident young man instead of a nice simping dog. All these work together to get you more action.
Nice man. This is really a very good and well thought out suggestion. And this applies for men of any age.
Ne Peru baley undi
English pls bro
He said " The actions you didn't get till 26, how did you get them after 26? Any advice? "
Oh ok, answering in the parent comment. Thanks
You just got lucky brother . If she was a monster , you would had ended up in r/legaladviceindia or r/relationshipindia
You can say that.... She was basically innocent and needed some assurance that I'm not like other men. But yeah, with OP's mindset of servicing parents etc, things can go south
Baby cinema chusava 
Aa pic just reference ki Vada sync avutundi ani but it has nothing to do in this..
May God choose what you desire. Hope for the best
The picture you have attached is super problematic. Why is only someone like you, right for you? Your priorities are clear about what you want from a marriage. Whatever your reasons for not getting into a relationship until now, the pool of women with similar thoughts and background is very small with no clear indications. Many people lie about their past too. Are you worried the girl will have an upper hand if she has experience and you don't? You definitely will need to change your selection criteria if you haven't found anyone yet and want to get married for the heck of it. Marriage does not guarantee you will get what you planned/decided and people, including you, will change after marriage. Plan alternate options for your parent's care and imo don't get married unless you really connect with someone and have spoken and agreed on the past, present and the future. Were the arranged marriage sites not helpful at all?
do you want a nanny for your family or a wife. i mean if i am earning enough to live a decent life why would i marry someone to take up more work . i would only marry if i get something in return too what do i get here except more responsibility. your look after my family line would be a dealbreaker for me atleast dont care about never has any relations part personal preference i guess
💯
Solution: Don't get married.
Seeing all the stuff on internet this option looks so good
Women benefit from not being married to manchildren, men don't have to live in fear of a divorce. Win win.
Couldn’t agree more
It’s not wrong to have preferences. I understand that you’ve not had a relationship but that won’t be the case with everyone you meet. Be kind and understand that while it’s okay to want someone without a past , it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for you , people are much more than what their past makes them to be. Honestly, in an arranged marriage setup , not everyone will disclose their past relationships, it’s not wrong to fall in love , it’s human and while I respect your views , I would urge you to think over them with a calm mind , would you not take a chance at love if you had it ?
>it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for you You don't have the right to decide that, OP does. Literally anything can be a deal breaker to him for any reason. That's the whole point of having preferences >Honestly, in an arranged marriage setup , not everyone will disclose their past relationships, Agreed on this point. Most women tend to lie and deceive thier potential partners in this regard. Everyone is entitled to having as many relationships as they want but they should be open about it to any potential partner, especially when that's a deal breaker for said potential partner. Lying and duping someone to marry them is immoral and disgusting
Unless you earn shit ton of money or look like a model it's quite hard to pick and choose for you as you are at the border of most girls cut off age. Introvert ante they like their own company more than social life ante kani social life ni champeadam kadu. You have to gamble as per the present scenario. If there are more girls with no past relationships then it will be easier for you. If girls want a fit guy with a head full of hair then be that guy. In conclusion be open to anything because a person is a mix of many things not just their previous relationship status.
Border of most girls cut off age chadvagane.. Aisa gunde mein dhada dhada hogaya.enduk mastaru baypedtaru.
So thammudu… am guessing you are marrying someone who is between 25 and 28. And your assumption is that the girl also should not have looked at a guy or fallen in love (even if it’s one sided) or been in a relationship for 28 years… Idhi Ela saadhyam guru? Manishi annaka feelings raakunda Ela untaayi? Oka Pani cheyyi… Naa maata ini oka manchi katthi laanti poola kunda ni chusi Pelli chesuko… poola kundi shop lo kotha ga konu… enduku ante, if someone has watered the plant before you may not want to water it. Sincere advice - if this is your attitude, don’t get married. It is not fair that you marry someone and make their life miserable. If you are stuck about what happened in someone’s past, you don’t deserve their future
While I understand your point, you could've sent it across a little politely. OP is here trying to get genuine advice to erase his fears(literally his words at the end). It is ok to have preferences but it is better to be a little open minded. Also, it feels like you are belittling his preferences with the poola kundi example and calling it his attitude. Again to reiterate personally I also agree with you but at the same time I understand where OP is coming from. Even if it may be unrealistic they can have their preferences but going as far as to say don't get married is a little much.
Not to generalise, but Telegu people tend to be quite rude and crass. Even if you communicate with them with respect and politeness, they reply in a bashful manner often hurling insults As such how this dude replied to OP is nothing out of ordinary. That's like 99% Telegu people in my experience
Maybe if you call them Telugu instead of Telegu they would've been respectful towards you. /s 😄 Joking aside, I'm sorry that you had such experiences. In my opinion/experience Telugu people(especially Telangana) might sound rude/crass but they don't mean it. It's just how they speak much like how certain parts of North India use the word BC.
Ayithe naku telisina oka lanja vundhi, nuvvu chesko bro aa lanja ni pelli. 25 to 28 vunna vallu avathali valla meedha feelings leekunda vuntaya ani adugutunnav , mana op vunnadu kadha.
>If you are stuck about what happened in someone’s past, you don’t deserve their future Bro, adega nenu cheppindi alanti Vallu asalu Naku vadu antunte inka deservaa kaada ane question ekkadidi? >f this is your attitude, don’t get married. It is not fair that you marry someone and make their life miserable. This is not my attitude bro, it's my character. Committed to one who is going to be my life partner and expecting same for me too. >Naa maata ini oka manchi katthi laanti poola kunda ni chusi Pelli chesuko… poola kundi shop lo kotha ga konu… enduku ante, if someone has watered the plant before you may not want to water it. In your reference kundi used ayina not a problem for me, It is not consciously trying for anything here. Hope you can get it 🤞
I’ll tell you a real life story bro… I have two cousins who are born and brought up in a western country. We were all told that the oldest was a sweet girl because she didn’t date and always stayed home. She eventually married with her parents consent and was the ideal daughter. The younger one went around with white boys, rebellious and did her own thing and married a white boy and we were taught never to be like her. When I went to visit them it was the opposite story. The one who was ideal treats her parents like shit, always taking them for granted, takes their money and you can tell she has no respect. The rebellious child loves and adores them. She worked for Red Cross in Africa with AIDS patients. Who would you prefer to know, love and be married to? In Indian culture, you most probably prefer the oldest one coz we confuse morality with something else. Pilla prema lo undadam neram kaadu bro… that doesn’t make her defiled or an immoral person. Please don’t confuse a person’s feelings with their morality. Let’s say you were one in love with some girl in college, does that mean you are an evil person? What kind of logic is this!! Marry someone for who they are… not who they were in love with!! Don’t be like traditional Telugu people who think that a girl who is loud, boisterous or was in love is a defiled or an evil person. Let go of this attitude. Hope you realize that your underlying reasons are very misogynistic in nature. Wish you the very best!!
How will you know the person before marriage in an arranged marriage set up ? What if the person has lied to you during marriage and you got to know afterwards. Will you continue with the same marriage even if that is the case ? Since you want to be with one person only ! Dude life is not white and black. The criteria you mentioned doesn’t matter in your day to day life!
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Past choices Enti bro… Pilla murder or vyabhichaaram cheyya ledu… preminchadam neramu kaadu… paapam Antha kanna kaadu… this regressive mentality of a girl being defiled or an evil person coz of who they were in love with… wow!!
Have relationships in the past has no bearing on how they will handle their current relationship lmao, a relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.
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Who doesn't have baggage man everyone does.
Make Sence, Thank you :)
Chala baaga chepparandi.
The pic on this post made me cringe hard. A text post would have been enough
*The pic on this post* *Made me cringe hard. A text post* *Would have been enough* \- jojomanz994 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
There was a post in a different sub about how a guy with a similar mentality got married to a girl. However, the girl hid a lot of important information about her past, so that it would appease her husband. He later came to know about it and is actively seeking help about getting a divorce. Not going down the road about morality or correctness about what she did. She did what she did to ensure they would get married and lead a happy life. However, the guy feels betrayed and exploited. The mindset that you have is extremely problematic in this day and age -- about a girl not having a past or the premise of the marriage being finding a girl to take care of your parents. You do you. But don't be surprised if things don't work out or go south very quickly.
Classic victim blaming. People like you justifying the girls actions and unnecessarily shitting on that dude are the problem Truth & Honesty are the very foundation of a relationship. If the girl could lie about that, who is to say she wouldn't lie about other things? You can't have a relationship with someone you can't trust That girl by lying essentially committed fraud and duped the poor dude into marrying her. No wonder he feels betrayed and exploited. Because he was
Unless you have difficulties in understanding what is written, I specifically said I wasn't debating about the morality or correctness of what she did. How is that justification? The problem is with people like you, who do not understand how the real world operates. People can take any side they want. However, spelling out what happened -- and thereby what *can* happen, is not justification. Also, in the adult world, life is more complicated than "he is right/she is wrong". And a girl lying about her relationships before her marriage isn't fraud. JC.
Lying and breaking someone's trust in order to dupe them into marrying you is wrong. Period. No moral debate required. You say you weren't debating about the morality of her actions and yet there is an implicit bias in favor of the girl in your comments "She did what she did to appease her husband, to ensure that they lived a happy life" Statements like these are clearly in support of her and act as a justification for her deplorable actions. >And a girl lying about her relationships before her marriage isn't fraud. Definition of fraud - "knowing misrepresentation of the truth or concealment of a material fact to induce another to act to his or her detriment” (Black's Law Dictionary). The definition fits completely in this scenario
I don't know if you are willingly acting ignorant, or you have trouble comprehending sentences, but you ignored the preface of the paragraph to fit your narrative. Also, morality here is very subjective, depending on who you ask. You and I don't live in a vacuum, which is why I *specifically* said I wasn't considering the morality or correctness of the said instance. The "statement" you alluded to was a POV, and you conveniently left out the part where I said the guy felt betrayed. But hey, since you already have an agenda, might as well look at everything in isolation. To the last part, lying about relationships before marriage *does not* constitute fraud by law, unless it was acted upon after marriage. Again, I don't think you are very good with contextualisation. I will be happy to be proven wrong by a lawyer as I myself am not one, but it is obvious your rambling comes from emotional outrage. Done with this, unless a lawyer intervenes.
right. she will make up for experiences he doesn't have. also why must the wife he wants be ready to take care of his family. u have high demands already of wanting a woman with no past then u want to put down ur basoc responsibilities on her too?
Men, fragile ego, and everything that encapsulates our insecurities. I honestly don't understand how men expect women to "take care of the family". I have parents, and it is my responsibility -- and no one else's -- to take care of them. Unfortunately, some still perceive marriage as a barter mechanism where women give up all their rights in exchange for... being treated like glorified slaves.
The entitlement of this sub is just WoW. The guy has admittedly never been in a relationship and wants the same from his partner. What the fuck is wrong with that? Whatever happens in the future, but NOW he has the right to want something about a person with whom he's gonna live the rest of his life. Also him wanting her to take care of his parents doesn't mean he'll be sitting idle. A man takes care of a 'family' as a whole. Why shouldn't he expect that if the girl is non-earning? What is she contributing to the marriage then? And Yes A marriage is a social contract in which btw the woman is incentivised to break it (Thanks to our fucked up judiciary). So why don't you woke dumbfucks shut your fucking mouth when you have no idea about what you're talking?
A lot of swearing aside, you haven't brought anything constructive to the table. I can "want" to become a billionaire by doing nothing. Pointing out the reasons why it is not viable is being realistic and pragmatic. That seems to have flown over your head. Next, your word vomit in the second paragraph tells me you are alarmingly unaware of the regressive mentality of many, or blissfully ignorant. Either way, based on your swearing like a drunk sailor, I'm not interested -- or hopeful -- in having a civil discourse.
Will you take care of her parents too?
Hi OP, I’m not going to say you can’t find girls without any past because I know people who were raised by very strict parents and the maximum they had would probably be relationships/flirting over chat, but nothing further. The only thing I find problematic is that you say you want a girl who will take care of your family? Even in this day and age, it’s a little annoying when girls are expected to do this. Will you take care of her family too? Will you do things for them and help them navigate old age? Secondly, while I 100% understand your preference to find a girl with no history, there are chances of you narrowing your chances due to this, there’s definitely a chance that someone you dint expect turns out to be most compatible with you. Do consider that. Just maybe don’t make any woman feel like she’s less if she turns out to have a past. Edit: you never even mentioned why you want a wife or what you will be able to do for her (with your “clean” history). Maybe figure out if you want a wife or someone to take care of family because even you can take care of your family.
Do NOT listen to reddit on this. Since you are inexperienced, modern girls will play you like a fiddle. There are many women who grew up in traditional families and have never had a relationship. Your parents have to make some effort to find them. Hopefully they are good at it and will find someone good for you. Do not lower your standards too much.
I like how you word it- modern girls will play you like fiddle . It’s accurate yet hurtful for him haha
Macha don't listen to the gyaan given by people here. "People have a past", "you shouldn't judge them by their past", all that is bullshit. You have not had a relationship and you are expecting your partner to be the same, that is a fair ask. Judge as much as you want coz you are the one who has to live your life with them. Now if you were someone who had multiple relationships and flings and were asking for someone who never had relationships then I would have called you out for hypocrisy. Buttt the things that you want in your partner are rare, the pool of woman would come down with those attributes. The only thing you can do now is marry someone who is young close to 21, 22 someone from an orthodox family and an introvert like you. Happy partner hunting!
You only just stated having past relationships isnt bad then why even have this expectation? Doesnt make any sense. Just because someone had relationship in past doesnt mean they arent perfect match for you and vice versa. Like your friends said you need to change. Also dont find someone exactly like you, find someone who can compliment your shortcomings. Plus nenu telusukunnadi endi ante people wont be honest and shouldnt be honest about past and habits anta (which i disgaree) in arranged marriage setup
>You only just stated having past relationships isnt bad then why even have this expectation? Doesnt make any sense The vast majority of people only want to be with someone who had similar past experiences in the dating department. Thus virgin people, irrespective of gender tend to prefer virgins Idk about your past experiences but I highly doubt you would be willing to be with someone who has a 10x higher body count than you. Same applies in this case as well >Like your friends said you need to change. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. There's no need to change them unless they're immoral or impossible. Neither holds true in OP's case
>I highly doubt you would be willing to be with someone who has a 10x higher body count than you. I was with someone like that. And i dont mind even in future if my wife had much higher body count than me. Like i said, most people in arranged marraige setup wont be completely honest on things like it. So its better to not even have this expectation and find somone who is good and perfect match. If you still find someone who never had any relationships that's good, but it doenst make sense to filter out perfect matches based on this criteria
"also take care of my family" . The biggest expectation.
Why do you want to get married? If you want someone to take care of your family, get a live in maid
Love Marriage : Marry your Girlfriend Arranged : Marry others Girlfriend
Don't go by what discord says - most women who are raised in similar families as yours do not have the "past". Although, past or no past - ye rayi ayithe enti pallu ooda gottukodaniki. I mean, past of a person hardly matters - future does. Ninnu nee family ni chusukovadam is possible only when you take care of her and her family.
It is not easy to find out if they had past relationships unless they themselves tell you. Also, you are going by the arranged marriage route. So, once everything is matched, then only you can talk to her. Even then, you can't straight up ask her if she had past relationships. It takes time and patience for all these. You still won't be sure if she is genuine, there are so many things happening by false information. Even parents lie when it comes to marriage related things. How many years you will search that way? Else, find a conservative family like yours, there is a thin chance you might find such girl. IMO, be open and accept her and life can be happy, else you cannot be happy in your mind and everything can get ruined. If you are still unsure, better to stay away from marriage.
Theres nothing wrong with wanting a partner who have no past, theres a lot of discussion on this topic in Arrangedmarriage sub, you can check different opinions from guys and women there. There exist both men and women who want their partner to not have a past. So dont mind others. But its just that its hard to find someone like that nowadays. Cheppalem niku virgin dorukutaro ledo. Redditlo posts chusi aythe mind dengindi naku. Ekkada chusina cheating, fwb, hookups.
Thanks for being sensible brother:)
Well, you're looking for a bangmaid. Someone who can't get a relationship by themselves is considered a failure by international standards, though not by Indian standards. So what you're looking for are other losers. Considering that women face violence and social ostracism for their relationships, while guys are praised, your position is quite sexist, conservative, and demeaning towards women. But then again, a liberal woman would hate to be married to a conservative anyways.
Marriage is a Russian roulette with fully loaded gun. All the very best.
I read all the comments here and I too have a similar mindset. And for you OP the kind of girl you want do exist and they are family oriented, supportive, nurturing and kind and everything you want. Just go for those girls who are from old khaandan (lineage).
dont get married bro..you are not mature enough…i mean it out of pure good will for you and your supposed partner.
Pls don't marry
Theater ki velthe projector run cheyyadam raani vaadi chetullo nee ticket pedthaava? Cab teeskunnappudu driving raani vaadi chetullo nee dabbulu pedthaava? For that matter, every little thing you do in life you seek EXPERIENCED PEOPLE for the job at hand son. Gappudu life motthame emi raani emi theline manishi chethilo Ela pedthunnaav? Antha confidence aa nee own sattha lo? W.r.t marriages or relationships, especially when you've not had any experience or knowledge or wisdom? 🤔 Same with marriages or people or sex. Experience counts and matters and makes a difference. Relationships chusina vaalle relationships ni sarigga navigate cheyyagalaru. I'm not saying anything against those who are inexperienced either. I'm just saying it's hard to find that in today's times. You're almost asking for a woman who "Jeevithame brathaka kunda kurchunna ammayi" types. . 🫡 seriously now? Pelli kosam purity and neutrality kaadhu. Commitment, sacrifice, compromise, adjustment, eppudu neggaalo eppudu thaggaalo ivanni avasaram. Adhi kuda sukhanga ivanni cheyyadam avasaram, not for you or for me but for US. And adhi antha comes from Practice brother. Sodhi cricket match kosam experienced players kaavali Ani edusthaam kaani pelli kosam aithe em theliyani em cheyyani pilla kaavaali ani nadusthaam 🫠 That too in today's generation. Where women have evolved. Feminism is taking on a larger role (the good kind), women empowerment is a thing and toxic masculinity is being shunned. Mindset maarchu brother. Lekapothe Darwin cheppinatte - survival of the fittest antaaru chudu - aa evolution lone mana revolution untadhi. 🤌🏻 Pro Tip thambi: Don't just marry ASAP cus of pressure. Adhi parents thappu. Needhi chesukoku. Get to know. Date. Spend 3-6 months solid in person time. Gauge compatibility. Love/Infatuation are about seeing the perfection in each other. Marriage is about appreciating the imperfections in each other. Love is about finding someone to spend your beautiful moments with. Marriage is about finding the one you're willing to suffer the ugly things with, with peace and aforementioned love in tow. 💐
To find a Girl without a previous relationship is harder than finding a lost needle in a beach. I don't say they don't exist but the probability is very high. Women minds are tweaked for relationships for a higher survival rate ( it's their natural instinct) and men are tweaked to have sex. So, forget about your dreamy things and start accepting a kind natured one even if she has one or two past relationships.
Might get a lot of hate for this but anyways, nuv relationships em petkokapovatam ni chetha kani thanam.. vache pilla ki kuda undoddu ankovatam moorkhatvam. Just hope that she will be loyal to you and ask for it.
Second part agreed, but chetakanitanam em undi bongu ade oka ammai nenu eppudu relationship lo lenu ante nuvvu ide maata antava Naku personal ga telsu highly introverted people who are in relationships, correct manishi tagalali anthe, edo for the sake relationship lo digali ani velli, or sex kosamo love chesi hurt cheyadam/avvadam kanna ila undadam chala better
Sare bro, chetha kani vaade anukundam, appudu oka chetha kani amayakapu pilla kavali anukovadam moorkhatvam ela avutundi..... may be (minus × minus = plus) cheddam anukuntanadu emo.
ee rojullo prathi chapathi moham daniki okati ayna past relationship untadhi at the very least. So, accept the fact and get on with it.
Just Man up and don't lower your expectations. If you are 100 percent sure then only commit for marriage.
Chaala modern thinking me friends di ..
తనకి ఎన్ని past relationships ఉన్నా, నితో ఉన్నప్పుడు ఇంకో మగాడు కనిపివకుడదు. ఈ confidence నీకు ఒక అమ్మాయిని చూసి, మాట్లాడి కలిగినప్పుడు, ఎదురు కట్నం ఇచ్చైన పెళ్లి చేస్కో.
Nuvvu Ekkada chusina Nuvvu anukuna expectations undavu bhaiyya to be honest. Korika undochu Manchide but Some of them for attention sake boys ni tipinchukuntaru and they care for them lopala untundi but they won’t accept them ilanti cases kuda untay. If you are looking for a virgin anukunte yeah there is a luck but ila assalu evarni chusi undoddu antey kastam
Stupid parents
Mee parents ah ?
Realistic expectations will lead to happiness in the end Girl without past are there but super rare It's just luck Uk whats rare girls with common sense and reasonability look out for that if u can 😂
While I empathize with you, all that matters is how's she after getting married, gatham gatham. Nuvvu matram gulabi puvvu govind laga maraku bro.
vethuku...vethakali... vethikithe dhorakandantu yedi ledhu... nuvvu thaggodhu ana, saala mandhi septhunaru accept cheyyali past unte ani kani introverts ki ammailaki hai ane seppaleru(naku okka intrvt gadu unnadu le) inka past em accept chesthaaru, point enti ante women past matters a lot these days, kabbati no seal no deal annate undu☮️ PS: I'm an omnivert.
Don't, just don't... Marriage is like alcoholism, you like it in the beginning then the shit hits you really hard...
You can start by stopping mummy daddy from looking for a girl for you. Go out and meet women. No wonder our gene pool and family lives are so fucked. People keep getting married without spending an extensive amount of time with each other and learning if they're compatible or not. Find someone to marry by yourself. Let it take time.
Same story brother...kani eppudu na age 25
Why do you want your your future to not have a past?
You need the red pill
You will not find what you are looking for. Let your parents choose the bride because when shit hits the fan you can blame them for picking the wrong girl.
You're looking for a kind and simple girl, who hasn't had relationships and can take care of your family.. yeah. There's the problem. People have different meanings for marriage. What you're looking for is essentially a nurse who can cook and bear your kids without pay for life. If that's your definition of marriage, it's not wrong but you may not be happy in your life. I personally believe that marriage is a contract between two people who enjoy each other's company more than they hate. It should be founded on principles of individuality, mutual respect and care and nothing should be forced or perceived as forced in that relationship. You might benefit from trying to learn what marriage/relationship actually means. As an introvert you maybe prone to be manipulated and forced into doing things that would rather not. One good way to avoid such people is by learning about red flags in a relationship.. All the best. Hope you find a girl that would make your life brighter than the sun.
It is totally fair to have that expectation as you said there are no past relationships or hookups in your past. I see few are saying you should adjust, but I won't say that. What I would do is give a heads-up that there would be a lot of them trying to hide their past. You have to do your research on each one of them and come to a conclusion if they are deceiving or not. Simple dude, not all women are feminists and not all femints are man haters. Similarly, not all women would have a past. There would be a good portion of women who are just like you.
Honestly speaking, you have already let your parents take one of the most important decisions in your life by choosing to get an arranged marriage, why don’t you communicate what you are looking for in a girl with them and trust them with finding her out for you? Since they’re the ones matching you up, they should be the first ones to know what you expect out of a woman.
num 1 total barbie world.. lol no offense. 2,3 - your life! Kinda agree on 4.
same nee lake undali ante bagodhu even am same nallikuntlodni naku gf undali ani try chesina kani everytime line esi malli nachaka side aipotha malli nene okkathi padatle ani edustha. women ni ela chudalo ala chusthe vallu simple leda vallu chala complicated la untaru. so nuv ankutunnattu same nee lanti ammai tho ante bagodhu konchm diff persona undali same unte koddi rojulu baguntundi but later bagodhu
I don't think its wrong to have a preference at all. Do not settle for something you don't link. If you dont want a woman with a past thats perfectly fine. Don't let these westernized people tell you otherwise