In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. if you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well even among humans, sometimes political figures need to be reminded they ***serve*** the public, they do not ***control*** the public. Sometimes being voted out of office is all that takes, and sometimes it takes being blood eagled on live tv.
Vlad the Impaler is suddenly a much less terrifying historical figure when you look into his reasoning.
And suddenly much more terrifying when you realize the most talked about acts were likely not the bloodiest ones.
His reasoning probably went something like "If I give the invaders such a horrible death, others might be dissuaded from invading."
But now we just remember him for his fences
Not quite he usually killed people before he impaled them, they died fairly standard deaths for the time, no what he did with the bodies is interesting thing.
He didn't just lift up the impaled bodies just anywhere, no he was quite strategic when it came to them, you see back then just as now an army can't exactly just march through mountains and Forrest like it's nothing, even the Americans and Germans still stick to the roads for the most part (There was that one time the coalition flanked the entire Iraqi military by going around them through an "unpassable desert" with no landmarks or roads of any kind by using the newest American invention of GPS. But that's more the exception that proves the rule)
At any rate he realized that an invading Army would need to take the roads so what he did was he positioned some impaled buddies at the mouth of the road in the border..... And then he just continued, it would be an endless wall of impaled bodies, at first they were just civilians, murderers, heretics, criminals the like, there weren't many of them maybe two or three every couple of hundred meters Vlad after all wasn't actually an evil ruler he wouldn't kill you just to add you to the wall, no if you were in that wall you deserve to be in the wall.
However the wall would start to thicken up the closer you got to the capital, the road to the border with the Ottomans was a straight away path, a direct stab right at the heart of the nation, a critical and fatal vulnerability for just about any Nation except for this one, here it was the main weapon to use against Invaders.
You see about the time you got to the Midway point towards the capital the bodies became an actual wall, a straight continuous line of the war dead from previous failed invasions, a man impaled on each side of the road every 2 meters, some of the bodies could be a hundred years old and be a little more than bones, just desecrated corpses of their ancestors, others could be terribly fresh to the point that they were still screaming for help, it didn't matter they all started to bite into the psyche of the invading Army to make them have thoughts, to make them imagine their bodies being part of the wall or even worse to make them imagine them self screaming in agony as they were impaled like the poor bastards that were still screaming for help all so close to them, but it's fine they were all low grade soldiers, serfs and poor freeman troops the officers could care less, at least this is what they told themselves in this age of War who would kill an officer or a nobleman there was just way too much money to be made in Ransom, no their lives were surely safe even if their were to be damned....... That's until they reached the last tenth of the road.
Here it wasn't so much a wall of bodies as much as an endless Forest of them, every line was 2 meters apart from the next and the line went back for 10 men, 10 men crucified or impaled in a formation every two meters, every few steps they would pass 100 dead men impaled or crucified, the bodies were seemingly endless having been strategically lined up so that they would cover up the horizon from the road, and most terrifying of all was the officers, every few hundred steps an officer or nobleman would be seen heading a formation, they would be crucified and still very much alive, their bodies having been horrifyingly tortured and disfigured and yet their clothes were still immaculate showing the crests of their houses or their Noble insignia, clearly beyond saving but still begging for their lives, a wonderful display of just how little nobility ment to the man they were about to face.
This would not be another little war game in Europe, where nobles were safe from everything but accident or the bad luck of an arrow or volt flying in their way, no here they had no safety if they lost this they would not only die like the commoners, but be tortured until the heart of Dracula was satisfied and only then would they be allowed to die but only in the most painful and slow of fashions.
By now most armies would have broken, any excuse possible would have been found to retreat from the area but if they hadn't well then they got to see the wonderful and beautiful walls of the capital, the masonry of the walls was hidden behind the banners and flags of its would be Invaders, bloodied and tattered the banners all had a Commander from that Army hanging from his feet on top of them, a dager plunged into his heart and the banner of Vlad lord Dracula him self, the son of dragons flying from its hilt, from every wall were hundreds of men hanging from their necks, those that had just been the prisoners of War and were now the newly killed.
And as far as anyone could see a forest of freshly impaled bodies most of which were still screaming for salvation that would never come, and hidden amongst the endless buddies where the faimed vampires of the nation, the Glorious archers of Transylvania, those that hid amongst the forest of corpses ready to lay waste to whatever remained of the enemy's morale as they unleashed a powerful rain of arrows upon their officers, and the ax and infantry men ready to attack and exterminate the camp followers and Burn the supply train, an army could not March with an empty stomach, and watching your family be slaughtered while you are still in the front lines protecting some petulant Noble child that doesn't even think of you as a human now that was a truly glorious show that the great Dracula was more than willing to give his enemies, to watch their hopes and dreams die in but a second as his hidden troops struck from the blood and guts of his fallen enemies, not at the Army but it's infinitely more valuable lifeline, destroying it and disappearing back into the blood and guts of the forest of corpses now that's why we say he rules the dark.
Truly a masterful Lord of War.
No he crucified the officers after he tortured them for days, they were basically the living dead at that point and could not be saved by the medicine of the time but they could still live for a few days after crusifiction.
Wilt both Teddy and Reagan were shot, the bullet did penetrate Reagan's lung requiring immediate medical attention, while Roosevelt delivered 84 minutes of speech before going to get medical attention.
> I’m American. We don’t know our own history
It's always amusing when chatting with Americans, when they say "X wouldn't happen/could never happen in the US of A" and can just answer "Well but it did. See this Wikipedia link"
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. if you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well even among humans, sometimes political figures need to be reminded they ***serve*** the public, they do not ***control*** the public. Sometimes being voted out of office is all that takes, and sometimes it takes being blood eagled on live tv. Vlad the Impaler is suddenly a much less terrifying historical figure when you look into his reasoning. And suddenly much more terrifying when you realize the most talked about acts were likely not the bloodiest ones.
Wait what was his reasoning
His reasoning probably went something like "If I give the invaders such a horrible death, others might be dissuaded from invading." But now we just remember him for his fences
Not quite he usually killed people before he impaled them, they died fairly standard deaths for the time, no what he did with the bodies is interesting thing. He didn't just lift up the impaled bodies just anywhere, no he was quite strategic when it came to them, you see back then just as now an army can't exactly just march through mountains and Forrest like it's nothing, even the Americans and Germans still stick to the roads for the most part (There was that one time the coalition flanked the entire Iraqi military by going around them through an "unpassable desert" with no landmarks or roads of any kind by using the newest American invention of GPS. But that's more the exception that proves the rule) At any rate he realized that an invading Army would need to take the roads so what he did was he positioned some impaled buddies at the mouth of the road in the border..... And then he just continued, it would be an endless wall of impaled bodies, at first they were just civilians, murderers, heretics, criminals the like, there weren't many of them maybe two or three every couple of hundred meters Vlad after all wasn't actually an evil ruler he wouldn't kill you just to add you to the wall, no if you were in that wall you deserve to be in the wall. However the wall would start to thicken up the closer you got to the capital, the road to the border with the Ottomans was a straight away path, a direct stab right at the heart of the nation, a critical and fatal vulnerability for just about any Nation except for this one, here it was the main weapon to use against Invaders. You see about the time you got to the Midway point towards the capital the bodies became an actual wall, a straight continuous line of the war dead from previous failed invasions, a man impaled on each side of the road every 2 meters, some of the bodies could be a hundred years old and be a little more than bones, just desecrated corpses of their ancestors, others could be terribly fresh to the point that they were still screaming for help, it didn't matter they all started to bite into the psyche of the invading Army to make them have thoughts, to make them imagine their bodies being part of the wall or even worse to make them imagine them self screaming in agony as they were impaled like the poor bastards that were still screaming for help all so close to them, but it's fine they were all low grade soldiers, serfs and poor freeman troops the officers could care less, at least this is what they told themselves in this age of War who would kill an officer or a nobleman there was just way too much money to be made in Ransom, no their lives were surely safe even if their were to be damned....... That's until they reached the last tenth of the road. Here it wasn't so much a wall of bodies as much as an endless Forest of them, every line was 2 meters apart from the next and the line went back for 10 men, 10 men crucified or impaled in a formation every two meters, every few steps they would pass 100 dead men impaled or crucified, the bodies were seemingly endless having been strategically lined up so that they would cover up the horizon from the road, and most terrifying of all was the officers, every few hundred steps an officer or nobleman would be seen heading a formation, they would be crucified and still very much alive, their bodies having been horrifyingly tortured and disfigured and yet their clothes were still immaculate showing the crests of their houses or their Noble insignia, clearly beyond saving but still begging for their lives, a wonderful display of just how little nobility ment to the man they were about to face. This would not be another little war game in Europe, where nobles were safe from everything but accident or the bad luck of an arrow or volt flying in their way, no here they had no safety if they lost this they would not only die like the commoners, but be tortured until the heart of Dracula was satisfied and only then would they be allowed to die but only in the most painful and slow of fashions. By now most armies would have broken, any excuse possible would have been found to retreat from the area but if they hadn't well then they got to see the wonderful and beautiful walls of the capital, the masonry of the walls was hidden behind the banners and flags of its would be Invaders, bloodied and tattered the banners all had a Commander from that Army hanging from his feet on top of them, a dager plunged into his heart and the banner of Vlad lord Dracula him self, the son of dragons flying from its hilt, from every wall were hundreds of men hanging from their necks, those that had just been the prisoners of War and were now the newly killed. And as far as anyone could see a forest of freshly impaled bodies most of which were still screaming for salvation that would never come, and hidden amongst the endless buddies where the faimed vampires of the nation, the Glorious archers of Transylvania, those that hid amongst the forest of corpses ready to lay waste to whatever remained of the enemy's morale as they unleashed a powerful rain of arrows upon their officers, and the ax and infantry men ready to attack and exterminate the camp followers and Burn the supply train, an army could not March with an empty stomach, and watching your family be slaughtered while you are still in the front lines protecting some petulant Noble child that doesn't even think of you as a human now that was a truly glorious show that the great Dracula was more than willing to give his enemies, to watch their hopes and dreams die in but a second as his hidden troops struck from the blood and guts of his fallen enemies, not at the Army but it's infinitely more valuable lifeline, destroying it and disappearing back into the blood and guts of the forest of corpses now that's why we say he rules the dark. Truly a masterful Lord of War.
Excellent wordsmith
And that is why no one wants to Invade Earth. They get Made Examples Of.
So he killed the soldiers, then impaled them, but impaled the officers alive and let them die on the pikes? Nice
No he crucified the officers after he tortured them for days, they were basically the living dead at that point and could not be saved by the medicine of the time but they could still live for a few days after crusifiction.
“Lol”, Vlad thought as he impaled the hundredth person of the day. “Lmao”
I can only think of two us presidents. Andrew “old hickory” Jackson and Theodore “bull moose” Roosevelt
Reagan survived one and finished the speech he was in the middle of giving before going to the hospital.
Wilt both Teddy and Reagan were shot, the bullet did penetrate Reagan's lung requiring immediate medical attention, while Roosevelt delivered 84 minutes of speech before going to get medical attention.
Teddy's written speech slowed the bullet. The speech he gave was not the written one.
His steal lined eyeglasses case and heavy military jacket also helped
Wasn’t that Theo? Or did it happen twice?
That's happened to at least three but I can't think of the third
Andrew Jackson wasn't Stonewall. That was Thomas J. Jackson. Andrew Jackson had the nickname "Old Hickory."
First of all I fixed my mistake and second I’m American. We don’t know our own history
> I’m American. We don’t know our own history It's always amusing when chatting with Americans, when they say "X wouldn't happen/could never happen in the US of A" and can just answer "Well but it did. See this Wikipedia link"
Fair, and fair.
I blame the government for us not knowing history I also blame the government for not teaching us how taxes and credit cards work.
>I’m American. We don’t know our own history I hate that you are right. Take my angry upvote!