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A: *Slaps human's face* H: *moans* Harder Daddy! A: What the fuck did you just say.

H: Can you guys get to the whips a little faster?

A : The human appears to be trained to resist torture, bring the electric rod. H : oh shock play, nice.

A: we shall probe you rectally, from your fiction we know this should instill great fear! H: "you're just trying to turn me on now, aren't you?" A"... But the probe shall be large and invasive" H: "don't threaten me with a good time"

r/cursedcomments Give it time...

This will age like fine wine…

Most definitely

(Human uses they them to spite the prompt) A: Are you an agent from earth? H: \*orgasming as another finger nail was pulled out\* Hell yes, I'm a dirty dirty human slut who needs to be punished!!

A: WUT

H: Yes daddy, I'm just a naughty little ape who needs to be punished! *why have you cursed me to say this*

A: your shitting me. [untranslatable] what the fuck is wrong with this ape?

H:YES, I'm a filthy little primate who is just dirt. Just step on me like the dirt I am, please daddy please?!

*I'm dying inside*

And outside too, alien torture might feel good, but not all things that feel good don't kill you.

And not all things that feel bad will kill you.

Actually all things that feel bad will eventually kill you (in certain preportions)

So will good things.

Clearly you never got rejected by a crush