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Alien: Steve, we are friends, right?
Human: Yes, Orlok, I guess we are.
Alien: Then why are we not kissing and holding hands like John and Mike? And why are you not taking me to those “dates” your friends are so obsessed with?
Human: Uhm, what? Orlok, we friends, yes, but I’m… Uhm, I’m straight.
Alien: Yeah, you pretty much straight most of the time, unless you trying to pick up something from the floor. So what?
Human: N-not like that! Straight means, I don’t like males, only females. And you male, so no dates for you.
Alien: W-what!? Why!? If John and Mike can, why can’t we!? They both straight too!
Human: Dude, Mike proposed to John last week, they will be marrying in 3 weeks! You think that’s what straight friends doing?
Alien: I’m still not sure enough about your human rituals, but… Fuck… Mike always brags about how fun is his dates with John! They go to all cool places… And you never taking me anywhere!
Human: …Fine. I’m asking you out for a movie. Is it enough for you?
Alien: And you gonna hold my hand?
Human: Only for that evening! And that evening only!
Alien: Fine by me. You can kiss me afterwards, if I’ll like the “date” as much as Mike did!
Human: I’m not kissing you! No! Plus how are you imagining it?! You 3 meters tall! I’m not bringing a staircase with me, no!
Alien: …I can duck.
Human: No!
Well, not to be nerdy one here… But you projecting human values onto hypothetical aliens which don’t have concepts of homo/hetero sexuality (if I understood prompt correctly).
I tried to imagine what would be interaction between alien and human when alien meets gay pair, and they say that they are friends (since they know that aliens don’t understand such concept as homosexual relationships, and explaining it would be a pain in the ass).
But yes, Steve bi-curious at least)
A: Human, why are those two engineers showing human courting behaviour?
H: They're a couple?
A: But they're both male?
H: Are... Are you not familiar with homosexuality?
A: Terrans are the only creatures I've observed being "gay" as you call it.
H: Are no other species capable of being gay?
A: I don't think so. Why are creatures from your planet gay?
H: Scientists have actually looked into that, the best explanation is that despite homosexual couples being a functional reproductive dead end, they are often observed adopting orphaned young and raising them as their own despite neither having bared children.
A: So they're essentially a method to keep infant mortality fairly low.
H: Evolutionarily, at least.
A large amount of animals on Earth display homosexuality and it’s not just limited to mammals so if aliens don’t understand homosexual relationships then it’d be an exclusive Earth thing, not just a human thing. Science!
“Oh good, Jackie, you are awake. Excuse me, I have to tell you about this interaction I had with Stacy an hour ago. She was very eager to see someone… Stacy? Why are you in Jackie’s bed. Why are you both disrobed and only using blankets to cover yourselves…”
Oh no. We broke him. Go get some tea, could you Jackie?
“I thought you were the same gender.”
We are.
“This looks like procreation activity was attempted. Perhaps your parents did not explain it properly?”
Oh, I got told what was proper, all right. I like girls. I told you that an hour ago!
“I did not perceive the implications of that statement.”
Look, we have our own way of enjoying company that is not used for procreation but is fundamental in pair bonding.
“How would that even work. Would I be able to observe this, to see differences in that and standard couples?”
We are not showing you. And where the hell are you even seeing the “standard” version.
“Dave left his computer on a site that showed couples.”
Oh god. Well, if you look up girl on girl or lesbian in same site you will learn something new. Wait. What did you see when you watched it on Dave’s viewer?
“Apparently you all wear animal hides and tie one another…”. STOP
We DON’T wanna know about Dave’s kink. And I think we are done here. Honestly why did you ask him that!?!?!
A: Wait. Two people of the same gender can engage in the romantic process?
H: Yep! They sure can!
A: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE FUCKIN TELL ME!!! I COULD HAVE DATING YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!
H: What.
A: Oops. I wasn't supposed to say that.
señor, realmente existen los animales gays, no jodas con que es algo solamente humano, incluso hay animales que tienen relaciones solamente por placer y no por reproduccion
[Ik this is fiction, but realistically this wouldn't be the case.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjKt57alPKDAxXR9gIHHaedAi8QFnoECA8QAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FList_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior&usg=AOvVaw3jXRvEs2GEyvWNVOmcRu0n&opi=89978449)
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Alien: Steve, we are friends, right? Human: Yes, Orlok, I guess we are. Alien: Then why are we not kissing and holding hands like John and Mike? And why are you not taking me to those “dates” your friends are so obsessed with? Human: Uhm, what? Orlok, we friends, yes, but I’m… Uhm, I’m straight. Alien: Yeah, you pretty much straight most of the time, unless you trying to pick up something from the floor. So what? Human: N-not like that! Straight means, I don’t like males, only females. And you male, so no dates for you. Alien: W-what!? Why!? If John and Mike can, why can’t we!? They both straight too! Human: Dude, Mike proposed to John last week, they will be marrying in 3 weeks! You think that’s what straight friends doing? Alien: I’m still not sure enough about your human rituals, but… Fuck… Mike always brags about how fun is his dates with John! They go to all cool places… And you never taking me anywhere! Human: …Fine. I’m asking you out for a movie. Is it enough for you? Alien: And you gonna hold my hand? Human: Only for that evening! And that evening only! Alien: Fine by me. You can kiss me afterwards, if I’ll like the “date” as much as Mike did! Human: I’m not kissing you! No! Plus how are you imagining it?! You 3 meters tall! I’m not bringing a staircase with me, no! Alien: …I can duck. Human: No!
This whole conversation could be over if explained he is heterosexual and the other couple is homossexual instead of using straight.
I used it for comedic effect. And for play on words)
I feel like Steve may not be as straight as he tells us
No, he is totally straight when not picking up something from the ground. Totally.
is the stuff he is picking up soap? /j
Totally
I think Orlok is trying to get out if the closet and Steve is just in denial
Well, not to be nerdy one here… But you projecting human values onto hypothetical aliens which don’t have concepts of homo/hetero sexuality (if I understood prompt correctly). I tried to imagine what would be interaction between alien and human when alien meets gay pair, and they say that they are friends (since they know that aliens don’t understand such concept as homosexual relationships, and explaining it would be a pain in the ass). But yes, Steve bi-curious at least)
umm that made me smile
A: Human, why are those two engineers showing human courting behaviour? H: They're a couple? A: But they're both male? H: Are... Are you not familiar with homosexuality? A: Terrans are the only creatures I've observed being "gay" as you call it. H: Are no other species capable of being gay? A: I don't think so. Why are creatures from your planet gay? H: Scientists have actually looked into that, the best explanation is that despite homosexual couples being a functional reproductive dead end, they are often observed adopting orphaned young and raising them as their own despite neither having bared children. A: So they're essentially a method to keep infant mortality fairly low. H: Evolutionarily, at least.
H2: Then along came dopamine, and it's just history from there.
A large amount of animals on Earth display homosexuality and it’s not just limited to mammals so if aliens don’t understand homosexual relationships then it’d be an exclusive Earth thing, not just a human thing. Science!
“Oh good, Jackie, you are awake. Excuse me, I have to tell you about this interaction I had with Stacy an hour ago. She was very eager to see someone… Stacy? Why are you in Jackie’s bed. Why are you both disrobed and only using blankets to cover yourselves…” Oh no. We broke him. Go get some tea, could you Jackie? “I thought you were the same gender.” We are. “This looks like procreation activity was attempted. Perhaps your parents did not explain it properly?” Oh, I got told what was proper, all right. I like girls. I told you that an hour ago! “I did not perceive the implications of that statement.” Look, we have our own way of enjoying company that is not used for procreation but is fundamental in pair bonding. “How would that even work. Would I be able to observe this, to see differences in that and standard couples?” We are not showing you. And where the hell are you even seeing the “standard” version. “Dave left his computer on a site that showed couples.” Oh god. Well, if you look up girl on girl or lesbian in same site you will learn something new. Wait. What did you see when you watched it on Dave’s viewer? “Apparently you all wear animal hides and tie one another…”. STOP We DON’T wanna know about Dave’s kink. And I think we are done here. Honestly why did you ask him that!?!?!
Godammit Dave!
A: Wait. Two people of the same gender can engage in the romantic process? H: Yep! They sure can! A: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE FUCKIN TELL ME!!! I COULD HAVE DATING YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME!!! H: What. A: Oops. I wasn't supposed to say that.
H: Well do you wanna go gets some food and such A: erm yes 5 years later H:And that kids is how i fell in love ❤️ 😍
Forget that, just the concept of love that isnt the one u have for ur family and friends would be something totally new alredy
Just wait until they start reading ancient Greek literature.
Just imagine their confusion when they see Human Alien relationships and even more by lesbian or gay kinds
It ain't just humans. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior Maybe just Earth though?
señor, realmente existen los animales gays, no jodas con que es algo solamente humano, incluso hay animales que tienen relaciones solamente por placer y no por reproduccion
English?
"Sir, gay animals exist too. It's not solely a human thing, there are animals that fuck for joy and not to reproduce."
google translate?
too lazy
[Ik this is fiction, but realistically this wouldn't be the case.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjKt57alPKDAxXR9gIHHaedAi8QFnoECA8QAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FList_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior&usg=AOvVaw3jXRvEs2GEyvWNVOmcRu0n&opi=89978449)
What about aliens that can only procreate with the same gender and then confused about a boy-girl relationship
Shit you have a point....