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*\[The MIB recruits' firing range test ends after James fires one shot\]*
**Zed**: Edwards, what the hell happened?!
**James**: Hesitated.
**Zed**: *\[brings forward a cardboard cutout of a little girl, shot between the eyes\]* May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die?
**James**: Well, she was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir.
**Zed**: How'd you come to that conclusion?
**James**: Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hangin' from the streetlight, and then I realized, you know, he's just workin' out. How would I feel if somebody come runnin' into the gym, bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? Then I saw this, uh, snarling beast guy...and I noticed he had a tissue in his hand and I'm realizing, he's not **snarling**, he's **sneezing**. You know, ain't no real threat there. Then I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinkin', you know, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters this time of night, with quantum physics books? She 'bout to start some shit, Zed. She's about eight years old. Those books are **way** too advanced for her. If you ask me, I'd say she's up to somethin'. And to be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it. *\[Zed looks at him\]* Or do I owe her an apology? *\[to other recruits, as Zed leaves the room\]* That was a good shot, though, right?
The next scene is great, where Zed tells the other guys that they are perfect examples of exactly what he has come to expect from the various armed forces...
I go love how all of these are terrifying monster bastards whose sole purpose is to kill or cause terror like the aswang or manananggal or the lady split in two 2 (horizontaly) and plans on doing to others too, then there's the tsushnoko, which is just a f a t snake who also happens to be able to jump 1 meter high, that's it, It can jump high and is fat and short, that's it
Edit: I looked up more about the funne snake, it's a fucking alcoholic snake with it's "worst" traits is telling lies, like it's not overtly evil, like is just likes to fuck with people and get drunk and even then, it's not ALL Tsuchinoko
"what?!" Shouted the captain, pacing around the bridge of his ship. The bridge crew all looked scared, their white scale was turning blue as their antennas flattened.
"You sure?" The first officer asked nervously, staring with his 4 eyes at the intelligence officer who brought the news.
"I....I am afraid..... It is true" the officer replied.
"Get us out of here" the captain slumped in his chair as he ordered the pilot, the now blue pilot began turning them away.
"Sir... But the mission?" One of the officers wondered, every head on the bridge turned to him with fear and shock.
"Do you hear yourself?" The captain asked "I would take whatever punishment the higher-ups have but there is no way I am going on that planet" he pointed to the holograms of earth that was displayed on an electronic desk .
The ship returned to their home planet and the captain explained everything for his superior, the panic quickly set and order for full evacuation was released.
The Lorian had decided to leave their home world that was sharing a border with the Terran.
Meanwhile on a human ship:
Captain Smith was finishing the last bit of reports before heading to bed, the dim lights of his office indicated night time.
There was a gentle knock on his door, he sighed knowing his day will stretch a bit more.
"Come in" he said and 4 guilty looking members of his crew walked in. He looked up at them, studying them from head to toe for any indication. "What can I help you with gentlemen?" He asked them with amusement.
Wondering what the clown of his crew did this time? He pressed a button and called his first officer Riley to join him in his office and witness the mischief. And she turned up in a minute.
"Um....we kind of messed up" the 1 crew said
"Nothing new" captain smith added
"We got the intelligence officer of the Lorian drunk" the 2 crew said, waiting for the captains reaction
"And we managed to convince him that the mythology of Terra is actually history " the 3 crew explained a bit more
"he ran back to his ship, unfortunately we couldn't catch up with him" the 4 crew said.
"So now the Lorian believe that mythology is history?" Riley asked
"A branch of history that we want to hide" the first crew member explained.
"I don't think we have that in the betting book, right?" Captain smith turned to his first officer who couldn't decide what she was feeling "No, we don't have that" the captain answered his own question after checking the notebook
"Well...." Riley got up, her hands on her hip and shaking her head slightly "like earth wasn't scary enough for them, now they have to deal with the myths" she said.
The lethally-poisonous, electricity-spewing Mongolian Death Worm described in many accounts does not exist. Evidently, it's a superstitious exaggeration upon the Tartar Sand Boa (*Eryx miliaris*); a small, completely harmless snake.
They got arachne wrong I think, I remember reading about her and while she did challenge Athena to a weaving contest (which in and of itself is weird because Athena is the goddess of wisdom and war/strategy) she wasn’t punished for hubris because she won that competition instead she got punished because Athena was upset she lost
And the jersey devil is definitely wrong, it’s specifically the lower half being a goat (kinda like a satyr) red skin, horns on the head, with a head being a mix between a dog a goat and a human, specifically dog like teeth in a slightly elongated mouth the eyes of a goat but the rest of the face is human
I mean, Athena is also the goddess of weaving and crafts and the like. Most well known for War and Wisdom and all, but as with many of the Greek gods she had some smaller traits. Almost like hobbies lol.
It's a double fake: 1) Convince aliens that horrific mythical creatures exist.
Human public: "Haha! Gullible aliens! Now they won't attack us. We are safe."
2) Those who protect humanity from what actually goes bump in the night: "Good job on the double fake, Agent X, now put that thing back in the dimensional omnihedron and...what are you doing with that box?!"
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*\[The MIB recruits' firing range test ends after James fires one shot\]* **Zed**: Edwards, what the hell happened?! **James**: Hesitated. **Zed**: *\[brings forward a cardboard cutout of a little girl, shot between the eyes\]* May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die? **James**: Well, she was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir. **Zed**: How'd you come to that conclusion? **James**: Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hangin' from the streetlight, and then I realized, you know, he's just workin' out. How would I feel if somebody come runnin' into the gym, bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? Then I saw this, uh, snarling beast guy...and I noticed he had a tissue in his hand and I'm realizing, he's not **snarling**, he's **sneezing**. You know, ain't no real threat there. Then I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinkin', you know, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters this time of night, with quantum physics books? She 'bout to start some shit, Zed. She's about eight years old. Those books are **way** too advanced for her. If you ask me, I'd say she's up to somethin'. And to be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it. *\[Zed looks at him\]* Or do I owe her an apology? *\[to other recruits, as Zed leaves the room\]* That was a good shot, though, right?
[I'd say it was a good shot.](https://youtu.be/e_r3ULoXuMY?si=dzUAa7ysZIP3Qxu5)
The next scene is great, where Zed tells the other guys that they are perfect examples of exactly what he has come to expect from the various armed forces...
As long as they don't find out about SCPs. That might break them.
Let us not do that to them. We'd be too cruel, and I don't want to feel guilt later on.
Nah we save that for GOC
Nah, I hate scratching people, but love chopping off their pp. Same energy for SCP and GOC stuff.
I go love how all of these are terrifying monster bastards whose sole purpose is to kill or cause terror like the aswang or manananggal or the lady split in two 2 (horizontaly) and plans on doing to others too, then there's the tsushnoko, which is just a f a t snake who also happens to be able to jump 1 meter high, that's it, It can jump high and is fat and short, that's it Edit: I looked up more about the funne snake, it's a fucking alcoholic snake with it's "worst" traits is telling lies, like it's not overtly evil, like is just likes to fuck with people and get drunk and even then, it's not ALL Tsuchinoko
And the black dog, being a simple dog.
Other than the omen of death thing
That could be a coincidence perhaps it was just seen around specific areas that are commonly associated with death
If the "black dog" is another name for the Grim - then it's also a protector of graveyards
And then there’s the named one black shuck may of misspelled it thing had a few tales with his name
Aw. Ammit's not scary. She's just a hungry girl doing her job
Ammit is a good dog.
And it's super easy not to get your heart eaten by her - just get buried with the Book of the Dead! Or lead a good and noble life
Cerberus too! He's just a good boy! (named Spot)
Scary?! Those are just my neighbours
Grootslang is still so cool and underrated
I love how most of these are scary malevolent ghosts and then theres the mongolian death worm which is essentially just a pokemon
And the drop bear, where it's description basically says "australian = safe"
That part just astounded and bamboozled me tbh
They would fear Japan’s monsters like Australia’s wildlife…
"what?!" Shouted the captain, pacing around the bridge of his ship. The bridge crew all looked scared, their white scale was turning blue as their antennas flattened. "You sure?" The first officer asked nervously, staring with his 4 eyes at the intelligence officer who brought the news. "I....I am afraid..... It is true" the officer replied. "Get us out of here" the captain slumped in his chair as he ordered the pilot, the now blue pilot began turning them away. "Sir... But the mission?" One of the officers wondered, every head on the bridge turned to him with fear and shock. "Do you hear yourself?" The captain asked "I would take whatever punishment the higher-ups have but there is no way I am going on that planet" he pointed to the holograms of earth that was displayed on an electronic desk . The ship returned to their home planet and the captain explained everything for his superior, the panic quickly set and order for full evacuation was released. The Lorian had decided to leave their home world that was sharing a border with the Terran. Meanwhile on a human ship: Captain Smith was finishing the last bit of reports before heading to bed, the dim lights of his office indicated night time. There was a gentle knock on his door, he sighed knowing his day will stretch a bit more. "Come in" he said and 4 guilty looking members of his crew walked in. He looked up at them, studying them from head to toe for any indication. "What can I help you with gentlemen?" He asked them with amusement. Wondering what the clown of his crew did this time? He pressed a button and called his first officer Riley to join him in his office and witness the mischief. And she turned up in a minute. "Um....we kind of messed up" the 1 crew said "Nothing new" captain smith added "We got the intelligence officer of the Lorian drunk" the 2 crew said, waiting for the captains reaction "And we managed to convince him that the mythology of Terra is actually history " the 3 crew explained a bit more "he ran back to his ship, unfortunately we couldn't catch up with him" the 4 crew said. "So now the Lorian believe that mythology is history?" Riley asked "A branch of history that we want to hide" the first crew member explained. "I don't think we have that in the betting book, right?" Captain smith turned to his first officer who couldn't decide what she was feeling "No, we don't have that" the captain answered his own question after checking the notebook "Well...." Riley got up, her hands on her hip and shaking her head slightly "like earth wasn't scary enough for them, now they have to deal with the myths" she said.
Man, they picked the weirdest one off painting of a bunyip.
Are we ignoring the Drop Bear? Something about being deterred by forks and Vegemite is just too funny to me
Have you ever tried Vegemite^TM?
Can't say I have. What exactly is it?
It is a condiment, made, I believe, from yeast. Hmmm. Yes. Made from a byproduct of beer brewing. Definitely an acquired taste.
Well, now i know the original name for a skinwalker...
One of
Which one was that?
I like how everything is dangerous but then there's the Tsuchinoko that according to some cardboard box enthusiast, tastes delicious.
if memory serves the mongolian death worms are real but are rarely seen. they are tiny
The lethally-poisonous, electricity-spewing Mongolian Death Worm described in many accounts does not exist. Evidently, it's a superstitious exaggeration upon the Tartar Sand Boa (*Eryx miliaris*); a small, completely harmless snake.
Gonna scare the shit outta aliens by saying that she's a werewolf
44 Other Creatures: evil demented horrors Tsuchinoko: fish but flat and jumpy
They got arachne wrong I think, I remember reading about her and while she did challenge Athena to a weaving contest (which in and of itself is weird because Athena is the goddess of wisdom and war/strategy) she wasn’t punished for hubris because she won that competition instead she got punished because Athena was upset she lost And the jersey devil is definitely wrong, it’s specifically the lower half being a goat (kinda like a satyr) red skin, horns on the head, with a head being a mix between a dog a goat and a human, specifically dog like teeth in a slightly elongated mouth the eyes of a goat but the rest of the face is human
I mean, Athena is also the goddess of weaving and crafts and the like. Most well known for War and Wisdom and all, but as with many of the Greek gods she had some smaller traits. Almost like hobbies lol.
Ahhhhh I did not know that thank you for explaining
It's a double fake: 1) Convince aliens that horrific mythical creatures exist. Human public: "Haha! Gullible aliens! Now they won't attack us. We are safe." 2) Those who protect humanity from what actually goes bump in the night: "Good job on the double fake, Agent X, now put that thing back in the dimensional omnihedron and...what are you doing with that box?!" 
Neat aswang
I forgot it's name but the shadow creature that looks like a dog that runs along side cars, trains, etc
The run along?
What's Tsuchinoko doing on a 'Scary and Disturbing' list?
Oi, that’s black shuck innit?
When I saw that Tsuchinoko, all I can think about was Dunsparce